


Path of Honor-Part II: Far From Home

by IdrilsSecret



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-02-22 10:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 204,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2504861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdrilsSecret/pseuds/IdrilsSecret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To avoid the scandal that is still following Rumil in Lothlorien, he is sent on a mission to Mirkwood. He must negotiate with the elven king, and convince him that the Wood elves are needed in this time of crisis. It's an impossible task, until he finds an ally in Legolas ... and something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

I was far from home, lost in this strange land of twisted boughs and tangled vines. Light did not penetrate this canopy, and it hadn’t in many long years. The evidence was in the soil, rot and decay all around me. Everything that grew here was warped by the evil that saturated the earth and the air. It smelled like mold and mildew, like the putrid stink that escaped disturbed swamp waters. But there was something else mixed in the miasma that polluted the air … dead things, flesh decomposing into some kind of unsavory, viscous stew. There was only one thing around here that could cause the forest to exhale such an effluvial mixture … spiders.

I was long overdue to meet the Wood elves who were to be my guide through Mirkwood. I started to think that they had abandoned me altogether. But I ran into a bit of trouble with my horse, and he threw me and ran away not long after we started our journey along the Old Forest Road. He wasn’t my horse, thank the Valar. I’d left my grey at an inn and traded him for a common brown who, I was told, was immune to the odd things that we might encounter along our way. I was duped, of course. The first inkling the horse got that we were entering into dangerous territory, and he panicked and fled, leaving me to continue on foot. I would call him a dumb beast, except that I felt like I was the dumb one for coming here.

“Go to Mirkwood, he said. I trust you over anyone else to accomplish this task, he said. Well, balls to that, I say,” I complained after stepping on the thousandth gnarled root that lined the path.

“And a mighty big pair you must have to come all this way on foot,” someone said from above.

I looked up and found two elves sitting on a branch that grew over the road. They were female, but they dressed like the men, in simple moss green tunics and leggings. They both had long straight hair the color of honey, braided at their temples and tied in the back. From what I could see, they had no armor and no weapons, and they wore soft soled boots that would let the foot feel every grain of sand. I guess I had no reason to complain about my own feet that were well protected by their thick bottoms.

I bowed as was proper, though it was difficult with the two of them above me, not in front of me. “Ladies,” I greeted. “I am Captain Rúmil of–”

“Lothlórien. Yes, we know,” one of them finished for me. “We’ve been expecting you. Should have passed this way two days ago, Captain. We were beginning to think something happened to you.”

“I … seemed to have lost my horse,” I said embarrassed to admit it. “He became spooked on the road further back and–”

“Did you get him from Balkí?” asked the other elleth. “In the village of Arstad?”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” I said, recognizing the name of the man.

“No wonder you’re late then,” said the first elleth.

“Should I be worried that I left grey in Mr. Balkí’s care?” I wondered.

The pair of ellith swooped down and landed next to me as graceful as felines. That’s when I noticed they were twins. “He’ll take great care of your horse, Captain,” said one.

“Unless he finds a high bidder,” said her sister.

“What?” I cried.

“Don’t listen to my sister. She’s a trickster,” said … well, I’d lost track of which one was which.

“You know my name, my ladies. Might I have the pleasure to know yours?” As I spoke, I noticed that one wore her braids in a double row, while the other wore hers singularly. At least now I could tell them apart.

“I am Corweth,” said the elleth who spoke to me first, the one with double braids. She seemed brash compared to her sister.

“And I’m Messel,” said the second.

“It is very nice to meet the both of you, but if you’ll just show me to an officer or a high commander . . .” I was interrupted by their annoying stares as they giggled. “What?”

“We have no commander,” said Corweth.

“We just happened to be there when your letter came, and then we volunteered to be your escorts,” said Messel.

“They would let their women risk their lives in this forsaken place?” I wonder aloud, and instantly wished I’d not spoken. Both women closed in on me, eyes narrowed in suspicion. I was a stranger in this unfamiliar and strange land. I should have known better.

I’d forgotten what Haldir and Orophin told me about Wood elves. They were unpredictable, just as these two were now. Corweth circled me, watching every move, every flutter of my eyelids, sizing me up. Then she stopped when she came around, putting her face up to mine. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty, Captain. Otherwise I might have reason to slash you for insulting my kingdom. Mirkwood might seem forsaken to you, but it is my home, and the only home I’ve ever known. I’d give my life to protect it.”

“Sister, you cannot threaten a guest of the King,” said Messel as she interrupted the very tense moment happening. Then she stepped up to me. “You must excuse my sister. She is very passionate when it comes to our home. I’m sure you meant nothing by it,” she said.

“No, of course not. You must excuse me Lady Corweth. In Lothlórien, our women are not allowed to participate in army life.”

“Pfft,” she said, making a cynical noise. “Amazing that you have not fallen prey to the enemy then.” Corweth backed away and started along the road. “Let’s go, Captain. It will be dark soon, and we don’t want to be in this part of the forest when the sun sets.”

I looked to the canopy above. “How can you tell?” I murmured to myself. Ever since entering the Old Forest Road, it had been dark, and I could not decipher between night and day. At least I had found my escorts, even if we got off to a bad start. I made a mental note not to cross Corweth again. She seemed to have a short temper. I was beginning to see why Wood elves had no discretion against women in their army.

We walked along the road for a while and I began to wonder. “Where might your horses be, if you don’t mind my inquiry?” 

Corweth gave me a confused glare, and then turned to Messel. “He’s serious, isn’t he?”

Messel shrugged her shoulders, and Corweth turned back to answer me. “Wood elves have no horses. Only the King, his son the Prince, and a few of his court have them.”

“Then how do you navigate the forest at a quick pace?” I asked.

Corweth rolled her eyes, and walked to a nearby tree. She grabbed a large vine hanging nearly to the ground and took it in her hand. “We go up, Captain.” She scampered up the vine until she was high up in the tree, where she waited for us to follow her.

Messel smiled and grabbed the vine, but she paused to look back at me. “Don’t you navigate the trees in Lothlórien?”

“Well … uh … we do … but … uh–”

“And you call yourself an elf,” Corweth called down. “Show him how it’s done, sister.”

Messel looked at me with shy eyes, blinking through her long lashes. “Trust the trees, Captain. Respect them, and they will never fail you. There is always a vine or a branch where you need one.”

“So you swing through the trees?” I asked with awe.

“Swing, climb, run, we travel high in the canopy,” Corweth said, hearing our conversation. “The spiders tend not to come up to the top. They fear the sun and the moon. We’ll be safer up there than down here.”

I started my climb up the vine, remembering how I used to do this all the time when I was an elfling. Corweth and Messel made it look easy, as they gracefully climbed higher. I was careful as I started out, but soon I found my footing, and picked up my pace. The sisters would go ahead, and then stop to wait for me to catch up. Corweth seemed to be getting annoyed again.

“You’d travel much faster without your cloak,” she said.

I shook my head with defiance. “I’ll not leave it. This was a gift from someone long ago. It has sentimental value that cannot be replaced.”

Corweth spiraled down her vine, coming back to me. When she reached me, she looked at my cape and then to me. “Give it here, Captain,” she demanded.

“I said I would not leave it behind, and I mean not to,” I demanded.

She closed her eyes and sighed. “Just give me the cape, Captain. I’ll not do anything to harm it, if it means that much to you.”

Reluctantly, I gave her my cape, unpinning it at the neck first. Messel watched her sister’s impatience, then my brooch caught her eye. “I thought Lórien elves wore a green leaf brooch veined in silver,” she observed.

“Usually we do, my lady, but I gave mine to a special friend for safe keeping,” I said. Actually, Túron, my ex-lover had taken mine to remember me by when he left Lothlórien. Now, I wore a silver elven knot, designed in an intricate motif of intertwining loops that had no beginning and no end.

Corweth heard my answer and looked me over from head to toe. “Special friend?” she inquired. Then a fiendish smile touched the corners of her mouth. She came back to where I stood anchored on a large branch, and took the cloak from Messel. Then she gave me a particular glare. “Have you met the Prince before, Captain?”

“No, I have not, but I look forward to it, my lady,” I answered as cordially as possible to be sure I was on her good side.

She gave me a hard look before she smiled. Then she reached around and patted my bum, a most unexpected move. I must have looked as shocked as I felt, for she laughed at my expense, her sister joining in the fun. “And I’m sure the Prince will look forward to meeting you too, Captain.” Corweth folded my cape rather hastily and shoved it into a pack that she carried on her back. “For safe keeping,” she teased, and with that we were on our way again.

When we reached the higher parts of the canopy, we started forward. Corweth and Messel were very agile as they leapt from bough to bough, barely rustling the leaves. They hopped along as though they were on the ground and there was no fear of falling. I was much slower, checking my surroundings before each jump. I knew I slowed the women down considerably, and I feared that Corweth might tire of me and leave me. I found myself putting my faith in Messel. She seemed to be the more level-headed sister who would not leave a guest of the King behind.

“You’re doing much better than I thought you would,” commented Messel. She tended to stay with me and let her sister go on up ahead.

“It’s been a very long time since I’ve done anything like this,” I said, jumping from one branch to the next. I never took my eyes off my path.

“Don’t you travel through the trees in Lothlórien?” she asked with surprise.

Corweth answered for her. “The elves of Lórien have forgotten what it is like to navigate the trees.”

“I beg your pardon, Lady Corweth, but we live in the trees,” I corrected.

“You live in them, yes, but your feet never touch the bark.” Corweth turned to Messel to give further explanation. “They live in houses built amongst the trees, and they tread upon walkways that join them.” Corweth turned by to me with narrowed eyes. “If you kept your faith in the trees, they would not fail you.”

“You’ve said that before,” I murmured. Then I directed my answer to Messel. “We honor the mallorns with great care. To climb around in the ancient forest would be disrespectful.”

“And how would you know, Captain? There are very few Sindarin elves that speak their language anymore,” Corweth argued.

“I know. I am one of them,” I said quietly.

Corweth looked back at me, eyes narrowed to slits, but she said nothing, and we continued on our way.

* * * * *

Although the forest was dark because of the dense canopy, I could tell that night had finally fallen upon us. Every now and again, I got a glimpse of the moon or a bright cluster of stars. I became surer of my footing and was able to keep up with Corweth and Messel as we traveled through the high boughs of the trees. After a while, Corweth stopped and signaled for her sister and me to do the same. Messel looked back at me and lifted one finger to her lips. I nodded in compliance.

Corweth climbed down a few branches, watching the forest below us. She looked up at her sister and smiled fiendishly, giving a nod and a wink. Messel answered with a twinning smile and glanced around her, searching for something.

“What is it?” I whispered.

We were in a part of the forest where a mixture of pine and oak grew. Messel spotted a pinecone hanging from one of the branches and plucked it from its stem. Then she tossed it to Corweth below. “Come, Captain Rúmil,” she said to me.

We climbed down until we were at the same level with Corweth, who was carelessly tossing the pinecone from hand to hand. That made me more than a little nervous, for obviously, she had spotted something in the lower part of the forest. She pointed to an area under us, and I squint my eyes and focused on the place. I didn’t see anything at first, not until they moved. Two very large, nasty spiders were sitting on a giant web strung between multiple trees. I gasped, never having seen spiders of such grand proportions before. I started to reach for my bow fastened to my back, but Messel reached for my arm and stopped me. Then she gestured to another place below, and I looked down again. Far below on the ground was an orc, alone and seeming to hide amongst some of the underbrush.

“Now, Captain, you’ll see why we travel up high in the trees,” said Corweth. She pointed to the spider’s webbing. “They cannot see very well, but they feel every tremble of movement, especially through their webs. The orc knows this. That’s why he’s hiding.” Corweth examined the pinecone in her hand and glanced to Messel. “Those spiders look hungry, wouldn’t you say, sister?”

“Famished,” she answered with an impish grin.

Corweth took aim and carefully dropped the pinecone. It bounced off of one of the mooring threads that anchored the web between the trees. The spiders turned towards the direction of the disturbance. Meanwhile, the cone fell to the forest floor, next to the orc, who jumped when he heard it land. He came out of his hiding place, and the spiders spotted him. Slowly, they moved closer and closer until they were right above the orc, who was too busy checking his surroundings. He didn’t think to look up until it was too late. The spiders attacked swiftly and silently, the only sound being a grunt that came from the unsuspecting orc. In a matter of seconds, the orc was completely wrapped in the spider’s sticky web, like a caterpillar in a cocoon. His body was carried up to the giant web, where he was placed off to the side, a meal for later.

“They won’t kill him right away,” Corweth informed me. “They’ll paralyze him so that he can’t escape, but he’ll be alive and fresh when they are ready to feed. Nasty business, the feeding of spiders, and a horrible way to die … eaten alive, the juice sucked right out of you.”

I gave a disgusted look. “I’m glad we’re above them,” I commented.

“Aye, we are safer up here, but not out of danger. Come, let’s get going while the spiders are busy settling their meal,” Corweth said as she climbed up towards the canopy. Messel and I followed close behind, and we kept moving for a while.

We must have traveled most of the night, only stopping briefly every once in a while to drink from our water skins. I was lucky to still have mine. I’d left it strapped over my shoulder when I was riding, forgetting to attach it to my saddle. It was one of the few things I had with me when the horse threw me and ran away. Of course, I had my bow, which I always fastened to my back. And in my pocket, there was a bit of lembas, elvish waybread. I didn’t have much; I’d tucked a piece away instead of taking the time wrap it in its leaf covering and put it back in my saddle bag. Thank the Valar for my hastiness, or I wouldn’t have any food at all.

Corweth and Messel took a pouch from their journey pack and opened it to reveal strips of something dark and petrified. It looked like flat sticks of some sort. Each woman ripped a bite off with their teeth, and then chewed it for a very long while. Then, Messel offered me one.

“What is it?” I asked, taking the offered stick and examining it closely.

“Dried venison. Good source of protein to keep your strength up,” Messel answered.

I sniffed it, tried to break a piece off, and when I failed, I handed it back to her. “I believe the leather of my boot is softer, and would be easier to consume.”

Messel looked at the meat, shrugged her shoulders and took another bite. Corweth rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You have to eat something, Captain.”

“I’ve lembas in my pocket that will suffice,” I said, reaching into my tunic and bringing out the bread. I was surprised to find spots of black mold growing on it. The humid air of the forest had gotten to it. I hadn’t considered that. Lembas was kept wrapped in a leaf to lengthen its freshness. Obviously, the thick, wet air of the Rhovanion made my waybread spoil quickly. Feeling deflated with my findings, I stuffed the lembas back into my pocket.

Corweth guffawed and took her boot off, waving it at me. “Eat up, Captain.”

Messel shared in a laugh, and then offered me another piece of the venison. I took it and fought to bite a piece off. I had to admit, once my saliva started softening it, the flavor was not half bad.

Through with our abstemious meal, we were off again. After a while, I noticed that the trees were thinning at their tops, and the branches were becoming smaller and less suitable for traveling along. We descended about half way to the forest floor, but kept to the trees for now.

“We’re getting close to the outermost borders of Mirkwood,” Messel informed me. “Soon, we’ll be able to walk on the ground again.”

I was delighted to hear it. My muscles were aching from all the climbing, swinging and jumping. “It seems like we got here quickly.”

“There are shorter ways to reach our lands when we travel the trees,” Corweth said. “Once we reach the river, we’ll be within the borders. We’ll be safe there, but I’d advise you to keep your bow on your back. Mirkwood elves are very suspicious and unforgiving if they think they are being threatened.”

“Does that hold true even when I’m being escorted?” I asked. I was beginning to feel more like a prisoner than a guest.

“Any and all threats are vanquished quickly,” she warned only once. I said nothing more on the matter and kept my bow to my back.

Half the day later, I heard the distant rush of water, and knew we were getting close to the river. I could not wait to touch my feet to solid ground again. After roaming trees for two days, I began to think that my original complaining about roots in the road was frivolous.

“We’re here,” Corweth announced, and she hurried down a large beech. They were all over the place, I noticed. Huge majestic looking beech trees, seemingly untouched by the poisons of the rest of the forest.

“Once we cross the river, how much further until we reach the King’s home?” I asked.

“Not far,” said Messel. “Only a couple hours.”

That was surprising. It took nearly a day to reach some of Lothlórien’s closest borders. I thought King Thranduil would have more territory than this, and I realized that it was the evil and the darkness that closed in on him and his people, eating away at his lands.

Finally, I touched ground and gave a sigh of relief. It felt rather strange to walk a straight line without the surface bowing. It still felt like I was walking on branches. I wondered if this was similar to what Cirdan’s shipwrights called sea legs, the ghostly feeling that the ocean was still below their feet. Corweth and Messel seemed to adjust quickly, and so I did the same, ignoring the odd sensation.

“Our numbers have diminished over the years,” Corweth said as we walked towards the sound of moving water. “Mirkwood’s borders used to go out past the river, but with fewer elves to protect the kingdom, our borders have shrunk. The spiders keep pushing closer, but we push back even harder. Now we use the rivers as part of our defenses. Spiders and orcs won’t pass them, and even if they tried, they would fall to our arrows.”

“Mirkwood elves are avid archers, Captain,” Messel added, pride tinging her words.

“Yes, I know. I’ve heard of your great skill with a bow. I’ve always been intrigued. I myself prefer the bow over the sword. My regiment is made up of archers. We are among the first to enter into battle, abating the enemy’s front lines before the swordsmen troops advance,” I boasted.

Corweth stopped and gave me a sharp look. Her eyes regarded me skeptically. “I would not have marked you for an accomplished archer.”

“And the bow on my back?” I asked. I was becoming tired of her ridiculing.

“Just because someone carries a bow does not mean they know how to use it,” she answered.

“I should like to test your theory, my lady,” I challenged.

“Are you summoning me to engage in a contest, Captain Rúmil?” Corweth seemed delighted by the idea.

“Perhaps when I am done with my official business.”

“I accept,” she agreed.

“Come on,” Messel interrupted. “We should be on our way.”

We finally made it to the river, and I was disappointed with my findings. “How are we supposed to cross here?” The river was flowing fast, too fast to cross by foot, if it was shallow enough, or by swimming.

“We’ll go by boat,” Corweth said, her voiced raised above the loud turning water.

I looked around, but saw no boat. Even if there was one, the current was far too swift to paddle across to the other side. “I don’t understand,” I complained. “I don’t see how we are going to–”

“I wouldn’t stand there if I were you, Captain,” Messel called out. She look up and I turned around, following her line of vision. Behind me stood what was left of an oak, long dead with only about ten feet of the trunk left standing. The first thing I noticed were all the holes and broken arrows protruding from it. I swung around to ask Messel what this was, when Corweth made the unmistakable sound of a whippoorwill.

“Captain, if you’d so kindly step to the–” Messel called again, just as something whizzed by my left ear. It was so close, I felt the hairs at my temple move. Too late, I fell to one knee, turned and looked up. There was a new arrow embedded in the dead tree trunk with a thin rope attached to it. My eyes followed the rope to the other side of the rapids, and there I saw a pair of elvish guards tying their end of the rope to another tree.

“What … in the name of Eru … was that?” I complained, having come close to death. “I was almost shot!”

“Next time listen to my sister,” Corweth said coolly, as she loosed the rope from the arrow and began tying it around the tree. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought she wanted me to get stuck with an arrow through my head.

I got up and dusted the dirt from my leggings, trying to control my ire. Meanwhile, Messel was rummaging around in the nearby bushes. At least I thought that’s what she was doing. What I thought was a bush was actually a blanket of some sort. It looked like magic from where I was standing, as the elleth whipped the blanket away, revealing a rowboat.

“What was that?” I asked curiously.

“That is a camouflaging quilt. It’s made of a very rare thread. There’s only four like it in all of Middle-earth. It’s similar to a looking glass, picking up the reflection of its surroundings,” Messel said. She bunched up the material and stuffed it into the front of the boat.

I went to the boat and helped the women drag it to the edge of the river. Now I could see what their plan was. We would stand in the boat, and use the rope to pull ourselves across the raging river. “Why do you cross here and not where the water is more calm?” I wondered.

“The river flows like this for miles both ways. This is the shortest distance between shores. The quick paced water ensures Mirkwood’s safety. Nothing can cross it. The quilt hides the boat from anyone who might try, and sentries are stationed here to make sure no one does.”

“Why not just place guards along here?” I asked, as we climbed into the boat and started our way across the river. It was not an easy way to go, but with the three of us pulling our way, we went fairly fast. 

“We don’t have enough people to spare. Besides, the river is more than efficient for protecting this part of the kingdom,” Messel answered. She gave me a stern glare. “Whatever you do, Captain, don’t let the water–”

“Orcs!” yelled the sentries on the other side of the river. 

I turned back to the bank we pushed off from, just in time to see three orcs run out from the cover of the trees. Instantly, I reached for my bow, but Corweth stopped me. “Keep us anchored to the crossing rope. Messel and I will take care of the orcs.”

At that exact moment, one of the orcs produced an axe and stomped towards the old dead tree. His yellow teeth flashed just before he swung his weapon, cutting the rope. It went limp and our boat started moving with the fast current. I still had it in my hand, and I knew it was the only thing that would keep us from floating downstream. “I’ve got this, you shoot the orcs,” I called to the women.

“Rúmil, no!” Messel panicked. “You can’t hold it with your bare hands. The current is too strong. It will–”

But too late I realized my mistake. The current grabbed the boat and it went swiftly along the river. Once we reached the end of the rope, it slid across the palms of my hands, feeling like instant fire. Rope burn, I thought, but I knew I couldn’t let go.

Corweth and Messel were firing arrows at the orcs, as well as the sentries. The orcs were firing back, but the elves had the advantage in numbers. While they battled, I ignored the pain in my hands and pulled with all my might, trying to reel the boat to the shore. It was almost too painful, and I was losing my grip. Suddenly, I felt a hard punch to my thigh that knocked me towards the side of the boat, and I stumbled. My right hand slipped and I felt the icy water below, but caught myself before I fell overboard. I looked at my leg, and saw a black arrow protruding from it.

At the same time, I began to feel very dizzy and sleepy. The first thing I thought was that the arrow was poisoned. “Messel!” I yelled to get her attention.

Messel turned to me and saw the arrow. Then she saw the wet sleeve of my tunic, and yelled to her sister. “Damn it! He’s touched the water! Rúmil is losing consciousness!”

“Grab the rope!” Corweth yelled back, and Messel acted fast.

I couldn’t understand why she didn’t mention the arrow in my leg. That seemed much more important than a soaked sleeve. It was only water. And why was I suddenly so tired? My eyes closed involuntarily. I tried to speak, to tell the women that I’d been poisoned. Surely they would know to check the wound for signs. No words escaped my lips. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t get my lips to move at all. Sleep overwhelmed me. So … tired … need to … … rest.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz . . .


	2. Chapter 2

Such vivid dreams I had. I was at home in my nice warm bed. Túron was sleeping next to me. I felt so relieved that he was back, though I didn’t know why. He shouldn’t be here, I thought. After everything that happened, he should be far from here. Raenor was still trying to find evidence of our relationship. If we were caught . . .

Túron rolled over, a sated smile upon those sumptuous ruby lips. “Good morning, lover.”

“I’ve missed you so much,” I said.

He kissed my cheek and my neck, moving to my chest and further down. I stretched luxuriously and allowed him to reign my body as his mouth surrounded me and . . .

Pain … shooting through my leg … white hot pain that brought me out of my slumber. My eyes were still heavy, and they wouldn’t open. Where was I? I couldn’t remember anything at first. The confusion was overwhelming. Last thing I remembered was orcs on the riverbank … arrows flying … slipping in a boat and—

“I don’t envy elf men,” said a familiar voice. “To wake up like that, and no way to alleviate it.”

“Oh, there are ways, Lady Corweth, though it is better not to wake up alone.” This was a new voice, a male, someone I did not know.

“And when was the last time my lord woke up alone with only his hand for company?” she teased.

“More times than I shall ever admit,” he said jovially.

“Wh- where am?” I asked, finding my vocal chords working again, though they felt dry. The room I was in was dark. Only a single candle lit the gray walls. Rock or stone from what I could tell. No windows, unless they were blocked out by curtains and it was nighttime.

“You are in the Healer’s Hall, Captain Rúmil.” I recognized the voice as that of Corweth. “Nasty wound you got there. No poison, you are very lucky. Evil bastard must not have had any on his arrow.”

“No poison? Then what is wrong with me?”

“Again, you did not heed our advice. You touched the water, and it cast its spell on you.”

“The water?” I was so confused, and it seemed as if Corweth was enjoying keeping me in this state.

“The river is enchanted,” said the male. His voice was like satin, rich and smooth, soft and tranquilizing. “When you touched it, the water put you under a sleeping spell.”

“I can’t see anything,” I said, a bit panicked. Either the spell hadn’t completely worn off, or there was permanent damage.

“Corweth, light a few more candles for the Captain,” said the ellon.

“Yes, my lord,” she answered.

The room brightened beyond my closed eyes. I strained to open them, and they slowly abided. Everything was blurry until I started to concentrate on focusing. Finally, I was able to see my surroundings. I seemed to be in a cave, but I had no idea where. I was in a bed, and there was a table next to me with a basin, a stack of clean folded rags, a jar of some sort, and a pitcher of water.

The ellon sitting at the foot of my bed had long straight hair the color of ripe wheat. His skin glowed with the light of Telperion. I could tell he had very ancient blood that tied him to the early days of elven existence. Upon his head sat a mithril circlet with a single teardrop shaped emerald in the center. He was of royalty, no doubt. “Forgive my ignorance, but are you King Thranduil?”

His eyes, which were of the truest shade of blue I’d ever seen, crinkled with mirth, and he lifted a finger to his lips to hide his laughter. “Ai, that I should be King one day. What do you think, Corweth?”

“A fine King you would make, your Grace,” she answered, but there was humor in her words. “But I do not see your father giving up the throne anytime soon.”

“How right you are. No, Captain, I’m afraid that title will go with my father when he sails, if he ever sails, and that is a very big if,” he said, and I knew who it was I was speaking with.

“Prince Legolas, I’m sorry I did not know you,” I apologized. The last thing I wanted to do was to piss off the King’s son.

“Corweth, will you give us a moment?” Legolas requested.

“Of course, my lord. I’ll let the Master Healer know the Captain is awake,” she said and bowed as she left the room.

Legolas studied me a moment before returning to our conversation. There was something very intriguing about the Prince. He was not at all what I expected, especially to hear him trade banter with Corweth. I guess I thought he would be more like his father, for I’d heard plenty of stories about the King, and none of them were about his sense of humor.

“Captain Rúmil,” he said slowly, letting my name roll off his tongue as though he was tasting it. “One of the Lórien Three. Your oldest brother is Haldir, March Warden of the Northern Border Guard. Your other brother is a Captain, like yourself. Orophin, I believe?”

“Yes, my lord,” I answered.

He put his hand up to stop me. “Please, no ‘my lord’ while we are alone. You may call me Legolas if it pleases you, but most have trouble calling me by my name only. So I tell them not to call me by any name, and speak as though we are friends. It seems to work. I never liked titles much anyways.”

“I will call you by your name if you call me by mine. ‘Captain’ is not necessary,” I said to make things even between us.

“I will do that … Rúmil,” he said again, only this time he didn’t savor it. “We’ve been expecting you. Corweth tells me you ran into a bit of trouble early on your journey through the Rhovanion.”

“I did, but I am here now. I need to speak to your father, the King. I’ve something very important to discuss with him.”

“About?” Legolas asked.

“About the rising number of orcs,” I said. I was given orders to speak with Thranduil, not his son.

“Well, that is nothing new to us. And as you saw for yourself, they are becoming more daring and closing in on our land.”

“And do you know of the growing orc army marching out of Dol Guldur?”

He gave a haughty smile. “Where else would they come from? Orcs have been oozing out of the dark tower for many years.”

“Perhaps if your father didn’t hide beneath his hill, and sent his armies out to push them back, they would not be such a problem as they are now.” There was a certain arrogance about him that made my ire build. If Thranduil was an oak tree, then Legolas was the acorn that did not fall far from him.

Legolas didn’t speak, but his eyes narrowed as he inspected me. He was trying to figure out where my thoughts were in all of this, but he didn’t have to think too hard. Finally, he spoke. “Why didn’t Haldir come this time?”

“We are at war in Lothlórien. He is busy commanding his troops,” I answered.

“And you are a Captain. Aren’t you needed with your regiment?”

“My brother Orophin can command both his and mine. But as you have pointed out, my time is valuable, and all I want is to deliver my message and be on my way.”

Legolas’ eyes traveled down my body, resting on my thigh where the arrow had bit me. “I don’t think you’ll be leaving any time soon, not until you are well enough to travel. There will be plenty of time for you to meet with my father.” He looked to the table and noticed the empty glass. “Where are my manners? You must be thirsty. Let me pour you some water.” Legolas stood from my bed and went to the table, taking up the pitcher and glass. He filled it and handed it to me.

I drank deep and held it in my mouth to moisten my tongue and throat. And all the time, Legolas was watching me, studying my every move.

“Of whom do you dream about?” he asked out of nowhere.

I choked on my water. “Pardon?”

“Before you woke up, you were dreaming of someone. Your wife? Your betrothed?”

“I … I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stammered. He was making me very uncomfortable, and I think he wanted it that way.

“Come now, Rúmil. An elf does not wake up with a cockstand because he was dreaming of sweet rolls or pipe weed.”

I gasped at his use of vulgarity, and at the fact that he had been watching. “I’m sorry, but Prince or no, I don’t wish to discuss my personal life with someone I have just met.”

He ignored me and went on with his investigation. “My guess is that you haven’t seen her in quite some time, but you still think about her. What happened? Did she smite you? Found you with another elleth? I must admit, you are a very handsome ellon. I imagine it is difficult for you to tie yourself to one person for very long.”

“You don’t know me at all if you think that,” I complained. Just who in Mordor did he think he was to ask me such blatant questions, and pry into my personal life? I started to sit up, but the sudden movement sent a shockwave of pain down my leg. I winced and fell back into my pillows.

“Alright, keep your secrets. Don’t hurt yourself. I’ll stop … for now.” Legolas came around to the foot of my bed. “I thought you might be different from your brother, but I see you are just as stuffy as he is. Must be like that with all Lothlórien elves.”

“And you have less manners than I would expect from royalty. Must be like that with all Wood elves,” I mocked.

Legolas’ eyes turned to slits, and for a moment I thought he might call for his guards to come and drag me to the cells. But then the corner of his mouth quirked into a devious smile, as if to say the game was on. “I like you, Rúmil. You’ve got moxie. At least in that way you are different from Haldir. I look forward to speaking with you again.” He went to the door and stepped into the hallway. “The healer will be here shortly. Get your rest. You’ll need it.”

My jaw unclenched when he left. I’d been biting my tongue, trying not to unleash my anger on him. “Damn Wood elves,” I mumbled to myself. “If he wants moxie, I’ll show him moxie.”

* * * * *

Bed rest for a day, I was told by the healer. I argued with him to at least allow me to move about my room, but I was denied. So now what was I to do, trapped in a room with no windows, buried beneath the ground in a cave, surrounded by reckless Wood elves who seemed to have no concerns about the world outside? I couldn’t even disobey the healer’s orders. My clothes were gone, and I was left with nothing but a white patient gown that was much to sheer to be seen in. At least I had my bow, which was leaning against the wall in the corner of my room. Not that it would do me much good, but it was a comfort, something familiar, something from home.

I laid there the first day, sulking, my only visitor the healer that checked my wound and changed my bandages. I didn’t even know her name, and she did not speak to me. Perhaps she was ordered not to, or perhaps she was like all the rest, not fond of a Lothlórien elf. I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to speak with the King and be gone from this place. I missed the trees and the clean air of Caras Galadhon. I missed the mallorns and the lanterns that lit my home, like a million stars beneath the boughs. It took me too long to get to Mirkwood, and it was taking me too long to leave. I felt my impatience growing by the hour.

The next day, the healer finally spoke to me. She told me I could walk around my room and along the main corridor of the Healing Hall, but nowhere else. I smiled, glad for anything more than lying in my bed. My first time up, the healer helped me since I was a bit wobbly on my feet. It didn’t take me long to figure out how much pressure I could put on my injured leg, and I was fine to walk alone. With other patients to attend to, the healer left and I ventured down the long hall.

There were alcoves on both sides, some with a door and some with just a curtain, patient rooms. The hall itself was like a tunnel, and it literally was, since it was underground. Torches lit the hallway, one by each door. Most doors or curtains were closed, a patient inside being tended by the many healers of Mirkwood. It was not a very nice place to be, and a bit depressing at that. The muffled moans and wails of the injured came through. Soldiers, I guessed, come home by some miracle that they were not spun in webbing and saved for a later meal. I remembered the orc and shuddered.

Why did they live like this? Why didn’t they flee to another land where they wouldn’t have to endure the darkness? They didn’t fight for anything but the protection of the King’s precious halls, filled with rich treasures. They wouldn’t march out and meet the enemy, to strike out and push back, and reclaim the land that was rightfully theirs. Instead, they stayed hidden away, under the ground, living in darkness and gloom, breathing stale air, cramped together like a herd of cattle.

There was a commotion happening at the far end of the hall. Two elves brought in a third on a litter. I was pushed to the side as the woman who tended my leg rushed past and directed them into the nearest free room. I hobbled down the hall to see what was happening. I was a soldier, and I knew what battle wounds looked like. I knew the frame of mind that an injured soldier was in. Perhaps I could help in some way.

I stood in the open doorway, and watched as the two healthy elves took the injured elf by the arms and held him down. The healer stuck a thick piece of leather in her patient’s mouth, and she grabbed a saw. They were going to cut his leg off, but why? Though elves sustained injuries like any other race in the world, we had the advantage of rapid healing. What could be so bad that they would take his leg? And that’s when the healer threw the bandages from the injured leg. Like I said, I’ve seen the worst kinds of wounds before, but this was something altogether new to me. There was no gash from a sword or an axe. There was nothing but blood and white ooze, and the shinbone exposed. I’d never seen what a spider the size of a large dog could do to flesh, and it shocked me. It had melted through skin and muscle, and it was beginning to deteriorate the bone itself.

“Please, no,” the injured elf was crying out. “Don’t take my leg.”

“I have to. The poison has left nothing for me to save. If I don’t cut it off, it will keep consuming the rest of your leg and you will die,” the healer explained. She looked at the two elves holding their fellow soldier down, and nodded. The elves tightened their grip on him, and secured the leather bit. The healer brought the saw to the injury and moved it up until it was clear of the wound, just above the knee. Then she started cutting as though sawing through a log. The injured elf screamed in agony, a sound I would not soon forget. His eyes bulged from their sockets. Sweat poured down his face, and he screamed until the pain was so terrible that he could not take it anymore, and went unconscious.

“The spiders, they bite,” said a smooth voice from behind. I turned and found Prince Legolas standing behind me. “It is the worst thing that could happen to someone, to have been bitten by one of Shelob’s children. This is how they kill. They bite and scurry off. Then they wait for the poison to burn away flesh and bone, turning it to a gelatinous goo. The victim is then consumed by the spiders, a quick meal easy to consume. This elf was lucky that he was found right away and brought to the healers.”

“His leg was not lucky,” I pointed out. The healer was half way through the bone. It was a messy business taking a leg.

“Better to have half a leg than no life, no soul … bound for Mandos,” Legolas replied as though he were a thousand miles from here. “It’s a different kind of war we are fighting here, Captain. We’re not just protecting our borders. It’s too late for that. Now we are protecting the last of what we have, our home and lives.”

“We fight for the same thing in Lothlórien, only we go out and meet our enemy, not just hold them back,” I said, regretting my words. But it was true.

Legolas gave me the same look he gave me before, the one where I couldn’t be sure whether he would berate me or not. He just stood there, blue eyes blazing, staring in a way that made me feel vulnerable and open to him. I didn’t like it one bit. Finally he looked down at my patient robe. “I see they let you out of bed. You must be on the mend,” he observed, ignoring my last comment.

“I am, and soon I would request that meeting with your father,” I demanded.

“Would you like to go now?” he asked, surprising me.

I wanted nothing more than to go now, but it took every ounce of energy I had just to walk to the end of the hall without putting too much pressure on my leg. I got the feeling that Legolas knew this and he was toying with me. “I’ve been ordered to stay within the Healing Hall for the next couple days.”

He leaned into my ear and whispered, “And when have you ever followed the rules with such strict observance?” He stood straight again, a cunning smile curling the corners of his mouth. “Very well, Captain. A couple days and you’ll have your meeting. In the meantime, I do hope to get to know you better. I can’t help but feel we have more in common than one might think.”

I watched as Legolas entered the room where the poor elf lay trembling and bleeding on a table. The healer was too busy tending to the amputated leg to calm the elf. Legolas bent down and spoke with that cool, soothing voice. He could calm a herd of rutting stags with just a few words, I thought to myself. At the moment, he was keeping the injured elf from going any further into shock. The elf’s eyes lifted and looked directly into those of the Prince, as Legolas spoke of green leaves and warm winds of summer. The elf on the table stopped shaking and relaxed at the sound of the Prince’s voice, and I myself couldn’t help but envision the summer days of my youth, wishing I could go back there right now. And I found that I rather wished I could take Legolas with me, and show him what it was like to enjoy a Lothlórien summer. As he spoke to the elf, he turned his head to the side, and his brilliant eyes caught mine, as though he had heard my thoughts and agreed to my invitation. I shook myself from this odd trance and left, going back to my room where I could rest, but I couldn’t get the sight of those blue eyes out of my thoughts.

* * * * *

Two more days gone. Two more days that I was still in Mirkwood and not returning to my home. It had taken me three weeks to get here in the first place. It would take me at least that to get back. Now, I was tacking on the days that I sat in this place, waiting for an audience with the Elven King. I wondered what might be happening in Lórien. Had they marched back to the borders yet? And if they had, how were my men adjusting to Orophin as their new Captain? I knew he would take great care of my archer regiment, but that did not mean they would be clear of any dangers.

There was a knock at my door, and Corweth entered, her judgmental eyes leering at me. I smiled quite arrogantly and welcomed her in. “My, don’t you look radiant today,” I said smugly.

She ignored me as usual. “The Prince has sent for you. I’m to take you to him.”

I practically jumped from the bed, and realized I was still in my patient robes. “Might I get dressed before–”

She set my folded, cleaned, and newly repaired clothes at the foot of the bed. “I’ll be outside your door,” she informed me, and left.

I hurried to get dressed, grabbed my bow and stepped out. Corweth was there, leaning against the wall, looking quite irritated. “Am I finally going to have my meeting with your King?” I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and blinked slowly. “I wasn’t sent here by the King. Prince Legolas told me to retrieve you, and that is my order.”

“Well, will he be escorting me to the King’s Hall then?”

“You’ll have to ask the Prince,” she responded dryly. I was getting nothing from Corweth.

“You don’t like me very much, do you?” I said after we started walking.

“You’re pompous. You think you are above others, especially Wood elves. And you treat me as if I am your servant.”

I looked over my shoulder to her. “Don’t hold anything back.”

“Speak like that to the King and you’ll be left on your own to get out of the Rhovanion,” she warned.

“And unless your King gives serious consideration to what I have to say, no one will get out of this cursed forest alive,” I countered with my own warning.

Corweth gave me a steely glare, but I could see she was considering my words. It was not the first time she’d thought about her home and her safety, and her twin sister’s at that.

We left the Healer’s Hall, and entered into what looked like the central point of the entire underground system. It was enormously spacious, with multiple levels, stairs, stone bridges, doorways and hallways leading off into all directions. I was reminded of ants all of a sudden. Elves rushed here and there, disappearing into one darkened doorway, and emerging from another further down. It was actually quite beautiful to look at. An entire city was carved beneath the earth, hidden away where no one could see what went on under the hill in the north of the Rhovanion. Still, as magnificent as it seemed, I couldn’t help but feel trapped here. Should the main gates be breached, where would they all go? Where was another way out? My soldier’s instincts took over, and I could imagine the enemy finding these escape doors and hatches, hiding in wait while the orcs stormed the main entrance, burning everything as they went. The smoke would kill most. The orcs would kill the rest. And when the air cleared, the black army would claim Mirkwood as their own. With Dol Guldur in the south, and Mirkwood in the north, they would look to the west … Lothlórien. The Rhovanion and the Golden Woods would be their breeding grounds, and their army would increase tenfold.

“Captain Rúmil!” Corweth shouted. How long had she been calling to me?

“Oh … yes … I’m sorry, you were saying?” I stammered, never hearing a word she said.

She lifted her hand, palm facing upwards, and gestured towards Prince Legolas.

“You seem troubled, Captain. Are you feeling well?”

“Fine … my lord … just fine.”

He bowed to Corweth and gave a smile. “I’ll take our guest from here. Thank you Corweth.”

She returned a bow, and gave me a final glare. Legolas noticed, and when she was gone, he laughed quietly. “You know how to charm a lady, don’t you?”

“I do, my lord, but she is no lady.”

He laughed heartily at that and grasped my shoulder. “I like you more with every comment you make, Captain Rúmil. I should like to share in a meal and a bottle of wine with you later.”

“Well, my lord–”

“I thought I said no titles,” he whispered.

“You said no titles while we were speaking in private. And besides, you have addressed me as Captain. I’ll not disrespect your position as long as you specify my title,” I reminded him.

“Then we shall dine informally,” he insisted.

“I would like that. However, after I speak with your father, I was hoping to start out for home. I’ve been here more days than I care to be … uh … militarily speaking, of course.”

“I hate to disappoint you, but you will not be able to leave until the morning. No one travels the woods at night. So it seems you are stuck with us for one more day.” He seemed to enjoy my torture, as he smiled.

“Very well. Then I look forward to food, wine and conversation tonight. Now, if you don’t mind . . .”

“Of course, Captain. This way.” He gestured to a set of stairs that led to one of the stone bridges. It ended at a dais with an exaggerated throne carved from wood. The seat and back were lined with red, and plush for the King’s comfort. It was a very wide chair. Two people could sit comfortably upon it.

“I was hoping to speak with him privately,” I mentioned before we climbed the stairs.

“Oh, and you will, but my father is in a meeting with some of his captains at the moment. I thought I would give you a tour while we wait. Are you well enough to walk?” he asked politely.

“I get a twinge every once in a while, but I am healed for the most part.” It would actually ease some of the tension I’d built up over meeting with King Thranduil. And I wanted to see more of this underground palace.

It was a very confusing place for an outsider. Legolas and I would climb a set of stairs or cross a bridge, and enter into a dark corridor, only to come out on the other side to a room full of light. That room might have two or three corridors leading from it, and who knew where they went. Sometimes we would enter a hall and come out in the same room, but on the opposite side. If the Prince meant to bewilder me, then he was doing a damn fine job of it.

I saw dining halls, dance halls, laundry rooms and kitchens. There were guest rooms of every kind, and most looked like they hadn’t been occupied in a long time. Mirkwood did not get many visitors, and no one uninvited was allowed to pass beyond the river. I was told that my own guest quarter was ready for me. I actually wished that I could stay in my patient room. At least there was always someone around. The guest area seemed abandoned.

My thoughts of the Healing Halls made me think about the poor elf brought in with the leg injury, and I mentioned this much to Legolas. “How is he?” I inquired.

“He is doing much better, but he will have to undergo another surgery, and then learn to walk with the aid of crutches. Unfortunately, he’ll never fight again,” he said sadly.

“You were very good with him. A sign of a good leader is to have time for his men on a personal level.”

“Ai, so I’ve been taught. I help where I can.” He seemed distant as we discussed his troops.

“You must be a great comfort to your troops on the battlefield.” My comment affected Legolas, as he shied away from the conversation. “Do you not fight alongside your men?” 

We turned another corner and found ourselves in a library. I was actually surprised that Thranduil had one. I couldn’t picture him being an elf with a love of the written word. And all the while, Legolas remained silent. I thought I might have overstepped some boundary, but once we were alone in the library, he opened up to me.

“I fought and trained beside many of the elves that go out there every day. And before the darkness spread, I marched into many battles with them. I want nothing more than to be next to them now.” He turned from me, and ran a finger along the edge of one of the bookcases. “My father will not allow it … for now at least. The risk is too high. You see, I am his only heir. Should something happen to him, I must take over the throne and lead our people to victory.”

“Pardon me, Prince Legolas, but I have heard many stories of your superb archery. No one even comes close to your talent,” I said as a sincere compliment.

He glanced over his shoulder, giving me a half smile. “I thank you, Rúmil. Tis been a very long while since I’ve been reminded of that. I almost forget.”

“A soldier never forgets how to use his weapon, no matter how long it’s been,” I assured him.

Something changed between us, and I could almost hear his blood pumping faster through his veins. We were completely alone, and Legolas shed his royal demeanor for something more relaxed and wanton. There was a dangerous flicker in his eyes.

“And just how long has it been, Rúmil?” he asked, head cocked to the side and his long wheat colored hair spilling over his shoulder.

“Since I fired my weapon?” I said, playing dumb.

“Since you’ve fired anything … your weapon, your cock. I’m not picky as to where this conversation goes.” His satiny voice captured me unexpectedly.

“That’s a bit brash, don’t you think?” I complained. He was very good at the seduction game. I was just surprised that he wanted to seduce me.

“You don’t fool me. I know what you are.”

“And what is that?” I was treading a perilous line.

“You are a risk taker. Your spirit is wild, but you contain it most brilliantly. Still, I can feel something emanating from you, a need for freedom to explore this part of you that you keep isolated.” As he spoke, he came closer to me. I scented his aura, a curious mixture of summer grasses and the fresh winds that swept over them. There was also a feral note intertwined within it, something purely Wood elf. “You hold yourself high like any Lórien elf might do. You are educated, well bred. But this aloofness that you are displaying is not a natural part of your character. It only exists with the visible aspect of your personality, not the internal.”

He was mentally striping me of that in which I hid from everyone, and he was succeeding. “And here we are in private, discussing my character. I’d say you hide it just as well as any Lórien elf,” I said with a smirk. 

“I only speak in private for your benefit, not for mine. You’ve been raised to hide that which comes naturally to you. I have not. Wood elves do not smote the flames that burn within. It is our fire that makes us fierce. And it is your fire that I see burning brighter than any other, but it is contained … trapped deep inside you, nothing more than a flame. But if you were to stoke that fire, let it burn white hot . . .” He paused and gave a deep indecorous laugh. “Well, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you are not that different from a Wood elf.” 

He had me almost ready to release that fire, but I reached far back into my training, to that which I protected most, and let my ire rise in order to cover the truth. “I am nothing like the Wood elves, I assure you of that,” I said defiantly. “I might hide parts of my personal life to keep my secret, but I do it for a good cause. There are very strict rules in the Lórien army that ban what I believe you are suggesting and–”

“Yes, your biggest downfall,” he interrupted. He moved even closer to me, and his cunning smile flashed in my direction. “Soldiers are men only, and men shall not fraternize with one another because it would be … distracting. I disagree with that way of thinking,” he noted. He was standing behind me, and I did not move a muscle.

“It is a rule that I must uphold, no matter my circumstances.”

“But you easily admit that you are inclined to admire the male form,” he said. His breath touched the back of my neck. “Curious how you have no trouble revealing yourself to me.”

“I appreciate many forms. It doesn’t mean I act on my admiration for them.”

I felt his hand lift the hair from my neck. “I guess my next question is … do you want to act upon it?”

I took a step forward and turned to face him. “Are you suggesting that you and I –”

“Since you have brought it up.” His eyes traveled down his own form, settling on his lower region. I understood the innuendo.

“I don’t think that would be … appropriate,” I answered nervously. I could not deny that Legolas was an alluring creature. There were many aspects to his beauty besides his looks. He was bold, unafraid to acknowledge his wants and needs, though I was unsure whether he was used to being denied them. He was honest with himself as well as others, but he had that luxury, didn’t he? I wondered at what life might be like in Mirkwood, where there were no rules against elves of my situation within their army. It didn’t seem to make them any less a soldier. They weren’t rutting like beasts, ignoring any threats from the outside.

But then, the Wood elves would not venture out too far to confront the enemy. They’d been pushed, herded almost, until they were contained to their underground palace. I was reminded of a turtle that sunk into its shell, waiting for the danger to pass before he would come out again. I was sure that the jaw of our enemy was strong enough to crush that shell, and I was reminded of my mission and why I was in Mirkwood in the first place.

“Would you please take me to see your father now? It’s been long enough. I’m sure his meeting is finished.”

“Will you still dine with me tonight, Rúmil? I do enjoy your company,” he asked sincerely.

“I cannot refuse the Prince of Mirkwood, now can I?”

“Well, you could, but it would not bode well for you.”

I couldn’t help a smile escaping the corner of my mouth. He was a charmer to be sure, and I liked playing his game. “Then I accept your invitation wholeheartedly.”

We left the library and made our way along more corridors and a bridge, where we finally came to the King’s meeting chamber, reserved for private audiences only. We entered the room, decorated with detailed tapestries of past battles. Hanging in the center of the room was a candlelight chandelier made from multiple deer antlers. And on a chair near the hearth was a throw made of rabbit pelts. On the floor before the hearth was a bearskin rug, the head still attached and staring towards the door, mouth open, and bearing its canine teeth in a perpetual roar. And on the other side of the room was a long table made of thick wood, carved with leaf patterns that represented the many beech trees that grew within Mirkwood.

I was a bit shocked to see the antlers and animal skins. I’d never known any elves to keep trophies such as these. Legolas must have seen me observing the bear rug in particular. He commented right away. “Nothing is killed for sport, I assure you.”

“I’m sure it is not,” I smiled skeptically. “In Lothlórien, we have better uses for animal hides besides decorating the floor. We would make clothes or boots out of them.”

“Here, the spiders would scent the furs easily,” he said. I could see his point.

I walked around the room, admiring the tapestries. One in particular caught my attention. “The Battle of the Five Armies?” I wondered aloud.

“Yes it is. And this one over here is the Battle of Dagorlad,” he said with pride. “My father and grandfather fought in that war. Only my father returned.”

“It is said that your grandfather fought bravely.” I knew the story well. Oropher was very stubborn and set in his ways. In the first assault on Mordor, he charged into battle before Gil-galad gave the command to do so. It cost Oropher his life, as well as two thirds of his army.

“He was brave and strong, but he was hasty. Had he waited for his orders, there would have been more elves on the battlefield. His life might have been spared.”

“Is it not the way of the Wood elves, to rush headlong into battle?” I asked.

“You make it sound as though we run amuck without any sense of direction or strategy. My grandfather gave his life for the cause.”

“Gil-galad commanded the armies, not Oropher. When your grandfather charged into Mordor, he did so without orders,” I argued. “Had he waited for–”

“We wait for no one,” Legolas responded, clearly irritated by my statement. “And no one commands a Wood elf besides his King.”

I stepped away from the Prince, and spoke before realizing what I’d said. “And you are a prime example of this, otherwise you would be out there fighting alongside your people.”

I was positive that I was going to be sent to the cells this time. I don’t know what came over me when I got into these discussions with the Prince, but it was as if I wanted to raise his dander and test him. It angered me that he was such a remarkable talent, but he was being held back, locked away like one of his father’s precious jewels. I began to wonder if Haldir made the right decision by sending me here. If he thought I would be able to get through to the King, he might end up disappointed.

Legolas’ brows had creased together, and his eyes had turned to dagger-filled slits. I thought it was safe to assume that our dinner arrangements were canceled. All fine and well with me. I’d deliver my message to King Thranduil, tell him it was his duty to join in an attack upon Dol Guldur, and whatever else we might discuss, and in the morning, I’d be on my way back to Lothlórien.

I waited for Legolas to respond to my unwise statement. He glared at me, and I did not back down or look away. Just when it seemed he was about to say something, there came a knock on the door. Both of us turned to look, and Legolas beckoned the visitor in. It was a messenger, sent by the King.

“Prince Legolas, your father has sent me to inform you of his whereabouts,” the messenger said.

“Why? Where is the King?”

“He has decided it would be best for him to respond to a few situations in person. He said not to expect him to return for several more days. You are to rule in his absence.”

I stepped forward and addressed the messenger. “But I’ve requested an audience with your King. We were to meet here.”

The messenger, a slight elf with long auburn hair, smiled arrogantly, and gave a bow of his head in my direction. “Captain Rúmil of Lothlórien, I presume. I’m sure His Grace will apologize for any inconvenience he has caused. If you must return to Lothlórien, I’m sure you may do so tomorrow morning.”

“However,” Legolas interrupted suddenly. “If he wishes to wait, he is more than welcome to stay as my guest, and I shall see to it that he has everything he needs to make himself comfortable.” He turned to me, hands folded behind his back, taking his new role as ruler seriously. “But the Captain has voiced his concern about the length of his stay already, and he is anxious to return home,” said Legolas speaking for me as though I wasn’t in the room. He knew how badly I wanted to leave, and after our small disagreement, I was sure he was glad to see me go. But I was not about to be forced out.

“Shall I prepare your departure for tomorrow morning, Captain?” the messenger asked.

I could stay, wait for the King to return, take a chance that he would refuse to do his part in this war, and waste a week in which I could have been traveling back home. Or, I could finally get out of this forsaken place. Haldir would not be pleased. No doubt, if he were in this situation, he would stay. He would say I did not try hard enough, and he’d be right. No, I couldn’t leave, not yet. I never did anything half-arsed, and no pretty blue-eyed Prince would chase me away.

“I’ll be staying until I speak with the King,” I firmly told the messenger. I could feel Legolas’ eyes upon me, and they were not looking upon me with kindness.

“Escort Captain Rúmil to the guest quarters, and see that a meal is sent to his room,” Legolas commanded, and then in a hushed whisper he added, “I doubt he will want to dine with us heathens.”

I left with the messenger and did not look back. I smiled to myself, though. I guess no one had ever stood up to the Prince before, and I knew he would not have been so angry if he didn’t already think that I was right about his father holding him back. Deep down, he knew this. He knew his talent was being wasted, sitting beneath the ground day after day while his friends risked their lives. I may have to live two separate lives and hide my secret, but at least I was not being held back from doing what I loved most. The same could not be said for Legolas. He had the freedom of living without fear of discovery, but he was burdened by his royal blood when it came to fighting. I guess he was right to say that we had a lot more in common than we thought.


	3. Chapter 3

I laid in my new bed in a room somewhere down the empty guest quarters hall, surrounded by darkness, buried beneath the earth. I wondered if this was what it would feel like to die, to be set in a grave. Would my body know the coldness of stone or the loneliness of the dark? Would my fëa dwell here until it was called to Mandos? Maybe, if I died before I could sail West. Did it matter how I died as to whether my fëa would leave the body quickly or be left to flutter about waiting for permission to leave the vessel’s side? If that was true, I’d pray for a valiant end, to die in war and sacrifice myself so my fëa would depart immediately. Always the soldier, I thought to myself.

I was a guest of the King and of the acting King, and therefore, I was given permission to wander about certain areas of the palace. I thought that I would not, to only go where I was summoned to go, but my stomach complained quite loudly at this late hour. I’d been awake for too long and I’d grown hungry. Supper came to my room just as the Prince had ordered. It was scrumptious, even though it was only seasoned vegetables and a bowl of broth. I was sure Legolas was responsible for the choice brought to me. No meat, curious, especially after I looked distastefully at the unusual use of animal decor in the Kings audience chamber. He must have assumed that Lórien elves did not eat meat, which was completely untrue. Of course, it could have been ordered purposefully. That seemed more likely to me. Legolas couldn’t deny me food, but he could send me whatever he preferred. No matter. It would take more than a boring meal to chase me away. I came to Mirkwood for a reason, and I would not leave until my task was completed.

I got out of bed and dressed, only putting on my leggings and undershirt. The shirt was long enough. It resembled nightclothes, if anyone should be about the palace at this time of night. I slipped into my boots and left my room in search of food so that I could possibly go back to sleep. I never could sleep on an empty stomach. It was the reason I always kept a leaf-wrapped bundle of lembas with me. But it had spoiled long before I reached the palace, a moldy victim of the humid forest environment.

I somehow managed to find my way to the kitchen. Legolas had brought me here during our tour. I knew it wasn’t far from the main hall. I just had to remember which corridor to take in order to find it. Success was quick, and I found myself in a deserted kitchen. The pots were all clean and hanging in their proper places. The stoves were cold, the fires having gone out hours ago.

It was a very big room, the kitchen. One wall had shelves from floor to ceiling. Boxes, jars, bottles, and a number of miscellaneous items were housed here. Other shelves held smaller pots and pans, a few larger cooking utensils, baskets and dishes for serving. The wall opposite was where the fireplaces, wood burning stoves and fire pits were situated. And in the very center of the kitchen was a long wooden table where the meals were prepared. It was worn with knife marks and berry stains, and places where it had been scoured from multiple cleanings. Drying herbs hung above the table, where there was a grid of wooden dowels used for hanging the different plants. It smelled delicious; sage, lavender, rosemary, and thyme just to name a few.

I walked around the table, stacked with bowls, baskets, and cutting boards, and looked for any leftovers. They were all clean and emptied of their contents from the earlier dinner service. Not even a roll was left. The cooks were very thorough in their cleaning skills. My stomach complained audibly with disappointment.

“Looking for something to eat?” I heard him say. I turned and found Legolas in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing dark green leggings and a half-buttoned shirt. He leaned against the frame, one barefoot crossed over the other, and his arms folded. He wore no braids in his hair, and it spilled over his shoulders, framing his handsome face. His eyes looked over me with softness, not like the sharp slits they had been the last time we spoke. “Did you not find your meal enjoyable?”

“I did, though it was lacking sustenance. A few slices of venison or wild boar might have sufficed,” I answered.

“Which do you prefer?” he asked, head tilting to the side, and his eyes fixed on me.

“I’ve always leaned more toward venison myself. And you?”

“Venison is delicious, but nothing compares to a properly cooked boar. I like a meat that I can … sink my teeth into.” He was doing it again, making small talk while implying something more salacious. “You won’t find any meat here, though.”

“I haven’t found much of anything here,” I said, looking around the well-organized kitchen.

“Oh, there’s food here. You just have to know where to look.” He walked over to one of the shelves and stepped up on the third one from the floor, stretched as far as he could, and retrieved a basket. His frame was long and slim, but his upper body and arms definitely gave away his occupation, an archer’s physique for sure. “The cook always keeps something up here,” he said, lowering the basket, and handing it to me.

“How did you know?” I smiled, seeing five or six large red apples inside.

“When I was just an elfling, I spent a lot of time in the kitchens. I learned the cook’s secret by watching her. She would save the first loaf of a batch of bread, or the first pears from a fresh barrel. One time I found sweet rolls,” he explained, reaching back to the memories of his youth.

“Why would she hide food?” I asked. It seemed like an odd thing for a cook to do when there was always food available.

“Stems back to when she was small. Her mother and father were killed, and she was orphaned, forced to live alone in the wild, scrounging for anything edible. It’s a habit she was never able to break free of.”

“Sounds awful,” I sympathized.

“Well, it was awful for me when she found out what I’d been up too. Reveth, the cook, she scolded me something terrible the first time she caught me climbing the shelf and raiding her cache of food. Of course, I didn’t pay her any mind. I kept right on doing it.” He climbed back down as he told me his story, and took the basket from me, setting it on the table. Then he retrieved two apples from the basket and tossed one to me, continuing his tale. “And then one day, my mother died, and I stopped coming to the kitchen. I stopped going anywhere, stayed safely tucked away in my room, by order of my father, the King. He was terrified that something was coming for me too.” He paused from his story, and I could see the renewed pain lacing his face.

“I remember hearing the news about your mother. We sang a lament for her in Lothlórien.”

“I never knew that,” he said.

I nodded. “I remember it quite clearly. My mother sailed not but a year before. I was so young, I did not understand, and I thought they were singing for her, to remember her.” I wasn’t sure why I was telling the Prince this, but something compelled me to. “When I asked my father, he explained it to me, told me it was the Queen of the Green Leaves that passed.” I realized that I was taking the storytelling away from him and stopped. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to change–”

“No, it’s quite alright. You suffered a loss too,” he interrupted with a caring look in my direction.

“I wouldn’t say it was a loss, not like yours. My mother awaits her family in Valinor.”

“She was not there for you as you grew and matured. I would say that is a loss of proportionate size,” Legolas pointed out.

We were silent for a moment, and we broke the quiet by taking a few more bites of our apples. The sweet crispy fruit seemed to distract us from our sadness, and I suddenly wanted to know more about this cook and little Prince Legolas. “So, you are all grown up, and Reveth still fills her basket,” I said in a jesting manor. 

“As I was saying, after I lost my mother, I think she felt sorry for me. Or maybe it reminded her of her own loss and hardship. I eventually came out of my room, once my father felt the danger had passed, but I did not climb the shelf anymore. I sat in that corner,” he said, pointing to the end of the wall with the shelves. There was an overturned bucket, probably used to mop the floors. “I was so lost during those first months without my mother. Anyways, one day, Reveth took me aside and asked me to retrieve something for her. It was inside the same basket where she used to hide her food. I climbed and reached inside, and I found an apple as well as a drawing of my mother, the Queen. Reveth drew it, and told me to never forget my mother, her teachings, or what she stood for. And that there would always be food for me in that basket.” He smiled at the memory. “And there always is.”

“You are very fortunate to have Reveth,” I said. “But why were you always in the kitchen? Didn’t you have a nanny to care for you when your father was away or too busy?”

“I had teachers and tutors, but no nanny. There was always someone by my side telling me what to do or how to do it. One taught swordplay, and another taught archery. One taught me to sing, and another taught me to read and write. But Reveth, she never taught me anything like that. She gave me life lessons … how to carry myself and be aware of my manners, how to behave like a proper gentleman, how to gain and keep an elleth’s attention . . .”

“You must not have listened very well to that one,” I jested.

He laughed and took a bite of his apple. I was shamelessly half way through with mine. “I paid attention, but I put my own version of it into play once I was older. How to charm an ellon, not much different from influencing a female, if you know the right things to say.”

“I’d say you’re still learning,” I said boldly.

He took another bite, and his eyes penetrated my own. “Are you offering your tutoring services?” A sly smile turned the corner of his mouth as he chewed. “Tell me, what I have done wrong when trying to gain an ellon’s attention.”

Embarrassed, I shook my head and looked away. “I don’t think I’m qualified to say.”

“You’ve had lovers, haven’t you?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Relationships?”

“Only two,” I answered.

“So what drew you to them that made you want to have a special bond rather than a meaningless fling?” he asked with enthusiasm. “Was it looks? Wealth? The size of his cock?” he laughed.

“Personality,” I answered without waiting. “We were compatible. We understood each other. We respected one another.”

“Interesting,” he said, setting his half eaten apple on the table. “If you were so compatible, then why are they gone?”

I bowed my head and looked at the floor, defeated by his line of questioning. “Because my love of being a soldier always comes first.”

“Ah, the army thing again,” Legolas said, nodding. “Funny isn’t it? One wants to fuck and chooses to fight. The other wants to fight and chooses to fuck.”

“It’s not really your choice, though, is it? Not when your father orders you to stay within the palace.”

“Oh, so now it is my father’s orders. Yesterday, you made it seem as though I hid underground instead of fighting with my people,” he said with temper beginning to flare.

I remembered what I said to him before and felt ashamed. “Our conversation yesterday went a bit astray, and I apologize for my comments. They were uncalled for.”

There was a flash of relief on his face to hear me say this, but it disappeared faster than it came, and he waved a hand in the air. “No need. Actually, I’m glad for it. You are an outsider looking in. You see things for what they are, and you’re right. I am following my father’s orders. I’m supposed to. It doesn’t mean I like it, but I must.”

I took a step closer to Legolas, coming to his side, and I put my hand on his shoulder. “Thranduil is King, but he is your father first. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Tell him you want to join the battle.”

“If it was that easy, I would have done it already. No, this is more than wanting to protect his only heir. This is punishment for a poor decision I made recently.” He turned to me with a forced smile. “But enough about me. You know you do not have to stay. Obviously you do not like it here. With my father away on business, and I left in charge of the kingdom, you could hold an audience with me, as acting King, and be on your way at first light.”

I hadn’t thought about that. He was right. I did want to leave, but I found myself drawn to this place all of a sudden. I’d learned a few of its secrets, and saw a glimmer of hope that I might convince King Thranduil to join Lothlórien in a war against Dol Guldur. And I thought I could do this by using his son to help him come to a decision. “Actually, it will be more beneficial if I speak directly to you father, since he has a final say in all matters concerning his kingdom. No offence to you, Prince Legolas.”

“None taken, and allow me to apologize for your meager meal earlier. I’m afraid that was my fault,” he said sincerely.

“A clean slate, they say, for us both,” I said and bowed.

“Remember, none of that while we are speaking casually,” he corrected, taking my elbow and gesturing for me to straighten. His fingers dwelt on my arm unusually long, but I found myself liking the feel of his touch. I couldn’t, though. He was the King’s son, the son of the elf I needed to convince to fight for the realm. No, I had to be careful how I interacted with Legolas. I pulled away and left his hand cupping the air. He watched me curiously, and then turned away. “Have I satisfied you?” he asked.

“Pardon?” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

Legolas glanced over his shoulder, blue eyes sparkling with some naughty thought. “The apple, was it enough or shall I acquire something else for you.”

“Oh,” I said with a sigh of relief. “Yes, the apple was just fine. I believe I’ll be able to sleep now.”

“And if you find that you cannot, don’t hesitate to knock on my door.”

I wondered when he was going to try that again. “Alas, I do not know where the Prince’s quarters are located. That part of the palace was not on the tour, if you remember.”

“Well, perhaps the next time sleep evades you–”

“I’ll know where the apples are hidden,” I said slyly, finishing his sentence.

He gave a chuckle and left the kitchen.

* * * * *

The next day, I showed myself around the underground palace, and somehow managed to find someplace new. What I thought was a corridor leading to the armory, emptied into a huge, brightly lit garden. I was shocked to see it. I didn’t think anything could be grown underground, but here it was right in front of me. There was row after row of herbs and vegetables, fruit trees and grape vines. Everything needed to sustain life under a hill in a dark forest was growing in this one place.

“Captain Rúmil, how good to see you again.” It was Messel. I hadn’t seen here since I was bound to my bed in the Healing Hall.

“You are a lovely sight this morning, Messel,” I replied with a proper bow.

“And how is your leg?” she asked with a bright smile.

“Almost completely healed. I saw the healer earlier, and she redressed the wound. I won’t need dressing the next time she sees me, she says. Delightful news to my ears. Those bandages begin to itch after a while.” I looked around the grand room with awe. “This is incredible. I had no idea it even existed. Tell me, how do you get the light to touch the entire floor?” In the ceiling, above the center of the room was an opening to the outside. Sunlight could shine down to the floor of the cave, but I couldn’t understand how it spread throughout the room.

“We use large mirrors, not unlike a lady’s looking glass that she might keep on her vanity. They capture and reflect the light from above, and send it in all directions. We can turn them to direct the light anywhere we want it to go. Or, like you see here, it delivers light evenly across the entire room.”

“What an ingenious design,” I said, stunned. “But what about the opening. Doesn’t it leave you vulnerable to attack?”

“There are guards always stationed above. Any sign of the enemy, and they can signal to the gardeners below. There is a door that can be closed by the elves turning those big wheels,” Messel said as she pointed in the direction of the wooden wheels. “In only a few short minutes, the ceiling can be sealed. No light can pass, of course, but as soon as the threat is gone, the door is opened back up. We are very lucky that there has only been one such threat, but the guards extinguished it quickly, and the doors were not closed for very long.”

“Amazing. Simply amazing,” I gawked.

“You sound surprised, Captain. Did you not think that the Wood elves could invent something as useful and secure as this?”

“Well … I … I don’t know. I guess I never thought about it before. I just assumed there were gardens above ground.”

“There used to be, many years ago, but the threat from the enemy has become much too great to risk the lives of our farmers.”

We strolled down several aisles, and I took note of all the different types of food growing, peppers, tomatoes, lettuces, and corn, just to name a few.

“You must miss the topside world,” she stated after a while.

“I do, Messel, the trees in particular,” I said longingly.

“Then we must go outside, and cure what ails you. Come with me. I’ll show you to the practice grounds.”

My heart raced at the thought of shooting my bow. “Let me stop by my guest quarters first, so that I can grab my weapon.”

“Of course,” Messel smiled, and we were on our way.

* * * * *

Top side, at last. The air was a bit humid, but at this point I could care less. I was outside … above ground, and it was wonderful. Trees grew all around us. Not the gnarled diseased trees that grew in the dark parts of the forest, but healthy trees, beech, cedar, oak. The sunlight cut through the canopy, making beams that touched my skin, warming me instantly, filling me with delight. I hadn’t been outside in over a week, and I didn’t realize until now just how much I missed it.

“Where are the practice grounds?” I asked.

“Not far,” Messel said as we walked along a path cutting through the forest. After a little while, it opened up into a glade. The ground was flat here, no longer sloping where the hill was. I guessed we had left the palace behind, and we were now in the area surrounding the underground kingdom.

There was a group of Wood elves on the opposite side of the area, standing in a row, looking to their right as they listened to the advice of none other than the Prince. He spoke with the intensity of one who loved the sport, and so he should. He was the best in all the realms, but I had never had the opportunity to see his talent until now.

Legolas took his position in front of the targets, all the while telling the others what to pay attention to. He nocked an arrow, aimed and hit his target dead center. He did this all in one swift move, not even stopping to line up his aim. Then he did it twice more, talking to his men as he fired one after another. It seemed he barely even looked at where he was firing, and hit center each time. When he was through giving his example, he turned the others loose to practice on their own for a while. The Prince’s attention then turned towards Messel and me. He smiled and approached, and his eyes caught mine.

“You’ve arrived at the perfect time, Captain,” he said, using my proper title in front of the other elves. “The men will be busy for a while, and I see that you’ve brought your bow. What do you say we have a little target practice of our own?”

“I’d like that very much, Prince Legolas,” I responded.

“I’m sorry my Prince, but I must get back to my sister. We have some business to tend to. Hopefully next time I might join you,” said Messel disappointedly.

“Perhaps next time you and your sister might join me,” Legolas said, but his tone suggested something other than target practice. It made me wonder.

Messel, raised a skeptical brow, but she turned to me instead. “Shall I come back and escort you to your quarters when you are finished, Captain? It is easy to lose your way around the corridors.”

“I’ll bring him,” Legolas answered quickly. “I’m done with the men for the day, and I have some free time.”

“Very well,” Messel answered. “Captain, as usual, it is a pleasure.” She turned to Legolas. “My Prince,” she finished with a bow.

Legolas watched her walk away, a sly look on his face that surprised me. “If I were any other kind of elf . . .” He did not finish the sentence, but I understood what he meant. Just because we preferred males to females did not mean we couldn’t appreciate the beauty of a woman, and Messel was a definite beauty.

“And she is a twin,” I added.

He looked at me, his eyes dancing with amusement. “You know something about twins?”

“Not … from … personal experience,” I stammered.

Legolas began walking away from the group of practicing elves, and I followed. “For a moment, I thought you might have been to Imladris before.” He looked over his shoulder at me with a sly grin. “If you should ever go there, be very wary of Lord Elrond’s sons.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, unsure of what he meant by that comment, and very curious all the same.

On the other side of the grounds was another practice area, with dummies made to look like orcs. It was a good likeness, I thought. I’d seen my fair share of the beasts to know.

“So, you are the Captain of an archery regiment, sent in before the other troops to minimize the number of enemies on the front lines. Is that correct?” he asked as we stood before the dummies.

“That would right. We attack from the trees, mostly. Hit the enemy with a downpour of arrows, and while they are distracted, disoriented, and dying, the ground troops run in.”

“Interesting method. And successful?” he wondered.

“Very, my lord.” He seemed to wince at the way I addressed him, but rules were rules, and we were not alone.

“Let’s see what you’ve got, then.” He gestured for me to take my turn first. I nodded and took my bow from my back. Legolas went and retrieved a wooden bucket of arrows, and set it at my feet. “Wouldn’t want you wasting any of your well-made Lórien arrows. You’ll need them when you leave Mirkwood.”

I looked at the practice arrows, and I was dissatisfied with their quality. It would be difficult to show my talents with these used and bent sticks. Now, why would Legolas want me to use them … unless he feared that I might actually come close to his own natural ability? What had he heard about me, and from whom? It could only be Haldir, who had been to Mirkwood half a dozen times over the years. That made me curious as to what else they might have discussed during those visits, especially if my brother spoke of his family on a personal level.

“Any time you’re ready, Captain,” Legolas said, breaking my thoughts.

I pushed the bucket aside with my foot and smiled kindly to the Prince. “If it’s all the same to you, I’ll just use my own arrows. I can always make more for the journey home.”

“As you wish,” Legolas answered, and he moved away to give me enough personal space to ready my mind and my body for archery.

I cleared my head of anything but my goal to hit the enemy where it would bring instant death. I took my position, adjusted my stance, my back, and my legs, reached into my quiver and nocked an arrow. Elbow up, arm straight, pull back, feel the right amount of tension in the strings, aim, breathe out and . . . Just as I hoped for, right through the heart of the beast dummy.

“Excellent death shot,” Legolas said sounding impressed. “My turn.” He took his place, drew his bow and an arrow from his quiver, and fired hitting it right between the eyes. His moves were so swift, yet smooth like a dance. I almost didn’t see him looking at his target. “Now, aim to deprive him of death,” he said.

“Pardon?” I asked.

“Let’s say you only want to impair him so you can interrogate him as your prisoner,” Legolas explained.

“And why would I want to do that?”

Legolas rolled his eyes. “You soldiers are all alike. Kill, kill, kill. But there are times when information must be drawn from the enemy. Where do you shoot him?”

He was testing me. Fine, I would play his game. I moved faster than I did the first time, and pulled another arrow from my quiver, nocked it to the bow and fired into the leg. Then I quickly repeated my actions, burying my arrow into the other leg. I smiled, proud of my choice. “Alive and immobile.”

“Not bad, Captain, but now you will have to interrogate him where he lay, since he cannot walk. And in Mirkwood, it is never a good idea to stay in one place for very long.” He took two used arrows from the bucket and nocked them. Then he gave a clever smile. “Watch this,” he whispered.

Legolas stood with his feet apart, back straight, elbow up and parallel with the ground. As he brought his arm back, I could see his biceps tense. He would have to pull back further than normal in order to fire two arrows at once. He aimed at the practice dummy, but then he raised his bow at an angle. When he did that, I couldn’t help but notice how long and straight his body was. He had perfect form. No wonder he was the best. I was so enthralled just watching him line up his shot, I almost missed said shot. Still, he was using a pair of worn arrows, and I could clearly see that they had a slight bend in the shaft. This would never work, I thought to myself. The arrows were useless. He’d be lucky to hit anything but the ground. And then, he released both arrows at once. They flew upwards, crisscrossed and came down in perfect synchronicity, striking the dummy in each shoulder. I was truly amazed by what I’d just seen. I was speechless for a moment.

Legolas turned to me, confidence brimming. There was something about an extremely confident ellon that made my blood pulse faster through my veins, and Legolas reeked of it. “You see, Captain. An injury like that leaves your captive free to walk, but he can’t use his arms. That way he cannot fight back as he is taken into custody. The arrows in the shoulders are also good for forcing the information from him if he won’t talk. It is a very painful injury, especially when the arrows are moved about. Renders his arms utterly useless, but the pain is excruciating. Just a twist, and he’ll give you the name of every piece of scum in his army.”

I hardly heard what he said. I was still astounded by the fact that he’d used arrows that weren’t even fit to pick my teeth with. “We … don’t usually … interrogate . . .” I stammered, but my words faded as I walked up to the dummy to examine it more closely. “These arrows are bent.”

“Yes. And?” he said nonchalantly.

“And they … well you…” I pointed upwards, and then downwards, my finger ending at the entry wound. “They crossed and . . .” I looked back to see Legolas smiling, his white teeth glimmering and his eyes alive with joy. I think it had been a very long time since he’d impressed someone new.

“Another lesson for you, Captain. Use what you’ve got and make the best of it.”

“Will you show me how you did that?” I felt like I was an elfling again, just learning to fire my bow.

He laughed and called me back to him. I walked at a fast pace, ready for my first lesson. Then he took two arrows from the bucket and handed them to me. These were just like the ones he shot, bent, notched along the shaft, and even blunt at their tips. They looked utterly useless.

“The idea is to make them work for you. You know a bent arrow never flies straight, but you can still force it to work to your advantage.” He took one of the arrows from me and pulled a small knife from his belt. As he did so, he pushed aside the dark green robe he wore, and I could see the outline of his waist because of his snug-fitting tunic. He was very lean. Legolas proceeded to run the sharp knife along the edge of one side of the yellow fletching, reshaping it. He held it to his eye, looking down the shaft of the arrow, and then handed it back to me. “Do you see what I did?”

I looked down the arrow’s shaft, and noticed the bend and the adjustment to the fletching. “It counters the bend?” I asked, one eye closed as I examined it.

“Exactly. And it is also important to hold the arrows to the bow so that they bend away from each other.”

I nocked both arrows to my bow, and thought about what position to put them in. I’d shot countless double arrows in my lifetime. That much I knew to do, but firing bent arrows? That was confusing me.

“Here, let me show you,” said the Prince, coming up behind me. His body contoured to mine, and his hands rested on my forearms. “Turn them so they are bending away from the string,” he said. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my ear. Ignoring as best as I could, I adjusted the arrows.

“This does not feel right,” I said.

“It’s not supposed to. You’re using arrows that should have been turned into kindling.” His hand traveled down the length of my arm to my hand, and his face came up next to mine. “If the arrows are pointed inwards, they would nick each other. If they face up, they might come back to you, and that would be a very bad thing. Turn them downward and they’ll hit ground. But turn them out and away from each other … and now look at the fletching where I shaped it.”

I did as he said and suddenly I understood the flight of the arrows. “They’ll turn away, and then they’ll start to spin, but the fletching will steady them.”

“And they’ll crisscross and come down straight,” he finished explaining. “That’s why you want to aim the bow up at an angle.” His hands left mine, but they found their way to my sides as he adjusted my stance. “Use your lower back,” he said. One hand came to rest at the small of my back. “And tighten your abdominal muscles.” His other hand pressed against my lower stomach, and he made a grunting sound. “You are very firm, Captain,” he commented.

I did my best to keep my composure, but it was difficult with Legolas touching me in places that were very close to parts of me that hadn’t been touched in more than a year. There was no denying the charge I felt from the contact.

“Now,” he continued. “Hold your waist steady, lift your aim up.” His hands left my waist and took hold of my biceps. I noticed that his grip was tight, as though he was examining me. I automatically flexed, hoping he was impressed, and heard the slightest of moans, though I could have been wrong. “A little further. Good. Now, pull back, gently … gently.”

“It’s difficult to hold the arrows in this position for very long,” I commented, feeling like a new recruit. It had been a few centuries since anyone gave me a lesson by example. “I mean, because they are curved. It feels unnatural.”

“That’s the thing, Captain. Everything you do should feel natural to you. You don’t let something control you. You control it. You make it do whatever you want it to do.” His voice was like satin. His breath was caressing my ear and my neck. Suddenly, I’d stay in this position all day just to hear him speak and feel his words wash over my skin. And just like that, Legolas released me from his trance and his grip. He stepped away from me and spoke with authority. “Now fire.”

I lined my vision with the angle at which I held my bow, and saw nothing but trees. I knew the target was out of my sights, and I had to trust that my arrows would land where they needed to go. Feeling like I was firing blind, I released the string and watched as the bent arrows flew up, crisscrossed, and came down hitting the dirt at either side of the practice dummy. I’d missed the shot completely.

Legolas laughed from behind me, and then he clapped a hand to my shoulder. “That’s alright, Captain. No one does it on their first try. Takes a long time to achieve that shot,” he said mockingly.

So, that was his reason for all of this. He wanted to see me fail at something, and he knew there was not much I could not achieve, since I was well trained in archery, and a Captain at that. I knew what he’d shown me as an actual technique, and I understood everything he told me. But he distracted me with his suggestive voice, and the intimacy of his warm breath. And now look at him, puffing like a peacock. Just like a Wood elf to play dirty. Well, I was not about to let him get one over on me. I could make that shot. He’d given me all the tools. I just needed to put them together in the right order.

Legolas was walking back to the elves at the other end of the practice grounds, and I noticed that the men hadn’t been practicing all this time. They’d been watching us. I gasped internally, feeling my stomach clench tight, as I thought about what it must have looked like, having the Prince touching me, pressing his body against mine. Instinct told me to worry about the outcome of such intimacy, and I had to remind myself that I was in Mirkwood where no one cared if you rutted on the ground before the King and his court. They probably liked to watch, I said as an afterthought in my anger at the arrogant Prince.

Instead of following him, I turned back to the practice dummies and went straight to the bucket of used arrows. I found two that looked horribly unusable and pulled my knife from my boot. I shaved the yellow feathers of the fletching, just like he showed me. All the while, I could hear Legolas’ men tell him to turn, that I was going back for a second try.

“You’re wasting your time, Captain Rúmil. You’ll never make that shot. Took me months to perfect it and I was the quickest to learn,” he called to me.

I ignored him and continued with my task. Maybe I wouldn’t hit the target, but damn it, no one tricked me like this, especially not a Wood elf. I was raised proper, to help when help was needed, not to set someone up for failure, and then laugh at them. These Mirkwood elves lacked manners and an understanding for the world outside of their caves. They spoke offensively without knowledge of doing so, or perhaps that’s what they wanted everyone to think. They were ignorant and uneducated. And none other than the Prince himself was pissing me off to a degree that no one ever had … for lack of better words. He’d made me just that mad.

Finished with the arrows, I took my position, adjusted my stance, nocked both arrows correctly, straightened, felt the heat of Legolas’ handprint still touching my back and stomach, and realized that the focus of my anger was not for playing me as a fool. It was for liking the feel of his hands on me, for internally swooning to the sound of his voice and the suggestive innuendos behind his words. I was angry at myself for wanting him.

“Fuck!” I said in a berating whisper to myself. I tried to unlearn the sensations, but it was too late. Prince Legolas had touched my lust, and I could not take that back. All I could do now was to stay true to myself. I was an elf of Lothlórien. I would not let some Wood elf have his way with me. I knew what he was about now, and I’d build my defenses to ward him off at every turn. A week, the messenger had said about the return of King Thranduil. Just a few more days in this deplorable kingdom of darkness and heathens, and I could leave and never return. How in Mordor was Haldir able to come back here? He was more tolerable than I would ever be, I’d give him that. Or . . .

Or was he seduced by the Prince also. Did Legolas try the same tactics on my brother? I laughed. Haldir would never give in so easily. But then again, he had been to Mirkwood six times. I shook my head of such thoughts. “Ridiculous,” I said. “Now, make this shot or look like an even bigger fool, Rúmil.”

I pulled my arm back, tilted the bow up, closed my eyes and said a quick prayer to the Valar. Then I released my arrows and watched them fly. They crossed each other, came down towards the dummy and . . .

The left arrow sunk into the ground just behind the dummy, but the right one hit it in the upper arm. It wasn’t the shoulder, but it was a hit nonetheless. I did it! Well, only one arrow, but I did it. About this time, I realized that I wasn’t breathing and took a gulping breath of moisture filled air. The ringing in my ears dissipated, and I heard the cheers from the other elves. I turned to shoot them an arrogant look, and found Prince Legolas coming towards me at a quick pace. When he was just a few strides away, I straightened my shoulders to look down my nose at him. “What do you have to say to that?” I gloated.

He never slowed his tread as he approached. He was not smiling, nor did he look like he was going to congratulate me. Was he angry? Was he going to pull his knife on me? I braced myself for whatever was going on in his mind. He was just about upon me, and I was sure he was going to punch me. I raised my hands in fists, prepared for him to strike me. Instead, he pushed my hands away and grasped the front of my tunic, pulling me to him. His face was only an inch from mine. His blue eyes had darkened like the sky when it is about to storm. His brows were drawn together. He looked dangerous, unpredictable, and fierce.

“Come on then! Do something!” I challenged, prepared for anything except for what was about to happen.

Legolas captured me with those stormy lust raging eyes. “You, Rúmil, are never afraid to break the rules, fearless when challenged, and, by the gods, I want you. I’ve wanted you since I first laid eyes upon you.” Before I knew it, he was kissing me. His lips were hard and demanding. He devoured my mouth, insistently pushing his tongue between my lips. His body pressed against mine, and I felt his urgency, as solid as an iron rod against my thigh. He pushed me backwards until he had me up against a tree, grinding his hips into mine. Legolas was as uncontrollable as a wildfire, and his skin was a hot as one. Sweet Eru, he felt as though he’d stepped out of the flames of Mount Doom, and it made my own body heat and respond. I couldn’t think straight, and I started to give into his persistence when I heard whoops and hollers coming from the other elves.

To say I was embarrassed was an understatement. I was mortified. I was bloody angry for being taken advantage of. And I had a cockstand that felt like the size of an oliphant’s trunk. Legolas had me braced against the tree, my arms locked in his grasp. I needed to get free, so I quit resisting him and started moving along to his gyrating hips. His hands slowly slipped down my arms, reaching for the belt at my waist. The fingers of one hand brushed against my leggings, traveling along the length of my swollen cock. My hips bucked involuntarily, and he smiled against my lips, proud to have produced such a reaction from me. I used the small window of opportunity when he left my arms free to move, clenched my hand into a tight fist, swung up and caught him in the stomach. Legolas doubled and pushed away from me. He was shocked at my reaction, and so was I, because somewhere deep down, I didn’t want him to stop. It was all so confusing.

At the same moment, the party of onlookers stopped laughing and crowing. Now I heard arrows being pulled from quivers, strings being stretched, and feet marching towards Legolas to protect him. That’s when I realized that I’d punched their Prince. No one assaulted royalty that didn’t end up in a cell. That’s it. I was going to be arrested.

Without turning to his men, Legolas held up a hand to stop them. “I’m alright,” he called to them, and they stayed put halfway across the field.

“No one hits the King’s son,” one of them answered. I watched as they started to come forward again, each set of eyes trained on me.

“I said I am fine. Leave us,” Legolas commanded.

“But–”

“Go!” the Prince demanded, cutting short the elf who argued. Reluctantly, the group of elves left the training grounds. 

We stood there, facing each other, but unable to look at one another, until we were completely alone. I knew I must apologize. I should never have hit him, but my mind and my emotions were such a jumbled mess. Eventually, I straightened my tunic where Legolas had pulled it out of my belt. As I did, I used the opportunity to speak. “I … I sincerely apologize, my lord. That was uncalled for. I should never have struck out at you.”

“It … it’s not your fault. I was wrong to … I should not have … but … Valar as my witness, I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’re an elf of Lothlórien. I’m not supposed to want you. I’m not even supposed to like you. And … and then you . . .” His words faded into silence.

I could feel the power shifting between us, and I used it to my advantage. “I defied you. You challenged me and I passed the test. I proved you wrong. I surpassed you at something. Admit it, Legolas, you wanted to punch me for showing you up in front of your men. I bested you at something that you were good at … the only elf to accomplish it, and I matched your skill.”

“Something like that,” he responded with a small smile at the corner of his mouth. “I don’t know what it is about you, but you come here acting all high and mighty like every elf from Lothlórien thinks they are when compared to the Wood elves. I expected it, to be truthful. Your brother reeks of arrogance towards Wood elves. You try to behave like Haldir, but you’re nothing like him. There’s something untamable simmering just below your surface, and I feel like it is my duty to release this beast. I felt it just now as I kissed you. I felt it even more when you punched me. It’s all right there, Rúmil, and I can be the one who sets it free. And to know how close I am to unleashing you sets me aflame.”

“I’m sorry … but … I can’t. I can’t have anything to do with you.”

“Why?” he argued. “You are not bound. You are not betrothed.”

“But I am not free,” I admitted. My own words shocked me. I hadn’t expected to say this, but now that I had, I saw clearer, the reason why.

“There is someone else, isn’t there?” he asked. He almost sounded angry.

“There is … well … there was, but–”

“What stops you, Rúmil?”

I searched deep in my soul for the answer that had alluded me for more than a year now. Here it was, staring me in the face, demanding that I acknowledge it. “Love,” I said. I closed my eyes and turned from Legolas. I was defeated, and so soon after my victory. I was an emotional mess. “Which way back to my quarters?”

Legolas gave an audible sigh … frustration. “Come, I’ll take you there.”

“No,” I said rather quickly. “I’d prefer it if you just told me the way. Please, I want to be alone right now.”

Legolas gave me directions and I left. He respected my wishes and did not follow, but I could tell that he wanted to. He still wanted to know about me, about my past, the real reason I could not set myself free, as he put it. I was far from ready to discuss my past, to say the one name that hadn’t passed these lips in quite some time … Túron.


	4. Chapter 4

So long had it been since I came to Mirkwood. I needed to get home, to get away from this place … from Legolas. The day after our mishap on the practice grounds, I opted to stay in my guest quarters. I couldn’t face him after what had happened. What if Thranduil got word that I punched his son. I hoped that would not be the case, and unless one of the onlookers said something, I didn’t think he would find out. I was sure Legolas would say nothing.

Ai, Legolas, what was I to do about that? He wanted me, and quite frankly, I … well, I could not deny the way he stirred my blood. His kiss … he was right to say that it awakened something in me. I wanted to know more of him, of his mouth and his body, what he could do to me, and what I might learn about myself. I felt the flame he spoke of. It was something very ancient that had been subdued, not only within me, but for millennia, reaching back beyond my own birth. It was a need to lose inhibitions, to untie the binds that held me back, and discover something unknown to me. I could hardly understand this … calling. I’d been a soldier my whole life. I lived for order, to tame the chaos. But whatever Legolas stirred in me wanted to swim in disorder, to be untamable and live from hour to hour without any plan or path. Kissing Legolas made me feel like a fallen leaf and he was a warm breeze. Wherever he carried me I would go, take my chances, adapt to new surroundings. I didn’t want to be ruled, neither did I want to be a ruler. I just wanted to … be.

This was all nonsense, though. How could I be so susceptible to someone so unlike me. He was a Wood elf, I was not. Enough said. He played by a completely different set of rules, if you could even say that Wood elves had rules. Live to see tomorrow, that was their principle. Hold nothing back today, could be their code. I thought about that for a moment. It seemed tempting suddenly. Live in the moment. Worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. What would it be like to live day to day? Being a Captain, I was always thinking months in advance. I couldn’t afford not to. But the Mirkwood elves lived so close to death and danger, they became dangerous themselves. Tomorrow might not be here for them, but they’d be damned if they didn’t put up a glorious fight. It was kind of romantic … in a barbaric sort of way. So it made a little more sense to me why Legolas took me to him and kissed me so boldly. For him, there might never be another chance. It also made sense why women and men fought alongside each other, and why they had no rules against fraternizing. They lived for today, for it might be their last. It was a very courageous, very undaunted way of life, but it was also sad to think that the Wood elves of Mirkwood thought they could become extinct at any given moment. Sure, they were fearless, but did they fear tomorrow? And if so, what an awful thing to have hanging over one’s head every day. All these things rattled around in my head as I fell to my slumber that night. Needless to say, I did not have a good night’s rest.

* * * * *

The next morning, I awoke to pounding on my door. I jumped from my bed, but before I could make myself decent, the door flew open and there stood Corweth, dressed in a hunting outfit, leggings, boots and tunic. Her bow and a full quiver of arrows was strapped to her back, and she was smiling fiendishly. I was in nothing more than my undershirt, which was … thank goodness … long enough to cover parts of me that I’d rather not have exposed. This did not keep her from gawking, and her eyes traveled down to places most uncomfortable.

“Oh, why Captain, such nice legs you have,” she teased.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, reaching for my cape.

“The Prince sent me. There’s been a group of orcs spotted close to the river. Thought you might like to join the hunt. Unless you would rather crawl back into bed and hide yourself away until the King returns. You can do that too. It’s your prerogative.”

“Hunt?” I asked, still wiping the sleep from my eyes. “Do you mean fight?”

She laughed and shook her head. “This is not a fight, nor is it a battle. It’s exactly as I said, a hunt. When it comes to these stupid beasts, there is no contest. Wood elves don’t fight, we hunt. So, are you coming or not?”

“Fine, just give me a moment to dress,” I said accepting the invitation. I wondered why Legolas did not come himself. Perhaps he was still perplexed by our heated exchange, as I still was. I reached for my clothes and started to unbutton my shirt when I realized that Corweth was still in my room. I glared at her.

“You wanted me to wait for you. I’m waiting,” she said.

“Outside,” I commanded.

She laughed and went to my door. “Prude,” she uttered as she left.

I was beginning to learn my way around, at least from the guest quarters, and I didn’t really have to follow Corweth outside, but she gave me no choice. Once out of the palace and in the fresh air, I began to feel revitalized. I would never get used to being underground, away from the trees and the light. If I stayed down there for too long, it started to affect me. Perhaps that was the reason for my solemn mood last night, and my restless sleep.

I looked around the area. There were about ten of us all together. Corweth and her twin sister Messel, Legolas, a few other females and a couple males that I recognized from passing in the corridors. Legolas saw me, smiled and came to me at once. I felt awkward, and tried not to look him directly in the eyes. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing the disappointment in his . . .

“Captain Rúmil, so good of you to join us,” Legolas boasted, as though nothing happened the other day.

“Prince Legolas, I appreciate the invitation,” I said, mimicking the lightheartedness between us. In truth, I felt very tense being around him, pretending that all was well. Eventually, we would need to talk about it, but not now. “So, Corweth tells me we are going on a hunt.”

“That would be correct. There has been a group of orcs spotted on the opposite side of the river, heading upstream, not far from the river crossing.” He paused and looked at everyone in the hunting party. “Your orders are to capture their leader for interrogation. Kill the rest. Leave their corpses for the spiders. Whoever brings me the leader will get a barrel of Dorwinion reserved in their name.” The group murmured with delight over the prize. Legolas smiled and added, “But I strongly suggest that you consume it with moderation. We all know what happens when you indulge in too much Dorwinion, don’t we, Arthon?”

Everyone chuckled and Arthon’s color deepened a few shades of red. “I’m just fortunate to still have a place within the palace, my lord.”

Corweth shouted over the others. “And so is your friend, Galion. How long’s it been since either of you had a glass of port?” The rest of the party laughed.

“Alright, enough,” Legolas called out over them. “He learned his lesson long ago. Back to matters at hand. The orcs were said to be a group of about twenty or so, not a large group, but dangerous no less. All rules still apply. You’ll take a partner. If one of you gets injured, the other will not leave him or her behind. Safety in numbers as usual. This is not a battle where you only look out for yourself. That being said, these orcs are on the opposite side of the river. There’s spiders lurking close, but they will stick to the trees. The orcs know this. That’s why they walk the river bank. Spiders will not go close to the water. The leader of the orc company is said to have a metal plate covering half of his head, a large scar running from his temple to his jaw, and dressed in a bear skins. I want him brought to me … breathing. The only reason you kill him is to keep from being killed yourself, otherwise keep him alive. Any questions?” Legolas paused and looked around. Then his eyes fell upon me. “Captain, since you are new to this hunt, you’ll partner with me.”

I nodded in acknowledgement, but I wished I could have refused. I didn’t think it was a good idea to be his partner. There was too much awkwardness between us.

“Good,” Legolas replied. “Let’s head out. They should only be about a day ahead of us, and they are traveling slowly. We’ll double our pace and hopefully catch up to them by midday tomorrow.”

I looked around me, and no one seemed concerned that we were leaving for a few days to hunt these orcs. No horses and minimal supplies, this was not regulation, as least it wouldn’t be in Lothlórien. But these were Wood elves. They lived off the land, and made do with what they had.

Everyone teamed up with their partner and we headed out on our journey. Legolas let everyone pass him as he waited for me. Then we fell into step, side by side, silent as we marched on. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know why I even accepted this invitation, except that I thought it would be rude to refuse the Prince’s offer.

“Ever been on a hunt before?” Legolas asked me after we fell far enough behind the others.

“Deer, wild boar, rabbit, elk,” I answered, keeping my pace steady beside him, and my eyes straight ahead.

“Have you never hunted orcs before?” He seemed surprised by this.

“In Lothlórien, we don’t hunt them. We go to war with them.”

“You don’t know what you’ve been missing. Hunting orcs is a great pastime,” he said as though it was a game, and I said as much.

“We do not set out for our borders and attack the enemy for sport,” I said, offended. “No one really wants to be there, but we go because it is our duty to protect our realm and its people, as well as the Lord and Lady of Light.”

“I keep telling you, Captain, things are different here in Mirkwood. Different rules apply, sometimes no rules. Spiders are just mindless creatures. Not much fun in killing them, except that another dead spider is one less tomorrow. But orcs, they have minds. They think for themselves. They are survivalists, and they understand how the game is played. Now, the leader we are trying to capture . . .”

He went on with tactics and their plans for capture, but all I could think of was . . .

“How are you able to completely ignore what happened between us on the practice grounds,” I blurted out. It had been bothering me ever since we started out.

Legolas shrugged his shoulders. “I made a move. You punched me. I tried to explain the reasons for my actions. You told me you loved another. Now I’ve moved on. You are obviously not interested.”

“No, that’s not it,” I said frustrated.

“So you are interested,” he said sounding hopeful.

“No, I … it’s just–”

“Rúmil, you really are a very confusing ellon.”

“My point is … how can you be so nonchalant about all of this?” I asked with a raised voice.

We stopped walking and the rest of the group disappeared up ahead. When it seemed we were alone, Legolas became serious as he captured my eyes. “It is really very simple. I am extremely attracted to you, Rúmil. I’ve flirted, and I’ve made some bold moves, but you have rejected me at every turn. Now, in Lothlórien, you might have the luxury of courtship, or mindless flirting, or whatever you want to call it. But here in Mirkwood, we act fast, we say what is on our minds, and we take immediate action in order to accomplish a goal. There is no time to waste when your whole life feels as though you are living on the run. I figured it would take a little more coaxing to get you going, but when you told me you were in love with someone, I knew I had to back off. I would never come between–”

“I said I used to be in love with someone. We are not together any more. He’s gone away,” I explained.

“But … you still love him.” It was not a question as much as it was a statement.

“I will always have a place in my heart reserved for him.”

“Then there must still be a chance that you will be together again one day.”

I started walking again, afraid that we would fall too far behind, which meant someone would come back for us, and this was a conversation I didn’t want to have with half of Mirkwood. No doubt, word spread through the palace like a bee flitting from flower to flower. “There is always a chance. There’s a chance the sun will not rise tomorrow. It doesn’t mean it will happen in my lifetime.”

Legolas caught up to me, but he didn’t say anything for the next several paces. I could feel that he had more questions for me, and eventually, he spoke. “So, this ellon you love … sorry, loved … where is he now?”

I shrugged and shook my head. “I don’t know. He could be anywhere, I suppose.”

“Why did he leave?” Legolas asked. He seemed genuinely concerned.

“He had no choice in the matter,” I said solemnly.

“It’s the army again, isn’t it?” He gasped mocking surprise. “Why, Captain, did you get caught with your lover? Oh my! The blasphemy of it all!”

“You’re a real arse, you know that,” I said angrily. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this anyways, but just to set things straight, I was not caught, and it is a long story … one in which I will not bother sharing with an insensitive prick.” I marched off ahead of him, but his long legs allowed him to catch me in just a few strides.

“I’m sorry, Rúmil. I meant no disrespect. I just find it hard to understand your army rules. To me, they seem ridiculous, and I wonder why someone like you would want to be a part of something so restricting.”

“I do it because I love being a soldier. That’s it. It’s simple.”

“If it was simple, you’d be a soldier and still have your lover. But instead, you had to send him away,” Legolas noted.

“That was a sacrifice I had to make.”

His eyes drilled into me, searching for the truth. I was good at hiding my true feelings, and he was good at extracting them. “It’s not one that I’d be willing to make.”

“Yet you sacrifice yourself by letting your father keep you hidden away for fear of losing his only heir. That is something I could never do,” I pointed out. I’d hit a raw nerve. Legolas turned his head back straight, glaring down the path.

“You know nothing of it,” he said trying to distance himself from me.

I had the advantage, finally, and I felt the power shift to my side. “I know I wouldn’t let someone restrain me or hide me away like a treasure.”

Legolas stopped and rounded on me. “Do you think I like this? Do you think I like sitting underground while my friends run out to meet the enemy?”

“No, I don’t. I know that you want to be out there every time, because it is in your soul. But I don’t think you fight hard enough. Thranduil is a king to his people, but you are his son. If anyone can make him listen to reason, it is his own flesh and blood. But you are afraid of him.”

“I am not,” Legolas seethed.

“Of course you are. Otherwise, why would you be here now, heading into danger? It’s easy to defy your father when he’s not here.”

Legolas snorted a disturbing laugh. “You think I’ve snuck out without my father’s consent.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “My father sent me on this mission.”

“What?” I said confused.

“Who do you think spotted the orcs and sent word to the palace? The King returns today.”

I was livid at this point, and I had to force myself not to stick him with my arrow. “Thranduil is returning and no one told me? Then why did you ask me to come along on this excursion when you know damn well how important it is for me to speak with him?”

“Because you are not ready to speak with him yet!” Legolas yelled. His jaw was set as he clenched his teeth, and his savage eyes turned to slits. He looked as though he was deciding whether or not to cut my head from my shoulders. Finally, he released me from his murderous stare, turned away and shook his head in disappointment. “Perhaps I made a mistake by trusting your brother.”

“Haldir? Wait. What has my brother got to do with this?” I was completely clueless, but leave it to Haldir to involve me in something that I had no idea I was involved in.

“Come on. We need to catch up to the others. I’ll tell you along the way.”

I planted my feet solidly on the path. “You will tell me now or I’ll go back to the caves alone.”

Legolas sighed deep and gave in to my demand. “Alright. Your brother, Haldir, has been coming to Mirkwood to slowly build trust with my father.”

“That is no secret,” I said skeptically. “Go on.”

“He has not been doing it for Lothlórien alone. There are many of us who want to join Lothlórien in their efforts to tear down Dol Guldur. But my father is a very … very stubborn elf. He says it is our duty to protect our kingdom in the north, and if Lórien wants to attack Dol Guldur, then it’s their own responsibility since they are closer neighbors than Mirkwood. Haldir has been trying to convince my father that a shared effort will mean a better chance at victory, and he was doing a good job of it too. That is, until a most unfortunate thing happened.” At this point, Legolas started walking up the path. I had no choice but to follow. He had me hooked at every word. “During Haldir’s last visit, Mirkwood had an unexpected guest. Do you know Mithrandir, the grey wizard?”

“I’ve never met him personally, but he has come to Lothlórien many times to visit the Lady Galadriel.” I said.

“Well, he does not visit Mirkwood often, and it was rather a shock to see him at our gates. He was not alone. He brought with him a prisoner.”

“An orc?” I asked, and I thought about this hunt we were on.

“No, not an orc. Not a member of any species, really. I’m not sure myself what kind of creature it was, but it was pitiful and lonely, and frightened of elves more than orcs.”

“What did the wizard want with it?” I asked.

“He said he’d captured it, and that it held a wealth of information. He said that the enemy could not get their hands on it, and that’s why he brought the creature to Mirkwood. Mithrandir brought it to us to protect it, not to imprison it. It had done no one any harm, but by being here, it put Mirkwood in even more danger than we were already in.”

“Then why did King Thranduil allow it here?” I wondered.

“As I said, your brother was visiting at the time. He approached my father and helped to convince him to allow the wizard’s request. The creature was put in a cell. Mithrandir left, but said that he would come back for the creature when it was time. My father remained suspicious, but because of the trust he’d built with Haldir, he was put a bit at ease with his decision. And I was put in charge of seeing over the prisoner.”

“But–” I said, drawing the word out.

Legolas bowed his head until his chin rested on his chest. “It was all my fault. Mithrandir warned us not to believe a word the creature said. This … thing … it cried every night and sobbed every day. It said it was dying beneath the earth. All it wanted was to see the stars. I took pity on it. I couldn’t help myself. As I said, we were protecting it, and it seemed unfair to keep it locked away all the time when it hadn’t committed any crimes against anyone. And so, on a moonless night when the stars were at their peak of brilliance, I ordered the guards to let the creature out to breathe the fresh air and gaze upon his desire. They took it outside, but they were careful to let it loose in a glade where there was only a single tree. The creature climbed the tree, saying it only wanted to be closer to the stars. But when it was time to take it back to the cells, it wouldn’t come down. My guards tried everything short of shooting it with an arrow to get it out of that tree. They were distracted and didn’t hear the orcs approaching. My men were outnumbered. They were slaughtered. The tree was cut down, and the creature was stolen from us. When my father found out, he was livid. He blamed Haldir for talking him into it. He blamed me for the kidnapping, and he said he would never trust another Lórien elf for as long as he remained on this earth. Haldir left immediately, and I was told I could not participate in hunts or battles.”

“But he is allowing you on this one. Why?” I was enthralled by this story and my brother’s involvement, but I wondered why I was here.

“He knows when it comes to a hunt and capturing an enemy, there is no one better. And I convinced him to let me prove myself to him once again. The orc leading this company up river was there the night that the creature was stolen. That’s why we need to interrogate him. We need to make things right with the wizard, and we can do that if we can find out where the enemy took the prisoner.”

“That all makes sense, Legolas, but one thing does not. Why am I here if your father wants nothing to do with Lothlórien, especially since I am the brother of the elf he considers the reason for his problems.” I was finally getting to the bottom of this, and I knew Haldir still had a hand in helping the Mirkwood elves who did not agree with their king.

Legolas smiled at me, his blue eyes cutting to my soul. “That’s what I like about you, Rúmil. Always thinking ahead. Nothing gets past you, does it? Do you know how alluring–”

“Out with it,” I demanded. This was no time for his seductions.

“My father doesn’t know you are here. I intercepted the letter of request sent from Lothlórien and answered it, allowing you to come. I had it all planned out perfectly. You would arrive while my father was out performing his duties, and that would give me time to figure out what to do next.”

I was dumbfounded. I stood there, staring at Legolas, unable to find my voice for a moment. I didn’t know whether to punch him again for involving me in his schemes, or to swive him for not being the spoiled heir of a sovereign I thought he was, and actually having a pair of bollocks when it came to defying his father. “Wait, you said you needed to figure out what to do next?”

“There was no time to make any plans further than getting you to Mirkwood. The orc party had been spotted before, but our scouts lost track of them. It was pure luck that my father saw them. Now, we have to think of a way to involve you in this hunt that will force my father to give you an audience with him. Haldir said you had a way with words, and if there was anyone that could convince my father to join in this war, it would be you.”

“Me? I’m not a negotiator. I can hardly talk a kitchen maid into giving me an extra sweet roll, let alone talk your father into fighting a war with Lothlórien,” I countered. What in the name of Eru did Haldir think he was doing?

Legolas smiled fiendishly and came close to me. “Oh, I don’t know about that. If it was me in the kitchen, I’d give you more than a sweet roll.”

There was that seductive voice again. I tried not to let it affect me, but there are parts of the male anatomy that have a mind of their own. “Will you be serious for a moment? I’m afraid Haldir has misled you. There is another reason why he sent me here, and it’s not to join you in this scheme against your father, who … by the way … could have my head put on a stake,” I argued. “I’m only a messenger in all of this.”

Legolas seemed disappointed in my reaction. He must have thought I was here on my own accord. He hadn’t known the real reason I was sent here, which was to get away from my own interrogation and Raenor, who was still on a witch hunt over the whole Túron and Romon scandal.

His face softened. He looked desperate at this point, though he tried to hide it. “Will you help us or not, Rúmil? I believe that if Mirkwood joins Lothlórien and storms Dol Guldur, we could actually take back the Rhovanion and extinguish the black creatures. And I’m not alone in this. There are enough Wood elves who believe this, and who would join the cause if it meant living out from under the threat of darkness.” He was pleading with me. He looked so vulnerable that I found it difficult to resist.

After some thought, I finally answered. “I will help you capture this orc. I will even help you interrogate him. I have no choice but to come back to the palace with you. It will be out of my hands at that point. If your father sends me away without allowing me an audience with him, then I must abide by his rule. He is king here, not you. If tensions are high between Lothlórien and Mirkwood, I will not do anything to make them any tenser than they already are. That is the best I can offer you.”

“Then we’ll just have to make sure my father will let you speak. Now, let’s go hunt an orc.”

* * * * *

We found the orc party, and we captured their leader. The rest were killed and left to rot. The leader was interrogated and … well, unfortunately for him the information had to be forced out. Legolas handled that part of things. For the first time, I saw the genuine savagery of the Wood elves. Revenge was good motivator. After all, it had been Legolas’ own men who died that day when the creature was taken, and this orc had been responsible for the crimes.

Now we had arrived at the palace, and I had never been so nervous. I hid it well. It was not like me to show my true emotions when in a professional setting. Today I would speak with the King, or at least I hoped it would be today. I had my own war to fight back in Lothlórien, and I knew they needed every able bodied elf.

Legolas and I, and the entire hunting party, entered the King’s hall, the center of this Wood elf operation. A stone bridge was all that separated us from King Thranduil. His throne sat upon a dais of rock, high in the center of the main cavern. I gazed across the distance to the regal elf, dressed in forest green robes, gilded edges sparkling in the light. Upon his golden head sat a mithril circlet dotted with jewels, rubies, emeralds and sapphires, I supposed. He was the last of the elven kings, and he radiated a sense of superiority and self-importance that no other leader possessed. It suddenly dawned on me, the significance of Legolas’ role in all of this. The same royal blood coursed through his veins, and I had felt that blood pulsing just below the ivory skin as he touched my own. Legolas was not just another Wood elf, as I had let myself believe. He was the son of the most important person in this extravagant room. He could very well be sitting upon this same throne one day.

“I was not made aware that we had a visitor,” Thranduil’s voiced boomed from the throne.

“I allowed it, Your Grace, while you were away and I was temporary ruler in your stead,” Legolas spoke from my side.

Thranduil moved to the edge of his throne and studied me from across the stone walkway. “I can see by your clothes that you are from Lothlórien. Who are you?”

“I am Rúmil, Captain of the Northern Border Guard,” I announced with pride.

Thranduil observed me carefully before he went on. “Your brother is Haldir, Marchwarden of the North.”

“He is, Your Grace. He has sent me here to speak with you about–”

“I have nothing to say to you, just as I had nothing to say to your brother,” Thranduil commanded. He slid back comfortably in his chair, hands resting on the wooden arms shaped like twisted branches. I could see the gleam of many jeweled rings, one on each finger. He wore his wealth with pride.

“You have a very beautiful home, Your Grace,” I said.

“Thank you,” Thranduil replied.

“You’ve gone to great lengths to protect it, as well as your people,” I spoke again.

“I have and I still do. Now, if you’ll please take your leave and–”

“Pardon my boldness, Your Grace, but I am sure you would like to keep your people safe for as long as possible.”

“My people are well protected and will remain that way until–”

“Until Dol Guldur regurgitates its massive army and they march north, here, to Mirkwood.”

Thranduil’s thick dark brows came together with a deep furrowing. “You dare to interrupt me when I’m speaking?”

“I have new information about our enemy that you should be made aware of.”

“I highly doubt there is anything you could tell me that I do not already know. Nothing you can say will persuade me to fight for Lothlórien. That is the reason your brother sent you, is it not?” Thranduil said with impatience. 

“He said you will not heed his advice anymore, and he chose me to carry the message instead.”

“You could send a talking rabbit here to speak with me on such matters, but if it came from Lothlórien, its advice would still fall on deaf ears,” the King scolded.

“Father,” Legolas called across the way. “I think you should listen to Captain Rúmil. Hear what it is he has to say. At least let us approach the throne so we don’t have to shout.”

Thranduil ignored his son’s plea. “Did you receive my message about the orc party?”

I heard Legolas sigh next to me. Obviously, he knew there was no way to force anything on his father. The Prince would submit for now. “Yes, and they have been dealt with. Their leader was interrogated, and there is new information.”

“Come then,” Thranduil called, waving his son across the bridge. “Tell me this news.”

“I’m … afraid I do not have it,” Legolas said cautiously.

“You said you interrogated him, so what did he tell you?” Thranduil asked. I could hear the anger beginning to rise in his tone.

“The orc did not tell me anything,” Legolas informed. “I was the hand that forced him to speak, but it was not my ear that his words fell upon.”

Thranduil was growing impatient, and he was starting to see what Legolas was up to. “Then who knows what he said?”

“The orc would only talk to Captain Rúmil, since he was the only one of our hunting party that was not there the night of the situation,” Legolas said.

“And what was the Lothlórien soldier doing accompanying you on a hunt?”

“I invited him. Captain Rúmil is leader to their archery regiment. He’s very good with a bow, and I … thought he might enjoy a bit of hunting.”

Thranduil glared at his son. “What kind of trickery is this, Legolas?” Each word was carefully pronounced and tinged with danger.

“It is no trick, Father, but if you want to know what the orc said, you’ll have to ask the Captain. He is the only one who knows.”

This had been our plan all along. Legolas knew his father would never allow me to speak with him, and we needed a way to guarantee he would. So, once we killed the orc party and tortured the leader until he was ready to talk, Legolas and the others left me alone with him. Legolas told me what questions to ask once I was alone with the orc. The poor creature told me everything he knew, in order to keep Legolas from coming back and torturing him some more. And Legolas was true to his word. He didn’t torture the orc after that. He put him out of his misery, and ours … a swift death. When it was all said and done, I was the only one who knew the answers to the questions, and if Thranduil wanted to know, he would only hear it from me.

“Now,” Legolas said. “May we approach?”

Thranduil looked livid. I thought that the only reason I was still breathing was because of the information I held. The King would not look at me, but Legolas seemed to be taking the brunt of the King’s deadly stare. There was nothing more frightening than cornering an angry Wood elf.

“You are my son,” Thranduil finally said, an eerie calm coating his words. “You are never denied my attention.”

“And Captain Rúmil?” Legolas asked. I almost wished he would have let me stay where I was.

“Bring your talking rabbit, then,” Thranduil answered. He stood from his chair and turned, his green robes snapping in the air. That’s when I noticed that there was a door behind the dais. Thranduil walked to the door and disappeared inside, his marvelous cloak chasing behind.

Before we crossed the bridge that led to the chamber, Legolas looked at me, one brow raised in mischief. “Ready to face the bull?”

“As I’ll ever be,” I said, but I wasn’t sure this was going to work. Thranduil would want the information first. I had to convince him to hear me out before I would release anything the orc told me. The battle was not over yet.

Once inside the chamber, I realized that I’d been here before. When Legolas first gave me a tour of the palace, this had been one of the places he showed me, but we had come in from another way. There was no mistaking the bear rug or the tapestries covering the walls. This was the King’s private audience chamber.

Thranduil went to a shelf and picked up a decanter of wine. He poured himself a glass, but he did not offer any to me or Legolas. I was receiving his message clearly. Thranduil would only tolerate me until he got what he wanted. After that, he’d be done with me. I had to keep that from happening.

Legolas and I stood side by side as we waited for Thranduil to speak. The King had his back to us as he poured the wine, and then finished half the glass in only a few swallows. He set the cup down rather hard and spun on his heel. Thranduil was flawlessly handsome for someone so intimidating. I could see the likeness between father and son, their hair, their eyes, and it was obvious in the face as well as the way they carried themselves. They could be friend or foe, my greatest ally or my worst enemy, and they could flip as quickly as a coin. But the one great difference that I had only recently come to know was that Legolas’ opinion of fighting the war was opposite of his father’s views, and I needed Legolas on my side.

“Captain Rúmil, perhaps you will tell me how much you know about a prisoner that we held here,” Thranduil said.

“He knows everything,” Legolas answered for me. “I had to tell him about the creature and the kidnapping so that he would know what questions to ask.”

“I see,” Thranduil said cynically. “And does he know that it was your fault that the prisoner was taken from us? Does he know that you disobeyed an order, and let the creature out because you … felt sorry for it?”

I could sense Legolas’ embarrassment, and I intervened. “Legolas has told me everything, and I have to add that I might have done the same thing had I been in your son’s position.”

“Then you would be just as much a fool,” Thranduil said with disappointment. “Mithrandir entrusted the Wood elves with this charge. The creature was not ours to decide what to do with. We were only to keep watch, to keep him out of the enemy’s grasp.”

Legolas took a step towards his father, a pleading look upon his beautiful face. “How many times must I say I’m sorry? How many times must I agree that it was my fault? I lost some of my best men that night. I’ll live with the guilt of my decision for the rest of my days. Isn’t that punishment enough, Father?”

Thranduil looked upon his son with concern. I thought that deep down, he wanted to forgive Legolas, but he was the King, and he had to make an example. “And I have to live with the fact that it was my own son who made that poor decision.”

“Your son has done a good thing to make up for his mistakes,” I interrupted. “By your command, he found the orc party, captured the leader and had him interrogated.”

“A good thing? Really? He let an elf of Lórien question a captive. He let you ask the questions … alone. And now he’s expecting me to beg a Lórien elf to give me the information,” Thranduil seethed.

“I would never disrespect the elven king by making him grovel. All I ask is that, in return for this information, you hear me out, listen to Lothlórien’s warning, and give serious consideration to their pleas,” I said.

“And I suppose I have to hear what you have to say before you will trade this information,” Thranduil said unimpressed. “Very well, tell me.” He seemed very uninterested.

“Your Grace,” I began. “It is about Dol Guldur and our findings.”

“Of course it is. Everything Lothlórien tries to get me involved it has to do with that place.”

“A place that was once home to your people,” I reminded him.

“My father’s people, you mean. And most of them have sailed or perished in war. My father, King Oropher, took us to the safety of the north because he knew what troubles lay ahead in the southern regions of the Rhovanion.”

“And that was the best thing to do at the time. But over the years, the abandoned places have gone unchecked,” I argued.

“Yes, and the Necromancer settled in Dol Guldur. As far as I know, it was Mithrandir and your Lady of Light who abolished him from the broken tower. That place is nothing more than a gathering place for the orc troops.” Thranduil seemed very sure of himself, but I was not going to let him win this one.

“It is more than a gathering place. Orcs are breeding there, growing their armies, and once they have enough, they will march on Lothlórien and Mirkwood.”

“This is nothing new to my ears, Captain Rúmil. But the way I see things, Lothlórien is closest to the danger, and it should be their responsibility to keep watch over any activity and to strike when necessary. I have enough to worry about with the spiders. Any orcs that happen along here are severely out of place, and as you saw for yourself, they are dealt with immediately.”

“Your Grace,” I stated with a raised voice. “There is more in Dol Guldur than orcs. The Nazgûl now inhabit that place, and they are responsible for organizing Sauron’s armies.”

“The Nazgûl?” Thranduil said in a shocked whisper. “So, Sauron has initiated his Black Captains.”

“It is Lothlórien’s belief that they will march soon. They will spread like a plague across the Rhovanion towards my home and yours, and by then it will be too late to stop them. If we go now, to Dol Guldur, and attack them before they are at full capacity, they can be defeated, but it will take both of us to do this.”

Thranduil went back to the decanter of wine and refilled his glass. He sipped slowly, his mind turning over this new information as he considered what to do. He glanced over his shoulder to his son. “And what are your thoughts in all of this.”

“I have always thought we have not done enough, but now is our opportunity to put an end to it all,” Legolas answered passionately.

“You have always been too eager, just like your grandfather,” Thranduil said. “You want to rush in, get blood on your knives, but you have not considered what that will mean for the men who will be slaughtered. I’ve seen it once already, Legolas. I will not watch it again.”

“Oropher rushed into a battle that–”

“I am not speaking of Oropher,” Thranduil said in a threatening tone. I saw some kind of exchange between father and son, something unspoken that only they knew about.

Legolas took a deep breath to clear his mind and bring things back to the matter at hand. “We will be ready, Father, especially if we fight alongside Lothlórien,” Legolas argued the point in a cool demeanor. “There are more than you know who believe in this strategy, who want to fight. They want to go out and meet the enemy, not sit here and wait for them to come to us. By then it will be too late.”

I could see that Thranduil was becoming irritated. His shoulders drew back as he lifted his head. Even with his back turned to us, he was still menacing. Everything hung on his word, and I would have an answer before I left Mirkwood.

“I’ve listened to what you have to say. Now, tell me what the orc revealed about the prisoner they took from us.” He ignored everything Legolas had just told him.

I looked at Legolas nervously, but he gave a confident smile and a nod. Before we came to Thranduil, we had devised a plan, which we achieved so far, but we also had a side plan that would insure I’d have an answer before my departure. It was a risk and a huge move on my part, and I’m not sure I would even try it if it wasn’t for Legolas’ support. I was about to find out how well he knew his father and his wrath, for this would make him very angry indeed.

“Before I do, I’d like to know why it is so important to you. Why is it any concern of yours anymore?” I asked boldly. There was no room for nervousness now. I could not show the slightest sign of fear, or I could not corner Thranduil.

Thranduil considered my question for a moment. “The prisoner, Gollum was his name, he’d been within Mirkwood, within the palace. Now the orcs have him, and I fear he will tell them what he’s seen. I fear they might be looking for a way in.” He spoke to himself as he justified his answer. “I should have known better than to allow Mithrandir to talk me into helping him. He put us all in danger.”

“They do not care about Mirkwood,” I said. “Not as far as the creature is concerned.”

Thranduil was not happy about my inquisition, and I could tell he was getting fed up with me. “Gollum was under my watch and my care when he was taken, and as a symbol of good faith I should have answers for the wizard when he returns for the prisoner and finds he’s not here.”

I watched the King carefully. I’d learned a thing or two about body language, and how to detect when someone was not telling the whole truth. I noticed that Thranduil rubbed his thumb and forefinger together, giving himself away as he tried to steer me away from the real reason. I realized that while Gollum was imprisoned in Mirkwood, Thranduil would have had ample opportunity to interrogate him and find out why a wizard wanted him just as much as the enemy did. “Could it be that you already know why the orcs wanted him?” I dared to ask.

Thranduil very calmly walked to his desk, and placed both palms flat on the wood grain. He bowed his head, remaining still and quiet. I thought that I might have taken the advantage in our game, and I glanced at Legolas to see his reaction. But before my eyes even had time to see my abettor, the silence was violently broken by Thranduil’s fist slamming onto the desk. His head slowly came up, his ice blue eyes glaring at me through his thick dark brows. “We had an agreement, Captain. I listened to your pleas, now just tell me what I wish to know.”

“You have not given me an answer yet, Your Grace. Do so, and I shall tell you everything the orc admitted to,” I said coolly.

“You do not fool me. If I say no to joining you on some suicide mission, you’ll not tell me a damn thing.”

“That’s not true, but if you say no, you might change your mind after hearing what happened to the prisoner,” I argued.

Thranduil knew he was trapped. He couldn’t let me leave without knowing what I had to tell him, and I could not leave without an answer. We had come to a stalemate and one of us would have to fold first. So he offered me a truce and I accepted.

“Will you at least tell me where they took him?” Thranduil asked softly.

I paused and waited until the King looked me in the eyes, and when he did I answered. “Dol Guldur.”

His shoulders slumped as he looked down at his desk. This was the one place that Thranduil had wanted to avoid, and the focus of Lothlórien’s next move.

“Why do you want the prisoner, Father?” Legolas asked. “What do you know?”

Thranduil scowled at his son. “Why don’t you ask your Lórien friend? He seems to know everything. Maybe you can drag it out of him.” Thranduil brought himself up to his full intimidating height, and looked at me with rage dancing behind the ice blue eyes. “I need time to consider your plea for help. You’ll have an answer come morning. One more day in Mirkwood will not hurt your campaign. Now go, both of you.”

“I wish to stay and speak with you,” Legolas said.

“Go,” Thranduil said without hesitation. Legolas started to take a step forward to confront his father, but I put my hand on his arm to stop him. I could see by the look on his face, he just wanted to know what his father was thinking, but Thranduil wanted to be alone to think. Not even his own son could sway him in this decision.

Legolas gave in and abandoned his thoughts for the moment. We left Thranduil’s audience chamber, and crossed over the stone archway. Legolas seemed restless, and my nerves were rattled to the core after all that. The Prince took a deep breath and looked at me. “You seem to have come out on top,” he said.

“Ahead of the game, but not unscathed. Your father is unreasonable and stubborn, and I somehow managed escape without ending up in your prison cells.”

Legolas smiled and gave a huff of a laugh. “Well, there’s nothing else to do for today. Let’s go unravel those nerves.”

“Do you have a tavern hidden away in one of these dark corridors?” I asked jokingly. Actually, I could use a strong drink at the moment.

“Not what I was thinking, but I’ll have wine sent.”

“Sent where?” I wondered.

“To the hot springs, of course.”

“You have hot springs in Mirkwood?” I asked surprised.

“Better. They are within the palace. My father struck a deal with the dwarves long ago. They tapped into a natural source and built custom baths where the water remains at a constant tantalizing temperature.”

“You really do have everything under this hill, don’t you?”

Legolas smiled infectiously. “Come on. Time to relax after our harsh trials.”


	5. Chapter 5

There really was a natural hot spring beneath the hill that Legolas called home … this palace underground. The Prince led me through another confusing series of corridors and walkways until we came to a place that looked like a cave. While the other parts of the palace had smooth walls and floors with luxurious rugs, plush seats and tables with gold inlay, the bath house, as Legolas referred to it, was left looking unfinished, with rough stone walls and rock benches carved into those walls. In the center of the room was a large pool with steam rising from its dark waters. The air smelled like minerals and wet earth, very much like a cave.

“This used to be solid rock. The dwarves came in, chipping and hammering away, day and night, until they made this room. Then they tapped into the water source feeding the pool that they built with the naturally heated water. It flows in from the center of the pool, and exits at the far end,” Legolas informed.

“An ingenious design as I’ve ever witnessed,” I said, utterly in awe.

“All are welcome here any time they like. I come here to think or to unwind after a good hunt,” he said, walking to one of the stone benches. He sat down and started taking off his boots. I stood to the side and continued to admire the handiwork of dwarves. “Haven’t you any bath houses in Lothlórien?” Legolas asked.

I glanced at him, and found that he was now stripping himself of his clothes. I looked away quickly. “We have hot springs, but they’ve been there since the earth was made. And they are not as private as this.” I heard the rustling of leather and silk, as Legolas continued undressing.

“I wouldn’t have thought of you being bashful,” Legolas said, and now I heard the swirling of water as he made his way into the pool.

“Just … respecting your privacy,” I answered uncomfortably.

“You may look now,” he called.

I turned and found him waist deep in the center of the pool. The water covered him low on his hips, and I noticed the trail of blond fuzz leading from his bellybutton and lower. Some elves had this trait and some did not. I myself didn’t, but I found it to be an enticing feature to the male body. Before I thought about where that trail led, I cleared my throat and walked to one of the stone benches.

“Do I make you nervous?” Legolas asked, the sultriness returned to his voice. “Surely you don’t bathe in your clothes in Lothlórien.”

I laughed with an acute uneasiness. “Of course not. It’s just that … well … I barely know you. In Lothlórien, we have trained together, eaten together, fought together, and yes bathed together, but we know each other like brothers.”

“Then here, let me make you more comfortable.” Legolas sunk lower into the water and turned his back to me. “Better?”

“Somewhat,” I said. I saw no way out of this, and more than anything I wanted to lose my anxiety to the warm water. So I undressed, and kept a close eye on Legolas in case he tried to execute some kind of foolery. He didn’t, and remained with his back turned until I notified him. The water was very hot, almost to the point that I could not stand it, and I sucked a sharp breath in between my clenched teeth.

Legolas laughed low in his throat. “You’ll get used to it once you are submerged.”

My skin tingled from the heat, but soon I began to adjust to the temperature. “By the gods, this feels wonderful,” I sighed.

“My favorite place to be,” he said, and he disappeared beneath the water. I watched him glide across the pool, and come up for air close to where I was. He looked like a river imp with his hair wet and slicked back, ivory skin glistening with water, and blue eyes alive with mischief. He smiled at me. “You should try it. Let the water cover every inch of your body.”

“Oh, well … I … haven’t taken out my braids,” I said as an excuse.

“Here, let me help you.” He waded over to me, his long fingers reaching for the braids at my temples. He was gentle as he untwisted my hair, taking his time, and let his fingertips brush along the edge of my ear. He moved to the other side and repeated the process. “There,” he said when he was finished.

A wine servant entered the room, carrying a tray with a carafe, goblets, and a few edibles. Legolas told her to leave it at the edge of the pool. When we were alone again, he approached the tray and poured, handing me a cup. “Dorwinion wine. Best you’ll ever taste, but be careful. It is quite potent.”

I took a sip and was immediately rewarded with a delightful warmth that purled through my chest, settling in my stomach. Now I was warm from the inside out. “Delicious.”

“Yes. Yes it is,” Legolas said, but I didn’t think he was talking about the wine.

I moved back against the side of the pool, and Legolas stayed beside me. He sipped his wine and set the cup down. Then he dipped his head below the water again. When he came up, he was staring intensely at me.

“So, what do you think your father will choose?” I said to break up the vehemently charged moment.

Legolas’ arms came out of the water, spreading along the stone edge. I glanced at his chest, well defined like what was common for an archer. “Well,” he started to answer. “I would say he would choose to do nothing, if it weren’t for the fact that you know something that he does not. That was a brave move on your part, to accuse him of already having known something about the prisoner.”

“I know he knows something. I just don’t know what that something is. And I believe I hold the other half of the key to solving the mystery.” I adjusted my position so that my shoulders sunk beneath the water. “Your father would do whatever he could if he knew there was a way to end the darkness.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Legolas asked defensively.

“Perhaps, but what he would do comes with a heavy price.”

Legolas was silent, but I knew he wanted to know more than anything. The fact was, I knew why the enemy wanted Gollum. The creature knew things about the whereabouts of a weapon. In the hands of the enemy, it could destroy Middle-earth. But in the hands of Men, it could rule or ruin. It could still be very detrimental to the future of the free people of the world.

“You have sacrificed for a price. You know what it is like,” he said. “You said it yourself, choosing the army over a lover. So you see, sometimes we will do what it takes to make sure there is a tomorrow.”

“My choice to be a Captain is not a sacrifice. I do it because I want to, not because I have to. And he was more than a lover, if you must know.” I don’t know why I was telling him this, but he’d put me on the defensive.

Legolas took his arms down and moved a little closer to me. “He must have been very special. You speak with passion whenever the subject it brought up.”

“He was special. He still is, to me anyways,” I admitted.

“You’ve never spoken about him to anyone, have you?” Legolas asked.

“Who am I going to tell?”

“You can tell me. You’re free to speak within Mirkwood,” he reminded me. “What was his name?”

“Tu … Túron,” I stammered. “He was from Rivendell.”

“Ai, Imladris … very passionate elves come from that land. I once had a lover there,” he reminisced.

“You have been to Rivendell?” I asked.

“A few times, but it was a very long time ago. You see, Lord Elrond was looking for someone who might make a good pairing for his daughter. My father thought it would be worthwhile to send me to Imladris. Imagine if the Prince of Mirkwood were to marry the daughter of Rivendell. It didn’t pan out, of course.”

“I take it you were not moved by her beauty?” I said, feeling more and more relaxed with every sip of wine.

“She is beyond beautiful. Even an elf like me found her difficult to resist. And then one evening, there was a special performance by the resident minstrel.” Legolas sipped his wine, a dreamy look adorning his face. “He was gorgeous, auburn hair, beautiful green eyes, and a smile that took my breath away. I flirted with him all evening. It was shameless of me, I know, but I just couldn’t help myself. Oh, the things we did to each other … hmm, gets me excited just thinking about it.”

It was getting me excited imagining it too, but I regained myself quickly. “Would you have married her … that is, if your father and Lord Elrond insisted on it?”

“No, I couldn’t have gone through with it, not even for our kingdoms. It would have been unfair to her.”

“And not unfair to you?” I wondered.

He gave me a devious look. “As I said, there was a musician.”

“Oh,” I replied and thought of the story Haldir told me about Raenor’s father.

“Why do you ask? Have you been in a similar situation?”

“No,” I smiled. “No father ever insisted his daughter marry a soldier. But I have been to quite a few dances with an elleth upon my arm for the evening, and nothing ever led anywhere beyond the dance hall.”

“So … you’ve never … with an elleth?” he hinted.

“Well, no,” I said matter-of-factly. But the look in Legolas’ eyes said he had had a different experience. “And you have?” I asked, my curiosity peaking at a new level.

“Let’s just say that Lady Arwen would have been very satisfied, and so would I as long as I had a way to supplement my voracious appetite,” he smirked. I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this. Perhaps he was testing me to see whether it made a difference or not. I thought about the flirtatious conversation between Legolas and Corweth, back when I first arrived in Mirkwood and found myself in the healing rooms.

“But whatever side I find myself entertaining, I tend to devote my full attention,” he added for good measure. In other words, I didn’t have to worry about him flirting with me and then throwing himself onto the next elleth that walked by.

“How very … gracious … of you,” I said facetiously.

He watched me over his glass as he sipped again. “You are very clever, Rúmil.”

“How is that?” I asked.

“Every time I try to delve into your personal life, you manage to turn the conversation around onto me.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” I noted.

Legolas smiled and laughed quietly to himself. “There’s that wit and charm that I find irresistible. Now, as you were saying about this lover from your past.”

“There’s not much to tell, really. We met, saw each other multiple times, helped one another, and then it was over.” I thought the quick version was best for today.

“You make an uninteresting story,” he said disappointed.

I got the feeling that he really wanted to know so he could understand me better. I think he was trying, but I was unwilling to budge. Perhaps it would do some good to tell a stranger about the things that happened and where my life went awry. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Túron was a scout and a spy, hired by my brother, Haldir, to keep an eye on certain elves who were trying to stir up trouble. When I became the focus of attention for these elves, Túron’s motives turned to protecting me. Unbeknownst to both of us, feelings developed.”

“I take it you did not know he was a spy?” Legolas questioned.

“No, not until much later, but by then we were … very close.”

Legolas swam around me, coming up next to me. He reached for a cloth and used it to wipe the sweat from his brow. There was a second towel. This one he used on me, dabbing my neck and my face. Then he smiled and handed it to me. “So, when you found out, is that when things went sour?” he asked.

“I was not happy to know I’d been deceived, but I was willing to listen.”

“That was noble of you,” he said, and he sat next to me in the pool.

“I didn’t get much of a chance, though. The elf I mentioned, the one causing the trouble, tried to set me up, to expose me for his own gain. Túron uncovered his plot at the last moment, and basically threw himself in front, taking the proverbial arrow for me. He was the one exposed, Túron and one of my best men. Once that kind of information is made public … well … I could not be seen with him any longer, for fear of my own secret being disclosed. And besides, his job was done. It was time for him to move on and look for work elsewhere.” Talking about Túron, and bringing back all the things I’d tried so hard to bury for the past year did not make it any easier now. I needed more wine, and I moved from my spot, leaving Legolas where he was. While I poured, I heard the water swirl behind me.

“It sounds like you have gone through some difficult trials, and I’m sorry for your loss,” he said.

“Thank you,” I barely whispered, taking a hefty gulp of my drink.

“But at least you had him for a short while. It’s better than to never have known what it was like to love.”

“You sound as though you’ve never experienced it before,” I noted.

“Well, when you live like we do here, with death always knocking at your door, it is difficult to find something real. Of course, there are other ways to fill the void. In that way, I think we are alike, Rúmil. Wouldn’t you agree? You’ve loved and lost. I’ve never loved deeply. There is an emptiness that exists, is there not? And when it feels like the void has gotten too deep, that’s when we must do something or we will fall in. At least, that’s what it feels like to me. I’m standing on the edge of the abyss, and I can feel it pulling at me, telling me to jump, to give in.” As he spoke, his hands moved to the back of my shoulders, massaging my stiff muscles, loosening the tension that was too often part of me. “But there is always someone there to pull me away, and keep me from going in.”

“I know what you are saying, but I’ve managed to stay clear of the abyss,” I said, trying to maintain my composure, but his ministrations were easing me into oblivion. “And you cannot leave to find happiness elsewhere, just as I cannot abandon Lothlórien or my position in the army.”

“We stay because it is a part of us. We have a duty to others.” His breath touched my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. “But we must also find release.”

“Yes,” I agreed, eyes closed, hanging on every satiny word he said.

He turned me around, and when I opened my eyes, he was gazing at me with stormy eyes. “How long has it been, Rúmil?” He moved towards me, close enough that I felt the heat of his skin. It was beginning to be too much, the warmth of the wine, the heat of the water, and now Legolas’ closeness. I moved to the side of the pool and lifted myself out of the water so that I was sitting on the edge. The coolness of the air felt refreshing.

“It’s been long, since the night he left Lothlórien,” I answered.

“There’s been no one since then?” Legolas asked, almost sounding shocked at this discovery.

“I … I haven’t had much time to think about it. A couple days after Túron departed, I left for my first campaign as Captain, to patrol the borders. I was gone for almost a year, and when I came home, everything was … different. The whole fiasco that was the reason why Túron had to leave was still hanging over my head. The council wanted me for questioning again. There was another tour at the borders to consider, since activity was at an all-time high. I had men to prepare, and a witch hunt to avoid. I wasn’t home long when Haldir sent me on this mission.”

“Seems very stressful,” he said, moving to join me at the side of the pool. He reached out and took a lock of my hair between his fingers.

“I’d rather be killing orcs, to tell you the truth.” I was a little uncomfortable with his closeness, and me without any cover. I hadn’t even given it a second thought when I moved from the water. Perhaps I was beginning to conform to the Wood elf way of being comfortable in one’s own skin.

“Ah, now there’s a sight I would love to see. Rúmil of Lothlórien, bow raised, arrow nocked, his eyes trained on his enemy. I meant what I said earlier. There is a fearlessness about you that is very alluring.” He nudged my knees apart and stood between them. I felt the flesh and muscle of his toned body upon my skin.

“I guess you are right. After all, I was not afraid to punch you in the gut,” I reminded him, trying to get a handle on my emotions.

He smiled and cocked his head to the side. “That’s exactly what I mean. All you need is a little bit of freedom, and you turn completely wild, like a feral beast. Unleash those inhibitions, and who knows what might become of you.”

He was so close now, and his words lured me in. By the gods, he was absolutely gorgeous. “I’ve never had the opportunity to do so.”

“You do here, within Mirkwood. Be that untamed spirit. Let it all go. Set yourself loose to pursue the unknown. There is more to you than you’ve ever admitted to. It’s time to abandon control of everything they’ve taught you in Lothlórien, and just … be.” As he spoke, he leaned into me. We were face to face, and I didn’t care about anything but tasting his lips again. “I want you, Rúmil,” he whispered.

I knew he was waiting for me to make the first move, but I was still hesitant to initiate it. I didn’t deny him either, when his patience ran thin, and he gave up waiting and grasped me behind the neck, pulling me to his lips. I went willingly, and submitted to his kiss. This time, I allowed it. I wasn’t shocked by it. I moved with him, our lips sliding together, tongues caressing and tasting. He took more care to read me than he had at the practice fields. He would only take it another step further if I allowed it, and I gave my permission by pulling away from his lips, freeing them to move elsewhere. He smiled and a steamy gaze met my eyes before he moved down, tasting my neck and my shoulder. His hands slid down my arms, and his head dipped lower, tongue flicking over my chest. I threw my head back, and let him lead me into this blissful moment. Lower and lower he went, until his mouth found me, surrounded me, and sucked me in. It had been so long since anyone had touched me in that way, and what Legolas was doing was unbelievable. I couldn’t hold back. I didn’t want to. As a part of me tried to resist, my mind played tricks to convince me to let this moment happen, and suddenly I was imagining Túron. But it wasn’t him. It was Legolas, and by the gods he was good. My body’s reaction proved that fact. But I’d let Túron in, and I started to feel the guilt and the embarrassment leak into my thoughts. What was I doing here with a Wood elf, a race that had no morals, no control? I had told myself that I wouldn’t be seduced, that I wouldn’t be used, and I betrayed myself. Worst of all, I realized that I wanted this very much, and that I wanted Legolas. I was letting him control me, letting him prove that I wasn’t any different from him when it came to sexual desire. Wasn’t this supposed to involve emotions other than lecherousness? He was a stranger to me. He did not know my mind, but Valar help me, he knew my body, and for the moment that’s all that mattered. But my internal struggle dominated my ability to let go, and I knew I would regret my next move.

I pushed him and he released me, looking up at me through those long dark lashes. His lips were red and swollen from his work. My body ached for release, but I had to regain control. I couldn’t allow myself this unrestrained way of thinking. In Lothlórien, this would be my end if I behaved in such a rash manner. That’s how it was. That’s how it had always been. And I realized that I didn’t know how to let go as Legolas wished me to do.

“You must stop. I … I can’t,” I pleaded, my breath still heavy.

He smiled deviously. “I don’t believe you.”

“No … you’ve tricked me. You’ve played with my mind,” I accused, trying to justify my loss of control.

Legolas stood straight so that we were eye to eye again. “I didn’t do anything that you didn’t want done. Admit it, Rúmil. You want me just as much as I want you.”

“No,” I demanded. “I can’t want you. I can’t be with you. We are too different. You’re the King’s son, for Eru’s sake. It’s wrong.”

“Does it feel wrong?” His fingers caught my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes.

“Y … yes,” I stuttered, trying to convince myself, but doing a bad job of it.

Legolas looked down at my lap, licked his lips, smiled and rolled his eyes up to gaze at me. “Your cock would say otherwise.” He moved back to give me some space and continued. “Do you think I would just fuck anyone who crossed my path? Do you think I’m some deviant who doesn’t care where I shove my prick? If you do, then you misunderstand me, and I’m a little hurt by that.”

“I don’t know what to think of you. You play this game so well. You’ve made me think I could be like you.”

“Do you really think all you are … all you can be is a soldier of Lothlórien who must obey all the rules, sacrifice happiness, sneak around in the shadows, and dream of a normal life someday? Rúmil, I want to set you free. I want you to know that it doesn’t have to seem like such a dismal life. You have a right to be happy, to fall in love or lust, to have both if you so desire. When I met you, I sensed a tortured soul. But more than that, I was drawn to you. There’s something unique about you, something you haven’t discovered yet. You are beautiful, Rúmil, but your constraints dull your true nature.”

“My constraints?” I asked, curiously.

“Yes, you’re bound to your life in Lórien. Always do the right thing. Never show your love for another. Keep your true emotions hidden. Be careful who you open up to. How can you live like this and not be scarred? Well, we’re all scarred. You have lost your lover, but you still live as though he will be back tomorrow.”

“I live like this because I still have hope,” I argued.

“Alright, and what if he came back? Then what?” he asked seriously.

I was silent. I didn’t have an answer. What indeed. I knew Legolas was right. There could be no future for me, even if Túron were to come back. Yet, I felt a need to wait for him.

“Your silence is my answer,” Legolas said, and he climbed out of the pool. He walked to the stone bench and dried himself with a towel. “Look, what I’m offering you is not a commitment or a promise. It’s nothing but an escape, a chance for you to revisit what it is that makes you Rúmil. You are already tortured, that much I can see. It keeps you from your full potential. Release your ghosts, and live for today.” He dressed, but he carried his boots and walked barefoot through the bath house. When he reached the door, he turned and smiled. “Now you know what I want and how I feel. I’ll not force you to do anything you don’t want to. You’ll probably be leaving in the morning anyways. Take heed my words, Rúmil. You are so much more than what you’ve become. Live life to the fullest. You never know what tomorrow brings, especially now. Good night, Captain.” With that, he bowed and left.

I sat there at the edge of the pool, my emotions swirling around like the water at my feet. How was it that a simple Wood elf knew more about me than I knew about myself? For almost a year, I’d survived on a lie. Túron was gone and he wouldn’t be back, yet I went on thinking that it would all change. I would fight at the borders. The enemy would retreat, and with any luck, Túron would come back. I was a fool to think that. Legolas knew exactly what he was saying when he made me realize that even if Túron came back, it could never be. Sure, I tried to put him out of my mind, but I kept thinking that any moment … any day, I would look up and there he’d be. I was putting too much faith in this falsity, so much that I had been living in a fake world, biding my time for a day that would never come. This was no way to live.

So, what was I to do? Well, for starters, I would talk to the King in the morning, finish our conversation, force his answer, and leave. All of a sudden, going home didn’t seem so welcoming. What was I going home to? I really didn’t know this time. Another battle was probably taking place. My brother’s would be at the borders, fighting for our home and our freedom. I couldn’t join them. I’d have to wait for them to return. I would also have the council waiting for me to answer more questions about something that happened a year ago, long enough that it didn’t matter anymore. Only Raenor would keep this scandal alive. At least he had something to look forward to. I would go home and find no family, no troops, no … love. I would return to my false life and carry on as I always had.

I looked at the carafe of wine. There was still a bit left. “Shame to let it go to waste,” I said, and poured another glass, slipping back into the warm water. The heat surrounded my body, making me revisit the moment that had just played out here. Legolas' lips were so strong, just like him. He was so sure of himself. And he called me fearless? I couldn’t see it, but obviously he saw something in me that peeked his curiosity. By the gods, I’d been engulfed in his mouth not long ago. I throbbed to life just thinking about it. And just as I was beginning to let myself go, I closed that door too. I started to berate myself for stopping him. It had been so long since anyone had paid me any attention. And he was so good. His tongue, his lips, the amount of pressure he used … ai, he knew exactly what he was doing. What harm would have come if I’d let him finish me? Yet, if I had, I wouldn’t have learned the things he’d taught me about myself. And now, here I sat all alone.

I didn’t have to be, I told myself. How many elves get to experience the attentions of a Prince? Nothing held Legolas back. He was free to be himself. All elves of Mirkwood were. I’d always wished to know what it was like to not have to hide. Legolas was telling me I could have that experience if I wished. Why didn’t I? Because it was bred into me to behave like that. Again, he was completely right about my dedication to Lórien. I gave them my talent, my time, my very soul if it was needed, and in return I just had to pretend to be someone else.

Suddenly, I wanted to rebel. I wanted to be that beast Legolas said dwelled within me. Whether it was the wine or the residual lust of the previous moment, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. There was someone here that admired me, someone that wanted me, someone who saw my potential, and now I wished to show him everything. I was up and out of the pool before I knew what I was doing. I toweled off as quickly as I could and dressed.

My mind wasn’t thinking straight as I left the bath house in pursuit of the Prince, and after a few twists and turns, I was lost. I thought I remembered the way, but I was mistaken. The corridors all looked the same to me. Now, I roamed aimlessly, hoping to find something that looked familiar. It dawned on me that even if I could find my way back to the main hall, I wouldn’t know where to look for Legolas. I didn’t know his schedule or his routine. I didn’t even know where his private rooms were, having never been there before. I had missed my opportunity with the Prince. He was right there, I pushed him away, and now I couldn’t find him. This was surely my last night in Mirkwood. I’d be gone in the morning. Well, I said to myself, if it was truly meant to be . . .

“Are you lost?” someone asked from behind. I turned and found an elleth carrying a stack of clean rags.

I smiled, embarrassed to admit it. “I’m afraid I’ve made a wrong turn somewhere. Could you point me . . .” Point me where? I could ask her where Legolas’ room was. Would she tell me? Would she care? “. . . towards the guest quarters?” Damn it!

“Certainly,” she replied cheerfully, glad to be able to help. “You can walk with me until we get to the healing hall. That’s where I’m heading. From there, I’ll tell you where to go.”

“Thank you very much,” I said, following her down the hallway.

“New to Mirkwood?” she asked, making small talk.

“It’s my first visit. I’ve been here for a few weeks now, but I still don’t know my way around.”

“The palace was meant to be confusing to outsiders. Should there be an invasion–” she said sadly.

“Which I’m sure there will not be,” I interrupted to comfort her. “I’m a guest of the Prince, and I’ve come to know him. I believe you are very secure within the palace, much more so than if you were above ground.”

“You are from Lothlórien.” she said. “I can tell by your dress.”

“Yes, but I’ll be leaving in the morning.”

“Well, may the Valar watch over you so that you shall safely return to your home.” By now we were somewhere familiar. I recognized the torch lit hall of the healing rooms. The elleth gave me directions to the guest quarters. I thanked her and was on my way.

It was a good distraction, meeting the elleth and discussing general things and commonalities. It gave me a chance to let the wine work its way out of my system. I realized I was about to make a mistake with the Prince. I was close to giving myself to him, throwing caution away and to ‘just be’, as he put it. Perhaps I wasn’t ready to move on yet. As long as there was the slightest bit of hope within my heart, I wasn’t sure I could give up my dream of having a normal life. If it was fated to be, I’d still be in the bath house, but I chose differently. Whether I regretted that decision or not … well, a part of me did regret it. A part of me saw a chance to experience something I’d never have in Lothlórien. Just once, I wish I could know what it was like not to hide, to live out there amongst everyone else, to not be judged or held accountable for who I was. Should I have let it play out with Legolas?

I’d made it back to the guest quarters and started to turn the corner where my room was located. “Damn it all,” I whispered to myself, feeling the remorse for my hasty decision to turn him away. I should have just let things happen and then maybe . . .

“What took you so long? Got lost?” he said in that sexy voice with an irresistible smirk on his face.

Standing by my door was a sight that set every fiber of my being to flame. Legolas had his back to the wall, his head turned towards me, arms hanging at his sides and one foot propped up against the stone. He was still barefoot, I noticed … his boots sitting on the floor next to my door. His shirt was half way unbuttoned, and I could see his chest heaving as his breath quickened with anxiety. I didn’t say a word. I just marched down that hall, which suddenly seemed a thousand leagues long. And when I reached him, I stared into those stormy blue eyes. This was my second chance, and I would not throw it away this time. I captured his lips, kissing him hard and long. His hands went to my waist, but I took them and raised them above his head, pinning him to the wall. I pushed my hips against his, and we felt each other’s desire through our leggings. We were both ready, and not for a slow tender love session.

“I want you too, Legolas,” I said, responding to what he’d admitted back in the bath house. I pulled him from the wall, kicked open my door and took him inside my room. Our hands were all over each other, grasping at fistfuls of fabric, undoing buttons and untying leather laces. Out of pure frustration, I ripped his shirt from his body. Legolas only smiled deviously and shucked the torn shirt from his shoulders. We left a trail of clothes from the door to the bed, and found ourselves completely naked by the time we got there. We didn’t stop there, though. Legolas crawled onto the bed and I followed, straddling him, leaning down and kissing him desperately. There was no time for proper preparation. I wanted him fast and hard before I talked myself out of it again. There didn’t seem to be much chance of that. I was too far gone, taken by the lust and this gorgeous creature writhing beneath me. He looked only slightly taken aback by my insistence and leadership of the situation. I think Legolas was used to being the one in control, and this was not usually the way he performed.

I spit into my hand a few times, and forced him onto his hands and knees, readying both of us with only my saliva. “You said you wanted the beast,” I whispered from behind, sinking my teeth into his shoulder. “Careful what you wish for.” With that, I plunged into him, burying myself, taking pleasure in his cry of surprise. He was mine now, to do with as I pleased, and he submitted without complaint.

We spoke no words, only cries of passion filled the air as we took turns throughout the night. Legolas finished what he started in the bath house, and then I showed him my gratitude on multiple levels. It was amazing how good we were together, moving like a dance, bringing each other to the brink, pulling back, and then when it was nearly impossible to wait any longer, the passion of our lust blazed brighter than the sun. We pushed one another to our breaking points, never going further than the other was willing to go. Legolas would go quite far, and it allowed me to learn new things about myself, giving me an opportunity to take new steps towards being free of my life long restraints.

I’d never felt so relaxed in all my life. I had no worries at all. No one would come looking for me. No one would interrupt my blissful moment. No one would walk in and find me in a compromising position, and even if they did, it wouldn’t be my end. Maybe that was the reason why I pushed my limits with Legolas. He was a great teacher too, and I learned many things from him that night.

We were completely spent late into the night, and we fell to our slumber in my bed. I slept so sound, as I’d never rested before. The warmth of his body next to me was so comfortable. I loved the feel of his naked flesh against mine, and the fact that if I woke and wanted him, he would be ready. I know because I tried it once that evening. I dreamt of him, or rather, I revisited my memory of our previous session. He had fulfilled all my desires and expectations, my needs and my demands, and as a reward, I took him to new heights. We found ourselves unrestrained and peaked simultaneously. If it was possible to touch the stars, I think I might have been able to at that exact moment. As I woke from my dream, thinking of this, the desire to take him again was overpowering. With just a nip and a kiss, I stirred Legolas from his slumber and brought him standing so we could recreate the moment once again. There was no end to how high I could travel on this skyward path to ecstasy. I loved the control and to be controlled, but mostly, it was knowing that Legolas was not like this with just anyone. He’d been drawn to me specifically, for reasons I didn’t know until now. But this was only temporary. Tomorrow, I would leave for home, back to my secret life, hiding my true identity from those who could use it against me, and from family who wouldn’t understand. At least now, Haldir understood me, but I still couldn’t talk to him about it. We were, after all, soldiers, and I didn’t want to put any more strain on our relationship than was necessary.

“You’re not sleeping,” Legolas said groggily.

The sun was beginning to rise. I’m not sure how I knew except for the fact that I felt it in my bones. “I’ll have to go soon. I have that … meeting … with your father,” I said playfully.

“Yes, that irritatingly obnoxious meeting,” he answered with a sleepy smile. He rolled onto his side, facing me as I lay looking at the ceiling. “And when you get your answer . . .?”

“I’ll have to leave,” I said trying not to sound regretful.

“Must you?” Unlike me, Legolas did not try to hide his disappointment.

“I have to get back to Lothlórien. We are at war. I have troops to lead, and strategies to organize. I’ve already been here far longer than I ever anticipated.”

“And is that such a bad thing?” he said, his finger tracing a path down my chest, my stomach, and lower, dipping beneath the sheets.

“Well, maybe not now, not since you did that thing … with the thing,” I smiled. He’d taken me in his hand and was working me most deliciously.

“So you liked it when I took my thing and your thing, and put that thing–”

“Yes,” I laughed, rolling towards him and capturing his mouth with mine. I kissed him solidly, and then whispered against his lips. “I liked it all, Prince Legolas.”

“Normally I don’t like being called that, but there is something sexy about the way you say it.”

Our naked bodies pressed together as we kissed and caressed. I didn’t want to move from this spot, but I had to, and I pulled away from him. “You’re going to have to get up first.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m finding it extremely difficult to leave you here all alone in my nice warm bed.” I pushed him into the mattress and stretched out on top of him. I really wasn’t ready to face the day just yet. “Maybe one more time,” I whispered between kisses.

Legolas smiled deviously. “Shall I do that thing with my thing and use the thing on your thing?”

I just laughed and gave up on being an early riser.

* * * * *

I was finally up and dressed. Legolas was just finishing with his boots as I sat down at the looking glass to do my braids. I checked myself in the mirror, and found a mark upon my neck, the result of one of our more licentious sessions. “You’ve marked me,” I said.

“I have? Let me see.” Legolas approached me and looked at me through the mirror. “Ai, so I did. Sorry about that,” he said nonchalantly. 

“Sorry? That’s all you have to say? There is a big purple welt on my neck in a place where my collar will not cover it, and you’re sorry,” I complained, but not in a serious tone.

He pulled his collar away, exposing his long neck. “Would you like to mark me then? We’ll be even. Everyone will know that we slept together.” He threw his hand over his brow, mocking distress. “Oh, the horror of it all. What will happen when all of Mirkwood discovers that you’ve spent the night with the Prince?”

“Alright, enough,” I said, but he became serious.

“Really, do you know what will happen?”

“They’ll think I seduced you just to get you into my bed,” I guessed.

Legolas picked up a comb and began separating the hair at my temples to make braids. His eyes met mine through the looking glass, brilliant blue eyes that were the color of a cloudless mid-summer’s day. “They will be jealous and wish it were them.”

“Then they’ll say the Prince has added a new notch to his bedpost,” I said, regretting the words as they slipped from my lips.

His fingers stilled in my half-braided hair. I turned my eyes downward. I didn’t want to see his eyes if I’d hurt him. “I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly. “I shouldn’t have said–”

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” I looked up at him, and he had a faraway look on his face. He picked up where he left off with my braid, but he continued more slowly. “Day after day, I sit here beneath the hill, bored with nothing to do while my friends and fellow warriors risk their lives fighting the evil that closes in on us. All I can think is, I should be there with them. The guilt I feel is overwhelming at times. That’s when I go in search of someone who will help me forget it all.” His eyes darted to mine. “But it is not like that with you, Rúmil. You don’t make me forget. You make me want to fight. You give me strength. I can’t explain it, but when we make love, I feel like I can conquer the world.”

“You don’t have to conquer the world, just your father’s decision,” I told him.

“He won’t listen to any of my arguments. That’s why I approached your brother while he visited. I thought that if I couldn’t fight myself, I could organize something through others. If I cannot be there alongside my troops, then they should at least be able to contribute to the war. I’ve known for a while that Mirkwood needs Lothlórien just as much as they need us, and I could have been the one to lead my people along with the Captains of Lórien … but . . .” His words trailed off to silence.

I watched him in the looking glass, while he started another braid, and I realized he was doing it in the fashion of a Mirkwood warrior. I don’t think he meant to on purpose. His mind was on other things as he spoke to me about his problems with his father. There had to be more to that story than he originally led on. “What happened, Legolas? Why does Thranduil fear for his son’s life?” I’d seen him fight, when I accompanied him and the others to kill the orc party and capture their leader. He was nothing short of perfection when in combat. His arrows flew from his bow at record speed, and he could switch to hand to hand combat in the blink of an eye. I had seen him slaughter the orcs one after another, using his twin long knives. Flawless elvish blades flashed through the air so fast that it looked like sparks of lightening flying from his hands. He took off one of the orcs heads, his blade slicing through its neck as though it was made of paper. It was like watching an artist paint a canvas, or a poet constructing his words. Legolas was the best Mirkwood had, so why was his father keeping his most worthy weapon hidden away?

“Do you remember the soldier we saw in the healing hall, the one who was bitten on the leg?” he asked.

“Yes, the one whose leg they took to save his life.” I remembered it very well. I remembered Legolas most of all, when he comforted the young soldier, kept him from going into shock. I’d never seen anyone show such altruistic behavior towards someone they didn’t not know. It was as though there was some common knowledge between them, as though Legolas shared the soldier’s pain, and that could only be because . . .

“You were bitten once, weren’t you?” I asked with concern.

Legolas nodded. “While out on patrol with my troops, we were ambushed by a cluster of spiders. Almost half of my regiment was either dead or dying by the time it was all over. I’d been bitten on the arm. It was quick and the fangs did not sink in very far, but enough for it to administer its poison. My men surrounded me, and discussed their plans for getting me back to the palace quickly. But in doing so, they would have to abandon some of the others that needed attention faster than me. I ordered them to take the others first. I could still walk with a little help. The poison was spreading, but not as fast as it was in other injured elves. I wouldn’t be placed on a liter and carried back by ten men, when they could save ten more. Needless to say, I made it back to the palace, though during the final stretch, I had lost consciousness and had to be carried. It didn’t matter. Quite a few elves were saved because of my orders. My father was furious, though. At first, he berated my troops for their impetuous behavior, until I told him that they acted upon my orders. That was the last thing I said before I went unconscious. When I awoke, a week had passed, and my arm was badly discolored and bandaged. The infected flesh had been removed and salves had been applied that would allow new skin to develop. That’s why there is no scar. It was a long and painful recovery, but it worked. And it was worth every torturous moment, because all but two of my soldiers who were poisoned survived.”

He had finished braiding my hair while he told his story. Now he went to my bed and sat on the edge, memories flashing before his unseeing eyes. I could tell this was painful for him to remember, but I could also see that he needed to tell someone his story. I got the feeling Legolas had never discussed this with anyone. “But you survived. You made a full recovery. You made the best decision you could at the time, and saved others in the process. Why would your father punish you for that?”

“Because during my week long healing sleep, I died twice,” he answered.

I was shocked to hear this. “You … died?”

He nodded. “They say my heart stopped beating. Somehow, the healers managed to bring me back both times, some kind of technique that they’d studied in some lost archives or what not. I don’t really remember the details, but whatever it was, it worked, and I am still here. However, the experience left my father shattered. Twice he thought he’d lost his son and only heir. I think it put everything in perspective somehow. He had watched my grandfather, King Oropher, die in combat. He had found my mother’s lifeless body, left beaten and bloody from the orcs who found her alone in her garden. And then he watched as his only son slipped through his fingers. It had been too much for him, and if I died, Thranduil would be alone in this world. So, after that, he put restrictions on leaving the palace and how far our soldiers should patrol the surrounding area. He took away my Captain position, and ordered me to assume a position in his court. I wasn’t allowed to patrol anymore. I wasn’t allowed above ground for a very long time, not until I convinced him that it was making me sick to stay away from sunlight for so long, which it truly was. I was escorted on weekly outings. It was during this time that I started recruiting some of my old troop members, including Corweth and her sister, Messel, to come up with a plan that would possibly free all of us. As a member of the court, I had a little flexibility and pull. That’s how your brother was given permission to come to Mirkwood. He was introduced to my father, and eventually they built a trust between them. And all the while, he knew about my plan. When he told me that he was seeking help from Mirkwood to fight against the dark tower of Dol Guldur, I knew this was our chance to fight back … to take back that which belongs to my father and to all who dwell in Mirkwood.”

“But your father is beyond stubborn about it all,” I said, realizing just how much Legolas had to accomplish just to get this far.

“He’d rather stay here, below the hill, than reach out to help other realms. He says it is too risky, that our numbers are too low to contribute to the cause. He thinks it will be the end of his kingdom and his people, and that’s all he has left.”

I took a seat on the bed next to Legolas, and kissed his cheek. “He still has you too. Thranduil wouldn’t go to such lengths to protect you if he didn’t care. He loves you so much that his fear of losing you has impaired his judgment. I understand him a bit better now. Yes, he’s stubborn, but for good reason. But you are right, Legolas. Mirkwood cannot afford to stay out of things. Dol Guldur must be taken. The orcs must be pushed back and your forest must be cleansed. If we don’t work together, we will all lose.”

“It was all my fault that the trust between Haldir and my father was broken. If I hadn’t let the creature out . . . But I felt for him because I could put myself in his place, locked away, no sun, no moon, no fresh air, no one to listen. I looked into the creature’s pitiful eyes and saw myself,” he confessed. “That’s why I ordered him to be allowed one night beneath the stars. I didn’t think it would do anyone any harm.”

“It’s not your fault, Legolas. I would have done the same thing if I was put in your position. We’re all bound in one way or another, aren’t we?” I smiled and stood from the bed. “I have to go. It’s time.”

“Do you really think you can convince my father to join Lórien?” he asked.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, but I will do all that I can to make that happen. In the end, it is up to your father.”

As Legolas and I walked the corridors in silence, making our way to the throne room, I thought about what I’d told him, and I suddenly felt very helpless. I could talk to Thranduil until my lungs ached and my throat turned to dust, but none of that would matter if he refused to listen. It really was the King’s final decision, and it could mean the life or death of this realm.

When I first arrived here, I didn’t care a thing about the Wood elves. I saw this trip as my own punishment, and all of this was just a nuisance. But as I’d gotten to know some of them, especially Legolas, I started to understand them, and I realized that Wood elves were the most misunderstood elves of Middle-earth. They weren’t uncaring arrogant hoarders of fortune who didn’t want to participate in the outside world. They were the most passionate people I’d ever met, willing to sacrifice their freedom as they tried to protect and preserve their race. They deserved better, and I would do everything within my limited power to see that it was done.


	6. Chapter 6

The King’s private audience chamber, here I was again. Somehow, the room felt bigger, more intimidating than yesterday. Had it only been yesterday that I was here? It felt like an age. Time seemed to slow drastically when I was with Legolas last night. Or maybe I wished it would stop altogether. For once, I had no worries. I allowed myself to clear all thoughts of the world from my head, and devote myself to him. For one night, he had me, mind and body, but that time was over. Now I must finish what I came here to do. I had to get Thranduil to agree to join Lothlórien and fight Dol Guldur.

“How soon will you leave?” Legolas asked. He stood beside me in the king’s chamber as we waited for his father to arrive. I believed that making me wait was part of Thranduil’s strategy. Yesterday, this might have bothered me, angered me, thrown me off my game. Now, I felt like I had all the time in the world, but I knew I didn’t. I just needed to behave as though I did.

“I’ll have to go right away if I want to be clear of the dangerous areas of the forest before nightfall,” I answered. I wondered who, if any, would escort me out as they had escorted me in. No matter, I’d find my way.

“I shall go with you,” Legolas said, making his mind up.

I glanced at him, and he looked so regal here, in this room, amongst the tapestries and bearskin rug. He could be a king someday, and he’d make a damn fine one too. I could see why Thranduil feared to lose him. “You can’t. You have to stay here,” I responded, knowing his father would never allow it, and finding that I kind of agreed with him.

He started to protest, but stopped himself as the door to the chamber began to open. One of the King’s servants pushed the door and held it open. A moment later, Thranduil came in. Right away, I could see that worry sat upon his brow. Had something changed since we met last? Had he heard something about the outside world?

“Captain Rúmil, I must say, you look quite refreshed this morning. I take it you’ve been treated well?” Thranduil said.

“I have, Your Grace, most respectably, and I thank you for your kindness,” I answered.

Thranduil stood still, only his eyes moving as they turned to the Prince. “You should be thanking my son. Seems as though he’s the one who’s been taking good care of you.”

That stung a bit, but I had to remind myself that it was perfectly acceptable in Mirkwood to . . .

“I don’t think it is any of your business what transpired between Rúmil and I,” Legolas shot back.

I knew what Thranduil was trying to do, but I wouldn’t let him distract me from my mission. I put a hand on Legolas’ arm, signaling to him that it was alright, and that I could handle myself. I looked Thranduil squarely in the eye and smiled graciously. “Everyone in Mirkwood has been most accommodating,” I said graciously. “Now, I believe we have some matters to discuss.”

“We have,” Thranduil said. “But first, you should know that I received information about Lothlórien.”

My heart went to my throat. This was unexpected. I was instantly worried, but I had to remain calm. “What have you heard?”

“Ah, seems the tables are turned now, aren’t they,” Thranduil said arrogantly. “We both have information that the other wants, and you want an answer from me. So, let’s see, who will speak first? I think it should be you, since you are our guest.”

“What’s happened in Lothlórien?” I demanded desperately.

“First, you will tell me what the orc said.”

I didn’t like this one bit. If something happened at home, I should be informed right away. How dare he withhold it from me? I could see I had lost my advantage. I would have to tell him all that I knew before he gave me an answer about Dol Guldur. “The creature was brought to you to keep safe. Mithrandir charged you with this task, not because of what he was, or because he was a danger to others, but because of something he knew.”

“Yes, yes. I already know this. The creature knew the whereabouts of a weapon of the enemy,” Thranduil said impatiently.

“And I presume you know what this weapon was?” I asked.

Thranduil’s eyes flicked to Legolas, and then back to me. “It was a ring.”

“Not just any ring. THE Ring. The One Ring. The one bound to Sauron’s evil soul. You know this too, don’t you?” I accused. I could see Legolas out of the corner of my eye, hands balling into fists, and then relaxing.

“How did you know, Father? Did you interrogate the creature?” Legolas asked.

“I did not torture him, if that’s what you mean,” Thranduil said impatiently. “Gollum would mumble and talk to himself. At first I just thought it was nonsense, but later I learned that there was meaning behind all the chatter. I would go down to the cells late at night and listen to him from the shadows. He was always talking about someone taking his birthday present, and say how precious it was. But the key to breaking the code was deciphering certain words. Beautiful, shining, smooth. He would use these randomly to describe his present. He would repeat over and over that HE couldn’t have it. I had no idea who Gollum was talking about until I started to solve the puzzle, that the present he spoke of was the ring, and that HE was Sauron. I started to think about the wizard’s involvement. Mithrandir had not had dealings with Mirkwood in an age, and suddenly he’s shows up with some pitiful little monster, telling me I must help him. He wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t something unusually important. Add that to Gollum’s information, and I figured out why Mithrandir wanted the creature. He wanted to find out where the ring was. But I had the prisoner under my roof.”

“And you wanted him to tell you where the ring was so you could have it for yourself,” I said, figuring out part of the mystery.

“Why Father?” Legolas called out. “Did you want it for its value or did you want to use it against the enemy?”

“I wanted to protect my kingdom, and what better way than to use such a powerful thing against its owner,” Thranduil answered with a heightened degree of anger.

“And that’s why you want to know what the orc told me,” I said, finishing the puzzle. “You never found out what the creature knew. The orcs kidnapped him before you could extract anything from Gollum.”

“And now you know, and you will tell me,” Thranduil said, rounding on me.

“I do know, but first I want to hear about Lothlórien.” I had a bit of leverage back, and I would use it in any way possible.

Thranduil was cornered once again, and he looked very unhappy about it. He was considering what to do, and I could see in his eyes that he’d made a decision. “Lothlórien’s borders have been attacked in the North. One of the largest armies of orcs to ever have assailed the Golden Woods has caused considerable damage.”

“Have they broken through?” I asked desperately.

“They have been contained, but it is said that the damage is great, with casualties … and deaths.” Thranduil’s voice turned from harsh to soft as he delivered the information.

“And my brothers? Have you heard anything about them?” I didn’t care about anything but my family in that moment. If I had lost Haldir or Orophin, or … Valar help me … both . . .

“It was Haldir who sent the message. He is well, but your brother, Orophin was injured.”

“Injured? How so? Will he survive?” The distress in my voice could not be helped. I could not hide my concern for family.

“Tell me, Captain,” Thranduil said, drawing out my anxiety. “If you knew your brother was dying, and that … say … this ring was the only thing that could save his life, wouldn’t you do everything in your power to obtain it?”

“Father!” Legolas called out, embarrassed and angry.

“I would,” I answered quickly, because it was true. I would do whatever needed to be done in order to save my brother.

“Then you are no different than me, Captain Rúmil. You, like your brother Haldir, like to pretend you are better than any Wood elf, but we are more alike that you’ll ever admit. My people are dying, and I will do anything to save them. That’s why I wanted to know about the ring and its power. That’s why I would have kept the creature, and not given him back to the wizard until he had told me where to find the weapon. And that’s why you will tell me what you know.”

Thranduil had me trapped. He wouldn’t tell me the fate of Orophin until I had told him everything the orc confessed. But I was not done yet, and Thranduil would not be happy with what I had to tell him. He would undoubtedly refuse to help Lothlórien, but that didn’t matter to me now.

“The orcs took Gollum to Dol Guldur, where they chained him, beat him, burned him with iron rods. They tortured him until he spoke. The ring is no longer in the creature’s possession. It hadn’t been in many years. He lost it a very long time ago, but he knew who had it, or at least he knew only a single name. He said a Hobbit tricked him and took the ring. The enemy knows this now. The Nazgûl have been sent out to search for the Hobbit and the ring. It has left the Shire. Last the orc heard, it was taken to Bree. The Nazgûl were dispatched. They’ll kill anyone who has the ring, and anyone who protects its bearer. You’d be wise to forget about the weapon, King Thranduil, or bring even more death to your doors.” There, I’d told him everything, but there was one thing I didn’t think he was aware of. “The ring has been here before, in Mirkwood. It passed through here right beneath your nose, and you hadn’t a clue.”

Thranduil thought for a moment, and I watched as realization filled his eyes. “Bilbo Baggins,” he uttered.

I nodded. “Fifty years have passed since then, and the Hobbit has had it all this time.”

“And does he still have it?” asked the King.

“I don’t know. I would think he would be very old by now, and traveling to Bree would be extremely difficult. Perhaps he’s given it away.”

“No,” Thranduil said, slowly shaking his head. “A ring like that has the power to latch onto its bearer. Gollum had it for many centuries, he said, until he lost it. Bilbo would have done the same or he would have passed it on to the next generation.” He paused and looked at me. “Did the orc say it was Bilbo who had the ring?”

“Gollum only gave one name, and that was Baggins. They’ll be looking for anyone by that name.”

Thranduil walked to the hearth, put his hand on the mantel and bowed his head as he looked into the flames. He looked defeated by this information. He must have thought that Gollum hid the ring somewhere where he could go back and retrieve it once he was free of Mirkwood’s cells. And all this time, Gollum didn’t have it at all.

“So that’s why Mithrandir wants him. He wanted the name of the Hobbit, but the creature would not talk before the wizard was called away. He brought Gollum here because of our isolation. He didn’t think I would know anything about Gollum or the ring, and he was right. It’s only because of the nonsensical ramblings of the creature that I suspected any of this.”

“Now, tell me about my brother,” I demanded.

Thranduil turned his back towards the hearth, and played with an emerald ring on his forefinger, twisting it back and forth. “Orophin’s injuries were not life threatening. A few lacerations to his arm was all. He will be just fine.”

I closed my eyes and released my breath. “Thank the Valar,” I whispered while bowing my head.

While I took a moment to let the good news sink in, Legolas approached his father to confront him. “When was the last time Lothlórien’s borders were breached, Father? I can’t remember a single time in my own lifetime. We can’t keep fighting alone. We can’t stay here and hope that the world outside will solve all the problems. We have to go out. We have to join forces and march on Dol Guldur. Rúmil said that the Nazgûl have been sent out to find the ring. Now is the time to attack the black tower. You say you would do anything to save your people. Now it has come to this, and it will take all of our people to save what’s left of the kingdom. You have an army, and, on your word, they are ready to march south.”

Thranduil observed his son’s face, seeing the willingness, the bravery of a fine warrior. “I know, Son, and I’ve heard what our people have been saying. I’ve tried very hard to ignore the criticism, because I cannot stand the thought of sending you back out there. I almost lost you, Legolas. I felt the pull of my fading when I held your lifeless body in my arms. Your grandfather and your mother are gone, and you are all that I have left.”

“I’m the best defense you have. You know as well as I that I should be out there fighting beside my fellow soldiers, not sitting here as a member of your court. I’m a warrior. It’s what I do best. Send our troops to Lothlórien, and let me go with them. I swear to you that I’ll return to Mirkwood, and that Dol Guldur will cease to exist.”

The final decision sat upon Thranduil’s brow as he came to his full height and approached me. “I am glad to know that your brothers are well, Captain. And I’ll trust that you’ll do what you can to see that my son returns to me the same. You have my army and my support for this cause. Dol Guldur must be destroyed. It’s time that Mirkwood came back into the light.”

All the waiting, all the anxiety, the convincing and the hope that I was doing the right thing had finally come full circle. I don’t know how I managed, but I know I didn’t do it alone. Legolas, Haldir, and the countless Wood elves who silently disagreed with their King, but stood by his side anyways, they had paved the way and made it possible for me to complete my mission.

I placed my hand over my heart and bowed low to the elven king. “Thank you, Your Grace.”

Thranduil went to his desk to begin the paperwork that would verify his decision. I would take this back to Lothlórien, and then we would send word when it was time to march to war. Lothlórien and Mirkwood would meet on the battlefield and the enemy would not stand a chance. While Thranduil was busy, Legolas pulled me aside, smiled and patted my shoulder. “I guess the next time we meet will be in battle.”

“And so it will be,” I smiled in return. Finally, I could return home. Now more than ever I wished to get back, and see how Orophin was doing, see to my troops, regroup and prepare for the war.

There was a loud rapid knock on the door, and Thranduil called in a messenger, who looked very anxious and stressed. He handed a parchment to the King, and stood by to wait. I knew a thing or two about messengers, and when they waited by your side, it usually meant that an immediate response was needed. That was never a good thing. Something was happening.

“What is it, Father?” Legolas asked.

Thranduil seemed to read the note again before he answered anyone. He looked up at the messenger first. “Tell the Captains to prepare the troops. They have one hour.”

The messenger nodded and bolted from the office to deliver his news. Legolas and I looked on, waiting for Thranduil to say something. “There’s something happening. Orcs are trying to cross the river, a large amount of orcs, too. I believe they are answering us for what we did to the group of orcs that we killed. This must be dealt with before they find a way across the river.” Thranduil looked at me next. “I’m afraid now is not a good time to begin your journey home. I suggest you stay with us a little while longer, until the threat has been reversed.”

My heart fell again. I’d been waiting for this day. Everything had gone according to plan, and now this. But it was better that it was happening now and not as I made my way through the Rhovanion. “If you will agree, Your Grace, I would like to lend my bow to the cause and join Legolas with his regiment.”

Thranduil glanced at his son. He had agreed to let Legolas go with the Mirkwood army to Dol Guldur. There’d be no reason not to let him fight now. “You may, Captain. Legolas, see that he has everything he needs.”

Legolas bowed to his father, and then grabbed my arm. “Come on, let’s go,” he said pulling me out of the King’s chamber. We exited through the door that led out to the main throne room, and were halfway across the stone bridge that led to the halls, when Legolas stopped. He took my head in his hands and drew me in, kissing me. I could feel him smiling against my lips before he released me. It was unexpected, though it felt wonderful. I looked around the great hall from my vantage point. Every elf within the grand room could see us, and some looked on. Others were busy dashing here and there, but more than half stopped to see who their Prince was kissing. I still wasn’t used to behaving in such a manner in public, and I suddenly felt like I wanted to shrink up to the size of a grain of sand and disappear. Legolas’ brilliantly blue eyes were alive with a joy I hadn’t seen yet. “Thank you, Rúmil, for all that you’ve done. Mirkwood will finally have the chance they’ve been waiting for. I don’t know what happened back there, but I honestly never thought my father would agree.”

“I wasn’t too sure myself,” I said, still reeling from the kiss. I don’t think he knew what kind of affect he had on someone. Everything Legolas did was done with passion. I couldn’t wait to see him in battle again. “But it wasn’t all my doing. You saw past your guilt for all that had happened, and you stood up to your father.”

“Perhaps that’s what he was waiting for me to do. Who knows? All I know is that we’re going to battle with Lothlórien, our best chance at destroying the enemy.” He kissed me again, this time with more than just joy. I had to admit, it was quite freeing to behave like this without worry.

“Alright you two. Plenty of time for that after our victory.” Corweth was calling to us from across the way. We looked up to find her and her sister, Messel, dressed in their battle gear. We finished crossing the bridge and joined them.

“Did you hear about the orc raid?” Messel asked.

“Yes, heard it straight from the messenger,” Legolas said. “And I have even better news, but you mustn’t say anything before the official announcement. We’re going to Dol Guldur.”

Corweth looked at me, still with a bit of judgment. “I gotta admit, I had my doubts about Legolas’ plan, and after meeting you, I didn’t think you had it in you to turn the King’s mind. Congratulations, Captain.”

I was shocked to hear her sound so sincere. “Thank you,” I smiled. Corweth and I had never seen eye to eye before. Perhaps there was still a chance that – 

“I still think you’re an arrogant son of a bitch, but you’ve got guts,” she added.

Well, perhaps some things should not be pursued.

I followed Legolas as far as the guest quarters, where I stopped to retrieve my bow and my armor. He waited for me, and watched as I put on my thick leather chest plate and vambraces. He smiled and laughed when I was dressed.

“It’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

“It’s called protection. Why? What do Mirkwood elves use for armor?” I asked.

“If you’re as smart and quick as a Wood elf, you don’t need armor,” he said proudly. “All that … leather … it weighs you down, makes you slow.”

“All this armor,” I said gesturing to my chest and arms, “has saved my life a few times.” I looked at his simple suede jerkin, undershirt and leggings with a questioning glare. “Surely you’ll wear something more than that.”

He prowled towards me, tilted my chin up and kissed me hard. “Well, at least I’ll have fun striping you of your armor after we’re victorious. Perhaps I’ll use only my teeth.”

“In that case, I should have thought to bring my cod piece,” I said, biting his lower lip until he winced.

We released each other, remembering that there wasn’t much time before we marched out, but his eyes stayed fervently on me. “I know you were anxious to leave, Rúmil, but I’m glad your departure has been postponed a few more days.”

“There was a time I never thought I’d say this, but so am I.” I checked the straps of my armor once more and grabbed my bow. “Nothing like a bit of frivolous flirting to get the blood going and the mind ready for battle.”

“Frivolous? Did you think I was making a jest about using my teeth?” he said, and he left my room.

I don’t think there had ever been a time that I so looked forward to a battle before; not only that, but what would happen once we were through. It amazed me how easily I felt about going out to fight orcs. I mean, all soldiers worry. No one wants to die or get seriously injured, but my confidence level was higher than it had ever been. It was like just another day of going to my office to file reports, only my office was a dangerous dark forest, and I was using my bow instead of a quill and ink. I think it was Legolas’ own undaunted attitude that reflected back on me. He was completely impervious to what awaited us at the river. It was like that with all the Wood elves. They were so carefree and fearless. They had a job to do, they would do it, and they would return home. No one worried about not coming back. They’d deal with that when the time came, and none of them seemed to think it was their time. Some might call it overconfidence, but it had worked for them all these years. The more I learned about the Wood elves, the more I liked it here, even with the spiders and other nasty things.

* * * * *

I was surprised that I had gotten the hang of traveling through the trees. The Wood elves moved much more gracefully than me, but I managed to keep up. I remembered coming here, following Corweth and Messel, falling behind, and the reprimanding looks that the sisters constantly gave me. But I was a bit different now than I had been when I first arrived in Mirkwood.

It was amazing to watch them run along the boughs, leaping from branch to vine, swinging to the next tree, and then traveling as though they walked on solid ground. It took me a bit more concentration, but I was proud of my footing. At least I didn’t fall. That would have been disastrous. Legolas kept an eye out for me, though, and for that reason, I made sure to keep my balance.

I loved watching him move through the trees, long legged, tall and handsome as he was, he made it look effortless. I’d meant it when I told him I was happy to stay a little while longer. Everything about him was contagious, his smile, his sexy stare, the way he seduced me so easily. Who knew what would happen between us if I stayed permanently in Mirkwood. I wouldn’t, of course. My place was definitely in Lothlórien, but I was already planning on visiting this place again. Perhaps that’s what Haldir found here too, freedom to be who we were. As long as he kept his freedom away from Legolas, I smiled to myself.

“Having fun yet, Captain?” Messel said as she came up next to me.

“The most I’ve had in years, as a matter of fact. It feels good to be amongst the trees again. The palace is beautiful, but I prefer the fresh air.”

“Hopefully, we will all be able to enjoy life topside soon,” she said sounding just a bit skeptical.

“This is why it is so important for every one of the free people of Middle-earth to fight for what they believe in. Sauron cannot win this war,” I encouraged.

We moved along, traveling together for a while before she spoke again. “The Prince seems to have taken a real liking to you. I haven’t seen him this happy in many years, not since his terrible accident.”

“The poisoning, yes, he told me. He is very lucky to be alive. And Thranduil loves his son very much or he wouldn’t have gone to such lengths,” I said.

“It seemed unfair, but I understood why he did it. But it also hurt Legolas tremendously. His whole life he’s trained as a soldier. When his father ordered him to the palace and the court, it was like taking his arms. That part of him was gone, but the ghostly feelings still existed. It’s because of you that he has his life back as a warrior. When our people learned that the Prince was to be our Captain again, everyone’s moral was boosted. You’ll have one unstoppable army of Wood elves by your side when the time comes.”

Orders came from up ahead to halt, and Messel and I stopped. I was glad for the break. I needed to replenish my energy. Even Messel seemed out of breath, and she did this kind of thing every day. I took out my water skin and offered it to her, but she refused, bringing out her own. We drank and caught our breath while waiting for orders to continue forward. I just hoped there wasn’t trouble yet. The river was still quite a ways away.

“Legolas really likes you, Rúmil,” she said again, as though it worried her.

“As I’ve gotten to know him, I’ve found that I like him too. We have much in common, and he is a great friend,” I answered to ease her mind.

“I think he considers you as more than a friend. I … I don’t mean to intrude, but … well … it’s obvious that something has transpired between the two of you, something more than friendship. You don’t have to deny or confirm. I just know what I see, the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. Just be careful, Captain Rúmil. Legolas is very precious to us. We would hate to see his heart broken.”

“I wouldn’t think of hurting him. He holds a very special place within my heart. But at the same time, we have talked about it, and we have an understanding. The reality is … Legolas is a Prince, and he is bound to a life in Mirkwood where he might someday sit on the throne. And I am dedicated to Lothlórien, to my Lord and Lady of Light, and to the army. Legolas knows I must leave and go back home. But, of course, there is always the possibility that I’ll come back this way in the near future. I know I was a little put off when we first met, but Mirkwood really is a unique place, and I would like to get to know it better.”

Messel smiled, satisfied with my answer. “Good, I’m glad you both understand, because if anything were to ever happen, and my sister found out . . . Well, let’s just say, I wouldn’t want to be in your boots.”

“Well, yes, your sister does scare me a bit, but you may assure her that everything will be just fine, and that once I go home, your Prince will still be mentally intact.” She laughed at my comment.

“Rúmil, a word?” Legolas said, coming up from the branches below us.

“Have you heard any news?” I asked.

“The scouts have returned. They’ve been to see the border guards, and it looks like we need to hurry. Orcs have suddenly increased in intelligence it seems. They are trying to cross the river with ropes and rafts.”

I remembered when I first came here. Corweth used the same method to cross the river, using the boat that they kept hidden with a camouflaging blanket. “They didn’t find the boat, did they?” I asked. Legolas looked confused for a moment, and Messel clarified, telling him about my misadventures. When she was done telling him every last detail, they both laughed.

“You touched the water?” Legolas smiled deviously, teasing me as he liked to do when he knew I was discomfited.

“Corweth warned him,” Messel added.

“I’d been shot in the leg and thrown forward,” I defended myself. “And besides, Corweth did not warn me about the water.”

“You know now, though, so I don’t need to warn you,” Legolas said. He kissed me quickly, but his eyes lingered on mine a moment longer. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

I could feel my face heat with embarrassment, and I knew I turned multiple shades like a chameleon. Legolas ignored my flustered state. “We can travel below. No orcs were spotted on this side of the river. This will be faster. We have to hurry. The group of border guard at the river banks is not many. They’ll be outnumbered if the orcs are successful.” He grabbed the closest vine and slid down with one hand, his feet running along the tree trunk as he went. How was he able to move with such ease and agility?

“I told you he liked you … a lot,” Messel said as she, too, slid down the vine. I was next, but I used both hands. Falling would not be a smart thing to do right now.

* * * * *

Finally, we were getting close to the river. I could hear the rushing water. Everyone readied their weapons, and so did I. I was waiting for Legolas to start giving commands, but he never did. So, how would the troops know where to go and what to do? I wondered, but no orders ever came. Suddenly, Wood elves started running off in different directions, each choosing where they would go. Legolas stood and watched to see where his troops went, as though he was making a mental map. His eyes were intense as he concentrated. Soon, there were no elves in plain sight, except for the two of us. He looked at me, blue flames burning within the brilliant irises, ready to answer the call to battle.

“And now the fun begins. Watch and learn, Captain, and see how the Wood elves defeat their enemy,” he said with passion. Then he ran towards the trees that ran along the edge of the river, and I followed him.

We crouched behind a group of rocks, out of sight from the orcs. Legolas peered around the edge, his elven sight taking count of the enemy across the fast flowing water. He watched for what seemed like a long time, and when he sat back down next to me, he was smiling.

“And just what is so amusing?” I asked.

He laughed quietly. “There’s a row of about ten bodies laid out at the river’s edge. In their attempts to cross the river, they seem to have been rather unsuccessful. Clumsy oafs have fallen under the water’s spell. The bad news is, there’s a small army of them waiting their turns. And they’ve somehow managed to get a rope to the other side.”

“That’s not good. They’ll start coming across on their rafts,” I said, and wondered how he didn’t find this situation urgent. “If we cut the rope on this side of the river–”

“And where’s the fun in that?” he said lightheartedly.

“I don’t think you understand the severity of the situation here,” I argued. This was ridiculous. Legolas behaved as though this was no more than a training exercise. Maybe Thranduil was right to confine him to the palace. His lack of respect for battle would get him killed.

Legolas looked around the rocks again, and spoke of what he saw. “Well, you may be right. There’s three rafts with about ten orcs each crossing right now.”

“What!” I exclaimed.

“Shall we let them come ashore or let them sail downriver?” he asked casually, as though he was choosing a wine to go with a meal.

“You have a chance to destroy them while they’re on water, and you’d let them come ashore?” I asked angrily. “This isn’t a game, Legolas. These are murderous creatures that would rip your heart from your chest and eat it while it was still beating.”

“You’re right. Time to set sail, then,” he smiled.

I was completely flabbergasted by his demeanor. He was making this into some kind of joke. “What kind of preposterous, foolhardy–”

He interrupted me with a loud whistle that sounded like a bird call, and never took his eyes off me as he did so. He was answered by a similar whistle and he smiled. “Watch,” he whispered.

I was almost afraid to take my sight off of the Prince, afraid of what other kind of foolish thing he might do. But my curiosity got the better of me, and I looked out from behind our hiding spot. There were three rafts, lengths of wood tied together by vines, and each one had at least ten orcs on it. Across the way, there were three more makeshift rafts waiting to be launched, and plenty of orcs to ride them. It seemed like an easy enough shot. The rope anchored between the shores could be easily severed by an arrow, and they would have no way across. So, I set my eyes to watch the rope, waiting to see it give and set the orcs on a rafting trip that they were bound not to survive. Two more bird calls went out, and I waited. Then suddenly, the first raft of orcs became unruly. They were beginning to panic, looking down at the flimsy boat carrying them. That’s when I heard Legolas utter something in elvish under his breath. I only caught a word here and there, something about the orcs sticking their cocks in their own mouths and . . .

Suddenly, the boat started to just fall apart. The wooden logs separated and drifted out from under the orcs. At first, I thought the vines they’d used to tie them together came undone. The orcs scrambled to hold the logs together, but it was no use. The whole raft of creatures went into the river. They didn’t even struggle once they were immersed in the enchanted water. They just went limber and the rushing waters carried them away. Meanwhile, the two remaining boats stopped and watched. Some started checking the ties, some just laughed and pointed to their fallen comrades. An orc on the shore called out an order, and the boats started moving forward again. Then their captain gave another command, and the boats waiting to be launched were given a good once over to make sure they would not fall apart.

Legolas whistled again, this time sounding like a different kind of bird. There was no answer, but suddenly a second boat started to fall apart. The orc captain yelled at them to keep it together, but it did little good. There was an outbreak of confusion on their side of the shore, and they were focused on the faulty boats. More orcs were rolling into the water, and the captain started yelling and calling for the heads of the orcs responsible for building the boats. Legolas whistled a third time. About the same time that I realized his whistles were signals, so did one of the orcs in the third boat, which was beginning to come apart. I saw him pull something out of one of the logs and yell back to the shore before going into the water … ‘zan’ … I believe the orcish word for elf.  
“They know it was elves,” I told Legolas, but when I turned to him, he was already sprinting away. I followed him quickly, always keeping an eye on the far shore.

“How were you able to do that?” I asked once I’d caught up to him.

“Specially made darts with razor sharp heads that slice. The orcs used vines, not rope, to make their boats. These darts were made to cut those vines. It’s a technique we use when hunting things in the woods. Mostly, we use it to cut the mooring lines of the giant spider webs. Destroy those, and their webs fall apart. And their small enough to go undetected.” He was quite proud of himself.

“Aren’t you worried in the least that the orcs discovered your trick?” I worried.

“That was just a distraction. While they were focused on the boats, the rest of my warriors made their way further upstream. There’s a place where the trees grow tall and wide, spreading their branches over the river. They will have crossed to the other side by now, completely undetected by the enemy. By the time they realize what is happening, they will be surrounded by elves. Now hurry, Rúmil. I’ve waited a long time to join the battle. I’ll not miss it now. Follow me.”

He didn’t give me a chance to protest or ask more questions, and he was running along just inside the tree line that followed the shore. We made it just as the last of the elves were crossing high up in the canopy. It was a long climb to the tops of the trees, but once there, we would be impossible to see. I was looking up, trying to judge the distance when Legolas spoke.

“You’d go much faster and easier without that confining armor,” he said while taking hold of a vine that hung to the forest floor. I knew he was right. The way Wood elves traveled and fought required as much agility as one could muster. But I’d never fought without it before.

Legolas handed me a vine while I stood by contemplating whether or not I should abandon my armor. “When you’re ready, just do as I do. It’s a trick I use to get up high in a hurry.” He took one of his knives and cut a second vine while holding on to the first. Suddenly, he was being lifted into the tree, going higher and higher, like some kind of pulley system. “Cut the one to the left and hold on tight,” he called down.

“Well,” I said to myself. “If I’m going to fight alongside the Wood elves, I might as well fight like one.” I shucked off my shoulder pads, chest armor, chainmail and vambraces. Then I grabbed the vine tight in one hand while chopping through the vine to the left. Instantly I was soaring straight up through the tall massive tree, missing branches by inches along the way. I felt like I was going forever when it suddenly came to an abrupt halt. Legolas and a couple other soldiers were waiting for me and pulled me by my legs, steading me on a very large branch.

“Are you ready?” Legolas asked before I had my bearings. “Feels better, doesn’t it?” he said gesturing to my loss of armor.

“Feels like less protection,” I grumbled.

Legolas took me by the arm, and gently pulled me into him, whispering against my cheek. “I know you can take care of yourself, but nonetheless, I won’t let anything happen to you.” He turned my face towards his so that we were looking at each other. “It’s not the armor that makes you brave, makes you deadly, or helps you win the fight. It’s all up here,” he pointed to his head. “It’s knowing that you are better, faster, smarter and stronger than those foul beasts. It’s knowing that you’re immortal, and they’ll never take that away from you.” He kissed me with firm, confident lips, and then pulled away to capture me with those beautiful blue eyes. “And it’s knowing that when we are through here, I’m going to ravish every inch of you.”

“That’s the best battle speech I’ve ever heard,” I replied, feeling that same confidence that Legolas exuded.

He tilted his head up and laughed. “I do admire that wit of yours, Rúmil. Don’t ever lose it.”

We traveled high in the trees and found ourselves on the other side of the river, joining the Wood elves already there. The orcs were just ahead, so we had to make our way carefully. We didn’t want to be detected before we were in place to attack. From up here, we would open fire, taking out a decent sized number of their army by surprise. But in only a moment, the orcs would know where we were and begin firing back. That’s when it would become chaos, and that’s when I was at my best.

Legolas signaled for all the elves to take their places, and we waited for the final command to release our arrows. Below, the orcs were still trying to figure out where the darts came from that ruined their rafts. They thought the elves were still across the river, getting ready to send a hail of arrows. They never thought to look up. It was a genius plan. Everyone knew the spiders would never come this close to the river, so there was no reason to worry about what was over their heads.

Everyone had their bows nocked and ready. Legolas gave one last whistle and we all released our arrows. Orcs fell left and right, and time seemed to slow as I watched the confusion below. They stood there watching each other collapse. It felt like it took minutes before they realized what was happening, and a good number of them never really knew what hit them. Some elves got five or six arrows launched before the orcs figured out that we were above them, firing from the trees. Once they did, the surviving enemies took cover behind fallen logs or rock formations. That’s when the real battle began.

We were only safe in the trees for seconds, when the orcs found us. Their bowmen targeted us and Legolas called out another command, telling the elves to brace for the hit. Orc arrows were longer and thicker, and though they flew straight and true, they seemed sluggish. No injuries for the first round. The second round was more successful for the orcs. I could hear the cries of several elves and cringed. Where was Legolas, I thought, and looked out from behind the bole of the tree where I took cover. My eyes scanned the treetops until I saw him. He was fine, but he was looking frantically around until his eyes met mine. He was watching out for me, but I was watching for him too. After all, I’d told his father I’d let nothing happen to him, and I took my job very seriously. The King might have been referring to the march on Dol Guldur, but as long as we were fighting side by side, I felt he should be in my care.

There was a brief lull in the action, and Legolas shouted one last command to his troops, to attack. Elves began dropping to the forest floor. Now we were in full battle, face to face combat, no more protection from the tree tops. Now, every elf fought for himself or those closest to him, and I realized that Legolas was not next to me, but he was within sight. It felt good to be on the ground where I could fight as I was trained to do. My bow would do me no good now, so I drew my sword and buried it into the closest orc. I felt it slice through skin and muscle, felt it catch and pull as I removed it. I spun, sword extended and took the head off of an orc that I heard coming up from behind. My whole body was a weapon, and my sword was an extension of that power. One after another, I exterminated the orcs, and so did my fellow elves. The forest floor started to become slick with black blood. I was in my element. I was unstoppable.

Whenever I had a moment, I would find Legolas and be relieved to know he was alright. Really, I had no reason to do this. He was amongst the best elvish warriors in Middle-earth. It wasn’t until the action around me stalled that I was able to really watch him. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He moved with grace and killed with savagery. His long knives moved so fast, all I saw was a flash of light before black blood sprayed from its victim. It was a warrior’s dance, one that only a very few knew. Legolas was always in motion, his feet moving like that of a dancer, his shoulders flexing, hair whipping out as he spun and stabbed. Legolas was pure poetry in every way he moved, unrelenting and barbarous yet beautifully hypnotic. I was completely mesmerized while watching him slaughter the orcs. They knew he was important just by the way he carried himself, and it attracted them to him like flies. Legolas seemed to enjoy his popularity, as he wore a smug look upon his face. All I could think was that I wanted to be there with him, not for protection, but to feed off of his energy.

I fought my way to him, unable to stay away any longer. I wanted to join him in his dance. He saw me and met me half way. “Are you well?” he asked right away.

“I am, but I thought you might need a little help,” I answered. Of course, he needed no help from me.

He laughed at that, and then we were killing orcs together, playing with them like a pair of felines teasing a mouse. I’d never experienced anything like it. We were corresponding in our moves, harmonious to each other, as though we shared one mind. Fighting alongside Legolas was just about as alluring as having sex with him. The blood pulsed and ran hot through the veins just the same. We moved in unison, just as we did when he shared a bed. We were both drenched in sweat and pheromones. But instead of cocks in our hands, we carried swords.

The orcs were defeated. Those who sensed it tried to run, but the elves did not let them get far. Some escaped, those who left the fight early, but now they would have to deal with their masters, and knowing orcs, it wouldn’t turn out well for them either.

In Lothlórien, we would burn the bodies. No one wanted the stench of rotting corpses to befoul our home. Legolas told us to leave them as a message to future enemies who thought they could sneak into Mirkwood.

There were no elf deaths, but more than a few were injured, some poisoned by the orc blades. These elves were put in the boat and carefully escorted across the river. Everyone else navigated the trees. I offered to help with the injured, but Legolas said there were elves put in place to deal with that. I could tell he wanted me all to himself, and I wasn’t about to argue with him. My blood still pulsed strong from the exertion of battle. I wasn’t tired, and I wished there was more to do at the moment. I needed to shed some of this residual energy from fighting, when every part of the body was in sensory overload. My ears were ringing, my fingers tingled. My feet could sense a worm moving below the surface at this point. I felt good. I felt alive. I felt wonderfully libidinous.

We climbed the trees to cross the river, but then we went back onto the ground. Once on the King’s land, there was no fear of attack. The orcs had been neutralized, and the spiders did not dwell here. We were safe for the moment, and everyone took their time heading for home. Some walked in groups, telling stories of their recent kills. Some traveled with only one or two other elves, exhaustion already setting upon them. Legolas and I walked together, elves coming and going as they stopped to congratulate Legolas for another successful battle, Corweth and Messel among them.

“Good to have you back, Prince Legolas,” Corweth said.

“It’s good to be back,” Legolas smiled.

“And the Captain did well today too,” Messel said to me. “But where is your armor?”

I’d been so wrapped up in the victory, I’d forgotten to retrieve it, left laying beneath the trees at the river. I said a curse under my breath. I had to go back. It was my Lothlórien armor, part of my uniform. I said as much to Legolas. “I can’t return home without it.”

The mention of returning home sparked sadness in Legolas’ eyes, but it was gone in the same instant. Now was not the time to think about it. I still had a couple days left in Mirkwood before I would start my journey home.

“I’ll go with you,” Legolas offered. “Corweth, see that everyone gets back to the palace, and that the injured are taken straight to the healers. Send a messenger ahead so that they are prepared, and have him relay the news of our victory.”

Corweth bowed and left to carry out her orders. Messel touched my arm and smiled before following her sister. I remembered her message about Legolas and I. I could tell she was glad for us, but worried about how the Prince would react when I left for home.

Legolas and I went off, running at an easy pace to get back to where I left my armor. “What’s the hurry?” I asked, from behind.

“I want to show you something,” he called back to me.

I noticed we were not going in the right direction, but I didn’t question him. He knew these parts better than I did. We went along, following the river, but staying far from the shore. We passed the place where the trees overhung the river, where I’d left my armor. “Legolas,” I called to remind him.

“This is not it, but we’ll stop here on our way back,” he said, barely out of breath from our run. Even running, Legolas made it look effortless.

All Wood elves gave that illusion, and I realized that they really were different from the elves of Lothlórien and Rivendell. They were rogue elves, living by their own set of rules, taking each day one at a time, soaking up every last thing that surrounded them, and conforming to the land. They were hunters, warriors … lovers, just like the rest of us, but everything they did, they did with deep passion. Most of the time, I didn’t think they knew they were doing it at all. It was just bred into them. Wood elves were linked back to the Teleri, the elves who defied the Valar and chose to stay in Middle-earth when they were called back to the Undying Lands. Until now, I’d always thought of them as crude, undisciplined, wayward elves who openly resisted our makers to live frivolously without any leadership. But I was wrong. They challenged the powers not out of defiance, but because they loved Middle-earth with great desire. They saw the potential for the lands, for the forests and the streams, for the animals and eventually the other races of the world. They helped shape some of them, especially the minds of the trees, who loved the elves in return and gave them safety and shelter. And so they taught the trees to talk, and the love affair with Middle-earth continued. I often wondered what would have happened if no elves stayed here, thinking that maybe evil would not have found its way. But I could see now, what great things the Teleri did, paving the way so that I could eventually stand here and revel in their work. Legolas and the Wood elves were their descendants, and that same need to teach, to learn, to love and protect had survived through the centuries and generations. Their ancestors would be proud, I’m sure, but would they be saddened to see the Wood elves confined to their separate nation now? I thought that they might weep to know this. Now more than ever, I wanted Mirkwood free of the darkness. I wanted them to be able to reconnect with their heritage, and live as the Teleri once had. At least, we were taking a step in the right direction. Dol Guldur would have to fall first.

“We’re here,” Legolas said, coming to a halt in front of some kind of ancient ruins, barely visible through the overgrown trees and vines that kept it hidden.

“What is this place?” I wondered aloud.

“This way,” he said, smiling. 

Legolas led me to a door covered in vines. It was set into a stone wall, each grey stone carefully chosen to fit amongst the others. The door was rotting at the bottom where the moisture seeped into it constantly, but it still hung on its hinges. Even the hinges were a thing of art, beautiful scroll work, made of iron vining detain. Even after the wooden door was gone, these hinges would still be here.

He pushed the door, and it creaked, but it was fastened by the vines. I took out my dagger and started cutting them to make it easier to open. Legolas pushed and the door scraped the ground. Leaves had piled up on the inside, but we managed to open it enough to go inside. Once we were in, I found myself looking at what was once a grand room or hall. It was circular with marble archways lining the sides, and windows on the walls beyond the arches. The glass was long since broken, and some of the window frames were deteriorated so that it looked like a hole was knocked out. What detail was still intact was beautiful. Large columns as wide as oak trees extended towards the sky. The roof was gone, now part of the floor beneath my feet. Leaves, weeds, and grass made the floor now, growing over the destruction. Still, I could just imagine how extravagant this room must have looked at one time. Then, glancing to my left, I made out what must have been a dais. The steps still remained, but now they led to cracked and broken marble. It looked unsafe to walk on, like it might cave in. There was a tree growing out of one corner of the dais, responsible for tearing up the white marble flooring.

Legolas stood next to me, looking around the ruins as though he was seeing them as they used to be before nature took over. “This was my grandfather’s throne room when he was King.”

I was surprised to learn this. “I thought the palace had always been your home, and your grandfather’s too.”

“Yes, it was, but his throne room was out here, away from the underground city. The palace was for the residents of Mirkwood, but this is where King Oropher held court and welcomed his guests. Remember, this was before the Rhovanion became sick. It was green and luscious back then. People came here all the time … Men of Dale, Lake-men of Esgaroth, Woodsmen of the north, even a dwarf or two had come to speak with the King.”

“What happened to it? Why was it abandoned?” I wondered.

“My father, after he became King, held court here too, but after the war that took my grandfather’s life, not many people came to Greenwood. You see, they came to see Oropher, but they did not know Thranduil. And the war … it changed my father, made him less trusting of outsiders. So, without any visitors, this place was abandoned, left for nature to retake it.”

“Perhaps you can rebuild it, once we defeat the darkness,” I suggested.

“We?” he said, turning to me, a hopeful tone to his voice.

“Lothlórien and Mirkwood,” I clarified.

“Oh,” he said sadly.

I rested my hand gently on his shoulder. “Legolas, you know I cannot stay. This is not my home.”

“I know,” he whispered. Then, a fire burned in his blue eyes as he looked upon me. “But you could let it be your sanctuary, like this place once was to my grandfather, because here you are free, Rúmil. Here you can be yourself without worry. And here,” he pushed me against a moss covered wall. “Here you are mine, without interruption.” He captured my lips, kissing me passionately, taking my breath away.

I brought my arms up to wrap around his neck, but he lifted them over my head, pinning me to the wall. His hips writhed against mine, our bodies flat against each other. One of his hands held my wrists while the other found its way to the swell of my leggings. He kneaded me through the material, and then he made short work of my laces. The next thing I knew, he held me in his hand, releasing me from the confines of my leggings. He stroked me in a way that made me pulse and strain, made me hold my breath, as my hips gyrated, pushing as much of me into his hand as I could. With my blood still running hot from the excitement of battle, it didn’t take much to come to the height of arousal. Between his mouth sucking my neck, and the stimulating stroke of his hand, I couldn’t hold on for long. My whole body vibrated with the effects of his meticulous stroking, and I thought my legs would give out. I moaned and threw my head back against the mossy wall, crying out with ecstasy until the euphoric sensation subsided. Legolas held me against the wall, and let me regain my senses, all the while kissing me gently over my face and neck, as he whispered in my ear.

“Let me be your sanctuary, Rúmil. Out there, you belong to Lothlórien, but here you belong to me.”

My voice had escaped me, as I was still recovering from my quick but satisfying release that left me feeling languorous and drained of my strength. “I … I would … like that,” I whispered, my mind struggling to form words. I found just enough energy to kiss him, soft and slow so he would know how much I would like that. Then I slid down the wall, dropping to my knees. I carefully untied the laces of his leggings. His fingers combed through my hair, and teased the tips of my ears. I pulled back the flaps of his pants and released him. Then I looked up at him though my lashes, my lips parted and hungry to taste him. Our eyes met, both of us lusting for satisfaction. He held my face in his palm and smiled.

Just before I took him in, a name came to me. “Legolas, iaun nín,” I called him. It meant ‘my sanctuary’ in Sindarin. I’d made sure to name him in his own tongue instead of Quenya. I had decided that when I came to Mirkwood, I would conform to their way of life as well as their language. I needed to separate myself from Lothlórien when I was with Legolas, and be someone completely different from the elf I was at home.

“Yes, Rúmil,” he uttered soft and low, pulling me to him, and I began my ministrations. “For as long as you need me.”


	7. Chapter 7

>

 

If there was one thing I learned about Wood elves, it was that they never missed an opportunity for a celebration. After successfully turning back the orcs at the river and the minimal number of injured elves returning from the battle, King Thranduil announced that there would be a celebration in honor of the brave warriors and their victory. We had one night to rest, upon our return, but the following evening would be a celebration of grand proportions. There would be dancing, food, wine, and entertainment that would surely last long into the night. It had been a long time since I attended such festivities. I was rather excited to see how Wood elves made merry. Lothlórien had their fair share of such merriment, of course. We did not have a gallant affair for every victory, and we would have considered something like the battle at the river just another day at the borders. I could see why it was important to the Wood elves. Living as they did, they needed to separate themselves from the looming darkness whenever the chance arose.

Tonight, though, was our first night back at the palace, and the returning warriors were exhausted. Legolas stayed with me in my guest quarters. We were not long for the conscious world, and we slept soundly beside each other. When I woke late in the night, he hadn’t moved at all, and Legolas, as I’d learned during my stay here, was a light sleeper.

It was his first time back with his regiment in a long time. He had fallen back in step, as though he’d been fighting all this time. I could tell his warriors were just as glad to have him back. I think he was worried, though. The thought hadn’t crossed my mind until now, seeing him in deep elvish sleep. What worried him most, I wondered. Was he afraid he’d forgotten how to fight, how to command, or was he scared that he’d lost the respect and discipline of his troops? Whatever it was, he learned that nothing had changed, and there had never been anything to fear.

I thought about the moment when we stood back to back, slashing our swords, killing the oncoming orcs. We were a perfect match in battle. It was euphoric to fight alongside him. I’d known that before it had happened, as I made my way to him. All I could think was that I needed to be as close to him as possible, to feel his glorious power and strength. How could this magnificent creature be kept away from what he was, from what he did best? Well, I thought with a smirk, one of the things he did best.

By the gods, Legolas was an amazing lover. I thought of our private moment amongst the ruins. The way he held me in his hand, and brought me to such great heights, I sighed. I’d never experienced anything so sensational in all my life. Being with him was addictive, my one dirty little cryptic habit. What would they say in Lothlórien if they knew I took a savage Wood elf as a lover? If only they knew what I knew, then they’d all be jealous, or they would want one of their own. But Legolas wasn’t something to own. He wasn’t tamable, and that’s what I liked best. He was a free spirit, and he had taught me a lot.

When I finally went home, I would miss this. I would miss the freedom I was allowed in Mirkwood. I would miss Legolas. This was something I didn’t want to admit, but it was true. There was something about him that no one else could replicate. And I knew he felt similarly about me, but I think it was stronger for Legolas. This was when two individual must be very careful about their relationship. To a degree, that’s what Legolas and I had. For me, I wasn’t sure what I felt towards Legolas. Was it love? Well, not true, mad about you, connecting with our souls love. I’d loved like that once already, and this was nothing as emotionally binding. It wasn’t just lust either. I cared for him, and I knew I would think about him often when he was not around. I couldn’t put my finger on it. My feelings for Legolas hadn’t always been the same, not like they were when I met Túron.

With Túron, it felt like a whirlwind. I knew right away that I loved him, and when I learned that he returned the feelings, it felt like floating above the ground. It sounds ridiculous, but there is no other way to explain it. I was light-headed, light in the feet, light in the chest, fluttering like the moth within my heart. I only ever felt that one emotion towards Túron, and it was wonderful while it lasted. But it hurt tremendously when he was gone. The lightness wasn’t there. I was heavy and burdened, as though I was filled suddenly with rock and sand. I still felt like that when I came to Mirkwood, though not as weighted. I had managed to unload some of the heavier pieces, if that makes any sense.

As far as things went with Legolas, my feelings for him had evolved during my stay. At first, I thought he was pompous and arrogant. I saw him as the epitome of all Wood elves, and the spoiled son of their stubborn king. But as I got to know him, my impression of him changed as well as my feelings for him. I enjoyed learning about Mirkwood, about Wood elves, and Legolas. I helped him find his voice with his father, and he helped me learn to be a free spirit. We each took the strongest parts of our personalities and taught the other how to change, to conform, to be more complete. And in the process, I slowly learned to like him, to feel close to him, to love him, but in a different more mature way than I had loved Túron. With Túron, there was nothing to evolve into. Like I said before, it was a whirlwind romance cut short. For Legolas and I, it was a slow process of getting acquainted, becoming aware of each other’s personalities, consciousness of our wants and needs, filling our voids, blending, molding, merging together, completing each other.

That was it, wasn’t it? Legolas and I had to complete this process, making us more appreciative of each other. Túron and I were already who we were, and we either couldn’t, wouldn’t or didn’t want to change. We just loved each other deeply, and we didn’t need anything more from each other. I thought it was enough, but maybe it wouldn’t have been if we had been allowed the opportunity. I’d known Legolas for a shorter amount of time, but I felt like I knew him better than I ever knew Túron. But that doesn’t erase the devotion I felt for my first true love. All I wanted was to have him back in my life, to make it work for us. It would mean having to live our secret lives together, and I was fine with that. However, since coming to Mirkwood, and experiencing life here, living out in the open, free from judgment, I wasn’t sure I could go back to a secret life, not with someone I really cared about. 

So the question remained. Did I love Legolas? Well, I would miss him when I left, and I already knew that I could hardly wait to see him again, though it might be a long time. And when that day came, I would fall under his spell of enchantment, and revel in the ecstasy of becoming one with him again. Suddenly, a long time seemed like too long.

Legolas shifted in his sleep, his arm snaking over my bare stomach as he pulled me into him. I think I could get used to this, and it scared me, because the one thing I knew for a fact was that anyone I had ever loved eventually had to go away. Though Legolas and I couldn’t reside together, I feared something might happen that would keep me from ever returning to him. Perhaps for now it was better that I didn’t give in any more to my feelings, and just let things be what they were. I would have to leave for home soon anyways. There was no use trying to figure this all out. As far as I was concerned, we enjoyed each other’s company, and we had earth-shattering sex. I should just leave it at that.

Legolas’ face nuzzled against my neck, and he moaned as he came out of his slumber. Then, his hips gyrated, and his hardening cock pushed against my thigh. The feel of it made my own pulse to life. I had to admit, there was nothing better than waking aroused and lying next to a willing partner. This, I would remember. This, I would miss.

“I need you, Rúmil,” he whispered sleepily. 

“I can tell,” I answered, my voice clear and alert.

“You’re already awake?” he asked.

I nodded and reached out, taking him in my hand, lightly stroking him. “Anything wrong?” he said.

“Just thinking that I must be leaving soon,” I admitted. I had to keep myself from getting too comfortable.

“You’ve been saying that since you first got here,” he smiled against my neck, warm lips kissing my sensitive skin. “And you’re still here.”

“Not by my choice.” I cringed as the last word passed my lips. Now, I was trying too hard.

Legolas sat up on his elbow and looked down at me. “I thought it was partially your choice.” There was a bit of an edge to his voice.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said apologetically. “My visit here has been … unique. I came here with only one mission, and so much more has happened. You know that.”

“And it’s not over yet. There’s still the celebration tonight,” he reminded me as he resumed his soft kisses.

“About that–”

“Oh no. You’re not getting out of it.” Legolas threw his leg over both of mine, trapping me. He must have sensed my need for escape.

“I have nothing to wear to such a festival, and I doubt my uniform or my riding clothes will be acceptable. From what I’ve heard, these are quite elegant affairs.”

“You’ll wear something of mine.” He didn’t have a care in the world, and I was nothing but concerned. He moved so that our cocks touched and rubbed against each other. Then his hand came down, and he took us both, locking us together as he stroked. I gave in immediately, and wondered how I could not have feelings for Legolas.

“You’ll spoil me, and I may never want to leave.” I kissed his cheek and ran my tongue along the edge of his jaw line, targeting his ear, nibbling my way to the perfect tip.

A satisfied laugh bubbled up from his throat in answer to my comment. His grip firmed upon our joined cocks, and he threw his head back into his pillow, exposing the ivory skin of his long neck. It was an invitation to more than just kissing. He was inviting me to know this kind of luxury every day, if only I would stay in Mirkwood. The conscious thought of the reality of that invitation niggled at the back of my mind, but I pushed it aside for the moment. Not now, I thought. Not while we were enjoying the contentment of waking together without interruption. I’d never had so many moments like this one. This kind of private bliss only happened every now and then for me, but since giving in to Legolas, we had spent almost every morning waking to each other. But this was only temporary. I couldn’t be with Legolas outside of this place. It wasn’t my home, and I needed to get back there. 

“Don’t fight it,” Legolas said out of nowhere, as though he had been reading my thoughts. It wasn’t difficult to do. I had lost concentration and I wasn’t responding to his strokes as I was a moment ago. “It’s just like we agreed. While you are here, you are mine and I am yours. Relax and stop thinking, Rúmil. You think too much.” As he spoke, his grip tightened, and the heat from his hand made our skin sticky. I offered my hand and his moved his up. He kneaded us close to our bodies while I rubbed our heads, spreading the pearly essence that was the result of our anticipation. Our hands moved in unison, stroking longer and faster. We kissed, our tongues sliding over each other, mouths devouring. Our breath became erratic, as the sexual desire built deep within, swirling, growing, coming to the surface. I could feel him pulsating, and it made me respond, catching up with him.

“Are you close?” I asked.

“So close,” he breathed airily. “You?”

“Oh gods, yes,” I whispered. It was enough to make sure we were at the same height of passion. I adjusted my hand, and with both of us in my palm, I knew what to do to make us come together.

Legolas released just a second before I did. I watched him splash between our stomachs, and then I joined him. Our hands were slick, milking every last bit. We moaned and shuddered against each other, letting the sensations wash over us like a satiny wave. And I realized how attune we were in mind and body … and it wasn’t just sex. We fought beside each other with the same kind of synchronization. It was as though our minds melded whenever our adrenaline surged. No one on this earth had ever had that effect on me. It felt incredible and shocking. It was a rush. It was addictive, and I found myself craving it more and more.

* * * * *

Later that day, I went to Legolas’ room to see what I would wear. He wasn’t there, but one of his servants was, and several gorgeous outfits were laid out upon his bed. The servant, a young elleth with honey hair and green eyes, finished smoothing down the last outfit, and turned when she heard me enter the room. Right away she smiled warmly, the kind of smile that was contagious … that made you want to smile back and engage her in conversation.

“You must be Rúmil of Lothlórien,” she sang, and I noticed she did not call me Captain. “Legolas told me you were coming, and he asked me to help you choose something for tonight.” She seemed very excited to have this current job. I got the feeling that she didn’t get the chance to dress Legolas very often. By the looks of the clothes she’d picked, I could tell she had very extravagant taste. Legolas dressed in simple tunic and leggings, only wearing his royal garb when the occasion called for it. 

“They are all very lavish, maybe too much for someone like me,” I gestured to the clothes.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You are a guest of Mirkwood, and of the Prince, no less. Only the finest will do. Anything strike your fancy?”

I looked at the clothes. Considering them for a moment. There were three outfits, each one very different. The first was a beautiful green tunic with white silk leaves embroidered upon the front. They flowed from the shoulders and ran down to the waist. It had a high collar, just like the style Legolas always wore. It looked good on Legolas’ long smooth neck, but I wasn’t sure it would look good on me. Dark green leggings and brown boots finished the look.

The other two didn’t seem to do much for me. They were basic leggings and tunic, one silver, one dark grey. The silver one had a floor length coat in a very light green, silk embroidery upon the entire coat with gold leaves. Very rich, very beautiful, but very royal in appearance. The other one, the dark grey, shimmered in the lamp light. The coat for that outfit was a rich shade of red, something expensive and velvety. I loved the color, but again, it was a bit over the top for my taste.

“I think I like the green one the best,” I decided.

The servant smiled, satisfied with my choice. “That one is my favorite. Shall I help you dress?”

“No thank you. I believe I can handle this myself.”

She bowed and went to the door. “You may get dressed here. The Prince will be back shortly. He’ll be very pleased with your choice.” She left, closing the door behind her.

It was still odd to be so open and free. The servant girl never batted an eye at the thought of Legolas and I going to the dance together. At least, I assumed we were. What if I was wrong? What if the people of Mirkwood did not want to see Legolas enter the hall with an ellon upon his arm? Maybe they were expecting an elleth. In Lothlórien, it would never have been acceptable for me to walk in with another male in that fashion. 

I pushed the thoughts aside and dressed. Just as I was finishing up, Legolas came in, still wearing his clothes from this morning. “Busy day?” I asked comfortably, like a spouse coming home after a long day of work.

“When is it not?” he answered in a similar fashion. He paused to look me over from head to feet. “You look quite handsome.”

“Thank you,” I smiled confidently.

“I can’t wait to get you out of it already,” he said in an unexpected lust filled growl.

“Well, we can always skip the festivities and get straight to–”

“Dance first,” Legolas interrupted. “Really, Rúmil, there is nothing to fret about.” He approached and helped me tighten the brown laces on the front of the tunic, and the silver clasp at the collar.

“So, what happens at these dances in Mirkwood? Do we show up with an elleth on our arm to make a good impression?” I asked, tugging at the collar. I could already tell that this was going to be uncomfortable. I didn’t like the way it rubbed against the front of my neck.

“Only if you wish to invite an elleth to go with you,” Legolas said, inspecting me. “Your hair.”

“What about it?” I began to complain.

“No braids tonight. Wear it loose, and only tie back the sides,” he suggested. I went to a mirror and table on the other side of the room and he followed me. “Here, let me,” he offered, picking up a comb.

I sat down and let him do my hair. His fingers were gentle and deliberate as they ran through my silver strands. I smiled and huffed a laugh. “I don’t think anyone has ever combed my hair for me before.”

“Not even your mother?”

“Well, besides her, and that was when I was just an elfling.” I closed my eyes and enjoyed the pampering.

“You have gorgeous hair, like the finest silver silk thread,” he complimented. Legolas gathered it at the sides and brought it to the back, finishing it with a silver barrette shaped like . . . “A mallorn leaf?”

“Yes, a gift from your brother, actually, the first time he came here.”

That made me slightly uneasy. I couldn’t picture Haldir giving gifts, especially something as personal as a clasp for one’s hair. “I didn’t know he showered you with gifts,” I said a little bitterly.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say showered.” Legolas’ lips thinned into a straight line, and his eyes narrowed. “Are you jealous?” he accused.

“Of course not,” I answered on the defensive, but suddenly I was overwhelmed to know exactly what might have transpired between Legolas and Haldir. “You and my brother … did you ever …”

“Make mad love to each other?” Legolas finished for me, but a bit more colorfully that I would have put it. He laughed in a way that made me nervous and not but a little put out.

“Sweet Eru, you did!” I shouted, disgusted by the thought. “And all this time, you never bothered to tell me that you and Haldir–” I stopped as he burst into laughter.

“Oh Rúmil, you should have seen your face just now. No, of course I didn’t sleep with your brother. What do you take me for? Do you think I’d jump into bed with any outsider to visit Mirkwood? Ease your perverted mine. I never even made the slightest pass at Haldir. Not my type. Too stuffy for my taste.”

That was a relief. The thought that Haldir and I had slept with the same person made my stomach do flips. “Although,” he continued, and I cringed. “I believe he might have met someone while he was here. I don’t know who, though. Haldir never did conform to our ways here in Mirkwood. He kept his secret, and no one ever inquired about it.”

“Was that why Haldir came here so many times?” I wondered aloud.

“With Haldir, it was always work first, but I guess you already know that. He came with the sole purpose of convincing my father to join Lothlórien and fight the dark evils of Dol Guldur. Any extracurricular activities he might have engaged in were his own business, and he didn’t want anyone else to know. I don’t think he ever truly trusted the Wood elves. Perhaps he thought we might use it against him. We would never do that, of course. Mirkwood has very strict rules about that. We take care of our own realm, and we don’t get involved in the concerns of outsiders or other realms.”

“That’s good to know,” I muttered, and Legolas gave me a questioning look.

“Do you think I would tell anyone from Lothlórien about us?” He seemed a little annoyed.

“No, not you, but … the thought has crossed my mind. There’s your father, who I don’t think likes me all that much. And Corweth and I have bumped heads more than a few times.”

Legolas gave me a hard glare and stood in front of me to make sure he had my full attention. “We are not like that here. We would never do something like that, no matter whether you got along with someone or not. While within Mirkwood, we are responsible for our own, and our guests. Outside of the kingdom, we might abide by the rules of the realm we are in, but we do not divulge anything about our homeland, and that includes our visitors.” He looked angry and he sounded offended.

“And you have to understand that where I come from, there are those who would do anything to get ahead, and that includes using such information to better themselves,” I challenged. “I’ve always had to be on the defensive, and especially after joining the army. I think about these sort of things because I must constantly be aware.”

Legolas just stood there, shaking his head slowly back and forth. “I don’t know how you can live like that, Rúmil.”

“I have no other choice. I don’t have the freedom that you have here. But regardless, it is my begetting place, and they are my people. I love my home, and in return, I must follow the rules.”

His face softened and he cupped my face in his palm. I couldn’t help see pity flash across his eyes, gone with a single blink. Legolas smiled warmly, changing as quickly as a flint strike. “Tonight, you will not have to worry about any of that. You are going with me, as my guest, and they will all be jealous, male and female alike. As he spoke, he adjusted my collar, and smoothed the front with the palm of his hand. “This looks good on you. A little extra room across the chest, but it fits you well enough,” he teased.

“Arse,” I mumbled with a smile. “Admit it. You know it looks better on me,” I jested in return.

“Now who’s the arse,” he said, and slapped me hard in the place he just mentioned.

“Oh,” I mocked surprise. “Is this something I should look forward to when we return to my room?” I let go the tension of the previous moment, turning to something more playful.

“Maybe … if we make it that far. I just might have to steal you away in some alcove and have my way with you.”

“Promise?” I said in a wanton manner.

His hands grasped my waist, pulling me into his chest as he kissed me, and I melted into him. It didn’t take much. Legolas knew how to work me into a frenzy with only a look or a kiss. When he pulled away, he nuzzled my ear, taking the lobe in his teeth and biting gently. “You need to remember where you are, Rúmil. If I want to do this to you tonight, I will … in front of everyone, and especially when the attention is on us.” His warm breath glided around to the back of my neck, making my spine tingle. “Some might be jealous. Some might envy you for capturing the attention of their Prince. For all I know, we might inspire a few to give into their carnal desires. But no one will ever tell us we cannot show our affection for each other. No one will say it is unacceptable behavior and cast us out. Here, we live how we want to live. We love who we want to love. And as long as you are a guest, you will be treated as one of our own. Do I make myself clear?”

I nodded in reply, but I couldn’t help question something he said, one word in particular … love. I was fairly sure he was only using it as an example, and not admitting to anything. Still, it scared me a bit to hear him say it. A year ago, I would have said that I’d never love another after Túron. Legolas was making me question that. At the same time, I feared the curse that seemed to follow me. If I even thought that I loved Legolas, I was afraid it would end, just like it had in the past.

But what if he loved me? Could I deny him, tell him we mustn’t and keep things as they were between us? Could we just see each other every now and again, and ravish each other until I had to leave? That could be enough, couldn’t it? And if I never admitted anything beyond desire for him, I might beat the curse.

* * * * *

A pair of guards opened the tall wooden doors of the main hall, and Legolas and I walked in side by side. All eyes were upon us as we made our way along the center aisle to the dance floor. Legolas was dressed in his finest, all sparkling in silver, from his undershirt to his floor length coat, and even his knee high boots. And upon his head he wore a mithril circlet with a single teardrop shaped emerald. His hair was like mine, the sides pulled back, held in place by the circlet instead of a hair clasp like mine. He was absolutely gorgeous, the coat form fitting at the waist and shoulders, accentuating his archer body.

Instead of a coat, I opted for a cape, dark green velvet, lined in silver. It billowed out as I walked, the finely made tunic showing underneath. We were a sight, Legolas and me, all green and silver, fair haired and tall, and I had to admit that we made a handsome couple.

We were announced by our rightful names, Prince Legolas of the Woodland realm and Captain Rúmil of Lothlórien, two names that I’m sure most would never have thought to hear in the same sentence. When we were approaching the dance floor, two servants came out, one taking Legolas’ coat, the other taking my cape. Then he turned to me, and I to him. We bowed, hand over heart, and then he took my elbow, leading me to the dance floor. As soon as our feet touched the special area, the musicians started playing a lovely, but slow tune. I didn’t realize at first, but the song was something very familiar to me. It was the same song I’d heard many times at the dances I had attended in Lothlórien. I looked at Legolas and he smiled.

“In honor of our guest,” he said. “A song from your home.”

“And do you know the dance that accompanies this song?” I asked in a haughty manner, for surely he didn’t know, but I would teach him. To my amazement, Legolas backed away from me and took a leg, the first step of the dance. Usually, his partner would be an elleth, and she would answer with a curtsy, and I realized that I would have to alter a few of the steps.

“Of course I know it, Rúmil. Part of my responsibilities as Prince, you see. I must know all the elvish dances,” he said as he went into the next part, offering me his arm. I took it and we walked in a tight circle, our eyes locked on each other. He pulled me to him and whispered in my ear. “I won’t lead the whole dance. We’ll share. It will look more natural that way.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” I said.

“We seem to do that a lot, don’t you think?” We separated, but held each other at the wrist. The next move would be for the male to pull the female back to him, but Legolas had hesitated. It was my turn to lead.

“I’ve noticed,” I answered, and drew him to me until our chests nearly touched. He did not turn around, which was what the elleth would have done, but Legolas wanted us to stay face to face. I thought he was challenging me, especially knowing how uncomfortable I was.

“It is not a common thing to happen, two separate entities sharing thoughts and moves, knowing what the other will do or say before it happens.” As he spoke we continued with the dance, carefully stepping side by side, changing direction, coming apart and then drawing back together.

“I do feel very at ease with you,” I commented, and we were face to face again, only a hair’s width between our lips.

His eyes burned like blue flames, heating me deep within. “And the sex is phenomenal.”

“The best part,” I said, feeling myself be seduced by him. I was like the moth who was scorched by the flame, drawn in by temptation only to be led to its downfall. But my moth was safely contained by the glass dome of my heart.

“And yet,” he started, and I could hear it in his tone.

“Legolas, you know I cannot stay,” I said to keep the conversation away from the subject.

“What if things were different? What choice would you make?” he asked.

I thought about that for a moment. “That’s a very big ‘what if’. If I wasn’t a soldier? If I didn’t have my brothers to get back to? If I didn’t have responsibilities to my men?”

“If you thought there was a chance for you and me,” he said, surprising me.

“Legolas–” I started, my voice low.

“All this time I’ve not said a thing about it,” he interrupted. “I’ve let it be, let us enjoy what we have so far, but I cannot keep this to myself anymore.”

“Please don’t,” I begged, but he ignored me.

“You can’t deny the fact that we are good together, Rúmil. I know you’ve felt it, but you won’t admit to it, not aloud.” The music played on and our dance steps kept us close together. “Look around you. Do you see anyone scowling with disapproval?”

I started to turn my attention to Thranduil, but Legolas captured me by the chin to keep me from doing it. “He doesn’t count,” he said with a smile.

“Alright, I will admit to being wrong about my initial evaluation of Mirkwood and its people. And I was wrong about its Prince,” I jostled.

“Why, how did you perceive me to be?” He seemed genuinely interested now.

“Pompous, spoiled, arrogant … shall I continue?”

“What in the name of the Valar do they teach you about Wood elves in Lothlórien?” he said, offended.

“But none of it is true,” I continued. “Being here has been a freeing experience. Just look at us, dancing in front of all these onlookers.”

“It will always be like this, but you’ll go home and revert back to your old ways,” he disappointedly said.

“I don’t have a choice,” I argued. “You offered to be my sanctuary, and right now, that’s all I can afford.”

The music was finally ending. Legolas and I bowed as our final dance step, and the onlookers clapped, a few of them shouting something I couldn’t understand. Legolas ignored the crowd, gazing at me as though we were alone. He leaned into me, tilting my head back, his eyes drilling into me. “Alright then, I’ll take that if you’ll not give me anything more, but I have to tell you–”

I didn’t want to hear him say what I was sure he was going to say. There was only one way to stop him, so I kissed him. I kissed the Prince of Mirkwood in front of his warriors, his friends, his father, and I didn’t care what any of them might think about it. The applause grew louder with a few shouts and whistles. I could never have done this in Lothlórien, although, there were times I wish I could have. I wish I could have proclaimed my feelings for Túron without judgment or worry. Perhaps we would still be together if I could have done that.

Legolas pulled away, his eyes settling on mine, and I knew the remnants of my thoughts of Túron were visible. But he smiled anyways, that warm embracing smile that said he would let me in if I asked. All I had to do was ask, but I couldn’t. And the niggling in the back of my mind wriggled free, the one that said ‘just think about it’. And I felt a slight chink upon my heart, the moth hitting glass, trying to get loose, the flame becoming irresistible. And I realized that the glass might not be strong enough to contain it.

The music started again, this time a much livelier tune, and the dance floor became crowded. Legolas and I took our leave, the first dance being out of the way now. He walked me to a table set up for us. We relaxed into our chairs as a servant rushed over with two goblets of wine and a plate of cheese and bread. Legolas took the cups from her, handed one to me, and we held them up in a toast. “To a beautiful evening that I wish would never end,” he said, eyes smoldering with such vibrancy, I thought I might drown in their blue depths.

“I’ll admit, I’m not as anxious to leave as I once was,” I told him honestly.

“Glad to know you are tempted at least. I was beginning to think you were made of stone,” he jested.

“Glass, actually,” I replied, telling my secret thoughts. He just stared at me, the flickering of a nearby lantern playing with is handsome features. “Much easier to break.”

“Perhaps, but usually glass contains more powerful emotions. Break the glass and all of that pours out at once. It can be detrimental,” he explained. “One can safely chip away at stone, but glass must be handled differently.”

Sometimes Legolas said things that made complete sense to me. He could read me so well at times. He understood my fragilities, and he was so gentle with it. He hardly knew my whole story, only the dramatic bits and pieces that I chose to tell him. Yet he could take what little information I gave him, search me with those powerful eyes, and suddenly he saw what was real. He did this now, as we sat at our table, enjoying our wine. No one ever read me so thoroughly. I was naked before him, displaying all the scars and ugliness, the parts of my life that not even Túron had truly seen. 

“Such a tortured soul you have,” Legolas said, but not with pity. It was almost a challenge, the way he said it, as though he could end the punishment I placed upon myself. “Not here, though. Here, you are like a child just discovering all the wonderful things life has to offer. I’m glad, Rúmil. I’m happy you can step out of that role.” He smirked and gave a wink.

The rest of the evening was simply intoxicating. We ate and drank, we danced some more, we mingled with other guests, and not once did I feel intimidated or self-conscious. No one gave me a critical eye, and I thought I’d have a few, especially stealing the attentions of their Prince for the evening. I think they saw how happy he was, and they were glad for it. And for the first time in a long time, I was happy too … unconcerned and relaxed, free to be me. It felt so natural, and I forgot about the world outside of the underground palace. Whatever was happening above ground was not important tonight. I began to see why Thranduil chose to live like this. It was easy to lose yourself when you didn’t look past your own door. But I knew the truth. I knew what was happening out there, and I knew I couldn’t ignore it.

“There’s that look again,” Legolas said from across the table. We had just finished dancing and sat for a rest and some refreshment. “The war will be there when you get home, Rúmil. Don’t bring it here, not tonight.”

“I know, I can’t help it sometimes. It hits from time to time, just like when I hear the trees whispering.”

“You have some Teleri in your blood,” he said, interested in my anomaly.

“If I do, I don’t know from whom it came from. Neither of my brothers have the ability, and only a very few in Lothlórien can. I’ve never made a big deal out of it. It just happens from time to time, and when it does, I can’t help but listen,” I explained.

“That makes sense. It explains why we seem so synchronized at times. I have it too. A good number of Wood elves do, although there are some that don’t. Tell me, when was your first experience?” he asked excitedly.

I shook my head as I thought about it. “I … I don’t know. I don’t remember. It just seems that I’ve always done it. It’s very natural to me. I’ve never questioned it or given it much thought.” While I spoke, a servant brought our meal, roast pheasant and vegetables. Legolas smiled up at her and winked, and the servant girl blushed before she left us.

“You are such a flirt,” I commented.

“What?” he said. “I was merely showing my appreciation for her services.”

“You don’t know you do it, do you?” I laughed.

“Perhaps you’ll indulge me then,” he challenged.

“It’s not what you say, but how you say it. And it’s not what you do, but how you do it. Take her, for example.”

“I would, but I’ve got my eye on something much more fulfilling tonight,” he said wantonly.

“Now there, that’s obvious flirting,” I went on, ignoring his comment, though my body was responding with tingling sensations prickling my skin. “But when she brought the tray of food, you winked.”

“And?” he said, drawing the word out long.

“You could have just thanked her, smiled, nodded your head, but you winked. That is a very personalized gesture. Did you not see the rosy bloom of her cheeks when you did that?”

“Should I not have done it?” he asked, as though he was taking a lesson in proper etiquette.

“No, I think your people expect it from you. I just think it’s adorable that you don’t realize how admired you are.” I pinched a bit of meat from my roast quail and popped it in my mouth.

“Right now, I only care what you think,” he responded, reaching for my hand and sucking the juices from my finger. His tongue was doing things that promised a more accurate performance later. “So what do you think, Rúmil?”

I watched his tongue travel across his parted lips, moving slow and deliberate, my mind conjuring up images of that mouth in more useful places. “I think if you keep this up, you’ll undo me right here.”

He gave a deviant laugh that made my toes curl in my borrowed boots. “I apologize. I know not what affect I have you.” 

“Arse,” I laughed and stood. “Now, I must relieve myself. If you’ll excuse me.” Actually, I was fine, but I needed a moment away from him. Legolas was just too much, and my body needed a minute to regulate itself. It was difficult to explain how his words could charm me so easily. His potent stares could make my blood pulse without need of my heart. And his touch … ai … it was toxic for sure. He could poison me with his lust and I would die a sated death over and over. That’s what it was like to be with Legolas … always intense.

They had an ingenious design for their privy. It was a private room, simple in look, just stone walls and a trench carved into the floor at the back of the room. Water flowed constantly through the trench. Males could stand and urinate, and the water would carry the waste somewhere, leaving the room free of offending odors and such. It was actually very clean in the privy; most were places that one did not want to spend any more time in then they had to. I’d asked about it earlier, and found out that the water emptied somewhere deep beneath the cave systems. It was somehow filtered as it traveled through rocks and gravel. There was no need for digging holes or emptying buckets as we did in Lothlórien. Latrine duty was a nasty business. But here, nature took care of it.

Hearing the running water, it stimulated me, and I decided to take advantage of the privy after all. Just as I finished, I heard soft footsteps come into the room. It was not uncommon for two or three males to use the room at the same time. It was a fairly generous room. I turned to leave and give a congenial nod to the next guest of the wash room, and found Legolas waiting for me.

“Oh, do you need to–” I started, but before I could finish, he grabbed me, pushing me up against the wall.

“I need you, Rúmil. I can’t wait another moment,” he demanded.

“Here? In the watershed?” I said with slight disgust.

“Would you rather I throw you over our table and have my way with you in front of everyone?” he jested, his hands already fumbling with the leather strands of my leggings.

“Well, it would cause quite a few heads to turn.” I didn’t stop him from his current mission, and before long, he had my ties undone, the flaps of my pants open and my cock in his hand. “Or we can just do it here,” I breathed as he brought me standing in only a couple strokes. “By the gods, how do you do this to me?”

“Because I know you. I know where to touch you to get a quick reaction. I know just how deep to shove my cock and make you come.” His voice was like satin, just as I remembered it when I first heard it, and it had affected me then too.

I didn’t remember moving, but found my hands plunging into his open leggings, pulling him out, kneading him in my hand. He pressed his body against mine and our cocks rubbed together. Nothing felt better than this, and we fit together perfectly.

“Turn around,” he demanded, pushing me against the wall. I felt the cold stone on my cheek, my pants being pushed down, and the hot flesh of his hips against my arse. Legolas’ breath was warm where it washed against the back of my neck. “I’m already so close, Rúmil. You make me mad with lust.”

I wasted no time and braced my hands against the wall. I wriggled one leg free of my leggings, pushed my hips back, spread my legs, and offered myself to him. “You always make it good, Legolas.”

First, he spread me with his fingers, wet with his saliva, preparing me in the process. His other hand came around my hip and kneaded my hardened cock, stroking me over my entire length. Then I felt him rest against my opening, teasing me with his head. His hand stroked faster, and I felt my ballocks tightened.

“Gonna take you deep and fast, just the way you like it,” he whispered drunkenly against my neck, his tongue traveling over my heated skin, up to my ear where he lightly bit the tips.

“Take me now,” I whimpered, not knowing my own pleading desperate voice.

“You want it?” he tortured me.

“Yes.”

“All of it?”

“Yes … please … do it … hurry,” I pleaded.

“And so do I,” he said as he entered me all at once. “Feels … so good … Rúmil … so tight … so … hot … so … oh sweet gods, Rúmil.”

“Yes, Legolas … yes … so … oh yeah … oh … yeah. . .”

It was over so fast, but the tremor that traveled throughout my body lasted for an eternity. Legolas went rigid, holding himself deep, warmth purling within me. And I was spent, still wrapped in his fingers, now sticky and wet. He pulled me away from the wall and to his chest, still buried and pulsating with the last remnants. He laid gentle kisses against my ear. “I will miss this when you leave.” He pulled me tighter against him. “I’ll miss everything about you. I just can’t help myself. We are so complete together. I lose myself when I’m with you.”

“I was lost from the moment I looked into your eyes,” I admitted. What was I saying? I couldn’t do this, could I? Chink … Chink … the moth was desperate to escape. The glass had cracked, and it had weakened. The flame was too bright to ignore. “I don’t want to be here anymore. Take me to your room, or come to mine. I just want you to myself.”

“Alright, let’s go. We stayed long enough. You’ll come to my room and I’ll take care of you all night long.” As he spoke, he laced up my leggings and straightened my tunic. “Tonight you are mine, all mine, because the dawn will take you from me.”

“The dawn?” I asked.

He nodded, looking at the floor. “The scouts have returned. No sign of orcs. Father has given permission for you to travel as early as the morning. I was going to tell you, but I wanted us to enjoy the festivities. I wanted you to know the freedom of life here without thinking about your duties to your home. I’m sorry. I should not have kept it from you.”

He sounded so sad, but I was not angry in the least. I cupped my hand to his face, my thumb rubbing his cheek. “I’m glad you didn’t tell me. And yes, it was more enjoyable not knowing. But don’t think that my knowledge of this now will keep me from enjoying the rest of our evening together. Let’s go.”

We navigated the halls, but we made one quick stop before going to his private chamber, and found ourselves in the kitchen, our stomachs rumbling. Legolas climbed the shelves in search of the basket of goodies that the cook, Reveth, always left for him. I watched him from below, the flex of his shoulders, the strain of his thighs. He was beautifully handsome and sexy, a thorough lover, kind of heart, wild and untamable, and for now he was mine and I was his. I silently cursed my eager heart, for I was beginning to feel it … the stirrings of something much more than lust. Chink, went the moth. The glass dome cracked again, and I feared what would happen if it suddenly shattered. Like Legolas said, all of that emotion pouring out at once . . . I’d already loved once and lost. I had built that glass dome for a reason. Love never turned out well for me. It ruined so much in the past. Still . . .

Legolas came down from the shelves, holding the contents of the basket, a loaf of bread and a wedge of cheese. I remembered his story about coming here as an elfling, and I could see that eternal youth in his eyes now. He looked so content, and the smile he gave me was genuine and natural. I sighed and he kissed me, and it was as though we’d always known each other, like we had done this exact thing a thousand times before. No one had ever made me feel like this, so easily accepted and comfortable in my own skin, and I wasn’t sure anyone but Legolas ever would.


	8. Chapter 8

The festivities must have ended hours ago, but Legolas and I weren’t there for the conclusion. We left long before the musicians played their last song, before the last of the wine was poured, or the tables were cleared. While the guests finished out their evening with congratulations to the warriors for their brave and courageous contributions to the defeat of the orcs at the river, Legolas and I were within his private chambers, making love, exploring our limits yet again. Thranduil would be disappointed that his son did not stay to the end, but Legolas didn’t care what he thought, and neither did I.

I was a boat adrift in the arms of the sea. Legolas made love to me like the crashing tide, rising and falling, tumbling upon each other, drowning in passion, coming up for air just long enough to fill our lungs, and then repeating the process all over again.

The last time was different, though, and it changed everything between us. He held me beneath him, my legs wrapped around his waist, my body filled and stretched, his face buried in my neck, whispering upon my heated skin how good it felt, how good we were together, how he wished the night would never end. He pushed into me, into that one place that took me to the stars, lights bursting behind my closed eyes, and as he spilled his warmth, he said it. He said what I had managed to avoid hearing up until now. “Rúmil, I love you.” And then he collapsed onto me, exhausted, body going limp, covering me like armor protects its warrior. He didn’t move, and for a split second, I thought he died. We had been rather adventurous throughout the night, and I know my own heart felt like it had stopped beating a time or two. But he was only catching his breath, and he pulled from me, coming to rest at my side. Our bodies were slick with sweat and his hair stuck to his face so that I couldn’t see his expression.

We were silent for a long time, resting, coming to our senses. I felt like my tongue had been cut out. I couldn’t reply to his admission. All I felt was the regret of not being able to say anything. The glass dome around my heart had a few more cracks in it than it did before this day started. The moth inside had reinforced its wings, as though they were made of steel so sharp they could cut the glass.

Finally, Legolas turned towards me, head laying upon my chest, his leg draped across my thighs. “It’s alright. You don’t need to say anything. I’m not like you, Rúmil. I cannot keep things hidden inside. No Wood elf has ever had to do that, and I’ll not be the first.”

“I know,” I said in barely a whisper. “It’s one of the things I like best about you. But you must know what it does to me to hear you say it.”

“I already know what it does to you. I felt you tense and cringe as I said it. I feel you protecting yourself from me. What happened, Rúmil? What has happened to you that you’ll shut out your heart to protect your soul and avoid me?”

I huffed a laugh as I thought of the all too simple explanation. “I became a soldier.”

“That’s not it, and you know it. You think you’re the first soldier of Lothlórien or Imladris to have feelings for other ellyn, to live a secret life separate from your military one? Your brother does it, and he’s a March warden. And look at you, Rúmil, Captain in the Northern Guard of Lothlórien, largest of the guard, leader of the deadliest and most successful archery regiment known to any elven realm. You can’t tell me you don’t know how to balance the two lives you live. No … something happened, something more than what you have shared with me. Will you tell me?”

This was it. This was that moment when the whole truth came out, when he would tell me it didn’t matter, and that he loved me anyways. And I knew the truth in my heart, that I would confess the same to him, because I couldn’t deny it any longer. I loved him too. But I couldn’t say the words for fear of my eternal curse. I could never have a normal life.

“I … I can’t love you, for fear of losing you,” I admitted.

He gave a nervous laugh, his breath washing across my chest. “You won’t lose me, Rúmil. I’ll always be here.”

“It’s not that, Legolas. You see, every time I’ve admitted my feelings for someone, they have disappeared from my life. And so, I cannot allow myself to love you.”

“Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” I could hear the smile in his voice. But when he sat up and looked into my eyes, he saw that I was serious. “You don’t actually believe that, do you?”

“It’s already happened twice. Why should things be any different with you?” I justified. “Can’t we just keep things as they are now? This is nice. This is good. I can visit Mirkwood and see you, and we’ll spend our time like this.” I gestured to the bed.

“Rúmil, as much as I like sharing a bed with you, I want something more. I know this is not ideal, the fact that you live in Lórien and I live here, but I thought we could make it work. You’ll not be in danger of discovery, and when you’re here, you are free to be yourself. And then, perhaps someday, we might be able to be together more often, or all the time. Who knows what the future will bring.”

I turned my eyes from his and looked towards the door. “I’ve tried to make things work before. It never turns out very well. The fact is, I chose this life. I chose to become a soldier, and I knew damn well what all that entailed. I thought I could have it all, when I met Túron, and now I will never see him again. Then I came here, met you and … and I find myself thinking I can make it work again. But I know it will all turn to shit. It always does. If we keep things as they are right now, then maybe I won’t lose you. If I give in to my heart, I fear I’ll never be allowed to return to Mirkwood for whatever kind of reason that happens to interfere. I want to come back. I am so comfortable here. I’m comfortable with you, the way it is now.”

Legolas raised himself up, and swung his legs over the edge of his bed. His back was to me, and his head hung low. I looked at his back, the muscles in his shoulders tensing, his long hair flowing down his spine. I reached out to touch him, but he stood before my fingers found him. He grabbed his robe rather roughly from the foot of the bed, and slipped into it. I could tell that he was angry, and I felt horrible. I’d done this to him. He had just confessed his love for me, and at such an intense and intimate time, and I couldn’t return the feelings.

“Legolas, please … I’m–”

“No,” he interrupted, his voice low and angered. He glanced over his shoulder to the bed, but he did not look directly at me. His shoulders slumped and he sighed deeply. “No,” he said again, but this time his voice came out soft and airy. “Don’t say anything more about it. I should have known better. It was my fault. I let myself get in too deep.” He finally turned to me, and he was partially smiling, but it went no further than the corners of his mouth. His eyes were empty, emotionless. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “My father warned me, but I didn’t listen. I thought this was … I thought you and I were . . .”

“Please, don’t do this. You said I didn’t have to answer. You said you understood,” I begged. I was sitting on the bed with my knees tucked under me, the silk sheet pulled around my torso.

“I know and I thought I did, but–” His words trailed off and he tied the belt of his robe.

“Don’t be like all the rest,” I pleaded, and he paused to hear my words. “I’ve been down this road so many times, and each time ends like this. But we have a chance at something good here, Legolas, iaun nín. I’ve never had a place to go where I could have a normal life, even a temporary place like Mirkwood. And I’ve never met anyone like you, or felt such a connection. I don’t want this to end, not permanently.”

I could feel the pain that showed in his eyes. I could give him anything, but I couldn’t say that one word, and I know he wanted to hear it badly. Legolas stood in the center of the room, pulling the robe tighter around him. His hand came up to the back of his neck, and he looked at his clothes scattered across the floor. His eyes settled on me, confused and dazed.

“Say something, anything,” I begged again.

His lips parted as he took a breath. I thought he had changed his mind, that he was willing to make this work, to give me more time. I could almost hear the words come out of his mouth and I started to get off the bed and go to him. When I moved, he pulled back, lips closing into a tight line. He looked back to his clothes and picked up his leggings and undershirt. “It’s going to be daylight soon, and you’ll need to get going early.” He turned back to me, all sadness gone from his eyes, admiration contained, not showing on his face anymore. “You’ll need to see my father one more time before departing. I’ll go with you, but I need a bath first. I’m just going down to the bathing room.”

“Well, I’ll go with you,” I offered.

“No,” he said quickly, smiling after his rushed answer. “Don’t get up yet. There is still time. I’ve just got some business to tend to early. I’ll send for you when it’s time, alright?” He came over to the bed to get his boots.

“But–” I started. Legolas bent down and silenced me with a kiss. His lips were still warm and firm, but something was missing. The passion was gone. He released me and captured me, our eyes locking.

“I’ve always been too eager.” He huffed a laugh, his thumb brushing my cheek. “You heard my father.” He kissed me again, quickly this time. “Let’s not spoil our wonderful evening.”

“What about us?” I asked.

“We’ll see each other on the battle field, right?”

“And afterwards, when everything has settled, I’ll come back to visit you,” I promised.

He smiled and licked his lips, eyes darting to my mouth. “I’d like that.”

“Really?” I whispered.

“Really,” Legolas nodded. I couldn’t help think that the air was not completely clear between us. Perhaps he just needed some time.

* * * * *

I crossed the stone bridge to approach King Thranduil, who was sitting upon his throne. Legolas walked beside me. I hadn’t seen him since he left his bedroom this morning. He sent a servant to retrieve me. I thought I might not see him again before I left, but he was waiting at the entrance to the main hall. He smiled when he saw me, and some of the magic was back, but now it was muted with caution. Things weren’t the same between us anymore, and it was my fault.

“Good morning, Father,” Legolas said as we finished crossing the bridge. We stopped before the dais.

Thranduil crossed his legs, rested his hands upon the arms of his throne and tilted his head up in greeting. “And how are you this morning?”

“I am well,” Legolas answered tersely.

Thranduil’s eyes flicked to me then to Legolas, and back to me. “I assume you are ready to leave us today?” he asked.

“Yes, it is time that I made my way home. We have a war to prepare for.”

Thranduil hesitated. I think he was waiting for Legolas to say something, but when he didn’t, the King continued.

“My sentries are waiting for you at the main gates. They will escort you out of the Rhovanion. I’ve sent word to Lothlórien. They’ll be expecting you.” He reached his hand down alongside his chair, and pulled out a roll of parchment, sealed with his signet impressed into the wax, a beech tree. Thranduil held it out to me and I approached the throne, taking it from him. I held the rolled parchment in my fingers, as though it was made of hot coals. “We will await word from Lothlórien, and meet in battle,” he said.

I tucked the paper inside my tunic. Then I bowed to the King. “May the Valar protect your people and mine. Dol Guldur will fall, and our realms will know peace one day.”

Thranduil nodded slowly, eyes closing as he did. I could tell he was not keen with the situation, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

My eyes darted to my side where Legolas stood. I turned to him, our eyes meeting once again. I smiled. “Well, I guess we’ll meet again in battle.”

Legolas smiled and bowed, but his father interrupted our farewell. “I’m afraid Legolas will not be going to Dol Guldur,” he announced.

Legolas stood straight, eyeing his father. “You said I could fight again. You said I would lead my regiment to–”

“I know what I said, but something more important has happened,” Thranduil interrupted. He glanced towards me, as though he was considering whether or not he should have this conversation in my presence. It seemed rather urgent though, and he continued. “We have received word from Lord Elrond of Imladris.”

Legolas and I looked at each other before giving the King our undivided attention. I had no idea what this could be about. Imladris was not part of the war. They were a very small community, well hidden in a valley of waterfalls and rivers, far from Dol Guldur and the Rhovanion. Rivendell was the last safe haven for the elves. Certainly they had not been breached. But Lothlórien had, according to Thranduil, and that should never have happened.

The King continued. “A representative from every realm and every race are being called to attend a special gathering, a secret meeting in Rivendell. Gondor has answered, even the dwarves are sending someone. Lothlórien need not attend, since Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond are in constant communication. Mirkwood has been summoned to represent the elves as well as others here in the north.” Thranduil paused and watched Legolas carefully. “Mithrandir will be there. He is expecting us to send the prisoner.”

I could feel Legolas cringe beside me. He kept himself together though, and confronted his father. “I am needed in the war.”

“This is your mess, Legolas. You must go and deliver the news,” Thranduil insisted.

“Then send a messenger. I am a warrior, and my troops expect me to help lead them into battle,” Legolas argued.

“You were responsible for allowing the prisoner out of his cell, and in turn you are responsible for his kidnapping.” Thranduil’s voice boomed through the cavernous room. “You will go and represent Mirkwood, and that is final. Gather your things. You’re leaving with Rúmil and the sentries.”

I dared a look at Legolas, daggers shooting from his lovely eyes. Suddenly, our argument from earlier seemed insignificant compared to this new revelation. I should have known that Thranduil would find a way to keep Legolas from doing what he did best. I watched the stand-off between father and son, neither one moving, staring each other down. Who would move first?

Legolas took a deep breath, accepting his father’s commands. His head came up pugnaciously, jaw set, lips in a tight line, but his eyes were like the blue flames that drew me to him in the first place, and the moth in my chest fluttered desperately … chink … chink. The glass around my heart wouldn’t hold much longer.

“I will go, Father. I will represent our realm, and I will make amends with the wizard. I will tell Lord Elrond exactly what happened here, and I will take responsibility for my decisions,” he said without emotion.

“Very good,” Thranduil said satisfied.

I expected more of an argument from Legolas. I thought he gave in too easily. Why wouldn’t he stand up for himself? He was needed much more in this war than in Rivendell. Thranduil had him doing the job of a messenger. There were plenty who could do that. Someone else could represent Mirkwood at this so called meeting.

Legolas turned to leave his father’s throne, and he paused at my shoulder. “Come on. We’re leaving soon,” he said in a low growl. I followed him across the stone bridge and down one of the corridors. As we walked, neither one of us said a word. I almost had to run to keep up with him. I didn’t know where we were going until we got there, and we found ourselves in the garden. We didn’t stop at the door. We kept going, passing berry bushes, herb gardens, multiple vegetable plants and stalks of corn.

“Legolas, where are we going?” I called to him, but he didn’t slow and he didn’t answer.

The elves working in the gardens paused and looked up to see what was happening. Their eyes followed their Prince before they went back to what they were doing. I noticed how calm and celestial the gardeners seemed. They moved slowly and meticulously. I didn’t think they were used to seeing Legolas here very often, but it didn’t faze them at all, and they kept on with their work.

Eventually, we came to the grapevines. Rows and rows of green plants filled with big, round, red, juice filled grapes, ripe for the picking. They would be made into Mirkwood’s finest wine, used for trading with the Northmen. I hurried my tread, catching up to Legolas, and I grasped his shoulder. “Legolas, stop.” And he did. He just stood there, chest heaving from our fast pace, and he looked at the vines in front of him. “Why are we here?” I asked.

“This year’s crops,” Legolas said, his hand cupping one of the grape bunches. He picked one and popped it in his mouth. “The best one so far.”

“Shouldn’t we be preparing to leave?” I asked gently. “The sentries will be waiting for us.”

He continued staring at the grapevines, hands at his sides, completely oblivious to everything around him. I waited by his side, hoping for a response. Had he changed his mind about going to Rivendell?

“My mother used to bring me here when I was just an elfling. She would help pick the ripe grapes with the gardeners. It was something she used to do with her mother when she was young. Father used to complain that she was a queen, and the queen did not do common work, but she ignored him and said it would be good for me to learn the importance of labor. She was determined to make sure I was well rounded, not just the son of a king who could have anything he wanted with the snap of his fingers.” He picked another grape and handed it to me. I held it in my palm and examined it. “Go on,” he urged. “Taste it. You’ll not find any better than these. Mirkwood takes pride in its vineyards.”

I put the grape in my mouth and chewed slowly. It was very good, full of sweet juice that burst over my taste buds. Legolas watched me as I ate the globular fruit with a kind of longing. I thought he might kiss me, but he restrained himself from the gesture and turned back to look at the vines. “This was the last place I saw my mother before she died,” he admitted. I stopped chewing and swallowed what was in my mouth. Legolas was about to confess a very personal and private moment, and he would have my full attention. “It was right here. She was standing there, picking grapes. I was helping her. It was just another normal day. She was not in her usual joyful mood that day. I think that she and my father had some kind of argument, but I’ll never really know. Anyways, she was very quiet, and that was out of the ordinary for her. I tried carrying the conversation, but I couldn’t engage her. Finally, I gave up and settled on helping her pick grapes. After a long silence, she stopped what she was doing and sat on the ground. She pulled me to her. I can still feel her hands upon my arms, and see her pleading eyes looking up at me. ‘Legolas,’ she said, ‘One day you will have to be on your own.’ I didn’t know what she meant by that and I asked her. ‘You’ll set out on a journey that might take you far from home,’ she explained. I told her I could never leave Mirkwood, that it was my place to remain here as heir to the throne. She laughed lightly, but there was sadness in her voice. ‘That’s what your father would lead you to believe.’ She never finished that thought, and I was confused for a very long time about it. ‘Be your own person. Live your own life,’ she said. ‘There is a whole world out there, and there will be those who will look towards you for leadership.’” He paused from his story, and I moved closer to him, needing to feel his radiance.

“You will be a fine leader. You already are, Legolas. I saw that for myself when we fought the orcs at the river,” I encouraged.

“And it felt good,” he smiled, remembering how smoothly it went, how easily the elves gained their victory. “But I’ve realized something lately. I’m never going to find my own way as long as I’m in Mirkwood. My father will remain king until the last ship sails from Middle-earth, and he’ll always feel the need to protect me, to hold me back and keep me from achieving my true potential. Why do you think he’s sending me to Rivendell? It keeps me from going to Dol Guldur with the rest of my regiment.”

“I have to admit, I think your father is making a mistake. We could really use your talents in this war. Yes, your troops will join in the fight, but you are their heart. You are the reason they fight so well. They do it to please you.”

He nodded, but stayed silent. Then he peered at me over his shoulder. “Do you think she was right, my mother?”

I reached for his hand, tangling my fingers in his and squeezed. “She wanted the best for you, and she wanted you to be your best.”

Legolas smiled, head hanging, bobbing in agreement. “I wish you could have met her.”

“So do I, but I have a feeling she is never far from her son.”

Legolas straightened his back and looked down the long row of vines, as though this would be his last time. This place was significant to him, and I was glad he brought me here. It gave me hope that we would see each other again, though now I knew not where. We were to meet in battle, but now, with Legolas going to Rivendell, I didn’t think that would happen. It might be a very long time before I saw him again.

We left the garden and made our way back to the main hall. I went to my room to gather my things, and Legolas took care of a few errands and such. We agreed to meet at the gates where we would depart. It would be a long and treacherous journey out of the Rhovanion, but at least we would have this time together. We wouldn’t part ways until we got to the village of Arstad, just outside the old forest. There I would, hopefully, retrieve my horse that I left with a man named Balkí, so long as he didn’t trade her. Then I would head south, following the Anduin River all the way to Lothlórien. Legolas would continue west, crossing the Misty Mountains until he reached Imladris. We would be many miles apart, I thought, and it made my heart ache to think of it. How quickly I had gotten used to having him around, to waking up beside him. I thought I had done a better job at distancing myself from him. I knew the day would come when I would return home. I thought it might be a little difficult at first, but that I would go back to my old ways, old habits. I thought that the memory of Legolas and what all we had shared would be enough until I saw him again. I was finding that it wouldn’t do, and that I was going to miss him so much that it would hurt. That was the last thing I needed. I had already experienced that when Túron left. I wasn’t supposed to repeat the process with Legolas. Too many cracks in my glass dome.

* * * * *

We made it out of the Rhovanion without any major incidents. Legolas and I, and the two sentries managed to stay among the canopy, traveling during the daylight hours when the spiders slept. We didn’t see many orcs, and I wondered if that was a good thing or bad. No orcs meant no raids on Mirkwood. No orcs also meant that they were gathering elsewhere, and my best guess was Dol Guldur. Had they figured out that the elves were preparing to march there? If so, this war would be harder than I first thought. Only time would tell at this point. Once I got home, I would have a better idea of what was happening.

Traveling through the Rhovanion left little time for Legolas and I to talk and clear the air. Ever since our argument, there was a constant tenseness between us. I could feel Legolas’ anxiety over our final conversation, when he admitted his love for me, and I remained silent. I wish I could go back and change that moment in time, but the damage was done.

Arstad came into sight and we made our way there. Legolas and his men traded a few jewels, provided by King Thranduil, for horses. He told me he had enough to buy me one, too, just in case my grey mare wasn’t there anymore. To my surprise, the horse trader, Balkí, still had my horse. She looked well taken care of, thank the Valar. I wouldn’t have to break in a new horse.

Legolas went with me to the stables to examine the horses he was considering buying. I could hear the excitement in my grey’s whinnying as I approached her stall. “What’s her name?” he asked as we stood at the door.

“Suldal,” I said, reaching out to let her smell my hand. She bobbed her head up and down, greeting me as if to say, where have you been?

Legolas ran his hand down along the side of her neck, and she seemed to lean into his touch. I knew how she felt. I’d done the same thing as he held me or cupped my face. It was so easy to trust him, to give in to him, and let his satiny words calm the tortured soul.

“I will miss you,” I said aloud. I’d meant to say it to myself, but watching him, his gentle hands and sweet smile that made his eyes crinkle, I couldn’t keep it inside. These would be our last moments alone. I’m sure he would want to be on his way to Rivendell, and the sentries had looked antsy.

Legolas shifted, his feet crunching the sweet smelling hay on the ground. “You’ll become wrapped up in the war, and you won’t have time for a spare thought of me.” His smile never faded as he spoke, as though he was challenging me to say different.

“Well, yes, when I’m commanding or fighting, you’ll be the furthest thing from my mind, but that’s how it is, isn’t it? It’s in the quiet hours that I’ll think about you, and wish you were with me.”

He took a step towards me, but stopped, looking at the stable door, and someone interrupted our moment.

“There ye are. ‘Twas wonderin’ what happen’d to ye. Me horse came back without ye, and I thought somethin’ bad came of ye.” It was Balkí, the horse trader.

I rolled my eyes as I slowly turned to face him. “You told me that horse was good for traveling long distances and tight places, and at the first sound of trees creaking, I was thrown and your beast fled,” I said angrily.

“Maybe he just didn’t like ye,” Balkí challenged. He was a tall man, broad through the shoulders, lots of facial hair to hide his expressions, but not his eyes. They darted back and forth, a sign that he was lying. My own eyes turned to slits, something I had seen the Wood elves do when they felt a need to intimidate. It seemed to be working. Balkí fidgeted, rubbing his hands together, turning his head back and forth as though he was looking for a way out. Finally he confessed. “Well, what was I suppos’d to do? You’s were goin’ in that forest. I wasn’t about to let ye take one of my good horses just to feed the creatures that lurk in there. So I gave ye one I thought was dumb enough to take ye. Guess he was smarter than I thought.” I put my hand on the hilt of the sword at my side, and Balkí finished that thought differently. “’Course it was unfortunate fer you.”

“At least you didn’t sell my grey,” I mumbled, and Balkí’s guilt ridden face turned red. I took another step closer to the man, my eyes dangerously slit this time. “You were going to sell her? I gave you good money to take care of her.”

“Ye said you’d be back in a week, and when ye didn’t show … well, it would cost me more to keep her than what you paid me,” he confessed yet again. “But then I got that letter with the elf king’s signet telling me to keep yer horse, along with a hefty sum to pay for the extra expenses. So I’d be takin’ real good care of her fer ye. See? All plump and pretty like she was the day ye brought her here.”

A letter with Thranduil’s signet? I glanced over my shoulder, and Legolas gave a quirk of a smile and a wink. I should have known he would have thought of everything. He really did have it all planned out when I came to Mirkwood. I was never meant to leave quickly as I originally thought. I was glad for it too, but I wouldn’t reveal that just yet.

“You’ve some friends in high places,” Balkí said, seeing that my anger had subsided.

I kept my eyes upon Legolas. “Yes … yes I do.” My expression softened.

“How full is the inn?” Legolas asked the horse trader, hunger growing in his blue orbs.

“It’s fairly slow around here lately. I’d say there’s plenty of room.”

“Will you be so kind as to procure us two rooms? And make sure one of them is your finest available,” Legolas commanded.

Balkí wrung his hands together. “It’s not really my job to find housing for the guests . . .”

Legolas flipped him a gold coin, his predatory stare never leaving me. “I believe you can adjust your occupation just this once. You wouldn’t want to inconvenience the Prince of Mirkwood, would you?” He blinked slowly, and when his eyes opened, they were turned to Balkí.

Instantly, the man knew who he was dealing with. “Aye, yer the elf king’s son,” he said with amazement. “You’ll beg my pardon, my lord. Didn’t know that I was speakin’ with royalty. Of course, I’ll set ye up right with the inn keeper.”

“Thank you, Balkí. You’re influence with the towns people is very helpful.” Legolas sweetened the man with his smooth language, and Balkí left the stables, heading off towards the inn.

I raised a brow at Legolas, and he looked surprised. “I thought your mother taught you not to use your title as a way to get what you wanted,” I berated.

Legolas shrugged his shoulders. “It is a useful tool at times. Besides, you’re not in that much of a hurry to get home, are you? One more night in a comfortable bed?”

It was all well and fun, but I couldn’t overlook the fact that he had acquired two rooms. I guess my disappointment showed for he came to me, his nose nuzzling behind my ear. “You’re not leaving already, are you?”

“Well, no, not since you spent good money on a room for me,” I said softly.

“For us,” he corrected, his teeth lightly grazing the back of my ear.

“Oh.” I was surprised by this. I thought he was eager for us to part, especially since . . .

“Well, my guards won’t want to sleep out here with the horses,” he conceded. “They can share the other room.” He twisted a strand of my hair around his finger.

“I thought they were only escorting us to the forest’s edge,” I wondered.

“They were escorting you that far, but my father’s plans changed. Now he wants them to accompany me to Rivendell and back.”

I huffed a quiet laugh. “Is he afraid you’ll be ambushed?”

Legolas returned the laugh, his lips now trailing along my neck. “Perhaps he’s afraid I won’t return … willingly.”

I pulled away from him to look into his eyes. I thought there was more truth to that statement than he led on. Just as I was about to question him, he stepped away and backed towards the door, smiling radiantly as he did when he was through with a conversation. “Our room won’t be ready for a while, I’m sure. Let’s get something to eat. I’m starved.”

And just like that, I was in his hands, as malleable as clay, ready for him to mold me and shape me into anything he wanted me to be.

* * * * *

I discovered that the two sentries sent along with us were Legolas’ personal guards back at the palace. They weren’t much for conversation, always on high alert to their surroundings. They looked similar to Legolas, long wheat colored hair tied in warrior braids, tall, handsome, but slightly more muscular. Legolas seemed to ignore their presence most of the time. I guess he was used to them being around, but I wasn’t. They made me nervous, the way they were always there, watching, waiting for something to happen. What did they expect would happen in a small village like Arstad?

“Half the time, I don’t even know they’re there,” Legolas commented when I asked about them.

“Have you ever needed their protection?” I wondered.

He cocked his head and looked up at the ceiling of the tavern we were in. It was run down and old. The floors creaked as though they might cave in, and the walls were brown from years of people smoking pipe weed, the residue from the smoke embedding itself into the wood. “I suppose there was a time or two when they made me aware of imminent danger,” Legolas answered after thinking about it.

“At least they don’t follow you into battle,” I laughed, noticing that he did not. “They don’t do they?”

“I haven’t … been in battle since my father assigned them to me,” he sighed with embarrassment. Then his brows drew together as he gazed into the mug of ale set before him. It was warm and bitter, the worst ale I’d ever tasted, but it was wet and it helped to ease the tension between Legolas and me. “My mother was right about one thing. I’ll not find my own way as long as I’m under my father’s rule. He’ll not let me find my path in this world. There will always be someone to watch over me,” he said, nodding towards the two sentries stationed on either side of the tavern. Their eyes constantly scanned the room, focusing on anyone who approached Legolas, even if they were only passing by. “I can’t take much more of it.”

“Well, in defense of your father, he only does it because he loves you. You said he saw you die … twice … before the healers stabilized you heart. I can only imagine what that must have been like. If I had been the one to witness it, I would be devastated.” He smiled at my confession, and I felt his foot nudge against mine where they rested beneath the table. I continued. “But I wouldn’t keep you from a fight. I might fight alongside you from that moment on, but I wouldn’t hold you back.”

“It was good, wasn’t it, when we stood back to back, slaying orcs,” he reminisced.

“I felt invincible next to you. I was really looking forward to fighting beside you again. I think our regiments will be very compatible.”

“You’ll lead them,” he said. “I’ve already told them that when they join Lothlórien, they will be under your command.”

“I … I don’t k-know what to say,” I stammered. I had thought that someone else would command in Legolas’ place. “You trust me that much?” Our server came with two bowls of stew and a loaf of bread. We paused our conversation until the young boy was through. Then Legolas answered me.

“Of course I do. I saw your courage at the river. I’ve seen how you have conformed to our way of life in Mirkwood. You understand the Wood elves. Not to say anything bad against your brother or anyone else in Lothlórien, but no one knows us better, and I don’t think anyone else would listen to my troops. They are not there just to fight. They will have their own ideas and strategies too. You’ve seen what they are capable of. No one else has.”

“Legolas, I am … honored. Really, I am. I swear to watch over them, to lead them to victory, and I’ll do everything in my power to see that every one of them returns home.

“I know you will, Rúmil,” he smiled contentedly.

We were silent for a while as we ate our stew, but as I sopped up some of the gravy with my bread, a thought crossed my mind. “Does Corweth know that you’ve put them under my command?”

He laughed. “She does, and she threatened to cut off my balls before she would ever take a command from you. But not to worry. We had a long conversation about it. She’ll not give you any trouble. Besides, Messel will be there. She’ll help keep her sister on track.”

“I don’t know what I ever did to her to make her not like me,” I wondered aloud.

Legolas ripped another piece of bread from the loaf and handed it to me. As he did, our fingers brushed together in a deliberate way. I raised my eyes to his and they locked. “I think she is jealous.”

“Jealous? Of what? Of me?” His eyes sparkled deviously in the light of the lantern that sat on our table. “You said you’ve been with ellith. Was Corweth one of your female lovers?”

He sat back in his chair, his hand lifting to touch the side of his neck. Just as Thranduil played with the rings on his fingers when he was caught, Legolas’ habit was to touch his neck. I narrowed my eyes at him. “You did, didn’t you? You slept with Corweth,” I accused, and Legolas’ fingers drummed a nervous rhythm.

“Maybe,” he finally answered.

“Maybe?” I encouraged.

“Alright, yes … yes we did, but we were young, and neither one of us had been with someone before,” he confessed, his words rushing together.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You were both virgins? You lost your virginity to an elleth? I would never have thought–”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he interrupted, and I humbled at the thought.

“You’re right. We have barely scratched the surface with each other,” I admitted.

“And yet, it seems like we’ve known each other for a very long time,” he continued.

“I was just about to say that.” 

He smiled longingly. “I know.”

We finished our meal, and Legolas was gazing at me from across the table. I wondered if other people in the tavern had noticed, but I didn’t care. To be held within his stare was a glorious feeling, like the whole world paused around us, and it was just him and I.

“Shall we go to our room?” he asked, eyes smoldering with promise for what the night would bring.

I nodded and we stood from our table. Legolas gave the inn keeper some coins for our meal and the ale. Then he gave him a few more and told the man to give the sentries anything they wanted. The elf guards saw us heading for the stairs that led to the rooms above, and they started to follow us. Legolas held up his hand. “You don’t need to watch over me every second. Enjoy yourselves for a while. I’ve already paid the owner. Eat, drink, whatever you like, and when you’re through, there is a room for you both, but I’d like some private time now. We’ll be on our way at first light.”

The sentries nodded and bowed to their Prince. Legolas patted them each on the back, and they relaxed for the first time since we left Mirkwood. They had a seat on the stools at the bar, and the inn keeper brought them each a pint of ale. Legolas smiled deviously. “We won’t have to worry about them now. We have the whole night to ourselves, and the inn’s best room.”

We made our way to the room, and found that it wasn’t half bad. There was one bed, smaller than what we were used to in Mirkwood, but that would mean we’d just have to curl up to each other a little tighter. The sheets and blankets were fresh laundered, and there was a pitcher and bowl of fresh water to wash up with. Legolas had been rather generous with his coin, and the inn keeper showed his gratitude by having a bottle of wine sent to the room, already open and breathing, a set of pewter goblets neatly placed on the shelf where the bottle sat.

Legolas picked up the bottle and poured out the deep burgundy wine into each cup. “Let’s hope this is better than the ale,” he commented.

“I think horse piss would be better than the ale,” I jested. Legolas came to me and handed me a cup. We sipped together, our eyes latched onto each other.

“Not bad,” I said.

“Better than I thought it would be, but it’s no Dorwinion vintage.”

“Nothing can compare to Mirkwood’s best. I’ve had it before, you know. In Lothlórien. Every once in a while, there would be a cask or two,” I told him.

“A gift for your brother to let him know that all was well, and that our plans had not altered,” Legolas confessed.

“This was a long time in the making, wasn’t it?” I asked.

“And now it has come full circle.”

“But not for you,” I said sadly. “You’ll not be there when we attack Dol Guldur.”

We talked a bit more, but we were finding it difficult to keep the conversation going. There were only so many hours in the night, and I wanted to make each one count. The wine had done its job of loosening the tension between us. We never mentioned our mishap again, as though we were starting afresh. Knowing that we only had these few hours left meant there was no time for arguments.

Legolas strolled around the room, moving out of my sight as he came up behind me where I was sitting in a chair. His hands went to my shoulders, massaging my muscles most deliciously. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him, and he kissed my mouth. It was an odd sensation to kiss someone upside down, but unique. His fingers traveled along my jawline, tilting my head back more, and his lips left my mouth, only to find their way to my neck. His hands moved along the buttons of my tunic, undoing them one by one until my bare chest was exposed. He splayed his palms flat against my chest, moving to my stomach and lower until the tips of his fingers played with the waistband of my leggings. My body strained against the confining material, and my hips gyrated slightly.

“Do you want me?” he whispered.

“I always want you,” I answered.

“And will you want me when I’m gone?”

“I think that I’ll want you more.” As I spoke, Legolas came around the chair, standing in front of me. He leaned forward, his hands resting on the arms of the chair, his face just inches from mine.

“I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you,” he said, and he kissed my neck and shoulder. He got onto his knees, and kissed a trail down my chest and stomach. His hands untied my leggings, folding back the flaps and finally releasing me to the cool air. He wasted no time and took me into his mouth, engulfing me in his warmth, licking and savoring every inch. His tongue dipped and flicked, rounded the rim and then lay flat and heavy on the underside as his lips slid along my length. My hips bucked, coming off the chair, as I tried to get as much of myself into his mouth as I could. He hummed and the vibration sent a shiver through my spine. I wrapped my fingers in his long silky hair, and looked down to watch him work me. His head bobbed up and down. I loved watching him do this to me.

He stopped before things went too far, stood and took my hand, pulling me from the chair. “Come to bed,” he demanded in a whisper. I shucked my tunic from my shoulders, and stepped out of my leggings and boots. By the time I met him at the foot of the bed, we were both naked. We laid down in unison, facing each other, hands roaming over flesh, memorizing taste, touch, and smell. And I wondered how it had come to this. How, after all I had been through a year ago, had I let someone find their way into my heart again? The glass was too far damaged. The moth was almost free as it struggled to get to its flame … to Legolas.

He rolled me onto my stomach after using the oil he had brought with him. Then his body covered mine, and he pushed into me, slow and gentle, stretching me, filling me with more than his body. Legolas whispered behind my ear, telling me things that no one had ever said to me before. We weren’t just compatible, we were soul mates, he and I. I didn’t have to see him to know he was there. I knew his thoughts before he said them aloud. I felt his love for me in everything he did, and everything he said, but I just couldn’t take that final step when I knew there was no denying my feelings.

Legolas moved in and out, his body sliding over mine, moving easier as a sheen of sweat broke out over our skin. I felt myself building with every thrust, and I know he was too. I raised my arse and he came up on one knee, adjusting our position for the best penetration. And then he was pushing deep, hitting that one place that made my whole body sing. He pressed into me again, and his chest covered my back so that he could whisper into my ear.

“Say my name,” he demanded.

“Legolas,” I cried, his cock going deep and stilling. I could feel it pulsating, on the verge of release.

“Say it again,” he said pulling out and then thrusting right back to the same place.

“Legolas,” I called once more.

“I love you, Rúmil. Tell me you love me too.” His voice changed to a plea.

“I can’t,” I whimpered. He pulled back so that he was almost completely removed from my body, but just enough of him was there, teasing my sensitive passage.

“Yes, you can.”

“I’m afraid,” I confessed.

“I’m not going anywhere. This is different, and you know it. Tell me, Rúmil. I need to hear you say it.”

“It will ruin us, and I don’t want you gone like all the others.”

“I’m not like the others. I’m not like any of them. I’ll come back, and when all this is over, we’ll be together,” he explained. “I need to know, Rúmil. Please. Say it.” He was begging me, his voice so soft I almost couldn’t hear him.

And the dome shattered. And the moth fluttered around my vulnerable heart, its wings restarting parts of me that I had shut down a year ago. And the beats grew louder and louder, my chest pounding unrestrained. And the words bubbled to the surface, sticking in my throat. And my mind screamed, ‘just say it!’

“Rúmil,” Legolas whimpered behind my ear.

I turned onto my back so that I could look up into his face. His eyes had misted as he gazed down upon me, reaching deep into my soul. I knew I had no other choice. I must free the last part of my spirit. All the rest, Legolas had helped me to release, but this … this last thing could only be accomplished by me, and there would be no turning back. I reached up, my palm cupping his face, and Legolas leaned into my touch. I nodded, the last stubborn part of me hoping that would be enough. Then I smiled and it reflected back onto his face as it lit up.

“By the gods, with Eru as my witness, I love you,” I said. “I love you Legolas Thranduilion. I love you … I … love … you.” And I couldn’t stop saying it. And he smiled, his pearl white teeth flashing in the dimly lit room. And he laughed, as a tear threatened to fall. I tangled my fingers in the hair at the back of his neck, and pulled him down onto me. He buried his face in my shoulder, and I kept telling him that I loved him.

He scrambled to get between my legs, lifting them to his waist, entering me once more, and made love to me with such joy and relief. “Don’t stop saying it,” he said, and with every thrust, I admitted my love for him until I couldn’t breathe. We came together, our bodies trembling, our cries of ecstasy filling the silence. I never experienced anything like it, and I was sure I never would again.

We didn’t sleep that night. We would make love, and then lay quietly in each other’s arms, stroking, touching, just needing to feel one another, whispering our love, making plans for when the war was over. We knew we’d survive. We were confident. Our talent as warriors reassured us of that.

Eventually, the sun broke over the horizon. Beams of orange light leaked in between the cracks in the curtains. I hated this. I didn’t want it to end, and I told him as much. “Let’s never leave this room. Maybe your guards will give up and return home if we never come out.”

“And we’ll just live here, in Arstad, at the edge of the forest,” he continued with a laugh. “And drink bitter ale.”

“And forget about the world around us,” I smiled against his neck, covering him with kisses.

Something changed. I felt him stiffen, and I looked at his face. He wasn’t smiling anymore.

“I’ve lived that way for most of my life,” he said, and I realized how my last comment rang true for him. Legolas moved quicker than a flint strike, laying on top of me, staring at me with wild Wood elf eyes. “I’ll not live like that anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

“No,” he rushed to say, smiling. “I’m glad you said it. You’ve helped me make my final decision.”

“A decision about what?”

“I’m not going back to Mirkwood.” He sat up and I moved with him, staring at him.

“What?” I asked, astonished. “But you must go to Rivendell and–”

“And I will. I’ve already committed myself to that task. It is my responsibility to inform them about the prisoner. But when the council is through, I’m not going home.”

“Where will you go? What will you do? What about us?” I asked with desperation.

“I’m going to march with my army, with you and Lothlórien. I’m going to fight at Dol Guldur. As soon as I’m through with Rivendell, I’ll ride south. I swore I would come back to you, even if that means meeting you in battle. We’ll fight alongside each other as we did at the river. It will be glorious and we’ll know victory again.” He spoke with deep passion. He was a Wood elf, and that’s just how they were.

“Your father will be furious,” I reminded him, but he already knew that.

“He’ll forgive my decision when I come home victorious. And you’ll come back to Mirkwood to join in the celebration. We’ll be together again, alone, free to be what we are.” He had it all planned out, and it seemed like a solid agendum, but there was still the fact that my home was within Lothlórien. I made him aware of this, and he kissed my forehead. “We’ll make due, but one day there won’t be a reason to fight. The darkness will lift from the world, and the armies will disband. Then, you’ll be free to live where you want, and so will I.”

“You want me to leave Lothlórien?”

“And I’ll leave Mirkwood, and maybe we’ll come back to this ratty town,” he smiled.

I laughed. “There must be somewhere else we can live, if not in Lothlórien or Mirkwood.”

“Then we’ll start anew,” he convinced.

I brushed the hair from his face, tucking a strand behind his ear. “It all sounds wonderful, yet an impossible task. Who knows what the future brings. Just promise me you’ll come back.”

His fingertips caught under my chin, tilting my face up to meet his. He kissed me, slow and deliberate, and I melted against him. “I’ll meet you in the south, and we’ll start our journey there,” he whispered when he released me. “I promise I’ll come back to you.”


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

 

I was home. I was really home! I don’t think I ever realized how beautiful Lothlórien was. I’d never been away for this long or so far from home, but to come back now was bittersweet. Although this was the best feeling in the world, to see familiar faces, and embrace my brothers, a piece of me was left behind … a very important piece.

Parting from Legolas as we left the small village of Arstad was a difficult thing to do. He was strong and confident, of course, assuring me that it wouldn’t be long before we saw each other again, but I still had doubts. I admitted that I loved him, and the fear of my curse draped itself upon my shoulders like a dark shadow waiting to consume me. I just had to trust that this time it was different. This time it mattered, and I would let nothing stop me from loving him. Legolas assured me over and over that he was different from all the rest, and that he would return to me. I believed without a doubt that he would. He would do everything in his power to return to me. Only death would keep him away, and I prayed to the Valar every spare moment that nothing would happen to him.

I delivered Thranduil’s agreement directly to Lord Celeborn, and the planning began immediately. Haldir was involved in the stratagem, where we would strike, how and when, and at what point we should combine our efforts with Mirkwood. I sat in on a few of their meetings, a combination of Lord Celeborn, all of the March wardens from the four Border Guards, and at least one Captain from each. Orophin was the Captain chosen to represent the regiments of the Northern Guard. I was merely there as an advisor when it came time to discuss the placement of the troops from Mirkwood. I told them about their fighting strategies, especially what I had witnessed at the river. “They have the element of surprise, no matter where they are,” I suggested. “Give them the layout of the area, and they will know what to do.”

“And who will command these savage troops?” Raenor asked, uneasy with the thought of Wood elves running amuck. He was clueless as to what the Wood elves were capable of, just as I had been before going to Mirkwood.

I hadn’t thought this through. When it was agreed that Mirkwood would join Lothlórien in war, Legolas was going to be their commander. Then, when Thranduil told him he must go to Rivendell instead, Legolas said I was to command them. But on our last night together, he confessed to me that he was going to disobey his father’s orders and come south to join the fight, riding day and night until he arrived. No one knew about this part of his plan except me. And no one knew he had been sent to Rivendell to join in this secret meeting. I guess it was time they knew, then.

“I will command the Wood elves,” I spoke up, and everyone in the room turned their attention to me. It was deathly silent for what seemed like hours. It was Raenor who spoke first.

“You? How did this come about?” he asked skeptically.

“I haven’t been in Mirkwood all this time sitting around with my thumbs up my arse. I’ve been watching and observing, learning their habits, their way of life. I have fought with the Wood elves, and I know their tactics better than anyone here,” I explained confidently.

“But you are a Lórien elf. Why would they trust you to command their own? What happened to Prince Legolas, the King’s son? I thought he was their captain, and that he would lead them in battle,” Raenor questioned. He was not only distrusting of Wood elves, but he didn’t trust me either. Raenor had been the one out to ruin my name after everything that happened a year ago. For nine of those months, I was at the borders, and for the past three months, I had been in Mirkwood. Too much time had passed. Even the committee that was investigating the incident that was to be my downfall thought it was time to drop it all. Túron had taken the fall for what was supposed to be me and one of my men, drunk on wine laced with a hallucinogenic, caught in a compromising position. But Túron was gone, and the soldier quietly stepped down from the army to pursue a normal life with his lover. Haldir’s decision to send me to Mirkwood had drawn out the time even longer since all of that happened. Now, I had come home a hero of sorts, the only one able to convince King Thranduil to help Lothlórien destroy Dol Guldur. It was finally over, but Raenor wasn’t pleased. He would always be looking over my shoulder, waiting for me to make another mistake, but I wasn’t about to do that. I no longer had a lover in Lothlórien. Legolas was far from here, and there was no reason to think anything transpired between us. The last thing anyone would think was that an elf of Lórien had fallen in love with a Wood elf. Besides, I would only see Legolas in Mirkwood, making our relationship even safer.

“As I said,” answering Raenor’s questions. “While I was in Mirkwood, it was my goal to gain the trust of not only their King but their people as well. I did that by conforming to their way of life. I joined them in a small battle at the river, when orcs were seen trying to cross in an attempt to raid the palace. I fought hard and I fought well. The Prince, himself, can attest to that. I earned their respect. I also learned that not all of the Wood elves agreed with King Thranduil’s decision to remain detached from the outside world.” At this point, I gazed at Haldir. He turned his eyes from me. We would have to discuss this later. I continued. “Again, Prince Legolas was involved in this, and he looked to me for help in convincing his father to send troops to fight. We worked together in this effort, and as you can see, the results of our efforts have paid off. As for the whereabouts of the Prince, he was sent on an important mission, by King Thranduil, and with this change in plans, he asked that I lead his warriors into battle.”

“He will not fight alongside his warriors?” Raenor questioned. “Taking the coward’s way out.” He finished with a smirk, but I did not find any humor in this at all.

“Prince Legolas is not a coward,” I defended. “He wants nothing more than to fight with Lothlórien at Dol Guldur, but he must follow the King’s orders. He holds important information that he has been charged with delivering to Lord Elrond. It remains to be seen whether or not he will join us in the south. It depends on how long he must stay in Imladris. But I believe he will be there, and if not, then I have been elected to lead his troops. I plan on not disappointing the son of the last Elven King.” I stopped to look around the room. “You asked me here for my opinion about the warriors that will join us from Mirkwood. I’m telling you that they don’t need much direction. They are fierce warriors. Leave them to fight this war how they know best, and we will have victory.”

They asked me a few more questions, and I answered as best I could. After a long discussion, the meeting was adjourned and I was glad for it. I was tired, not having had any time to rest once I returned, only a quick bath and a few bites to eat. Lothlórien was anxious to get things moving. Scouts had reported seeing orcs gathering at the dark tower again, and in greater numbers. It was very suspicious, and we had a feeling that they somehow figured out that we were planning an attack. They didn’t know when, though. Not even we knew that at this point.

We left the room, and my brothers approached me, each one hugging me and ruffling my hair. It was just like when we were young. I didn’t realize how much I had missed them.

“My little brother, negotiator for Lothlórien,” Orophin boasted and laughed.

“I’ll pass on that title, thank you,” I responded half-heartedly.

Orophin slapped my back. “You managed to talk Middle-earth’s most stubborn elf into joining us. That’s no small feat.”

“It wasn’t me alone in this. I had help.” I glanced over my shoulder, knowing that Haldir stood behind me. “Enough about me. How are you? I heard you’d been injured.”

“Naught but a flesh wound,” Orophin said, brushing it off quickly. “But I’ve managed to spice up my story. Works well to impress the ellith.” He winked and nudged me with his elbow. “Speaking of … anything interesting happen in Mirkwood?” he insinuated.

“Oh, plenty of interesting, but not with any females,” I confessed. If my poor brother only knew, but thank the Valar he did not know my secret. “I’m afraid this visit was strictly business.”

Orophin frowned. “Too bad. I’ve heard some curious things about Wood elves.”

I decided it was time to change the subject. “So, are you two going to catch me up on all that I’ve missed while I was gone?”

“How about dinner?” Orophin invited turning to Haldir. “At your place?”

“Why do we always end up at my home?” Haldir complained. The fact was, Haldir had the biggest and most comfortable talan home, as well as a servant who always liked to cook something wonderful for the three of us.

“I’ve already told Egeril that she may have a few days off. I knew I’d be busy with all of this after Rúmil returned. So, I’m afraid you’ll not receive a proper meal if you come to my place tonight,” Haldir said to dissuade us from coming. But Orophin knew he still had a private stock of the best wine found in Lothlórien. He wouldn’t give up easily.

“I’ll bring the food. You contribute the wine. We’ll make a night of it,” Orophin insisted.

Haldir sighed, knowing there was no getting out of something that Orophin set his mind to. “Very well, tonight then. Rúmil,” he said without hesitation. “Join me for a moment, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” I patted Orophin on the shoulder. “As long as you’re bringing the food, mind scrounging up some sweet rolls? It’s been a long time since I’ve had any.”

“Anything for my little brother, the hero,” he sang.

I rolled my eyes and smiled as I watched him walk off. I thought about the news I received from Thranduil, that he’d been injured. It scared me. If anything ever happened to either of them . . . Without missing a beat, I turned back to Haldir, the smile still upon my face.

“We missed you around here,” Haldir admitted once it was just us. We walked slowly along the wooden paths within the mallorn trees. “Orophin mostly, though I was a close second.”

“Why do you say that?” I wondered.

“He was hurt worse than he leads on. An arrow through the arm.” Haldir stopped and shook his head from side to side. “Sliced some of the tendons, the healers said. He still cannot fire his bow properly. The strength has not completely returned. With time and exercising the muscles, he’ll be back to his old self, but he will not fight in this battle.”

I knew how devastating something like that could be, not able to fight for those who you feel it is your duty to protect. “I didn’t know.” I turned back to look in the direction he had headed off in. “I should have said something.”

“Orophin kept saying that it might have been you, if you were here to lead your troops, and he was glad it wasn’t that way. Still, he was worried about you, so far away and alone.”

“I wasn’t alone though. I was with the Wood elves,” I assured, even though Orophin was not there to hear it. “We’ve been wrong about them, you know. They are much smarter and braver than we give them credit for.”

Haldir nodded. “They are when they’re in their own environment. Take them out of Mirkwood, and I worry that their strategies might fail.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re wrong. I know you think you know the Wood elves, but you never spent time with them like I did. You never fought beside them, feeding off of their energy. It was an amazing experience.”

Haldir stopped walking and looked at me with hardened eyes. “You’ve changed, Rúmil.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, not necessarily, as long as you remember the rules here.”

“Which rules are you talking about?” I asked cautiously. Was he implying . . .

“The rule that no one makes a move without first discussing it with the March warden,” Haldir berated. I thought I knew where this was going, and it stemmed back to the days of Legolas’ grandfather.

“Do you think I will order the Mirkwood elves without telling you what I’m doing?”

“Wood elves have been known to answer to their superiors … only. I just don’t want you conforming to their standards so as to keep control of them. If you are to lead Prince Legolas’ troops–”

“If I give them an order, it’s because it is the right thing to do, not a way to impress them or control them.” I grasped Haldir’s shoulder and leaned into his ear, as a couple of elves passed us. “Listen, Legolas would not have asked me to take his troops to war if he thought there was even the slightest chance that they would disobey and go rogue. Let’s not forget that they are here because they wanted to be here, not because they feel that they must. These are the elves that did not agree with Thranduil, or have you forgotten that?” I backed off and looked him straight in the eyes. “And I wasn’t the one to piss off their King, either.”

Haldir’s hand came up and he palmed the back of his neck. “You found out about that?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t? The reason you sent me there was so that Lórien could get back into good graces with Mirkwood. It wasn’t all about that damn trial or Raenor. As a matter of fact, I think that whole thing was about to be dropped anyways, especially after our extended stay at the borders. Too much time had gone by, and if Raenor wanted to pursue it, he wasn’t going to get any more support from the council.”

“Alright, I admit that I had ulterior motives for sending you to Mirkwood, but if you knew about my involvement, you might not have been as convincing. Obviously it worked. Mirkwood will fight with us.”

“It wasn’t just me. Legolas had a lot to do with my success,” I admitted.

“You two … got along?” Haldir asked. If only he knew how well we got along.

“Well, not at first. I didn’t want to be there. I just wanted to relay the message and leave, but I was gifted with an arrow through my leg,” I said trying to be facetious. “But while I recovered, Legolas and I got to know each other, and he’s not at all what I perceived him to be.” I could feel my voice softening as I spoke of him, and cleared my throat to cover my emotions. “I thought it best to earn his trust and support first, more so than Thranduil. You know … to get to the king, first get to his messenger. That sort of thing.”

“I’m afraid Legolas and I did not see much eye to eye, but we put our differences aside to work together with our plan. I was having better luck with Thranduil, that was, until . . .” He gave me another hard look. “Did Legolas tell you what happened?”

“With the prisoner? Yes. As a matter of fact, that information came in handy with my negotiations.” Haldir quirked a brow in confusion. “I’ll tell you about it over dinner.”

Haldir seemed to humble a moment before we went on our way again. He bowed his head, twisting his hands, which was very unlike him. “Listen, Rúmil … I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was going on. I knew you would find a way to speak with the King, and I was afraid that if you knew everything, Thranduil would see through our plans. Legolas did of course, but I knew he’d find a way to involve you in our plot.”

“He revealed it slowly,” I said. “I didn’t know about your involvement right away. Legolas kept a lot of things to himself until he thought he could trust me. If it wasn’t for Legolas and his help, I don’t think Thranduil would even have listened to a word I had to say. It was a combined effort, and it worked. That’s all.”

Haldir smiled. “I look forward to hearing more about it over dinner.” By now, we were at my home, and I was ready to take a little break and relax, get my bearings, and think about Legolas. I was missing him something terrible, but I couldn’t let that show. If I thought it was difficult to keep my private life secret before, then this was a hundred times harder.

“You want to come in?” I asked Haldir as I turned the handle on my door.

He hesitated, thinking a moment, but shook his head. “No, no you just go on in, and I’ll see you tonight.”

“Are you sure? I’m tired, but I’ve always got time for my brother.”

“I’m sure. Get some rest. You’ll have some storytelling to do later.”

* * * * *

Dinner was wonderful. Orophin brought venison stew and two loaves of bread. We ate like kings, laughing, telling stories and just catching up on everything. It felt so good to be with my brothers, away from the outside world, reliving days gone by and days to come. The wine flowed freely, and we were all feeling the effects by the end of the evening. Orophin went out to relieve himself, leaving Haldir and I to talk. We found ourselves discussing our personal views of Mirkwood, and to my surprise, we agreed on a lot of things. The wine made me bold and I asked him about his time there, and why he went back multiple times. He tried to convince me that is was solely for the purpose of getting Thranduil to concede, but I remember Legolas telling me that he thought Haldir had met someone. I poked around for more information until Haldir was relaxed enough to tell me. And now was the perfect time, while Orophin was away.

“Alright, the truth then,” Haldir said when I wouldn’t let the issue die. “I did meet someone. Nothing serious, mind you, but we got along very well. His name was Tirnel and he’s a scribe.”

“A scribe?” I asked curiously. “Never thought of you as being interested in the type.”

“He was quiet, and I liked that. Being a warrior, being surrounded by soldiers all the time, and having to command them, I do love it, but I need peace and quiet from time to time. Tirnel was like that. I think that’s why I was drawn to him in the first place.”

“They do say opposites attract.” I didn’t think that was always true, though. Look at me and Legolas. We were more alike in every way than we were opposite.

“It’s a kind of sanctuary for us, isn’t it? Mirkwood, I mean … to be free of our inhibitions,” Haldir admitted, his voice as distant as he faraway look.

Sanctuary, I thought … iaun nín. By the gods, I missed him. “Yes … yes it is.” My pensive mood revealed the secret I’d been trying to keep. Haldir’s attention was fully on me now, as he eyed me.

“You met someone also,” he said, almost a whisper, as if the walls would hear. I nodded, but I wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s not easy for someone like us to find refuge, and when we do, we tend to gravitate towards it.”

“It’s not easy to switch back either, not after three months of living without restraints,” I admitted freely. “I became rather used to it.”

Haldir shook his head. “I never could quite relax in that way, and I continued to keep my private life private.” I already knew that, from what Legolas had told me. “Just remember that you are home now,” Haldir warned.

I nodded and Orophin came back inside, stumbling slightly as he walked into Haldir’s home. “You know,” I said to change the mood between Haldir and I. “They have some unique ideas in Mirkwood … the latrines for instance. No pots to clean or holes to dig. Perhaps we could explain the design to someone, see if we can come up with something similar.” And the discussion went in the complete opposite direction from the one Haldir and I were just engaged in.

* * * * *

Time either flew by quickly or it crawled at a snail’s pace. It depended on where I was and what I was doing. Commanding my troops, preparing them, strengthening them … there didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. But it was at night when I laid alone in my bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling the ghostly touch of my Mirkwood lover that time seemed to almost stop. I needed him. I missed him.

I took up my Captain’s position instantly, began training and practice with my troops, and got them ready for the upcoming war. There wasn’t much time before we left Lothlórien. Word had been sent to Mirkwood. The plans were set, and they would meet us just outside of our borders. It took some convincing. The Wood elves preferred to join armies just before entering the border of Dol Guldur, but that would mean having to travel as they usually did, through the trees within the Rhovanion. It was a dangerous route and it would take a lot of energy. Lord Celeborn wanted them to be rested and fresh, so he insisted that they travel along the Anduin River, away from the dangers of the dark forest, and meet Lórien, prepared and ready for war. Eventually, Thranduil agreed, but it was not easy. Because of this, I knew Legolas had not returned to Mirkwood. If he had been home, he would have seen to it that these concerns were met and agreed upon quickly. But if he was not home, then that meant he was either still in Rivendell or on his way south already. Would he keep his promise? Would he be there? I couldn’t see what would stop him. He lived to fight, much like me. We were alive when we were engaged in war, and we were never more alive than when we fought side by side. I could still remember what that felt like, but even more, what it felt like to be with him afterwards. I missed him … more than I thought possible.

The day finally came when we gathered our troops. Lothlórien’s army was a sight to behold when they were lined up, ready to march. I stood upon the platform that overlooked the practice grounds, gazing down upon my fellow soldiers. It was a glorious sight, all of them dressed in their armor, black and silver, smooth, flowing, solid. They were one large entity of strength and power, feared by all who stood in our way.

Lord Celeborn gave a single command and they moved in one motion, snapping to attention in unison. The sound of armor moving was deafening and quick. Chink! And they were standing straight and tall, facing straight ahead, bows strapped to their backs, swords glittering at their sides. I ached to be down there amongst them, but I was a Captain now. My duty was to lead them, to encourage them. My time would come when the battle commenced. Then I could join my men, get blood on my sword, and best of all, I’d see my Mirkwood lover.

“Look at them,” Orophin said with pride. “Can you already taste the victory?”

“Dol Guldur will not stand a chance,” I smiled, but my joy lessened as I looked to my brother, his arm secured in a sling. “I wish would were coming with me.”

“I’ll be there in spirit, Rúmil. You’ll do fine, brother. You’ll make us all very proud,” he encouraged.

“The borders I am used to. This is much different, going to a strange land to fight in an unknown terrain.”

“Remember all you’ve been taught, and you’ll be alright. Everyone is nervous for their first foreign campaign. Just remember to watch your back.”

I turned to him, and we grasped arms. Orophin wore his armor, from his helmet to his reinforced metal boots, even though he was not going with us today. We rested our foreheads against each other, the metal clacking. My brother was strong and brave, but I felt his worry for me. He wouldn’t be there to watch out for his little brother, and he’d always been there in the past.

“Haldir won’t let me out of his sight,” I assured. “Nothing is going to happen to me, Orophin.”

“I know,” he said. “That’s just it, Rú … you’re going to go there, fight, taste success, come home victorious, and you’ll have done it all without me. I’ve always felt a responsibility to you, to see that you were safe. Perhaps you won’t need me anymore.”

“I’ll always need my brother,” I whispered and pulled him into my embrace.

Lord Celeborn gave the command to march, and the army moved out of the glade. We were on our way.

* * * * *

Past the borders of Lothlórien the trees gave way to open green fields of grass. The sun shone bright from a brilliant blue sky above us. It was difficult to think that evil existed when one looked upon the beauty of the world. This was what we were fighting for, to preserve this right here, the freedom to live out amongst the sun and sky, and the miles of green that spread before us. And I fought for the freedom of Mirkwood, to prosper and grow as green as the field before me, and to share that new day with Legolas.

Scouts informed us of the approaching Wood elf army, and my heart quickened. They were here. They kept their promise to Lothlórien. I rode out ahead of the troops. I wanted to see this, Mirkwood in all its dangerous glory. I moved next to Haldir, looking out over the distance, and smiled to my brother.

“I knew they’d come,” he said with relief.

“Did you ever doubt me?” I asked arrogantly.

“Not you, brother, but Thranduil. I’m never completely convinced he will keep his word.”

I narrowed my eyes, and trained them on the distance. They were running, bows in hand, lightly armored, and dauntless faces ready for combat. I still felt a connection with these elves. I missed them all, and I couldn’t wait to be with them again. Their voices rose above the wind that blew across the field, whoops and hollers, their battle cry I supposed. There was something animalistic about the sound, like wolves howling at the moon. I wanted to howl back at them, and silently laughed at the thought. We stopped and waited for them to catch up, and I was jumping internally. He was there somewhere, Legolas. I couldn’t wait to look into those brilliant eyes, the ones that matched the blue sky above me. If only I could embrace him, kiss him, tell him again how much I loved him.

“Do they not march in order?” I heard one of the Captains complain. “Look at them running and yelling. They’ll draw attention to themselves. Is this how they’ll be when we’re near the enemy?”

“They’ll be feared most of all in the eyes of the orcs,” I defended. “You could learn a thing or two from the Wood elves.”

He huffed skeptically. “Not likely,” he muttered and disappeared back into the crowd.

“Listen,” Haldir called drawing the attention of all Wardens and Captains. “From here on out we put our differences aside. Mirkwood joins Lothlórien and we march as one. We’ll fight as one. And we will share in the victory. Today we are elves of Middle-earth, not Lórien and Mirkwood. This world belongs to all of us, and we will defend it as one entity.”

The first to approach us was Corweth and her twin Messel, along with a few of the others I remember from the river. They bowed and the leaders of Lothlórien bowed in return. Corweth’s face was stern as usual. “Mirkwood has answered the call.”

“And Lothlórien is most grateful to you,” Haldir answered.

While they went over the formalities, my eyes scanned the Wood elf army. Where was Legolas? The anticipation was eating me alive inside. Every head of blond hair I saw made my heart leap, but so far, none of them was Legolas.

“Captain Rúmil,” I heard Messel sing. “It is so good to see you again.”

“Messel,” I smiled, embracing her. “You don’t know how good it is to see you.”

“We’ve missed you around the palace. How are you?”

“I am well. Better now that I see all of you here.” I was speaking to her, but my eyes kept darting around to all the Wood elves as they passed us and mingled with the Lórien soldiers.

“You’re looking for Legolas, aren’t you?” she asked, but there was something off about her tone.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

Her smile faded, but the corners of her mouth stayed upturned for appearance’s sake. “He did not return from Rivendell.”

Had he not told her his plans? If Legolas would tell anyone his secret it would be Messel. “Actually, he wasn’t supposed to return.”

“You already knew this?” she asked with confusion. “But how? No one knew what would happen at the meeting.”

I creased my brows. “Legolas made up his mind before he left Mirkwood,” I informed. “He didn’t tell you? He said he couldn’t follow his father’s directions. He was going to leave Rivendell and come south, either to Lothlórien before we marched or here, at our meeting point.”

Messel shook her head. “No, he didn’t tell me this. But–”

“Perhaps he was late leaving Imladris and he’ll catch us up along the way,” I reasoned with myself, but there was something Messel hadn’t yet told me. I could sense it.

“I don’t know about your arrangement, but–”

“Just like Prince Legolas to keep everyone in the dark,” I laughed nervously.

“Rúmil,” she said, touching my arm, gaining my attention. “He is not coming.”

“Of course he is. He promised me.”

“A letter came from Rivendell. Legolas attended the meeting, and told them about the prisoner. He said Mithrandir held no animosity towards Mirkwood. And then Legolas said that he was not coming back.”

“What? Is he staying in Rivendell?”

“We aren’t sure.”

“What about the sentries that went with him? Don’t they know anything?” I asked with desperation.

“Legolas sent them back to Mirkwood at the conclusion of the meeting. He didn’t tell them anything. He just said that they should deliver his message to King Thranduil, and tell his father that he was sorry, but that it was something he must do. He had to contribute to the war in his own way. He said that Mirkwood should not send anyone to retrieve him, because he wouldn’t be there,” Messel told me.

I was beside myself. What had happened in Rivendell that Legolas would not follow through with our plans? At least he could have gone back to Mirkwood if he changed his mind about defying his father. But to defect to Rivendell altogether without word of what he was doing or why he was doing it, that was very unlike him. Either that, or I didn’t know him well enough. No, I knew him … didn’t I?

“Did he … did he say anything else? Was there a separate message … maybe something for me?”

Messel took my hands in hers and shook her head slowly back and forth. “I’m sorry, Rúmil.”

“Maybe he is still coming,” I tried to convince myself.

“His message came a while back. The meeting was held more than a month ago. If he was going to be here, he would have showed long before.” She tried to comfort me. “We are all worried for him, Thranduil especially, but we just don’t know what happened or where he’d gone.”

“What about Lord Elrond? Surely he knows what’s happened.”

“If he does, he isn’t saying. Thranduil contacted him and the response said not to fret, that it was strictly Legolas’ decision, and that he would be fine.”

I released Messel’s hands and turned from her. “He not coming. He’s abandoned his home, his duty. Why?”

“Perhaps it was too much. I know the guilt he carried over the kidnapping and the death of his men. Having to tell Lord Elrond and Mithrandir about his decision to let the prisoner out of his cell must have been very difficult. Rivendell has always been known as the elves last sanctuary. Maybe he stayed to find peace within himself, to try to forgive himself. I just don’t really know.” Messel stood next to me for a moment longer, then she laid a gentle hand on my arm, giving a squeeze before she left to join her sister.

“The elves last sanctuary,” I whispered to myself. “Could I not have been that to him?” What was in Rivendell anyways? Had he decided to join their guard, fight alongside the sons of Elrond? I thought back to our past discussions. I didn’t think he had any connections there, nothing that would make him choose Rivendell over his home. But wait. He said he’d met someone there, a musician. It was a very long time ago, and he was so young then, but maybe . . . “No,” I told myself. “He said he loved me.” Not unless he loved him more, my mind screamed. My insecurity came rushing back as I remembered what Legolas told me about this mystery elf.

‘He was gorgeous, auburn hair, beautiful green eyes, and a smile that took my breath away. I flirted with him all evening. It was shameless of me, I know, but I just couldn’t help myself. Oh, the things we did to each other.’

What if that was it? They had met again after all these years and the spark reignited. Legolas might have discovered that what he felt for me was just a residual emotion of what he felt about this elf. I had been so reluctant to give into him at first. He even told me he loved me and I could not answer. Had he told the minstrel he loved him? Had the minstrel said it back to him? And really, what kind of relationship could Legolas and I have, especially with Lórien being my home and Mirkwood his?

I told him what would happen if I admitted my love for him. And here it was once more, staring me in the face … my curse, my inability to ever know what it was like to have something normal. Once I let someone into my heart, they disappeared … first Túron and now Legolas.

“I don’t have time for this right now,” I scolded myself. There was a war waiting to be waged. My mind must be clear to think. I couldn’t afford this distraction, yet it was bearing down on me, making my heart ache. I should have made that dome out of stone, not glass. Now the pieces that Legolas’ love had broken in order to set me free were cutting into me as they forced their razor sharp edges back together. “Get it back together, and fast,” I berated. I could almost hear the clinking of glass as the dome reformed around my heart carelessly. Only a few pieces left, I thought as I walked into the group of Lórien soldiers gathering. My soldiers, I thought to myself. My army, my first love. I was a warrior after all, and that was something I could not undo. Toughen up and throw myself back into my work, that’s what I would do.

“He abandoned it all,” I told myself. To say it aloud made it real. “He should be here with his people, fighting for his home, fighting beside me.” The last piece of glass hovered, waiting for the moth to return. The flame was extinguished. There was nothing to attract it now. “He has a duty to his people. What could have made him do this?” I shook my head. “I thought I knew him. Why would he not return to where he was needed most?”

The light went out and all was dark. I got too close and singed my wings. I knew better than this, but I was manipulated. It still didn’t seem real. I thought I knew him. I was sure, without a doubt that Legolas loved me. This time it was different. I was so sure. And the voice in my head screamed, I told you this would happen.

* * * * *

Dol Guldur stood before us. The orcs were prepared. They had known we were coming. We had hardly stepped into the dark forest when we were ambushed. My troops took some casualties, but the Wood elves kept their cleverness. As archers, we distracted the orcs, but there was no surprise attack. We had to keep them focused on us while the swordsmen ran in. It was a bloody battle, and not as easy as we thought it would be. As I said, the orcs knew we were coming. The one thing that was to our advantage … the Nazgûl were not there. They had abandoned the dark tower a long time ago and never returned.

Haldir took his troops, as well as some of the Mirkwood elves, to the east of the tower, while I led my troops and the remaining Wood elves to the north. This was where the orc armies were heaviest. The rest of Lothlórien’s armies spread to different areas around the land, extinguishing smaller groups of the enemy, looking for traps and hidden exits where orcs could escape. The area was pretty well covered. 

My mixed regiment of elves fought hard, pushing the orcs back into their tower. We seemed to have the advantage until they unleashed an army of trolls. The giant creatures were dressed in armor, making it difficult to kill them. They were armed with spiked clubs and long chains that they whipped around, taking down anyone who got within range. I gathered my regiment, and ordered them to defend the line. Corweth told me the plans for the Wood elves. They would circle around and try to attack the trolls at close range. I didn’t like the idea of them getting so close. Trolls were difficult to kill without armor and weapons. These would be nearly impossible.

“We know what to do, Captain,” Corweth said, brimming with confidence. “You just keep your men on the line, and don’t fire past the trolls.”

I couldn’t disagree. The Mirkwood warriors already knew what they were going to do. They were merely telling me their position. I had to trust that Corweth knew what she was doing. Messel was about to go with her sister, but she doubled back. “I can stay here with you and your troops if you want. Corweth has this under control.” It was a genuine offer, but I could see the longing in her eyes to stay with her sister. I knew the feeling, the need to protect family. It couldn’t be ignored.

“Go with Corweth and the others. We’ll be fine here.”

“Are you sure, Rúmil?” she asked. Ever since she told me about Legolas, she kept a sharp eye on me. I think she was worried I would become reckless, and she was right. The thought had crossed my mind to run headlong into a band of orcs and just start slashing my sword, killing as many as I could before they engulfed me and outnumbered me. I would die that valiant death I had thought of before, earn my fëa a place within Mandos Halls.

“I’m sure. Now go before you miss all the fun.” I watched her run off to catch her sister. Then I gathered my men and commanded them to the line. They took their positions, and we waited for the trolls to approach. Finally, they came within sight. Their armor looked impenetrable with layers of metal overlapping chain mail. My men were within a tree line, but the trees would not give us adequate cover. It was all we had. This was Dol Guldur. The land here had died many years ago. The trees were bare. The soil was corrupted. Nothing grew on this forsaken sight. All we could do was shelter behind rotted trunks. Once the trolls were close enough, their clubs and chains would knock down what was left standing, and we would be in the open, vulnerable to orcs. For now, though, the cowardly bastards were letting the trolls do their dirty work.

“Lórien, nock your arrows!” I called to the line. Like a synchronized dance, they raised their bows and held an arrow to it, waiting for my signal.

“Ready!” I commanded, and they pulled their arms back, stretching the strings as they aimed for their targets.

“Fire!” A slew of arrows jetted through the sky, flying up and up, slowing, and then turning back to the earth. We watched the trolls become distracted as a hail of arrows rained down on them. Most just bounced off their armor. A few stuck into their thick flesh. No trolls fell, and that was discouraging.

“Keep firing!” I shouted, watching the activity. I watched for the Mirkwood elves to make their move. I needed to stop my men when I knew they were close. How would I know? It was so dark, even my elf eyes could not make out the distant shapes except for the trolls, and that was just because of their size. And then I heard it, the bird like whistle that Legolas had used. For a short moment, I thought it was him, but he wasn’t here. He was in Rivendell.

“That’s it! That’s the signal! Stop firing. Mirkwood approaches.” I repeated my command until everyone knew to stop.

“Swords ready!” Now we would join Mirkwood. As they attacked from behind, we would run out and meet our enemy. These trolls would cease to exist.

I waited anxiously, but no second whistle sounded. The trolls kept advancing. I waited even longer, and the enemy was closing in on us. Get too close, and we would be vulnerable to their whipping chains.

“Come on, Corweth,” I said to myself.

“Captain!” one of my men called. “They’re closing in.”

“Hold! No one moves a muscle until I give the word,” I repeated to my men, anxious to do something. So was I. And just when I thought we would have to retreat, I saw one of the trolls stumble and go down on its knees. A closer look, and I could make out the shape of a handful of elves attacking the fallen troll. One by one, the remaining trolls became distracted. “Forward! Attack!” I shouted, and we rushed towards the trolls. As we made our way, I could see elves behind the line of giants. Some climbed up the back of their armor onto their thick necks where they were firing arrows into the soft flesh. Others were slashing their swords at the backs of the trolls’ ankles, severing tendons that rendered them useless. They were turning to see what was happening, who was behind them, but they were large, slow and clumsy. It gave my men time to approach and attack. We outnumbered the troll tribe, and it took several elves just to bring down one ugly giant. It didn’t take long, and they were all down, but there was no time to celebrate, because we knew orcs were not far behind. We regrouped to quickly discuss our next move.

“I’ll take my people back to the tree line,” I said. “The orcs will know we are there, and they’ll rush in to do battle.”

“Good,” Corweth agreed. “Since there’s fewer of us, we’ll use the trolls as cover, and attack the orcs after they run past the bodies. We’ll surround them, and take them all down.

“Captain!” A messenger rushed up to me. “The March warden calls for your help. You and your men are needed east of the tower. They’ve found a nest of orcs, and the men need backup.”

“I can’t come now,” I explained. “I’m needed here. We’re about to extinguish an orc army here.”

“They are outnumbered, Captain. Haldir would not summon you if it wasn’t important,” the messenger pleaded.

“Go on, Captain,” Corweth said. “We can handle things here. I think the bulk of the orc army are where your brother is. He needs you.”

I didn’t feel right about leaving Corweth and the Wood elves here to fend for themselves. The orcs were unpredictable in this battle. “No, you’ll come with me. If Haldir is in trouble, they’ll need every last one of us.”

“We’ll not leave our post,” Corweth demanded. “This is where we will fight, but your brother calls for you. Do not ignore him. He’s family.”

She was right. My brothers and I never abandoned each other. If one of us called, the others came. “Alright, but watch these orcs. If it looks like there are too many, retreat to the trees. At least it will slow them down and allow you to get away.”

“We can take care of ourselves, Captain. Now go!” And Corweth dashed off towards the dead trolls to lie in wait and ambush part of the orc army.

I ordered my men to go to the east side of the dark tower, and glanced back one more time. There was no trace of any Wood elves. They disappeared into the darkness, blending in with their surroundings, just like they did in Mirkwood. And here I was with my men, heavily weighed down with armor, running right into the hands of the enemy. I didn’t like it one bit. Something didn’t feel right. I stopped and let my troops pass me, looking into the darkness, waiting for the familiar whistle that would signal the Wood elves. It all seemed too easy.

There was a moment when it seemed like time stopped. It became unusually quiet in that split second, and the hairs stood on the back of my neck. Then I heard the whack of an arrow punching into something next to me, and looked to see one of my men hit in the chest. He stood a moment with unseeing eyes before he collapsed lifelessly to the ground. I couldn’t move, as though my legs were stuck in quicksand. My head slowly turned towards the last place I’d seen Corweth, but instead of elves, I saw orcs. The Wood elves were outnumbered.

“Turn back!” I shouted to my men, but most were already too far ahead. “Back to the trolls!” I called, and only a few obeyed my orders. It was too late. Black arrows flew dangerously close to my head. One of my men actually pulled me away with him, heading towards the east where Haldir waited for help. But Corweth and the Wood elves needed our help. The trolls were the diversion, not the threat. Elves were dying because of me. I should never have left them there. I should have commanded them to come with us. I should have fought harder for Legolas’ people. I failed them. I failed him. I failed myself.

I ripped my arm from the grip of the elf who was pulling me from the danger. I couldn’t leave the Wood elves to fend for themselves. Legolas left them in my care and in my command. “I’ve got to go back,” I told the soldier. “Tell Haldir to send help this way. Tell him there’s another large army of orcs north of the tower, and that the Mirkwood army is outnumbered. We need back up … now.” The soldier nodded and ran off to my brother. I went towards the dead trolls, running as fast as I could go, firing my bow as I went. I had to make my way to them, to the Wood elves. They were my responsibility. Legolas told me I would command them if he could not. I would not abandon them. I would fight for them, for Mirkwood. I had to. There was nothing left for me to do, and I had to make this right.

The closer I got to the area, the thicker the atmosphere became. The metallic smell of blood permeated the air, and my heart dropped, for it was spilled elf blood that I scented. I made it to the dead trolls, and froze at the sight. Wood elves littered the area. Some faces were familiar, some were not, but they were my responsibility no matter who they were. And now they were dead. I searched the troll carcasses, and found some injured among the lifeless bodies. The ones who could move, I gathered together to help me with the ones who could not move. I had to get them out of there before the orc army came back. It looked like they forced their way through the area, expecting a much bigger army of elves than what they found. And then I realized what their plan was all along. While Haldir and his men assaulted the orcs in the east, this army would come up from behind. Lórien would be surrounded. My men were there now. I just had to hope my brother would figure it out and be prepared for the onslaught. There was no way of warning him now. It also meant that there was no relief coming here.

I took a head count, and found I had a number of elves still able to fight. I ordered them to set up a patrol around the injured until I could get them someplace safe. It seemed for every living elf, there were two dead, but I couldn’t think about that at the moment. I wondered what Legolas would have done in this situation. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t here. He should have been here, and I became angry to think that he stayed in Rivendell. There had to be a reason. There just had to be. He could have at least written me, and told me his plans, but he knew I would take his warriors and lead them in his stead. I began to think he had too much confidence in me.

“Captain,” one of the soldiers came to me. “You should come.”

This couldn’t be good. I followed the Mirkwood soldier, and what I found struck me deep in my soul. Corweth was kneeling on the ground, surrounded by bodies, elf and orc alike. In her lap, she held her sister, Messel. The first thing I noticed was the pool of blood beneath her. Messel’s tunic and leggings were soaked in red. I ran to them, and stopped behind Corweth, looking over her shoulder to the pale face of her sister. There was a large gash in Messel’s side. I closed my eyes and looked away. Corweth was crying, brushing her sister’s hair back from her forehead, and leaned down to kiss her there. I laid my hand on Corweth’s shoulder and she looked up at me, her eyes swollen with tears.

“She saved me,” she sobbed. “I didn’t see the creature in time, but Messel did. She jumped between us and his sword struck her instead. It should have been me, but she took the blow instead.”

I knelt next to them to examine the wound, and was surprised to see Messel was still breathing. “She’s still alive,” I said. “But she’s lost a lot of blood.” I glanced around the area, trying to think what I should do. “We need to slow the blood.” I wore my cape, the one I’d had since before I became a soldier. It had been a present from Fandir, and I swore to always keep it safe. Without a second thought, I took it off and used my knife to rip part of it off. I held it against the wound. My hands were shaking as I worked. “If we can keep pressure on the wound until the healers come . . .”

Messel coughed and blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. She opened her eyes to her sister and coughed again. “Corweth … you’re … alright?” she gasped.

“Thanks to you,” Corweth smiled, as tears escaped her eyes. “I killed the bastard who did this to you.”

Messel smiled, blinked slowly and turned her head to look at me. “Rúmil, you’re alright too.” She tried to sit up, but because of the wound and the loss of blood, she was too weak.

“Don’t move, Messel,” I told her, pressing my cloak against her side.

She rolled her eyes down, trying to see the wound. “Is it bad?”

I didn’t know how to answer. I debated telling her the truth, afraid she would give up the fight. My mouth flopped open and closed but nothing came out.

“Just a flesh wound,” Corweth answered for me. The hurt and pain in her eyes spoke the truth.

Messel knew it was bad. She laid her hand on her sister’s arm, and did her best to be brave and smile through the pain. “At least you’re safe, and that’s all that matters.”

We were losing her. Messel’s breath gurgled in her chest, and when she coughed, blood splattered. “Hang on, Messel. Help is coming,” I told her. Looking around the area, I saw an elf, though I didn’t know whether he was from Mirkwood or Lórien. It didn’t really matter. I called to him, demanding that he go and bring back a healer. The elf ran off somewhere. I hoped he’d find one in time.

Corweth held her sister’s head in her hands, crying as her tears landed on Messel’s face. “Don’t leave me, sister. What will I do alone? You are my twin, my second half.”

“You’ve always been the strong one,” Messel answered. “You’ll go on for the both of us. The war is not over. Mirkwood needs her daughter to fight for them.”

“You’ll fight again too,” I encouraged her. “We’ll get a healer and–”

“No, Rúmil. It’s too late for me. I can already feel the distant shores,” Messel said with peaceful calm.

“Messel, no,” Corweth cried.

Messel smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. Whatever little bit of life force was left, she used it now, to be brave in the face of death and comfort Corweth. “We’ll be together again. I just know it. And we’ll finally have that day in the sun, running through the tall grass, barefoot, a crown of flowers upon our heads. You’ll see. I’ll be there waiting for you.” Messel closed her eyes.

“You must hold on,” I commanded. “You’ll not die here on this forsaken ground.”

Messel’s eyes opened half way and she reached her hand out to me, snaking it behind my head as she pulled me down to her. I had to release the pressure I was putting on the wound to lean down far enough, until my ear was close to her mouth. And with her dying breath, she whispered to me. “He … loves you … Rúmil. Legolas … loves you … so … much. He … he told me … before he left. Don’t … don’t give up on him.” She rushed the last words to say them before she lost consciousness. Then her breathing slowed, and I heard her release her last breath.

“Messel?” Corweth cried. “Oh no, Messel. Please … no. My sister, no.”

There was no point holding the cloak over the wound anymore. Messel was gone. I collapsed on the ground next to the sisters, and pulled Corweth’s head onto my shoulder. “She should have been with me,” I confessed. “She asked to go with me, but I told her to stay here, fight with her people, with you. I thought that’s where she belonged.”

Through her sobs, Corweth lifted her head to gaze up at me. “It is where she belongs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be taking a short hiatus until after the holidays, as it has left me no time for writing. Thanks to everyone for following along. I won't leave you hanging too long, I promise.


	10. Chapter 10

It should have been more of a victory, but too many lives were lost at the battle of Dol Guldur. I guess you could say we won. We killed a large number of orcs, but those who did not die fled. The dark tower sat empty, though, and that had been our goal. A small number of guards were left behind to make sure the enemy didn’t come back. In the meantime, Lady Galadriel would discuss what would become of that forsaken land. It was far too ruined for anything good to come from it. The land was poisoned. Nothing would ever thrive there. Burn it to the ground, I thought. Leave a pile of ash and rubble in its place, and let nature decide what to do with its remains. That place would never be anything but a symbol of death and lost hope.

I wondered what King Thranduil would do when his troops came home. Would there be a celebration like the one they had after our battle at the river? Could they really find a reason to have a feast when so many would not return home? I also wondered whether we made the right decision or not, to call Mirkwood to our side. If Lothlórien had fought this battle alone, all those Wood elves would be alive. Messel would be with her sister, not lying cold and lifeless in a stone tomb.

We offered a special place just for the fallen Mirkwood warriors, but not a single one would be left in Lothlórien. The bodies would be prepared and wrapped in their death cloths, and they would take them back to Mirkwood. That’s where they belonged, they said, home under the Green Leaves.

I tried everything in my power to not think about Legolas. I didn’t know why he changed his mind, and I didn’t know where he was. If I let myself dwell on it, I became angry with him. He should have been with his people. Maybe not as many would have perished if he had been there to lead them. Maybe he would have been amongst the dead, a little voice reasoned. At least he was alive.

As soon as they were ready and well enough to travel, the Wood elves set out for home. I went to the borders with them, feeling it was the least I could do. Even after everything was said and done, they still respected me, looked to me as a leader and a friend. They told me I would always be welcome in Mirkwood, but somehow, I didn’t think I’d ever go back there. My one reason for returning wasn’t there anymore.

They filed out slowly, singing laments as they went. I’d never seen the Wood elves behave in such a somber mood. They were always bright and full of life. Now they seemed defeated, tired, but anxious to be home. I couldn’t help feel guilty for their sadness. I should have been a better leader. I should have done more to protect them.

Corweth walked alongside a cart that held her sister’s body, as well as other elves. Lothlórien had given them the carts and a horse for each, to help them deliver the fallen back to their homeland. I was proud of my people for their support. For the first time since I could remember, the two elf realms put aside their differences.

Corweth paused as she passed me, her eyes forlorn, tired, and red from crying. There were no tears now. She had mourned the initial shock of losing Messel, but she wouldn’t be at peace until her sister was put to rest in her proper place. Corweth stood before me, unmoving, looking at the ground, like a walking corpse who couldn’t take another step. She wore a dark green cloak, the hood pulled up over her head, the cloak hiding her body beneath it. Two white hands protruded from the folds of material, and took hold of my hands. They were warm, but not by much. I suddenly feared for Corweth. I thought her sister’s death might be too much for her and she would succumb to the grief.

“Captain,” she croaked. I didn’t think she had used her voice since that day on the battlefield. “I know we’ve had our differences, but we both cared deeply for Messel. You were always good to her. I just want you to know that I appreciate your kindness.”

“She was my friend,” I whispered, squeezing Corweth’s hands. “And so are you.”

She looked up at me from the safety of her hood, and my heart was breaking. I hoped to never have to look into eyes of such sorrow again. “You’ll come to Mirkwood again someday?” she asked, taking me by surprise. I didn’t think she would care one way or the other.

I wanted to say yes, just to be polite, but I knew Corweth could see right through me. Instead, I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. “I … I don’t know. Maybe, but don’t hold your breath,” I said truthfully. I think she appreciated my honesty.

“If you do, I’ll show you Messel’s resting place. I think she would like you to see it.”

“Then I’ll do my best to come back, but it might not be for a very long time,” I confessed.

“I understand.” She feigned a smile and released my hands, turning to catch up to the cart. But she stopped and glanced over her shoulder. “If I hear anything … anything at all, I will send word.”

I knew she was talking about Legolas, and I appreciated the way she told me this without saying his name. I was, after all, back in Lothlórien. That thought saddened me. I missed having the freedom of expression. “Thank you, Corweth.”

* * * * *

There was not much activity at the borders lately. I knew it was because of our recent war against the orcs, but it had been too quiet to be comfortable. Still, I went with my regiment when our time came. Usually, I liked going to the border, but without any threats, it left too much time on my hands, which let my mind wander too far.

I found myself wondering about Legolas regularly. Somehow, I didn’t think he’d run off with another lover, though the thought often reared its ugly head, especially when I laid in my bunk at night. I hated the nighttime worst of all. The mind played tricks in the dark. My emotions were much more stirred when I had time to draw up images, the darkness my canvas. But with the sun came clarity, and I was convinced there was another reason, but what?

Our duty had ended, and I returned with my regiment, back to the comfort of my home. I missed it, and I was glad to finally be able to sleep in my comfortable bed, eat my regular meals, visit with my brothers and talk about all the things we used to discuss. I was ready to fall back into my old routine, no scandal, no interrogations, just the boring side of me enjoying the calm of a soldier’s life.

Orophin was visiting his new lady tonight, and Haldir was off somewhere in secret, probably spending the night with whoever he kept waiting while he was gone. I quickly thought of Beldor, my  
‘warm body’ before I’d met Túron, and stopped turning to him for an evening’s comfort. No, I couldn’t imagine it. Too much had happened since those days. The last thing I needed was to fall back on my old ways. Besides, I still held out hope for Legolas. Messel’s last message to me made it clear that what I wanted most might still be achieved. She knew he loved me. There was a reason he admitted this to her. She was a witness, in case I ever had any doubts. So, did this mean he knew he was not returning to Mirkwood, or meeting me on the battlefield? I didn’t know, but I thought that he might be honest and tell me if he thought there was any chance of that not happening.

I lit a fire in the hearth, poured a glass of wine, and sat in my comfortable chair by the fire. Just as I was about to close my eyes and listen to the crackling fire, something caught my eye. It was sitting upon a shelf between my books and a box where I kept small memorabilia. The glow from the fire made it sparkle. I didn’t remember putting anything there, and wondered what it was. I set my glass down on a side table and got up, going to the shelf. I gasped at what I saw. It was my mother’s broach, a mallorn leaf made from green stone, set in silver mithril. I hadn’t seen it in more than a year. As a matter of fact, the last time I saw it was the last night I’d spent with . . . 

I reached out to pick it up when I heard a light knock on my door. Startled, I snatched my hand back from the piece of jewelry, as though it was an animal about to bite. The knock came again, this time a little louder, a little more demanding. My mind jumped to conclusions about my visitor, but no, it couldn’t be. My heart beat rapidly, and I forgot about the broach for the moment. The door was suddenly a thousand leagues away, but somehow I managed to reach for the handle and open it. And there stood my past staring back at me.

“Hello, Rúmil,” he smiled cautiously.

I forgot how to speak. I forgot how to breathe. I thought I was seeing a ghost or my mind was playing tricks.

“Túron,” I whispered disbelievingly.

He looked behind him, searching the shadows. “Can … can I come in?”

Everything came flooding back to me. Túron could not be here. If anyone should see him at my door . . . I stepped aside as a gesture of admittance, and he came in. I quickly closed my door. “What are you doing in Lothlórien?”

“I arrived while you were away at the border,” he said. “I, uh, had something important to report … about orcs gathering in Isengard.”

“You went to Isengard?” I questioned. In the letter he’d left me, he said he was going towards Gondor.

Túron shook his head. “Not at first. I was traveling through the Wold, and came across the nephew of the King of Rohan, who told me about the activity there.”

“The Wold? What on earth were you doing there?”

“The road towards Gondor had become too dangerous to navigate, so I went towards Rohan. I came upon a village here and there, and they took me in, in exchange for my wisdom. I came back to Lórien as soon as I found out what was transpiring in Isengard.”

I couldn’t believe Túron was here. I almost didn’t hear what he was saying. My brain was still trying to comprehend it all. I closed my eyes and shook my head in disbelief. “You’ve been gone for a year, no word, not even the smallest note, and suddenly here you are.”

“I couldn’t write to you. You know that. It was too much of a risk.” He took a step closer to me. “But I thought about you every day. Rúmil, I’ve missed you.”

“I … I’ve m-missed you too,” I stammered. “I’m sorry, I’m still trying to comprehend this.”

“It’s alright. I know what a shock it must be to you.”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

He watched my reaction, keeping his distance, unsure of what I might say or do. I wasn’t sure myself. Here I’d just started a new chapter in my life, and now Túron was back. I decided it was better to keep things on a professional level. “So, tell me about Isengard.”

“As I said, the roads were becoming dangerous. I thought it best to head south. It was there that I heard the rumors about Saruman. So, I decided to find out for sure, and traveled to Isengard to see for myself. It was complete devastation, Rúmil. Whole forests had been destroyed. The river had been dammed, and fires burned where water once flowed. The sound of clanking metal never ceased. The orcs were making weapons and armor, helmets with a white hand upon them. Saruman is raising a massive army for war.” As Túron spoke of what he saw, his eyes emptied of everything but fear. He was no longer seeing me or the inside of my home. He was looking past that, back to the scene he had witnessed at Isengard, and he was truly afraid.

“Are they coming to Lothlórien?” I asked, bringing his attention back to me.

He shook his head. “I don’t know where they will go first, but it’s likely they will not stop until every realm is broken and under Saruman’s rule.” As though he couldn’t stand it any longer, Túron rushed towards me and wrapped his arms around me. He buried his face in my neck and whispered. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.”

By instinct, I held him to me, shushed him, comforted him in my embrace, but something was different. The last time we were like this, I held him as though I never wanted to let him go. Now, I could feel my hesitation, and the need to release him. He must have felt it too, because he let go and stood back from me. “I … I’m sorry. I know it’s been a long time, and we didn’t part under the best circumstances . . .”

“I’m just … I’m shocked to see you. This was … unexpected.”

“I know, and I shouldn’t be here. Haldir warned me not to–”

“Haldir knows you’re here?” I asked.

“Of course. He was present for the council. Soon, everyone will know I’ve returned.” By everyone, I knew he meant Raenor. “But before word spreads, I just needed to see you.” He came towards me again, but my instincts caused me to react before my brain told me to, and I backed away.

“I can’t,” I said softly.

He stopped and didn’t come any closer. The look upon his face was tearing me apart inside, but I couldn’t, not now. “I’m … sorry. It was a mistake to come here.” Túron turned to leave.

“You can’t just show up here after a year and expect everything to go back to the way it was,” I said. He stopped, but he didn’t turn towards me.

“Maybe that’s exactly what I thought, Rúmil.” There was a bitter edge to his words.

“When you left, I mourned. I grieved as though I’d lost you. It took me a long time to find my way back, and I’ve learned some things along the way,” I told him.

“What have you learned … that you don’t love me anymore?” he said, hurt.

“No, Túron, but I’ve discovered what my love for you was all about.” I stepped towards him and grasped his shoulder. He looked at me from the corner of his eye. “When we met, I was swept off my feet. And just as quickly, I was dropped into an abyss of loneliness. It made me question the reality of it all. It was too much, too fast. And now . . .” I turned away, my heart breaking. “You know our situation. You know what happened, and the reason you had to leave. I thought I could handle it, but it almost destroyed me, and I can’t go through that again.” I bowed my head, shaking it slowly back and forth.

“I assumed too much by coming here. The last thing I want to do is to cause you any more pain. I should go,” he said saddened.

“But I–” I shouldn’t do this, I thought, and cut myself short from asking him to stay.

“But you … what?” he asked hopefully, eyes filling with the same.

“I … I … think you are right. You should go,” I said.

He looked me deep in the eyes, searching for something. “You’ve changed.”

And that was when I realized just what had changed. I was more confident than this. As a matter of fact, I’d never been so sure of myself and my feelings. When I learned that Legolas was not coming to Dol Guldur, my heart seized up, the dome was rebuilt and the moth put away in its cage, but it was not because of the dreaded curse. Damn the curse. I was not building walls to keep everyone out. I was merely saving my heart until Legolas came back. Whether he knew he was returning from Rivendell or not, it didn’t matter. He promised me he would be back. He confessed his love for me to Messel, knowing that she would tell me if ever I had any doubts about him. I should never have questioned whether I knew Legolas or not. I did, or I would not have given him my heart.

“Yes. Yes I have changed. I’m not the same elf that you left behind, Túron. I’ve seen more of the world around us. I know who I am now, and I’m much more than a soldier. I have much more to contribute.” With my self-inspiring speech finished, I looked at Túron to find him smiling.

“I’ve always known this about you, Rúmil. I’m glad to see that you’ve finally realized it, too.” His smile faded as he turned from me. “Whoever he is, he must be very special to have gifted you with such confidence.”

He caught me off guard with that last sentence. “Wh-who?”

Túron gave a huff of a laugh. “Whoever it is that holds your heart now. I’ll admit that I am a bit jealous that he accomplished what I wished I could have done.”

“Túron, I–”

“No, don’t explain. I know. I had my chance, but things weren’t meant to be. Duty got in the way,” he said sadly.

What was I to say? I never meant to tell him about Legolas, not unless he asked, but he already guessed it. “I’d never loved anyone before you,” I said, feeling like a fool for saying it.

“But you love him more.”

“It’s a different kind of love,” I tried to explain. 

“That’s what I thought we had.”

“Túron, don’t do this, please. I did not set out to find someone. For almost a year, you were all I thought about. But look at us. Look at our situation. How were we ever going to be able to make something work?”

“How will you make this new relationship work, Rúmil? Will you leave the army, abandon Lothlórien? What is different now?” he questioned, bitterness edging his words.

“He does not live here, and we can be together without worry in his home.” I wasn’t sure why I was telling him this, but I needed him to understand. I still had feelings for Túron. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore than he was already hurting.

“And that is the only reason?” he asked.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Túron. I met someone who I could not help but give my heart to. I trust him with it. I know he will not abandon me, even though he . . .” I stopped myself.

“Even though what?” Túron said, eyeing me.

“I’m not going to discuss this with you. The fact is, what we had–”

“No,” he stopped me. “The fact is, he has abandoned you, isn’t it?”

“That is not true. Our plans were altered, that’s all,” I defended.

“Our plans were altered too, but I held out hope for us. Do you remember what we told each other on our last night together? One way or another, we would find a way. You didn’t try very hard. And now this new lover has broken some kind of promise to you, and here I am, finally returned to you. Does that not count for something? I’ve come back to you, Rúmil. I said I would, and here I am. Where is he?” He looked around my talan. “Come out, come out.” Túron’s eyes settled on me once again. “He’s not here, but I am.”

“He will be here. I don’t know when or how long, but he will come. I’m done explaining. I don’t want to have this conversation with you. Túron, I can’t explain how the heart works. I was caught off guard too. And I’ll not make excuses for this change of events. I loved you once, and that was no lie. I still care deeply for you and for your well-being. But I cannot be your lover anymore. Maybe things would have happened some other way if our situation had been different, but it is what it is. We tried, and it was good for a while. I have no regrets. If I have failed you, I am sorry, but I can’t go back.”

He looked at me, sadness and anger in his eyes. “I’m sorry too.” Then he left.

* * * * *

A few weeks went by without much happening. No news came our way. It was quiet, but at least now I knew the reason why. The White Wizard, Saruman was up to no good it seemed, drawing orcs to him, building an army, but where would they strike? Lothlórien decided to stay neutral for the time being, just until we learned more. However, we would be ready at a moment’s notice if we were called into action.

I hadn’t seen Túron around, and I thought that he had left Lothlórien. I felt terrible about our last conversation. He tried to be understanding, but in the end he was hurt. I was hurting too. The last thing I wanted was to lose him again, but maybe this was for the best. It was such an awkward situation to be in. I couldn’t deny that my own emotions had been stirred by seeing Túron again. I was reminded of how good it had been between us, when we would pretend to be friends during the day, and then turn into passionate lovers at night. It was such an exciting time. But when I laid in my bed, alone, at night, it was thoughts and memories of Mirkwood and Legolas that made me feel more alive than I’d ever felt with Túron. Where my heart might have felt a twinge to think about Túron, it leapt and pulsed against my ribs when I thought of Legolas. I missed him tremendously, but I still didn’t know what happened to him. Where was he? Why hadn’t he written or sent a messenger? Had he ever returned to Mirkwood? I just didn’t know anything. Corweth said she would notify me as soon as she heard anything, but nothing came for me, no note, nothing. He must not have returned home.

Although things were tense on the outside of our borders, it was important to still have a daily routine within the city of Caras Galadhon. One of the popular pastimes, lately, was to listen to storytellers read to an audience of eager listeners. There were a few elves who could tell a story very colorfully. It did not matter that we knew the story like the backs of our hands. It was like listening to it for the first time, the way a few of the readers would tell it. I had been to a couple readings with my brothers. It was very entertaining, and it helped to get our minds off of everything, if even for a short while. There was another reading tonight, but Haldir had a meeting and Orophin was going with his lady. He invited me to join them, but I didn’t feel right about it.

And then, I was making my way to my office after a quick meal, when I happened upon Túron. He was walking with another ellon, someone I wasn’t familiar with. Túron hadn’t seen me yet, but I saw him. He was standing with the young ellon, halfway across one of the many connecting bridges. They were looking out across the city, talking and smiling, getting to know each other, I thought. That was a good thing. Túron was moving on. Very good indeed.

The young elf moved his hand, resting it on the middle of Túron’s back. The gesture was very obvious. The youth was interested, but Túron did not respond right away. His gaze continued to focus on the forest. The other looked disappointed, I thought, as he removed his hand. At that point, Túron turned his attention to his guest, and gave him a sweet smile. It seemed genuine enough to convince the ellon, but I knew him better. It was a forced smile, one of a person still harboring feelings for another.

The last thing he needed was to spot me, so I ducked my head and started to turn around and head in the opposite direction. But at the last second, before my eyes could look away, I saw him glance my way.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe,” I heard Túron say to the interested youth, and I knew he was coming in pursuit. His hurried tread verified my assumptions. “Rúmil!” he called out. I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t heard him, so I stopped and turned.

“Hello, Túron. I hope you are well,” I said in a tranquil manner.

“Everything is fine. Are, uh … are you busy at the moment?”

“Just heading back to my office. Why?”

His hand went to the back of his neck as he looked at his feet. “Listen, I’ve had time to think about our conversation the other day, and I feel that I need to apologize for my behavior.”

“Túron, you don’t need–”

“No, no. I need to say this or it will haunt me. I should never have put you on the spot like that. It’s just … I haven’t seen you for a very long time. I was expecting a different outcome and my emotions got the better of me. For that I am truly sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’ve given it some thought also, and I shouldn’t have expected you to understand or accept my choice. It was just such a shock to see you at my door.”

“That was my fault. I should have sent word or something before barging back into your life. In all actuality, I’m glad you’re happy. I’m sad that it’s not me who’s responsible for your joy, and I wish we had a second chance, but that’s just something I must learn to deal with.

“It looks like you’re dealing with it pretty well already,” I said, gesturing towards the ellon he had been speaking with. He was still standing at the other end of the walkway. Túron turned to see him wave and waved back, if not a little unenthusiastically. 

“He’s just a friend,” Túron said, and I had already come to that conclusion on my own.

“Seems like he’s interested in more than friendship.”

Túron actually blushed, and I’d forgotten how becoming a tinge of color on his cheeks was. “Yes, I got that notion too. I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head and looking at the ground. “Besides, I don’t know how much longer I will be in Lothlórien.”

“You’re not leaving already, are you?” I asked.

“Well, there’s not much going on here, and I like to stay on the move when I’m not needed.”

“Actually, when I hadn’t seen you over the past few weeks, I assumed you had left already. I’m glad you’re still here and that we got to talk.”

“So am I,” he admitted.

I knew I should have just walked away at this point, but things still felt awkward and unsettled. I really didn’t want that unease hanging between us. “Have you been to one of the readings before? There is one tonight that I thought I would attend. There’s an excellent speaker lined up who makes the story come to life. One of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure hearing. Haldir is busy and Orophin is going with his lady. If you have no other plans . . .” It was just a simple evening of storytelling, I justified. I wasn’t doing anything improper.

“You make it difficult to refuse,” Túron said with a grin. “Alright, I’ll meet you there.”

“I’ll reserve our seats.” I smiled and grasped his shoulder. “Thank you,” I said with sincerity.

Túron seemed happy with my invitation, but as he looked past me, his smile faded. I followed his gaze, and found Raenor watching us from afar. He seemed to be in conversation with some of his friends, but his eyes were glued to us.

“Maybe this is a bad idea,” Túron said. “Perhaps I shouldn’t–”

“Don’t let him influence you.” I kept my eyes trained on my adversary. 

“But aren’t you worried about–”

“Raenor will never stop. Greed for power drives him. I cannot look over my shoulder all the time. It is no way to live. But if he wants to spend his time tracking me and trying to find a way to discredit me, then he will never find what he seeks, because I will not give him the chance.” I spoke with confidence and looked straight at Raenor as I did. He looked away, but arrogance curled the corners of his mouth. He’d not find anything on me.

“If you’re sure then,” Túron said uneasily.

“I will see you tonight.” I smiled at Túron and he smiled back. Then we parted ways, but not before I gave Raenor one more hard glare. Just let him try to start something. It would be my joy to make him look like a fool.

Later that evening, Túron met me for the reading. We had a nice time within each other’s company. I was surprised at how easily we fell back into our enjoyable routine. We used to go to all kinds of events together, and since we could only appear as friends back then, there had been no tension. There was now, though, and I thought it might have been the incident with Raenor that made Túron uneasy. Well, I’d not lie and say that I was not a bit fidgety either, but it wasn’t because of my nemesis. Being with Túron stirred up old memories and feelings, but it was nothing I could not handle. As the evening progressed, things eased between us. I couldn’t just ignore him, after all. So, we had been lovers, but we had been friends too. My stay in Mirkwood had taught me not to throw something important to the wayside, no matter what it was. Túron was still important to me. I had loved him once, and I grieved when he was gone. But he was back now, and though I would not revisit certain aspects of our past relationship because of my feelings for Legolas, I would not toss away our friendship either. My heart was safe and secure within the glass dome, and now I knew that only Legolas could remove it.

After the entertainment had ended, Túron and I walked along the pathways heading towards our homes, speaking like friends, making small talk and whatnot. We came to the point where we went off in separate directions, and stopped.

“Thank you for inviting me tonight. She really was an excellent speaker. I felt like I was inside the story,” Túron said with a smile.

“I told you, you wouldn’t be disappointed. I’m glad you came with me. This was fun.”

“It really was.”

I placed my hand over my heart and bowed. “I will see you around the city, I hope.”

“I’m sure you will.” He returned the bow and we went our separate ways.

I didn’t get far when suddenly Raenor popped out onto my path. I couldn’t help feeling that he’d been following Túron and me tonight, and I wouldn’t put it past him to behave so blatantly. “Nice evening for stalking from the shadows,” I said.

“Stirring up old friendships, are you?” he asked condescendingly. 

“Actually, yes. Túron is an old friend,” I said arrogantly.

“Who was caught with one of your soldiers … in your office, I might add.”

“Are you really going to bring this up again? Have I not been interrogated enough?”

“Your brother did well to protect you. Sent you off on a campaign and then to Mirkwood. Avoiding the obvious, if you ask me,” Raenor accused.

“I was fulfilling my duty as requested by the March warden. Haldir may be my brother, but he is my commanding officer as far as the army is concerned. I was avoiding nothing.” I stuck my chin into the air pugnaciously. “I will not stand here and explain myself to you.” I walked away.

“You know, I always thought it was Haldir, but I could never find any evidence to support my suspicions. Perhaps I’ve been wrong this whole time,” he called to me, but I ignored his arrogance and kept on my path home.

* * * * *

The next day, I paid a visit to Haldir in his office. It was early enough in the morning that not many were about and we could talk without interruption.

“You’re here awfully early,” he greeted me as I entered through the door, shutting it behind me.

“Thought you might like to know that I had a minor run-in with Raenor last night as I was coming home from the reading, which, by the way, you missed a very entertaining evening.”

“I do regret it. She’s one of my favorite readers. Now, what’s this about Raenor?”

“He’s just up to his old tricks again, making accusations, raising suspicions. Túron and I were simply walking along–”

“Wait,” Haldir interrupted. “You were with Túron?”

“Yes, we went to the reading together, and were engaged in conversation as we were going back to our homes.” My brows creased as I eyes him. “Don’t tell me you have a problem with this also.”

“Rúmil, after everything that happened, don’t you think–”

“I think that Túron and I have made peace and managed to find a way to continue a friendship. That’s all. Nothing more,” I defended.

Haldir breathed deep and let it out slowly. “I don’t say this often, for I find Raenor positively despicable, but I have to agree with him about suspicions being raised.”

“What?” I blurted out, shocked that my brother would side with our adversary.

“What transpired last year was quite the scandal around here, and for you to be seen with Túron, especially after all that happened . . .” He lowered his voice as though someone might overhear him. “And how close you came to being … discovered … well, I would think that you’d want to keep your distance. People talk, Rúmil. Don’t give them fuel to feed their gossiping fire.”

“You, of all people, I would expect to understand this. There is nothing going on between us. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t, not now that I’ve . . .” I stopped before I revealed too much. “The point is, my heart does not belong to Túron anymore.”

“Your feelings for him were quite strong at one time. And now you’re telling me that you are only friends?” Haldir gave me a skeptical eye.

“I told you, I met someone in Mirkwood,” I justified.

“Yes, but I didn’t think it meant that you gave your heart away. You’re in love with this Wood elf, aren’t you?”

“This is not the time or the place to discuss my personal life,” I complained.

Haldir leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. I could tell he wanted to find out more about it, but he could also see that I wasn’t willing to divulge any more information. “The fact remains that your past friendship with Túron raised more than a few eyebrows. To rekindle that friendship now could cause those same people to–”

I slammed my fist down on his desk. This was enough, more than I could handle. “Why should I have to keep rearranging my life to please everyone else? I’m tired of it, Haldir. If they want to talk, let them talk. I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.”

“As long as you are a soldier in this army, you must,” he commanded, no longer speaking to me as a brother, but rather, as an officer. He lowered his tone and continued. “I don’t know what transpired in Mirkwood, but you have changed, Rúmil.”

“Maybe I am overdue for a change,” I seethed.

“What exactly do you mean by that?” Haldir said with a kind of warning in his tone that said I was treading dangerous waters.

“I’m saying that not all of their traditions in Mirkwood are farfetched.”

“Like the fact that you chose to stay with the Wood elven soldiers instead of coming to the aid of your brother when I called upon you?” There was venom in his tone, and internally I cringed.

“That is not fair. I stayed behind because Messel was injured beyond saving.” That day was still too horribly clear in my mind. Haldir requested the aid of me and my troops, and though I sent most of my men to join his, I couldn’t find the will to leave her side. “I was put in command of the Wood elves, and as their Captain, I chose to stay with a soldier in need.” I paused and turned my head away from my brother, as I felt the heat of tears building behind my eyes. “She was dying, Haldir. What else was I supposed to do?”

The room was silent for the better of a minute. “You’re right and I’m sorry,” he apologized. Silence fell between us once again. I went to the bookshelf and ran my fingers along the spine of one of the books red leather binding, red like the blood spilled that day. I heard Haldir shift in his chair, or perhaps he stood. I couldn’t be sure. “You were close?” he asked silently.

I nodded before I spoke further. “Messel and her sister, Corweth, were the first Wood elves that I came across on my visit. They were my escorts to the palace.”

“Corweth I know. She was usually present for my meetings with the Prince. Messel, I did not know.”

“Corweth and I had our differences, but it was Messel that always made time for me, taught me about Mirkwood. She was a dear friend, and I miss her very much,” I explained quietly. I swallowed and regained my composure, turning to face Haldir. “One day I’ll return to Mirkwood and visit her burial site. I owe her that much.”

Haldir stood and came to my side, handing me a paper with my latest orders. I took it, but he did not release it, and I looked up at him. “Who is he?” he asked with sincere curiosity.

“He is someone very special, someone I trust deeply.” That’s all I would say. I was not ready to reveal his identity.

Haldir nodded and gave a smile. “I can see that you experienced something unique while you were away. It’s changed you, and I’m happy for you. But whatever happened, you cannot enforce the same kind of behavior here in Lothlórien. I wish it could be different, but it is not.”

“No, it’s not,” I said with sadness, and I left Haldir’s office.


	11. Chapter 11

It was the middle of the night when I was awakened by Orophin. Still half asleep, I glared at him in the darkness of my bedroom. “So now you don’t even knock?” I complained groggily. The spark of a flint strike blinded my vision as my brother lit a lantern on the table. I held my hand over my eyes until they adjusted to the light. Taking another look at Orophin in the dimness, I could see that something important was happening. The seriousness of his countenance shook the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes, and I was wide awake. “What is it?” I said tersely.

“Get dressed. I’ll explain on the way,” he said.

I was out of bed and putting on my leggings as he gathered my quiver and bow. “Weapons?”

“Haldir said to meet him at the gates,” Orophin said. Now he had my sword too. I was searching for my shirt and tunic while pulling on my boots.

“The gates? What’s happening? Are we being attacked?” I asked with extreme concern.

Orophin shook his head as he looked towards me. I was still naked from the waist up, struggling to turn my shirt right-side-out. “No, it’s not an attack. The Lady Galadriel called us to duty.”

“The troops?”

“No, just us.”

I was shocked to know this. I had never been called on personally by Lady Galadriel. “I don’t understand.”

“She said she has an important mission, and that it must be carried out by the Lórien Three.” This was the name the people of Lórien referred to when speaking of me and my two brothers.

“This must be very important,” I pondered to myself. 

“It is. Now, hurry. Haldir’s waiting. I’ve got your weapons.”

I was finally dressed and took the quiver from Orophin, strapping it across my back. I sheathed my sword at my side and kept my bow in my hand. “Ready,” I announced and we were off.

As we approached the gates, I could see Haldir, but he was not alone. Then at a closer look, I realized that the cloaked figure next to my oldest brother was Lady Galadriel. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was happening. No army was called, just us.

She turned towards Orophin and me as we came closer. In all my long years, I’d only seen her half a dozen or so times. Lady Galadriel was a mystery to me. I’d had dealings with Lord Celeborn much more often, but never her. Galadriel’s eyes were stunning, rimmed with the light of the first trees, full of wisdom and love. I knew for a fact that she was a very powerful elf, one of the most important figures in Middle-earth. I still couldn’t understand why she’d called on Orophin and me. Haldir … yes, because he has met with her on many occasions. As March warden, it is one of his duties.

“Ah,” she greeted with the warmest and loveliest of smiles. “There they are, my most trusted Captains.”

Orophin and I both stopped immediately and bowed. It didn’t seem like enough. I almost thought that we should take a knee, but I knew that wasn’t necessary.

“My most gracious Lady,” my brother and I said in unison. Galadriel smiled, almost in a shy fashion.

“Lady Galadriel has summoned us for a significant matter, which must be kept between us and no one else,” Haldir informed us.

“Yes,” Galadriel continued. “I have had a vision. Well, not so much a vision, as it is more of an awareness. Something of great influence approaches the Golden Woods. I feel that it is concealed by someone. I also sense dread and anguish. The closer it gets to our home, the stronger the emotions grow. I have my suspicions as to what this is, which I shall not disclose to any of you. Your mission is to set out for the borders and find this intruder. Haldir, I will communicate with you. You shall be my eyes and ears. Your brothers will be your guards.”

“My lady, is it not wise to have some of the border patrol on call, just in case these are orcs that you sense?” I inquired.

“It is not orcs, and it is not an army,” she answered confidently.

“What shall we do once we come across whoever it is we are looking for?” Orophin asked.

“I want them escorted directly to me. You are to keep this matter between yourselves and no one else. I will deal with this personally.”

“As you wish,” Haldir said.

Galadriel wrapped her long fingers around his arm and nodded. “I’m sorry to have pulled you from your beds only to send you out with more questions than I have answers for, but this is a very critical matter and its secrecy is eminent. There is no one I trust more than the three of you.” Then she turned and walked back towards the city, leaving me and my brothers at the gate with our mysterious mission ahead of us. Haldir gestured towards the gates with a tilt of his head. It was time to be on our way.

We waited until we were well away from the protective walls of Caras Galadhon before we spoke to one another. I think we were all very curious and confused by this strange turn of events.

“She didn’t tell you anything before we arrived?” Orophin asked.

“Nothing, except that we should go east,” Haldir answered, mind set on his duty.

“What or who do you think we are supposed to look for?” I asked with curiosity.

“I have no idea, but I suppose we will know when we find it.”

* * * * *

We were nearing the end of our first day out with no sign of anything strange, when off in the distance we saw movement through the trees. Haldir signaled for us to take cover, and we did.

At first, I just heard the unsavory grumbling of a dissatisfied being. It wasn’t an elvish voice. It was too gruff, like grit in my ears. Haldir seemed bothered by it also. He moved to get a better view. Haldir would approach the stranger silently and cut him off. Orophin and I would wait for him before making ourselves known. I listened as this unhappy traveler went on about outsmarting the elves, thinking himself superior to my kind. Whoever he was, he was loud, not at all a good strategy when entering into the realm of Lothlórien. No one got past our borders without being found, but this individual seemed to want to be heard, I thought to myself. That made me even more skeptical, and I focused on the voice. And then Haldir was upon him, arrow aimed at his hairy head. That’s when I realized that it was a dwarf, but what was a dwarf doing in these parts? Typically, they stayed as far from elvish realms as possible. I heard Haldir make some snide comment, using his dry humor that only Orophin and I found funny. But what was a lone dwarf doing in—

Then I realized he was not alone. Through the thick branches and leaves, I could just make out two more figures. Both were men. One was tall with dark hair and a long black coat. The other was of the same height, but with lighter colored hair, and dressed like a man of Gondor, or rather, a soldier.

“Wait! Wait! This is all a misunderstanding!” said the dark haired man. “We mean you no harm. We come looking for help.”

I could see the dwarf’s face, the nervousness at having an elf aiming his arrow at him. Haldir was very intimidating looking, especially when he felt threatened. Although, these travelers seemed submissive, Haldir would take every precaution.

“How many of you are there?” Haldir demanded.

“There were nine of us, but we lost someone in Moria,” the man admitted. “Please, we have nowhere else to go.”

A new set of voices chimed in. “Yes, we’ve seen horrible things, and we need time to recover.”  
Two halflings seemed to appear from the underbrush, and then two more. I’d never seen the like, though I’d heard about Hobbits before. My arrow was still trained on the dwarf, but my arm loosened a bit, mainly due to my shock of seeing all these different races together. Orophin and I were still in hiding, and they hadn’t seen us. If any of these people thought they might overwhelm Haldir, we would be there in an instant, bows at the ready.

Haldir looked around at the group, silently counting heads. “You said there were nine, but you lost one. Yet I only count seven before me.” He whistled, our signal to come out of hiding. Instantly, Orophin and I were at Haldir’s side.

The tall man in the black coat turned around, searching for his missing companion. “He was here a moment ago,” he said, more to himself.

My eyes darted left then right, looking for the last person, when someone came running up to this eclectic group. He burst through the thick leaves and our eyes connected.

“Legolas?” I said in a whisper, lowering my bow. Every muscles went lax as shock and disbelief ran through me.

He looked terrible, with bruises and scratches, and a well-defined bump on his forehead. He was thin and much paler than I’d ever seen him. Sorrow sat on his brow, hope lost from his blue eyes. He looked like an elf defeated many times over.

“Rúmil,” he answered in a wisp of breath tinged with the relief of having seen someone he recognized. He took two steps towards me, as if he’d meant to run to me, and paused. Legolas’ eyes went from Haldir to Orophin, but when they came back to me, he seemed to say, ‘I don’t care who knows anymore. I just need to hold you.’ And I couldn’t help but feel the same. So I went to him, and we at least grasped arms. To feel his hand upon me rekindled every emotion of our last moments together all those months ago.

“What happened to you?” I asked with a furrowed brow. “You never came to Dol Guldur.”

“It’s a very long story, and one that I don’t have time to tell at the moment,” he said, looking past my shoulder to Haldir. Then he released me and stepped aside. “March warden,” he bowed, hand over heart.

“You know these … elves?” the dwarf asked, as though saying it burned his tongue. Legolas ignored him.

I waited to see what Haldir would do. After all, it wasn’t my place to make any decisions here. My oldest brother was in charge. For the moment, he refrained from acknowledging Legolas, and focused his attention on the rest of the group. Something was bothering him, as though he sensed a disturbance. I watched as he looked from one being to the next, his eyes finally settling on one of the hobbits. They narrowed on the Halfling, who took a step sideways behind the Gondorian.

“Who leads this group?” Haldir demanded. He looked to Legolas, but he shook his head slow and slight.

“We lost our leader,” said the man in the black coat. “Back in Moria, but he told me his plans beforehand, and he’d meant for us to come to Lothlórien. From there, I do not know where he had intended for us to go. I was hoping someone here could help us.”

Haldir looked around one more time, and then stuck his chin out pugnaciously. “You can go no further.”

A disbelieving mumble came from the group. Even Orophin and I were confused by Haldir’s decision. The dark haired man stepped forward. “Please, March warden, if you will just let us–”

“I said no further,” Haldir said rather strictly.

The dwarf said something in his own tongue, aimed at my brother. The dark haired man rounded on the dwarf and pushed him away, but Haldir stepped towards him, eyes turned dark and murderous. I’d never seen my brother like this before. He was not behaving normally, and I wasn’t sure what was happening.

“Take one more step into this realm, and it will be your grave … Dwarf,” Haldir seethed.

That’s when Legolas intervened. He got between Haldir and the dwarf, looked sympathetically at the man in the coat, and turned to my brother. “May I speak with you … in private?”

Haldir seemed to force himself to look away from the dwarf, and faced Legolas. Legolas glanced towards me. “And Rúmil too?” he asked.

Haldir collected himself and nodded. Then he gestured for me to come with them. Lastly, he told Orophin to stay and keep watch over the group while we discussed things with Legolas. Orophin nodded and turned to the travelers, arrow fixed to his bow, though he held it loosely.

“Will this take a while?” I heard one of the Hobbits ask.

“When it comes to elves, there’s no telling,” said another.

Haldir, Legolas and I walked a little ways from where Orophin kept watch over the group. Once we were out of earshot, Legolas looked at Haldir with begging eyes. “May I properly greet your brother?”

“You have one minute,” Haldir said, and he walked a few steps away from us.

Instantly, Legolas grabbed me and pulled me to him. He buried his face in my neck and sighed. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much. Forgive me, Rúmil. Please don’t be upset with me. I can explain all this.”

“Just tell me what happened? You were supposed to meet me in battle. And then Corweth and Messel told me that you never returned to Mirkwood either. So many things ran through my mind.”

“I knew you’d think horrible things. That’s why I told Messel to tell you that … She told you, didn’t she? Did she relay my message?” he asked with desperation.

“She said you confessed your love for me.”

“I did. I told her that should she find you questioning our relationship, she was to tell you.” He smiled and cupped my shoulder. “I knew I could count on Messel. When I return home, I will make sure she–” His words drifted off as he saw the pain in my eyes. “What? What is it?”

I found that I couldn’t speak of her death. I swallowed the lump that threatened to rise at the back of my throat, bowed my head and shook it from side to side. Legolas’ head fell and he released a whimper as he realized what I was telling him. “No, not Messel.” He stayed that way a moment, but lifted his eyes to ask, “And what of Corweth?”

“She is alive, but she’s taken Messel’s death rather hard. I fear for her.” I suddenly felt anger bubbling from deep within, hostility that I’d managed to keep buried up until now. I hadn’t realized it was there before, but now I couldn’t keep it in any longer. “A lot of Wood elves lost their lives at Dol Guldur. I led them as best I could … but … but . . . Damn it! You should have been there! They were your soldiers! They were your people, not mine! You should have fucking been there to lead them! Not … gallivanting around with these … these … I don’t even know who they are.” I was yelling, having lost my patience. “You abandoned your people … you abandoned me for them? How are complete strangers more important than your people?”

“I had to, Rúmil. I had to go with them. I swore an oath to help them accomplish the most important of tasks.”

“More important than the one you swore your love to?” I challenged in a low dark tone. “You promised you’d come back.”

“I know, and it tore at my heart to think of you waiting for me, and then finding that I’d disappeared.”

“And what about my heart!” I yelled again. “I trusted you with it, with my very life, and you abandoned me without a single word. Not a note, not a message, nothing.”

“I couldn’t tell anyone what I was doing or where I was going. Please, let me speak with Haldir, and then, if he allows us into the city, I will explain everything to you. But for right now, I need to see these people to safety. Will you help me convince your brother to let us stay, to let us speak with the Lord and Lady of Caras Galadhon?”

At that point, Haldir came back. “I need no convincing, Legolas. They cannot stay. I sense something. The Lady senses it as well. One of them carries something … evil. I will not allow it into my home and put everyone here in jeopardy. You, I will allow, but the rest must leave.”

Legolas hardly had the strength to argue. He looked absolutely beaten down. But at the mention of the others having to stay behind, he straightened his posture and looked my brother in the eye. “If they cannot enter the city, then neither will I.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Legolas was choosing these strangers over his own kind. “This is an elvish realm,” I argued. “You know how strictly protected it is here. We cannot just let anyone into the city, especially strange men, a dwarf and Hobbits.”

“I have been with these people since we left Rivendell. We have been through the most challenging times, seen horrors that will haunt me until I fade, and none of us has abandoned the other. I cannot and will not leave them now for the comforts of the city.” Legolas was very serious, and I believed him, though it was breaking my spirit. And here I thought seeing each other after such a long absence would be enough to convince him to stay. 

Just then, the man in the black coat appeared at the edge of the small clearing where we had been discussing things. He cleared his throat to make his presence known, and waited until he was acknowledged.

“And just who are you?” Haldir asked with annoyance.

Legolas spoke for him. “This is Strider, one of the Dúnedain, but you might know him better as Aragorn, son of Arathorn.”

Aragorn bowed with much respect in the style of the elves. I was surprised to see this. He must know something of our ways. Haldir seemed a little thrown off by this also. Perhaps he was expecting a confrontation, but this man just wanted to be heard.

“If you are worried about any of these people, I can assure you that we are peaceful, and I take full responsibility for each and every one,” Aragorn offered. “I am begging for your help. If you’ll just tell the Lady Galadriel that I am here, I think you’ll be surprised to see that she knows who I am. I have been to Lothlórien before, though it has been a while.”

“That may be so, but there is still the matter of this … evil that hangs over your companions. I cannot, in my right mind, allow it into my home. It is my job to protect the realm,” Haldir said.

“And I understand your concern, but–” Aragorn cut himself short as he noticed Haldir close his eyes and furrow his brow. I kept watch over him, remembering what Galadriel had said about him being her eyes and ears. She was speaking to him.

Legolas seemed confused too, and he looked at me as though to ask, ‘Is everything alright?’ I gave a slight nod and continued to observe my brother. It didn’t take long, and he opened his eyes, focusing them on Aragorn.

“Fine, you may pass into the city, but there is one thing that must be done first,” Haldir mentioned.

We made our way back to the group of strangers, and Haldir spoke to them. “The Lady of the Golden Wood has given her permission to allow all of you into the city, but it is for my own satisfaction that I request the dwarf wear a blindfold.”

“A blindfold?” the dwarf grumbled. “Why, the nerve of–”

“Gimli,” Aragorn interrupted. “I told him you would agree to this.”

“And since when do you speak for me,” the dwarf complained.

“You have only two choices, Master Dwarf. Stay here or be blindfolded,” Haldir offered again.

“And why is it only me who must be blinded?” he argued.

Legolas went to the dwarf and rested his hand upon his companions shoulder, speaking to Haldir. “If you will blindfold Gimli, then I shall suffer with him.”

“Legolas,” Haldir said. “There is no need–”

“No,” Legolas interrupted. “He is my friend and I trust him with my life. But if you do not trust him, then you do not trust me.”

Certainly, Haldir would change his mind, I thought. If I knew anything it was that Legolas was an excellent judge of character, and though I found it odd that he’d befriended a dwarf, I believed him to be serious.

“He’ll have us tripping over every root and stepping on every stone,” Gimli accused. “There’s no need for both of us to suffer.”

“As I have stood up for you, Gimli, I will also defend Haldir and say that he will not torture your feet or mine,” Legolas said. Although he was chivalrous and coming to this dwarf’s defense, I could tell by the exhaustion in his eyes that Legolas really didn’t want to do this. But he was as stubborn as his father, and I knew he would follow through on his word. I also knew that Haldir had an extreme dislike for dwarves, and that he would not change his mind about the blindfold.

My thoughts about this were confirmed as I watched my brother take a rag and rip it into two pieces. He handed one to Orophin and one to me. “Let’s go. We don’t have all day.”

Naturally, I went to Legolas, looked him in the eye and shook my head. “You don’t need to do this. Haldir knows you and trusts you. It’s the company you keep that he is suspicious of.”

“And I am a part of this company,” Legolas said, closing his eyes. I walked around him until I stood at his back and wrapped the rag around his head. As I tied a knot, I felt his shoulders jostle. “Enjoying yourself?” he teased in a seductive whisper.

“No,” I replied without mirth. “Not at all.”

“Oh, come now. Don’t tell me you’ve never fantasized about this before … blinding me, having your way with me,” he jested.

“You keep your wanton thoughts to yourself, or I’ll be sure to guide your feet over every stone,” I reprimanded, but he huffed a laugh of disbelief towards my threats.

It would take us longer than normal to reach the city, but that gave me time to consider what was happening. Four Hobbits, two Men, a dwarf and an elf, all traveling together. It was an odd combination to be sure, and I wondered how this group had formed.

I was Legolas’ guide, since he could not see, but I doubted he needed anyone to show him the way. He was an elf, after all, gifted with the most acute senses of all the beings in Middle-earth. Still, I was unusually glad he couldn’t see. My emotions were mixed all of a sudden, as I was unprepared to be reunited with Legolas by surprise.

“You’re very quiet,” he said. We were traveling at the back of the line, where Legolas said he normally traveled with the group. I had fallen back a bit, to give us a slight separation from the rest.

“How should I be?” I said. “I haven’t seen you for so long that I almost forget what you look like. Not a word from you in months after your disappearance, and now here you are, appearing like an apparition out of the thin air and keeping strange company.”

He walked along in silence for a few step, and turned his blinded face towards me. “Really? You forgot what I looked like? I thought I made a better impression upon you than that.”

I could easily fall back into playful banter with him, but I wouldn’t allow it. “You hurt me, Legolas. You promised that we would meet in battle, and you never came. But that’s not the worst of it. You never told me where you were or why you didn’t come.”

“I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell anyone. Not even my own father knew. He still doesn’t know. Does it mean nothing that, of all my friends and family, you are the first to know where I am?”

“I see you here, walking by my side, but I still don’t know what happened. Will you explain it to me now?” I asked with sincerity.

“I can’t, I’m afraid, at least not until we speak with Lady Galadriel. But I’ll tell you this much. It was completely my choice, and I did it, not for me, but for every elf in Middle-earth. I chose to represent all of elvendom, to swear an oath to those who have sacrificed so much for the sake of their own kind. I did it so that one day you and I might have a real future, and you have been my encouragement throughout this whole ordeal.”

He made it difficult to stay mad at him … that was for sure. I turned my attention on him as we walked along the path towards the city. “A great difficulty you must have gone through, too. You look terrible. What happened to your head?”

He reached up and touched lightly, the bump on his forehead. “Oh that. Happened in the mines in Moria. We were surrounded by goblins, and barely made it out with our lives.” He paused before he continued, and his voice dropped to just above a whisper. “One of us did not make it.”

“Who?” I asked gently.

“Mithrandir.”

“The grey wizard was with you?” I asked with astonishment.

Legolas nodded. “He was our guide. He was the only one who knew what our mission entailed. Gandalf spoke a little of our path with Aragorn. That’s why we came to Lothlórien. Gandalf meant for us to come here. Now, we are hoping that Lady Galadriel will know why, and that perhaps this is where we were meant to end up.”

“But what are you doing in the first place? Why are you together, and for what reason?” I couldn’t make sense of any of it.

“I promise I will tell you, but I can’t yet. We have to meet with Galadriel first. There are things she must be informed of, and hopefully, she will take this burden from us, and we will be free to go our separate ways.”

“And if this is the end of your journey?” I wondered.

He nudged me with his shoulder and our hands touched. His pinky wrapped with mine, our only way to show true affection for each other without making a scene. “I will expect a guided tour of Lothlórien, especially of your home, particularly your bedroom.”

“But what about Mirkwood?” I asked, refraining to notice his suggestive remarks.

“I will send word to my father, but first, I want to spend some time with you,” he admitted.

“I’m not sure how much time we will have together. This is Lothlórien, after all,” I warned, and released his finger just at the Gondorian turned around to check on us.

“You’ll figure something out, Rúmil. I know you have your ways.”

* * * * *

We finally reached the city, and began our long climb to the meeting hall of the Lord and Lady. Now that we were here, Legolas and Gimli were relieved of their blindfolds. Legolas’ eyes moved directly above him, to the thousands of lanterns that lit the trees. It gave the city a bluish glow, a very beautiful sight to behold.

“It looks like the stars,” Legolas commented, mouth hanging agape as he observed the area. “Simply beautiful.”

I smiled at his level of awe. This was my home, and I was very proud of it, but sometimes it took a visitor’s first impression to remind me of just how magnificent Lothlórien was.

“It’s just as I remembered,” Aragorn said, coming up beside Legolas as we climbed the stairs that wrapped around the extremely wide bole of the mallorn tree.

“How is it that you are associated with the elves?” I asked out of curiosity.

“My father died when I was only two, and, being of Númenórean decent, I was brought to Rivendell and fostered by Lord Elrond.”

“And you have been to Lothlórien, you mentioned?” I interrogated.

“A while ago, yes,” Aragorn answered.

Legolas smiled deviously. “Lord Elrond’s daughter, Arwen, is his betrothed.”

“Ah, now I see,” I smiled, matching Legolas’.

“I wish Elrond was as accepting, but that is a whole other subject I wish not to discuss,” Aragorn said quietly.

So, this man was in love with Galadriel’s granddaughter. No wonder he didn’t want to speak of it. Marriages between Men and Elves were forbidden for the most part, although there were a few acceptations throughout history. Now, my only hope was that Galadriel would not toss him out of her court. If Elrond was not keen on this betrothal, I wasn’t sure if she was either. All I wanted was for these people to speak with her, relay their message, and hopefully conclude their task so that Legolas and I could move forward.

Once we were at our destination, Haldir halted us. Everyone in the traveling company would enter the meeting chamber along with Haldir. Orophin and I were told to wait outside, as this was an important and intimate matter. Orophin wasn’t exactly happy with this outcome, but I knew Legolas would tell me later.

We waited for what seemed like a very long time before the doors of the meeting chamber opened. The company spilled out, looking worn and exhausted. Legolas stayed with Aragorn, talking in hushed tones. The Hobbits huddled together. Gimli, the dwarf joined Legolas and Aragorn, but the Gondorian man was behaving quite distantly. There was something about him that made me skeptical about his intentions. I had to trust that the rest of them knew him well enough to know this was just his personality, but as a soldier and a Captain of the realm, it was my duty to question anyone that I found suspicious. In other words, I kept a keen eye on that one.

Haldir approached Orophin and I, and gave a sigh of relief. “Well, Lady Galadriel recommends that they stay for as long as they need. They have been through some very challenging trials during their journey. They should recuperate and be allowed to mourn the loss of the wizard. Galadriel was quite overwhelmed by this news also. She was very close to Gandalf.”

“Will they be within the city?” Orophin asked.

“They were offered rooms in the guest quarters, but refused. I don’t think some of them are comfortable here, and they prefer to make a camp outside of the gates, yet within the borders,” Haldir informed. I didn’t understand this reasoning. If they needed time to recover, why not stay in the city where they could sleep in beds and eat hot meals?

I observed the Gondorian man, the one I heard referred to as Boromir. He looked frazzled and nervous. I didn’t care for him much, but maybe this was just his way of grieving. He went to Aragorn and pulled him away from Legolas and Gimli to speak in private. Gimli went to the Hobbits, but Legolas came to me, and I led him away from the others.

“What’s this about making camp outside of the city?” I asked him.

“The Hobbits do not like the idea of sleeping so far off the ground. Neither does Gimli. So they’ve decided to make a camp elsewhere.” Legolas looked very tired. I didn’t think he was too keen on sleeping on roots and stones again, but he seemed very attached to his new companions. He had changed since I’d seen him last. Although he still had his wit about him, he seemed more on edge, and it worried me a bit.

“Stay with me,” I suggested softly.

“I … I don’t know if I should. Like you mentioned before, this is Lothlórien.” He looked around at his company. “And it might not be fair to some of them if I–”

“Please,” I begged.

He looked me in the eyes, and I found my sanctuary within them, only now I thought I was his place of peace. The tables had turned. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t care anymore. I just … need you. Let me tend to your wounds. You need a good night’s rest. I can see how worn you are, and you can tell me about your journey so far.”

He searched my face, finding nothing but my sincerity, and nodded. “Alright, but I’ll come later. Let me have some time with my friends first, and once they are settled, I’ll come to you.”

“I’ll meet you at the gate,” I said. Legolas didn’t know his way around Caras Galadhon, nor did he know where my home was.

I felt an energy transpire between us, and wanted nothing more than to hold him, to comfort him and tell him all would be well. He was here now. Perhaps this journey was finally over.

“I wish I could kiss you right now,” he said very softly.

“Soon,” I promised with a hungry gaze, and he sucked in his bottom lip.

“Legolas,” Aragorn called.

Legolas nodded to me, and gave me a wink. Then he joined Aragorn for more private discussions.

I came back later, in what I thought was enough time for Legolas to get his affairs in order, and waited at the gate. When the guards asked me what I was doing there, I told them that Legolas had chosen to make his accommodations within the city, and that I was to escort him to his room. One of the guards offered to do this for me, but of course I refused. As I was finishing up speaking with him, someone called my name. I turned to find Túron approaching.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised to see him.

“Word spreads fast. I heard about the visitors, and thought I would see if there was anything I could do to help. They say four of them are Hobbits,” Túron said.

“Yes, and two Men and a dwarf there are too.”

“I’ve been to Hobbiton quite a few times, and wondered if I might know them. They are very far from home, and, as I’ve come to know Hobbits, they might be rather uncomfortable here.”

I’d known that Túron had been to the Shire, but I hadn’t known he was an expert in Hobbit behavior. “You’re right. They did not feel secure staying within the city because of the height of the guest quarters, so they are staying down here.”

Túron smiled at that. “Hobbits are small and better acquainted with being close to the ground. They make their homes beneath hills and knolls.”

“I never realized you knew so much about them.” I looked off in the distance, and could see Legolas coming up the path. “I’m sure they would like to speak with someone who knows as much about their home as they do, and you will be a great comfort to them, but perhaps it would be better if you waited until tomorrow. They are all quite exhausted from their travels.”

“Of course,” Túron agreed, and his attention flicked to the path outside the gates. “Someone approaches.”

All I wanted was to spend some time alone with Legolas, especially since we hadn’t seen each other in months. The last thing I wanted was for my former lover to meet my current one. What made it worse was that Legolas knew who Túron was to me, although he’d never met him. Túron knew I had someone new in my life, but I’d never given him a name. I had to hope that Legolas wouldn’t do or say anything inappropriate.

“Good evening, Captain,” Legolas greeted me. “Thank you for meeting me here.”

“Of course,” I smiled. 

Legolas addressed Túron, being very careful how he spoke. “Captain Rúmil has been so kind as to give me a tour of the city.”

“You’ve never been to Lothlórien before?” Túron questioned.

“Actually, no, but what I’ve seen of it so far is remarkably breathtaking.” His eyes settled upon me, smolderingly. “No description compares to seeing it with one’s own eyes.”

I realized I hadn’t properly introduced them, and though I wished I didn’t have to, I had no choice. “This is Legolas, one of the members of the visiting company. He is also the Prin–”

“Just Legolas will do,” he interrupted me. That was odd, I thought, but I took the strong hint and said nothing more about titles. 

“Legolas has chosen not to camp with the others, and join his fellow elves within the city,” I continued. Maybe if I kept the attention on Legolas, I wouldn’t have to offer the name of – 

“I am Túron, by the way,” he said, giving me a reprimanding glare for not making proper introductions. “Welcome to Lothlórien.”

Legolas smiled at Túron, but I could see the shock and dismay in his eyes. He knew the name. He knew exactly who this elf was, and when he finally looked at me, I saw his displeasure. “Túron, you say? Interesting name. Tell me, have you always lived in Lothlórien?” Damn it, he was fishing for information and confirmation.

“I was born in Rivendell, but I travel quite a bit now,” Túron answered. “Though, I have made Lothlórien my residence in the past.”

“Interesting,” Legolas said, drawing the word out. “And you live here now?”

“For the past few months, yes, and I am very glad to be back.” As Túron said this, he smiled at me sheepishly.

“And I can see why.” Legolas brought his attention back to me, and I wished that I could have shriveled and disappeared. Time to get out of this mess.

“Well, Legolas and I really should be going,” I said to break up this little meeting.

“Oh, yes, by all means. It was very nice to meet you,” Túron said sincerely.

“Perhaps we shall see each other again,” Legolas offered. “Dinner maybe?”

Túron started to answer, but I intervened before this went any further. “I’m sure you need your rest first. You’ve traveled far.” Then I turned to Túron. “Don’t want to impose.”

“No, definitely not,” Túron said with a daunt look.

“Well then, Rúmil seems to have my better interest at heart, but soon I would enjoy a bit of conversation.”

Túron seemed to lighten at the prospect. Ai, if only he knew who this was. But then, he would find out soon enough, and I highly doubted, once that happened, he would want to spend any time with Legolas. What a mess this was going to be.


	12. Chapter 12

I’d just managed to survive a most awkward moment, as Legolas and Túron met each other. Now I was walking around Caras Galadhon with Legolas, showing him the parts of the city that made me most proud. He was being very gracious, but the tension between us could not be ignored much longer. Whenever silence crept in between us, I pointed out something new to him. He would look and listen, but I knew he was only half paying attention.

“And that way leads to my office, and those of the other Captains, as well as Haldir’s,” I said, finishing my tour.

“Truly, Lothlórien is stunning. I really am glad to have finally been allowed to see it for myself,” he said.

The quiet came back, but this time I had nothing left to show him. And as his eyes settled upon me, I could see it was time to hash out this matter involving me, him and my past lover, who Legolas thought was long gone from Lórien.

“He has been living here for the past few months?” Legolas said, starting the conversation that I’d been avoiding all night.

“I can explain,” I blurted out before he started accusing me of things I hadn’t done.

“Explain what?” He was acting like he didn’t already know, the bastard.

“The reason why Túron is here. Honestly, I didn’t know he had returned until I came back from one of my campaigns. I was completely surprised and unguarded. Anyways, we had a very good talk. A talk and nothing more, and we have decided that we should not let our past stand in the way of our friendship, and … why are you letting me ramble on like this?” My words came out in a jumble.

“I will not interrupt you while you try to convince yourself that you are on the right side of this complication.”

“Convince myself? I need no convincing. I am sure of what has transpired. Túron and I might have … been together at one time, but we have moved past that. I told him straight away that I’d met someone else.”

“Oh, you did, did you?” Legolas said in an accusatory tone.

“Of course I did. I told him that . . . Why am I explaining this to you in the first place? Either you believe me, and you trust me, or you don’t, in which case you might want to–” My words were cut off by his lips crushing against mine. Any other time I would easily give in to this, but this was not the place to display affection, and I pushed him away. “Are you mad?” I complained.

“If you mean upset, then yes, I’m a little perturbed to find you living so close to your former lover, but I’m willing to listen to what you have to say. If you mean insane, well, I’ve been crazy for you ever since we met, and I find it very difficult to behave properly, or whatever is considered acceptable for Lothlórien behavior.”

“Kissing me out in the open is definitely not proper behavior. As a matter of fact, that kind of display could have me thrown out of here altogether,” I warned. “From now on, you’ll not touch me affectionately, you’ll speak to me as an acquaintance, and you’ll control your tongue.”

“Understood, Captain,” he said, immediately switching his attitude to one of professionalism. “And just so you know, yes, I do trust you. I do believe you … to a degree, and, before I turn into a boring stick in the mud, I’ll warn you that I will not be responsible for my behavior once we are behind locked doors, and my tongue shall do whatever it wants.”

I just stared at him and shook my head. “You are the most complicated, difficult to read ellon I have ever met.”

“Thank you,” he smiled and we were on our way again.

I didn’t see any harm in bringing Legolas back to my home. If anyone asked, he was my guest, and I was entertaining him. Of course, entertaining could be taken more ways than one. The fact was, I didn’t care what anyone thought. I hadn’t seen Legolas in so long, and all I wanted to do was get reacquainted again. Despite his playful banter a few moments ago, there was still enough tension between us that I knew we needed to seriously discuss matters before any form or reacquainting would happen. I readied myself for whoever I was about to address once Legolas and I were alone. I wasn’t sure what to expect once I closed my door. Legolas was a very mercurial kind of elf. We might start arguing right away, or we might find ourselves fervently rolling around on the floor. I could tell by the obstinacy on his countenance that the matter of Túron would need to be discussed before we went any further. I didn’t have to wait. As soon as we were in my home, Legolas began the conversation.

“I guess I don’t need to relay to you my concern about your friendship with your former lover,” he started.

“No more than I need to speak of my disappointment of your absence at Dol Guldur,” I countered.

“That is a completely different matter,” he argued.

“Is it though?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest to show my indignation.

“Well, for one, there is not the slightest chance that I would have relations with any of my fellow company,” he accused.

“Why don’t you just come out and say it, Legolas. You think I’ve slept with Túron, don’t you? And you claim to trust me? How dare you insult my intelligence.”

“Keeping cordiality between acquaintances is one thing, but remaining close friends with someone you’ve slept with is something altogether different.”

“You slept with Corweth, yet you have a very close and platonic bond with her now. And I never once questioned where your loyalty lay,” I implicated.

“It was just one time, and a very long time ago. What you had with Túron was something deep that cannot be ignored.”

“You are the one who taught me not to sever ties, no matter what or who they are with, to always leave a way back because you never know whether–”

“A way back?” he interrupted. “Is that what he is? How much longer would you have waited before you decided to go back to him?”

“I was never going to ‘go back to him’,” I said with a raised voice. “Don’t try to turn this around. What about you? You go off to Rivendell just to deliver a message, and you never return. Do you know the kinds of things that ran through my mind? How was I to know that you weren’t patching things up with a past lover? You want to talk about Túron and I remaining friends? What about you and that musician you told me about. Mending any severed ties while you were gallivanting around Imladris?”

“The musi–” He stopped, eyes dark and dangerous. “Is that what you think? Ha,” he said, throwing his head back in an exaggerated way. He turned his back towards me and shifted from one foot to the other. I could see him charging up with his response to my accusations. “For months, I’ve been traveling through forests and plains, around an icy mountain and through the deepest darkest mines. I’ve seen things that will always haunt me in dreams, and some that terrorize me with my eyes wide open.”

“And I’ve seen your people die fighting a cause that you convinced them to participate in, while you skipped over mountains and crawled through caves,” I said angrily. “I held a dying friend in my arms while you befriended complete strangers and ran off on some adventure.”

Legolas didn’t say a word, but the look in his eyes spoke for him. I was reminded of his father, when I tricked him into a bargain. Never again, that look said. He peeled his eyes from me and went to my door, slamming it behind him as he left, and my heart sank to the floor. I had accused him of choosing a side, of picking strangers over his people. And I had defended Túron, someone who Legolas thought of as a threat, instead of assuring him that he was all that mattered most. Why did I do that? I regretted it now.

I don’t know how long I stood there looking at my door, but it felt like forever. I should go after him, I thought, but my feet would not leave the place where they were planted. I was letting him go, just as I let Fandir go, and Túron. I didn’t fight for them. I just accepted that this was the way things would always be for me. But this was different, wasn’t it? This was Legolas, the flame to my soul, my sanctuary. Now he was gone, and here I stood like some mindless arse, rooted, unmoving. Once again, I would end up alone and . . .

Suddenly the door flew open, and Legolas came marching in, throwing the door shut behind him. I braced myself for something, a punch, a scolding … I just didn’t know. He didn’t stop until he was upon me, and then he grabbed me roughly and assaulted me with his mouth. I was so shocked, I didn’t respond at first. He pushed his hips against mine and I felt his desire hard as iron. My arms found their way around his neck, and I drew him into me. By the gods, his kisses heated me, and I rose to the occasion.

“Has he ever kissed you this way?” he whispered fervently between kisses. “Has he ever ignited your passion the way I do? I know you love me. If you will not fight for us, then I will. You’re mine, Rúmil. He had his chance. He cannot have another.”

“He has no chance, Legolas. You are all that I need.” I tore at the laces of his leggings as he finished undoing my shirt, pushing it from my shoulders. Before I could finish, Legolas was on his knees, tearing at my belt, and pushing my pants open. He took me in his mouth. It was so sudden, the sensitivity was euphoric. My hands went to the back of his head, and I looked down to watch him. I thought I would lose myself right then, but I held back, not wanting to waste the moment.

He came back up, standing, eyes smoldering, lips red and parted. I abandoned any form of control and kissed him, hard and urgent. “It’s been too long. It’s been far too long. I’ve missed you, Legolas. The not knowing was the worst though. But here you are in my arms again.” I said all the things I had wanted to say to him when I first saw him in the forest, but had to refrain from saying. These are the things I should have said moments ago instead of accusing him of abandonment.

“I don’t want to fight,” he admitted, nipping at the skin of my neck, my ear, sending shock waves of pleasure along my spine. “I just need to feel you, to know you are real … that I’m not just dreaming of you by my side.”

“I’m real,” I said and we finished undressing. I led him to my bed, and his eyes washed over me.

“So many times, so many nights during my travels, I’d see you like this. I would wish so hard that you were real. I could feel your warm flesh under my fingers, as though you were right there beside me. My body would come to life, and just as we were about to kiss, your apparition would disappear. Don’t leave me now.” He sounded desperate, as if he was still out there, somewhere, and not in my room, in my bed.

A strand of his hair had come loose and I tucked it behind his ear, caressing the pointed tip as I looked deep into his beautiful blue eyes. “I’m here, iaun nín, and you are here. There’s only us in this moment, in our secret world, and we will be one again.”

He eased me onto the bed, and we forgot about all of our troubles. The world outside my home ceased to exist. My inhabitations melted away. My mind, my energy, every fiber of my being was focused on Legolas. Here I found immunity within his arms, free to be the elf I’d always known I was. So long it had been since I granted myself this kind of freedom, and every time I tasted it, I craved it even more. To know I could ever afford such great pleasure with someone was something I never thought would happen to me, but to bear that experience without fear of serious consequences was something I could only dream of at this point in my life. I knew what I would have to give up in order to live freely, and that meant leaving family, home, and a military life that I’d worked so hard to build. It was easy to say yes when in the arms of my lover, and by the gods, how I wanted to do that, but I knew the severity of my actions would ripple out to my brothers, and put their own careers in harm. Now was not the time for these kinds of thoughts, though, and I pushed them aside as Legolas carried me to the precipice of our joy. I no longer had any fear of falling over the edge. I knew Legolas would always catch me.

Hours later, I lay next to him, my chest contoured against his back, teetering on the verge of the conscious mind and the dream world. We had been quite … enthusiastic … earlier, and if anyone had passed by my home, they might have heard a chorus of amatory moans coming from behind my door. Now I laid in my bed, languid and pleasantly sore.

Legolas, however, was deep in his dreams. I could tell by the way his chest moved slow and steadily with every breath. He needed his rest, as much as he could get. His journey so far had been full of danger. I had to think that this was the first real sleep he’d had since departing from Rivendell. He still hadn’t told me what all had happened, or how he came to be part of this company of strangers. He seemed very dedicated to them, though, especially Aragorn and the dwarf.

I could see his eyes moving rapidly behind the closed lids. He was dreaming. His breathing sped up and became irregular. His head moved back and forth, lips parting in a silent cry. This wasn’t just a dream. He was remembering. Legolas started mumbling something, but the urgency in his voice was unmistakable. I laid my hand on his shoulder and whispered to him, telling him he was safe, and that it was just a dream. I didn’t think he heard me though. He was too far into the dream world. Suddenly, he sat up, eyes wide open, sweat beading on his forehead, breathing erratically. He looked around the room, trying to get his bearings. Finally, they settled on me, but they looked frightened, as though he didn’t know me.

“Legolas, it’s alright. You were dreaming. You’re here with me. You’re safe,” I said to ease his mind.

He came back fully to the conscious world, wiped his brow, and looked at his hands. “He fell … again. Every night in my dreams, I see him fall.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Mithrandir. I couldn’t save him. I knew I should have tried, but he demanded that we go on without him,” Legolas said, reliving some horrible moment. I shushed him and pulled him to me, cradling him in my arms. He nestled his face into my neck and calmed. “It was all I could do not to go back for him,” he continued. “But he told us to take the Hobbits and get out. I paused, unable to make myself go without him, but he commanded it of me. I knew he was right. We had to protect the halflings, especially Frodo. And so I left, taking my place at the end of the line, making sure that everyone got out alive. But before I escaped through the doorway, I stopped and looked back. My mind told me to go back. Aragorn, Boromir and Gimli had the Hobbits. They were all watching out for them. Gandalf was hanging from the edge of the stone bridge. And then he slipped into the abyss.”

“Where were you when this happened?” I asked.

“The Mines of Moria.” Legolas paused, and his eyes turned frightful as he saw something that I could not. They shifted and looked at me. “It was a Balrog that Mithrandir fought and saved us from.”

I was stunned. “A Balrog? But I thought they were all gone, left to myth and legend.”

He shook his head slowly back and forth. “I’ve seen many evil things. I’ve fought wargs, spiders, orcs and Uruk hai, and I’ve fought them fiercely and without fear, but the sight of that Balrog struck at something primal and deep within me, and I was never so scared. It’s skin was cracked, fire and brimstone glowing between the crevasses. When it roared, it sounded like mountains moving. It breathed fire, sweeping its foul breath over anything in its way. I knew it was the one creature that I could not defeat. I’ve never felt helpless before, not until I saw that thing. I thought it was our end. I thought of you, then, and my hope died. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. But it was Gandalf that saved us. He was the only one of all of us who held any power against the Balrog. With his staff, he broke the bridge, and the Balrog fell, but it latched onto the wizard’s leg as it did, and that’s how he ended up hanging from the edge. Mithrandir looked me straight in the eyes, seeing my decision to go back for him, and he told me to run.”

“He saved you. He saved all of your lives by sacrificing his own. You shouldn’t feel guilty. You did as you were told,” I comforted.

“I’ve never run away from battle, or from someone who needed aid. That sight will haunt me for the rest of my days.” By telling me this, I could see some slight relief. Obviously, Legolas hadn’t discussed this with anyone.

“Take your rest now, iaun nín, and perhaps later we will both go and sing a lament for Mithrandir,” I said.

Legolas closed his eyes and slept lightly. I think he was afraid to dream again, and I couldn’t say that I blamed him. I stayed by his side, hoping my presence would help him relax. After a while, I felt stiffness in my back and legs, and I carefully got out of bed, slipping into my robe. I lit my small stove and put water on to make some tea. By the time it was ready, Legolas was up, and the sun was just starting to illuminate the forest.

“It’s never completely daytime here, is it?” he said from the bed.

“No, the canopy is so thick, not much light filters in. The city is always in a state of serenity because of it. They say that’s why some feel like time stops or slows in Caras Galadhon,” I explained.

“Elves have always lived in the twilight of time. It seems appropriate,” he smiled. Legolas became quiet again while I prepared our tea. I started to put a tray together, but I was never one for proper hosting. Instead, I carried in two cups, guessing he liked his tea strong and handed it to him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed now, the sheet draped across his lap.

“I have an extra robe,” I offered, but he shook his head while taking a sip of tea.

“Do you have to be somewhere today?” he asked.

“No, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me,” I jested as I took a seat next to him. 

He leaned in and kissed my temple. “Good. I need your company.”

We settled into silence, our shoulders resting upon each other. I felt like we needed that constant physical contact right now. Neither one of us wanted to be out of reach for the moment. It just felt good to have him back.

“When I left for Rivendell, I had it set in my mind that I wasn’t going back to Mirkwood, and that I was going to join you in Dol Guldur,” he said after a while.

“That was what we talked about,” I said.

“And I need you to know that it was ever my goal to get back to you … somehow … some way.”

I smiled at his confession. “And here you are.”

“Yes, but … you must know that this mission is not over, and when it is time, I have to go with the company. I swore an oath to them, on behalf of the elvish race that I would do what I must to see that … certain goals are accomplished.”

“Will you not tell me what is so important that my lover would choose this mission over our happiness?” I asked as gently as possible.

He looked at me then, face set in somber disposition. “I chose this mission to insure our happiness.”

“What is going on, Legolas?”

“You must swear to keep this to yourself,” he said in a hushed tone.

“I promise,” I agreed.

“While in Rivendell, Lord Elrond announced that a weapon of the enemy had been found. Representatives of all the realms had been gathered to discuss what to do with this weapon. After much debate, it was decided that the weapon must be destroyed, but then we had to choose who would carry out this deed. My first thought was that it didn’t pertain to me. I was here as a messenger for my father. I’d accomplished my task and told them about Gollum and his kidnapping. All I wanted to do was meet you in the south to carry out our plan, and get back at my father for all his meddling. Somehow, I was drawn into the argument. The dwarves started accusing elves of things that weren’t true, which, of course, I could not ignore.” He stopped and smiled at his own comment. “And in the midst of all the yelling and accusations, Frodo, the smallest and quietest of us all stepped forward, and claimed the task as his own. It was the bravest and most unselfish act that I’d ever witnessed. And here I was thinking that I was better than those irritating dwarves, and plotting against my father and imagining the look on his face when he learned that I had disobeyed him. Everything came into perspective for me. And as Lord Elrond agreed to allow Frodo to carry out this mission, Mithrandir stepped forward and said he would be the Hobbit’s guide. Then, Aragorn and Boromir volunteered as soldiers, to lend their strength and their swords to the cause. And it occurred to me, what was most important, and it was you … that one day we might know happiness with each other without worry. And I knew that as long as there was a threat to all people of Middle-earth, we could never reach that kind of bliss. So I stepped up alongside Aragorn and swore the protection of my stealth and my bow. Then it was Gimli who came forward with his courage and his ax. Lastly, the rest of the Hobbits came out, and they swore upon their devoutness as friends to do whatever was asked of them in order to see the weapon destroyed. A fellowship was formed, each of us lending our different strengths, and each of us doing this for the greater good. So you see, Rúmil, I may not have come to you as I said I would, but you were never far from my thoughts. It was with you in mind that I made my decision to swear an oath to this fellowship, and if I must leave here tomorrow, I go with you at the forefront of my thoughts.”

“You have changed so much since I saw you last,” I said.

“How so?” he asked worriedly.

I smiled and cupped his cheek. “You’ve matured. You’re responsible … not that you weren’t before, but it is very clear to see it now. You’re father cannot be disappointed in you, or he would be called a fool. Send him word. Tell him what you have done. He will be so proud to know this.”

“And what about you?” he said.

“You’ve made me love you even more.”

* * * * *

We took our time that morning, and eventually dressed and went out to find the rest of Legolas’ company. I was happy to escort him around the city, and I was anxious to meet this fellowship in the light of the new day. Yesterday had been a whirlwind of emotions for everyone, and our greetings were short. As we made our way to their camp, I asked him about everyone.

“And how is it that you ended up befriending Gimli after your exchange of words in Imladris?” I wondered.

“It all started when he accused me of falsely imprisoning his father.”

“And did you?”

Legolas laughed. “Actually, yes, I did, but he and other dwarves were trespassing, and with the rise of the darkness in the Rhovanion, we imprisoned anyone who we found suspicious. We learned that our fathers despised one another, and that their influence was what led us to our own judgments. But as we’ve been forced to travel together, to share the same food and sometimes the same bed–”

“You better not have,” I interrupted jokingly.

Legolas bumped my shoulder and I stumbled. We were both caught up in the moment, laughing, when Túron appeared on our path. Legolas and I were slow to collect ourselves. It was so easy to lose myself when I was with him.

“Good morning, Rúmil … Legolas,” Túron said with a bow, and suspicion in his eyes.

“Good morning … Túron, is it?” Legolas responded with a bit of a jealous edge.

I stepped between them quickly and cleared my throat. “Good morning to you, Túron. Are you coming from our visitor’s camp?”

“Yes, I brought them something to break their fast, and to speak with the Hobbits. They were very happy to talk to someone who has been to the Shire before. I promised to send for word of their families and their home while they are in Lothlórien. They have also agreed to accompany me on a tour of the city, so long as we do not travel too high in the mallorns. Perhaps you would care to join me later?” The question was directed at me and not Legolas. I started to answer, but Legolas spoke first.

“I’m afraid the Captain will be busy,” he said with deliberate arrogance, not knowing whether I was busy or not.

By now, I knew that Túron must have sensed the tension, and that he had to have known something existed between me and Legolas. This was not how I wanted things to go, but it was too late now. “Actually, Haldir has called for a meeting later.”

“He has?” Legolas said, surprised.

“Yes, a message came early this morning before you … uh, before you … arrived … to be escorted … back to camp.” Damn it. I was never good at these kinds of spur of the moment situations.

Túron’s eyes narrowed as he looked from me to Legolas, sizing things up. “You know, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I can’t help mention that I find it a bit curious that you’ve chosen to stay within the city instead of with the rest of your company.”

Legolas gently moved me to the side, and stepped up to Túron. “And the way I see things, it really is none of your business. Now, if you’ll excuse us . . .” Ai, this was bad.

“Is everything alright, Rúmil?” Túron asked, ignoring Legolas.

I forced a smile. “Yes, it’s–”

“Everything is fine,” Legolas interrupted.

“You’ll excuse me if I seem concerned,” Túron said, addressing Legolas. “But Rúmil is a friend, and I–”

“Oh yes, a friend. So I’ve heard. Well, let me just put this out there so there is no confusion. Rúmil and I are much more than friends, and it was at his home where I spend the evening.”

I didn’t know what had gotten into Legolas, behaving with such jealously and possession. “That was unnecessary,” I scowled.

“What? I put it as nice as possible. I could have told him that we fucked through half the night, but I didn’t think that was appropriate.”

“Legolas!” I scolded.

“Only half the night?” Túron responded quickly and with conceit.

“Alright!” I interjected. “That will be enough. Legolas, will you give me a moment with Túron … alone … please.” When he didn’t answer, I asked again pleadingly. “Please?”

“Don’t be long,” he finally said. He glared at Túron, and I could tell he’d been wanting a confrontation ever since he found out that Túron was back in Lórien. Finally, he was on his way, but not before touching my shoulder acquisitively.

When he was out of earshot, Túron spoke. “Rúmil, what are you doing with him?”

“Why do you feel it is your duty to come to my aid?” I replied with my own question. “I need no rescuing from him.”

“Did you not notice how he was trying to seduce you?”

“What?” I almost shouted.

“I am just trying to save you from the scheming mind of this Wood elf. They are tricky in that way, praying on those suffering from longing and loneliness,” Túron went on to say.

I shook my head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s from Mirkwood. That much I can see. And their kind is strange even to other elves. They are barbaric. They’re a heathen race, wild and dangerous.” He paused and leaned into my ear. “Sexual deviants, too.” Túron stood straight again and glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was around to hear. “It is obvious that you have been in a somber mood lately. I think this Wood elf detects that about you, and he’s playing on your forlornness. And what about your new love? I know you cannot be together right now, but seeking satisfaction from someone like this … well … surely you can see what a mistake it is.”

I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know how to respond to him. I just stood there looking completely dumbfounded, which is why I could see the realization begin to form on Túron’s face, not to mention the multiple shades of scarlet. “Oh … I’m … well, this is … awkward. That’s him, isn’t it? That’s the one you told me about.”

I nodded in agreement. He looked backwards again. I thought he was about to apologize, but instead he chose to continue to try and convince me that I’d made a poor choice. “He’s from Mirkwood,” he whispered with a bit of disgust.

“Of course,” I answered.

“Well, when you said you met someone, I thought he was from Rivendell or … somewhere … I don’t know. But Mirkwood? That is the last place I would have thought he’d be from. You once told me you despised that simple race of elves for their uneducated backwards way of thinking.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “What can I say? I was wrong. My stay in Mirkwood helped me to see many misconceptions I had about them.”

“But he’s a Wood elf,” Túron said again, as though he meant to convince himself. “So this is who you’ve given your heart to? Some … some heathen with no manners?”

“That heathen just happens to be the Prince of Mirkwood, if you must know.” I was becoming tired of this interrogation. “And I am deeply in love with him, so I’ll ask that you watch what you say.”

“I apologize, Rúmil. I meant no disrespect, but at the same time, and I say this as a true friend, I’m leery of him. He seems rash, and his choice of words is offensive.”

“You should have seen him when we first met in Mirkwood,” I said more to myself than to Túron. “I would ask that you not mention this to anyone … at all,” I said.

“No, I would never, but … well, just watch yourself around him. You are lucky it was me who happened upon the two of you. If it had been Raenor … I don’t need to finish that sentence,” he warned.

I laughed. “Oh, come now. We were only walking together.”

“Rúmil,” he corrected. “You had your hands on his chest, smiling into his eyes. Just be careful. I have to go.”

We bid each other a temporary farewell, and I went up the path to try and find Legolas. I thought about what Túron said. I had no idea I was touching Legolas as we walked and laughed. As I said before, it was much too easy to fall back into the ways of the Wood elves, where I had nothing to hide from anyone. I realized that having Legolas in Lothlórien would take some concentration, which I had very little of when he was around.

* * * * *

Officially meeting the rest of the company Legolas traveled with was quite pleasurable. He behaved much in the same manner as he was in Mirkwood around these people. He didn’t pretend to be something he was not, and that included numerous salacious smiles towards me as the others were telling stories of their adventures. No one seemed to care either. Aragorn, who had caught Legolas reaching for my hand, smiled briefly and turned his head, as if to give us privacy. The Hobbits were more wrapped up in storytelling than watching our behavior, but I did see Frodo give Legolas a quick wink at one point. I wondered if Legolas had told them about us. He hadn’t mentioned it.

The other man, Boromir, still seemed very distant and a bit disturbed by something, though it was not Legolas and me. His mind was elsewhere, as though he was plotting. I still did not trust him, and when I confronted Legolas about it later on, he said he experienced the same skepticism about the Gondorian. It was the reason that Legolas always traveled at the end of the line, so as to keep a wary eye on him without being obvious.

Gimli, the dwarf, was the only one of the group that seemed to outwardly show his disgust. Whenever he saw Legolas and I sitting close or Legolas’ hand upon my knee or arm, he made a grunt and turned away, muttering something unintelligible. I was getting a bit annoyed by this, but I ignored it as best I could. And when it was Gimli’s turn to tell tales of their adventures, I listened with an attentive ear.

Eventually, it was Legolas’ turn to add to the story. He stood and looked around at the group. “Well, since I am last to go, and since almost all of you were there for our adventures, I will tell you about the time that Rúmil and I fought off an army of orcs in Mirkwood.”

Immediately, they had questions, especially the Hobbits. They were very inquisitive creatures, to say the least. They wanted to know about the spiders, and the Elven King. They wanted to know about the underground palace and if I had seen the King’s collection of jewels. I was surprised because they had been with Legolas all this time. “Surely he has told you about all this and more,” I said.

“Legolas is quite terse a lot of the time,” complained the Hobbit called Pippin. “I asked him to describe the nasty spiders that dwell in his forest, and he only said that they were big.”

I laughed to myself and glanced at Legolas. He shrugged his shoulders. “Are they not big, Rúmil?” he asked.

“They are very big, but they are also hairy and ugly with multiple eyes on their head. And they make hissing and clicking sounds as they communicate with each other,” I explained.

“They sound disgusting, and I hope to never meet one,” said Sam, another of the Hobbits.

“Well, unless you plan on going to Mirkwood, I doubt you ever will,” I said.

“Are they difficult to kill?” Frodo asked.

“They can be quite tricky. As big as they are, they move with quiet stealth, and if you aren’t looking in all directions, especially up, they could sneak up on you. They do have a vulnerable spot, just under their belly, but it is not a place you want to be, because they have a wicked spike at their end. If they stick you with it, chances are you’ll not live to see tomorrow.” Sam listened carefully as I spoke, absorbing every bit of information in case it might be useful one day.

I was surprised that once I got started telling stories, I couldn’t stop. I told them about the first Wood elves that I met, Corweth and Messel. “Identical, they were, but after I got to know them better, it was easy to tell them apart. They braided their hair differently.” Then, I told them about meeting the King, though I exaggerated a bit, making him sound much stingier than he was when it came to his treasures. Legolas watched me, with one brow cocked, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“So what happened with the orc army?” asked the Hobbit, Merry.

Legolas took over the story to give me a break from speaking. It was a good thing, too. My throat was parched. Aragorn offered me his canteen and I accepted it most graciously. As I drank, I heard Legolas explain to the others how I was determined to navigate the trees in my armor, but when he started to mimic me stumbling around the campsite, I barged into the middle of his story. “Watch your tongue. It was not that difficult to convince me to leave my armor behind.”

“Alright, so you adapted quickly, but we had to go back for your things, remember?” Legolas said. “He wouldn’t leave his precious Lórien armor behind,” he continued.

I listened to him tell the story, but my mind drifted to the parts Legolas did not speak of because they were private moments between us. We did indeed go back for my armor, but we made a detour to the ruins, the place where court was held in Mirkwood in the days of King Oropher’s rule. It was there that I gave Legolas my name for him, iaun nín. It wasn’t long after that I first told him I loved him. It seemed like ages ago but my love for him was still just as strong as that day. It made me wonder what was in store for our future. Could we ever truly be together, or would we always be distant lovers who met in between our duties? I didn’t want to think about it now. I had him back, at least for a short while. They couldn’t stay in Lothlórien forever. I would enjoy this time with Legolas, as much as I could, for when the fellowship was on their way once more, there was no telling how long it would be before we were together again.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

The next few weeks in Lothlórien were interesting to say the least. Many of the elves were uncomfortable with the strangers, and we didn’t normally behave in such a way. True, we weren’t used to having Men, Dwarves and Hobbits visiting, but we were usually a very accepting community. Instead, my people seemed distrusting of them. No one was rude, but they didn’t go out of their way to be overly polite either. I noticed when the travelers passed by an elf or a group of elves, everyone would bow their heads in recognition of each other, but once the strangers had gone by, the elves glanced over their shoulders in suspicion. And I had to admit, I too felt this underlying current of distrust when I first came upon them, but now that I knew their backstory, I was confident that they were all very trustworthy people. The one thing that did bother me was the fact that they carried something that belonged to the enemy. Legolas told me about it, but he was never specific as to what that weapon was.

Other than that, things were quite well. Legolas either spent his time with the company or with me. He was very good at being discrete, but I could tell it was wearing on his nerves. He wasn’t used to hiding his feelings, or containing his actions and reactions. When we were alone, he could finally be himself, and released all that pent up energy and desire. I definitely was not complaining.

We were very careful where we met, and I usually spent my evenings at Legolas’ guest quarters where we knew we would not be interrupted. Legolas didn’t have any visitors, where as I might be visited by Captains, soldiers, messengers or my own brothers. Not every moment was spent in unremitting wonder. I still had work to do, though Legolas tagged alone on occasion. He actually laughed at our military system, calling it stiff and priggish. Mirkwood was the complete opposite. Soldiers were called to fight, and they fought. Reports were, more or less, eye witness accounts. And when it was time to do battle, everyone participated. It worked for them, but Mirkwood was not Lothlórien. We thrived on order and procedure, and I still had to do my part, even though I wished I could have spent every moment with Legolas until it was time for him to leave.

One thing we enjoyed immensely was target practice. We liked trying to outdo each other, and unfortunately, Legolas won a lot of the time. Still, our contests would bring a crowd of elves, mostly the younger ones, who liked to watch us battle for best archer. On this one particular day, Legolas and I were neck and neck. We had matched each other’s shots perfectly. One slight bit off aim, and the game would be over. A group of young elves began making bets with each other as to who would be the victor, me or Legolas.

“We’ve attracted quite an audience here today,” Legolas commented. “Who do you think they’re here to see, me or you?”

“You, obviously,” I answered.

“And why is that? Because of my extraordinary skill with a bow?” he jested.

“Oh, you are good. I’ll give you that, but I believe they are curious about seeing a Wood elf … you know … dark, dangerous and unpredictable,” I laughed. “But, of course, once I’ve bested you, they’ll see that you are no threat to the talents of Lothlórien’s best archer.”

He cocked an eyebrow and smiled from the corner of his mouth. “Self-proclaimed best archer, is it?”

I narrowed my eyes in his direction. “Why you–”

Legolas turned to the crowd of young elf men, and spoke to them. “So, you have been watching us for a while. Shall we see who the better archer is?” The crowd cheered with enthusiasm, and Legolas spun around to face me. “I believe we have a serious contest here.”

I laughed and nodded in agreement. “Alright, I’ll take that challenge. Who do you think will win?” I called to the elves. I held my hand over Legolas’ head, and a few cheered. Then I held my hand over my own head and the whole group of elves whooped and hollered. Legolas laughed and bowed to me, accepting the fact that I was the favorite. When he stood straight again, his eyes danced with the excitement of a challenge. It wasn’t the first time we had competed against each other, but I’d be damned if I was going to lose on my own territory.

We started out hitting targets, every arrow striking center. Then we began using tricks, shooting two arrows at a time, and firing at the moving targets being controlled on pulley systems by some of the young elves. We were running, jumping, firing at different targets, and seeing who came closer. We shot several arrows rapidly to see who was quicker and closer to center. I could feel the excitement all around, between us and our onlookers. And I started to realize that these young elf men were seeing Legolas much differently than some of the other elves of Lórien. They weren’t concerned about his race or where he came from. None of that mattered. They were impressed with his talent, and perhaps they were even learning a thing or two from him. I thought of the older residents that observed Legolas with conjecture, not because they knew him, but because of what they had been taught about other elven races. And I wondered why that was acceptable. The future lay with these youth. They would be the ones to tear down the skepticism. They were the ones who would realize that no matter where we were from or what traditions we practiced, we were all elves fighting for the same cause. Their impression of Legolas was not fear, but curiousness. These were the elves that would remember this day, and tell their own sons and daughters that Wood elves were no different from us. But, of course, there would always be those whose minds could never be changed. They would remember the myths and hold on to their prejudices. Those were not the elves who we needed to convince. It was the younger generation, the ones easily influenced, and that’s what was happening before me in that moment.

We finished showing off, and it was deemed that there was no clear winner. The group of elves ran out onto the practice field, surrounding us, cheering and grasped our arms, raising them in the air. Legolas and I laughed and smiled, stealing glances at one another, proud of what we had accomplished, and without knowing it at first.

“Can you teach us how to do that?” Someone called out of the crowd to Legolas. And then they shouted different requests, can you do this or can you do that. What about . . .? They went on.

“Can you shoot an arrow into a target and fire a second, splitting the first in two?” another bystander asked from the sea of voices.

“Oh, I like that one,” Legolas responded, though he didn’t know who asked. He broke free of the crowd and walked over to the targets again. He held two arrows in his firing hand and prepared to shoot. Legolas was in his element, and I took joy in watching him show off. He aimed and fired the first arrow, but as he nocked the second, someone else took the shot, splitting Legolas’ arrow in half. Immediately, he turned to me, but I shrugged my shoulders, and showed him that my quiver was empty. We both looked around the crowd when my eyes settled on Raenor. He was standing there with his bow still raised, and slowly lowered it. The crowd hushed, and Legolas went to the new observer.

“That was a fine shot,” Legolas said to him.

“Difficult, but not impossible,” Raenor responded. Then he introduced himself, and Legolas gave me a brief glance before turning his full attention on him.

“Raenor is it? I have heard a thing or two about you,” Legolas said.

“As well as I have heard about you.” Raenor turned towards me. “Strange company you keep yet again, Captain.” Raenor’s eyes darted from Legolas, back to me, questioning and suspicious.

“Legolas and I worked together while I was in Mirkwood, and he is my guest for however long he stays in Lothlórien,” I said defensively.

“Of course he is,” Raenor mumbled. He smiled arrogantly. “I do hope that the Elven King’s son is finding everything to his liking.”

Some of the elves standing close by heard Raenor’s reference and gasped. “You are Prince Legolas, son of King Thranduil?” they asked.

“I am, though I prefer not to be addressed as such,” Legolas answered. I could tell he was wary of Raenor, and he had every right to be. Legolas was very careful not to give him anything that might harm me or my reputation.

Raenor looked around the practice field. “I see you and Captain Rúmil have been having a contest. Room for one more?” he asked.

“Rúmil and I have just finished up for the day. Perhaps tomorrow we might–”

“Of course,” Raenor interrupted. “Wouldn’t want to tarnish your winning edge.” He turned to the group of bystanders. “Has Prince Legolas amazed you all, held you in awe with his incredible talents?”

The crowd agreed in unison that Legolas was the best they’d ever seen. Raenor let them go on for a few moments, and then he spoke again. “Simply tricks that anyone can learn if they have enough time on their hands like the Prince must surely have. But any of these techniques will do you no good in battle, just remember that.”

“An elf should know every technique available, for you never know what situation you might find yourself in. And yes, I have used some of these moves that you’ve seen here today while fighting the enemy. They are not tricks, as you have called them,” Legolas corrected. I was surprised at how placid his tone was towards someone who basically insulted him. “How about we do this. I’ll perform another … trick … with your assistance, and then I’ll explain how it can be used in battle.”

The surrounding elves were excited to see something new, and Raenor was not one to back down from a challenge. “Very well,” he agreed.

“Alright then, I’m going to stand over there, and I want you to shoot directly at me,” Legolas told him.

“I don’t see how this is a trick,” Raenor scoffed.

“It’s not,” Legolas said in return, his tone lowering to something dark. He walked across the way. I stayed where I was. Once Legolas was in place, he gave further instructions. “Now, I want you to fire repeatedly, as any orc would do, and aim directly at me.”

Raenor seemed fine with this, but I didn’t find it entertaining. “Are you actually going to do this?” I complained. “You are going to shoot arrows at the Prince of Mirkwood?”

Raenor grabbed a handful of arrows and nocked the first one. “Only because he told me to. If he gets injured, it will be his own fault.” Raenor glanced back at me from the corner of his eye. “Don’t worry, Captain, I won’t stick him anywhere … life threatening.”

“You are both insane,” I chided.

Without any warning, Raenor started losing arrows at Legolas, but to my surprise, Legolas was firing back, actually knocking Raenor’s arrows out of the air with his own. I knew it took great skill to split an embedded arrow in two, but to actually hit another arrow while it was in flight was … unbelievable. I couldn’t take my eyes from the sky. Everyone around me was silent too. We were all in shock by what we were witnessing. And then, they stopped. I looked to Raenor, and he had his last arrow in position, ready to fire. Then I looked at Legolas and saw that he had no more arrows.

“That is all fine and well, Prince Legolas,” Raenor called across the field. “But it really comes down to who has the most arrows, doesn’t it?”

“It is not over until you’ve fired your last and made it count.” Legolas looked to his left and gestured to a target. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll make it very easy for you. Just hit this target, and you’ll be the victor in this contest.”

Raenor blew out a short breath like a sadistic laugh. As far as he was concerned, he’d won, but if Legolas needed to see him hit the target, so be it. He pulled his arm back, fingers hooked on the string, and fired without taking any time to line up his shot. Like me, Raenor had been hitting targets since he was an elflings.

Suddenly, Legolas reached out with his hand and snatched the arrow from the air just before it embedded into the target. With lightning speed, he used the same arrow, and fired it back at Raenor. There were no targets where we stood, but there were trees, and that’s where the arrow ended up, after it barely passed by Raenor. It came so close, I watched as a few strands of his hair hung in the air and then floated to the ground.

“As I said,” Legolas gloated. “It’s not over until the last arrow is spent and put to good use.”

I could see that Raenor was furious. He glared at Legolas, as he made his way towards us. The crowd around me murmured in awe of Legolas’ talent, which only fueled Raenor’s rage.

“What are you all standing around here for,” Raenor yelled at the elves. “You’ve got practice or studies to attend. Off with you all, or I’ll report you.” The crowd scattered, leaving me, Legolas and Raenor on the field. Raenor gave Legolas a slit-eyed stare. “You would be smart to stay out of my way as long as you are in Lothlórien … Wood elf.”

“I have no issue with you, Raenor. I doubt we shall ever meet again. But I do not like bullies, and from what I have seen, you are one. It might be none of my business what happens around here, but threaten me and I’ll be your new concern.”

“I believe it is you who has initialized a threat, and against an officer of the Lothlórien army,” Raenor challenged.

Legolas took a step towards Raenor, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “We should be on our way. Forget about this, Legolas. It is not worth your breath.”

Legolas and Raenor glared at each other another moment. “Let’s go,” I demanded, breaking their slit eyed challenge. As we walked away, Legolas glanced behind him a couple times to see if Raenor was still watching him or not. I didn’t look back, though. I didn’t need the added tension from Raenor. When we were far enough away I stopped walking, and Legolas looked at me curiously.

“Have you any idea who he is?” I said angrily.

“He’s the son of an orc’s arse. I know that much.”

“He is one of the March wardens, who, by the way, you threatened … and … shot an arrow at. What were you thinking?”

Legolas looked behind us, but we were alone for now. “I don’t care who he is. No one bullies me or threatens me and doesn’t feel my repercussions.”

“Yes, and then you’ll leave Lothlórien and I’ll have to deal with his backlash.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Raenor is the one who tried to expose my secret, who almost succeeded in doing so, if it weren’t for Túron. You cannot confront someone like that and not expect him to react. I’ve spent a long time mending my reputation, and it’s been long enough that no one cares about everything that happened, but all it takes is one small piece of tinder and Raenor will be fanning the flames into an inferno of suspicion against me.” I was so angry I was seeing red, and stormed off towards my home. Let Legolas find his own way around the city. Someone else could help him.

“Rúmil, wait!” he called out to me. I heard him run up behind me, but I didn’t stop or turn towards him. I kept determinedly on my path. “Rúmil,” he called again. This time I stopped and spun on my heel.

“No,” I said, unable to think of anything else. He was looking at me with sympathetic eyes, wanting to apologize, but I wouldn’t let him. “You forget that things do not work the same way here as they do in Mirkwood. It’s not a game. For someone in my position to be accused of … unacceptable behavior, well, it is something that I cannot afford.” I turned my back and started walking off again.

“Where are you going?” he called.

“Home,” I answered tersely.

“I’ll come with you. Let me apologize. Let me make it up to you,” he pleaded.

“I think it’s better that you stayed in your guest quarters or with your company. You’ve raised too many flags as it is. Goodnight.” That was all I had to say to him, and I went home, lit a fire and made some tea.

Half the night was gone, and I laid in my bed, eyes wide open, thinking about the exchange at the practice field. It should never have happened, but it was Raenor who provoked Legolas into behaving as he did. And Legolas, as outspoken as he was, didn’t help matters much. I was sure it started out as a challenge. Raenor’s opinion of Legolas, and any Wood elf for that matter, would not differ much from other Lórien elves. But my actions in defense of Legolas probably sparked new suspicions. I guess I had myself to be mad at, besides Legolas. He was only defending himself and standing up for his kind. Wouldn’t I do the same thing if it was me? I should have been more sympathetic towards Legolas, instead of berating him and turning him away. I realized, though, that I’d done this before. When things felt like they were getting out of hand, or that my secret was about to be revealed, I suddenly turned against those I cared for in order to protect myself.

“It’s dangerous having Legolas here, and as much as I like being with him again, I can’t help feeling paranoid. Ai, things were so much easier in Mirkwood,” I whispered to myself in the dim candle lit room.

At that exact moment, there came a light tapping on my front door. I got up, threw on my robe and went to the door, cracking it open just a bit. Legolas stood outside, looking just as sleep deprived as myself.

“What are you doing here? I thought I told you to–”

“I know, but I needed to see you. Can I come in?”

“That might not be a wise thing right now,” I said to try and turn him away.

“I checked and rechecked the area. No one is around. The walkways are empty, and I do not think I was followed by anyone,” he explained.

“You’ll have to wait until morning, and we’ll discuss it then.” I tried to close the door, but his foot was wedged in the way.

“Please, Rúmil. I feel horrible about earlier, and I just need to speak with you. I can’t stand having you mad at me,” he begged.

I sighed loudly. “I suppose I have no choice. Stay outside my door, and you’re bound to draw someone’s attention. Fine. Come in.” I stepped out of the way and opened the door. Legolas came in and stood still, waiting to see what I would say or do. Before closing the door, I looked around, but I didn’t see any movement. It seemed Legolas was right about it being deserted. As soon as the door closed, Legolas came up from behind, his arms snaking around my waist, pulling me against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my neck. “I wasn’t thinking earlier. When Raenor challenged me, I didn’t take anything into consideration besides wanting to defeat him, and make him look like a fool. If I had known who he was, maybe I wouldn’t have been so aggressive towards him. If I’ve done anything to bring harm or suspicion against you–”

“It’s alright, Legolas. I think Raenor was too distracted by the fact that you outplayed him at his own game to give any consideration to anything else. I should have made it clear right away who he was. Besides, you were only standing up for yourself.”

“But I should have thought about you first, and I didn’t. I’m just not used to having to rein in my emotions or actions. The last thing I want is to cause any uncertainty between you and Raenor,” he continued, seeming quite disturbed by everything.

I turned in his arms, and searched his eyes. “And I’m not used to being so madly in love that I’m almost willing to toss it all away.”

“You don’t mean that, of course,” he said, laughing it off.

“There is a part of me that wants to scream at the top of my lungs, and tell everyone that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I couldn’t let you do that, but I could let you quietly whisper it into my ear,” he teased. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

I ran my tongue along the edge of his ear. “You are definitely the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Legolas.”

“Prove it,” he responded, watching me with feral blue eyes.

I untied the sash at my waist and let the robe fall open, exposing my nakedness beneath. I backed away, inching my finger to make him follow, and led him to my bedroom. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll prove it all night if I have to,” I said, smiling deviously, and we disappeared into my bedroom. It didn’t take long, and we were a tangle of legs and sheets, making love long into the night, or what was left of it.

* * * * *

I woke up the next morning, the day already underway, with Legolas’ leg draped across mine, and his arm laying over my chest. I played with a strand of his gilded hair and waited for him to wake up, but he was still lost to his slumber. I took the end of his hair, and tickled his nose with it. He batted at the air with his hand, and made a face. “What are you doing?” he asked groggily.

“I have to get up, and so do you.” I pushed his arm from my chest and he rolled over.

Legolas stretched like a luxurious cat. “I don’t want to get up,” he complained.

“I’m already taking a risk by allowing you to stay here,” I said as I went to my wardrobe and retrieved an outfit.

“It’s not as though someone will barge in on us,” he said. “I saw the lock on your door.”

I suddenly thought about that, and panic must have shown on my face. Legolas sat up and looked at me, seeing my worry. “You did lock your front door, didn’t you?” he asked.

“I … think I … did,” I stammered, trying to remember if I did or not.

That’s when I heard footsteps in the front room. Someone had come into my home looking for me. It wasn’t unusual. I left my door open most of the time, usually so Haldir or Orophin could come in, but occasionally there was a messenger who needed my immediate attention.

“Oh shit,” I cursed. “Someone’s here.”

“You didn’t lock your door?” Legolas said accusingly. “Well, who is it?”

“Rúmil, you still in bed?” came a voice from my living room.

I could hope for all hope that it was Haldir, but I knew better, and I knew my own brother’s voice. It was Orophin, and I said as much. “I’m up, but I’m not decent,” I called back, waving my hands at Legolas to get up and dressed.

“Little brother, I used to change your diaper cloths,” Orophin said cheerily from the other side of my bedroom door. “It’s nothing I’ve never seen before.”

I flew to the door, wearing only my leggings, for I hadn’t time to completely dress. Legolas was still in my bed, scrambling to untangle from the sheets. Before I could reach for the handle, it opened and Orophin came in with a smile on his face. His eyes were upon me at first, but then they swept over the room, coming to rest at the bed and its occupant. The smile faded to shock at his discovery. Legolas was sitting on the edge of my bed, the sheet draped across his lap to protect his decency and nothing more.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded sharply to bring his attention back to me.

“I was told that you wished to speak with me,” Orophin said, eyes glued to Legolas.

“I sent no message. Who told you this?”

“It … it was … Rae-Raenor,” he said incoherently. “He … said it was … urgent … and that I . . . What the fuck is going on here?”

I pushed my brother through the bedroom door and closed it behind me. He was still looking over my shoulder, trying to see. “I can explain,” I said.

“Was … was that Prince Legolas?”

“Uh … just Legolas … he … doesn’t like titles,” I said stupidly.

“Tell me what I saw was not what I saw, Rúmil. Why is the Prince of Mirkwood in your bed … naked?”

“I … uh, I … let him sleep here last night. It was late and I was … too tired to … escort him … back … to . . .” I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t lie. I had lied long enough. “Alright, yes, the Prince of Mirkwood is naked in my bed, and whatever you’re probably thinking right now is the truth.”

Orophin couldn’t look any more shocked than he did right then. “So you … and he … together?”

“Yes,” I said straight and to the point.

“But you are a Ca-Captain in the army,” he stammered.

“Yes, and I’m damn good at what I do. The fact that I enjoy male company makes me no less a warrior,” I defended.

His shock turned to concern and anger as he glanced at my closed bedroom door, as though he could see Legolas through the wood. “What did he do to you, Rúmil? Did he drug you? Poison you? Is this some kind of trickery like before?”

“You mean the incident with Túron? No, this is not a repeat of that time. Legolas and I are together because we want to be, and I … I–” Oh, how could I make him understand. Well, there was no use covering anything up anymore. “And I love him.”

Orophin stood before me, drop jawed and a blank stare. He blinked once, and then twice as if to clear his mind. “Alright, I’m going to leave and come back in because obviously I’m having a hallucination or something. This cannot be real.”

“It is real. This is me. This is how I’ve been my whole life,” I admitted.

“But it can’t be,” he said in disbelief.

“Just give me one moment to put my shirt on, and we’ll talk about this,” I said, reaching for the door handle to my bedroom.

Orophin backed away, as though there was a dangerous creature behind it. “No … no, I can’t stay. I—I have to go.

“Orophin, please–”

“I need to go. I … I can’t.” And with that, my shocked brother flew from my home. I had no idea where he was going, but I was sure he wasn’t going to report me. If anything, he would go to Haldir first, and then he would know that Haldir had known all along. I didn’t think that was a very good outcome either, but what could I do? I slowly opened my bedroom door, and found Legolas dressed and putting on his boots. He stopped and looked up when he heard me come in, and then finished with his shoes.

“I take it he doesn’t know about us,” Legolas commented.

“Orophin doesn’t know about me, let alone us,” I said, staring into the distance. I was still trying to comprehend what had just transpired.

“You’ve never told you brother?” he asked amazed.

“Not Orophin. Haldir, of course knows, but not Oro.” I rushed to the wardrobe and threw on the first shirt my hand touched. Then I hurriedly put my boots on. “I have to go. I need to speak to him.”

“Shall I come with you? Or–”

“I need you to leave,” I said rather sternly.

“Alright, but should we meet later to–”

“No. I need you to go back to your quarters or to your company or anywhere, but we need to put some distance between us.”

“What are you saying, Rúmil? Do you not wished to be seen with me?” The tone in his voice was one of hurt. I couldn’t deal with that right now.”

“Did you not see what just happened here? My brother has walked in on us. Now I must find him, and try to straighten things out before he decides to do something rash,” I chided.

“Oh, I see. That’s how things must work around here. You have no problem as long as everything seems legitimate, but as soon as suspicion strikes or fear falls upon you, you’ll abandon the one you love. Is that it?” he said angrily.

I spun around to perceive him with my eyes narrowed to slits. “This is more than suspicion. My brother just found you, naked, sitting on my bed.”

“And?” he challenged.

“And everything I’ve ever worked for is in jeopardy.”

Legolas shook his head in disgust. “Everything you’ve ever worked for has been achieved through lies and falsities.”

“How dare you!” I seethed.

“Do you think I’m not speaking the truth? Look at you. This is not who you are. As a matter of fact, I have no clue who this elf is before me, for he is not the one I met in Mirkwood, and he is certainly not the one I fell in love with. You live in the shadows. You say you do it because you are a soldier and nothing is more important to you. Well,” he said with a scowl. “I can see just how significant it is to you, so much so that you would live your life for everyone else, and not for yourself. I thought you were stronger than this. I thought that perhaps you learned something in Mirkwood, and that you might have implemented that into your life here in Lothlórien, but this is truly who you are. I should be angry, but I find myself pitying your situation too much.”

“What am I supposed to do? You think you have all the answers, but you’ve never been in my position before, and until you have been, you’ve no right to tell me who I am or am not,” I said furiously.

“I have been in your place. I’ve lived years beneath my father’s jeweled hand, always holding me down, chained to his side. But I painfully broke free of his constraints. I didn’t want to, and it took everything within me to do it. It broke my heart to defy my father, but I made my choice because I knew the day would come when I had to live for myself and not others. And you know what? I’m still here. I’m still surviving. And I am better and stronger for what I have done. You will never know what it is like to be who you really are as long as you let yourself be bound to this life. You are being strangled here. They only respect you as long as you filter your true self and show them what they want to see.”

“You cannot compare our circumstances. You are not risking your family by choosing to break away from your father. In my case, I have my brothers to think of. Anything bad put on me will reflect onto them, and we are all put in harm’s way.”

“Then leave and go somewhere where you’ll be accepted. Come to Mirkwood. There are no restrictions. You saw that for yourself,” he said with hope. “The way I see it, by staying here and restraining yourself, by hiding and sneaking around, you are always putting your brothers in harm’s way. What would happen if you just decided to leave Lothlórien? There might be some talk, but eventually it would die down, and your brothers’ careers would not be in jeopardy.”

“I cannot walk away from my home or my family,” I said. “And I don’t think Mirkwood would be a good place for me. Your father already hates me. I couldn’t live under his ever-watchful eye. It would be no better than living here.”

“So you would never consider leaving Lothlórien?” he asked.

“I couldn’t.” I shook my head in defiance.

“Not even if it meant having a life with me?”

That was it, wasn’t’ it. As long as I as lived in Lothlórien, Legolas and I could never have what we wished for. He would never come here, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave and go to Mirkwood. Had we been fooling ourselves all this time? Did we really think this would ever work out for us? I found that I could not look at him, but I answered by shaking my head slowly from side to side.

“I see,” he said after a moment of silence. “Well then, I should be on my way. I’m sure my company has wondered what has become of my presence.” He walked past me towards the door.

“Legolas–” I started, but he stopped me.

“When you decide not to hide from yourself, to once again embrace the elf I fell in love with, come to me. Until then, you have a mess to clean up here, and I will not make things any more difficult than they already are,” he said solemnly. That was the last time Legolas and I met in private.

* * * * *

I left my home, abandoning Legolas in my living room. He would find his way back to his company. I would find my brother, and try to set this disaster straight. With Legolas’ words still ringing in my head, I couldn’t concentrate on what I was going to say to Orophin. Deep in my heart, I knew he was right. It had always been this way. I was always the one conforming to everyone else’s set of rules. But it wasn’t as easy as leaving Lothlórien, as Legolas would make it seem. Maybe he could leave Mirkwood and his father for independence, but I couldn’t leave my home or my brothers just to be with him. I couldn’t be that selfish. Others depended on me, as family, as a Captain, as a member of Lothlórien society. Those things were important to me.

But wasn’t Legolas just as important? Here was the one person who understood me, and I was prepared to let him go. And for the life of me, I couldn’t see myself begging him to stay or to just be with me as I was, as my life would let us be.

I’d walked all the way to Orophin’s home, and hadn’t spent a single moment trying to think of what to say to him. Things would just have to happen on their own, and I would go into this conversation blind. I was always prepared with a way to deal with these situations, but never had I had to defend myself with my own brother. Haldir, once my secret was made known to him, was accepting because he knew what it was like. Orophin was on the other side of this matter. He was an officer, strict and law abiding. How many times did he have to confront members of his own troops, whether his finding were legitimate or not. But now he would have to weigh the options with his own brother, and I didn’t know how he would react. There was only one way to find out.

I knocked lightly on his door, partially hoping he wouldn’t be home, but the door opened slowly. To my surprise and regret, it was Haldir. So, just as I figured, Orophin called upon our oldest brother first, probably to seek advice as to how to deal with all of this. Had Haldir told him anything yet?

Haldir held the door open for me, but he didn’t say a word. I slogged into Orophin’s living room and looked around, but I didn’t see him.

“He’s in the kitchen,” Haldir informed.

“How is he?” I asked.

“Just as you think he’d be, angry, confused, shocked.”

“What have you told him so far?” I wondered.

“Well, he knows that I know. I could not keep that from him. He asked how long I’ve known.”

“And what did you tell him?” When I finally opened up to Haldir, he confessed that he’d known all along, or at least he suspected it, especially when I was younger.

“I was not specific,” Haldir said. He glanced towards the kitchen, and then bent his head to whisper to me. “I think I should confess my own secret to him.”

“What? Are you mad? You cannot do that,” I said in a raised whisper.

“I don’t know where he is in his mind about all of this, but if he feels severe actions must be taken, I cannot let you face judgment and keep my own life a secret. I just can’t. It would weigh too heavily upon my heart,” Haldir said sympathetically.

“I appreciate that, Haldir, really I do, but I won’t let you ruin your career. And besides, if things get so far that I am persecuted, you’ll be condemned as well, if only by association.” I shook my head and grasped his forearm. “Let me speak with him first before you start making hasty actions.”

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders before going into the kitchen. I slipped in through the door, and Orophin glanced up to see who had come in. Instantly, his eyes lowered back to the cup of tea set in front of him. “Brother,” I said quietly.

“So, I’m the last to know,” Orophin said.

“Haldir only suspected for years before he confronted me. I am the one who told him to remain silent about it.”

“Do you distrust me so much that you cannot tell me?” he asked accusingly.

“I just thought it would be easier. I never meant for Haldir to find out either, but it was accidental. Look, Orophin, I never wanted either of you to know, just in case something or someone tried to use my secret against me. I know the rules, and I know that if anyone found out, I could have been asked to leave the army. It was a risk I was willing to take. To think of you and Haldir fighting to keep Lothlórien safe, and not be allowed to participate … I could not do it. I love being a warrior. I am good at being a soldier. What I choose to do in my private time has nothing to do with that.”

Orophin slid his teacup across the table, stretching his arms out, hands folded, and hunched over. “So, when all that turmoil was happening with the young soldier in your office, was it … was it true?”

I had a feeling he was going to bring that up, and it might look that way now that Orophin knew my secret. I shook my head side to side before I spoke. “It was not. I would never become involved with any soldier. I was set up by … someone from my past, as well as Raenor. I believe it was all Raenor’s doing. He promised things to this other elf, convinced him to go along with his plan. Raenor’s only goal was to use me, to expose me to get to Haldir, and to ruin our family name.”

“And now you are involved with a Wood elf, and the Prince of Mirkwood, no less. So tell me, because I don’t seem to understand. How is that keeping undetectable?”

“I had no inclination that Legolas would ever come to Lothlórien.”

“And yet, here he is,” he said with a touch of bitterness.

“I’m sorry, Oro. I never meant for you to find out like this,” I apologized.

“Apparently you never meant for me to find out at all, yet Haldir knows, and he’s probably helped you carry out your deception all these years.”

That’s when Haldir came into the kitchen, brow knitted in anger. He’d been listening to our conversation. “I was not helping him to deceive anyone. Rúmil is telling the truth when he says he never involved himself with a fellow soldier.”

“And you,” Orophin said, turning on Haldir. “You are a March warden. You of all people should know better than to let this happen. Why did you not dissuade him from choosing a soldier’s life instead of keeping his secret while you punish others for breaking the same rules that you let Rúmil escape?”

Haldir closed the distance between him and Orophin as Oro stood from the table. “I probably know better than either of you what it means to choose the army and have to make sacrifices.”

“That is no excuse. Your seniority means you should have known better and prevented it,” Orophin shot back.

“If I had stopped Rúmil from choosing a soldiering career, then I would have had to stop myself because–”

Ai, Haldir was about to confess. I couldn’t let him do that. “Because we are family, and it would have reflected negatively on all of us,” I finished saying for him. I needed to change the direction this conversation was heading. “What I want to know from you, Orophin, is … what are you going to do now? Will you turn me in? Will you force me to give up the army, giving some sad excuse as to why one of the best archers, and the Captain of the Guard decided to retire his post? You can sit here all day and bring accusations against Haldir, but what will you do? Are you willing to do what you say Haldir could not do?”

Orophin did not speak. He went to the table, placing his hands, palm down, on the top. He leaned over as though he was in deep thought. “I need some time to think about all of this, to come to terms with all that I have just learned. I can promise you this much. I will not speak of this to anyone until I’ve made my decision, and I will come to you and Haldir first.”

“You are my brother, Oro, and you have to think about it first?” I asked out of desperation. I wanted to know now, not whenever he had time to think about it.

“I am a soldier and a Captain. I have never … not once … had to cover anything up. It is my duty to uphold the laws. But I know that I also have a duty to protect my little brother, and keep him from harm.”

“And what about my feelings on this. You are playing with my heart that belongs to the army, and my soul that belongs to Legolas. There is so much more at stake besides your decision. I will give you the time you need, but just keep in mind that I am still the same elf I was before you discovered my secret. Your decision could have devastating consequences.”

Orophin nodded once, and I knew he understood what I was saying. “I’ll leave you to make your decision. Just remember that others are involved in this, and your decision could alter the fates of many, including yourself.”

I left Orophin’s home, feeling less than hopeful. I knew better than to push my brother into making the decision that would be more to my benefit than his own. I just wished that he wouldn’t take too long, and that he would make the best choice of all of us. Still, my world … my life was in his hands right now, and that was unsettling.


	14. Chapter 14

Nearly a week went by since my brother, Orophin, walked in and found Legolas in my bedroom. I hadn’t talked to my brother, and I hadn’t seen or talked to Legolas since that time. Legolas was spending his time with his traveling company, completely ignoring me. Our last conversation didn’t go very well. It went horribly, to be honest. We’d had a terrible argument, and I don’t think my loyalties were where he wanted them to be. The fact was, I loved Legolas without a doubt, but I needed to deal with my brother, and that meant separating myself from my lover until I could clear the air. Legolas didn’t like that, and he took it to mean that I was abandoning him or not fighting for what we have … or had. I didn’t know where we stood with each other, but since he had made himself scarce, I figured he was too angry to speak with me. I couldn’t speak with him because I knew Raenor had everything to do with this situation. He was the one who sent Orophin to my house that morning, knowing that Legolas and I were probably together. Raenor could have spied on us. He could have forced his way into my home and caught me with his own eyes. But he chose to have that witness be my brother, who had no idea about my lifestyle, and put him in a difficult position.

Orophin prided himself on being a strict rule follower. It was one of the reasons why he was the Captain of the largest army in the Northern Guard. I knew for a fact that he had let soldiers go in the past when he learned that they had participated in relations with other soldiers. It didn’t happen often, maybe only once in his regiment, but Orophin knew the laws of the army, and had to regrettably let some of his finest men go. He told me once that he was not against elves with those preferences, but it was the army’s law that elves of such a lifestyle were not allowed to serve in the Lothlórien army. Orophin was only doing his duty as a trusted member of Lórien’s military. He had no secrets, and I wasn’t sure he was willing to keep one now, even knowing he was protecting his own brother. I wished to speak with him about it, but he’d said he needed time, and I was going to give him all he needed.

I received a message by the end of this torturous week, quietly slipped beneath my door. So, it was a private message, and I didn’t know from whom I wished it would be. I missed Legolas something terrible, and I just wanted to make things right between us. I didn’t know how much longer he would be here, and I couldn’t stand the idea that he would leave without seeing me once more, even if he was still mad at me.

On the other hand, and just as importantly, I needed to talk to Orophin. I needed to know what he was thinking or feeling, what he felt should happen now that he knew. Both situations needed to be addressed and fixed, but there was only one message. It could only be one of them.

I bent down and picked up the neatly folded parchment, staring at it as though it would begin to speak. Well, there was only one way to know, and I opened it quickly.

There were only a few words written in my brother’s handwriting. I was glad he was finally wanting to discuss things with me, but my heart fell at the realization that I still hadn’t heard from Legolas. The letter simply said, ‘We need to talk. Come by later. Orophin.’ And so, that’s what I did.

Later that day, I went to my brother’s house. He was waiting for me as I walked up to his door. Seems he was just as anxious as I was to get this matter dealt with.

“It’s good to see you, brother,” I greeted first.

“It is indeed. Come in. I’ve made us some tea,” he said. That was a good thing. Tea meant he was ready to sit down and have a deep discussion. My heavy load lightened slightly from my tired shoulders.

The last time I had been here, Orophin would hardly speak to me. Haldir was there to help mediate things, but Oro wasn’t in much of a speaking mood. Now, it was just the two of us. I wondered if Haldir knew, I thought to myself as I took a seat at the kitchen table.

My family had always used the kitchen as a place of discussion, whether it was joyous or not. There was something very comforting about a kitchen. It was a mutual place, not like a study or a living room where the décor was more personalized to the individual who owned it. Everyone had a kitchen. Everyone was welcome in this area of a home. It was also the place where wine and food was kept, which had a lot to do with it too. And in this kitchen, there was a pot of tea on the table and cups ready to use. A pot meant we would take our time talking things out. There was no food on the table, but it was close by on a preparation counter. I figured he wanted to see if I would stay or not before he brought it over, not wanting me to feel obligated to have to stay if I didn’t like where things were going. Too much analysis, I told myself, and waited for Orophin to sit down.

“How are you?” he asked, starting the conversation.

“Honestly, I’m tired,” I responded.

“You look it, too. Thanks for coming,” he said.

I smiled and took a sip of tea. “So, shall I start or would you like to?”

“I have a question for you first,” he said.

“Alright, go on.”

“Have you ever been in a relationship with another soldier?”

I looked him squarely in the eyes. “Absolutely not. I know the laws, Orophin. I follow the rules, and I keep my private life separate from my military one.”

Orophin seemed relieved and satisfied with my answer. He leaned back in his chair, and tapped his finger on the edge of his teacup, as though considering something. “I’m not turning you in,” he said quickly and to the point. He spoke before he raised his eyes to me.

I felt my shoulders relax as I breathed out a breath I’d been holding. “That’s good to hear,” I said.

“It doesn’t mean I won’t,” he added just as quickly. “The law does state that no soldier shall have relations with another soldier, no matter his ranking. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and depending on how you answered my question would determine what I would do. I believe you when you say you’ve never been with another soldier, so theoretically, no law has been broken.” Leave it to Orophin to be hypothetical. “It still doesn’t change the fact that I know your secret.”

“I hope you realize that this is Raenor’s doing,” I told him.

“I know about him. I know he has always hated our family, and he’d do anything to see us destroyed.”

“And he just wants to stir up trouble, especially between you, me and Haldir. He’s never known for sure about me. He only suspects things, and he has no solid proof. And believe me, if anything were to happen that would put things in his favor, I would step down from my position immediately. The last thing I want is to see you or Haldir pulled into my problems.”

“What I don’t understand is, if you’ve always known this about yourself, then why pursue a military career?” he asked.

I pushed the spoon around inside my cup, deciding how to answer. “Father raised us to be warriors. He wanted nothing more than to see all three of his sons become ranking officers in the army.” I pushed my cup away, folding my hands together and resting them on the table. “I was so young when he sailed. He saw Haldir become a Captain, and he saw you begin your training. Father never saw what I would one day be capable of. I know I’ll meet him again one day, and when I do, I want him to be proud of me.”

Silence fell between us, but I could feel Orophin yearning to ask another questions. Finally, he allowed himself to. “Did Father know?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t believe he did.” This was important to Orophin, I could tell. He adored our father, thought of him as a hero. To know that our father pushed me into a military life, especially if he knew about me would have tarnished my brother’s vision of him. I don’t think he knew, though. I was still young when he left, and he put Haldir in charge of seeing to my training and progression through the many different ranks. He would have sailed before I ever realized I was attracted to the same sex because I didn’t become involved with anyone until after he was gone.

“You don’t need to worry, little brother. Father will be proud,” Orophin said reassuringly. He stood from the table and retrieved a plate of fruit and cheese from the counter. “Are you hungry?”

This concluded our meeting. With food being served, it meant that all was right between us, and I was welcome to stay. Thankfully everything was straight between Orophin and I, as long as I kept my personal life as far from the military as possible. I wasn’t sure the situation was resolved completely, but this was a start. As for Raenor, he’d have to try again because his plans didn’t work out this time.

It felt good to be back in my brother’s good graces. However, not all was right with Legolas and me. That would be more challenging.

* * * * *

I was in my office a few days later, going over the latest orders, when I received a message from Lady Galadriel, requiring certain ranking members of the army to be present for . . .

I stopped and read it again. No, I hadn’t misread it. The fellowship was preparing to leave Lothlórien and continue their journey. There was to be a ceremony upon their departure, and I was one of the officers that Lady Galadriel requested to be in attendance. Why didn’t Legolas come to me and tell me that they were leaving? I knew we’d had a falling out, but I didn’t think he would just leave without a word. Instead, I had to find out through this note. I decided the silence was too much. I had worked things out with my brother. Now it was time to reconcile with Legolas. He just couldn’t leave without speaking to me. I had to apologize and hope he would understand my position.

I made my way to their camp, where they had stayed for almost a month now. The Hobbits were sleeping, and Aragorn and Boromir decided to go off to monitor near the border as they planned the remainder of their journey. Legolas wasn't in the camp, and no one knew where he was. He hadn’t been around much in the last week. Gimli, the dwarf, was the one who told me all of this. He was the only one there to speak with.

I thanked him for his kindness and started on the path back to the city when Gimli called out to me. “He’s been miserable the last few days, you know.”

I stopped and turned back to the dwarf. “I assume you speak of Legolas.”

“Who else? It’s you and him that are … um … uh … friends,” he said uncomfortably.

“Well, we’re a little more than friends, but–”

“Let me stop you right there, Elf. Don’t know what goes on around here and don’t want to know,” he grumbled.

“I apologize if I–”

“However,” he interrupted, obviously needing to say something important. “Legolas is a part of this company, and my friend.” He furrowed his bushy brows. “Just a friend,” he made clear. “And if something is bothering him, it bothers me too. Now, I don’t like elves, and I’m not one bit worried what you think of that, but I like Legolas. He’s a good person, as well as an avid fighter, and we don’t need him sulking around when we meet the enemy. We need him to be sharp and clear minded. Whatever happened between you two has seemed to have left him in a fog.”

I was sorry Legolas was in this state, but at the same time it warmed me to know he still cared. “That is why I’m here. I wished to speak with him.”

“What you must remember is that Legolas is unique. He’s not like other elves.”

“How so, Master Dwarf?” I asked, intrigued by Gimli’s evaluation.

“Don’t take this personally, but Elves just seem too self-important. You must agree with them or be wrong. You must understand their language or be mute. Abide by their laws or be guilty. Legolas is not like that. I’ve seen him risk his life multiple times, all for our cause, and not think twice about doing it. I’ve seen him disagree with some of our choices, yet he came along quietly without raising a stink. He does what’s best for the group, not what best for him.” Gimli explained.

“You do not think I would do the same?” I said, offended.

“I know you wouldn’t.” He shifted his stance and looked around to make sure the Hobbits were still sleeping, and no one else was around. “It is very obvious that the two of you are … close. He spoke of your troubles. I know why you have made yourself scarce. Like I said, follow the rules or be guilty. Am I right? But what do you think Legolas would have done if the situation had been flipped? Do you think he would have pushed you away as you did to him? No. He would have stood up for what he believed. He’d probably go so far as to try to change the laws. See, with you, and many of your kind, it’s black or it’s white. With Legolas, it’s gray. You understand what I’m saying?”

“You are saying I did not fight hard enough,” I answered.

“You didn’t fight at all, and now Legolas is moping around here somewhere. What you want most does not come easily. Sometimes it comes with a price. You must be willing to make sacrifices at times. That’s what Legolas does. That’s how he lives his life. Give and take, bend and straighten, push and pull.”

“But it is more complicated than that, Master Dwarf,” I started to explain. Gimli held his hand up, not wanting to hear it.

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing it right.” That was all he had to say. He gave a bow and went back to the makeshift tent where his bedroll was, and I was left wondering how I could be such a fool.

I started on my way, deep in thought, surprised that a dwarf could make such sense. Perhaps I’d been too quick to turn Legolas away. I should have put up a better defense for us, not made him invisible.

“Rúmil,” he said from behind.

I spun on my heel. “Legolas, I was … just looking for you.”

“Are you sure you want to be seen speaking with me? You don’t want anyone thinking we are … together … or anything,” he said with bitterness. Then his face softened in an instant. “I’m sorry. That was–”

“Called for,” I finished. “I was wrong to push you away like that. I should have stood up for you, for us.”

“But it was your brother. I understand why. It just … hurt, that’s all.”

“If it was any other circumstance . . .” I looked down at my feet, not knowing what to do or what to say. And then, Legolas was in front of me, lifting my chin with his fingers. Our eyes met, and I fell in love all over again.

“It’s alright, Rúmil.” He kissed me gently. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too. I hear you’re leaving tomorrow.”

He nodded. “Yes. We must be on our way. We’ve a long journey ahead of us.”

“Where will you go, or can you not say?” I asked.

“Mordor,” he whispered, as though saying the word would bring the enemy out of the shadows.

“You can’t,” I said. I cocked my head to the side and furrowed my brow. “You mean you will take the enemy’s weapon straight to his own doorstep? That’s insane.”

He smiled arrogantly, “Wouldn’t be a real mission without a little insanity, now would it?” Just as quickly, he dropped the fake smile, and real concern washed over his features. “It’s the only way to destroy the weapon. It must be cast into the fires of Mount Doom.”

Suddenly I was scared for him. Walking into Mordor seemed like a one way mission. I could see by the look in his eyes that he knew this too. I thought of what Gimli said, of how Legolas would risk his life for others. I thought of the oath Legolas said he had taken. He meant to do this, even if it meant he would not be coming back.

He must have seen the distraught look on my face, because he smiled lovingly, eyes creased at the corners, sparkling blue in the light of the lanterns. “It is a long journey. There’s no telling where it will take us. Perhaps we’ll find another way.”

“No, there is only one way,” I said, unmoved by his attempt to cheer me up. “And I fear there will be no way back. I’ve just found you, Legolas. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Come now. Do you not remember the battle at the river? You thought then that I was reckless, but I proved my skills to you. They’ll not kill me. I’m too quick and too smart. I’ll come home.”

I forced a smile and nodded, but some part of me held doubts about his return. Still, I managed to keep up the charade. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Where? Here in Lothlórien?” he seemed to jest, but I was serious.

“You come back, and I promise . . .” I paused. I was about to strike the deal of the millennium. “I swear upon my love for you that I will give this up.”

“Give what up?” He was still smiling, but it was slowly fading as he realized what I was about to say.

“Come back to me, Legolas, and I’ll come with you to Mirkwood. I will leave Lothlórien, my brothers, the army. I’ll leave it all to be with you. If you can go to Mordor and commit yourself to this impossible mission, then I can commit myself to you.”

“Rúmil, I … I never–”

“Don’t try to talk me out of it because it won’t work.” I pulled him close to me so that our foreheads rested upon each other. “You just come home. That’s all. Come back to me, please.”

“I’ll do everything within my power.” He kissed me, slowly at first and then with more demand. Then he pulled me into his arms, and held me against him, whispering in my ear. “I’ll be unstoppable knowing you’ll be waiting for me to return. You’ve given me the strength I need. You’ll be with me on this journey, the first thing I think of when I wake, and the last name to utter from my lips as I fall into slumber. I love you, Rúmil.”

“And I love you.” 

“And if the two of you don’t shut up, I’ll never get to sleep,” Gimli grumbled from inside his tent, which was nearby where Legolas and I stood.

I smiled and laughed. “I apologize, Master Dwarf, if we have disturbed your beauty rest.”

“It’s not done him a bit of good so far,” Legolas jostled, and there was unintelligible mumbles and groans coming from the tent.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” I asked, hopeful.

“By the gods, how I want to, but I can’t. I’ve promised to meet with Aragorn. It’s very important,” he said regrettably. 

“It’s alright. I’ll see you at the parting ceremony tomorrow. I’ll be with you until you leave.”

“Good, I’d like that,” he smiled, kissing me again.

* * * * *

The weather was perfect the next day. The fellowship would have a good start to their journey. I couldn’t help but think the Valar were smiling down upon them, sending their blessings. At least the beginning of their travels would be calm. Once they were beyond the protective borders of Lothlórien, though, they would be on their own.

There was a meal prepared for the fellowship, and for those attending the ceremony. Haldir was there, but Orophin was not. I learned he had been asked, but decided not to come. I think it made him uncomfortable to see me and Legolas within the same vicinity. I wouldn’t dare push him. He had to come to accept me as I was in his own time.

Many other Captains were there, but thankfully not Raenor. I didn’t have to feel like I was constantly being evaluated, though Legolas and I still maintained a professional air. Still, every now and again, I’d catch him watching me from a distance. Our eyes would connect, and he would bow his head to me. I would return the gesture, and silently wish we could slip away one more time.

With the meal complete, it was time for them to go. Three boats were given to them, loaded with as much food and supplies as they could take. I watched Legolas as he helped the elves pack the boats. He looked very confident, but I saw the worry on his brow. No one else would have noticed it, but I knew. He had every right to worry. They were heading into the heart of the enemy. Odds were against them, and some would undoubtedly not make it. But I thought of what Legolas told me, that nothing would happen to him. He would come back. I had to believe that. He was the best archer, he was an elf. He would be their lookout, able to see danger off in the distance, giving them a chance to avoid it at all costs.

The boats were almost loaded, and I caught Legolas’ eye. I waved him over, needing to speak to him one last time. “You will be careful,” I told him.

“I will. Do not worry for me,” he smiled.

“I’ll do nothing but exactly that.”

“I don’t know how long it might be, but the first chance I get to send word, I promise I will.”

I nodded in agreement. “Good, I would like that, though I know it might be a very long while.”

He looked past my shoulder, searching around the area. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind the tree we were standing in front of. We were hidden from the others, and he pushed me against the tree, capturing my mouth with his, our bodies flush against one another. I kissed him like this would be our last, and in the back of my mind, this was my greatest fear. We admitted how much we loved each other, and I told him again that I would be with him in Mirkwood, once all of this was over and done with. Then, just as quickly as it began, it was over, and we straightened ourselves and returned to the others just in time for Galadriel to make an announcement.

“Before you leave, I have gifts that will help you along your journey,” she announced. The fellowship lined up, shoulder to shoulder to listen to her speak her wisdom. Then, each member was outfitted with their own Lórien cloak, fastened with a broach in the shape of a mallorn leaf. It was just like the one my mother gave me.

Galadriel spoke to each member, and to each she gave a very special gift that would help them on their journey. I watched as she spent time with each one, explaining the importance of the item. She made her way down the line, finally coming to stand before Legolas. She smiled at him as he stood at attention. “I have sent word to your father to let him know you are well,” she informed. “I hope you don’t mind that I took this liberty.”

“No, my lady, I have done so myself,” Legolas commented.

“I know your father quite well, young Prince. He can be a very stubborn elf, but every decision he makes is for the good of his people. You are very much like him in that manner, though you have not the same doggedness as him. As for putting yourself before others, that is something you inherited from the King, and a very noble quality, too.”

“Thank you, my lady,” Legolas bowed.

“You are the eyes and ears of this company, detecting danger before anyone else. It is only fitting that you should have a weapon as mighty as your courage,” she continued, and I suddenly had an idea.

“My lady,” I interrupted. “I would like to offer my bow instead.” I saw that an elf standing behind Galadriel held a bow, ready to give to Legolas upon her gesture.

“Are you sure, Captain Rúmil? You have had that since you finished your training. An elf’s weapon is a part of him, shaped to him over the years,” she said.

“Legolas and I have developed a close friendship since we met in Mirkwood. He helped me when I needed it most, and I feel that this is the least I can do to show him my gratitude.” I was very careful how I worded it, but Legolas knew my real feelings anyways. I smiled at him, not caring what anyone around would think. “I have not a doubt that my bow will fit him, and it will protect him, as well as those he protects with his skills. I would be honored.” I handed him my weapon and bowed with my hand over my heart.

Legolas examined my bow very closely. It was much longer than his Mirkwood bow, the curve shallower, made from a light colored wood. His was made of a dark wood, shorter and deeper in design, good for fighting at close range. Mine was better for firing at long distances. His hand glided over the smooth curve of the handle and upper limb, as though he was caressing his lover. I realized that he’d never actually looked at my weapon, let alone held it. He seemed in awe of its details. “It is a weapon of pure beauty, Captain. I shall gladly accept your gift on one condition … that you take mine in exchange. Will you keep it for me until I return?”

“I would be proud to,” I said, accepting his bow. No one could have known what we were really saying to each other. It was a promise that he would come back to me, and my promise to him that I would be here waiting.

Galadriel finished giving her gifts and we escorted the fellowship to their boats. This was it, I thought to myself. They were leaving, and I didn’t know when I would see Legolas again. Oh how I wanted to pull him away in secret and kiss him one more time. Instead, I walked by his side, our cloaks hiding our hands as I reached out and took his. He squeezed mine in return. That was all we could afford. Legolas helped Gimli into his boat, and then he stepped in. I had a leaf wrapped bundle of lembas, and as I bent down to give it to him, I whispered very quietly into his ear. “I love you, Legolas.” As I pulled back, our eyes connected, and I found it difficult to look away.

“And I you,” he said in return before we were too far apart. We weren’t worried about Gimli overhearing us because he knew our secret. The other elves were too far away to hear.

And then, Gimli looked over his shoulder at me. “Don’t worry laddie. I’ll watch out for him,” he said, surprising me.

“You are a good friend, Gimli. I’m glad he has you,” I said in return. Gimli nodded once and turned back towards the front of the boat.

Legolas picked up the oars, and I pushed the back of the boat from the shore. “Good bye,” I said to him.

“For now,” he answered. He watched me as he paddled, and I watched him travel further and further away. All three boats were far out on the river getting smaller with every passing minute. Everyone on the shore stayed and watched them go, even Galadriel. And when they were nothing more than a speck in the distance, we all left together.

Once we were back in the city, and everyone went about their business, Haldir came up alongside me. I was standing on one of the walkways, looking out over the city. “You alright?” he asked.

“I will be,” I answered. I stared over the distance a moment before speaking again. “I wish Orophin had been there.”

“He just needs some time,” Haldir comforted. He patted me on the back. “Come on. I think we both need a drink right about now. I’ve got a bottle of Dorwinion I’ve been saving. Now seems like an appropriate time for it.”

“Agreed,” I said, and we went to Haldir’s home to relax and lose ourselves for a while.

* * * * *

A few weeks passed by slowly. I thought of Legolas every day, wondering where he was and what he was doing. Was he alright? Was he injured? What about the rest of the fellowship? It was torture not knowing anything. It wasn’t my place to know, though. I had to wait until the day Legolas sent word. Or at least I thought I’d have to wait.

I was making my way to my office when I noticed a lot of whispering and shocked faces. To my left and to my right, word of something significant spread faster than I could walk. I came upon some members of my regiment and stopped to listen to the conversation.

“It was only a matter of time before something terrible came out of that place,” said one elf.

“It’s a travesty,” said the other. “To think that someone, and a Maia no less, could succumb to such evil intent.”

“Who has succumb?” I asked, interrupting them.

“Good morning, Captain. We were just talking about the wizard, Saruman. It’s been reported that he has an army of orcs, battle ready and weaponized,” said the soldier.

I knew something of this already. Túron had told me about this earlier. He had seen for himself what was going on in Isengard. “It is a shame, but the wizard has picked a side, and if he intends to bring harm to Lothlórien, we will be ready for him.”

“They are not on the move yet, but from the looks of it, they could march at any time,” the second soldier said.

“Word spreads quickly,” said Haldir from behind me. I hadn’t even known he was there. The two soldiers seemed surprised also, and bowed awkwardly.

I watched the corner of Haldir’s mouth quirk up. He always did enjoy making the soldiers, especially the young ones, nervous. “As you were,” he told them. “So, you have heard about the Isengard orcs?”

“It is the news of the day so far, March warden. What might your opinion be in this matter?” said the first soldier. He seemed much braver than his fellow troop.

“I’ll just say this.” Haldir gave them a stern look. “Never underestimate the mind of a Maia.” He grasped my shoulder. “Accompany me to my office, brother?”

“Of course,” I said. I nodded to my soldiers, and told them to head to the practice fields. “Gather everyone and tell them to start on their own. I will be there as soon as I can.”

Haldir and I walked along the path leading to the Officer quarters, and I questioned him on this news. “We’ve known for a while about Saruman. Has something happened that we should be concerned?”

“You could say that,” he said tersely. We walked a little further in silence, which told me that something serious was brewing. I knew he wouldn’t say anything more until we were in private, so I didn’t push. But there was something else that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. He had information, that much I knew, and he wouldn’t speak of it until we were alone, which told me this was something of great significance.

Finally, we were in Haldir’s officer quarters. “I spoke with Lord Celeborn first thing this morning. Scouts arrived last night with their findings. As the young soldiers were saying, Saruman has troops ready to march. We’ve known for a while that he has been growing an army. What we didn’t know was how big that army really was.”

“And obviously it is a fair size,” I guessed.

“Overwhelmingly so,” he said, confirming my fears.

“Well, we know they are ready to move, and we know their size. Do we know where they will march to?” I braced myself for an answer, one I was sure I already knew. They were coming to Lothlórien.

“Rohan,” Haldir said as I was still anticipating my own prediction.

“Rohan?” I inquired when it registered. “What could he possibly want with Rohan?” They would be no match for an army the size of what Saruman owned. In terms of war, Lothlórien seemed to be the bigger target.

“It has come to my attention just what devilry has been going on there. Saruman has been controlling Rohan from afar, hoping to crush them from within. But his deception was uncovered and the throne is once again being ruled by its King. The wizard must be very upset by this, and he will not submit easily. He still wants Rohan, and he plans on seizing it with his new army,” Haldir explained.

“And just where did you get this information from?” I asked curiously.

“This is the part you will not want to hear,” he answered, making my stomach clench.

“And why not?”

“Because it was Aragorn who sent a message to Lord Celeborn.”

“Aragorn?” I wondered. “What would he know of Rohan? He and the fellowship should be getting close to their destination by now, if all has gone well.”

Haldir looked at me with eyes that spoke more than actual words. “All has not gone well, has it?” I asked cautiously.

“No, it hasn’t,” he replied, and I felt my heart sink, my first thought going straight to Legolas. “Some unforeseen events have taken place.”

“Unforeseen? Like what?” I inquired.

“According to Aragorn, the fellowship is broken. They are no more.” Haldir went on to explain to me, in short detail, what happened. Apparently, they came into trouble not long after leaving Lothlórien, and they were attacked.

“And they’ve only made it as far as Rohan?” I wondered aloud.

“Some of them, not all. But let me ease your mind and tell you that Legolas is there with Aragorn. So is Gimli.”

“And what about the rest?” I asked anxiously.

“The Hobbits are not with them. Frodo and Sam have gone on to find their own way to Mordor. The other two are safe. That’s all I was told. But Boromir, the Gondorian Captain, fell when they were first attacked.”

All I could think was that it could have been Legolas who fell, and thank the Valar it was not. It was a horrible thing to say. I’m sure Boromir had loved ones who would mourn his death, but they were human. They would not fade from loss and broken hearts.

There was a knock on the door, and Haldir called for whoever it was to enter. A messenger stood in the doorway, an anxious look upon his face. “March warden, the Lady requests your presence in her chambers.”

“Do you know what this is about?” he asked.

“She did not say, only that all March wardens were needed. You should hurry,” the messenger advised.

Haldir nodded and then looked to me with a sigh. Something was happening. I would have to wait until he was finished before I knew.

I left Haldir’s office and made my way to my own. Not long after, someone knocked and slowly opened the door. Túron poked his head in. “May I come in?”

“Of course,” I hurried to say.

“I saw you coming from Haldir’s office. I assume you’ve heard the latest news.”

I nodded. “I’ve heard many things, but I’m not sure what any of it means.”

He smiled with confidence, and I looked on with suspicion. “Something tells me you know more about all of this than you lead on.”

He shrugged and gave me a smug look. “I am a spy. Guilty as charged.”

“So, do you know what this meeting is about?” I pushed.

“That is the one thing I don’t know much about. Lady Galadriel is very good at keeping things secret, even from someone like me.” He strolled around my office until he came to the head of my desk, placing both hands firmly on top and leaned towards me. “What I do know is that a plea for help came with that message from Aragorn.”

I creased my brow in concern. If Legolas needed help . . . “What do they ask for?”

“Troops,” Túron answered. “Saruman’s army outnumbers Rohan. His only intent is to destroy the men of that land and take it for himself. I don’t think he will stop there, though. The wizard means to control as many realms as he can, but whether he does it for himself or for Sauron is not clear.”

“So then, they must be discussing plans to send troops to Rohan,” I said, more to myself than to Túron, but the look on his face said I was mistaken to think that.

“Lord Celeborn has declined.” 

“What?” I said, shocked. “You must have misunderstood.”

“He fears that this is what Saruman wants us to do, to send our army and leave Lothlórien weak. He will not chance it,” Túron explained.

“Not chance it? So it is better to let a nation get slaughtered than to take that risk?” I was angry and it could be heard in my tone. I stood from my desk and made my way to the door.

“Where are you going?” Túron asked.

“To put in my opinion.” I was going to that meeting, whether I was invited or not. “I have to make them see what a mistake it will be to do nothing.”

“Wait,” Túron called, grabbing my arm.

“Why would you stop me, Túron? You know I am right about this.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Lord Celeborn on this matter. Don’t forget, I saw this army with my own eyes, and that was long enough ago that I’m sure their numbers have increased dramatically since that time. Still, Saruman knows he cannot attack Lothlórien directly, not without weakening us somehow.”

I yanked my arm from his grip and narrowed my eyes on him. “I cannot believe you are saying this. You know the importance of the fellowship, and don’t pretend you do not. If we can help aid their mission in any way, we must.”

“The fellowship is broken, Rúmil. The weapon has been taken by another route.” He paused and shook his head. “You are not thinking clearly. You’re only thinking of Legolas, and you are not considering all the other factors that play into this,” he accused.

“I am thinking of the thousands of men, women and children who will be killed or turned into slaves if we do not help Rohan,” I said defending myself.

“And what about the lives of the elves that would perish in another war. Do they not matter?” he challenged me.

“Elves have fought alongside men since we both first occupied Arda. That’s what we do. We help and protect those who need our strength,” I argued. “And if Rohan calls for aid, then we should go.” I left my office and Túron behind, and went to find out where this meeting was being held. Once I had my information, I marched straight to Lady Galadriel’s meeting chamber, ignoring the sentries stationed on either side of the door, and forced my way in. To my surprise, the meeting was already adjourned. Haldir was still there speaking quietly with Galadriel. They stopped and faced me when I came barging in.

“I wish to speak with Lord Celeborn,” I demanded. “I believe he is making a fatal mistake.” 

Galadriel glanced at Haldir, and then back to me. “I agree Captain.”

“But I was told you refused to send help,” I said, confused by what she was saying.

“My husband refused, Captain Rúmil, and for good reason.”

“You do not agree?” I asked.

“Lord Celeborn knows much about war and strategies. He has answered many calls for help, but he always puts his people first, and in this case, he may very well be right. Saruman is an extremely powerful wizard, but his mind has been corrupted. He may or may not take Rohan, but no matter the outcome, he will not stop there. The wizard must be dealt with, and I would rather do it now than wait until he comes to Lothlórien.” She glanced at Haldir. “I just had a few matters to discuss first.”

Haldir bowed his head to her. “Thank you, Lady Galadriel.”

Turning her attention back to me, she spoke. “You seem very enthusiastic about this, Captain, and well informed for someone who wasn’t in attendance at the council.”

I gave a nervous glance from Galadriel to Haldir. “Word … spreads, my lady.”

She smiled, the sternness fading from her features. “It is good to know you are passionate about this cause.”

“I believe that everyone must do their part if this war is to be won,” I said.

“Good,” she said, pleased with my answer. “Prepare your troops, Captain Rúmil. There is no time to waste if we are to make it to Rohan before Saruman’s army arrives.”

I bowed, hand over heart, and left to notify my men that we were going to Rohan. I didn’t know what Lord Celeborn was going think when he learned that his wife overruled his decision, but that wasn’t for me to worry about. Galadriel, after all, was our Queen, and she always had the last word. It wasn’t often that she made a ruling over her husband’s final word. I thought that she must have seen something in her mirror, which she used only when it was absolutely necessary. I wondered what she might have seen this time, and put my trust in her that it would be a victorious outcome. Otherwise, I didn’t think she would go forward with sending Lórien troops to Rohan. This was good, I thought to myself. I felt very confident, and I was anxious to be on our way.

* * * * *

Meanwhile . . .

“You are right about Rúmil,” Galadriel said to her most trusted March warden, Haldir. “He definitely has your father’s passion.”

Haldir smiled proudly. “Of the three of us, Rúmil is most like him. My brother has all the qualities that makes a great leader.”

Galadriel nodded and sighed, her demeanor changing to something more solemn. She reached out and took Haldir’s hands in hers. “You are positive about this?”

“It is my duty to lead Lothlórien into this battle,” he assured her.

Surprising him, Galadriel took Haldir into her arms, hugging him, and whispered a prayer in ancient elvish, asking that the Valar watch over him and his men. It was all she could do now. She had given her ruling. Lothlórien would join in the fight to save Rohan and its people. Only the ancient ones in Valinor would know how it would end, but she put her faith in them, that they would be ever watchful over their children, and welcoming to those who did not come home.


	15. Chapter 15

Lady Galadriel was correct to say there was no time to waste. No sooner had I notified my men than a message arrived with details of our plight. We would march in the morning. We had no choice. Scouts said Saruman’s army was already marching out of Isengard. If we left tomorrow before the sun rose, we would make it to Helm’s Deep with only hours to spare.

I was at the armory, making sure everything was being done when I was told I had a visitor. I turned to see Túron waiting to speak with me. I finished what I was doing and went to him.

“Rúmil, I just wanted to apologize for our earlier conversation,” he said sincerely.

I shook my head and smiled slightly. “There is no need for that. You were simply voicing your opinion. We both were and we disagreed. I should not have been so harsh.”

“I just feared you were reacting because of … personal reasons,” he said gently.

I didn’t want to talk about this here with so many of my men around. I knew Túron was referring to Legolas. He had mentioned it when we were arguing. “I assure you it was not. We have a duty to answer a call for help. That was my only argument.”

“And it looks as though you won. You’re leaving for Helm’s Deep soon.” I couldn’t help notice the anguish in his voice.

“Well, it wasn’t my doing,” I laughed. “I don’t have that kind of influence.”

“You have a lot more than you think,” he whispered.

“What is this really about, Túron?” I asked suspiciously.

He looked as though he was about to confess something, but thought better of it and sighed. “Be careful out there,” he finally said, dismissing my question. “We still need you here in Lothlórien.”

Although he never said anything about it, I knew Túron still harbored feelings for me. At one time, I thought he was someone I would spend the rest of my time with, but it didn’t work out that way. Then, I met Legolas and my whole life changed. Still, a part of me felt sad about the way things ended between Túron and I. At least we were able to put our past behind us and remain friends. I just wished he would find what I had found with Legolas. I would feel better knowing that Túron was happy and had moved on in his heart. I was about to say something to that fact when I was interrupted.

“Captain, you are needed,” said one of my soldiers.

“On my way,” I answered, but I didn’t move right away. I felt like I needed to say something to Túron.

He smiled and waved me on. “Duty calls.”

I left, but I couldn’t help the feeling that came over me, as though I’d left unfinished business behind. There was nothing I could do about it now. I had a war to win.

* * * * *

There were no incidents as we made our way to Rohan, and it was a good thing. It wasn’t an easy journey. The Lothlórien army had to march without stopping in order to make it to our destination on time. We only stopped periodically to break for food or water, and to let the horses rest, but we stayed no longer than we had to. Now we were on the final stretch of road. Helm’s Deep was only a few hours away. We were taking our last break before our arrival.

As usual, I checked in with Haldir and Orophin. Everyone was in good spirits and anxious to reach the Rohirrim. I was more than anyone, because I would get to see Legolas again, though I kept my excitement to myself. We wouldn’t have long before we were under siege. I wanted to make sure he was ready, though in my heart I knew he was. He was a Wood elf; they were always ready.

Haldir was telling us the layout of the place we were going to. I don’t know why. We had all studied the maps we had. We knew about all the entrances, where the townspeople would be, where the soldiers would be stationed. As soon as we arrived, Haldir would discuss the positioning of the elves, especially the archers. My men would be amongst the first to fight, as usual, taking out as many enemies as possible before they stormed the gates. Helm’s Deep was a stronghold. There was only one way in, one place for the enemy to attack. The walls were very high and extremely thick, and my men would be at the top firing down at the orcs. That much I could guess.

“It will be different than what you are used to. We won’t have the cover of a forest, and, should the enemy break through, there will be no other way out,” Haldir explained. “Our main goal is to keep the orcs from invading the keep and tearing down those doors.”

“They would have to have a mighty weapon to get through such thick doors,” Orophin commented.

“They’ll have trolls, and if they have enough, it could pose as a problem,” Haldir said.

“Then we’ll focus on them,” I added. “We won’t let them through.”

“You have to understand that even with Lothlórien’s army joining the fight, we are still significantly outnumbered. Every arrow must take down its intended target. The more we eliminate in the initial advance, the less we’ll have to worry about once they get to the walls. The one advantage we have is that the main gate is only reachable by a narrow causeway. Not many orcs will be able to attack at the door at once.” Haldir was getting things ready in his mind so he would have a plan by the time we arrived. Orophin and I assured him that we would do everything possible to keep the stronghold safe.

We were finished with our discussion, and were now sitting around a small fire that someone had lit. It wasn’t much, hardly enough to keep someone warm. It was a cloudy day and there was still a chill in the air, as the world was transitioning from winter to spring. I looked up at the sky and sniffed. “There will be a storm later. I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” I commented.

Orophin huffed a laugh. “You were always better at detecting the weather.”

Haldir joined in. “He could tell you when it would begin to rain and when it would stop, and be correct within an hour of the time. I never understood how you could do that.”

“I don’t know myself,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I guess I can feel it and smell it.”

“And having the ability to speak to the trees doesn’t hurt,” Orophin added.

“I suppose, though I haven’t heard from them in a very long while.” I hadn’t had any time to spend speaking to the trees, and I suddenly found that I missed it.

Orophin laughed and kicked at the dirt with his boot. “Do you remember when Rú was just an elfling, and we thought he’d run off and gotten lost?”

“Do I? It was me who had to go looking for him,” Haldir said, smiling. “Father was beside himself with worry.”

“We searched all of Caras Galadhon looking for you,” Orophin said. “And all that time, you were right above our heads.”

“It was Father who found me,” I said, remembering as though it had only happened yesterday. “I’ll never forget the look on his face. At first it was anger for having climbed up so far, and then relief when he knew I was safe in his arms again. He gave me a good scolding that I never forgot.”

“He said you were talking to the trees when he found you,” Haldir commented. “I thought for sure he had been mistaken. No one had spoken to any trees in Lothlórien in a very long time. And you were so young. I couldn’t understand how you even knew their language.”

“And as far as I knew, Fangorn Forest was the only place where the trees still talked,” Orophin said.

“All trees talk, but they communicate in different ways,” I informed.

“Why did you ever climb up there in the first place?” Haldir questioned. He stopped and laughed. “Was it so you could hear them better?”

I smiled, but my heart hurt a little when I thought about it. I hadn’t remembered this in a long while. “I heard their whispers, but I didn’t know it was the trees. I … I thought it was Mother calling from across the sea, and so I followed the voices. Now that I think about it, I believe this must have been the first time I’d ever heard the trees.”

“I almost forgot,” Haldir reminisced. “She would have sailed not long before that. You were so little, Rú. I was always sorry that you never got to know our mother.”

“I got to know her through you and Orophin, from your stories. One day I will meet her again, and I’m sure I’ll know her well,” I said softly.

“One day perhaps, but not any time soon,” Haldir said, though there was worry in his voice.

“Are you concerned about this battle we march to?” I asked. Haldir had been unusually calm. Usually he was very animated and charged when going into battle. I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. It wasn’t fear … more like an inner peace.

“No, but I am always concerned for my brothers,” he answered.

“You’ve nothing to worry about as far as Orophin and I are concerned,” I tried to convince. “We are ready for this fight, are we not, Oro?”

“There’ll not be an orc left standing,” Orophin said with confidence.

“I know you’ll both do well,” Haldir said. He shifted, looked away, and I caught what I could have sworn was the glint of a tear, but I knew I had to be mistaken. He’d never become emotional before, especially like this and before battle. Just as quickly as it came on, it dissipated. He turned back to Orophin and I, fire in his eyes. “No matter what happens, neither of you will stop fighting.”

Orophin puffed out his breath, as though to say our brother was being ridiculous. “When have we ever stopped? I’d no sooner wear one of Lady Galadriel’s gowns than give up a fight.”

Haldir laughed and the mood became lighter, but I couldn’t help wonder why he seemed troubled. It was very unlike him. I waited until we disbursed and Orophin was heading back to his regiment to make sure his men were ready to continue. Haldir started to walk towards wherever his duty took him, but I put my hand on his arm to stop him. He was hesitant to even look at me.

“What is this?” I said.

He straightened and composed himself. “I’m not sure I understand you.”

“You are acting strange. Do you know something the rest of us do not?” I accused.

“If I seem anxious, it is only because the numbers are stacked against us in this fight,” he admitted.

“That may be so, but we have our courage and our wits. Saruman might have more warriors, if you can call them that, but they are orcs. Let’s not forget that. It’s not numbers that matter, it’s skill.”

He looked at me with one brow raised in question. “Since when have you become so overly confident?”

“It’s not overconfidence. It’s knowing my enemy better than they know themselves.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Something I learned from the Wood elves. Did you not learn anything in all the times you visited Mirkwood?”

His eyes narrowed and he seemed to study me a moment. “You really connected with them, didn’t you?”

“I learned a lot, or perhaps I just learned something different from what I’ve been taught. But yes, I do have a fondness for them … for Mirkwood.” So fond, in fact, I was prepared to leave Lothlórien once Legolas came home. I couldn’t tell Haldir about my decision, not yet.

He clasped a hand to my shoulder and smiled. “It was a good decision I made to send you there. You learned about another culture, experienced it firsthand. That is the kind of thing a leader should know.”

“A leader? What are you suggesting? Haldir, what is going on?” There was something more happening here, but he wasn’t talking about it.

He wouldn’t say anything for a moment. Then he searched my eyes and looked deep. His face softened as he smiled at me, studying my face. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound negative. I think I’ve put too much thought into the statistics of this battle, and sometimes it feels like an impossible feat.”

“We are not alone in this fight. The Rohirrim are strong. They are mighty warriors. Together we will face this evil, and I have no doubt that we will be victorious.”

Haldir’s demeanor changed and the worry faded. He took in a deep breath and looked around at all the soldiers ready for battle. It seemed as though he was looking at them for the last time, and for a few of them, I guess this would be a last time. Not all of us would survive this coming night. Perhaps that’s what had Haldir behaving rather abnormally. When we were protecting our borders, there was always a greater chance that everyone would survive. If what the scouts reported was true, there would be more enemies than allies, and unfortunately a better chance that lives would be lost. “We will do what we must. That’s all any of us can do.”

“Did you not agree with Lady Galadriel’s decision to come to Rohan?” I wondered as I tried to get some insight into Haldir’s thoughts.

“I was … skeptical,” he admitted, and I was shocked to hear it. Then I remembered how Haldir was still with Galadriel after the council had ended. She had been speaking with him alone.

“She was asking for your opinion, wasn’t she?” I accused. “When I came in, she was conferring with you about this.”

“It is not the first time that Lady Galadriel has talked with me in private about such matters,” he said, defending himself.

“And what did you tell her when she asked?” I needed to know where he stood in all of this.

“What does this matter now, Rúmil? We are in this war.”

“Did you agree or did you side with Lord Celeborn?” I asked carefully, speaking each word slowly.

He turned from me as if to leave, but he stayed where he was. After a few moments of silence, he spoke. “I agreed with Lord Celeborn.”

“But why?” I was confused by his admission. We had always agreed on such matters.

“I understand we have a duty to answer the call for help, but even with our help–” He paused and considered his words carefully. “We are going to lose men this night. That knowledge is something that weighs heavily on my mind, for I know if we hadn’t come, those men would live on.”

“Those men want to be here,” I reminded him. “I am one of those men, Haldir, and if I die in this war, at least I know I did everything I could to make sure Rohan is not overtaken by evil.”

“Don’t talk like that, Rú,” he said solemnly.

“I’m sorry, but it’s a truth that we all must come to accept. I don’t understand you,” I said shaking my head. “You’ve fought countless battles and you’ve never second guessed yourself, or at least you’ve never shown it outwardly.”

“I have never gone into a battle knowing that I . . .” He broke off his words. “Knowing that such great numbers of men would not survive. Lord Celeborn knew this also, which is why he did not want to participate. But Lady Galadriel is very persuasive, and I know these sacrifices are inevitable, but necessary in order for us to save Middle-earth from catastrophe.” 

“Lady Galadriel sometimes knows the future. She would not agree to this if she thought we would fail. We must trust in her powers,” I said.

Haldir got a far off look in his eye as I spoke of Galadriel. It was a bit unnerving, but so was this whole conversation. I could understand Haldir’s reasoning, but I put my trust in the Lady of Light. We would win this night.

“Yes,” he finally agreed. “Lady Galadriel’s premonitions must be considered. She has seen things in her mirror. She told me of some of them. Of course, there is always the possibility that what she’s seen is not the path that will be taken.”

“It’s not difficult to see this path,” I smiled reassuringly. “The enemy will have elves to deal with.”

Haldir came back to me and smiled. “Yes they do, brother. Yes they most certainly do.” Then his smile faded. “Rúmil, I’ve thought about this for some time now.” Those simple words made my stomach cringe. “And if something were to happen to me–”

“It won’t,” I demanded.

“I said ‘if’,” he replied and went on. “I wish for you to take my place as March warden of the Northern Guard.”

I could hardly believe he was asking this of me. First off, nothing could ever happen to my brother. He was one of the greatest elven warriors in all of Middle-earth. And second, he’d never talked like this before, and it scared me.

“Haldir … I … I don’t . . .” I stammered.

“Please just consider it … if … something happens to me,” he pleaded.

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” I assured him. Neither one of us said another word about it. This was just nervous talk before a big battle. Every soldier had a moment like this, several in fact. Haldir was no different than the rest, but he was strong and brave, and I knew he would come out of this just fine.

* * * * *

As our army approached Helm’s deep, we took in the sight of the great stronghold. It looked indestructible, but looks could be deceiving. The walls were high and the land leading up to it was flat. Carved into the rock, there was no back way in, but that also meant there was no other way out. If the place became overrun, we might all be trapped. We would just have to make sure that didn’t happen.

We made our way to the causeway, our elvish horn signaling our arrival. Lothlórien had answered the call, and I was never more proud. Our army marched up to the doors, which opened as we approached. We filled the courtyard, elves dressed in full armor spilling in like a tide breaking its levies. At this point, I split off from my regiment to join the other Captains and Haldir. We took up the head of the army, ready to meet the King of Rohan and his most valuable men. Théoden, King of the Rohirrim, stood at the top of the stairs that led into the main hall. He hurried down the steps, a man on each side of him, and met Haldir on the cobblestone courtyard. My brother introduced himself and said that we were sent by the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien in answer to a plea for assistance. The King looked confused by this information. He also looked very tired and careworn, like a man who was operating on the last of his hope.

“Please do not misunderstand me,” Théoden confessed. “I am beyond grateful that you and your army of elves are here, but I am certain that it was not me who called upon you.”

“That’s because it was me,” said Aragorn from the head of the stairs. He looked different than I had seen him last. He seemed more mature, kingly even. When I had met him in Lothlórien, he seemed lost without his leader, Gandalf. He hadn’t any idea what he was supposed to do next, and was there to ask Lady Galadriel for advice or an answer. To see him now, there was no mistaking him for a leader himself.

Aragorn flew down the steps with a smile on his face at the sight of Haldir. I was so enthralled watching him, I didn’t notice two more figures descending the stairs after him, Gimli and Legolas. By the gods, he was a sight for my well-traveled eyes. He looked vibrant with his skin glowing, hair freshly braided, and wearing his Mirkwood garb. A new bubble of pride burst when I saw him, my prince, my sanctuary.

Legolas didn’t see me at first. Dressed in my armor and my head covered by my helmet, I looked like every elf in the courtyard. And Legolas’ attention was on Haldir and Aragorn’s reunion. I must have moved because suddenly, he picked me out of the crowd, his brilliant blue eyes boring directly to my soul. Every fiber in my being wanted to run to him, to take him in my arms and hold him tight. Our attention snapped back to Aragorn as he forfeited a proper elvish greeting and hugged Haldir. I laughed internally at my brother’s confusion, not having been greeted in this way before. It was the way Men showed their appreciation for someone they hadn’t seen in a long time, or in this case, for someone they weren’t sure would arrive at all. It was like a sigh of relief, to know that they weren’t alone in this battle, and that the elves would not abandon them to fight on their own.

My eyes left them and fell upon Legolas, who was smiling at the reunion. He lifted his eyes to meet mine, and the smile was still there. It shifted into something that was meant only for me, a message that we needed to meet as soon as we could get away. I gave the slightest nod to him, and I could see he understood.

“Where is the rest of your men?” Haldir asked the King.

Théoden looked up and around to the civilians watching from the walls above. “You are looking at them.”

I glanced up, shocked by what I saw. Young boys and elderly men gazed down on us, boys whose helmets were so large they covered their eyes, and old men whose knobbed fingers were wrapped around spears and swords. This was no army. These were the citizens who needed protection by their garrison. Where were the strong and sturdy men of the Rohirrim, the horse lords of legend?

“Saruman’s army will arrive tonight,” Haldir warned. “We only have a few hours to prepare. Shall we discuss plans?”

“Yes, of course,” Théoden answered. “I’ll arranged for council within my chambers. In the meantime, tell your men to make themselves at home. I’m sure your journey was long and tiresome. We’ll need everyone rested.”

Haldir gave the orders before going off with Théoden and Aragorn to begin strategizing. Once they arranged a plan, the rest of the officers would be given details and told where our regiments would be stationed. I watched as Aragorn called for Legolas and Gimli to join them, but Legolas leaned into his ear to whisper something. Aragorn glanced over his shoulder to me and nodded in agreement to whatever Legolas had said.

The rest of the elves dismissed themselves to walk around the Deep and get a feel for the place. My sight stayed on Legolas, and I saw him give a subtle signal with his hand, telling me to follow him. I removed my helmet and kept my distance, but watched as he went back up the stairs to a porch. There, he disappeared through a door to the left. I came along soon after. Inside was a hallway with women hurrying up and down. They hardly noticed me; so wrapped up in their mission, they were gathering baskets of food and clay jugs of water, taking them to the back of the area. I heard a whistle and saw Legolas up ahead disappear through another doorway. Then I came along, and found another hall, this one vacant. A few doors lined the hallway to either side. It was much quieter here than the main hall. I watched as a woman scurried past me, and when I saw my chance, I shot down the empty corridor. The first door I came to was left cracked open, and I ducked inside, closing the door behind me. It was black as pitch, but sound seemed muffled in there. Flint struck stone, and a blaze of light blinded me temporarily. A small oil lamp glowed bright and then faded to half. And there he stood, his hair turned to the color of gold in the flickering light.

“Rúmil, how I’ve missed you,” he whispered. He set the lamp on a shelf and I flew to him, losing all dignity and pinning him against the cold stone wall.

“You have no idea,” I whispered back, tossing my helmet down, and capturing his mouth with mine. He smelled like fresh hay and wood smoke, no longer like the green leaves and damp earth of his home. His environment had changed and so had his aura. “You smell like the horse lords,” I laughed.

“Do I offend my love?” he asked playfully.

“It’s a nice change, but I prefer you scented like a forest, like the ruins of your grandfather’s halls,” I answered. My hands worked their way beneath his tunic, needing to feel the warmth of his flesh. “Are we safe in here?”

“I believe so. This room has already been emptied of its important contents and taken to the caves, but I’ll block the door just in case.” He kissed me as I released him, and went to wedge a chair under the door handle.

“Is that where all the women were heading off to, the caves?” I wondered.

“Yes, there they will keep themselves, their children and those not able to fight. They will be safe there while the war commences.”

While he stepped away from me, my concerns turned to what I should expect later. “The Rohirrim army, why are they not here? Where are they?”

Legolas came back to me and fondled my braid between his fingers. “It is a long story, one that I am not in the mood to tell at the moment, for reasons I cannot ignore.” His body pushed against mine, revealing this solid reason against my thigh. “The King was locked in a spell set upon him by the wizard Saruman, and while in this state, his nephew, Eomer, Third Marshal of the Riddermark was falsely arrested and sent away for treason. His men were loyal to him and went with him, riding to the north. Gandalf has gone to find them and hopefully bring them back in time, but–”

“Wait,” I interrupted. “Did you say, Gandalf?” It couldn’t be. He had fallen in Moria.

“Oh, you don’t know,” he said surprised. “Yes, Gandalf, he was sent back. Gandalf the White he is now, and much more powerful than before. He was the one who broke Saruman’s spell over the King.”

Still trying to register the information, I stammered as I asked, “How … er … Where did you find him?”

“Fangorn Forest.” He couldn’t contain himself anymore and started kissing my neck. “I promise I’ll tell you everything that happened after leaving Lothlórien, but right now I need you, Rúmil. I need you badly.”

I gave in easily to his persuasion, for I wanted him too. His breath was hot on my neck, and his hands roamed down my back to settle at my hips. “How do I get you out of your uniform?” he whispered.

Without hesitation, I began shedding the layers of my protective gear. Legolas, of course, wore nothing but his simple green tunic and leggings. “Whatever I take off, you’ll have to help me put back on,” I said.

“Gladly,” he smiled deviously. Then he laughed. “Have you learned nothing from my people? Still wearing all of that confining leather.”

“Well, this is different. We’re not fighting from the trees. You should consider adding a few protective layers yourself.”

“Why? Are you worried for me?”

I stopped undressing, having shed my uniform, and now stood before him in only my undershirt and leggings. I looked him squarely in the eyes. “If ever there is a time to worry, it is now. Have you not seen the young and the old armed and standing along the walls? This is no army. And what comes towards us outnumbers even the Lothlórien army.”

“I trust that Gandalf will show with the Rohirrim army,” he admitted confidently.

“Yes, but when? If he is not here soon, this entire battle is upon our shoulders.”

Legolas gazed at me, searching my eyes. “Alright, I will shield myself if it will make you feel better.”

“It will.” I kissed him, once, twice, and the third time I devoured him. No more time for talk. Now we just needed each other, to feel the closeness that had been absent for so long.

Completely stripped of our clothes, I laid down on the hay strewn floor, pulling Legolas down with me. We wasted no time, and in one swift movement, like a pair of dancers, he was upon me, kissing me, spreading me. I held onto him as though to never let go, and let him take me to the stars. As we moved in rhythm, Legolas whispered into my ear, of all the times he’d wished I was with him, missing me, missing this.

“You have me now iaun nín,” I answered, just as he brought us both to fruition. Legolas stilled, back arched, head thrown back, moaning gloriously, and I answered with my own cry of pleasure.  
After we returned from our enchanted state, he collapsed upon me, and I wrapped my arms around his back, hands roaming along his spine, feeling all muscles and hidden strength. He was so lean and fit, and he contoured to me perfectly. I lowered my legs to wraps around his shins, and he remained buried, breathing heavily. How I wished we could stay like this forever, but it was only something I could dream of. Legolas released his detumescent flesh from my reluctant body, and came to rest at my side. We both moved so we were facing each other in the flickering light of our secret room, and stared into one another’s eyes. I was lost in those blue depths, hoping I’d never be found again.

“I can hardly wait for all of this to be over. I know I’ve made a vow, and I must see this through to the end, but there are times that I wish I could forget about all of it, and whisk you away. I have dreams of you and I living in Mirkwood, making a life there, and we make love every night, each time feeling like the first.” He twirled my braid in his long fingers. “Have you told your brothers of your plans yet?”

“No, not yet,” I said, feeling a bit guilty. How would I tell him about Haldir’s request, that I should become March warden should he not return from the war? There was only one way, and as I opened my mouth to speak, he spoke first.

“You will, when the time is right.” He kissed my nose and smiled, satisfied.

“You’re not upset?” I questioned.

“Of course not. Why should I be? You will tell them at an opportune moment, but I beg you not to wait until the day you leave.”

“I would never do that,” I told him, my brows creasing. “I must give them ample time to find my replacement.”

“Why? Will they adopt a new brother?” he jested.

I laughed and shook my head. “My Captain’s position, you imp.” It was so easy to get lost in light conversation with him, mostly because I did not wish to discuss reality. The chances of something happening to Haldir were slim, and I don’t know why I was so alarmed by his plea. It was very unlike my brother to speak of such things. Still, I knew I had to tell Legolas what Haldir said, and that there might be a chance that I wouldn’t be able to follow through with our plans. Perhaps if he knew, then we could both keep an eagle eye on Haldir. “Legolas, there’s something you should know.”

“Yes?” he said, the love in his eyes radiating upon my face.

“Haldir has asked me to–”

But I didn’t finish my sentence. The handle of the door rattled. Someone was trying to enter our temporary sanctuary. We both jumped up as quickly as possible, naked as the day we entered this world.

“Shit, someone’s trying to come in,” I whispered, desperately snatching up articles of my clothing.

“I think the door is stuck,” said a muffled woman’s voice.

“I’ll go get something to open it,” said another woman. “Go to the next room and double check to make sure we got all the supplies.”

Whoever it was stopped trying to open our door. Legolas and I dressed quickly. As we did, he laughed, carefree as usual. “Imagine their faces if they had walked in on us making love.”

“I’d rather not, thank you,” I complained. “Hurry, Legolas. Let’s be gone before they return.” I had dressed in my underclothes and tunic, but I needed his help to tie and buckle me into my armor.

“You don’t need this,” he reminded me. “You’re more like a Wood elf than you think. You’re quick and you’ll outsmart every orc that comes at you.”

“I’m also a Captain or have you forgotten,” I reminded him.

Finally dressed, Legolas removed the chair from the door and peeked into the hall. “It’s clear. Let’s go.”

I moved towards the door, but at the last moment, he closed it and captured my lips. We kissed knowing this would be our last until after the war, and who knew how long after that. Then he gazed into my eyes and cupped my face in his hand. “Stay safe, Rúmil.”

“And you too,” I replied, covering his hand with mine. We left the room and made our way back to join the others. I regretted not being able to tell him. So I put my faith in the hands of the Valar who watched over us, and hoped that they would see all of us through this battle safely.

* * * * *

The council ended and the officers returned to their men to give their orders. Haldir gathered all his Captains, including Orophin and me. Legolas returned to Aragorn and Gimli, but he stood where I could see him. I couldn’t help my eye from wandering to him, but I kept my ear on Haldir.

“Rúmil, you will post your men along the center of the Deeping Wall. All other troops, line up to the left and right. I want all bows trained at the approaching orcs. Once they pass a certain point on the field below, I want all swordsmen ready for a breach of the wall. It was reported that they bring great ladders to scale the walls of Helm’s Deep.” Haldir went on with details of the fight, our places and what to expect. Of course, no one could really predict what would come to pass once the enemy arrived, but we had to be ready for anything.

Once he was finished, he allowed questions from his men, and the main concern was about the Rohirrim, the young boys and elderly men now armed with blunt and rusted weapons. Haldir proceeded to tell them what Legolas briefly told me, about Gandalf being alive and more powerful than before, and that he was bringing the King’s soldiers back to fight. This information only served to partially ease their nervousness, due to the fact that no one knew when the horse lords would show.

“Let them fight as best as they know how,” Haldir said about the Rohan citizens. “Your main focus is on the enemy, and keeping them at bay for as long as possible until reinforcements arrive.”

I glanced across the way towards Legolas, and he turned his attention to me at the same moment. I nodded and he nodded in acknowledgment. I could see he was thinking the same thing I was … that this was going to be a very long night.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Together we stood on the Deeping Wall, me and my two brothers. Our men were in position along the wall, mine centered here and Orophin’s stationed closer to the gates where, when the time came, his excellent swordsmen would help protect the main doors. The night was as dark as tar. Clouds veiled the moon and the stars. Earlier I had predicted that a storm was coming. It wasn’t raining just yet, but I could smell the moisture in the air, and feel it growing thick in my lungs. We kept our eyes focused on the vast plains spread out before the stronghold. Soon, the land below would become flooded by the army created by Saruman, the wizard gone astray. I often wondered what changed his heart, from being a member of the White Counsel, along with Lady Galadriel, Lord Elrond and Mithrandir, to becoming their enemy. They had defeated evil in the past, and Saruman was on their side then. What happened that the wizard’s mind became so corrupt, he would go against the very people that he fought alongside not but half a century or so ago?

“Look there,” Orophin whispered, gazing out across the land.

I narrowed my eyes and focused. I could just make out a wide row of pale flickering lights. A few seconds later, another row appeared behind the first, and then another and another, as though breaking the horizon had ignited their torches. “They’re here,” I whispered in answer. It was still a long way off, but they would be upon the grounds of the valley below within the hour. These were our last moments together before the siege. Unfortunately, there was still no sign of Gandalf or the Rohirrim army.

“It is up to us,” Haldir said, eyes never leaving the distance. “I had hoped there would be reinforcements by now, but it has not happened.”

“We’ll be fine without them,” Orophin said with confidence. That’s just how he was. Nothing was ever impossible. Only doubt could break apart his insistence, and there was no room for doubt in Orophin’s mind, too full of arrogance it was. But he wasn’t so arrogant that he was blinded by it either. It was a delicate balance, something our father had taught us.

“You both know what to do?” Haldir questioned. It was only small talk at this point. He knew we were ready for this, but he was our older brother, and still in charge of us to a degree.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Of course,” said Orophin.

“Good,” Haldir responded. “It is time we took our positions now. Orophin, will you take one last walk past the troops, and make sure their Captains are ready?”

Orophin nodded and bowed, heading in that direction to make his final rounds before joining his regiment. Haldir hadn’t yet released me, and I knew why he sent Orophin away first. I knew what he was going to say.

“Have you given anymore thought to my offer?” he asked.

I had hoped to avoid further discussion about this, but that wasn’t going to happen. I had to tell him, and I needed to do it now. This was not how I wanted it to go, but Haldir was leaving me no other choice. “Brother, I wished to have this discussion before the fireplace at your home, sipping fine wine and reminiscing, but it will have to happen here on the edge of battle.”

“Yes, I had hoped for that too, but that is not how it turned out.”

I saw his brow raise as he waited for me to go on. “What you propose is a great responsibility. I do not know your reason for not wanting to pass this on to Orophin, for I feel he would be the better choice. So, let me start by saying, your worry is unwarranted, for nothing is going to happen to you on this night.” I paused and bumped him with my shoulder, and I saw a brief lift of the corner of his mouth. “I believe you when you say the King’s army will arrive before the end of the war. We just have to keep the enemy at bay long enough until that time, and that, dear brother, I know we have the power to do.” I grabbed his arm roughly. “Just keep your bloody head on your shoulders, you cocksucker.”

I actually heard him gasp at my use of vulgarity, something unusual for me. But it was all I could do, short of knocking him over the head, to make him understand that he was just being paranoid. Then his shoulders bounced jovially as he laughed in silence. “I shall try, if for no other reason than to hear you speak like a ruffian again.”

Somehow I had managed to avoid giving him an answer, but I’d also avoided telling him about me and Legolas wanting to settle in Mirkwood when he finally returned from his mission. As Legolas had said, I would tell him when the moment was right, and just before going to war was not a good time.

Just then, Legolas approached and stood next to me. “Aragorn says his men are all in position and ready. King Théoden is within the hall. He shall stand with the men inside the gate. The women and children are safe in the caves.”

“Good,” Haldir replied. He turned his sight from the horizon to face Legolas, and I thought he was going to say something about my decision to go to Mirkwood, but he didn’t. “And where will you be this night, Prince Legolas?”

“You’ve called for all archers to man the wall, so this is where I will fight,” Legolas answered, surprising me.

“But what about your fellowship? Shouldn’t you be with them?” I asked.

“I suppose I should be, but here I find myself in the company of an army of Lothlórien elves, and in battle, there is no place I would rather be than with my own kind,” he said passionately.

“And we welcome you and your outstanding talents, my Prince,” Haldir added. Then he bowed to Legolas and I. “It is time I took up my station.” With that, he left.

“There is plenty of space along the wall. Feel free to take up a place anywhere you like,” I offered, trying to sound as professional as possible, After all, we weren’t alone.

“I prefer to fight with Lothlórien’s best archery regiment, if that is acceptable to their Captain,” he said, and a wickedness flitted across his blue eyes. I decided to play with him a bit before the seriousness of the night settled in.

“If you choose to be a member of my garrison, then I’ll gladly accept.” I looked him up and down. “You’ve no helmet, soldier, nor any other form of protection.”

He smiled and patted each of his shoulders. “I’ve got these,” he said proudly. He wore thick leather layered shoulder pads, but no other armor. “I promised someone that I would wear some kind of armament. What do you think?”

I shook my head and looked at him with a questioning lift of my brow. “Well, your head, heart, lungs, and stomach are exposed to becoming wounded, but at least your shoulders will be fine.”

He laughed. “Even with the threat of battle, you still manage to find some kind of humor. That is a good character trait to have, something I admire in an elf.”

Suddenly, I felt his hand squeezing my arse. He’d managed to sneak it beneath my cloak without anyone seeing. I jumped, but caught myself before I moved too much to be noticeable. “Why, thank you. I’ll remember that.”

As we finished our banter, one of the Rohirrim lookouts shouted. “The enemy approaches!” With my accurate elf vision, I’d seen them a while ago, but humans could not see as far as the elves, and they were just now coming into view.

“Time to go, Legolas,” Gimli complained, coming out of the crowd of elves on the wall. “I’ve found us a good spot where the wall is broken away a bit. I want to be able to see the red of their eyes. Now hurry before someone else claims it.”

“Good luck, Captain. Stay safe,” Legolas said, and I heard the compassion in his voice.

“You too, Legolas,” I replied, only wishing to have one more moment with him, but there wasn’t any time left.

* * * * *

War. It was a nasty business, and one I had only participated in a few times. Battles were more my thing, protecting the borders of Lothlórien, for example. There was more room for cleverness, especially in a forest. But this was a completely different setting. I didn’t much like being trapped in one place, and that’s exactly what this felt like.

As we opened fire, my archers took out several lines of orcs, but they stretched far beyond that, in a seemingly endless stream. We couldn’t keep them away from the walls, and soon they were crashing against the stone fortress. They began erecting giant ladder that would allow them to reach the top. Some succeeded, but others were destroyed before they could be used. I knew things were going ill when I began to see orcs running along the top of the wall, mixed in with elves and men. Orophin had to split his company up, sending some to defend the wall and some to keep watch at the gates.

As me and my men dealt with the ladders, I noticed a new commotion happening on the causeway. The orcs gathered together with their shields raised over their heads, pushing some strange device. Someone closer to the gate shouted something about a battering ram, and I instantly knew what they were attempting. They were sneaking their equipment up the causeway, and then they’d try to break down the heavy wooden doors. I gathered a group from my regiment, leaving the rest on the Deeping Wall, and we went towards the main gate. I looked down to the causeway below.

“Aim for the ones on the sides,” I commanded. Those orcs’ legs and sides were exposed. My men stopped firing from above and did as I said. Orcs began falling to the wayside, revealing the monstrous weapon. The front of the ram was shaped like a wolf’s head, and even had fire burning in its mouth. “Keep shooting,” I yelled. We had to eliminate as many orcs as we could so that there wouldn’t be enough to work the ram, but there were so many. For every orc that we felled, it seemed two more took their place. It didn’t take them long before they were attacking the main doors.

I looked over to see some boys dropping large rocks down onto the orcs at the doors. My first instinct was to wonder why they weren’t in the caves with the rest of the civilians. They must have snuck out. And then I realized that they just wanted to protect their home as much as their fathers, brothers or uncles who were not here to do the job themselves. “Hurry Gandalf,” I whispered to myself.

I felt my men and I were making progress on the action at the gates when I heard Aragorn calling from somewhere near. He was using elvish, commanding Legolas to fire upon an Uruk hai. I stopped what I was doing to find the Ranger and see where his attention was focused. He was pointing to the field below.

“Take him down, Legolas. Hurry!” Aragorn shouted above the noise of battle.

I searched the chaos, trying to find Legolas, and finally saw his gilded head leaning out over the wall. He was back towards the center of the Deeping Wall, where I’d left the rest of my troops to fight. Legolas, ignoring the ladders and the orcs breaking over the top, jumped up and stood on top of the stone, aiming down into the crowd of orcs below. I cringed at the sight of him carelessly exposed and dangerously close to the edge.

“Kill him!” Aragorn shouted with desperation.

Legolas had his bow aimed and ready, fully concentrating on his target. I followed his line of sight and saw an Uruk hai running with a lit torch in his hand. He was coming straight at the wall. My attention switched to the place he was running towards, and it just so happened to be the most vulnerable place in the entire stronghold. The Deeping Wall was solid stone except for this one place, a small culvert which allowed water from a nearby stream to flow into Helm’s Deep. It was their only source of fresh water, and it was directed to flow inside so that the occupants did not have to risk leaving the stronghold, especially during sieges such as this one. I thought it odd that this beast would charge at the small opening, which was fortified with thick iron bars so that no outsiders could pass through. Even if the enemy was able to cut through the bars, which I thought highly unlikely, the passage was so small that only one orc at a time could squeeze through.

I looked at Legolas just in time to see him firing two arrows at a time, but not aiming them at his intended target. The arrows were bent, just like the ones he used to teach me his trick for using spent arrows. The bent arrows left his hand, flew up, crisscrossed, and came down, one into each shoulder of the Uruk hai. Legolas had taught me this maneuver to show me how to incapacitate an enemy so that he would not have the use of his arms, but could still walk and be transported somewhere else for questioning. But this time, it didn’t work. The arrows made the beast stumble, but he kept running, and he didn’t drop the torch.

But why was Legolas so desperate to stop this Uruk hai? What damage could a torch do to iron or stone? Perhaps the beast would knock himself out as he crashed into the solid rock. Just then, I saw a group of orcs leaving the culvert, running away and telling other orcs to follow. The area around the hole in the wall suddenly opened up. I could just make out the edge of something black and round like a ball sticking out of the culvert. What was it? I wondered.

“Kill him now!” Aragorn kept shouting.

Legolas released three more arrows, each one hitting its target, sinking deep into the Uruk hai’s chest and neck. The last arrow hit him in the heart, but he was almost to the wall. With his last effort, the creature dove head first into the culvert, lighted torch stretched out in front of him. I watched as the flame touched the black ball. Suddenly it started to burn with a white light, sparks flying from an opening on the top. I realized that it wasn’t just a ball, but a container of some sort, and it was filled with some kind of explosive, which was ignited by the torch.

It all happened so fast. I glanced towards the elves and men along the Deeping Wall, directly above the place where the culvert was. Some were my men, some were Orophin’s, some were the old Rohirrim men fighting for the horse lords who hadn’t showed up yet. And then I saw Orophin among them.

“Get away! Move away from there!” I screamed, fighting my way through the crowd. “Orophin!” I shouted repeatedly. He heard me and glanced towards me. I was waving my arms, trying to tell him to run. From my perspective, I couldn’t tell how close to the area of danger he was. I kept losing sight of him as elves and men stepped in my way, still fighting the orcs that had climbed to the top.

All of a sudden, there was a bright flash, an explosion that shook all of Helm’s Deep, and rock and broken stone flying through the air. The center of the Deeping Wall collapsed. All I could do was watch as bodies flew through the air, and people screamed. Dust and debris clouded the area, and I couldn’t see anything anymore. For that one moment in time, everyone stopped fighting to see what had happened. Large chunks of the wall rained down, hitting and killing those who didn’t perish in the blast. All I could think about was Orophin.

I pushed and shoved my way to where I’d last seen him. The air began to clear, and just as I was about to take another step, someone grabbed my arm to stop me. It was a good thing, because my next footfall would have met nothing but air. I was at the edge of the broken wall. The entire center section was gone. Water from the stream poured into the area, flooding the courtyard below. As I looked down, I saw all the bodies, or parts of them, scattered around. That’s when I noticed a set of stairs leading to the ground. I’d forgotten about them. I tried to yank my arm free of my captor, but he wouldn’t let go. I hadn’t even turned to see who had saved me from falling, and did so now. It was Legolas.

“I have to go down there,” I told him. “I have to get to the other side and see if Orophin is alright.”

“You can’t,” he said and turned his eyes to the gaping hole. “Look.”

I looked where he pointed and saw nothing but orcs pouring into the courtyard. “The yard has been breached,” Legolas said from behind me.

“Men! Protect the keep! Protect the King!” Aragorn shouted from somewhere back by the main gates.

“To the courtyard!” I heard Haldir call in elvish, and I saw all the elves rushing to get down from the wall. The stairs that Legolas had stopped me from declining were now filled with people going to meet the onslaught of orcs.

“I’m going,” I said and pulled my arm from Legolas’ grasp.

“Not without me,” he said, and followed.

It was hand to hand combat now, and I abandoned my bow for my sword. Legolas fought beside me, his twin blades flashing as they struck out and slain the enemy. I made my way to a large boulder of broken stone and jumped onto it. From here, I could see the area better. Legolas climbed up beside me, and switched back to his bow, dropping orcs like flies.

“We can’t stay here long,” Legolas said. “Do you see your brother?”

I searched desperately, but I couldn’t tell him apart from any of the other armored elves. “Orophin!” I shouted several times. Suddenly, one of the soldiers stopped and looked up from across the distance.

“Rúmil!” he shouted back.

Oh, thank the Valar, he was not destroyed in that blast. He was on the opposite side of the courtyard. He must have been on the other side of the wall when it exploded. “I see him,” I told Legolas. “He’s alright … for now.” Orophin was with his men, fighting orcs.

Legolas stopped firing long enough to take in the scene around us. “There are too many of them.”

I looked towards the missing section of Deeping Wall. Orcs, Uruk hai and trolls were spilling in, the entire army of them. “We have to fall back,” I said to Legolas. “We have to get inside the keep.”

Legolas looked towards the main hall and saw Aragorn. He called out to him, gaining the man’s attention. Then Aragorn took in the sight of the massive orc army filling the outer area. “Fall back!” he commanded. “Fall back! To the keep!”

Word spread quickly, men and elves calling out to retreat. I waved at Orophin, and passed the command along. He called out to the people around him and everyone began slicing their way back to the main hall. Legolas and I went together, helping anyone who needed it along the way, making sure they knew what was going on. It was complete chaos. And then we heard a familiar voice.

“Come on, you rotted corpses. You’ll not get past me.” It was Gimli, and he was standing in the middle of the water streaming into the courtyard. He was swinging his axe like a madman, maiming and killing orcs as they ran past him, but he was about to get overrun by a new wave of enemies.

“I’ve got to go get him,” Legolas informed.

“I’ll come with you,” I offered.

“No, you get inside. You have your men to rally to. I’ve got Gimli. I’ll meet you within the keep.”

Seeing that there was no argument to be had, I nodded and went on my way while Legolas fought his way to Gimli. I glanced back just before I got to the stairs, and saw that Aragorn had also come to help their friend. They grabbed the Dwarf by his arms and had to drag him away. I discovered a new outlook on Dwarves after that. They were stout and stubborn, but they fought ferociously and without fear. A Dwarf was a good soldier to have on your side in battle.

I reached the stairs, the same ones that I’d seen Legolas standing upon when I first arrived at Helm’s Deep earlier this day. The elves had filled this courtyard then. Now it was all destroyed, flooded by the stream, stained with blood and bodies, littered with debris from the explosion. And still, there was no sign of Gandalf or the Rohirrim army. I wasn’t sure how much longer we could hold out. We had tried to keep them at bay, but with the wall compromised, all we could do now was barricade ourselves within the keep. This was the last thing I wanted to happen. We were all trapped here. We’d lost a lot of men and elves already, yet it seemed that we hardly put a sizable dent in the orc army.

My first plan of action was to start figuring out how many of my regiment was still alive. I had seen them upon the wall when it was destroyed. I knew quite a few had been killed in the explosion. I prayed that the number remained small.

As I was running up the steps, Haldir called out to me. I stopped just a few steps shy of the top and looked back. He was at the bottom of the stairs, worry creasing his brows. “Where’s Orophin? Have you seen our brother?” he asked desperately.

“He’s fine. He wasn’t on the part of the wall that was torn down, but he’s still over on the other side. I told him to gather his men and return to the keep. He should be along any minute.”

“I’m going to go look for him,” he informed me. “Where is Legolas?”

“He and Aragorn went to help Gimli. They are on their way.”

“And your men?” he asked, knowing my regiment had been on the area of the diminished wall.

“I’m going to count heads now.” As I spoke, a rush of orcs came towards the stairs. “Haldir!” I shouted as I raised and pulled on my bow. He spun around, sword in hand, and suddenly we were in combat again. From my position high on the stairs, I could shoot multiple orcs, keeping them at bay as Haldir fought with the ones closest to him. The problem was, my arrows were almost spent. I used the remaining wisely while descending the stairs at the same time. Then I tossed my bow to the side and retrieved my sword. Haldir and I stood back to back, slashing and stabbing, trying to incapacitate as many as we could.

“We need to move before we’re overrun,” he shouted above the noise.

I looked over my shoulder, up the stairs and cringed at what I saw. Orcs were beginning to pour onto the breezeway above, and soon they would cut off our path to the keep. “Haldir, let’s go … now.”

We ran up the stairs, but the orcs in the courtyard followed. Haldir fought them off from behind while I advanced and guided us towards the clearest path on the breezeway, but they were all closing in on us. We were about to be surrounded when suddenly a flash of green caught my eye. Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn were already on the breezeway above, helping us to get inside. From where I was, I could see a door, but it wasn’t close, and there were a lot of orcs in between. Still, five was better than two, and we cut our way through.

Suddenly, Haldir turned to me. “We can’t go without Orophin.”

“He might be inside already. He knows to come and he was making his way back last I saw,” I said.

“Then you go to the keep, and I’ll see if he’s on his way.”

“You can’t. We barely made it this far,” I argued.

“As your commanding officer, I insist that you get to safety. It’s bad enough to have one brother missing. I’ll not chance having–”

“Look!” Legolas called.

Haldir and I stopped arguing and glanced to where he pointed. Thank the Valar, it was Orophin and a band of his men in the courtyard coming towards the stairs. They parted the sea of orcs as they approached, leaving bodies in their wake.

Haldir turned to me with a relieved grin. “He made it.”

“I knew he would,” I agreed, seeing that Orophin was well and that there were more of us to fight.

Someone called for Aragorn, and he waved to Legolas and Gimli to follow. Legolas reached for my arm, touching me gently. “All is well here?”

“Yes. We’ll wait for Orophin and his men, clear the way, and then we’ll be along,” I told him. I could see in his eyes how he wished he could kiss me, but we were forbidden to show our love. “Hurry,” he said instead. I nodded.

The rest of the elves came to the steps, and Haldir ran down to meet them. He told them where to go, and I directed them towards the door after they climbed the stairs. A few straggling orcs came towards us here and there, but we handled it. Orophin was the last to approach, making sure everyone else made it first. He went to Haldir first and hugged him before he spoke. “We diminished their numbers, but more are on their way. There’s no stopping them with that hole in the wall.”

“The only thing to do now is keep them from getting inside. They still haven’t broken through the main gate, but if they do, the main hall will be breached. From there, they will try for the caves. We cannot let that happen,” Haldir informed him.

“What are we waiting for,” Orophin smiled. Then he turned and saw me standing on the stairs. His smile faded.

Ever since discovering my secret and learning that I was in a relationship with Legolas, Orophin had only spoken to me if necessary. Most of the time, he seemed to keep his distance. I didn’t think he’d fully accepted any of it, though we were cordial towards one another. I thought, even now in war, he was still distant. I expected him to nod as he passed me on the stairs, like he usually did at home. I glanced towards Haldir, who was still at the base of the steps. He looked slightly hurt that Orophin still remained cold towards me, but I smiled and shook my head once to let him know I wasn’t disappointed. At least we were all here. My attention turned back to Orophin. He looked tired from fighting. His face and hair were dirty, and his uniform was caked with black blood. Still, he marched up those steps, glad to be alive like the rest of us, and hoping this would be over soon. He started to pass me, but then he stopped by my side, standing on the same step as me. He didn’t say a word, though I felt he wanted to. I thought it best that I spoke first, so that he would know how I felt at least.

“I’m glad you–” I started.

“Thank you,” Orophin interrupted.

“For what?” I wondered.

“For warning me before that explosion. You saved not only me, but a great number of my men as well,” he said.

“There’s no reason to thank me.”

“I’ve been unfair to you as of late,” he explained.

That’s when I turned to face him, and grasped his arm firmly. “You are my brother, Orophin. No matter what happens, I will always want you safe.”

For the first time since our awkwardness began, he looked me in the eyes. Then he took hold of my other arm and pulled me into his chest, hugging me. “I’m sorry, Rú. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, what is this? Come on now. There was no love lost between us. We both just needed time to adjust,” I consoled.

“I just kept thinking that I should have made amends with you before this. If anything were to happen to you–”

“It hasn’t. I’m here, you’re here, Hal’s here.” As we hugged, I looked at Haldir. He was smiling like I’d not seen him do in many years, as he watched Orophin and I reunite. I knew this was important to him. He didn’t like the rift that grew between us any more than I did. I had known that, but I didn’t think it affected him as much as it seemed. To see the smile on his face now made me think that all was right with the world, even in the midst of war. He seemed truly peaceful as—

His smile suddenly turned to shock. His eyes never left mine, but they weren’t seeing me anymore. At first, I couldn’t comprehend why he looked so odd. I thought that he had heard something, as though he was distracted. And then, he slowly fell onto his knees. That’s when I noticed an orc in the distance, standing there, watching.

I pushed Orophin away, forcing him to release me. He seemed confused by my reaction until I called out Haldir’s name. He swung around to see what was happening. Together, we rushed down the steps to our older brother. As we got to him, Haldir fell forward, his hands catching him before he went face first into a step. That’s when we saw it. A hatchet was protruding from his back. It dawned on me that the orc must have thrown it. I looked up to see where the creature was, but he was gone. Instead, there was another wave of orcs and Uruk hai coming into the courtyard. Orophin had warned us that more were coming, and now they were here.

I looked back down at Haldir, and he collapsed onto his side. My ears were ringing from the blood rushing through my body, from the shock of seeing my brother injured like this. Without saying a word, Orophin and I each took an arm and started to lift our brother.

“We have to get him to the healers,” Orophin said.

“He’s not moving,” I said worriedly.

Orophin put his ear to Haldir’s chest. “He’s still breathing. Take his legs. I’ll take his arms. We’ll have to carry him. Hurry.”

I did as he said, and we rushed Haldir up the stairs and towards a door. Orophin pushed the door with his foot, but it didn’t open. It was locked. I started yelling for someone to open it. Orophin kept kicking the door with his heel, and all the while, the orc army was closing in. Suddenly, a black arrow struck the wall next to where I stood. At that exact moment, the door opened, and Orophin pushed desperately, almost knocking an elderly man over.

“He’s injured. Where are the healing rooms?” I demanded.

“You’re looking at it,” the old man said.

I looked around the grand room. It was the main hall. We must have come in through a side door. It was filled with bodies, bloodied and battered, elves and men alike. The air carried a miasma of bile, blood and dirt. The scene before me was horrible. I saw some of my own men here. Some were being tended to for cuts or broken bones; others were in more serious condition. The healers were running around like busy ants. I was shocked to see so few.

“Help us, please!” Orophin called out when no one looked up to notice us.

A young girl saw us and rushed over. She had long red hair and was dressed like a commoner. There was blood smeared on the front of her simple dress, but this didn’t seem to distract her in the least. “What happened to him?” she asked.

“He’s been injured with a hatchet. It is still in his back,” I informed.

The girl looked shocked as she glanced from me to Orophin. She only paused for a split second before she waved us in. “Over here. Put him on this cot … gently. Be very careful. That’s it, lay him on his side,” she instructed as my brother and I eased Haldir onto the waiting cot.

“Are you a healer?” Orophin asked.

The girl shook her head. “I’m only helping to find places for the injured. I don’t know much about medicine, and definitely not about something like this. But I think it was a good thing you didn’t try to remove the weapon.”

“Someone needs to see him this very moment. Please, my lady, will you bring a healer?” I begged. Haldir was looking placid. “This is Haldir, March warden of Lothlórien, and he is our brother.”

“I’ll bring someone right away,” she said as she sprinted off.

“He doesn’t look good, Rú,” Orophin remarked.

“No, he doesn’t,” I agreed, moving his hair from his face.

“What did you see?” Orophin asked.

“One minute he was smiling, and the next his face just went blank. I noticed an orc back by the wall. He was probably the one who threw the hatchet. I hope it wasn’t poisoned.”

“Don’t even say it,” Orophin warned. “Though, if it was, I don’t think he’d still be breathing.”

It felt like forever waiting for the healer to come. Finally, I saw the red headed girl and a man come back into the hall. They came directly to us, and the man examined Haldir’s injury. “When did this happen?” he asked. He was a tall Rohirrim, middle-aged or there about, blond shoulder length hair, clean shaven face, smooth hands that hadn’t seen war. I believed he was their head healer.

“It only happened moments ago, out in the courtyard. We brought him straight here,” I told him.

He looked closely at the point of entry. “There’s not much blood, but as soon as I take this thing out … well, be prepared for anything to happen.”

“This is the leader of the elvish army, and he is their brother,” said the girl pleadingly. “Please, do what you can to save him, Eymund.”

The healer looked at the girl, and then to me and Orophin. Finally, his sight fell upon Haldir. “I’ll do everything I can. That’s all I can promise you right now.”

“That will have to be enough,” I said, stepping back and pulling Orophin with me. “If there is anything we can do to help, please let us know.”

“I might have to take you up on that offer,” Eymund said, then turned to the girl. “I need sutures, needles, a stack of clean rags, and bring me that jar of salve.”

“The brown jar?” the girl asked.

“The blue one. It’s on the shelf in my workroom,” he informed, and the girl rushed off again. Then he regarded us. “I’m going to need both of you to keep your brother in this position while I remove the weapon. He may very well wake up once I start, and it’s going to hurt worse than fire.”

Orophin and I nodded, prepared for anything we had to do in order to see that Haldir lived. The girl returned with the jar and the other things Eymund asked for and he prepared to get to work.

“What is in the jar?” Orophin asked.

“It is a cauterizing solution. It will essentially burn the wound and seal the skin to keep him from bleeding. That’s my main worry, that he might lose too much blood once the hatchet is removed. I’ll have to work quickly.”

“We’re ready,” I said.

Eymund stuffed half of the rags along Haldir’s back, to soak up the spilled blood. He had the girl open and hold the blue jar, and a rag to dip it in. Then he looked up at my brother and me. “Here we go.”

The healer started moving the hatchet, and I could see it slowly coming out of the skin. Just as he predicted, the wound started bleeding profusely, dark red blood trickling down Haldir’s back. More pulling and more blood, and Haldir started to wake, moaning. I took hold of his legs and Orophin had his arms. The more the doctor worked, the more Haldir screamed. He tried using his arms, but Orophin wouldn’t let go. “It’s alright, Haldir. It’s me, Orophin. You are with a healer. He’s helping you, but you can’t thrash around or you’ll injure yourself further.”

Haldir didn’t seem to hear, and he kept screaming in pain. I watched as Eymund finally released the weapon, and the wound gushed blood. The doctor took the rag from the girl and dipped it into the blue jar. Then he applied the opaque salve carefully to the edges of the wound. Haldir screamed as I’d never heard him before. I could hardly stand to hear his agony, but I knew it was for his own good. Luckily, he was too much in pain to kick his legs, but I still held onto them tightly.

“Almost there,” Eymund informed.

Suddenly, Haldir started convulsing. His eyes rolled up until only the whites showed, and his body shook violently. “What is wrong with him?” I asked desperately.

“Shit, he’s going into shock,” Eymund said. “Keep him on his side in case he regurgitates. We don’t want it going into his lungs.” At this point, Haldir started gasping for air. “He needs to stay calm.”

I abandoned my position at his legs and went to where Orophin stood holding his arms. The cot was low to the ground, so I got on my knees and put my mouth to Haldir’s ear. “You must hold on, brother. Orophin and I are here. There is a very good healer trying to save you, but you must calm yourself.” It wasn’t working. He was still shaking uncontrollably. I continued. “Do you remember when we were young, and Orophin and I were playing in that old oak tree just outside the gates of Caras Galadhon? We were daring each other to do tricks, but we took it too far, and I fell. Orophin rushed back to get you, and by the time you arrived, I was a sobbing mess. I thought I’d broken my arm. I thought I’d shattered it to the point that I’d never be able to hold a bow again. I was in a complete panic, gasping for air, tears streaking down my face. And you laid down on the ground next to me and whispered in my ear that I must calm myself, to not let the pain control me. You told me to talk to the pain, bully it, tell it who was in charge. I’m asking … no … I’m telling you to do that now. It will be over soon, but you must get in control of the pain. Don’t let it overtake you.” I went on encouraging him, reminding him of the things our father had taught us, and how useful those lessons have been. I must have gotten through to him because his breathing, though still rapid was returning to normal. His muscles, which were tense, were beginning to relax and the shaking was only in short bursts. This was only the beginning of his treatment, though. Right now, Eymund was only trying to stop or slow down the bleeding. He still had to examine the wound, clean it and suture it. I hoped that was all he had to do. We would know more once he saw the wound more closely.

Outside of the main hall, there was all kinds of commotion going on. People were yelling and giving out commands. I could hear wood splitting, and I knew the orcs were still trying to gain entry. I felt torn all of a sudden. I should be at the main gate helping to keep it protected. But I knew I needed to be with Haldir too. He was in a very fragile state. There was still a chance that he might die, and I would never forgive myself if I wasn’t with him. I looked up at Orophin and saw the same conflict on his face.

“Our men, they know what to do. They will have gone to where they were most needed by now,” I told him.

“I know. It’s just … I feel so useless right now,” he admitted.

“We are here for Haldir, and that’s where we’re needed most,” I assured him. He smiled, understanding my meaning.

I had no idea how much time had passed before the healer was finally able to examine the wound, but it felt like hours. Haldir was very uncomfortable, but he stayed calm. Eventually, Eymund had news. “The cut is deep, but I don’t see any air escaping. That means his lungs weren’t harmed. However, a lot of muscle and tissue has been affected. He’s lost a lot of blood too, despite my best efforts. I don’t think he’s going to wake up for quite a while.”

“He will most likely delve into a healing sleep. It is how an elvish body repairs itself, how it protects itself from any further damage,” Orophin informed him.

“That’s probably a good thing then. Because of the depth of the wound, I can’t close it up all the way. I will have to slowly work on it, and try to repair as much of the muscle as possible so that he is not left vulnerable. We are not in the clear yet. There is still a possibility of infection. As of right now, there is a very slim chance of him recovering from this. Should he suffer another attack of shock, it just might be his last. His body can’t handle it.” Eymund was being completely honest and giving Orophin and me a chance to prepare ourselves for losing our brother. “Now,” he continued. “I have secured a private room for him and, Béma willing, if we are not overrun by orcs, I’ll be able to care for him there.”

Between the three of us, we managed to move Haldir, cot and all, to the room Eymund spoke of. It was nothing more than a store room, emptied of its contents, and probably taken to the caves. We found a couple candles and a lantern to light the room. Orophin found a chair, and I took an empty barrel, left abandoned in a neighboring room, to use as a table. The healer left to get more supplies to keep in the room with Haldir. While he was gone, Orophin and I spoke.

“He seems comfortable for now,” he observed.

“He’s entered healing sleep,” I commented.

“I know Eymund is doing all he can, but I think Haldir would be better off in Lothlórien with our own healers. At least there they will know what to do for him.”

“I’m not sure they will be able to do anything different there than what Eymund is doing. Besides, we can’t exactly leave right now, or have you forgotten that there is a war going on outside.”

Orophin huffed, knowing I was right. “What do you think is going on out there?”

“Sounds like the orcs are still trying to get into the keep.” I looked towards the door and back at Orophin. “You know, there is no need for both of us to be here. At least one of us should go and see what we can do. I’ll go. I need to see to my men. It’s been hours since I checked it.”

Orophin nodded. “Alright,” he agreed.

I realized that I no longer had my bow, having left it back at the courtyard. It was no use thinking about it. That area was no doubt overrun by orcs now. I had my sword and a dagger that I kept in my boot. It would have to do. I looked back at Haldir. “If anything happens, anything at all–”

“I’ll send for you. Don’t worry,” Orophin assured me.

I nodded and reached for the door, but just as I did the great bellow of a horn sounded. It was the battle horn of the Hornburg. I threw the door open and was met by a mob of Rohirrim all rushing from the keep and heading for the main gate. I stopped one of them. “What is happening?”

“The sun rises and King Théoden rides out to meet his men,” the man said excitedly.

“His men? You mean his army has arrived?”

“Yes, and they are led by Gandalf. The orcs are said to be retreating.” He didn’t wait for me to ask any more questions, and ran off with the rest of his people.

I turned back to Orophin. “They are here. Gandalf has brought Eomer and his garrison.”

“Thank the Valar,” Orophin said under his breath.

Eymund came to the door, a smile upon his tired face. “Have you heard?”

“Yes, help has finally arrived,” I said.

“Why don’t you both go and see for yourselves. I’ve got work to do here. Time for another round of medicine,” Eymund suggested.

Orophin and I looked at each other. We weren’t sure that both of us should leave, but Eymund insisted that we go. I grasped my brother’s shoulder. “We won’t be far, but we should go so that we can be witnesses, and tell Haldir how the battle ended.” Orophin finally agreed and we both left.

The main gate was broken from its hinges, splintered wood scattered everywhere. The Rohirrim were gone from this area. Those with horses rode out with their King. Those without followed on foot. The main hall was still being used for the injured, only now, our people were there, helping wherever they were needed, weapons and armor laid along the walls. They had stayed and helped to protect the keep, but now that the Rohirrim army had arrived, the elves turned to the injured. This was no longer our war. Saruman set out to destroy Rohan, and it was the Rohirrim who would end the battle.

Orophin and I separated and walked around the room, checking on men from our regiments, speaking with the injured, comforting where we could, saying a silent prayer for those in dire need. I didn’t see Aragorn, Gimli or Legolas anywhere, and I stopped one of my officers to inquire. I was told that the three of them rode out beside King Théoden to meet the enemy. “They said they weren’t going to stop riding until they met Eomer and Gandalf on the field,” he said.

After finding that our people were being cared for, Orophin and I went to the open doorway and stood on the causeway. It was empty except for the great wolf’s head battering ram, abandoned by the enemy as they fled from battle. I took a moment to notice the craftsmanship of the weapon, and wondered how long it would take to disassemble and destroy it.

“Rúmil, come! Look at this!” Orophin called to me. He had gone on ahead and was looking out over the distance. I joined him by his side and watched the chaos transpiring in the valley below.

When this battle started, we were outnumbered. Now, the Rohirrim were the dominant army. There were a few places where small fights were still going on, but most of the orcs were running away from Helm’s Deep heading towards a—

“Is that a … forest?” I asked disbelievingly.

“It appears to be,” Orophin said, sounding just as dumbfounded. “That wasn’t there when we arrived, was it?”

“No. There’s not supposed to be a forest here. But where did–” Words failed me as I watched Théoden’s men round up the remaining orcs, but the creatures ran for the trees. The horsemen stopped and let them go. “What are they doing?” I wondered aloud.

It wasn’t until all the orcs escaped into the trees that I realized what was happening, but I could hardly believe it. The trees came to life, bending and growling. Orc’s screams could be heard as far as where we stood. It was a slaughter.

“Fangorn forest,” I whispered.

“Fangorn?” Orophin said.

“The tree herders, Ents. They’ve come to help. They … they are angry,” I said. I could hear what they were saying, the words that made it to my ears, anyways.

“You understand them,” Orophin said, amazed at my talent, as though he didn’t know.

“They are demanding that the wizard Saruman be turned over to them. He … hurt them … hurt their friends and family … destroyed their home. They want restitution. They want Saruman’s head.” After a while, the screams stopped and the forest calmed. I felt a chill rise up through my spine. “Fangorn should be avoided for a long time. The trees have gone wild. Not even the elves will be safe there now. Those trees have lost all trust.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Orophin said, still gazing out over the distance.

We heard footsteps and turned to find the red headed girl running towards us. My heart immediately dropped. “You must come this instant,” she said urgently.

“What is it?” Orophin asked, but we were already running back to the keep.

“Haldir is having another episode,” she said.

We were there in a flash, charging into the small room to find Eymund desperately trying to keep Haldir from injuring himself. His arms were flailing, eyes rolled up into his head again, drooling and making such horrible gasping noises. Orophin and I ran to him to help hold him so Eymund could do whatever he needed to do.

“He was resting peacefully when all of a sudden his body started convulsing again. His breathing is not right. I fear there’s fluid in his lungs,” Eymund informed.

During the struggle, Haldir had managed to roll onto his back. Orophin and I got him onto his side, and I noticed the blood on the cot. The wound was bleeding again, and he’d already lost so much blood. Suddenly he went stiff, his body contorting at odd angles. It was called a seizure, I knew that by now, and there was nothing to do for him until he came out of it. And then … he went limp. He completely stopped moving.

Orophin was closest to Haldir’s head and bent down to listen, his face going pale. “He’s not breathing. Eymund, he stopped breathing.”

“Put him on his back,” Eymund demanded.

“But the wound–”

“That’s the least of our worries. Do as I say … now!”

Orophin and I turned him, and Eymund began pushing on Haldir’s chest with his hands, in sharp quick pumps. “What are you doing?” I asked. I’d never seen this before.

“It’s something I saw done to a boy once, after he was found floating in a pond. It gets the water out of the lungs.” Eymund stopped pushing and went to Haldir’s head, tilting it back. He pinched the nose and covered my brother’s mouth with his own. I watched as Haldir’s chest rose. Eymund was putting air into my brother, essentially breathing for him. He switched back to the chest, and then to the mouth a few more times, cursing as he did. Suddenly, Haldir started choking. He was alive.

“Quick, turn him onto his side,” Eymund said, and we did so.

Finally, Haldir started coughing up liquid and mucus. He started breathing on his own. The episode brought him around, and he opened his eyes. It was the first I’d seen him conscious since falling in the courtyard.

“Haldir,” I whispered. “Hal, are you with us?”

“I’m … alive?” he asked confused.

“Yes … yes you are,” I said with a smile.

“Good,” he replied. “I had the worst dream.”

“You are safe now, though you need to heal,” Orophin said.

“Do you remember anything?” Eymund asked.

Haldir looked at me, and then to Orophin. “You two were hugging. You’d finally made amends. And then … there was this sharp pain … in my back … and–” He cut his words short.

“You were struck in the back by a hatchet. There is a large gaping wound that will take a long time to heal,” I told him.

“Haldir, I am going to need to give you something to help you sleep. I have to do some extensive repair to the wound, and I don’t think you want to be conscious for it,” Eymund said.

“Do you think that is wise?” Orophin asked. “He’s just come out of a sleep that almost killed him.”

“It is the only way to do this. To work on him without some kind of medication will be too much for him. I don’t want him going into shock,” Eymund said, defending his decision.

“I don’t agree with this,” Orophin argued. “I think he should be transported back to Lothlórien.”

“Eymund has already said it is too far, and his condition is too delicate at this point,” I told my stubborn brother.

While we argued, I heard Haldir mumble something, but I ignored it for the moment. I felt I needed to defend this man for all he’d done to help Haldir so far.

“Lórien is his best chance for healing properly,” Orophin demanded.

“He needs to stay here until he is stable enough to travel,” I argued in return.

“Rúmil is right,” Eymund said defending me. “To move him now–”

“Hey!” Haldir yelled with what little energy he had. During our argument, he had been trying to get our attention, but we disregarded his pleas, finding our disagreement more important. We stopped and all three of us turned to Haldir. “This man … is … correct,” he said, short of breath. “I’ll not … be going … anywhere … yet.” He turned his attention to me, looking me squarely in the eyes. Something was wrong, I could tell.

“What is it, Hal?” I asked, taking his hand.

There was fear and confusion on his countenance. I’d never seen him look this way before, and it scared me. And then a single tear escaped from the corner of his eye. “My … legs … I … I can’t … I can’t feel my legs.” Haldir lost consciousness at that point, and we were all left dumbfounded.


	17. Chapter 17

The men returned to the keep victorious. The women and children came out of the caves to look for loved ones. There were happy reunions, fathers, brothers, husbands and uncles reunited with family. There were also a lot of tears shed when some found out that their men would not be returning. I felt as though I was in between those two different outcomes. Haldir was alive at the moment, though unconscious, but he was not safe from injury. There was a chance it still might take his life. I felt numb at the thought of not knowing. At least these people knew one way or the other.

After King Théoden returned to the stronghold, and learned of my brother’s dire situation, he insisted that Haldir be taken to one of his private chambers. My brother would have insisted that he be treated amongst all the other injured, but he wasn’t awake to argue the point, and I rather liked the idea of a quiet place for him to lay, and a place for me and Orophin to sit in silence. Helm’s Deep was as busy as a bee’s hive.

Legolas and the others had come to see Haldir and say a prayer over him, but they still had work to do. The battle at the Hornburg had been won, but there was still a wizard on the loose, Nazgûl searching for a hobbit who held their master’s weapon, and Sauron himself to be dealt with. Everyone took a short reprieve while Gandalf thought of what to do next. At least it gave Legolas and I some time to spend together.

It was undecided what the elves would do, either to go back to Lothlórien, to stay at the Hornburg, or to split the troops up, sending some to each place. A lot depended upon what the Rohirrim would do. Helm’s Deep, even with its depleted wall, was still a fairly safe place to be, safer than Edoras, with its thatched roofs and situated out in the open. There was still a chance that Saruman would retaliate, and the elves didn’t want to leave the Rohirrim open to attack. There had been talk of the main army leaving for Gondor, which some suspected to be the next target of attack. I had confirmation, overhearing King Théoden that he did not feel obliged to go to Gondor, since they had not come to his aid. For now, all we could do was wait and see.

Eymund had been successful in beginning the treatment of Haldir’s wound. The bleeding had been slowed, and the wound cleansed of dirt and damaged tissue that could cause infection. That wasn’t my biggest worry anymore. What bothered me, as well as Orophin and the healer, was Haldir’s claim to have no feeling in his lower extremities. For Haldir’s privacy, until he himself could come to terms with it, I’d asked that no one mention this to anyone. Right now, only me, Orophin, Eymund and the girl knew about his condition. We prayed that it was only temporary, but we wouldn’t know for sure until Haldir awoke. 

Orophin was off discussing plans with the other elf Captains, and Legolas sat with me while I kept watch over Haldir. “Does he still talk of taking him home?” Legolas asked. I had told him about Orophin’s plan to get Haldir back to Lothlórien to be treated by our elvish healers.

“He’s been very insistent, but I don’t think Haldir should be moved right now. We have to pass over some rough terrain. It would not be good to shake him about so soon after surgery.” I had argued with Orophin on more than one occasion about this, but he was hard headed as a ram. “What about you? What will you do now?”

Legolas shifted in his seat. “We are waiting for Gandalf to make up his mind.” He shook his head with frustration. “I never knew wizards took so long to make a decision. However, a message came. The Ents have Saruman trapped in his own tower at Orthanc. Gandalf has told them not to kill him … yet. I think he waits to see what King Théoden wishes to do, since the attack was upon him and his people.”

I heard what Legolas was saying, but my mind was thinking of a way to tell him that our plans to live in Mirkwood might not happen now. I hesitated to say anything before because I hadn’t even given Haldir an answer. I never imagined anything would happen to him. Now, if he passed from this world, would I take up the March warden position, and abandon my plans with Legolas? I sensed how badly Haldir wanted me to agree, and still, I managed to escape giving him an answer. Even if I refused the position, and he chose Orophin or someone else, could I leave Lothlórien and my paralyzed brother behind? I didn’t think I could do that to our family. If ever there was a time they needed me it was now.

I was sitting in a chair closest to Haldir, Legolas sitting in one next to me, angled to face me. I leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees, and considered how to begin this conversation. “Legolas,” I started. “There’s something I need to discuss with–” I stopped short when there came a knock on the door.

Legolas touched my knee, as if to say, hold that thought, and called, “Come in.”

The girl with red hair came in with a tray. “My lord, King Théoden sends you something to eat.” She came into the room and set the tray on a table. “I’m afraid it’s not much, but it was all I could gather up on such short notice.” The tray held a loaf of bread, a wedge of cheese and a carafe of wine.

Legolas stood and went to the girl, looking over the tray. “This is a very generous meal. Tell the King we are grateful for his hospitality.” Legolas held his hand out to the girl, and she gave him her own. He held her fingers lightly, brought her hand to his lips and laid a gentle kiss upon her knuckles. “And I thank you, my lady, for all you have done.”

She smiled shyly, her cheeks turning red making the freckles across her nose deepen in color. “I’ve done nothing really, my lord.”

“Nothing?” he said with a smile. “You were the first to help my friends when they were in need. That is not nothing where I come from.”

I watched as she shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head, eyelashes sweeping across her smiling cheeks. I hadn’t noticed until now, but this girl was truly smitten with Legolas. And it was no wonder to me that she was. He was always very charming when she was around.

“I’m glad I could be of help, my lord,” she responded, looking hopeful of more time to spend with him, but another knock on the door drew his attention away.

A messenger was sent, summoning Legolas to meet with his companions for discussions, probably about plans for their next move. Legolas apologized to the girl for having to leave so soon, and then turned to me with a wink. “Save me some wine, Captain. I hope to return shortly, and you can finish what it was you were about to tell me.” He followed the messenger from the room.

The girl was still smiling, lost in her own little world before realizing she was still on duty. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to … I should be going.”

“Won’t you stay for a bit?” I invited. “Have you eaten yet yourself?”

She shook her head. “Not yet. I’ve been too busy helping Eymund.”

“I shall have to have words with him before he works you to bones.” I was only jesting, but she didn’t understand my humor, and looked terrified.

“Oh, Captain, please don’t do that. He really isn’t that strict. It’s just that I’ve been–”

I interrupted to save her an explanation. “I apologize. I was only joshing, but I see I shouldn’t have.” I gestured to the empty chair. “Sit for a spell if you can spare some time. I’d like the company, and there’s no telling how long it will be before Legolas comes back. Please break bread with me. You’ve brought more than enough.”

She turned back to look at the door, and then to the chair. “Alright, but I cannot stay long.” I stood and waited for her to take a seat before I sat back down. She looked out of place and not but a little nervous. “I apologize. I’m not used to such chivalry. Tell me, are all elves like this?”

“I’ve never given it much thought. This is just how we are raised, how we are taught to treat each other with respect.” I laughed. “I can be less chivalrous if it will make you more comfortable.”

The girl laughed in response and instantly the awkwardness began to dissipate. I broke a piece of bread from the loaf and offered it to her, which she accepted thankfully. I myself poured half a glass of wine and took a piece of cheese to nibble on. Then something occurred to me. “You know, my lady, we have seen each other multiple times, though the circumstances have not been under the best of conditions, and I do not even know your name.”

“I am Rakelwyn, third daughter of Wulfred and Mildwynn,” she introduced herself.

“It is very nice to officially meet your, Rakelwyn,” I said, and we started a simple conversation. She seemed very interested in elves, but that was no surprise. Most people who had never met an elf before tended to have many questions. I didn’t mind, and it helped to pass the time, as well as get my thoughts off my brother for a while. He was still in a deep sleep, but he’d had no more seizures.

“I’m told that Legolas is not from Lothlórien … that he is a Wood elf,” she said at one point.

“That is true,” I answered.

“The elders tell stories of the Wood elves, but he seems nothing like those elves.. “He is very polite and well-mannered for a savage.” She smiled dreamily. “He is also very handsome,” she added as an afterthought. 

I couldn’t help but laugh at her statement. “You are not the only one with those misguided ideas of the Wood elves. Once upon a time, I thought the same thing, that they were dangerous, murderous even.”

“Have you ever been to Mirkwood?” Rakelwyn asked with astonishment.

“I have and quite frankly, I cannot wait to return.”

“I thought it was dark and sinister,” she wondered.

“Well, yes, parts of the Rhovanion are wild and dangerous, but the city itself is a marvel.” I reminisced about Legolas’ home and the time I’d spent there. I told Rakelwyn about the Elven King and his treasure, about the grand throne room with its tall stone pillars, and about many other unique things there.

“I can tell that you like it there very much,” she smiled.

“I do,” I whispered, wondering if I would ever see it again. “It might be a very long time before I go back though,” I said, looking at my sleeping brother.

“I … I hope his affliction is only temporary,” Rakelwyn said, her voice breaking with emotion. She stood and went to Haldir, rearranging his blanket and moving a tendril of hair from his temple. “Is there someone waiting for him back in Lothlórien?”

“No, I don’t believe so. Haldir leads a very quiet and nondescript life outside of the army. I guess his first love is the military, you could say.

“What about you?” Rakelwyn asked, very curiously.

I smiled and looked at my folded hands in my lap. I nodded as I thought about him. “Yes, there is someone, but not in Lothlórien.”

She came back and sat in her chair, eyes full of wonder, youth, and hope. “Ah, that is why you wish to go back to Mirkwood,” she guessed eagerly. “She is a Wood elf, then?”

I didn’t know what the Rohirrim’s ideals were when it came to love between same sexes, but I had a feeling it was frowned upon. I decided not to answer with words or reveal too much about myself and nodded my reply.

Rakelwyn narrowed her eyes at me, trying to read my body language. “And I’m guessing your relationship would not be accepted by your Lórien kin. Why don’t you go and be with your love in Mirkwood?”

“I was planning to do just that, but now . . .” I glanced at Haldir. “For my brother’s sake, I don’t think I can go.”

“I am sorry to hear this,” she said with sincerity. Then she smiled, her fantasies already guiding her to the next thought. “It sounds like Mirkwood is much more accepting than other elvish communities.”

“I think they are. They are cut off from places such as Lothlórien and Rivendell. They live by their own set of rules.”

Rakelwyn stood again, and went to a shelf that held some books. She ran her finger along their spines, taking notice of a thin layer of dust that had recently settled. She didn’t seem to be able to stay in one spot for very long, but then, she was only in her teens. Humans at that age had an unlimited amount of energy. “Do they–” she paused, unsure whether she should ask, but curiosity was too much for her. “If they are more lenient in their rules about relationships with elves outside of their community, then how do you think they feel about relationships outside of their own race?”

Well, that threw me. I wasn’t prepared for such a bold question. “Now you are looking at a much different and very difficult situation, my lady.”

“There have been couples of mixed race before, have there not? I mean, there was Luthien and Beren. She was an elf, he was a man.”

“Yes, and their relationship was filled with struggle and suffering, not very romantic when you think about it. Of course there are some exceptions to the rule, but–”

“But it has happened before, so there is always a possibility of it happening again,” she interrupted.

“I … reckon it could, but … it’s highly unlikely,” I answered as I watched her closely. “Rakelwyn,” I said to gain her attention. She looked at me with a closed lip smile. “Would your line of questioning have anything to do with Legolas?”

Her smile disappeared, and she turned from me before I could see her face flush with embarrassment. She shrugged her shoulders, and slowly turned from the bookshelf to face me. “I can’t help it. He’s just so handsome and kind and … and he’s always so nice to me.” She came back to the chair and collapsed like a sail that had lost its wind. “It’s foolish of me to even wish it, I know, but … well … I’ve never … felt this way before.” She was very brave to admit this to me.

So, young Rakelwyn was smitten with Legolas. I had already guessed it, but I didn’t know the extent of her infatuation. I could understand it completely. I too had once felt giddy at the thought of Legolas actually finding interest in me, even though I tried to hide the fact. “Your first time falling in love. Well, from what I know of humans, this is a very big step towards adulthood.”

“Mama says that in a couple years I will be married and starting a family. Da says he already knows who he thinks would be a good match for me. All I want is to be in love with whomever I marry. I don’t want to do it just because I have to or because I am of age.”

“I completely agree with you on that. Marriage should be for love, if nothing more. It is forever, the bond between two lovers.”

“Is that how it is for elves?” she asked.

“Even more so because of our immortality. Once a bond has been made, a true bond, one between not only the heart, but the soul as well, it cannot be broken except in death. Even then, the surviving elf could fade of loneliness.”

“Wow,” she said, looking at me with her big brown eyes. “Now that is romantic.” She sighed and looked over at Haldir. “That is the kind of love I wish for.”

“Perhaps you will find what you seek, my lady, but I do not think you’ll find it with Legolas. Besides the fact that he is an elf, he is also a Prince, and he is much, much older than you,” I said with a smile.

“How old is he?” she wondered.

“He is more than three millennia.”

She regarded me with a dropped jaw expression. “Wow.”

“And how old are you?” I asked.

“I’m fourteen.” She slouched in her chair and sighed again. “And I thought the boy Da wants me to marry was old. He is eighteen.”

I laughed. “Well eighteen is quite old to someone your age, I assume. But you are young yet. Enjoy your youth, and do not worry about marriage just yet. Tell your parents about your wish to find true love … with a human, of course,” I added.

“I guess I’ve known all along that it would never work with Legolas, but in dreams. Besides, I’m sure, at his age, he’s already met and fallen in love with his forever soulmate,” she commented.

I smiled and nodded, but internally, I was wondering the same thing. Was that what Legolas and I had found with one another? Our love for each other was true without a doubt, but were we really connected by our very souls? If he died in this war, would I fade? Would he if something happened to me? We had never discussed our relationship on this level, yet I was ready to run off to Mirkwood to be with him. Did that mean I was willing to gift him with my soul? Once given away, it could never be given to another, and if his soul ceased to exist, mine would die along with his. Was that how much I loved Legolas?

“I should go now. I’m sure there are a thousand things I need to do, and someone will be looking for me to do them,” Rakelwyn said. “Thank you for the bread, Captain.”

“You are very welcome, Rakelwyn, and please call me Rúmil from now on,” I smiled.

She nodded and smiled in return. “Alright, Rúmil. Until next time.” She left closing the door gently behind her.

* * * * *

The next day, Orophin was sitting with Haldir, and I was finding my reprieve on the Deeping Wall. I hadn’t been there since the night of the battle, and I wanted to see the destruction in the daylight. I was amazed that more people weren’t killed. The wall was completely destroyed in that one section. I wondered what had been used to make such a weapon that it could blast through solid stone as thick as this. It had to be something very powerful, something much stronger than cannon fire. It wasn’t a cannon, though. I knew this for I had glimpsed part of the device. It was something that they placed in the culvert and ignited using a torch. I hoped that was the only one like it, and that the recipe for this weapon of destruction would be lost forever.

“Rúmil,” Legolas called from behind, and I turned, a smile instantly spreading on my face.

“There you are. I haven’t seen you since yesterday and I was beginning to wonder,” I said. I would give anything to be able to take him in my arms, but we were in plain view on top of the wall.

“The meetings went well into the night, and by the time they were done, you had already retired for the evening. I didn’t want to disturb you.” He cocked his head to the side and looked around the area. “It is quite a sight, isn’t it?”

“Like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” I commented.

“How is Haldir?”

“Still unconscious. It has been three days now. Eymund says he wants to perform another surgery on the wound. More tissue has to be cleaned to prevent infection. How did your meetings go?” I asked.

He lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes, as if looking at something far in the distance. “King Théoden wants to ride to Isengard and personally deliver the punishment awarded to Saruman for his crimes against Rohan. He has taken this quite personally.”

“Who can blame him, especially after being under the wizards spell, nothing more than a puppet on a throne? I’m surprised he doesn’t want his head on a spike.”

“That was one of the things discussed last night. Aragorn talked Théoden out of it though.”

I looked at Legolas unbelievingly, and he was laughing. “Well, maybe not on a spike,” he said.

“Who will go to Isengard with the King?” I asked.

“Eomer and a few of his captains, Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli, me . . .” He paused to wait for my reaction.

“Of course you will be there.” I didn’t mean anything by it, but my words came out sounding a little disappointed.

“We want to represent all the realms, and make Saruman realize that his crimes were not only against Rohan, but all of Middle-earth. And I do not trust him. Gandalf says that even though he is trapped, he is still very dangerous. He can still use his staff, which the Ents could not take away from him. And the power of suggestion is one of Saruman’s biggest weapons. I am immune to his words, and my arrows can reach far if need be.” He moved close to me, but kept gazing at the valley below. “I would like it if you could come with us, though I know you cannot leave Haldir.”

“I wish I could too, but you are right, I cannot,” I said, discouraged.

We stood silent upon the wall, neither one able to make a move for fear of being seen. I hated this. I found that I disliked it more and more as time went by, but there was nothing I could do about it. Suddenly, Legolas walked over to the set of stone steps that led to the ruined yard below. “Have you seen this yet?” he asked, and jumped down to the first unbroken step.

“Have I seen what?” I asked with great curiosity.

“This,” he said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You can’t see it if you stay up there. Jump down,” he called up to me.

I didn’t know what in the world he was talking about, but I carefully leapt down to join him. “What is it?”

“This,” he said as he pushed me against the wall and kissed me roughly. His hands wandered down my sides, coming to rest at my hips, fingers gathering the material of my tunic as he pulled me to him. His mouth assaulted mine, tongue searching and finding entry as my answer. By the gods, it felt so good to be with him, and luckily, the stairs were situated so that they were hidden from view of the keep where everyone was gathered. There weren’t many elves or men outside right now anyways, making our private moment easier to enjoy.

His fingers slid under the edge of my tunic finding the flesh of my stomach. They were very warm and set me to flame. His lips moved to caress my ear, and then my neck, leaving me feeling light enough to float.

“Sleep with me tonight,” he pleaded between kisses. “I need to be with you, Rúmil. I don’t care where. I’ll have you in the horse’s stalls if that’s what it takes. I just need to lay with you, to have you all to myself, if just for an hour.”

I had been pondering this earlier, and I knew just the place. “The tower is abandoned now. There won’t be anyone up there, and there shouldn’t be any threat of someone disturbing us.”

“When,” he breathed heavily in my ear before taking it in his mouth.

“After dark. I’ll come for you.” I cupped him through his leggings. We kissed another moment, wantonly, needing each other badly. Then we forced ourselves to separate before we could not resist temptation any longer.

He rest his forehead against mine and smiled. “I cannot wait for the day when we do not have to worry or hide. I should be able to kiss you whenever and wherever I want.”

I wanted that too, but was that even a possibility anymore? I still hadn’t talked to him about Haldir’s offer for me to become March warden. I still wasn’t sure about Haldir’s condition or if this offer would come to light. I didn’t know much of anything right now, except that I just needed one night alone with my lover, free from worry and decision. I just needed to be myself for a while.

The rest of the day passed slowly, minutes feeling like hours, the sun taking its time to sink below the distant hills. After meeting with Legolas earlier in the day, I packed a bag with blankets and a bottle of wine, and set it on the floor next to the door of Haldir’s room. I’d spent the rest of my time sitting with my healing brother, hoping that he would wake soon. I’d spoken to Orophin, and told him that I would take up sleeping somewhere else for the night. I didn’t give any more information, and he did not ask, but I think he assumed my intentions. He agreed and we left it at that.

Eymund had cleansed the wound earlier, and it was a success. There was no infection, and he even noted new growth of tissue. He was amazed at how quickly it had begun, and I explained to him that elves were able to heal quicker than humans. He had been keeping Haldir on some kind of medicine that helped him stay in this suspended state, but tomorrow he would stop giving it to him. Eymund wanted Haldir to have complete charge over his restfulness. If it was time for him to wake, then he would.

The sun had set, and Orophin came into Haldir’s room quietly, a bottle of wine in one hand and a book in the other, ready to settle in and take watch for the night. “How is he?” he asked in a whisper.

“No changes since you’ve seen him last. Not even a twitch of an eyelid.”

“That is good though, isn’t it?” he wondered, taking a seat in the chair next to me.

“Normally, yes, but I am worried about the use of his legs. You know as well as I that there are some injuries we cannot come back from,” I said concerned.

“Let’s just pray for him to wake up first. We’ll deal with the other once we know for certain this is his affliction.”

As I sat here today, keeping watch over Haldir, I thought a lot about what he’d asked of me. He had said in the event of his death, he would want me to take up his March warden position, but he hadn’t died. As a matter of fact, he seemed almost sure that death would be his outcome from the battle. He was not completely healed either, but every day he improved beyond Eymund’s expectations, and for a complication to occur now, well, the odds were looking rather slim.

“Orophin?” I asked. “Have you ever had a premonition?”

He stretched to put his book on the side table. “About what?”

“Have you ever felt that your next battle would be your last?”

He huffed a cynical laugh. “Every time I raise my sword to the enemy. But I make sure that it does not turn towards my foe’s favor.”

“I know what you speak of, but that is not what I meant. Have you ever … seen something or … dreamed something that you were sure would come true?”

“The only time that has ever happened was when I dreamt that Satya would one day be mine, and now she is,” he smiled.

I could see he thought I was overthinking things, and decided to ask another question. “If it is true that Haldir will not walk again, and another must be appointed to the March warden’s position, have you ever considered–”

“Let me save you your breath, brother,” he interrupted me. “Haldir and I discussed this a while ago. He told me that he was going to ask you, and wanted to make sure it would cause no animosity between us. He explained his reasons for choosing you, and I agreed with him. You would be the better choice.” He spoke honestly and from the heart. That was only a small relief to me, and I was glad he felt this way, but it didn’t make my decision whether to take up this position or not any easier.

I bowed my head and looked at my lap. “I never gave him my answer. I told him there was no reason to worry, that nothing would happen to him. And now, here he lays in a healing sleep.”

“You can tell him when he wakes up,” Orophin reassured me, but he wasn’t considering the fact that I might not want that position. I chose not to say anything more about it, and instead, I wished him a good night and left with my bag.

* * * * *

Legolas was in the King’s meeting chamber, standing by the hearth, speaking with Gimli. They each had a mug in their hand, and they were swapping stories with one another. Aragorn was talking to Gandalf on the opposite side of the room. Eomer and a couple of his men were playing a game of dice to pass the time. I didn’t enter the room, and as I passed the open doorway, I paused to gain Legolas’ attention. He caught my movement out of the corner of his eye, and said something to Gimli, who took his mug. The dwarf knew about Legolas and me, and I wondered if Legolas would use him to keep the others from wondering about his absence for the evening. Everyone seemed relaxed, though. The discussions were done for the day. Now it was their personal time to be spent as they saw fit, and for Legolas, that time would be spent in secret with me.

I continued walking slowly away from the room before I was noticed by the others, and smiled when I felt Legolas’ presence behind me. “You’re parents let you out to play?” I jested.

“I snuck out,” he answered, playing along. “And it seems I’ve no curfew tonight. How about you?”

“Free until sunrise,” I said.

We walked along the corridor that led to a wooden door and entered. Immediately, there were stairs that led up the tower, and we began our long climb. The stairs spiraled upwards, and it reminded me very much of the stairways that wrapped around the mallorn trees of Lothlórien, if they led up the inside of the trees. There was a slim window every now and then, and we would pause to look out.

“The moon is full tonight,” Legolas observed.

“And the stars are bright,” I said dreamily.

He kissed the side of my neck and whispered. “I just realized that I can’t remember the last time I watched the stars.”

“I do,” I replied. “I see them every time I look at you.”

“Why, Captain, are you trying to seduce me?” he teased.

“That depends. Is it working?” I said.

He kissed me slowly, his lips soft but masculine. “Very much so.”

I started climbing the stairs again without saying another word. Legolas stayed close behind. “How did you know about the tower?” he asked.

“Before coming to Helm’s Deep, we studied drawings of the layout of this place, and I remembered reading a brief, but interesting history of the tower and its horn,” I answered.

“And you thought, ‘Oh how I would like to make love there’?” he jostled.

“You know, it’s a long way down from here,” I responded smartly. “I’d hate for you to come all the way up here only to have to turn around.”

“You wouldn’t do that, now, would you? Surely there is another sort of punishment you can implement upon me, preferably one that you would get some joy out of.”

I laughed and kept climbing. We were almost there. “You see, this is what I like about us. You’re so easy to jest with.”

“It will be like this all the time one day soon,” he mentioned. I could hear the smile upon his lips, but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t think about that now.

The stairs ended at another door, a very slim, but thick and solid wooden door. I turned to Legolas and smiled. “We’re here,” I said and kissed him deep with need. He kissed me back, hands roaming over my arse.

“Let’s get inside,” he pleaded.

I turned and tried the handle. “Oh no,” I said worriedly. “It’s locked.”

“Locked?” he answered. I could hear the desperation in his voice. I’d had him very worked up and his desire to take me was brimming. “Let me try,” he said, moving beside me and trying the handle. “Oh, for Valar’s sake. Why is it locked?” He looked around the small landing. Downwards was nothing but the stairs we’d just climbed, and in front of him was the door. The stone walls were bare, except for a holder to put a torch, which was now occupied by the one we’d brought with us. Panic began to set in. “There’s no key. Why is there no key? And who would keep it locked? What is in there anyways?” He stopped and glanced at me. “Please tell me you have a key.”

I frowned and cocked my head to the side, and as I did, I reached into my tunic and pulled out a small metal skeleton key. I smiled impishly. “Did you really think I’d make us climb all this way and not have a key?”

“You are a wicked, wicked elf, and you will pay for this little show,” he berated.

I smiled proudly and inserted the key into the lock. It turned easily and we heard a loud click. The door opened and we went inside the small room. Legolas took the torch from the wall to light our way. We looked around at our small surroundings. “What is this place?” Legolas asked.

“According to the layout, it was once occupied by the horn blowers. While on duty, he lived up here.” I went to a window and looked out. “He could see very far from this position, and if he saw a threat coming, he would blow a series of short blasts on the horn. Otherwise, it was a long way up the tower, and precious minutes of warning would be wasted. And then, it is said that when Helm Hammerhand rode out to meet the enemy, the horn would sound long and low, shaking the valley below and the knees of Helm’s foes.”

Legolas held the torch over his head and looked around the room. There was a bed frame, but no mattress, a writing desk with a small bookshelf beside it, a small table and chair at which one could eat, and a larger plush chair where one would probably spend most of his time sitting and watching out the window. The room was round like the tower, and in the center was another set of stairs, these crafted from metal, spiraling up to a round hatch in the ceiling.

“The horn must be up there,” I said.

“Let’s have a look,” Legolas suggested. He went up the staircase first, and pushed the hatch open. Then he disappeared. I watched the light from his torch fill the open doorway above. “Oh, Rúmil, you must come up here and see this.”

“Last time you said that, you ravished me,” I teased.

“There’s still time for that, but come and see this view,” he called down to me.

I climbed up, and as I reached the doorway, he held his hand out to help me. I got my bearings and looked around. It was absolutely breathtaking up here. This was the highest point of the tower, and it housed the great battle horn. The bell of the horn was enormous, but it tapered down to a small mouthpiece where the horn blower would put his lips. The body of the horn spiraled around very much like the steps that led up here, and if it was stretched out straight it would probably be several feet long. The dark colored instrument was attached to a base to insure that it would not move or tilt over.

The room itself felt more like a gazebo, with four stone columns and a domed roof to protect the horn from the weather. The rest was open from roof to floor, and it made me slightly weak in the knees to know it was a straight drop down to the ground from the edge. Looking out across the valley, though, I could just about see the curve of the earth where the land was flat, and the snow topped peaks of distant mountains on the other side. “Now I know what the great eagles see,” I said with awe, as I gazed out from my lookout point.

“I feel as though I could touch the stars from here,” Legolas said, looking up into the sky. He was too close to the edge, and he was making me nervous.

“Come back from there, Legolas,” I said automatically.

He looked down and then instantly stepped back. “Long way down, even for an elf,” he said.

We went back to the hatch, and descended the metal ladder, back to the room below. Then we looked around. “Well,” Legolas commented. “I guess it is better than the horse stalls.”

“Definitely more private. No one has been up here for many years,” I said. “The last of the horn blowers died years ago and was never replaced. There has been no sieges on Helm’s Deep in a very long time, not until this battle.”

“And it was Gimli who sounded the horn. I was shocked he had come all the way up here. He has a great fear of heights,” Legolas said.

I looked at the empty bed frame. “Well, it’s a good thing I brought these,” I said, opening my pack and retrieving the blankets. “Maybe if we fold them in half, doubling them up, it won’t be so bad.”

Legolas strode seductively to me and surrounded me with his arms. “I don’t care about that. I would have fucked you on the cold stones steps if I had to. Just being with you is enough for me.” He smiled slyly. “Besides, we might want to consider utilizing that chair at some point this evening.” He leaned in and we kissed, slow at first, and becoming more needing with each moment that passed.

We began undressing each other, tossing our clothes to the side. Finally we were naked, our heated skin making contact. He lowered me onto the blankets, found the small bottle of oil and prepared us. And all the while, I watched him, his muscles rippling beneath his skin, the way his thighs looked resting on either side of mine, and how his cock sprang fully to attention. I sat up on my elbows and smiled at him. “I love you, Legolas.” I don’t know what possessed me to say it at that moment, but it felt right.

“I love you too, Rúmil,” he responded, crawling towards me, laying me down, lifting my legs, teasing, taunting, stretching me … filling me. We made love, but neither one of us lasted long that first time, so wound up with anticipation that we came quickly. But the night was long, and we had each other. That was all that mattered.

The second time was even better. It lasted longer. We enjoyed it more, came harder and louder, laughed in each other’s arms when we had caught our breath. Then we took a break, lying next to each other in the darkness. The torch had gone out a while ago, but the full moon was so bright that it illuminated our hideaway through the window. My leg was draped over his thighs, and I circled one nibble with the tip of my finger. By the gods, he was gorgeous, his muscles toned, and his arms. . . It was my weak point. I loved the arms of an archer, the biceps, and the way the veins stood out along his forearms. I even loved his calloused fingers, the sign of an elf who knew his craft well. And then there was the trail of blond hair that ran from his naval down to his most prized possession. My hand slipped in that direction, running along the soft bristles. Why couldn’t we stay like this forever?

“Are you sure you will not come with me to Isengard? We’ll only be gone a couple days, and we would have a little more freedom to be ourselves than here in the fort. Most of my companions know and accept our relationship, and the Rohirrim, though they might not like or understand it, would not bother us about it.” He stopped to laugh. “Not that we would behave like rutting animals in front of everyone.”

It made me sad to hear him speak this way. Again, I despised having to hide our relationship, mainly because I knew Legolas was used to his freedom. I, on the other hand, was used to secrecy, but I longed for the day to be free with him. And then I thought of Haldir, and that hope began to fade away. “I’m sorry,” I answered, but I was sorry for more than not being able to go to Isengard.

Legolas shifted so that we faced one another. He twirled a piece of my hair and looked deep into my eyes. “What is it, Rúmil? Something is bothering you. Please, tell me.”

“It’s nothing,” I lied.

His thumb touched my lips. “This is not nothing, this frown. Does this have anything to do with what you wanted to say to me yesterday when we were interrupted?”

It did. It had everything to do with it. How could I tell him that our future might not happen now? “I was thinking that these might be our last moments with each other. You’ll be leaving soon. I’ll have to go back to Lothlórien.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the true reason.

“Nothing is forever, Rúmil. Yes, I must finish this journey, and you must see to your brother’s health and return home, but we will be together again.” He gently kissed my forehead. “We have this moment before us to enjoy. Worry about tomorrow when the day is here. Don’t think about this now, love. We are here … together,” he said and smiled deviously. “Naked, wanting, ready.” His seduction was working to make me forget my troubles. “I want you to remember this night every time you think about us. When we are miles apart and wondering what the other is doing, know that I’ll be remembering this moment too, making love to you in this tower.”

I melted to the soothing sound of his voice. “How is it you always know just what to say?” I pushed him so that he was laying on his back, and then I moved to straddle him. “I will cherish this time we’ve had. No matter the distance, you’ll always be within my heart. You are mine, iaun nín, and I love you.” I slid back, lifting myself and lowering my body onto his. My eyes shut and I moaned as he filled me. He brought his knees up, cradling me, and allowing himself to push up and meet my downward thrusts. We moved in rhythm and as I found my ecstasy, he sat up and pulled me against his chest.

“Trust in us. Trust in this. Know that you are all I want, and that I need your love, Rúmil. I will always need you,” he said.


	18. Chapter 18

It had been a glorious night spent in the tower, just me and Legolas making love all night, reassuring each other of our love, and that we would be together when he returned from his journey. Neither one of us could guess how long that would be, but one thing was for certain. Legolas knew he would be back, and that nothing would happen to him. He was confident that no evil could touch him, and I believed it with all my heart, so much so that I did not worry about him. What I did worry about was what he would say when he came back and discovered that I might not be able to leave Lothlórien to be with him in Mirkwood. I still didn’t know that to be a fact yet, but I felt it deep in my gut.

Legolas and I had made our way down the tower, exited the door, and were walking back towards the main hall. The men were gathered around, and Eomer was speaking to them in his Rohirric tongue. Neither Legolas nor I understood their language, but it was obvious he was giving them a passionate speech. These first days after the battle were rather desolate. Many men had died, families were broken, parts of the stronghold was nearly in ruins, and spirits needed lifting. Legolas and I stopped and stood in the back to listen and watch the event before us. I could see the fire returning to their eyes as their heads lifted with pride for their home and their people. Eomer stood tall, his enthusiasm transferring to the men. He was very good at what he was doing, a symbol of hope and strength for a people left broken.

“He is an excellent leader, is he not?” I whispered to Legolas.

“I am impressed. I’ve not had the chance to know him much. Aragorn, Gimli and I met Eomer out on the open plains.” He paused and smiled. “I don’t think he liked us very much. He was very skeptical, and he didn’t trust us for who we said we were. Gimli, of course, being a stubborn and hot-headed dwarf, almost lost his when he insulted the man. Eomer threatened to take it off at his shoulders.”

“What did you do?” I wondered.

“Well, there wasn’t much we could do. We were surrounded by Eomer and his men, the points of their spears close enough to keep us from moving even an inch. But Gimli is my friend, and I’d not let anyone bring harm to him. I raised my bow, pointed my arrow directly at the blond man’s head, and I told him he would die first before I’d let him touch one hair on Gimli’s beard.”

I was astonished by this story. “Are you mad? You would lay down your life for the dwarf? Why?”

“He is my friend. I trust him and I know he would do the same for me,” Legolas answered, turning to me. “It is no different than your perception of Wood elves before you met us and lived amongst my people. Do you remember what you thought of us? But once you were introduced to our ways and found out that we were not the savages you’d always been told we were, you started to understand us and trust us. It was like that for Gimli and I. Our fathers had met once, many years past, and it was not a good meeting. My father, even though he’d had dealings with the dwarves, did not trust them in the least. Gimli’s father felt the same way about elves, and things were made worse when Thranduil imprisoned them.”

“Are you speaking of Bilbo’s dwarves?” I asked.

“The very same,” Legolas replied.

“It’s no wonder you and Gimli disliked each other to begin with. It’s even more amazing that you reconciled your differences.”

“The argument was between our fathers, not us. Gimli had never done anything to wrong me, and I hadn’t done anything to him. Once we realized that, and discovered that the only reason we disliked each other was because of how our father perceived one another, we put aside our differences. After all, we are working together for a common cause. Evil will not be vanquished if those fighting against it cannot learn to get along.”

“Amazing,” I said.

Just then, the rally ended, the men’s spirits renewed, and Eomer looked satisfied with the outcome. He looked to the back and noticed Legolas and I, waved for us to stay, and finished seeing his men off to perform their duties. Finally, he came over to us, a smile adorning his youthful face. “Legolas, there you are. We were wondering where you’d gone off to. Aragorn and Gimli await your arrival. We are leaving for Isengard this morning. My uncle is making a few last minute arrangements, but we should be on our way within the hour.”

Legolas bowed. “Thank you Eomer. I will go and find my companions, but first, allow me to introduce you to Captain Rúmil of the Northern Border Guard of Lothlórien.”

“It is good to meet you, Captain,” Eomer said.

“And you, Eomer.” I gestured to the remaining men scattered around the hall. “You have a way with words. Very impressive speech, and I don’t even speak your language. You are a fine leader to your men. I can see it in their expressions. They trust you, and obviously, they will follow you wherever you lead them.”

Eomer smiled and glanced over his shoulder to the men in the room. “Most of them I’ve known my entire life. Some of them were my teachers. Others are my friends. I’m very proud of them all.” Then, he bowed to me, and when he stood again, he humbled. “I thank you for your help in this battle. I know you lost many elves in the fight, and I understand that your brother, Haldir, paid dearly for his involvement. Words cannot express how grateful I am that you were here for my people. If the elves hadn’t come, I don’t know what might have happened. All of our women and children … I hate to even think of it. My sister was among those in the caves. She and my uncle are all I have left in this world.”

“They are safe now, and not just because of the elves. The Rohirrim saved us all when you broke onto the horizon,” I commented. “It took all of us to earn this victory.”

“Agreed, Captain,” Eomer smiled. “Well, I must go and prepare for our journey to Isengard. And just so you know, you are welcome to stay as long as you like. I’m told our healers have been a great help to your brother, and they will continue to be at your disposal for however long you need them.”

“I thank you, Eomer, and yes, they have been a great asset,” I said with a bow.

Eomer left and Legolas and I continued on until we had to go our separate ways. We stopped at the hall that led to the room where Haldir was. Legolas had to go the opposite direction and locate Aragorn and Gimli. I found that I didn’t want him to go, but I would not say it. He already knew.

“I’ll only be gone for a couple days. It’s not far to Isengard, and we won’t be staying,” he said in a hushed voice.

“You be careful when you meet the wizard. I know you say you are immune to his trickery, but no one really knows the power of the Maia. He’ll fill you head with lies or something altogether worse,” I warned.

“I’ll not let him harm me. I promise.” He shifted and turned towards me, his hand touching my arm. “I’ll see you soon,” he whispered. Then he turned and went on his way. I stood where I was and watched him until he disappeared around the corner, not caring if anyone noticed or not.

Eventually, I turned and went down the hall, stopping outside of Haldir’s door. It was time to change from the elf I was with Legolas into the elf I was around Orophin. When I was ready, I went inside. Orophin was sitting in his usual spot next to the bed, reading a book. He looked up when I entered and closed the book, setting it on the side table. “Hello Rú,” he greeted.

I smiled and nodded towards Haldir. “How is he?”

“He’s beginning to show signs of waking.”

“That’s good,” I said as I sat in the chair next to Orophin.

“Very good. It means we can go home,” Orophin commented.

“As long as Eymund says it is safe,” I reminded him. He wasn’t impressed. “The King’s company is preparing to leave for Isengard. They won’t be gone but a few days. I think we should not leave before they return.” I drew my brows together as I regarded him. “Why are you in such a hurry to be home?”

Orophin glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “Why are you not?” he asked, but I think he knew the reason I wished to stay, at least until the company returned. “We have done what we came here to do. Our help is no longer needed. Now we must get home. We have a duty to attend to.”

“But we should not be so eager to leave if it puts our brother and his health at risk,” I commented.

“Something tells me you are thinking of more than our brother. Do not let your personal life interfere with our commitment to Lórien,” he warned.

“Lothlórien always comes first. You know that,” I argued.

“But do you?”

“What are you saying, Orophin?” I defended.

He sighed and bowed his head. “Look, it is not difficult to see how much you care for Legolas, but I fear you will put your feelings for him above our duty.” He looked at me then, and I saw the concern in his eyes. “We don’t know the extent of Haldir’s injuries. You might be returning to Lórien as the new March warden of the Northern Guard. You need to have a clear head about this, not … fantasizing over something that, you know as well as I, cannot come to light.”

I took great offense to his comment and let him know. “It is statements like that that make elves like me have to keep to the shadows instead of being allowed to lead a normal life. Do you think I’ll be any less of a leader because of my attraction to an ellon? It is no different than your attraction to an elleth. You are not distracted by Satya. So why think that I would be distracted by Legolas?”

“That is not my point.” Orophin stood and walked over to a shelf, mindlessly lifting and setting things down. He was gathering his thoughts, and when he turned, he spoke. “Legolas is of Mirkwood. He is a Wood elf, and the Prince of their realm. He is no doubt very powerful because of his position. I’m sure he is very influential, too. And here you are, off hiding yourself away with him for the entire night … and he probably told you all kinds of things to persuade you from following your path.”

“What?” I said, disgusted with these accusations.

“We keep trying to ignore it, but the fact is, Haldir might not walk again. You heard him, he could not feel his legs. He may have survived his injury, but if he cannot walk, he cannot lead, and the burden of March warden falls upon you. You know as well as I what it means to take up that role, and it definitely does not include gallivanting around with the Prince of Mirkwood.”

My hands balled into fists as I stood to confront my brother. “Gallivanting around?”

Orophin ignored me and continued. “Come now Rúmil, you cannot tell me that he has not tried to convince you not to take up your position as March warden so that he can have you all to himself.”

I looked my brother squarely in the eyes, narrowing my own. “No he has not,” I said definitively.

He laughed cynically. “You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?”

“He hasn’t because, first of all, he would not do that. Legolas is not like that. And secondly, he … he does not know.”

That threw Orophin’s whole theory about deceptive Wood elves out the door. “He doesn’t know what?”

I looked back at Haldir laying in his bed, the reality of our situation finally hitting me like a stone. “I never told Legolas about Haldir’s offer because … long before all of this, before the battle for the Hornburg … before Haldir even spoke to me about his wish for me to take up his position, I made a promise to Legolas.”

“What kind of promise?” Orophin asked quietly.

“I told him I would go with him, back to Mirkwood after he was done with his mission.” I collapsed in my chair, feeling hope drain away. “He wasn’t trying to convince me not to become March warden. Rather, I was ensuring him that we would still be together when he came home.”

“What are you telling me, Rúmil? You will abandon us for Mirkwood?” he asked.

“No. No, that’s not what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying, actually. I never gave Haldir a definite answer, but now that I see I might have to, I cannot find a way to take back my promise to Legolas. I am caught between love and duty.”

Orophin didn’t say anything, and eventually, he came over and sat next to me, both of us watching Haldir sleep. I didn’t know what I expected him to say in reply to my admission … serves you right … only a fool would choose love over duty.

“I’m sorry,” he said, surprising me. “I just assumed that he–”

“He didn’t,” I interrupted.

We slipped into silence again, and stayed that way for a long time. Eventually, Orophin stood. He placed his hand upon Haldir’s arm before turning to the door. It was my turn to keep watch after Orophin had been here all night. I heard the latch click, but he waited to open it. “Were you really going to leave Lothlórien?” he asked in a whisper.

I nodded my head in answer. Then without turning to him I spoke. “I love being a soldier, and I love my home, but I finally found a place where I could be free to be myself, and someone to share that freedom with. That is something I may never have again.”

Orophin left without saying another word, and he didn’t come back until sunset. He walked in, sat down and told me the news for the day. “The people of Rohan have decided to go back to Edoras when King Théoden returns from Isengard. The elves will leave for home at that time. Eymund says if Haldir cannot travel by then, he will stay here with us until our brother can make the journey safely.”

“Good,” I said in reply. Then I gave him my report from the day. “Haldir is beginning to wake. He’s started to moan something inaudible, and his eyes fluttered, but he never really regained consciousness. It’s the most I’ve seen out of him since this happened.”

I prepared to leave for the evening when Orophin stopped me. “The elves have gathered in the main hall to tell stories to some of the people of Rohan. I’m sure Merion will be there to share his well-rehearsed tales. It’s always a pleasure listening to him tell a story.”

I smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, but I think I’ll spend the night in my room. Send for me if there are any changes.”

* * * * *

The next morning I took up my place, relieving Orophin and expected another uneventful day, until halfway through when Haldir began to wake. He started by moaning and thrashing his head back and forth. Then he began calling out to me and Orophin. I stood and went to him, telling him I was with him. When I felt that he was assured, I ran to the door and called down the corridor to whoever heard me. Luckily, it was Rakelwyn, who was about doing her duties.

“Find Orophin. Find Eymund. Haldir is waking,” I rushed to say, and the girl dashed off as fast as her feet could carry her.

“Wh-where … wh-what–” Haldir stammered.

“You’re still at Helm’s Deep. You’ve been in a healing sleep for days now. We’ve been waiting for you to awake,” I told him.

He turned his head this way and that. “Yes, I remember now. Whose room is this?”

“It is one of King Théoden’s private chambers. He insisted that you be brought here, and the best healers have been with you throughout.”

“How long was I asleep?” he asked.

“Three, maybe four days?”

The door opened and both Orophin and Eymund came in. Haldir smiled slightly when he saw Orophin.

“You’ve finally decided to join the living again,” Orophin teased, but something he said made Haldir look on with concern.

“Ai, I am alive, aren’t I?” Haldir said.

“How are you feeling?” Eymund asked.

“Alright I guess, for almost being split in two.”

“Are you in any pain?”

Haldir thought about it a moment. “The wound on my back hurts, but it is not unbearable.”

Eymund stood at the foot of the bed. He looked at me and then to Orophin. “I need to perform a few tests.” We nodded, and the healer pulled the sheets back uncovering Haldir’s feet. “I’m going to do something, and I want you to tell me if you feel anything.” Eymund held a needle in his hand, but he didn’t let Haldir see what he was doing. Next, he stuck Haldir’s big toe, and my brother didn’t even flinch. Eymund ran his fingernail along the bottom of the foot, the side and the top, but still, Haldir said nothing. Eymund looked up at our brother. “Did you feel anything? Even the slightest twinge?”

Haldir shook his head slowly. “I didn’t think you started to do anything yet. No, I felt nothing.”

Eymund glanced back at Orophin and I, extreme concern and disappointment on his face, but when he turned back to Haldir, it disappeared. He continued poking Haldir’s legs in certain places, around his knees, his calves, and his thighs, but there was no sign of any recognition to pain coming from our brother. The healer went back to the foot of the bed. “Wiggle your toes,” he said.

Haldir looked determined, but nothing moved. Eymund told him to concentrate and try harder, but still, no movement. After he finished with his series of tests, Eymund put a hand on Haldir’s shoulder and shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry, March warden. There was no sign of movement.”

“No,” Orophin said with desperation. “Maybe it is only temporary. You said it yourself that the wound was deep. Perhaps as it heals, the feeling will come back.”

“It’s not unheard of, but it is very rare for that to happen.” Eymund sounded dismal. I thought he was rather sure that this was permanent.

“Do you think he can travel?” I asked.

Eymund nodded. “The wound is still draining, but pack it good and change the dressing twice a day, and he should have no trouble journeying back to Lothlórien. Of course, have him looked at right away by your healers, and travel slowly to keep him from being jostled around too much.” Eymund looked at Haldir with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, but at least you are still with us. You pulled through some difficult moments. Your will is strong.”

Haldir laid back in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “What does a strong will matter now,” he said.

I thanked Eymund as he left the room. Orophin seemed angered. Haldir was distant. Today was a sad day indeed. “Maybe there is something our healers can do,” I said to him.

“You heard Eymund. The damage is permanent,” Haldir answered.

“He also said there is a rare chance that you can regain the use of your legs, but we won’t know until we try something,” I encouraged.

“The elves heal much differently than Men,” Orophin added. “Perhaps, given time, you can heal yourself.”

“No!” Haldir shouted. Orophin and I were taken aback, and we froze in place. Haldir remained silent a moment, eyes fastened to the roof above him. “You should have let me die.”

“Haldir,” I whispered. “Can you say you would have let either one of us die? You are our brother, and we will always do everything within our power to keep you with us.”

“Will you leave me for a while? I wish to be alone,” Haldir requested.

Orophin and I respected his wishes and left, but we were heartbroken and unsure what to do next. Orophin shook his head as we walked along the corridor. “I don’t like this one bit. He’s never spoken like that before.”

“He just received disparaging news. How else should he react? Haldir needs time to come to terms with this. I’m not ready to give up on the idea that there might yet be hope for him to walk again.” I stopped, forcing Orophin to stop too. “The company should be back in the next couple of days, and then we will go home as we had planned.”

Orophin studied me a moment, trying to see if I meant what I’d said. “And Legolas?”

I turned my eyes to the floor. “He has his own agenda to tend to. He need not be worried with anything right now.” The truth was, if I told him about Haldir and that it seemed like I would most certainly have to take up the March warden position, I feared that he might lose faith in us, and in turn lose hope along his journey. As long as he still thought that our plans were genuine, I felt that he would be focused on his mission and come home safe. The only difference was that I might not be going home with him.

A few days later, word spread that the King was returning. Everyone was anxious to know what happened in Isengard. Scouts reported that everyone was coming back safe and uninjured, and that two more rode with them, the missing Hobbits, Merry and Pippin. I stood on the unbroken section of wall and watched the horizon for them to come home. Inside, I was torn in two, between my duty and Legolas. But it was easy to put those thoughts aside right now, for I knew we could not be together yet. Most certainly, the Rohirrim would head out for Edoras tomorrow, and the elves would leave for Lothlórien. We knew we would have to part, and I preferred that it remained this way until I could wrap my head around this new change of events.

Finally, they came back. I watched from my spot on the wall. My heart was beating faster with every step closer they came until I could see Legolas clearly, riding tall and proud upon his grey horse. “He will be a ruler one day,” I thought to myself. One day, his father would surely hear the call and depart these lands, and then Legolas would become a King. I could see it in the way he carried himself. He should be a king, for he had all the knowledge, strength and confidence one needed to rule an entire realm.

Legolas looked up as he came up the causeway, and smiled at me when he neared the gate. We exchanged our secret words through our eyes. I couldn’t wait to hold him again. I went down quickly to meet the company, anxious not only to greet Legolas, but to learn of what happened in Isengard. I got there just as Legolas leapt from his horse, his cloak spreading out behind him like the wings of an eagle. His steps were quick and determined as he approached me, leaving his companions behind. His eyes were set upon me, aflame with desire. He’d been thinking of me, I could tell. I’d been thinking of him too.

He stopped just before me. “Greetings, Captain Rúmil. I hope all is well.”

“Uneventful in your absence, Prince Legolas,” I answered, putting on my best show of professionalism while others were around.

“Good to know. Any word on your brother?” he asked with sincerity.

“He … he is awake,” I said uncertain. “But he is not taking any visitors at this time. His injuries have left him weak, and he wishes not to be seen as such. I hope you’ll understand.”

Legolas nodded. “I do. Haldir is very prided on the appearance of his strength.”

“Prince Legolas, it is good to see you returned,” Orophin said from behind. I hadn’t known he was coming to welcome the company.

“Captain Orophin,” Legolas nodded in greeting. “Your brother tells me that the March warden has regained consciousness, but that he does not wish for any outside company. Will you relay to him my delight in knowing he has come through his ordeal? I’m sure he is anxious to return home.”

“As are we all,” Orophin replied. “Word is that the Rohirrim will leave for Edoras in the morning, now that the King has come back. The Lothlórien army shall depart at the same time.”

“Yes, King Théoden has told us of his plans, and I expect the elves would do the same. I cannot express how much I appreciate Lothlórien’s participation in this last battle. Please tell Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn that I, as a representative of Mirkwood, and the army of Mirkwood are in their debt. If ever you need our assistance, do not hesitate to call upon us.”

“I will indeed tell them,” Orophin said.

“If you don’t mind, may I have a private word with Captain Rúmil?” Legolas asked politely.

“Actually, he is needed at the moment. I’m afraid your … conversation … will have to wait.” Orophin was being a bit forceful, and I didn’t appreciate it. Just when I thought things were settled between us . . .

“Actually, there will be a feast later today, to welcome the King and his company back from Isengard, and to honor their fallen. Perhaps we can speak then,” I said, taking control of things.

“I look forward to it then,” Legolas said, his eyes fastening onto mine, and then turning quickly to Orophin, changing to something more challenging. Orophin understood their silent message to let us have our moment and stop interrupting. My brother nodded and left us. Legolas and I watched as he left. “What is going on?” Legolas asked in a whisper.

“I don’t think he’s ever truly accepted this since he found out about us,” I admitted.

“I rather think it is me that he doesn’t accept. Rúmil, I don’t mean to interfere with your way of doing things, but perhaps you should speak to your brothers about our plans sooner than later.”

There was the knife in my stomach again, twisting with the guilt of my situation. “When I get home, I will. For now, though, our main focus is seeing that Haldir heals.”

“So he’s awake. This is wonderful news. When did it happen? Does he remember anything?” Legolas asked, changing his mood to something lighter.

“It’s only been a couple days. He is still a bit out of it. Of course, he doesn’t remember much after the attack, but … something seems off about him.” I shouldn’t have mentioned it, but I was worried about something he said, when he told Orophin and I that we should have let him die. That was very unlike my brother to sound so dismal. But then, it probably had everything to do with the loss of his mobility.

“I’m sure everything will be much better once he is home, and especially when he gets back to his position as March warden,” Legolas said. He gazed at me with a hint of seductiveness. “I’ll see you at the feast then?”

“Yes, definitely.”

Legolas leaned into me to whisper. “And if I try to steal you away, will you resist?”

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. “You know I can’t.”

“Until then,” he said, his breath a wisp of air upon my neck. He had the aura of trees and green again. They must have traveled through a forest.

“Yes, iaun nín,” I replied softly.

* * * * *

The feast began on a solemn note, a song and a prayer for the fallen, a moment of silence and a toast. But soon, the festivities were underway, and every man in the room had a mug in his hand, a smile on his face, a laugh on his tongue, and a story to tell. I noticed that there were only a few women in attendance, Lady Eowyn being among them. I couldn’t help but notice how her eyes repeatedly fell upon Aragorn. I wondered if she knew that his heart already belonged to another. She was a beautiful young woman, and I noticed the family resemblance between her and her brother, Eomer. Strong Rohirric traditions ran through that family; it was easy to see.

Legolas was by my side for a while, until Eomer and Gimli pulled him away. He gestured for me to come along, but I refused. I’d rather stand off to the side and observe than participate. I wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind for this kind of fanfare, but I didn’t let on. It was bothering me how sure Legolas was about us, when I knew that things were going to change soon. He seemed so happy, I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news, not now, not yet. I wasn’t worried for him finding out about Haldir’s condition by accident. No one knew, Haldir wanted it that way. I thought he was still in denial, hoping that the healer, Eymund was wrong.

My brother insisted that not even the elves know about his condition. It wouldn’t be a difficult secret to keep at first. He couldn’t ride a horse, even if his legs worked, because of the deep gash on his back, so seeing him home riding in a wagon would not seem suspicious. Once we were home, though, it would only be a matter of time before people started to wonder. I don’t know what Haldir was thinking, but I figured, for now at least, there would be no harm in letting him keep his secret.

I watched Legolas from my so called perch. He was enjoying himself as he drank with Eomer and Gimli. I was beginning to see something new about Legolas. Up until now, I’d only seen him interact with other elves. He was comfortable with his own kind, even if they were from other realms. When he was in Lothlórien, he blended in without a hitch. Now, though, I was seeing him with other races. Here he was with a dwarf that he considered a close friend. They laughed and slapped each other on the back just like longtime friends. And then there was Eomer, who Legolas threatened to kill when they first met, not to mention the discernable mistrust of the people of Rohan against any and all outsiders. For years they’d considered elves as magical beings, dangerous and dark-minded, not unlike wizards. But to watch Eomer laugh and drink with an elf and a dwarf, one would never know that there was any mistrust at any time. Even Eomer’s men, who had joined the contest of seeing who could drink the most before passing out, seemed to have set aside any skepticism they had for these strangers. Then again, war could bring the unlikeliest of people together when they fought against the same evil. But it was more than that with Legolas. He made friends along the way without any effort. Either you liked him or you didn’t. And if you didn’t, he had no time for that. He was more special than I had ever thought he was. He was able to bring people together who might never have been friends in the first place, and make them all see things in the same light. Legolas was truly amazing.

I’d lost track of time watching this game of sobriety, or lack thereof, but the table they stood at was completely filled with empty mugs and glasses. Eomer, who had been elected to keep the ale going, was now tilting the keg in order to get out the last of the drink. His men were already slumped in their chairs. Gimli was sitting and more than a bit wobbly, but still conscious. Legolas stood at the table, drinking every glass given to him and setting the empty mug upside-down. I had to laugh. Obviously, no one knew about an elf’s ability to drink a large quantity of alcohol and not be affected by it, but I could see that maybe Legolas was beginning to feel his cups. The whole room was deep in theirs, and the shouts of laughter were beginning to subside as the inebriated state of the partygoers spread from one side of the hall to the other. I could see that a good number of these men would remain here tonight, and sleep off their drunkenness on tables, chairs and the floor.

And then, down he went … Gimli drank his last mug and dropped to the floor. Eomer, and a few men observing the contest, cheered and raised Legolas’ arm in the air, claiming him the victor. The ale was gone and they all went about their business. That’s when Legolas came over to me, and I could see that he wasn’t completely unaffected, though he wasn’t beyond comprehension.

“Looks like you won,” I smiled.

“And they said I couldn’t hold my liquor,” he said proudly. Then he leaned into my ear. “I’m not sure, but I think I feel something. I’m a bit light headed.”

“Well, one would never know. You carry it well.”

He smiled and looked around the room. Everything seemed as it should be for the moment. No one had any cares for now. It was a good night to be had by all. Legolas leaned against a wooden column and considered me from the corner of his eye. “There is something I want to get a glimpse of before we leave tomorrow. Would you like to join me?”

“Sure, but what is it?” I asked curiously.

“Gimli has talked of nothing but the Glittering Caves since we first came to Helm’s Deep. His very ancestors helped with the construction of the stronghold, and they were the ones to navigate the caves. I’d just like to see them before I go.”

“Let’s go then. I haven’t seen them either.” Together we left the festivities and made our way along the corridors until we found ourselves at the back … at the mouth of the cave. It didn’t look like much at first, but as we went a little further in, we started to see what made this place special, and how it got its name. The small area we’d been in opened up into a large room with sandy floors and high ceilings. The walls were unique, and they shone with the richness of polished stone embedded with sparkling gems, crystals, and veins of ore.

“It’s said that there are many rooms, chambers, passages, and halls within this place. The caves go back quite far. One could get lost if he wasn’t careful,” Legolas said as he observed with awe. “I shouldn’t like to go too deep.” He seemed frightened by the caves, and I wasn’t sure why. Legolas himself lived in a series of caverns.

“At least you are used to being underground,” I commented.

“Yes, but I know my way around, and I know where all the exits are. My father’s halls do not stretched for miles as the Glittering Caves do. Something this deep and dark might just house some sort of ancient creature. The dwarves dug too deep once. I would hope they have not done that here.” He was truly frightened and I took his hand to assure him he was safe.

“It’s the Balrog you think of now, isn’t it?” I wondered.

Legolas nodded and swallowed hard. “I have seen many things in my life, been scared of a few, but nothing has ever struck such a fear in me as that fiery beast.”

“If there was a Balrog here, do you think the Rohirrim would have allowed their women and children inside? I think it is safe, but just for peace of mind, we’ll not go any further.”

As quickly as his fear took him, it disappeared, yet another trait that truly amazed me about Legolas. He looked at our joined hands and raised it to his lips. “I wish we had more time.”

“So do I,” I whispered. My hand wrapped around the back of his neck, and I drew him to me, kissing him with slow deliberation. I could feel his urgency growing, as well as mine.

There were footsteps coming towards us. We could hear the shuffling of the sandy floor. Then we heard a woman’s giggle and a man’s urging. “Someone’s coming,” I warned.

Legolas smiled and grabbed my wrist. “Come. In here.” He pulled me into one of the many alcoves of the grand room.

The couple stopped, but they were whispering to each other. I peeked around the corner and saw them standing in an embrace not far from the place where Legolas and I had just been. The woman asked for his reassurance that they were alone, and he comforted her worry with a kiss. “I don’t think they are in much of a hurry,” I told Legolas.

“That means we’re trapped as long as they are here,” he said from behind me. I was still watching to see what the couple would do.

“Your companions will wonder where you’ve gotten off to,” I said.

“Let them wonder then,” he said in a low seductive growl. His arms surrounded my waist as he pulled me back from the doorway. His lips were instantly upon my neck.

“You can’t be serious,” I complained. “There are people just outside.”

“Yes, I know.” His hands traveled lower, cupping me through my leggings. I turned in his arms and found his eyes full of hunger and desire. Before I could make another protest, he assaulted my mouth, his tongue pushing past my lips. He walked me backwards, pinning me against the alcove wall.

The sounds of the couple outside were not rushed. They spoke quietly and kissed slowly. Light moans meant they weren’t here for a fast rumble. They meant to take their time, probably because there was no privacy above, and most of them men were drunk and passing out about now. No one would come looking for the man or the woman. Legolas and I were at their mercy until they decided to leave or they themselves fell asleep, and we could sneak past them. It looked like we were going to be here for a while.

Legolas’ hands roamed to the buttons of my tunic, which he began undoing with ease. I watched his face, the devious curve of his lips, the crinkles at the outer edges of his eyes. They swept up and fastened on mine, and I felt my whole body begin to burn for him.

“Legolas, I don’t think–” I began to protest, but he silenced me with another kiss. His fingers fumbled with the buttons of my undershirt. He wasn’t going to listen to my complaints.

Outside, the couple’s breathing became more rapid, and I heard the rustle of clothes being shed. The woman moaned a little louder. “Aye Galmar, it has been so long.”

“Mmm, but worth the wait, Frída,” the man said.

“I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t do this,” Frída said worriedly.

“I promise you, there is no one around,” Galmar encouraged.

“No one but us,” Legolas whispered his warm breath tantalizing on my neck.

“This isn’t right,” I told him.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

I hesitated before answering. “No.” I knew I couldn’t deny him when he was in this kind of mood.

“I didn’t think so. Just relax, Rúmil. Only lovers are in the caves this night. They don’t know we are here so we shouldn’t ruin their evening. Neither will we let them ruin ours.” He dropped to his knees, pushed my unbuttoned shirt away from my waist, and took the laces of my leggings in his teeth. I watched him move with ease, having no trouble with his task. He lifted his eyes to mine, released the ties and licked his lips. Then he pulled the leggings down, freeing me from my confines. The tip of his tongue traveled along my length tauntingly. He flattened his tongue and repeated the same course. I wanted him to just swallow me, but he was taking his time torturing me with each pass of his tongue, moistening the surface of my painfully erect cock. My hips gyrated forward, wanting him to take more of me into his mouth. And all the while, I could hear the couple outside moaning with delight.

“Aye Galmar, the things you can do with … by the gods, yes,” she claimed.

“I’m not done with you yet, my sweet. Turn around for me, Frída my love,” Galmar directed her.

Legolas released me and stood, his lips red from his ministrations. “Good idea. Turn around.”

I did as he said, and turned towards the cave wall. He pulled my shirt from my shoulders and I heard it fall to the floor. Then he helped me out of my shoes and pulled my leggings off. I started to turn back towards him, but he stopped me. “Not yet. I’ve got you right where I want you.” He playfully bit my bare shoulder, hands roaming down my back, coming to rest on my arse, which he squeezed. I heard him get on his knees again, and then he was spreading me and licking me. His hand reached around and stroked my cock, the other spreading moisture where it was needed. As he stood, he nipped and kissed my skin, running his tongue along my spine.

“I need you now, Galmar,” I heard her call to her lover.

“Do you need me, Rúmil?” Legolas asked.

“Every hour of every day,” I said, arching my back and offering myself to him.

“Aye, Frída, you feel so good,” Galmar moaned.

Legolas entered me. “Oh yes, warm and tight, just the way I like you.”

We could hear the couple set their rhythm by the sounds they made. Legolas mimicked them, sliding in and out, matching their rhythm. I was so close now. “Finish me, Legolas,” I begged.

“Not quite yet,” he said deviously.

The man began moaning more as the woman’s cries became more anxious. And Legolas became more aggressive, pounding me, my hands braced against the cave wall, my feet spread, back arched, and Legolas pulling me into him. We could hear the couple getting close to completion. Legolas increased his rhythm. The woman gasped. The man cried out. Legolas went deep, touching me in that one place, and I spilled as he stroked me. I could feel him spill within, warmth filling me. It took everything I had not to cry out. As a matter of fact, not allowing myself to utter even the slightest whimper made it even more euphoric. Legolas pulled me away from the wall so that my back was against his chest. I tilted my head back to rest on his shoulder. Stretched like this, I felt every nerve in my being shatter. Legolas whispered different admissions of love in my ear as my orgasm washed over me from head to toe. He was still buried within me, still deep and pulsating.

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” he said. “I don’t ever want this feeling to end. Tell me you love me. Tell me you want me by your side.”

“Ai, Legolas, I do love you like I’ve never loved anyone before,” I admitted.

After we regained our senses, we dressed and sat on the cave floor, leaning against the wall. The couple outside was not finished yet. Now they were talking and kissing. I didn’t think they would leave for quite a while yet, so Legolas and I made ourselves as comfortable as possible. We sat in silent satisfaction, my head resting upon his shoulder. There was a sweet smile on his face that did not fade for the longest time. By the gods, he was a gorgeous creature, and he loved me. Of all the elves in Middle-earth, he loved me. I loved him too, but things had gotten complicated recently. The fact was, Haldir would not be able to complete his duties anymore. Whether it was temporary or permanent, it didn’t matter. Someone would have to take over his position in the army, and he wanted that person to be me. I had an obligation to the army, but most importantly to my family. We did not abandon each other, no matter the situation. But this was what I was giving up, a chance at real love and commitment with someone who I trusted and needed. Maybe part of me thought I’d never really find that. For so long it was only a dream, safe to imagine without actually having it right in front of me. It was here now, though, and it was real … it was Legolas.

I had told myself that I wasn’t going to tell him my dilemma, but he was a part of it. Should I keep him in the dark, let him continue his mission thinking that when he returned, we’d be together in Mirkwood? As long as he thought that, he would have hope. He would have a reason to fight harder than he ever had, because he knew what was waiting for him. The guilt that I knew how that future wouldn’t come to pass was tearing me up inside. Every time Legolas told me he loved me, every time he talked about what our lives would be like when he returned, I cringed and knotted up inside. He was so sure of us, and I knew the truth. I wasn’t sure I could keep this secret any longer. Part of me said to keep quiet, but the part that trusted Legolas … that knew how much he trusted me … said he should know.

Eventually, the couple left the caves. Legolas and I sat with each other another moment before we got up. The night was very late, and the activities in the hall were over with. People slept wherever they could find space. There were bodies everywhere, on tables, on benches, and on the floor. The air smelled of ale and men, and it offended my senses.

“Will you join me outside?” Legolas asked.

“Of course,” I said eagerly. We made our way out onto the veranda, and took the fresh air deep into our lungs. There was a slight breeze, and I lifted my face to feel its caress. There was no moon, so the stars were extra bright. “It’s a beautiful evening,” I said.

“I like being out here,” Legolas said with a smile. “It’s quiet and it’s open. Mirkwood and Lothlórien are both confined, aren’t they?”

“Hidden away from the world, yes. But here, we are free under the stars with nothing around us but the air and the night. It is rather refreshing.”

“That’s what we really want, isn’t it? You and me, free to be ourselves,” he said.

“But you are always free in Mirkwood. No one questions your behavior, not like in Lothlórien.”

He huffed a laugh. “You would think so, but at times, because of my father and my title, I am just as held back and tied up as you are in Lórien.”

“And yet, that is where you want to be,” I said.

“For now, I guess. But I can’t help wonder if there is somewhere else in this world, where elves like us can do as we please without being impaired.” He slipped his hand beneath my cloak, and took a hold of mine. “One thing is for sure. I’m never more alive and free than when I am with you, Rúmil.”

I closed my eyes and drew my brows together. I needed to tell him. “Legolas, have you ever thought about what would happen to us if … if . . .” I couldn’t go on. If I told him that we couldn’t be together when he returned, I feared what would happen to him in my absence.

“You mean, if one of us died, what would happen to the other?” he finished. He nodded slowly. “Yes, it has crossed my mind. I’m not sure what would happen. I know I love you, and we have shared many nights in each other’s arms. If you fell, I think I would feel complete devastation over your loss.”

“But would you fade?” I asked.

“I … I don’t know. We haven’t officially bound ourselves in the eyes of the Valar, but does one have to have a ceremony to bind themselves to their lover? I feel like we share something that no one else on this earth could know of, and if something happened to you, whether I faded or not, I don’t think I’d ever love again.”

“Don’t say that, Legolas. If something were to happen to me, I would want you to continue on. I’d want you to at least try and find love.”

“Would you look for love again if something happened to me?” he said, turning the tables on me.

“I could try, but I know I’d never find anything even remotely close to what we have. So, no, I don’t think I’d love again either.”

Legolas looked at me questioningly. “What has brought on this way of thinking?

“Everything … this recent war, the journey still before you, Haldir’s brush with death,” I admitted. “So many factors could have ended life for either one of us.”

“But it didn’t, and we are still here. We are still alive and in love, and nothing can change that.”

Or could it, I thought. Would he still feel that way when I told him my secret? “Legolas, there is something you should know.”

He regarded me a moment. “Go on.”

“It’s about Haldir, but you must promise not to tell anyone. This is the way my brother wants it for now.” I paused to gather myself. “He … he was not unscathed by this battle. He was severely wounded, as you know, but there has been more damage done than what you’ve seen, and it might be irreversible.”

“What is it? What happened?” he asked anxiously.

“He … Haldir has … my brother has lost the use of his legs. No one knows besides me, Orophin, the healer and the girl. Haldir doesn’t want anyone to know. I think he is in denial and hopes it is temporary, but Eymund feels that there is no hope of him ever walking again.”

“Oh no, Rúmil. This is devastating news.” Legolas turned from me to look out over the field. I don’t think he realized what that meant, but I could see him connecting everything to each other. “By the gods, what will be do? He cannot fight anymore.”

“He cannot be a warden anymore, either,” I added, making him aware of where I was going with this.

“The position will have to be filled,” Legolas said.

“It already has, just not officially.” I studied his face, looking deep in his eyes, hoping he knew where this was going.

“Please tell me Orophin is next in line,” he pleaded.

I shook my head slowly, wishing I didn’t have to do this.

“You?” he asked quietly.

“He asked me before the battle that if anything were to happen to him . . .”

“Why you? I mean no offense, but … Orophin is second born. It seems the title would go to him.”

“Well, it hasn’t,” I said dimly.

“And you agreed?”

“I … skimmed past giving him my answer, but now that–”

“Then tell him no,” Legolas interrupted.

“What?”

“Tell him you do not want this.”

“Legolas, he is my brother. I cannot abandon my family.”

“You were ready to do just that when you said you were coming to live with me in Mirkwood,” he justified.

“That was before all of this happened, when Haldir was still able to take care of himself. But now … I don’t know what will happen. Step into my boots for a moment. Could you leave your family when they needed you most?”

From somewhere inside, we heard yelling. Legolas and I looked at each other a moment, and then we ran towards the door. Inside was the fellowship. They were all standing around the Hobbit, Pippin. Gandalf was kneeling over him, his hand upon the halfling’s head, and speaking a foreign tongue unfamiliar to me. Legolas instantly went to Aragorn. “What happened to him?”

“It seems our young friend let his curiosity get the better of him. He found the Seeing Stone and looked into it,” Aragorn said.

“A Seeing Stone? Here?” I inquired.

“Saruman had it, but it betrayed him. Gandalf found it at Isengard, and has brought it to keep it out of the hands of the enemy,” Legolas told me.

I looked down at the halfling’s face, pale and frightened. “Is he alright?” I asked. Gandalf glanced up at me.

“He’ll be fine, but we have a new problem,” Gandalf said. “He’s looked into the stone, and he’s seen war. Sauron will attack Gondor.”

“But that’s good,” Gimli said. “I mean … not the war, but he’s seen the future. We know for sure where to go next.”

Gandalf nodded. “Yes, but Sauron has seen Pippin. He thinks this is the Hobbit who has the ring. He’ll send out his Nazgûl to find the halfling. Pippin cannot stay in Rohan or risk putting them all in danger.”

“Where will we go then?” Merry asked, obviously worried about his friend.

“You can all come to Lothlórien. You’ll be well protected there,” I suggested. I looked at Legolas, but he had turned from me.

“Thank you Captain,” Gandalf replied. “But we’ll wait until morning before we make a decision. I must speak to King Théoden first.” Gandalf went to Aragorn. “Gondor will need help from Rohan if it is to survive this next war.”

Legolas had gone across the room. I went to him, needing to finish our conversation. Before I could say anything, he stopped me. “Find your rest tonight, Captain. We’ll speak in the morning.”

I hesitated before I went, but I felt terrible. He seemed so distant now. Well, perhaps things would look better in the morning, but I wouldn’t hold out much hope. I may have just ruined the only thing worth fighting for.


	19. Chapter 19

Morning … I was not looking forward to this day. Today, we left for Lothlórien. Today, Legolas left with his fellowship. Today, I was unsure of my future. Legolas and I had parted on a sour note after I told him about Haldir and my obligation. I didn’t want to leave things this way. I needed him to understand my decision. I had no choice in the matter. Family had to come first, but love for another was just as important.

I stood upon the Deeping Wall, alone with my thoughts, avoiding the inevitable. Perhaps I should have said nothing to Legolas about Haldir, but it was tearing me apart inside. I knew I could think straight unless I was honest with him. If he found out any other way, it would not sit well.

I heard footsteps approaching, slow and unsure. It was Legolas. “How long have you known … about Haldir?” he asked.

“Since before you left for Isengard. He awoke briefly and claimed he could not feel his legs. Right after, he lost consciousness until he finally came awake while you were gone.”

“Why did you wait to tell me?” he wondered.

“I … I didn’t think I would tell you at all. I didn’t want you leaving again and have doubts.”

I heard him close the distance between us, and then his hand clutched my shoulder. “I should not have said what I did last night. Of course family comes first. I never meant to sound as if I was forcing you to choose. It’s just … you led me to believe that all was well. My love for you has not changed in the least. My hope for our plans … well … maybe … we will have to change those. If you become March warden, we cannot live in Mirkwood. But can we not still escape from time to time?”

“It will leave us with less time than we had before,” I said.

“I understand that, but … your brother found ways, did he not? You will too.”

I glanced over my shoulder, covering his hand with mine. “So you are still willing to try?”

Legolas turned me to face him. “Did you ever think I would not?”

“I don’t know. All we talked about was being free. I feared what would happen to us if you knew about this change.”

His hand cupped the side of my face, and he smiled sweetly. “Dear Rúmil, my love, I want nothing more than to be with you without hindrance, but I’d rather have you one day a year than not at all. We’ll make it work.”

“I should have known. I don’t know why I fretted,” I said leaning into his hand.

“You are more important to me than anything, Rúmil. We’ll find a way. When this whole thing is over, we will find a way to be together.” He kissed my forehead. “Do not lose hope.”

We parted before someone saw us, and I looked back towards the keep. “Has Gandalf spoken to Théoden?”

“They are in counsel right now. I just wanted to speak to you before they announce their decision.”

I smiled. “I’m glad you did. I was afraid you would head off on your journey before we had a chance to talk. This seems to be my curse. Whenever I think I can have something meaningful, my career always takes precedence in one form or another.”

“It is not a curse. You just haven’t met the person who will stay with you no matter what, not until now. I mean what I say, Rúmil. We will make this work,” he said determinedly. I wondered why I ever worried.

* * * * *

Later, Legolas and I had joined the rest of his fellowship. I was getting ready to go and see how Haldir was when Gandalf came storming out of Théoden’s private audience chamber, grumbling under his breath.

“What is it, Gandalf?” Aragorn asked as he stopped the wizard.

“I don’t know why I even bother. That man,” he said, pointing his finger towards the closed door, “is the most stubborn, egotistical, bullheaded . . .” He went back to grumbling.

“I take it your meeting did not go well,” Gimli said.

“I told him everything as I knew to be fact, and he will not budge from this place. Rohan must ride to Gondor. War is coming, and the White City will fall unless we all participate. But the King is not thinking clearly. He grieves for his dead son, for the death of so many of his people, and the ruin of the Hornburg. He blames Gondor for not coming to his aide, and now he says he will not go voluntarily. They must call upon him for aid.”

“Then the beacons must be lit,” Aragorn said. “Can we send word to Gondor, and tell them to do this?”

“It’s not that simple, and it is definitely not quick. I’ve heard rumor about the Steward. He is every bit as prideful as Théoden. The feud between them goes back generations. I doubt he will call for help unless someone can convince him to do so.”

“I will go,” Aragorn volunteered, but Gandalf shook his head.

“I fear Denethor will see you as a threat, especially if he figures out who your ancestors are. Besides, I need you three to stay with Théoden. No, I will ride. I have the swiftest horse. We’ll be there faster than any messenger. Once I get there, I’ll talk to the Steward and convince him to light the beacons. It is the only way to get Rohan to move. Now, Théoden and his army are going back to Edoras with his people. You three will go with them, but keep an eye out for the flame upon Halifirien. Make sure Théoden sees this.”

“How do we know he will do as he says,” Legolas asked.

“Théoden may be stubborn, but he will not break his oath to the call for aid. If the beacons are lit, he will have no choice but to go to Gondor.” Gandalf marched out of the hall, but the Hobbits, Merry and Pippin, ran after him.

Merry seemed the most concerned. “Where does that leave us then?”

Gandalf stopped and turned on his heal, his grey cloak billowing out as he did. “You, Merriadoc Brandybuck will stay in Rohan, but I’m afraid your foolish cousin must come with me.”

“Me?” Pippin complained. “Why me?”

“Because Peregrin Took, curiosity may have killed the cat, but in this case, it might prove to be a useful tool. Come, Pippin, there is no time to waste,” Gandalf demanded and headed off to the stables with Pippin in tow.

One of my men saw me standing on the veranda and ran up to me with a message. “Your brother, Orophin sends word, Captain. A cart has been readied for the March warden. The troops have gathered on the causeway. We are ready to leave for Lothlórien.”

I nodded and told him I would come along shortly. I glanced at Legolas, knowing these were our last moments together. He then glanced at Aragorn and Gimli, who nodded and went off towards the stables with Gandalf, leaving Legolas and me alone.

“Guess this is it,” I said, looking after the others as they went to the stable. “Watch yourself and be careful.”

“I will,” he answered. I could feel his eyes upon me, but I didn’t want to look at him. I just wanted to go and not say goodbye, to not see any sorrow in his eyes or to have him see it in mine. “When I’m coming home, I will send word.”

“I would like that,” I answered. Then I felt his fingers on my chin, and he turned my head towards him.

“Do not fear for me. Just worry about your family. Concentrate on your new position. You’ll make a fine leader, Rúmil. Of this I have no doubt.”

“At least one of us does,” I said cynically.

He huffed a laugh, looked around, and kissed me. “I love you,” he whispered before he stood straight. 

Before I could answer him, he trotted off to the stables to join his company. I watched him go until he disappeared inside. When I turned back towards the doors of the main hall, I found Orophin standing alone, watching me. He’d seen our exchange, but then, he already knew about Legolas and I. Still, he didn’t look pleased. I walked towards him to go back inside. I didn’t stop as I passed my brother. There was nothing he could say to me that I wanted to hear. He sensed this, also, because he remained silent and followed me to Haldir’s room.

* * * * *

I stood with my men upon the causeway as Théoden and Eomer said their farewell to Haldir. My brother was inside a wagon equipped with a canvas top and sides that could be covered if need be. For now, they were not. He had appearances to keep, and he appeared as strong as he could be for someone so severely injured. Eymund was there also, and Rakelwyn. They thanked Haldir for lending his men for the battle, and for his own bravery. They wished him a speedy and full recovery. Haldir smiled and remained valiantly strong, but some of us knew the truth of his situation. He was more than injured.

Orophin sent out the call, and the elvish horn blew to signal our departure. Lothlórien’s banners flew high above the army, and we left the Hornburg as we had come. I couldn’t help but feel that a part of me remained behind, and when I looked back at the stronghold, I saw what it was I’d left. Legolas stood on the wall, watching the Lothlórien army leave. I stopped my horse and moved to the side, appearing to let my regiment pass by first, but I was actually looking back at Legolas, nothing more than a tiny figure upon the massive stone wall. I knew he’d picked me out of the army. No one else looked back at the Hornburg. I could see him lift his hand to me, waving subtly. I lowered my head and raised it in a slow nod so that he’d know I saw him. I had a feeling it would be a very long time before we met again, and my heart ached to know this was only the beginning of our separation.

We traveled slower than we had coming to Rohan, and I was glad for it. As soon as we got to Lothlórien, I would have to speak with Haldir, and come to a final decision about my role as March warden. I thought my brother would have said something before now, but he was unusually silent. He wore a mask that only Orophin and I could see, pretending to be injured while knowing that the extent of his injuries was a prodigious one. During our second night on the road, Orophin pulled me to the side to discuss it.

“I fear that our brother has not come to terms with his condition,” Orophin said.

“I have sensed this also, but maybe he just wants to get home first, speak with the Lord and Lady, and then make his announcement,” I justified.

“Perhaps,” he answered and remained silent. I started to walk away, hoping we were finished, but he clasped my arm to stop me. “And what of your decision as March warden?”

“I don’t think I have much choice but to honor our brother’s wish and fulfill a promise. I would like to speak with Lord Celeborn first, though. He should know that Haldir wants to appoint me, just in case there’s–”

“He already has,” Orophin said under his breath, stopping me.

I knitted my brows. “What do you mean?”

Orophin sighed and looked to the side. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything to you, but Haldir spoke to Lord Celeborn after his counsel with Lady Galadriel.”

I was confused as I remembered Haldir saying that he sided with Celeborn’s decision not to go to Rohan. That was before he spoke with Galadriel, though. He must have gone back to Lord Celeborn afterwards. What had she said that made my brother change his mind? “Do you know what she said to Haldir?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say anything about their meeting,” Orophin said.

“Haldir was acting rather suspicious, and I can’t help but think it had something to do with whatever she told him,” I said.

“I agree that Haldir’s behavior was peculiar before we left Lothlórien, but I thought it was just worry for entering a war that already had us outnumbered by the enemy.”

“I thought that too,” I admitted. “But that would not be enough to make him worry to the point of appointing his replacement.”

“I think it was more the fact that we were entering into a war that was not against us to begin with. By helping Rohan, we turned the dark lord’s eye towards Lothlórien when it hadn’t been upon us before. That’s why Celeborn disagreed with this in the first place, and I happened to agree with him.”

I shook my head at his arrogance. “Did you think Sauron would never turn his eye on us? It wouldn’t have mattered if we fought for Rohan or not. Eventually, he would … will come to the Golden Wood if he is not destroyed. By fighting alongside Rohan, and finding victory, we have made sure to keep the enemy at bay a little longer, but not permanently.” My ire rose as I found myself needing to explain. “Do you not see, Orophin? Darkness already threatens to take over Mirkwood, and it has swallowed up a good portion of the Rhovanion. If Rohan fell to our enemy, and gained control of Helm’s Deep, they would nearly be on our doorstep with no one to hinder their advance. They mean to eliminate everything in their path and dominate Middle-earth unless we all put our differences aside and fight together to stop this plague of evil from rising.”

Orophin smiled and clapped a hand to my shoulder. “You see, this is exactly why Haldir has appointed you to be March warden.”

I saw what he was doing. He started this argument to make me realize my strengths, to reassure me that I could do this. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright. Alright, I see now.”

“You will be fine, Rúmil. You are a great Captain, and you will make a great March warden also.” Orophin’s face turned serious as he looked down and away from me, moving closer to my ear. “But you must be prepared for those who will not agree with this decision.”

I knew who he was speaking of … Raenor. “I am not afraid of him or any of his accusations.”

“I know you aren’t, brother, but know that he will be watching you even closer now. You cannot do anything to give him reason to hunt you. You know of what I speak,” he warned.

I could feel my anger build again. What did Orophin think I would do? “I cannot help who holds my heart, but I know one thing. That will never change. If anything, it will make me more passionate about protecting Lothlórien, for Legolas is on a journey to destroy Sauron. We must all do our part in this war.”

“And if you want to do your part, you will not associate with anyone who might stir up speculations. Legolas is not what troubles me, Rúmil. I know there have been others before him, and that they still reside in Lothlórien. You will do well not to be seen anywhere near them. Understand?”

“I will speak with anyone I want,” I argued.

“You are not hearing me, Rúmil,” he seethed. “Raenor knows. Why do you think he sent me to your home that day, when Legolas was still in your bed? He knows and he’s aligning things in his favor. Do not give him fuel to feed that fire.” He took a moment to collect himself, and then looked at me with sympathetic regard. “This isn’t just about your honor, and I think you know that. It’s about all three of us. Haldir is already in enough agony with his situation. Imagine the devastation it would cause if our whole family was rejected. You know that the guilt of one reflects upon all.” He started to walk away, but turned back. “Just keep this in mind,” he said and went to join his men.

* * * * *

We were finally home, and a huge feast had been arranged in honor of our return. As tired as we all were, no one missed the celebration. Haldir was the only one of us who was not in attendance, and Orophin and I took turns sitting with him while the other made an appearance. Orophin was first to stay with Haldir so I made my way to the celebration. All was merry as the musicians played a lively tune, and dancers filled the dance floor. An elaborate spread of meats, cheeses, bread and various fruits consumed one of the many long tables. Servers walked around with endless carafes of wine, which they poured into any empty glass they passed. It was a wonderful time to be had by all, but unfortunately, my heart wasn’t into it. I took a glass and stood off to the side to watch the festivities without actually having to participate.

It was good to see some of my men with their ladies once more, enjoying themselves as they danced the night away. I knew some of the women here would never hold their men again, and I felt more of a connection with them tonight than the rest of the crowd. They were not hard to spot. Although they were in attendance, they gathered in the safety of their group and stood in one corner of the hall, sympathizing with each other, forcing an occasional smile when someone paid their condolences, and then regrouping for support. I, too, felt like I had lost something, although my lover was still alive. Orophin’s advice rang through my head like a constant drum, reminding me of the life I had to give up in order to do my duty.

“Welcome home, Captain,” said a smooth recognizable voice from behind me. I turned, smiling before we faced each other.

“Túron, it is good to see you again. How have things been in Lothlórien in my absence?” I asked.

“As well as can be expected. There were a few skirmishes at the borders, but nothing epic. I don’t think the orcs from Isengard have regrouped yet, and their attempts have been futile.” He took a sip from his wine glass, blue eyes sweeping up over the rim to focus on me. He had been my lover once, and I had no doubt that there were still feelings strewn about in his heart. However, we remained friends and nothing more. “How are you?” he asked, but there was much more in his question than just small talk.

“It’s been difficult, especially with Haldir wounded as he is,” I confessed.

“I heard the news of his injury. It is nothing short of miraculous that he survived. The Valar were with him that day. How goes his recovery?” Túron asked.

“It is slow, but he improves every day,” I smiled. If only he knew the truth, but no one knew. Haldir was very specific about keeping his situation secret, just until he had adjusted to being back home.

“And … Legolas?” Túron asked, voice as light as a mouse.

“He continues his journey with his company. For now, they are in Rohan,” I answered.

“Will he come back to Lothlórien when he is through?”

I narrowed my eyes at Túron. “You are awfully curious for someone who does not usually meddle in the affairs of others.”

He gave a shy smile, knowing that I had caught onto his little game. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry, but you seem very forlorn tonight in the midst of this celebration, and I still worry.”

I glanced around our area, finding it fairly deserted for the moment. I spoke at a careful whisper. “We are still together, though it might be a long time before I see him again. And yes, he will visit the Golden Wood again. You need not worry for me, Túron.”

“That is good then,” he said jovially, but he couldn’t hide his deep feelings from me. I had once known Túron quite as well as I knew myself, and I could sense that he wished perhaps Legolas wasn’t part of my life anymore. Túron would never admit it, but it was there, simmering down low beneath the surface. I wished he would find someone to take away his unrelenting feelings for me.

“Well,” he smiled, changing his demeanor. “Would you care to join me and a few of my friends? We have a table on the opposite side of the hall. I was just coming to fill a plate when I saw you.”

“I would like that, thank you?” I answered and together we made our rounds on the food table, filling our plates and going to join the others at their table.

Actually, it was a nice change to meet and speak with elves who were not soldiers. I’d spent so much time with my regiment and the other Captains recently that it seemed strange to talk about simple everyday complications of city life. I was beginning to enjoy myself and my reprieve from the other side of my life. And then I spotted him across the way, watching me like a hawk.

Raenor, my nemesis, my bane, the one elf in Lothlórien that could send me crashing to the ground. I didn’t turn away, but rather, stared straight back at him until he was the one who had to turn away. Still, he wore a smug look on his face, as though he’d gathered some kind of evidence against me.

“If you’ll excuse me, I believe I need a bit of fresh air,” I said with a smile as I stood from the table.

“Shall I come with you?” Túron asked.

My eyes flashed to Raenor and back to Túron, who carefully glanced back to see who I was looking at. “Oh,” he said, knowing the situation.

“Stay with your friends, and finish out your evening. As a matter of fact, it has been a long day. I believe I will retire for the night. Orophin has yet to enjoy the festivities. It is time that I relieved him,” I suggested with a pleasing smile.

I left the hall, glancing at Raenor as I passed him. His eyes followed me as I went, but he stayed with his group of friends. I did not need his accusatory bullshit tonight. Too many other things weighed on my mind. It was better to be alone for now, I thought to myself as I made my way along one of the catwalks towards Haldir’s quarters. Oh yes, and there was still that to deal with. Haldir hadn’t come to any decisions. We needed to talk soon before the rest of Lothlórien did.

“Captain Rúmil,” someone sang from the shadows of a crossways. Haldir’s home laid to the left, but the voice came from the right. I knew who it was, although we hadn’t met or spoken to each other in a very long time. “My, what a sight for sore eyes.”

“Beldor,” I answered before I saw him. “It has been a very long while.”

He stepped into the light of a lantern, but he was covered by a cloak. He pushed it part way back so I could see him. Beldor had once been a liaison lover of mine, back before I’d met Legolas or even Túron. During a time when I had given up on ever finding someone special to my heart, I’d met Beldor and allowed him to seduce me. We met in secret on many occasions for a nighttime rendezvous. I always made sure I was gone before the sun came up. He had been my guilty pleasure when I needed to alleviate myself of pent up frustrations. Besides that, Beldor was someone I could trust. If he ever had any kind of information, he never hesitated to tell me. That was, no doubt, the reason why he was here now, and so soon after my return from Rohan. Something must have been stewing in my absence.

“What brings you out tonight?” I asked.

He moved back into the shadows, and gestured for me to follow him. I glanced left and right, and then I went with him. “I’m sorry to hear about your brother’s injuries, but I am glad you made it home unscathed,” he admitted.

I wasn’t sure ‘unscathed’ was the right word. I nodded. “Do you bring word?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” he answered. “While you were away, Raenor kept himself busy by befriending some of Orophin’s officers that stayed behind. He plants doubt and suspension in their minds. You are being watched by more than just Raenor.”

I was stunned. “And you think it is safe to speak with me like this?” I was a bit worried.

Beldor reassured me. “Everyone is at the feast for now, but we shouldn’t stay here long. I just wanted you to know.”

“Thank you, Beldor. I know I can always count on you.” I started to walk away, but he reached out and took my forearm.

“Don’t you ever get tired of this?” he asked. “I know you say soldiering is in your blood and you do it because you must, but surely there are times when you wish you didn’t have to.”

I looked to the ground and nodded. “Ai, I do wish it, but there is even more reason now.”

“Because of Haldir?” he asked.

“His wounds are very serious. There is no telling how long it will take him to heal. Someone must take up his position.”

Beldor smiled at me. “They have chosen wisely then. You are a good ellon, Rúmil … fair and true.”

I bowed and thanked him, and then I left to go to Haldir’s home. To my shock, I found Orophin coming up the path, and he stopped when he noticed me. Then he looked past me and saw Beldor. I glanced over my shoulder, but Beldor was already gone. I turned back to my brother, ready for anything he had to say. The pugnacious look on my face kept him from confronting me. Besides, this was my own personal time. I was not in uniform, and I was only talking to an old friend. It was none of his business, and I would argue the point if need be. Fortunately, I didn’t have to say anything because he made no mention of it. He had another message.

“I was just coming to the hall to find you,” he said.

“Is there something wrong?” I wondered anxiously.

“No, all is well, but Haldir wishes to speak with you. He’s finally coming out of his shocked demeanor, at least I think he is.”

“I was just coming to relieve you anyways. Why don’t you go on down to the festivities?” I suggested.

Orophin nodded, but it seemed like he wasn’t in the mood for celebration either. “I think I will. I won’t stay long though.” He started to walk away, but stopped and spoke over his shoulder. “Who was that?”

“Who?” I asked, failing at acting confused.

“You know very well who,” he said in a berating tone. “The ellon that was just over there.”

“Just an old acquaintance. Nothing to be concerned about.”

“Watch yourself, Rúmil. There are eyes everywhere,” he warned.

“So I’ve been told,” I said at a whisper. He paused but said nothing more, and then went on his way.

I went along my way also, going to Haldir’s home to see what he wanted me for. When I got there, the door was unlocked and light spilled from the window. He was awake at least. Now I’d see what it was he wanted. I pushed open the door and let myself in. The house smelled of aromatic tea, the kind my brother liked. Orophin must have made some recently. I’d have nothing to offer except my presence, then.

I entered Haldir’s bedroom, finding him sitting up in bed waiting for me. His eyes lit with kindness when they rested upon me. That, at least, was a good sign. I took a seat at the foot of the bed. “You are looking well, brother. How are you feeling?” I asked.

“I’m alright,” he answered, but I could hear the conflict in his tone. “How was the celebration?”

“Same as usual. Lots of food and dancing, and an endless river of wine. Utterly boring,” I said with a smile, hearing Haldir give a quiet huff of a laugh. I readjusted myself so I was facing him. “Orophin said you asked for me?”

“I think you know why you are here,” he said solemnly. He turned his attention to the lantern sitting by his bedroom window, and watched the flame flicker from a draft coming in.

“Do you think this ailment is temporary?” I asked him. Up until now, Haldir hadn’t said a word about his situation. He’d hardly said a word at all, but I figured he needed time to adjust.

He turned his eyes back to his covered legs and shook his head. “Look at me, Rúmil. I am useless.”

“That’s not true,” I demanded. How could he say such a thing?

“Day after day, every hour I try to move, to feel something, just a twitch or a tingle. There is nothing, nothing at all. I’m bound to my bed, a burden to those I love.”

“You are no burden to me or Orophin. I don’t want you saying these things,” I insisted.

“But it’s true. I must depend on someone to bring me food, open and close my windows, light a fire or lanterns, change my bedding, change my clothes. For Eru’s sake, I can’t even go to the bathroom on my own. I can’t do … one … damn … fucking thing for myself anymore.” The hopelessness in his voice was breaking my heart.

“We have to take this slow, but in time you’ll adjust, and I bet you’ll find that you can do more than you think. We’ll find a way, Hal. I promise we will.” My eyes were beginning to sting as I watched a single tear run down his cheek. He was silent for the longest time, but after a while, he looked up at me with a forlorn expression.

“When I said I should have died that day, I meant it,” he said.

“You are just angry with–”

“No,” he interrupted. “I … should have … died.”

“What are you saying?” I didn’t like this conversation.

Haldir closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It was supposed to be my time.”

“How could you even know that?” I asked cynically.

“Lady Galadriel’s mirror. It showed her my path if I chose to follow it. She gave me a choice that day, when you came in and found me talking to her. Stay in Lothlórien and I was safe, but go to Rohan and it would be my end. I weighed my choice very carefully, and decided that my life was worth giving up to see that a nation of men would not fall prey to the enemy,” he explained, a distant look on his fair face.

“But you lived, proof that what they say about the mirror is true. It does not always shows you the correct outcome,” I said.

“The mirror was right, Rúmil. I did die. I left this earthbound vessel and was about to enter Mandos Hall when I heard you and Orophin calling me back. At that moment my conscience took over, and it forced me to see what I was leaving behind. And then, a voice beyond told me it was indeed my time, and that I needed to disconnect my fëa from the body. But … but I kept hearing you and Orophin telling me to hang on and fight, and suddenly I didn’t want to leave. You two are all I have. There is no one waiting for me in Mandos. Mother and Father are in Valinor, and Eru willing, you and Oro will join them one day. So I did what you asked of me, and I fought, but they weren’t going to let me go so easily. There was a price to pay, I was told, only I didn’t know what that was. I didn’t care. All I knew was that I didn’t want to go, and my loved ones were reaching out to me, holding me to them. I was released, and I reentered my body.”

That must have been when Eymund performed that breathing maneuver on my brother, when he forced air into Haldir’s lungs, breathing for him until he started breathing on his own. Eymund had said that he thought his heart had stopped. “I remember the moment, Haldir. You showed no sign of life, but Eymund brought you back with some strange technique he’d seen performed on a drowned boy. It worked, but maybe it wasn’t all Eymund’s doing.”

“Part of it was, I’m sure, and part of it was my release from Mandos.” He gestured to his legs. “And here I am, my debt paid.”

I looked at him, amazed by his story. “Do you really believe that’s how this came about?”

“This injury should have taken my life, but it didn’t, and it was too serious a wound to escape any permanent damage. So my price was my ability to walk, my position as March warden, as a soldier, as a lover, and anything that made me who I once was. I am alive, but I am nothing to anyone.”

“Stop. You just stop speaking like this,” I said angrily. “You are not ‘nothing’ to me or to Orophin. You are our brother and we love you no matter what you can or can’t do. Nothing will change that so stop talking that way. Do you understand me?”

I don’t think he expected me to retaliate like that. Haldir looked at me as though he didn’t know who I was. I don’t think I’d ever talked to him in such a tone before, but I couldn’t stand it any longer.

Finally, after the shock seemed to wear off, Haldir laughed quietly as he regarded me. “I see I made the right decision to ask you to take up my position.”

Yes, the discussion about March warden, the reason I was here in the first place. When he spoke of this before we entered Rohan, I managed to hold off on giving him an answer, thinking there was no reason to even worry. And suddenly it all hit me like a boulder. “That’s why you insisted on speaking to me about what you wanted to happen in the unlikely event of your death. You knew you weren’t going to survive. I thought it was so odd that you spoke of such things. I couldn’t understand your lack of confidence all of a sudden, but that’s not what it was. You’d already seen your outcome.”

“Well, I couldn’t very well tell you the truth, now could I?” He mocked himself in a jovial tone. “Hey Rú, I’m probably going to die in the next few days, so if it’s all the same to you, I’d like you to take over for me.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” I said unamused. Then I looked at him, finding the remnants of humor that defined his former self. He recognized it also, and quickly buried it in exchange for his dolefulness.

“You know, you never gave me your answer,” he said.

“Maybe this is temporary, and you’ll be walking again in no time,” I said, trying to avoid an answer again.

“The Northern Guard needs to know someone is in control, and temporary or not, the fact is, I can’t do my duty. So will you, Rúmil, take over as March warden?”

I was silent a moment, looking at my hands resting on my lap. I knew I couldn’t very well say no, but I couldn’t ignore the things I’d be giving up. “Before I give you my answer, tell me why it’s me and not Orophin.”

“Orophin would make a fine leader. He’s already a great Captain, and well respected by his men. It would seem the obvious choice, wouldn’t it? He’s second oldest of the three of us. He’s firm and fair, a strong personality, but understanding too. The one thing he isn’t . . .” Haldir paused and watched me. “He isn’t like us. The one thing I know is what it is like to be this way and be a soldier, but I’m not alone and neither are you. There are others like us, and all they want is a chance to make a difference, to fight for those they love and protect their home. I’ve always watched out for them, though they never knew it. You will do the same, Rúmil. You’ll want to watch them, maybe even guide them in some way, see that they follow their dream without risking who they really are. There are those who would rather hunt down soldiers like us, kick them out, and humiliate them. You know of who I speak. I don’t want to see that happen, and neither will you.”

“I understand that much, but Orophin is not like Raenor. He wouldn’t single out anyone who he suspected wasn’t playing by the rules,” I said, defending my brother.

“No he wouldn’t, but he would not give them the benefit of the doubt either. Orophin is a strict follower of the law. He would do his duty as he saw fit, and some very good soldiers would be turned into civilians. Not that he would do it out of fear, hate, disgust or whatever else it might be, but he would do it because that’s what the laws dictate. I would rather bend those laws for certain soldiers because I know how beneficial they are to the army.”

I could see that, and I agreed with Haldir. I knew of at least one of my men that, should he be found out, he would no longer be a soldier in the Lothlórien army. I never confronted him, but I had given him a few words of subtle advice.

“There is another reason I asked you,” Haldir continued. “You have a very strong relationship with Mirkwood. The best thing I ever did was to send you there.”

Wasn’t that the truth, I said to myself, thinking of Legolas.

“You have earned their respect, and they welcome you as one of their own. In these dark times, Lothlórien needs a strong ally, and there is no one more suited to fill that position than Mirkwood. I believe if we call on them again for help, and if you are the messenger of that call, they will not hesitate to come to our aide.”

“Orophin is just as qualified,” I argued.

“Really?” Haldir said skeptically. “You know as well as I that he wouldn’t last a minute in Thranduil’s court. Orophin would be too insistent or lower himself to making threats. He’s too impatient in that way. Thranduil would have him tossed out, and we would lose an important ally.” Haldir tilted his head and observed me. “So, what say you, brother? Will you do this? Will you accept?”

To accept meant going into hiding even deeper than before. There would be no room for a slip up of any kind. Many sets of eyes would be upon me. But this wasn’t my dilemma. It was giving up Legolas, giving up on our dream of being together, something that I wanted very much. It meant living a very isolated life, like Haldir. There would be next to no time to see Legolas. I couldn’t be with him here. I would have to go to Mirkwood to see him, and as March warden, I wouldn’t be able to go very often. My duties would keep me close to home, close to the army. But this is what it always came down to, wasn’t it? I left Fandir to join the army. I turned Túron away to maintain a Captain position. Now I would have to turn Legolas away to be March warden. The three most important relationships I’d encountered in my life, and each one set aside for my soldiering career. How could I set Legolas aside though? What we had was more than a childhood crush or a springtime fling. We had found true love and happiness with each other, something that we knew we’d never find with anyone else. There would never be another for me, only Legolas, and I was sure he felt the same. I couldn’t do this, I suddenly thought as panic built within my chest. I might have been able to turn away from the others, but not from Legolas.

I stood from my seat and paced Haldir’s room, going from the table, to the hearth, and then the window. If I declined, Haldir could find someone else. Perhaps he was wrong about Orophin. Now that he knew about me, perhaps he would be a little more lenient towards others like me. I could speak to him about it, make him realize that an ellon’s sexual preferences had nothing to do with his ability to be a soldier. Orophin would make a very strong March warden. This would be my argument, and I was ready to state my case, when I turned and faced my paralyzed brother, laying in his bed, his eyes pleading for me to accept his offer because I was the only one he trusted to do the job exactly as he thought it needed to be done. How could I disappoint my brother, especially now that his life had been turned upside down? He was in such a fragile state, and I wanted nothing more than to help him. It struck me then that even if I didn’t do as he asked, I could not leave Lothlórien to be with Legolas. Haldir was my brother. He was family, and family was always there for each other. Whether I took the March warden position or remained a Captain, I had to be here for Haldir. He needed both me and Orophin right now. We were the only ones who could help him find some kind of normalcy in his life. He still needed convincing that he was not useless because of his condition. If I left and something happened to Haldir, I’d never forgive myself, and I’d regret that decision for the rest of my days.

I went to Haldir, put my hand over my heart and bowed deep. “I accept, dear brother. I will be March warden of the Northern Guard.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I know this has been a very long time coming. I apologize for the very, very long wait, and I'm sure a lot of my readers gave up on me. I hit a brick wall while writing this chapter. I just couldn't figure out where to go with it. My muses all left me. I decided to take a break and come back fresh, and in the process, discovered another fandom that I enjoyed writing for. Anyways, I'm back, and I am refreshed and ready to finish this story. My creative juices are flowing again, so here we go, and I won't stop until this story is done. Again, I am sorry for the long wait, and if you're reading this, thank you for coming back. **IdrilsSecret**

It had been a few weeks since the feast for the returning soldiers. Everyone seemed to be getting reacquainted and back to normal routines. I, on the other hand, was preparing for the announcement of my new position as March warden. Not only that, but Haldir was preparing to tell all of Lothlórien about his condition. Many people would be shocked, no doubt. As far as anyone knew, he was just recovering from severe and near fatal injuries that he incurred in battle at Helm’s Deep. No one would be expecting this news, and I was nervous about the reaction.

Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn already knew. The day after the feast, Haldir requested to speak with them, and they came to his home. I wasn’t there for that meeting. I had business to tend to in preparation for my army advancement, but I wondered how it went. Galadriel was the one who had seen Haldir fall in battle and warned him of his future. Haldir would have told her about his near death experience, and of how he came back despite what her mirror had predicted. He chose a different path and paid the ultimate price. Still, he survived and he was still here with us.

Haldir always put on a good show for visitors and his healers. He was always positive and in good spirits. It was when everyone left that he showed his true form. He was not adjusting well. He had told me that he had dreams of walking and running, doing everyday chores. He was content until he woke up, and then it all came crashing back to him, the truth. And every morning was like finding out for the first time that he’d could not walk.

“It’s like I’m me in my dreams, but when I’m awake, I’m living a nightmare,” he told me, and my heart went out to him. “Every morning, I pray to Eru that I can walk, and every morning I am disappointed yet again.”

“What we need to do is get you out of your house for a while. You’ve been cooped up in here since we returned,” I suggested.

“And just how are we going to do that? Are you going to throw me over your shoulder and carry me, or would you rather drag my half lifeless body behind you?” he scowled.

“Lucky for you, you have the two best brothers anyone could ask for,” I said proudly. “Orophin and I have been in discussion about this for a while, and we took our ideas to the farrier.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked curiously.

“Orophin and I put our heads together, and we came up with something we think will work for you.” I smiled and called out. “You can bring it in, Orophin.” The front door swung open, and Orophin backed in with our present, wheeling it into the bedroom.

This was my first time seeing the finished product, and I marveled over the construction. Basically, it was a chair with wheels, two large ones at the front sides, and two smaller ones in the back. There was a panel attached at the front edge of the seat, where Haldir’s calves would rest, and at the bottom, another piece of wood where his feet would sit. The larger wheels had a second round bar attached to the outside, and Orophin demonstrated how to use these to maneuver the chair by hand.

“It’s really quite simple,” Orophin explained. “You grasp it here and push forward and down, making the chair move forward. Pull backwards and the chair moves that way. If you want to turn, only move one wheel.” Orophin rolled forward, backward and in a circle to show our brother how it worked. “You’ll only need help getting into the chair from your bed, but then you can go anywhere about the city. And if you’re tired and wish for someone else to take you, there is a bar on the back of the chair that your assistant can push you around by.

Haldir studied it a moment before he said anything. It was difficult to judge what he was thinking; he always kept his emotions to himself. We waited for his reaction.

“A wheeled chair,” Haldir said skeptically.

“Exactly,” Orophin and I said simultaneously.

I could see the excitement in his eyes, though Haldir refused to show any kind of outward cheer. I went to him and put my hand on his shoulder. “Soon, you’ll be telling everyone about your condition, and when you do, it should come from you, not someone reading something you wrote. The people want to see you, Haldir. They’ll want to know you will be alright. They’ll be thrilled to see that you still have some of your independence. This device can give you that.”

“We still need you, Hal. The army still needs you. All these years you’ve kept Lothlórien safe, not because you are a fine warrior in battle, but because of the plans and maneuvers you create,” Orophin said, getting up from the chair. “You are still the heart and mind of the Northern Guard.”

“You see? You can still be involved,” I added, giving more confidence. “You don’t have to be doomed to this dreaded bed forever. Now, I’m not saying it won’t take some getting used to, especially navigating the walkways, but in time–”

“Thank you Rúmil … Orophin,” he interrupted, his eyes fogging up. “I really never imagined being … being able to … to . . .” his words trailed off. “It’s like having a second chance.”

“You are a part of this army,” I said. “You always will be as long as you dwell on these shores. Your input is important to all of us. We still need you. I need you, especially as I make my transition to March warden. But we all still want you making the calls when it’s time to do battle. There is no one in Lothlórien who is a better strategist.”

“Thank you,” Haldir whispered. “Thank you both for this gift.”

“Alright, enough of this. Are you ready to give it a go or what?” Orophin said impatiently.

“What are we waiting for,” Haldir said excitedly.

Orophin and I helped him into the chair. It was a little awkward, but as we figured out a system, it would become easier. And then, Haldir was rolling around his home, getting acquainted with the wheeled seat. As he went from bedroom to living room, and then into the kitchen, I took note of certain things that would need to be adjusted for his new height. The butcher’s table was too high, but that was an easy fix. Some of the windows would need to be lowered. I made a mental list that I would take to the farrier and some of our architects. My goal was to make Haldir’s house as accessible as possible so he could do a lot of things for himself.

Haldir tired easily and soon we put him back into his bed. It was a good first try with the chair, and he seemed to take to it quickly. Once we got him settled, he was exhausted and ready for a nap, but the healers came to change his bandages. The wound was still healing, although it looked much better. Orophin and I stood just outside, allowing Haldir his privacy, and also to talk about the day’s events. We were both ecstatic about Haldir’s positive response to the chair.

“He’s been in such a slump lately,” Orophin commented.

“I know. I’ve been worried about him, especially when he says some of the things he’s said. But I really think this is going to change everything for him,” I said.

While we were speaking and waiting for the healers to finish up, a messenger came up to me and handed me a letter. The first thing I noticed was the horse head stamped into the wax seal. It was from Rohan. Orophin saw it too.

“Has something happened?” he asked with concern.

“I don’t know.” I hurried to open it, worried what I might find inside. Had Saruman attacked again? I didn’t think he could. He was being held prisoner in his tower, which was surrounded by water and patrolled by Ents. Still, he might have been able to get a message out to any orcs that were still loyal to him. After reading the first line, relief washed over me. “It’s a letter from Legolas,” I smiled, and quickly folded it up so my brother wouldn’t see. “A private letter, nothing more.”

Orophin looked straight ahead, but his brows furrowed with agitation. I tucked the letter inside my tunic and hoped he’d stay silent, but no such luck. “This is the sort of thing that could damage you,” he said quietly.

“For Eru’s sake, Oro, it’s just a letter,” I countered, already on the defensive. “What would you have me do, send it back?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. What do you think would happen if that got into the wrong hands?” he argued.

“We are very discreet in our correspondence. I’m sure there is nothing in there that would raise suspicion,” I argued.

“The fact that it came from Legolas will raise enough eyebrows without anything else being said. You must understand. You are in a very high position within the Lothlórien army now. Once Haldir makes his announcement, all eyes will be on you for leadership. What will it look like should the truth come out about one of our own wardens?”

I stepped away from him, my ire mixed with concern that what he was saying was right. “What do you want from me, Orophin? Should I tell Legolas never to contact me again? Well, I cannot do that. It’s difficult enough to know we will not see each other as often.”

“You shouldn’t see each other at all. It never should have happened in the first place. I am taking a risk at knowing the truth and not reporting it. But you are my brother, and I love you. All I want is to see you happy and successful, and that is a risk I am willing to take as long as you are willing to do your part.”

I moved away from the door where we stood outside of Haldir’s home, and looked out over the forest around us. This place was no sanctuary for me anymore. “I’ve done my part from the very beginning by sacrificing my happiness for success. I cannot have both, and I’ve known that all my life. I just hoped that this time–”

“This time is no different,” Orophin interrupted with sternness. “Did you think that by becoming a warden, your options would be easier? The truth is, they are even less now. Your life belongs to the army. The lives of your troops are in your hands. Every decision you make from here on out must be done with careful consideration for those who depend on you. This includes personal choices.” He came up behind me and spoke close to my ear. “The best thing for everyone in this is to let go of Legolas.”

I stood next to my brother, not saying a word, not looking at him. After a while I whispered lightly. “You make it sound as easy as freeing a caged bird, but what is one to do when that bird knows it belongs to you, and you belong to it?” I shook my head slowly back and forth. “You just don’t understand, Orophin. Legolas and I … we belong to each other. It is not some fling or some passing fancy. We love each other, deeply, and that is not something to toss away lightly.”

“It’s a dangerous game you are playing,” Orophin said with warning. “One I fear you will not win.”

“I don’t want to win. I just want to be.”

The door opened and one of the healers poked her head out. “You can come back in now,” she said with a smile before she went back inside.

Orophin and I stood there a moment, neither one of us feeling that we were finished with our conversation. Finally I turned to him and asked him the burning question on my mind. “Are you against Haldir’s choice to make me March warden? Is that why you are so adamant about all of this?”

“Truth?” he asked after a long pause. I nodded and he continued. “Yes … but,” he added quickly, “not because I don’t think you’d make a fine leader.” He turned from me, searching for the right words. “You know how much is at stake here. You’ve already been put under accusations once, with that whole Túron debacle.”

“Through no fault of my own, I assure you that,” I countered.

He opened his mouth to retaliate, but decided to stay on point. “All of our careers, our whole family, you, me and Haldir, as well as our family name will ride upon your shoulders. One slip, one tiny mistake, and everything we’ve ever strived for, everything Father ever wanted for us will cease to exist. We will be thrown right out on our arses. I don’t like being in this position, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t happen.”

I looked him squarely in the eyes. “Thank you very much for your vote of confidence, dear brother.” I left him and reached for the door handle.

“Rúmil, you must understand–”

“I understand perfectly well,” I seethed. “Fine, you don’t want me to take up Haldir’s position, then I will tell him I don’t want it,” I threatened.

“Wait, don’t do anything so drastic,” he said following me into the house. “I was only trying to warn you, to make you realize how serious the situation can turn.”

I spun on my heel, Orophin almost running into me, and pointed my finger towards him. “I’ve spent nearly my entire existence protecting myself and our family to keep that very thing from happening. Don’t you think I know this already? What do you think I’m going to do, use my new rank to go whoring around the city, playing some game of ‘catch me if you can’?” I marched to Haldir’s room, not waiting for an answer.

“You are blowing this out of proportion, Rúmil,” he said, chasing after me.

“Am I?” I burst into Haldir’s bedroom. The two healers jumped and spun towards me, caught off guard by my abrupt entrance. “Are you finished here? I need to speak to my brother in private,” I addressed the healers. They nodded, picked up their belongings and left quickly. I felt bad chasing them off like that, but I was at my wits end with Orophin.

“What is all the urgency?” Haldir asked, adjusting himself in his bed as he sat up straighter.

“I’ve come to decline your offer,” I announced pugnaciously.

“What?” Haldir asked. He looked from me to Orophin, and Oro stepped forward quickly.

“He’s just upset. I was speaking with him about the importance of becoming March warden–”

“Speaking with me?” I shouted, not meaning to raise my voice. I looked down at Haldir. “It seems our brother has no faith in me even before I’ve been given a chance to prove myself. He’s much too focused on my personal life and my relationship with Legolas, as though I won’t know how to conduct myself without being outed. Well, I cannot help who I am or who I love, so I would rather not have Orophin looking over my shoulder every minute of every day. You’ve picked the wrong brother. Oro should be March warden, not me, since I’m nothing more than a sexually crazed lunatic.” I knew I was being ridiculous, but I was so mad that I wasn’t thinking straight.

Orophin ran his hand through his hair, his own patience seeming to run thin at this point. Haldir watched us both for a moment before he finally spoke. “I’ll have you know that Orophin and I had this discussion before I went to you with my proposal,” he said to me. “We spoke of it quite extensively, and I was very clear when I told him to enlighten me with any and all concerns he might have had. In the end, Orophin,” he paused, looking hard at my brother, “agreed with my choice wholeheartedly. So why do I find you both here with your dander in a ruffle? What started all of this?”

I reached into my tunic and took out the sealed letter. “I received correspondence from Legolas. A messenger brought it while we were waiting for the healers to change your dressing. Orophin instantly assumed that it was some form of love letter that, if found in the wrong hands, could expose me.”

“Do you not agree that it might raise suspicions if multiple letters from the Prince of Mirkwood are delivered to Rúmil, especially after so many years of silence between the two realms?” Orophin said to argue his point.

“Somehow, I get the feeling that this is about more than a letter,” Haldir said. “Orophin, will you leave us, and allow me to speak with Rúmil? We won’t be long.”

Orophin shook his head and turned to leave. “Take your time. I’ve got business to attend to.” We watched him exit, and I didn’t speak until I heard the front door shut.

I sat down on a chair and sighed deeply, shaking my head. “I don’t know, Haldir. Perhaps you made the wrong decision when you asked me to become March warden. Maybe Orophin is right. It’s a much bigger risk having me take up this position.”

“Is that what he told you?” Haldir asked.

“Not in so many words, but I noted the gist of his message. I know you told me why you chose me over Orophin, but he makes a good point. There are those who are already suspicious. They’ll be watching my every move. I’m not sure I can lead under that kind of pressure.”

“You can if you make deeper sacrifices,” Haldir said.

“Is that how you did it?”

“I dedicated myself to the position, put the army before my own happiness, and covered any tracks that might lead back to me. It is not an easy life for someone like us, but it’s not impossible. That being said, Orophin does have a point when he says you must abandon certain aspects of your life. It is the only way to truly be safe.”

I looked at my brother, realizing that he didn’t know the full scope of my devotion to Legolas. “You are asking me to make the biggest sacrifice I’ve ever had to consider.”

“If he loves you as you say he does, he will be there waiting for you. One day you will sail, and so will he. Then you can be devoted to each other. But I’m afraid now is not the time,” Haldir said a gently as possible.

“And if I say no to you?”

“I hope you won’t. I know you are the right choice, and I’ll feel secure with your acceptance. However, I can’t force you into it. This must be your decision.”

And just like that, I knew there was no way out of this. “I won’t abandon you, brother. I can’t. So I will do this.” 

“And Legolas?” he wondered.

“Can I just not worry about that for now? He is off on his mission, and he might not be back this way for a long time. I’ll deal with that when the time is right.” I knew that by putting it this way, it left things open for me to try and find a way to make it work. Haldir knew this too. I could see it in his eyes, as he told me it couldn’t work. I didn’t think that was true, and maybe during his absence, I would come up with a foolproof way to still be with Legolas and do my duty as March warden.

“Do not wait too long,” he advised. “You may end up losing him for good.”

“I won’t let that happen,” I said, but doubt tiptoed across my thoughts.

I left Haldir’s home and made my way to mine before I took the letter from Legolas out of my tunic and read it. He wrote it while still in Rohan, but they would have left a while ago by now, for he wrote this on the eve of their parting. Gandalf was successful in getting the beacons lit, and the Rohirrim were now heading to Gondor to aid them in the war. Just as I said, there was nothing in the letter that would have made anyone suspicious, although he made references to finding sanctuary and safety, our code words to each other. No one would have known that.

I put the letter down and laid down on my couch, staring at the ceiling as I thought about what Orophin and Haldir said. Both mentioned giving up on my hope at normal. Both said that in order to do my job successfully, I would have to put my personal life to the wayside. That was easy for them to say. Orophin wouldn’t have to do such a thing. His relationship with an elleth was not controversial. Haldir never allowed himself to become attached to anyone in the first place. My situation was much different, but I would find a way to keep things as they were without anyone knowing about Legolas and me. Once my brothers saw how careful I was, they wouldn’t question me anymore. However it worked out, I would not give up on Legolas. I would not push him to the side. He was too important to me. I would find a way.

* * * * *

The day finally came when Haldir held a meeting with all the wardens and captains, as well as Lord Celeborn. It was my brother’s first time out of his house in his mobile chair. Everyone was intrigued by the invention, and Haldir actually seemed to like showing it off. He’d had time to practice, and he was good at maneuvering it. He drew quite the crowd, and everyone wanted to know about its design. I watched my brother smile as he impressed them. The thing about Haldir was that he liked having the attention focused on him. I was opposite when it came to that line of thinking. I preferred not to draw the eyes of onlookers, and went about my daily business with very little observation from outside parties. Haldir liked being the center of everyone’s awareness, though. I wondered how he managed to keep his secrets secure while being in the public eye. Orophin was wrong, I thought to myself. If Haldir could do it then so could I. The only difference was that Haldir’s affairs were very discreet and with civilians who had nothing to do with the army. My relationship was more difficult to hide, but it could easily be seen as diplomacy between Lórien and Mirkwood. It was important to keep communication open with the Wood elves, and after my return from there, everyone saw me as the main person to handle that part of things. My relations with Mirkwood were very successful. And as the new March warden, I could plan meetings more frequently than my brother ever did. And of course, my other agenda was to see Legolas. I was fairly sure it would work out, even if we had to give up on the idea of living together in his home.

“I have gathered you all here today to make an important announcement,” Haldir said, starting the meeting. “I will be announcing this to our whole community, but I thought it best to tell my friends and fellow soldiers first. As you can see,” he said gesturing to his chair. “I am not ready to take back the reins. I am still healing from my wounds. However, the extent of my injuries go much further than what the eye sees.”

There was a low mumble from the attendees, but they quickly hushed and waited for the rest of Haldir’s speech. “The hatchet that struck me went quite deep, and it did damage to certain nerves and parts of my spine. I am not in this wheeled seat because I am still weak. I have lost the use of my legs, and it seems to be permanent.”

People started talking to their neighbors as though Haldir wasn’t in the room. The level of concern was great. A wave of discussion spread from one side of the room to the other. Someone in the back of the room spoke out and asked the question that everyone was asking each other. “What about your position as March warden?”

“If I can’t walk, then I can’t complete my duties,” Haldir answered. “And that brings me to my other reason for gathering you all here. I must step down from my position as March warden, and in doing so, I have to choose my replacement. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to your new March warden of the Northern Guard, my brother, Rúmil.” Overall, the response was positive, with most elves clapping and smiling, happy with Haldir’s choice. Only a few, a small group of ellon in the back, did not clap, choosing instead to glare at me, and of course, Raenor was their leader. As I looked around the room, smiling to my new supporters, I made sure to tip my head to Raenor. The look of irritation on his face was priceless.

“That seemed to go well,” I said after we left the meeting. Haldir agreed.

“Just keep your eye out for Raenor. And, by the way, I saw you antagonizing him. Was that really necessary?” Haldir scolded.

“I thought so. You know me. I can never turn down a chance to rub something in his face,” I smiled arrogantly. “I know exactly what he will do next. He’ll run off to see the Lord and Lady, but of course, they already gave their approval. You know, I think I’m already beginning to like my new position.”

“Don’t make enemies so fast. You and Raenor are on the same playing field now, as both of you are March wardens. Don’t think he’ll go easy on you just because you are at the same ranking level,” Haldir warned me.

“I don’t give two shits about him. There’s nothing he can do to me,” I said, feeling extremely accomplished.

“Just be careful, Rúmil. You’ve been warned.”

* * * * *

Weeks turned into months, and I’d hardly had any time to myself since taking up my new position. Honestly, I didn’t know what everyone was worried about. Raenor would have nothing on me except all the hours I was putting into my job. I never realized just how much Haldir did around here. No wonder he always seemed so uptight and stiff. I loved my job though, even if it took up almost every minute in my day. I was a bit worried about how I would see Legolas once he returned from war. We had originally planned to meet in Mirkwood as often as we could, but now I wasn’t sure it would be often enough. Between countless daily meetings, recruiting, training, organizing marches, strategizing tactics, there just weren’t enough hours. I did manage to open correspondence with Mirkwood, notifying King Thranduil of the change from Haldir to me. I thought it best to give him time to get used to the idea of dealing with me from now on. Hopefully, it would make things go a little smoother if ever the time came when Lothlórien asked Mirkwood for assistance. Thranduil and Haldir never quite saw eye to eye, but I liked to think that I earned his respect from my visit.

Ai, it seemed like an age ago. I’d been sent as a simple messenger by my brother, Haldir, and unexpectedly fell in love with the Prince. It was such a wonderful and fulfilling time, and I badly desired to visit and recreate some of the magic. And as I tended to my daily duties as March warden, I wondered where I would find the time.

I hadn’t heard from Legolas in months either. I didn’t have much time to think of anything but my duties, but when I finally laid in my bed at night, this was what I thought of. Surely, he could have found a moment to write even the smallest note just to tell me he was alright. What was happening out there? Did he go to Gondor? Did he ever make it to Mordor with the rest of his fellowship? I thought that if something terrible happened to him, I would definitely have heard something. Legolas was a Prince, after all, and it would be very big news, as well as devastating. Then again, he was traveling inconspicuously, leaving his title behind and introducing himself as nothing more than a simple wood elf, so as not to draw attention to his company. I decided not to let my mind wander in that direction. I would have heard, and that was that. And since no news was good news, I had to hope it wouldn’t be much longer before I saw him again. After all, he said he would come to me on his way home.

Today, like every day, I paid a visit to Haldir on my way to my office. The nurses would be finishing up with his exercises about now. I approached his door and was shocked to hear yelling from within. I cracked the door open and listened as Haldir berated the nurses.

“I don’t understand why we must keep doing this every day. Nothing seems to make a difference,” he complained.

“If we stop, you’ll never get better,” the nurse retaliated.

I went to his bedroom to try and mediate the conflict. “What’s going on here?”

The nurse turned to me, clearly fed up with Haldir. “Your brother is being more than his usual difficult self this morning.”

“Are you giving this sweet elleth a hard time?” I asked him to try and lighten the mood.

“I don’t want to do this today. Can’t I just have one morning to myself?” Haldir argued.

I looked back at the nurse, and walked her out of the bedroom. The other nurse followed us. “Perhaps I’ll tend to my brother this morning.”

She threw her hands up in defeat. “Better you than me. I’m sorry, March warden, but your brother is becoming increasingly difficult with each day that passes. There’s only so much I can do, but if he refuses to put in the effort–”

“Let me speak with him, and find out what he’s thinking. I thank you for your time and generosity. Is there anything I can do for you?” I was trying to make the moment end on a happier note.

“You can talk to him, and make him understand that this is a long process. However, I don’t know how much more of his abuse I can take. Haldir is entering into another phase, I believe. This one is anger. We’re passed fear and depression, although the latter could still be a factor.”

“I’ll see what I can do, and hopefully the next time you come for an appointment, he will be in a much more agreeable mood,” I promised.

“Thank you March warden. I worry for your brother, but only he can see his path.”

And that original path was disrupted by me and Orophin. Galadriel’s mirror showed a completely different outcome after the battle at Helm’s Deep. However, that wasn’t the case now. He was here with us, and our brotherhood was still intact. Perhaps that was part of Haldir’s problem. He had prepared himself to go to Mandos Hall, which I imagine took a lot of mind rearrangement. How bad could it be to know you were still alive?

I walked back into his bedroom, and Haldir was sitting at the edge of his bed. “Why are you giving them so much backlash?” I asked.

“I’ve been doing this for months now, with no new results. Let’s face it Rú, I’m never going to walk again. This is me now. This is what I’ve become, so why can’t everyone let me be?”

“You know this is a slow process,” I reminded him, but he wouldn’t look at me. “Won’t you at least come to the daily meeting today? You haven’t been to one all week.”

“I really in no mood today. Help me into my chair, Rúmil. Then you can be on your way. I have things I need to tend to around the house.”

There was no arguing with him. His mind was made up. “Alright,” I agreed reluctantly. After I helped him, I stayed while he put water on for tea. It was easier for Haldir to get around his home with all the adjustments. I thought for sure this would make his life easier, but now I wasn’t so sure it was a reminder of what his life had become.

* * * * *

Another meeting was finished, and I only had a few spare moments to speak with Orophin before I needed to be somewhere else. He had already mentioned the absence of our eldest brother, but I had no time to explain.

“I’m afraid he isn’t taking his therapy seriously,” I was saying as I explained the situation from this morning. “He’s been getting rather angry and lashing out to those who are trying to help, mainly his nurses. I’m afraid he’s going to scare them away.”

“It’s just a phase,” Orophin said. I got the feeling he was trying to avoid our conversation.

“It’s more than that. Little by little, he’s doing less of his exercises, and he hasn’t been to a meeting all week.”

“He’ll be here next week. We’ll make sure of it,” Orophin tried to convince me. “Now, we need to organize the troops, separate them into two groups and take a look at the new recruits.”

Orophin was just as bad as Haldir. Where Haldir was giving up on improving his situation, Orophin was just trying to ignore the whole thing. I was the only one looking at this as an outsider. “If we don’t do something soon–”

“You worry too much Rú. Come now. We’ve got work to tend to.”

After that, I got quite busy, but I still managed to check on Haldir whenever I found time. He didn’t seem to be any worse, which was good, but his attitude was still not as positive as it had been at one time. For the time being, I let it go. At least he was making some kind of effort. He started coming to meetings again, but only once or twice a week. I made sure to include my brother in every decision, but I found that I was making the calls and asking his opinion, in which every answer was a simple agreement. I still had to believe that if I was making a bad call Haldir would call me out on it. I had to admit to myself that my job was becoming easier by the moment, and I was rather enjoying it too.

And then came the day when the army was called to action. I received word from Mirkwood that they asked for aid in cleansing part of the Rhovanion. The orcs were scarce since Dol Guldur had been neutralized, but spiders and a few other dark creatures still tried to claim the forest as their home. A nest had been reportedly building along an area on the outskirts of the woods. A request came from Thranduil himself asking Lothlórien to take on this task, as Mirkwood’s army had their hands full closer to home. They didn’t want to spare the men because they were all needed where they were. Thranduil feared this was the intention of the enemy, to have the Mirkwood army spread thin and attack them, which would diminish their numbers. They may have been nothing more than insects, but they were intelligent, and that’s what made them so dangerous.

I prepared my men, gathered the required troops and marched to our destination. We weren’t expected to see any of the Mirkwood army. They were stationed close to the palace where they were under attack. Lothlórien was called to vanquish the problem at a further distance and lessen the amount of enemy. This would make the fight more manageable. I was curious as to why the spiders were behaving sporadically. Their attack pattern was irregular for the breed. They would usually lie in wait and attack unsuspecting prey or wait for the orcs to herd victims towards their lairs. Perhaps it was the absence of orcs that forced the spiders to behave in a desperate way. Whatever it was, it was very unlike them. I knew because during my time here, Legolas taught me about their strategy.

The brief thought of his name sent a jolt through my heart. How I wished he was here. Mirkwood wasn’t the same without his presence. Although I was only on the outer edge of the Rhovanion, I still considered this his land and his home. I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was a vibe of sadness in the air. Perhaps it was the trees sending out their emotions. No one else would feel it except me. I knew this place better than any of the other Lórien elves, and the trees resonated through me in a way they did not for anyone else. They missed their Prince, and I did too. We were one in the same in that way, and I thought they were actually reaching out to me, searching for an answer. Had I more time, I might have been able to sit within their boughs and communicate the reason for his absence. Maybe it would help them. Maybe it would help me too. I missed Legolas terribly, but I had pushed those emotions deep inside. With my new position, Haldir recovering, Orophin pestering me to not do anything rash, and Raenor’s ever watchful eye, there just wasn’t enough time to dwell on my lonely heart.

The battle was a success. Lothlórien subverted the enemy and cleared the area in which we were assigned. We suffered no deaths or poisonings. The only injuries were bruises, cuts, scrapes and a couple broken bones, all minor, all recoverable. We had a short retreat before deciding when to make our way back home, giving the injured time to recharge before the journey. I set up sentries to guard the area while tents were pitched. We would stay a total of two nights and then be off. My tent was the first erected and now I sat at my small makeshift desk composing a message to be sent to King Thranduil. I was letting him know that we cleared this section of the Rhovanion, and that our army’s survival rate was one hundred percent.

As I was scripting my letter, one of my men interrupted me. “My lord, you have a visitor, a soldier from the Mirkwood army.”

I was a bit confused. “I didn’t think anyone would be coming.”

“She says she has information for you, and that she will relay any messages that you have for the elven King,” said my soldier.

“She?” I questioned, more to myself than to my man. “I wonder … No, could it be? Send her in,” I said enthusiastically.

To my surprise, I had guessed correctly. Through the flap in my tent, I heard her before I saw here. “I don’t need your help finding my way through a piece of material,” she complained, and I expecting less. She entered with her usual saltiness, and I was never so happy to see her sour mug.

“Corweth, words cannot express my–” I started.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before.” She paused and looked me over from head to toe. “Well, look at you. All grown up. March warden I hear. I’m impressed.” She looked out of the corner of her eye to the sentry just inside my tent.

“That will be all,” I told him. “You may leave. I’d like to speak to our Mirkwood guest in private,” I told him. He nodded, bowed and left us.

Once she was sure it was just the two of us, Corweth seemed to exhale as she came to me. Then she smiled as I’d never known her to do. “Rúmil, it is good to see you.” She reached for me and pulled me in for a hug.

“Have you been poisoned?” I asked in a facetious manner, and she slapped my arm. I smiled. “It is good to see you too, Corweth. How have you been?”

“I’m doing alright,” she admitted in a humbled way. “It’s been rough without my sister, but I’ve learned how to manage.”

“Something tells me that’s the short answer,” I said.

“It is, and it is all I have time for right now. I bring news. Actually, it might be helpful in understanding why these spider attacks have broken out so suddenly.”

“Yes, I have wondered why. It is a very unusual thing that they attack as they have been, and I’m glad that Lothlórien could be of service to your King,” I said formally.

“I’ve just learned of a disturbance, and word came not long ago that Sauron has been destroyed,” she said enthusiastically.

“What?” I asked disbelievingly.

“It’s true. A message was sent by carrier hawk. It would have only happened a day ago,” she confirmed.

“And you trust this information? You don’t think it was sent by the enemy to draw our armies into the open.” I was still skeptical.

“The letter came from Legolas. It is his handwriting and his seal was found. It’s over, Rúmil. We have won the war.”

I was in shock and I went to my chair and collapsed onto it. “And the spiders? How do they tie in?”

“I’m assuming that when Sauron was destroyed so was his hold on all the evil doers in his regime. That included the spiders whose wills were twisted to do his bidding. They panicked without his voice in their heads and began attacking on their own … probably out of fear more than anything. One last-ditch effort to carry out their dark lord’s intentions. But they were confused and unorganized. They are not the kind of creatures who attack first.”

This was all well and fine, but my attention was more focused on the message sender. “You said Legolas sent the message. So you have heard from him?”

“Yes. Why? Haven’t you?”

I shook my head slowly. “It has been a very long time.”

Corweth laid a gentle hand on my arm and gained my attention with her smile. “He is coming home.”

“That is wonderful news,” I smiled in return, but it was forced. Why didn’t Legolas tell me this? Why didn’t he send me a message too? Corweth must have seen my questioning gaze.

“Now, now. Don’t start making too much out of nothing. Carrier hawks are difficult to come by, and they only travel to one destination. Of course Legolas would notify his father first. I’m sure, though, that he was scrambling to find another way of notifying you.”

“I’m sure you are right,” I agreed and increased the stretch of my smile to convince her.

We finished our conversation and said our farewells. Corweth had to be on her way immediately. When she was gone, I shared the news of Sauron’s defeat with my Captains, and they shared it with their troops. We packed up our camp and eventually made our way back to Lothlórien. I was sure that by the time we got home, Lady Galadriel would have heard the new also. A huge celebration would be the next thing to take place, but I already wasn’t in much of a mood for a party. I wanted to know why Legolas didn’t write all these long months, and I wanted to know why he couldn’t tell me the good news.


	21. Chapter 21

I was back home in Lothlórien, and things had been quite hectic. The news of Sauron’s defeat did nothing to lessen my duties. In fact, it seemed to increase them tenfold. I had always imagined that when this day came, everything would slow down. Maybe it would eventually, but for now, I barely had a moment to myself. I slacked off on my personal time, which included hovering over my brother Haldir to make sure he was sticking to his therapy, and coming to meetings. The times I did see him were difficult. He wasn’t angry like he had been. He was becoming more despondent with every day that passed, it seemed. He stopped arguing with his nurses, and was only going through the motions. If I managed to get him to a meeting, he would not contribute. He just sat in his wheeled chair and stared out of a window. When asked a question, he would nod and agree with whomever was speaking. I was very worried for him, and I wanted to find a way to bring him back to us. Orophin noticed Haldir’s behavior too, but he just kept telling me it was a phase, another step in his recovery. Well, falling into an abyss of depression was hardly what I would call a step, at least not a step in the right direction.

It had been a couple months since the deterioration of Mordor, but things were moving at such an unusually fast pace for Lothlórien that I’d hardly noticed the time that passed by. I was in my office doing this and signing that when one of my young couriers interrupted me.

“What is it?” I said a bit too harshly. I was in the middle of something that I’d put off far too long and was just now getting to it.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, March warden, but … but … there is someone here to see you,” he stammered and stopped.

“Someone? Someone could be anyone, and if anyone is here to see me, then they need to set up a time and come back then. I have too much to do at the moment.”

“This is not just anyone, March warden,” the young ellon said in a mousy voice.

“Who is it then?” I said impatiently.

“It is … uh … it’s someone important … um … and–”

Why was he dragging this out, I wondered as my ire built. “Well, spit it out. I don’t have all day,” I demanded, not even looking up from my paperwork.

“Is this how you treat your young and impressionable future soldiers?” someone said.

I knew that velvety voice like I knew my own hand. I looked up from my work and there he was. “Le-Legolas,” I stuttered, shocked by the suddenness of seeing him.

“Hello, March warden,” he answered, but with a softness to his voice.

I stared at him drop jawed for what felt like an hour. All those things I dreamed of saying and doing when we finally met again came rushing to the front of my mind, but I was suddenly paralyzed, like one of those horrible dreams where you are trying to run but your feet are anchored in the mud. I finally snapped out of it and addressed my courier. “That is all. And please tell Cundo not to allow any interruptions until I say otherwise. I would like to speak to the Prince in private and without intrusion.”

“Yes, March warden,” the youth said as he left.

Legolas watched him go, and then turned to me. “He seems a bit star struck. Good to know my title can still make some people flustered. It feels strange actually. I’m so used to being regarded by my given name and treated as an ordinary citizen.”

“Wh-What are you doing here?” I asked, ignoring his previous comment.

“I came for no other reason than to see you, of course.” He smiled at me, and the love that was there the last time we had met was still within his blue depths.

When I was sure we were really alone, I came out from behind my desk. I walked up to Legolas and stopped. It felt like a dream. It seemed as though he was just an apparition that would disappear as soon as I reached for him. Instead, Legolas reached for me first. He gently took my hands, and studied them before raising his eyes to meet mine.

“Rúmil,” he said in a breathy whisper.

“It is good to see you,” I said, forgetting how to behave around him.

“Is that the best you can do?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“I’m not sure what you want me to–”

“Just kiss me,” he said desperately, and he pulled me into him, took my chin in his fingers, and proceeded to kiss me with determined lips.

I let him kiss me before I gave in and fell under his spell. My conscience wouldn’t let me enjoy our reunion too long. This wasn’t exactly the most ideal place for us to interact. I pulled away first. “Legolas, I … I cannot.”

“Why not? You told them not to disturb you.”

“I know, but they don’t always do as I say,” I told him. It was true. With the rush of activity, sometimes word got lost. We weren’t really safe to be ourselves here.

“You are March warden, are you not? Don’t you have control over your men?” He said it in a teasing manner.

“Things work a little differently here. Yes, I’m in charge, but I must also make myself available,” I told him.

“And when do you sleep?” he smiled.

“Remind me what the word means,” I smiled back.

“Oh, Rúmil, I’m afraid you’ll not learn the meaning from me, for sleep will not come to you once we are alone,” he said suggestively.

It was so easy to fall back into our natural routine, but the fact was it had been a very long time since we’d seen each other, and I was feeling overwhelmed by his sudden appearance. One thing was bothering me, though, and I just couldn’t let it slip unnoticed. My face turned serious, and I looked away from him. “This is too much to process. You do realize you’ve been gone for almost a year, and without so much as a word written to let me know how you were.”

Legolas sighed, obviously hoping this subject wouldn’t come up. “I know and I am sorry, but there was never an ideal time or place where I could sit down and write to you.”

“You wrote to your father,” I said a bit bitterly. He seemed surprised that I knew. “I met Corweth in Mirkwood when my army was called to assist yours. She told me of Sauron’s defeat.”

He nodded slowly. “I did write to him. I had too.” He realized right away what he had said. “It sounds pathetic, I know, but–”

“Just a short note, a couple words would have sufficed,” I said, making the moment even more uncomfortable.

“Do you think I slept at an inn every night?” His voice was slightly raised, but I could tell he didn’t want this conversation to continue along its current path. “Rúmil,” he said softly. “I really am sorry. If I could have kept in better touch with you, I would have. You knew it was going to be a long stretch for us. Please, I don’t want to argue. I just want some time alone with you, time to catch up, time to get to know you again, to know us. By the gods, I have missed you so much.”

How could I continue to berate him? He seemed desperate, thirsty for what we once had. So was I, and I couldn’t stay angry another moment. My hand found its way to the back of his neck and I pulled him to me and kissed him in a way that said I missed him too. “Tonight, come to my home.”

He backed away and looked at me questioningly. “Your place? Are you sure that’s wise? Won’t someone talk?”

“You’re arrival hasn’t been announced yet, and it probably won’t be until tomorrow. And, quite frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass. I need you too, Legolas.”

He started to take me towards him, but just then the handle of my office door rattled, and he abandoned me. It was my courier again, the one who brought Legolas in the first place. “I’m sorry to interrupt this meeting, but you are needed at the training grounds.”

I gave a nod and looked at Legolas. “I must go. Would you care to join me?” I asked as a last minute idea of how to spend more time with him.

“I would be delighted to watch your young soldiers train,” Legolas smiled with just a hint of deviance.

The courier left and I closed my door. Before he could speak, I pinned Legolas against the wood grain and kissed him passionately, gyrating my hips as I did. We reluctantly broke apart, our breath rapid with need for something more than what the kiss could provide.

Legolas captured my eyes and gazed all the way to my soul. I had those blue jewels memorized, but nothing compared to actually seeing them looking through me. “You make me want to throw you over that desk and have my way with you … several times, as a matter of fact.”

“Keep talking like that, and I might let you,” I challenged wantonly.

He bit his bottom lip and I felt my body pulse with excitement. “Lock the door, Rúmil, and let me–”

The handle rattled as someone tried to open the door. I jumped away from Legolas as he stepped aside to let the door open. Sweet Eru, I hoped no one would notice the state of longing I was in. Thank goodness for our long Lórien tunics.

“Is the door stuck or something?” complained Cundo, my assistant.

“I asked you to not allow any disruptions, and that includes you,” I berated.

“I know, my lord,” Cundo said as he examined the hinges of the door. “I must have that looked at,” he mumbled before getting back to business at hand. “There’s been an accident in the armory. One of the first years was mishandling his sword. Damn thing nailed his foot right to the floor. If you ask me, I’d say he was showing off. The other youths were supposedly making fun of his technique. You know how it is when you’re young.”

Legolas stood to the side and laughed silently at the situation. It did sound quite funny, although I’m sure the injured soldier was not laughing at the moment. “If I may, could I possibly accompany you to deal with this youth?” There was a wicked gleam in his eye, and I knew he had a lesson to teach.

“I think that would be acceptable,” I smiled back. “Cundo, see to my office while I step out. Anyone needs me, I’ll be back in a little while. Also, have a bottle of my favorite red sent to my home. I have a feeling I’ll need something to help me unwind this evening.”

“Yes, March warden,” Cundo answered and hurried off.

“I thought that’s what I was here for,” Legolas whispered as he leaned towards my shoulder.

“Absolutely, but a little wine never hurts.” I said with a quick wink of my eye. “Come then, to the infirmary.”

>>\------->

I was home now, straightening up a few things before Legolas arrived. Hopefully, he still knew his way. I didn’t want him asking anyone and raising suspicions. I knew he’d be careful, though. I worried in the back of my busy mind, whether this was a good idea or not. I knew Raenor had eyes on me still, but Legolas’ arrival had not made news just yet.

I set out two glasses and the bottle of wine I ordered earlier. Then I ran to the bedroom to check my nightstand, and make sure I had everything needed for a pleasant evening. There was a knock on my front door, and I rushed through my living room to get to it. I took a deep breath and collected myself, and then turned the handle. The door burst open, and a cloaked figure hurried inside and closed the door behind him. I didn’t have to see him to know it was Legolas. He had a very distinguishable aura about him, like fresh grass or spring leaves.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Were you followed?” I asked, my words all rushed together with concern.

He threw his cape off like a billowing sail and let it fall to the floor. Legolas didn’t look one bit worried. His eyes were dark with desire and the devious smile on his face announced his jestful mood. “Nothing is wrong except that I could barely make it through the day while I waited to see you. I had you in my mind all day, ever since you kissed me in your office. The tension has been building and building until I thought I might explode. More than a few times, I’ve had to excuse myself from company, fearing they might sense something from my lustful thoughts. It has been far too long, Rúmil. I want you. I need you, all of you, every inch, everything.”

He ravaged my neck and brought me standing quickly. Still, this wasn’t exactly how I saw the evening starting. Eventually, yes, but not right now so that we were like two rutting swine. “Y-You sure know how to m-make an entrance,” I stammered, as his tongue flicked the lobe of my ear.

“Take your clothes off,” he whispered desperately, already clawing at my tunic.

“D-Don’t you want some wine first? Or some cheese? I’ve got a tray already put together.” My attempt to slow down his ministrations was not working.

“There’s only one thing I want, and that is you … naked … right now … right here.” His warm hands made their way to the flesh of my chest as he tried to push my undershirt up and over my head.

“B-But we have all night, Legolas, and I … and … I just … I … I–” My words slowly faded as my mind gave in. “Oh, fuck it. Take me. Take me right now, right here.” I figured we had his cloak to use as cushion on the bare wood floor of my foyer. I started undoing the buttons of his Mirkwood garb. We were kissing with desperation as our hands fumbled over each other’s clothing. I had his tunic undone and he had my undershirt opened, exposing my chest to the cool air of my home. I reached for the leather ties of his leggings, and would resolve to chew through them if I could not get them untied in a short amount of time. Looking down, I could not help but notice the bulge in his pants, and this excited me even more. So much so that I sucked in the flesh of his neck to mark him as my property. “I want you inside me this instant,” I whispered.

“I will have you screaming my name before the–” he started to respond, but a loud knock on my front door brought everything to an instant halt.

“Shit, shit, shit!” I complained, a combination of anger and fear.

“Who is it?” Legolas asked, his hands still surrounding my waist.

“Who knows? Probably some first year has a broken toe or something ridiculous,” I whispered in return. “Can’t they leave me alone for one night?” I still wore my undershirt, though it hung open. Legolas, though, was shirtless and his leggings were untied. Damn, I thought to myself. Just had to push his pants down a bit and my prize would have been revealed. Anger built up in my lungs with the deep breath I took. “Who is at my door and what business do you have here?” I demanded to know through my closed door.

“It’s Orophin. What in Middle-earth are you doing, and why is your door locked?”

“Go away, Oro,” I called.

“I need to speak to you. It’s important,” he answered.

“Not now.”

“It’s Haldir,” he said, and nothing more.

I froze at the mention of my oldest brother’s name. He hadn’t been doing well lately, and now I was worried. Legolas must have seen my concern too. He picked up his shirt, tunic and cloak from the floor and stepped aside. I did nothing to make myself presentable and opened the door. “What is it? What’s happened to–” My words failed me when I saw the smile on Orophin’s face, and as he stepped sideways, he revealed Haldir behind him, sitting in his mobile chair. “What the … I thought you said it was Haldir.”

“It is,” Orophin smiled arrogantly, and I knew I’d been had. “He has decided to come out of his dark and dismal mood, and so here we are.”

Behind my open door was Legolas, who was putting his shirt on. When he heard who was at my door, he tossed his tunic and cloak aside, and left the top buttons of his shirt undone. I assumed it was to deliver a message to my nosey brothers.

Orophin looked down at my attire. “Did we catch you at a bad time? Were you getting ready for bed?”

“Actually, we were getting ready to have mind-blowing sex,” Legolas said from behind the door as he stepped out to make himself visible.

“Oh my, I’m afraid my timing is bad,” Orophin scoffed.

“It’s downright deplorable,” I said under my breath.

Orophin ignored me and came in. Haldir wheeled in behind him. He looked as though he didn’t want to be here, so I knew this was all Orophin’s idea. I closed the door and just stood there looking at my brothers. “Why are you here?” I asked, sounding defeated.

“We have good reason,” Haldir said. “Word has already spread like wildfire about the Prince’s visit. We thought you should know.”

“Probably my courier,” I said more to myself than the others. “He was a bit flabbergasted by the sight of Legolas. Must have spread the word like the plague. But really, couldn’t you have sent a note or something? Did you both have to come?”

Orophin looked at the bottle of wine and two glasses as he answered. “We thought it might look better if we came here in person, make this look like a friendly get together so that no one would talk, if you know what I mean.” As he explained, he took down two more glasses from my cabinet. When he looked at me again, I had my arms crossed and was tapping my toe in anger. Orophin rolled his eyes with impatience. “If we know Legolas is in Caras Galadhon, then so will Raenor, who undoubtedly has spies watching. You know how he is. He refuses to give up. And you also know that he’s onto your relationship. All he needs is proof. That’s why we are here, to prove nothing out of the ordinary is going on.”

“Well, you’re here. Anyone spying on me would have seen you come. Now you can leave,” I demanded.

“Already?” Orophin said smugly. “I’m afraid that won’t do.”

“Fine, stay for a few more minutes and then leave,” I said with ire. “All I want is some quality time with Legolas. You know we haven’t seen one another for a very long time. So have a glass of wine, quickly, and then go.”

Legolas came to me and put his hand on my arm. “Perhaps Orophin is right. The last thing I want to do is cause suspicion.”

“But what about . . .” I fingered the open collar of his shirt. “And … you know . . .” I glanced to my bedroom.

“I’m here for a few days at least.” Legolas said lovingly. “We’ll find another time.” He leaned into my ear and whispered. “Have patience, my love, and I promise it will be worth the wait.”

I gave a deep sigh and conceded defeat. “Fine.” My disappointment was obvious. “Pour the wine and I’ll serve the cheese. But if you’re looking for anything more, you’re out of luck.”

The night went by rather pleasantly, despite the rude interruption. Orophin surprised me the most. I always thought he disliked Legolas, but tonight he was being very interactive, asking about strategies in battle and weapon designs. As the wine loosened everyone up, my brothers proceeded to ask Legolas about his recent adventures. Orophin and Haldir were enthralled. So was I for that matter, for I hadn’t had the chance to ask him either. He had seen and done so much after the battle at Helm’s Deep. I felt ashamed of my behavior when he first arrived, when I complained about his lack of correspondence. He really hadn’t been anywhere that he could have written to me. I wasn’t mad any more, though. I was just happy that he was back, and he was here with me. He might have written to his father, but he came to Lothlórien before returning to Mirkwood, and that said a lot.

“So the three of you fought the Corsairs of Umbar and captured their ship?” Orophin asked accusingly. Legolas nodded as he reached for his glass. Orophin cocked a brow. “But their fleet is quite great, fifty ships strong from what I’ve heard. Surely taking control of one ship would not frighten the rest into abandonment.”

“We had help,” Legolas said nonchalantly, and the rest of us seemed to lean forward as we waited for an explanation. When he noticed, he continued. “Oh, I skipped the part about going to the Dwimorberg, didn’t I?”

Apparently, Legolas and his companions stayed with the Rohirrim army after leaving Helm’s Deep. When Gondor called for help, the Rohirrim set out for Dunharrow, where they called upon their neighbors and kin. Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli were preparing to ride with the army all the way to Gondor, when Aragorn received a visitor, Lord Elrond, who told the future king where to go to find help for the battle in Gondor. The Rohirrim would have been outnumbered otherwise. Elrond told Aragorn to seek out the Army of the Dead, and with the newly remade sword, Narsil, the Dead Men would have no other choice than to obey. In the end, the three warriors commandeered one of the lead ships, and the Army of the Dead terrorized the rest, making them abandon their ships to drown in the ocean.

“I guess you got what you always wanted,” I said to him. “To finally see what is out there beyond the borders of the Rhovanion.”

“And there is still so much to see,” Legolas said, eyes wide with excitement. “Someday, I should like to travel back to a couple places and spend some time there. Fangorn Forest for one, and the Glittering Caves for another. Perhaps, the two of us shall go together.”

“I would like that very much,” I replied, caught up in Legolas’ excitement.

“Except that you are March warden now, Rúmil. When will you find the time to travel?” Orophin said to crush my dreams.

“Have any of you ever been to Rivendell and seen the Last Homely House of Lord Elrond?” Legolas asked to change the subject.

“I have not,” I answered.

“Neither have I,” Orophin said.

“I have,” Haldir said. It was the first thing he’d said since he first arrived.

Legolas gave Haldir his attention, abandoning Oro and I. “Were you ever there during the harvest?”

“No, I was only there once and it was after the summer solstice,” Haldir said.

“Oh, then let me tell you about the many colors of the valley, Haldir.” And with that, Legolas and Haldir became engulfed in their own conversation. Actually, I was glad for it. Haldir had been so withdrawn lately, I thought it was good to have someone new to speak with. I gestured for Orophin to follow me to the kitchen. We picked up the empty plates and trays and carried them away, giving Haldir and Legolas their time together.

“Haldir seems to be perking up a bit,” I said to Orophin.

“It’s the most outgoing I’ve seen him in a while.” Orophin watched the two as they compared visits to Rivendell, and then he turned back to the counter. “It is nice of Legolas to engage him in conversation.”

I smiled. “Legolas is very kind-hearted.”

“I misjudged him in the beginning. I see that now, but I still worry. It’s why I give him such a hard time when he visits. I fear he doesn’t understand our ways or our laws.”

“There really is nothing to worry about. We are not careless. I know there are spies. I had hoped that by now that would all we behind us, but I know it will always be a concern. You haven’t known about me, about what I am for very long, but I’ve dealt with it my whole life. It kind of makes me the expert on the subject. You have to stop worrying for me. I know what I’m doing. Just trust me on that,” I said to him.

We finished up in the kitchen, giving Legolas and Haldir plenty of time to talk. Orophin was putting away the last of the dishes, and I quietly slipped back into the living room, only to stumble upon a hushed conversation between Legolas and Haldir. They didn’t know I had come out of the kitchen, so I stood silently in the back and eavesdropped. Legolas was sitting on a chair, Haldir beside him in his wheeled chair, and they were leaning towards each other so they could speaking quietly.

“Is that what it feels like to you?” Legolas asked.

“It is a constant longing, yes. At first it feels very faint, but with each passing day, it becomes louder and the urge is stronger,” Haldir whispered back.

“It’s only a slight tapping in the back of my mind, but it is constant. Most of the time I’m able to control it or ignore it all together.”

“As time passes, it will grow, especially when you are far from the shores,” Haldir told him.

“I know, for that’s what I was told. Once it grabs a hold of you, it never lets go,” Legolas said sadly. “What if she was right, and I cannot go home?”

I was very curious as to what they were talking about, but this was a private conversation. I couldn’t just barge in so fast.

“I cannot answer that for you. It is different for everyone. For some it takes years, but for others it might only take a few months. One thing is for sure, you’ll always feel it nagging you. As to how long you can tolerate it, only time will tell,” Haldir explained.

Just then, Orophin came out of the kitchen, drawing Legolas and Haldir’s attention. I don’t think they knew I had been standing there. It looked like Orophin and I exited the kitchen together. I never led on and we finished out our evening. When it was time for Orophin and Haldir to leave, Legolas pulled me aside.

“I think I should go too,” he said.

“What? No, you can’t,” I complained.

“I don’t want to either, but I think Orophin is right. It wouldn’t look good if anyone knew I did not leave, and if there are spies, they will know when they only see two people leave instead of three.”

Haldir cleared his throat. “Orophin and I will wait outside for you. We’ll escort you to the guest quarters if you’d like.”

“Yes, thank you. Thank you for everything,” Legolas said specifically to Haldir.

My brother nodded, and he and Orophin said goodnight and went outside. Alone once more, Legolas folded me into his embrace and kissed me. “Tomorrow night. Come to the guest quarters. I doubt anyone will think to look for you there.”

“Alright,” I agreed reluctantly. “But come see me in my office tomorrow.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Legolas smiled. He kissed me again, slowly with tongues twirling and caressing. I wanted him. I needed him badly. But what was another day when it had already been close to a year. I could wait.

>>\------->

The next day was pretty standard as far as my duties were concerned, and that meant busy. Legolas came by in time for the midday meal. “Shall we head to the dining hall, and you can introduce me to some delicious Lórien fare?”

“I would love to, but I have a meeting in a few short minutes,” I answered as I signed a few papers.

Legolas wandered over to me and looked over the paperwork. “What is the point of all this?”

“Everything must be accounted for. It helps things run more smoothly,” I told him.

“We have no such system in Mirkwood.”

“Yes, I remember. Everything is done spur of the moment,” I said, slightly criticizing him.

“What’s to document? There are pests that need to be exterminated. We go out, take care of the problem and come home. The injured go to the infirmary. The hungry to go the kitchens.” His hands roamed over my shoulders and down my chest. “And the amorous disappear to their private places and screw each other all … night … long.” The last of his words were whispered in my ear, his warm breath sending chills down my spine.

I swallowed hard and tried to keep my composure. “Yes, and I remember that too.”

“You said you had a few minutes before your meeting,” he said suggestively.

“I said short minutes, and those are less than full ones.”

“Come on, Rúmil, put a guard outside and lock the door. I need you badly.” He teethed the tip of my ear and I thought I would come undone. My brain told me absolutely not, but my body was screaming for release. I was about to agree with the latter when there was a knock at my door. Legolas jumped away quickly so as not to get caught with his hands upon me.

“They are ready for you, March warden,” said my courier, poking his head through the crack in the door.

“I’ll be right there,” I answered and stood from my desk as the courier disappeared. I looked at Legolas disappointedly. “I almost gave in. You are a terrible influence, you know that?”

“Exactly the point,” he smiled back. “Now go to your meeting. Perhaps we’ll meet for dinner.”

“You’re not staying?” I wondered.

“I can show myself around. Besides, you know me. I can’t sit in one place for long.”

I took his chin in my fingers and drew him to me. “I love you,” I whispered. Our lips were only a hairs width away and Legolas drew away.

“I know,” he said arrogantly, and he went to the door, holding it open for me to exit.

“Fiend,” I complained.

“You can punish me later,” he sassed. We exited and went our separate ways.

The meeting went much longer than I had expected. I thought Legolas might be waiting for me in my office when I returned, but he wasn’t there. The dinner hour was not too far off, so I thought I would make my rounds at the practice fields before heading to the dining hall. If I knew Legolas, and I thought I did very well, he would be there showing off for the young soldiers. It was one of his favorite things to do. And I wasn’t disappointed. There he was, showing them his tricks, making them ohh and aww. I stayed to the side and watched for a minute before he noticed me. He excused himself from his admirers and came to me.

“I see you’re making quite the impression,” I said with a smile.

“What on earth do you teach these young ellyn?” he complained. “They hardly know any tricks.”

“We don’t teach tricks. We teach technique,” I countered.

“Technique is for the practice field. Tricks are for when you’re out in the field and you’ve only got a split second to make a lifesaving decision. Really, March warden, it’s no wonder you do not lose more men out there.”

I gave him a narrow eyed stare, and then turned to my trainees. “That will be all for now. Go on back to the barracks. Dinner will be served soon so clean up.” I ordered. The group of ellyn left the field. Legolas and I were now somewhat alone, although there were still others in the surrounding area. They weren’t within hearing range.

“Oh, Rúmil, I do like it when you bark orders. Makes me all tingly inside,” he jested.

“As if I could ever order you around. You do what you want, when you want.” I smiled fiendishly. “Actually, don’t ever change, my love. And speaking of doing things under order, I believe tonight will–”

“I can’t,” he said woefully.

I knit my brows and stopped walking. “What do you mean, you can’t?”

“The Lord and Lady have invited me to dine with them, and then they insist on hearing of my adventures. Something tells me this will go long into the night.”

“Then tell them the short version and say you are tired,” I said.

“I could not. You know Lady Galadriel. She would read me like an open book. I must admit that this kind of telepathy makes me a bit uncomfortable. What if I start to think of you and she takes a peek into my mind?” He sounded very worried.

“From what I’ve been told, it doesn’t work that way.”

“How does it work then?”

“I don’t really know. I’ve never had her in my head. Haldir has, though. Perhaps you should speak to him.”

Legolas shook his head. “Nay, I shall weather it alone. I’ll just have to keep my thoughts clear and clean.”

“You?” I questioned.

Legolas shoved my shoulder playfully. “I do have the ability to show self-control, you know.”

“Not when you’re around me you don’t.”

“And for obvious reasons. It’s almost impossible to not be affected by your handsomeness. Sweet Eru, don’t get me started.”

“Hmm,” I said deviously.

Legolas laughed. “Why, Rúmil, those dirty thoughts of yours make me want to throw you over my knee and give you a good thrashing.”

“Or you could bend me over a chair and–”

“March warden,” someone called from the distance.

“Hold that thought,” I told Legolas.

“If I keep that vision in my head, Lady Galadriel might just decide she wants to watch,” he laughed.

We stopped walking so I could wait for the ellon who required my attention. Legolas and I faced each other, looking like two acquaintances saying their farewells, but the longing in our eyes was hidden from everyone.

“Will you send for me when you return to your room?” I asked.

“And what would people say when they saw their March warden sneaking into the guest quarters of the Prince during the darkest hours of the night?”

“This is ridiculous. It’s your second day here, and we still haven’t … celebrated your return. I don’t know how much more I can take,” I complained.

“I’m here for one more night, and then I must head for home. We will just have to make it count. Cram three days of bliss into one night,” he suggested playfully. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“I have meetings in the morning, lunch with the other wardens, inspection of the troops right after, and then the first years have their ceremony to see which regiments they will be assigned to. That usually conjures up a stack of requests to be transferred so that they can stay with their friends, in which I must look over each request to determine the ones that are legitimate complaints.”

“No wonder Haldir was always so stiff. He never had time to have any fun,” Legolas said.

“It is not a job for one who slacks.”

Legolas looked away to see the messenger arriving. “Tomorrow night then? Shall we try once more?”

“Tomorrow, yes, but where? My home is too conspicuous.”

“You’ll figure something out. Until tomorrow then.” He bowed his head in a sign of respect, and to keep up the disguise. By then, the messenger was upon us.

“Until then, Prince Legolas,” I said returning the gesture of bowing my head. Legolas went his own way, and I stayed to talk to my messenger.

>>\------->

The last and final day of Legolas’ visit was here. My day was so full that I hadn’t seen Legolas the entire time. I was hardly in my office, and when I was, Legolas never came by. I began to think he got tired of waiting and started for home early. I was tired and disappointed. I’d hardly had a moment to give any thought of where to meet Legolas tonight, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure I had any energy left. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was upset with me.

The day was gone and evening had set in. It was getting late for me to be in my office, but I got everything done that needed to be finished. I was on my way back towards the main part of the city when I felt someone take hold of my elbow. I turned and it was Legolas. We stopped walking about half way across one of the suspended walkways.

“And just where have you been all day?” I asked.

“Here and there,” he said nonchalantly.

“You couldn’t have come by and visited me at some point?” I berated.

“You were very busy, and I didn’t want to disturb you. Besides, I wanted to make sure you finished your day’s work so that we could spend the night together undisturbed.”

I gave a sigh. “I’m not sure where. My place will not work, and the guest quarters–”

“What about that hidden talon in the woods?” he interrupted.

“Hidden talon?” I said, and it dawned on me what he was speaking of. “How do you know about that?”

“Haldir,” he said tersely with a smile. “His suggestion.”

“It’s a bit far,” I said.

“I’ve thought of that. I can leave from there in the morning, and you can come back here. I don’t need to go back to the city for anything.”

I hadn’t been to that place in a very long time, and the last time I was there was when I was still with Túron. There were memories there that I wasn’t sure would come back, even with Legolas in my life now. “I don’t know,” I said with uncertainty. “It’s been a few years since I’ve been there and–”

“What? Did you frequent the place with your lovers?” Legolas said as a joke, but the seriousness on my face told him I wasn’t amused. “Oh,” he said quietly. “Who?”

“Why would you want to know that?” I complained.

“We have no secrets, remember?” he said.

I was quiet at first, and I glanced down at the railing where my hands rested. “Túron.”

“Oh,” he said again. “Well, did you take anyone else there?”

“There was no one else at the time,” I answered. “We’d only been there a few times, one of those being the last time I saw him before he left Lothlórien.”

“Now I see,” he said sympathetically. 

“But what if I get there and the old feelings surface. I don’t want to ruin our evening together,” I said worriedly.

“I won’t let you. Rúmil, it is just a place, a building. Your memories, whether they are good or bad, are what remain with you. So I say we make new memories to push out and conquer the old.”

“You’re right, of course.”

He smiled. “Aren’t I always? Now, grab a change of clothes. You can go straight from there to your office first thing in the morning. I’ll pack up my belongings and meet you at the gate in thirty minutes. OK?”

“Alright,” I agreed. We went in separate directions, and would meet later under the cover of night. Finally, Legolas and I would be allowed to be together unhindered. It had been a very difficult couple days, frustrating to say the least. I didn’t worried about being followed. At this point, I really didn’t care. But I did worry about one thing … would this be the last time Legolas and I would be together in a long time? He was going back to Mirkwood, and the cleanup of the Rhovanion would begin. As for me, my new life as March warden was much more demanding than I ever thought it would be. I wasn’t sure how or when I would be able to get away and visit Legolas in Mirkwood. I thought it would be much easier. I thought I’d be able to take trips there on occasion, especially with my new title, but all it brought me was unending paperwork and problem solving. I thought about our past conversations, the ones about living in Mirkwood, and it seemed like nothing more than a dream … one that might never come true. But I needn’t think about that for now, and I hoped it wouldn’t come up tonight either.


	22. Chapter 22

Legolas and I journeyed far into the outskirts of Lothlórien, following the river to the boulder field, crossing it, and then entering the cedar forest. I kept my eye towards the canopy until the moon disappeared, and knew we had reached our destination. “We’re here,” I notified him as I brought us to a halt.

He glanced around the area and shrugged his shoulders. “Where is it?”

I looked towards the canopy of the trees above us, and Legolas followed my line of sight. “Do you see the moon?” I asked.

“No,” he said sounding confused.

“Then we are here,” I said.

Legolas squinted his blue eyes, which seemed to dance with the light of Ilúvatar, even in the dark forest with little illumination. “Are you sure this is the place? Haldir said there was a hut–”

“It’s called camouflage,” I said smartly. “Wood elves are not the only ones who know how to manipulate the naked eye.”

“I know that, but I’ve not seen such expertise outside of my home,” he said with amazement as he gazed above. “There is usually some flaw that gives away the hidden object. What about during the daylight? Can it be seen then?”

“To answer your question, it’s been here for many moons, and only Haldir and I know about it. Well, and those we’ve brought here, but I doubt any one could find their way back.” He gave me a challenging smirk and I smiled. “Even an excellent tracker such as yourself.” I started to walk around behind one of the trees. “It’s the moon, or the lack there of that gives away its location.”

“Where are you going?” Legolas asked.

“I’ll climb up and lower the ladder to you.”

Legolas shook his head. “There’s no need for a ladder. I shall follow you.”

“Just watch your footing and step where I step. Some of the branches are dead, and they will not hold our weight. I do not wish to injury the tree. Even the dead branches can make wounds, and are said to sting for a while.”

Legolas suddenly, and without warning, pulled me to him and kissed me. “I forgot about your ability to speak to the trees.”

“And that was deserving of a kiss?” I asked curiously.

“It’s a comforting thought, though I’m not sure why. It makes me feel … grounded. Strange, I know. Now, let’s go,” he said anxiously.

I looked at him curiously for a moment. I had never known Legolas to need to feel grounded. He was a free spirit since I’d first met him, and I wondered what was different now. We climbed the tree, and Legolas stepped in the exact places where I stepped until we reached the small platform of the cabin. I pulled myself up over the edge, and extended a hand to help Legolas. Then he looked around. “This is nice. Everything one would need for a quiet rendezvous. There’s a bed, and a … well, that’s all we really need now, isn’t it?” he jested.

“It wasn’t meant for permanent living,” I returned.

He grabbed me and pulled me to him again, looking deep in my eyes. “I wouldn’t care if it was a bedroll on the ground. Having you all to myself is all I need.”

“If you prefer, we can take the blankets off the bed and toss them down below,” I teased. “You are, after all, a heathen wood elf.”

“Is that really what you thought of me and my kin?” he smiled into my neck.

“That’s what I’d been taught, and we are influenced by our teachers.” I tilted my head to the side to give him more access.

Legolas moved behind me, lifted my hair and began ravaging the back of my neck. “I am your teacher too, am I not?”

“You are my teacher, my lover … my iaun nín. You are my light, my desire, my heart and soul,” I whispered as I fell under his spell. I turned in his arms so I could see him and smiled. “You are my everything.”

“I love you, Rúmil,” he whispered in return as he kissed me solidly, moving slowly and deliberately to make each and every moment count.

We did not take it slow after that. We moved quickly to undress and finally be consumed by one another. Like a dance, our bodies moved in rhythm, two entities sharing one heartbeat. It was amazing how, even after almost a year, we knew each other as though we’d never been apart. Legolas filled me, and our breathing synchronized. He pumped faster, and our moans of pleasure were like that of a choir. When he spilled so did I, and our orgasms traveled between us, creating a current in which we shared every sensation together. We were, in that moment, one body, one soul, and I never wanted it to end.

Our heads cleared and we separated, coming to rest side by side. Legolas twirled a strand of my hair between his fingers, and I laid with my head upon his chest, my finger tracing along the definition of his muscles.

“I’m not sure how we made it for the past two days,” I said. “That was amazing.”

“That was just a taste, lover. We have all night to make love.”

I smiled against his chest. “If only it could be every night.”

“It will someday … soon I hope.”

I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. “Do you really think that? Have you not seen what all is entailed with being March warden?”

“You will visit Mirkwood. I’m sure you can come up with reasons to personally make the trip. You could say that my father will only deal with you directly. And then when you come to my home we can be together as we were meant to be, without restrictions,” he said enthusiastically.

“It looks good on parchment, but actually making that happen will require a lot of work,” I responded.

Legolas turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. “Why the negativity?”

“I’m not being negative. I’m being realistic. When I am not performing my duties, I’m watching over Haldir, trying to get him to come out of his depressed state. Did you not notice that about him? And he’s only gotten worse since we brought him home.”

“You could end his suffering, you know,” Legolas said, surprising me.

“You make it sound as though I should put him down like an injured horse. What on earth do you mean by that?”

“What I mean is that you could let him go, let him do what he feels he needs to do,” Legolas said evenly.

“Let him go? Go where? Being bound to that chair means–”

“He told me he has felt the sea longing,” he interrupted.

I was silent a moment before I went on. “What?” I said with a furrowed brow. I huffed a cynical laugh. “Haldir is my brother. I think I would know if he’s had the slightest inkling of the longing. How would you know anyways?”

“We talked about it that night of the dinner party while you and Orophin were cleaning up in the kitchen. We were talking about Rivendell when he said he needed to confess something. He needed to tell someone, someone who would understand.”

“That’s absurd. Why couldn’t he talk to me or Oro?” I was put off by this sudden news. “Why wouldn’t we understand?”

“Maybe it’s because you’re too busy trying to make him fit in,” Legolas accused.

“You think it is my fault?” I challenged.

“I didn’t say that.” Legolas rolled towards me, throwing his thigh across mine, trapping me while he said what he had to say. “I think perhaps you and Orophin are too close to him. You are brothers deeply bound to each other. To think that one of you has the longing … well … he’s worried that it might endanger either of you in some way, and he didn’t want that.”

“Endanger?” I asked.

“There have been known cases where one sibling acquires the longing, and because of the bond they share, they can actually influence their brothers or sisters.”

“I didn’t know you were such the expert,” I said.

“Let’s just say I’ve recently brushed up on my studies of elvish customs.”

“Mind if I ask why?” I wondered.

He seemed as though he wanted to say something, but paused before speaking. Then his demeanor changed and he shrugged. “We were at war. I was marching to the doorstep of the enemy. Anything might have happened, and I wanted to be prepared … dying … not dying but having to go on without … without you … you having to go on without me,” he explained quietly.

“Oh,” I whispered. I cupped his face and drew him towards me. “I wondered about that too.”

“Fortunately, we didn’t need to find out.”

I shifted and Legolas removed his leg so I could sit up. I couldn’t stop thinking about Haldir. I could feel Legolas’ eyes upon me, watching me closely. I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I should have seen it. The signs were all there. Haldir … he … he’s been so distant. I’ve tried everything to involve him, and nothing has worked.” I lifted my head and looked at Legolas, searching for an answer. “Why would he suffer rather than sail? If the longing has taken him so strongly–”

“I think he stays for you and Orophin,” he told me. I looked at him questioningly and he continued. “You told me about your father leaving Haldir in charge when he sailed. Your brother still feels he needs to be here to guide you.”

“It’s felt quite opposite recently.”

“Then tell him. Tell him you don’t need his assistance anymore. Well, not putting it like that, of course, but you know what I mean.”

“And what if you’re right?” I asked.

“About what?”

“About the sibling bond,” I said.

Legolas sat up and leaned towards me. “He is your brother and you are close, but the bond between lovers outweighs that.” His lips slowly slid across mine, and his tongue searched for entrance. I allowed it and we kissed passionately. I was almost willing to let our conversation slip to the wayside … almost.

He released me and I sat back to look him in the eyes. “Legolas,” I said questioningly. “Are we … bound?” It was something I had always wondered. We loved each other deeply, but was that enough to be considered a true bonding of souls.

“If you mean, will I ever love another, then yes, we are bound because I can’t imagine being with anyone but you. No matter what.” He playfully began nipping at my neck.

“You know what I mean,” I said, dodging his kisses. “Are we truly bound to each other? Would one of us fade without the other? Are our souls so deeply entwined that we could not survive without one another?”

He stopped what he was doing and sat back, watching me as though trying to find the right words. “Well, in that sense, it is not official. There has been no blessing.” He stood quickly, and I feared I had just chased him away. Legolas seemed very uncomfortable all of a sudden. “We love each other, and that’s all we need. A blessing to make it valid is not necessary, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought. With the recent wars and everything, those kinds of thoughts had escaped me, as is common with our kind. But now … evil has been destroyed, we’re moving into a new age, all’s beginning to feel right in the world.”

“It already feels right to me,” he seemed to argue. Legolas came back to where I sat on the bed. He straddled me, pushing me onto my back, and crawled on top of me. “This is all we need. Just you and me. I love you, Rúmil. Is that not enough?” He lifted my legs onto his shoulders. “Right here. Right now it’s just you and me, and I’m not wasting another moment worrying about anything else.” He slid into me and I gasped. Perhaps he was right. No reason to worry about it. We lived in the here and now, and right now, he was filling me, making my head swirl with desire. He would have to leave in the morning. We didn’t need to waste our time talking about our concerns.

>>\------->

After making love a few time, with little rest between sessions, we finally dozed for a while. At least I did, anyways. When I awoke, Legolas was not beside me. I looked up, noticing that it was still dark, and saw Legolas’ silhouette within the doorway of the hut. He was leaning against the frame, gazing out over the cedar forest, deep in thought, perhaps. I smiled as I rediscovered the masculine beauty of his naked form, absolute perfection, and I knew every inch.

“What is so interesting out there?” I said groggily. He didn’t move or speak. I thought he didn’t hear me. “If you’re hungry, there’s a bit of bread in my pack. Help yourself.” Still nothing. What had him so preoccupied? “Legolas?” I called lightly.

When he still didn’t acknowledge me, I got out of bed and went to him. “Legolas?” I said again, but it was as though I wasn’t even in the room. I reached out and touched his waist with my fingertips, and he jumped with surprise.

“Oh, Rúmil, I didn’t know you were up,” he said, forcing himself to turn his eyes from the forest.

“I called to you, but you didn’t answer. Where were you just now? It’s like you were a thousand miles away.”

“I was … uh … I was listening to the forest. Guess I lost myself for a moment. What were you saying?”

“I’ve bread if you’re hungry,” I repeated.

His eyes slowly scanned down my body, the previous moment of absence of mind dissipated. “I’m hungry, but not for bread.”

“You’ve already exhausted me once,” I jested.

“Only once? Hmm, I must be losing my touch.” Legolas nipped at my neck, my chest, and lower until he was on his knees. I ran my fingers through his long silky hair, the color of ripe wheat, and watched him lick his lips as he studied me. He blinked and his eyes lifted to mine. “Did you know you have the most beautiful cock?” His tongue flicked along my length sending all kinds of sensations up my spine. He teased me by running his tongue flat along the bottom side. Just as I thought he was about to swallow me, he would repeat the previous movements. He set my body to flame, and I ached for him. Once he knew he had me frenzied, he finally slid his lips over my cock, taking me in his mouth. His tongue tantalized as he sucked me, bringing me closer to euphoria. And when he knew I was almost there, he took me in completely and milked me for all I had. I spilled into his mouth, and he held me there until it became too much to stand. Then he released me to the cool air of the hut, and he admired it for a moment. When he finally stood he pulled me close and kissed me adoringly slow. I knew what he was doing, for I was doing it also. We were setting everything to memory, smell, taste sight, sound, touch … all of it. And when we needed to feel close to each other, when we were separated by our homes, we would draw on this moment.

Legolas cupped my face in his hands, staring deep into my eyes. “I love you, Rúmil of Lothlórien.”

“I love you too … so much,” I responded. We kissed again and I couldn’t help smiling as we did. He pulled away and smiled too.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s … it’s nothing,” I replied, feeling my cheeks burn.

“It’s definitely something. Tell me,” he insisted.

“I never thought I would find this … what we have. I never thought it possible. I … I always thought I was doomed,” I admitted.

“I’m afraid you’ve got me for good,” he said against my neck, kissing me again.

I laughed as his hair bristled against my shoulder. “We may not be bound, but it sure seems like it. There is no one else like you on this earth, and I’ll never stop loving you.”

He stood back to study me. “Do you mean it? About being bound?”

“Doesn’t it feel like that to you?”

“It does. It has … for a long time.”

I felt the heat return to my face. “Of course, it’s not official, as you mentioned.”

“It could be,” he said. As I started to protest, he went on. “Can you imagine it? The Prince of Mirkwood and the March warden of the Northern Guard of Lothlórien bound in the eyes of the Valar.” He huffed a laugh. “My father would not be pleased. I think he still holds out hope that this is all just a phase, and I will eventually meet and bind to a beautiful elleth. Mirkwood will finally have its Princess, and maybe he will feel confident enough to leave the kingdom to me.” He kissed me, running his tongue along my bottom lip. “But we both know that story will never come to pass.”

I smiled at the thought. “And can you imagine all of Lothlórien learning that their March warden is bound to the Prince of Mirkwood? It would cause all kinds of havoc.”

“We would stir the pot, alright, you much more than me, I think. It would be entertaining to say the least.” As he spoke, there was something in his eyes, a flicker of mischief.

“Yes, well, the reality is it would never come to light. We have too many responsibilities to others,” I said to bring us back to the real world.

“Unfortunately,” he said disappointedly. It didn’t last long, though. We lived our fantasy briefly, and then came back to the present.

I looked past his shoulder to the open door. “Morning is not far off. I’m not ready for you to go.”

“There is still time. Let’s not waste any more.”

I went to the bed and laid on my stomach in invitation. Legolas came to me, and kissed his way up my thighs, my buttocks, my spine and shoulders, until he was laying upon me. He nudged my legs apart and entered me, setting a slow burning rhythm. Neither one of us wanted this to end, although it wouldn’t. It was just going to be a while before we saw one another again. We would have to settle for this long distance relationship for now, but I hoped that one day, we wouldn’t have to anymore. The problem for me was, I couldn’t see that day.

>>\------->

Morning came and Legolas was up and dressed before I even woke up. “You’re up already,” I said.

“Thought I’d get an early start.” He came to the bed and sat next to me. Then he leaned down and kissed me gently. “I’m going to miss you terribly,” he admitted.

“It seems so unfair that we were apart for so long and only allowed this brief time together.”

“You’ll come to Mirkwood soon I hope?” he asked.

“I’ll try. You know that I will.” I smiled at him and touched his face.

“When you do, make sure you stay for a while.”

I nodded and he stood from the bed. He reached for his pack and tossed it over his shoulder. That’s went I saw his bow, my bow actually, the one I gifted him when he was still on his journey. I smiled and gestured towards it. “You still have my bow.”

“Of course. It is my most prized treasure. I’ve taken good care of it,” he said proudly.

I got up, wrapping the bedsheet around my waist. I went to Legolas and cupped my hand to his cheek, looking into his lovely blue eyes. “I love you, iaun nín.”

“I love you too,” he said passionately, and then we kissed as though it was our last. When we separated, he reached into his tunic, pulling out a folded piece of parchment, and handed it to me.

“What is this?” I asked curiously.

“Don’t read it now. Wait until you are home and you don’t expect any interruptions.” He saw the worry on my face and took my hand. “I promise you, it’s nothing bad, but it is private and personal, and you don’t need some nosey onlooker peeking over your shoulder as you read it. This was too important to me to speak in our code. It is from the heart.”

“Now you’ve got me curious, but I will wait.” I wondered when he had time to write it, but figured he’d done it while I slept earlier in the night. “Alright, I’ll give it my full attention tonight.”

Legolas glanced around the small hut, checking to make sure he had all of his belongings. Then his eyes settled on me, such love filled eyes. “Stay safe, my love, and come to Mirkwood as soon as possible.”

“I will, Legolas. You stay safe also.” We were trying to say goodbye without actually saying the dreaded word. Goodbye usually meant we would not see each other for a very long time. I hoped that wouldn’t be the case this time, but I just wasn’t sure how long it would be.

He started towards the door, but stopped and came back to me. He took me in his arms and we kissed once more, lips sliding, tongues twirling. We held each other tight for as long as we could until we simultaneously released one another. Our hands were the last thing to stay connected as Legolas went to the door, and then that too was gone. Legolas threw the rope ladder down and climbed over the edge. Just before he disappeared, he looked up at me one more time and smiled. Then he was gone.

I stood where I was a moment, afraid that if I rushed to the door to watch him go, I might run after him. I heard the light rustling of leaves, and the further away he got, the fainter it became. Finally, I went to the doorway and looked out over the forest. Legolas was gone, swallowed by the underbrush of the forest. I stayed there a moment or two, and finally went back inside, where I dressed and gathered my things. Legolas’ letter lay on the bed. I was immensely curious to know what it said, but I promised not to read it until later, and I would stick to that.

>>\------->

Back in my office, it was as though nothing had happened. My day went on as usual, but no one knew the torment within my heart. Legolas was gone so quickly. We’d hardly seen each other during the few days he was here, and now he was on his way home. Who knew how long it would be before we would be together again. This was madness, and I wished I could scream at the top of my lungs. However, I was in my office, workers dashing in and out, captains requesting things, soldiers preparing for their recruitment ceremony. There was no time to sulk. I had multiple duties to attend to.

Later on during my day, Orophin came for a visit, and with requests for more blankets in the barracks. “Didn’t I already fulfill a similar order not too long ago?” I wondered.

“That was at least eight months ago,” he said as though I should already be aware of this.

“What are your men doing with them, eating them? Is their diet not sufficient enough? Perhaps I should order more fiber and spare the blankets,” I snipped at my brother. He eyed me a moment, and closed the door to my office.

“What has gotten into you this morning? You’re not usually this gruff,” he accused.

“It’s none of your damn business. Now, I suggest you tell your men to search high and low, every corner and dark cubby, and find those missing blankets. Unless they are stealing them, which I highly doubt given their uncomfortableness, those blankets are still there.”

“Ohhh,” he said dragging the word out. “I see what’s going on here. Legolas has left, hasn’t he?” Orophin came to my desk and sat on the corner. I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but it is best that he left when he did. Having him here causes such a disturbance.”

“Not as much as the one you’re causing me right now,” I said in a low growl.

“Come now, brother. You’ll see him again. You always manage to.”

“Yes, but how long until that day comes? Why am I telling you anyways? You don’t understand. You don’t think that what we feel for each other is real. You probably think it is a phase, just like Legolas’ father. Still holding out hope that I’ll settle down with an elleth and live a life similar to yours, Orophin?”

“You may be March warden and my superior, but you’re still my little brother, and I’ll not have you speaking to me in such a way,” he said angrily. “Now, you take the rest of the day to sort things out in your head because tomorrow is a new day, and last time I checked, you are still in charge of this Guard. You can grieve on your own time, but while you are here, you need to remember your position.” He took a paper out of his tunic, slammed in on the desk beneath my nose, and handed me a quill. “Sign this for blankets.”

I glared at him, but I knew he was right. Orophin always was the one who made me keep my feet on the ground. Occasionally, I tried to break free of him, but he always pulled me back to who I was and why I was doing it. I scrawled my name on the paper and shoved it back to him. “You know where to take it.”

“Thank you,” he said, returning the paper to his tunic. “Tonight, you and I shall share some wine and conversation, and you can get a few things off your chest.”

I shook my head. “Not tonight. I wish to retire early and be alone.”

“Rúmil, come on. You need company, at least for tonight,” he said in a kinder tone.

“Not tonight, Oro. Perhaps tomorrow, alright?” I turned him down because tonight I wanted to read Legolas’ letter. I promised him I would.

“Fine then. Have it your way, you stubborn elf.”

I checked my attitude, and straightened up enough to get through the day. Finally, I was on my way home. When I got there, I closed my curtains and locked my door. I put on a pot of tea, lit a few candles, and put on my loungewear to get comfortable. When the tea was ready, I made it the way I liked it, and took a seat on my couch. The last thing I did was lay Legolas’ letter on the table next to my cup. I stared at it while my tea cooled enough to drink. “What have you to tell me?” I asked the folded paper. “Guess there is only one way to find out.” I remembered what Legolas said, reassuring me that nothing bad was in the letter. “It won’t bite,” I told myself, and forced my hand out, grasping the paper and bringing it to me. I closed my eyes as I unfolded it, and opened them when I was ready to read.

First thing I noted was that Legolas had beautiful handwriting. I don’t know why that surprised me. He had been taught by only the best, and that would have included writing as well as archery. Perhaps it was just an old stereotype about wood elves that came to the forefront of my mind. It made me think of Legolas playfully accusing me of thinking he was a heathen. Not true, of course … well, unless he is in a particularly amorous mood. I smiled at the thought and remembered that I wouldn’t see him for a long while. My smile quickly waned.

“My Dearest Rúmil,

I have not yet set out for home, and I already miss you. As I write this, you are sleeping next to me. I want nothing more than to wake you and look into your eyes, memorizing everything about you. Every time I think there is nothing else to know about you, there is something I missed, and I feel that I should know it all by now. I think I could spend an eternity with you and still find things I hadn’t seen before.

From the moment we first met, I knew there was something special about you, and I wanted to get to know you on many levels. I feel I have only touched the tip of something very deep and meaningful. There is never enough time, though, and it is taking too long to accomplish this most delightful addiction. I guess what I’m saying is that I need more. Don’t misinterpret what I am saying. When we are together, it is always very fulfilling. However, when we part I am famished. I hunger for you, Rúmil, in a way I’ve never known before. I need something to sustain me between our partings, at least until we can truly be together. And so I would like to propose a solution. Please take your time and think long for what I’m about to ask you.

Rúmil, my love, my life … I already have your heart, as well as you have mine. Now, I ask for your soul. Will you bind yourself to me? Will you take my soul in return, and in the eyes of the Valar, be my eternal mate?”

My arm dropped to my lap, the letter still held tight in my fingers. I think my jaw dropped at the same rate. A tingling sensation traveled up my spine to my scalp, and my mouth went dry. I started to reach for my tea, but noticed my hand shaking uncontrollably. What was he thinking? Did he know what he was asking? I forced my arm to lift the letter so I could continue reading.

“I hear you, Rúmil. You’re saying to yourself, what is he thinking?” the letter continued.

“Damn right I’m asking that,” I said aloud, and returned to the letter.

“I’ll tell you this much. Never have I thought more clearly. Never have I seen an outcome so vividly. I want only you, and I know that will never change. By binding, we seal our commitment to each other. No matter where or how far we are from each other, we’ll be linked by our souls. As it is now, I can barely stand being away from you, and in all truth, there is a part of me that fears I will fail to recall pieces of you while we’re apart. I know that must sound horrible, and I’ll not explain my meaning here. Neither is it a threat or a way to rush your decision. This must be a mutual agreement.

Rúmil, I know how you feel about me. I feel it every time we make love. I see it every time our eyes connect. It’s in your kiss, in your words, and in your actions. And I know you sense my complete adoration for you also. I have asked the most important question that an elf can ask another, and now I await your answer. I can also hear you asking how we would accomplish this, especially with your new position as March warden. Fear not, my love, for I have the solution. You will come to Mirkwood, and we shall perform the ceremony here. It will be done quietly and in private with only the necessary witnesses. I will have to tell my father, of course, but it will be up to him whether he will attend or not. He might not agree with this, but I don’t care. This is not about him. It’s about us.

I know you must take this letter and toss it in the fire, but keep me in your heart as you come to a decision, and know that whatever your answer will be, I still love you, and I want to be with you. Until we meet again.

Yours for eternity,

Legolas”

I finished the letter, and sat completely dumbfounded. Instinctively, I reached for my tea and sipped, but it had gone cold. I made a face and got up to go to the kitchen. Forget the tea, I thought. Something stronger was needed at the moment. In a cupboard, I kept a small bottle of brandy. It wasn’t really my taste, and I only ever drank it when I needed something more potent than wine. Now was one of those times.

“Does he really know what he asks of me?” I said aloud to myself. “I mean, if I was still just a Captain, perhaps … but the position I’m in now? How in Middle-earth does he think this can be done AND kept secret? We’ll have the ceremony in Mirkwood, he said. It will be quiet and private, he said. Who’s to say word won’t spread about us, and once that happens . . .” I was arguing with myself, trying to convince me that this was ridiculous. “It’s probably all because we had a laugh about it earlier. I didn’t think he would actually consider it as a real possibility.” I was the one who brought it up in the first place. Legolas seemed to think it wasn’t necessary, that we knew we loved each other and that was enough. But I think I sounded disappointed in my response, and I didn’t mean to. Maybe he thought his answer saddened me. Maybe he worried I thought he didn’t take it seriously. And now, here I sat with his letter asking me to bind with him.

After I got done thinking the only reason Legolas proposed was that he felt guilty, I smiled when it actually started to sink into my thick skull. “Of all the elves, he wants me. Well, he’s always wanted me, and I him, but he wants me in his life forever. I never saw this day coming. I’ve never made it this far in a relationship. Legolas has stuck with me through so much where others would have already moved on. Truly, I’m flattered. More than that, I’m ecstatic. I’m falling for him all over again.” I gave a deep sigh. “I must be out of my mind to actually consider his proposal.” I poured a small amount of brandy into my teacup and drank. It warmed me as it traveled to my stomach, coating my insides with a slow burning fire. “I can’t deny that the thought of a real binding is quite tantalizing. On the other hand, what if he is only asking to make me happy? And on the OTHER other hand, he did say it should be mutual. And then there was that episode where he was off in another world. He didn’t even hear me calling out to him. What was that about? Maybe he was considering writing that letter. Oh, I don’t know what to think. He’s got my head spinning … that and this brandy.” I took another sip and corked the bottle, putting it back in its hiding place. Something told me I’d need it again soon.

If I said yes, perhaps we could finally have our dream of living without fear. Who was I kidding? There never would be a time like that. Maybe when we sailed, perhaps, but not while we dwelled upon these shores, and while I was March warden. It saddened me a bit that I could say yes and bind to Legolas, but I couldn’t share my joyous news with anyone. If that’s the case, did I really want to say yes to this? Maybe now was not the time.

“There you go again, Legolas, causing distractions when I wasn’t prepared for it,” I complained to myself.

I went back to the living room and picked up the letter, scanning its contents once more. Then I returned to the kitchen. The wood in my stove was still burning as hot embers. I opened the door and held the letter in position, ready to toss it in and let it burn. I knew it was best for everyone, and for my protection, if I burned the note, but this time I paused. I suddenly couldn’t bring myself to destroy his words. He was proposing, for Eru’s sake. How could I toss it into the fire? It should be a keepsake so that one day I could look back on it and remember. I didn’t need it to remember though. This moment would remain in my memory for the rest of my days. I put the corner of the letter into the open stove door and held it there until the paper began to smolder.

“No,” I told myself, and I pulled the paper out and tamped down the corner to keep it from catching fire. I was keeping it.

I laid in my bed that night, and dreamed of Legolas and I performing the ceremony. We would exchange vows, and then exchange rings. It would be a covert affair, one that only a few would know about. Legolas and I would celebrate quietly in his chambers, sealing our bond with mind, body, and fëa. We would spend a few days together, the time needed in order to satisfy our need for each other as a newly bonded couple. But then I would have to come home, leave Legolas behind, and carry on with my regular duties. I wasn’t sure I could do that. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that. When I woke up, I thought I should have felt happy, but that wasn’t the case. I felt sad … and lonely, and … and I started to think that following through with this might not be a good decision. But what was worse was thinking that, if I turned Legolas’ offer down, it might mean the end of us. And so here I was again, at the same crossroads, a choice between love and duty. I’d been here so many times. Every relationship ended up here, and this time was no different. I know Legolas said whether I said yes or not, he would not abandon me, but how could we go on if I refused his offer? Why? Why did he have to do this? Things were fine the way they were, weren’t they?

I needed to talk to someone. I needed to speak with someone who I could trust, who would just listen and let me hash this out in the open, someone who might understand what I was going through. I knew just the person. I got up and dressed, and then headed out into the city. It was the middle of the night, but I knew who I could turn to, who would always be there for me. I headed for Túron’s home.


	23. Chapter 23

I glanced around, finding the area deserted, and lightly knocked on Túron’s door. It felt odd to be here. Túron and I hadn’t seen or spoken to each other much lately. For one, I’d been very busy. For another, since he learned of the seriousness of my relationship with Legolas, he stepped back giving me plenty of space. 

I knocked again, and once more, my wrapping becoming desperate. Finally, the handle jiggled and the door cracked open. Túron peered out and saw me, and then opened the door a little wider.

“Rúmil? W-What are you doing here? Everything alright? Has something happened?” he said in a groggy voice.

“I apologize for my rude intrusion, but … I-I needed someone to . . . Oh, I do hope I’m not interrupting–”

“Nothing of the sort,” he replied to save me my embarrassment. “It’s just me, no one else is here.” Túron opened the door even more and waved me in. “Come on then, I’ll put on some tea.”

I went inside, but stood just within the threshold. Túron moved towards his kitchen, but he turned to see if I was following him. When he saw that I wasn’t, he gestured to a set of chairs by the hearth. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

The ashes were cold in the mouth of the fireplace. I thought it would be polite to start a small, cozy fire, and got to work. With everything in place, I struck a piece of flint a few times and got it started. After a little while, Túron came out of the kitchen, and came over to stand by me.

“The tea shouldn’t take too long, so while we wait, why don’t you tell me what is going on?”

I stood from lighting the fire, laid my hand on the mantel and stared at the growing flames. “I’m not even sure I’ve made the right decision to come here. I’ve a personal matter that I need to come to a decision about, and I was looking for an ear to bend.”

Túron smiled. “If it’s any consolation, I’m happy you came to me.”

“It’s about Legolas and me,” I told him, more as a warning.

“In that case, I understand your hesitancy, but I’m still glad you thought of me first,” he said kindly.

“It’s just … we have … history, and I didn’t want to cause any awkwardness,” I stammered.

“Our history is just that. It happened a long time ago. But we are friends now, and I think we’ve both come to accept that fact. I’ve always told you that I’m here for you, Rúmil. So think nothing more of it. If you need to talk, please, don’t hesitate.”

“Thank you, Túron. That is very kind of you. Well, as I said, it’s about Legolas and me,” I started and took a seat on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. Túron joined me by taking the other one.

“I hope you two haven’t had a falling out or anything,” Túron mentioned.

“No, nothing like that. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. He … uh … he’s asked me to … to … perform a … a, uh . . .” I paused to take a breath and find my words. “He’s asked me to become his bond mate.”

Túron seemed a bit shocked and taken aback. His eyebrows went up and he blinked several times. “Oh … wow … well, this is some news, isn’t it?”

“I was just as shocked when I read his letter–”

“Wait, he proposed in a letter?” Túron asked.

“I know it doesn’t sound very romantic, but considering the circumstances . . .”

“I’m sure he has his reasons,” Túron said judgingly. “However, that’s not the reason you are here. So let me guess. You’re not sure whether or not to accept.”

“I don’t know if I can accept at all. Just being as I am puts me at risk every day. Raenor still watches my every move, even though he’s been less visible lately. He’s just waiting for the perfect opportunity, and I can think of no better way to have me discredited than by finding out that the March warden of Lothlórien is betrothed to the Prince of Mirkwood. He’ll stop at nothing. You know that. Raenor’s the reason you and I–” I cut my words short.

“Of course I know that. I know it all too well,” he said solemnly. I shouldn’t have brought it up, but Túron seemed to let it fall to the wayside. He smiled kindly towards me. “My dear Rúmil, what it basically comes down to is the same choice you’ve always had to make, love or duty, and something tells me that choice has never been harder.”

“The thing is, Legolas is willing to help me have both,” I told him.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

I explained. “He said we can have a private ceremony in Mirkwood. No one, except a couple witnesses, will know.”

“So, you will be bound, but still separated by your homes.”

“Just business as usual. We would have to make plans to see each other, and I think that with my position, I’ll be able to make visitations to Mirkwood. Legolas wouldn’t be able to come here as often, and it’s probably better that way. For me, though, I can plan strategic visits to Mirkwood as an ambassador for our city, or something along those lines. I did, after all, develop a comradery with King Thranduil, which is more than I can say for Haldir. Those two never quite got along. Anyways, that’s when I’ll be able to spend time with Legolas, and no one will be the wiser here in Lothlórien, unless Raenor decides to send spies on my trail, which I highly doubt.” I was rambling, I know, but it was making sense to me. That was why I came to Túron in the first place. I knew he would let me run my plans past him without being overly advised.

“Have you even heard yourself?” Túron said, surprising me.

“Of course. I’ve been doing nothing but thinking this through all day to the point that I couldn’t sleep, which is why I’m here and not at home right now.”

“No, that’s not it at all,” Túron said as though upset with me. “I know how you feel about Legolas. I’ve seen it in your eyes. You love him, probably more than you’ve ever loved anyone. But you also love your home and being a soldier. In the past, you might have been able to make things work in your favor. You’ve kept your private life separate from your public one. This time, I don’t think you can do that. Think about it. Legolas has asked you to be his bond mate, and that’s not something to take lightly. So do you want to start out this new life in this manner, having to hide, not being with each other every moment of every day, only seeing each other when time and duty permits? Or do you want to leap into it as the elf you’ve always wanted to be, free and unrestricted? That is what you need to decide. I don’t think this time you can have it both ways, my friend.” As he finished, the kettle began whistling. He stood, but before he went, Túron laid a firm hand on my shoulder and gave a squeeze. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. Then he went into the kitchen to fetch our tea.

There was a lot to interpret from that gesture. Besides the obvious in which he was confirming everything he just said, it also meant he wished he could have been the one in Legolas’ spot. Túron and I will always have a certain personal connection between us, but we know that now the connection is in the form of friendship. That’s something that will never change.

After a bit, he came back with tea. We sat and sipped in silence, the crackling fire the only thing making sound in the room. It wasn’t uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, it felt very homey.

“You know what it will mean if I come out and announce myself to everyone,” I said once the silence became deafening.

“Yes, and I know that you do not wish to put the burden on your brothers.”

“But I cannot just slip away like you have done in the past.”

Túron shook his head. “Definitely not. That will only cause more talk and suspicion.”

“I guess I have more to think about than whether or not to say yes,” I said rather solemnly.

“I wish I could help you in some way,” he offered.

“Just having someone to talk to is more than enough help. Thank you, Túron. If there’s ever anything I can do for you . . .”

He sipped his tea and then smiled. “You can invite me to the ceremony.”

“If there is one,” I said to myself in a hushed breath.

>>\------->

I spent the next few weeks burying myself in work during the day so that I didn’t have to come to a decision about Legolas and me. He’d told me to take my time, and that’s exactly what I was doing. Actually, I was more or less putting it off as long as I could get away with it. Legolas would want an answer at some point. He wasn’t the most patient elf in the world.

Another decision I needed to come to was what to do about Haldir. Every time I saw him, he seemed a little more restrained in his manner and speech. Now that I knew what was tormenting him, I felt as though I needed to say or do something. However, he’d spoken to Legolas in confidence that it would be kept secret until Haldir decided to tell Orophin and I. Perhaps I needed to talk to Orophin, let him know what I already knew. Orophin would want to confront our brother, though, and I wasn’t sure that was the right thing to do either. It was times like this that I wished I could crawl into a cave and become invisible, out of sight and mind until I could sort out my own problems. I decided I was already suffering in silence enough about Legolas and his proposal. I wasn’t going to do the same about Haldir.

As the day was nearing its end, I paid Orophin a visit while he was still in his Captain quarters. He smiled welcomingly when I entered, probably glad I was not another soldier requesting something.

“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise. And what brings you, brother. And please don’t tell me you’re sending my troops out to do more training. They’ve just come back from a strenuous stay at the borders, and they are looking forward to a healthy amount of reprieve, as am I.” He went to a shelf and poured two glasses of wine.

“You’re in luck, it’s not business that brings me here,” I smiled back as he handed me a glass.

Orophin looked slightly guilty. “Don’t worry. I save this for special visitors only.”

“Glad to know I’m special,” I jested. We each sipped our wine before I went on. “Actually, I’m here to discuss Haldir.”

“What now? Is he refusing to let the nurses in his house again?”

“He’s been rather cooperative about that lately. No. It’s something else, something I was told in confidence, but that I thought you needed to know also. I would appreciate it if this stays in this room until we figure out what to do.”

Orophin set his glass down and leaned forward in his chair, giving me his full attention. “What is it? What is wrong?” he said in a serious manner.

“I’ve been told, by a valid source, that Haldir . . .” I paused to take a breath. “He has heard the call.”

Orophin sat leaning forward, unmoving, as the words sunk in. What he said in return took me by surprise. “I was afraid of this. So it’s true then. Haldir has the sea longing.”

“Wait, what do you mean? You knew this already?”

“Not in a confirmed way. I just had a feeling.” He looked up at me. “How did you come by this information?”

“Legolas,” I said quietly, knowing the name brought up like this was a sore subject to Orophin’s ears. “Haldir spoke to him about it.”

“Why Legolas and not his own brothers?” Orophin asked, disturbed a bit as I was when Legolas told me.

“Long story short, Haldir didn’t want to burden us.”

Orophin picked his glass up again and gave half a laugh. “That’s Haldir, isn’t it? Suffer in silence to spare his brothers.”

“But you said you perceived something like this,” I pointed out.

“It was just a feeling, but nothing to dwell on. I kept telling myself that he’s been in a slump ever since losing the use of his legs, and that eventually he would be himself again. So, what do you think brought this on?”

“I think you are partly right about his state. Haldir was a fierce warrior, one of the bravest and boldest, and within moments, it was all taken away from him. That kind of sudden change must do something to the soul. And when the soul is damaged, we are either saved by the longing, or we fade. Haldir is too strong willed to fade. But he is also too stubborn to tell anyone, especially his own kin. He fears we will follow him. That and he still feels responsible for us. Remember what father told him?”

Orophin nodded. “He made Haldir our guardian, to see that we followed the right path.”

“I think we need to let him know that he’s gone above and beyond for us, but we must make our own fates from here. We need to let him go just as much as he needs to let us go.” As I said this, it really sunk in, and it saddened me.

“The end of the Lórien Three,” Orophin said in a faraway voice.

“Not the end, brother, just a bit of a reprieve. We’ll be together again on those distance golden shores.”

Orophin was silently thinking about our conversation. I think he knew this was the right thing to do. There was no point in having Haldir suffer silently just to keep the three of us together. We were not elflings anymore. We had been making our own decisions for a long time now.

“I guess you are right, Rúmil, but how do we go about telling him?” Orophin asked.

“We just do,” I said. “We tell him to go and find peace, but to keep an eye on the horizon, for one day we would all be together again.” I stood and went next to my brother, clasping his shoulder. “Because if we don’t, I fear Haldir will never catch that ship, and his light will slowly fade. Then, we will never be the Lórien Three again.”

I went home that night and thought about my own advice. I’d told Orophin that we were making our own choices now, our own paths, but I wondered if I had ever really done that. If my father hadn’t insisted that Haldir, Orophin and I become soldiers, would I have followed suit? Of course, I have no regrets. I love having a military life, it just hasn’t been as easy for me as for others for obvious reasons. And now, will I choose to stay on as March warden because I want it or because of my brothers. If I choose to bond to Legolas, is it solely my decision or is it because I don’t want to lose him. All of this mind searching was doing nothing to bring me closer to an answer. It was making my head swirl, making me question my own path. Had it ever really been my path to begin with?

>>\------->

Orophin and I waited a few days before we approached Haldir. We wanted to allow ourselves time to come to terms with what we were about to do, and that was to tell our brother that we were giving him permission to satisfy the sea longing and sail. I was surprised at how hard this was on Orophin. Maybe it was because he and Haldir were closer in age. They always did seem to have a slightly tighter bond with each other than with me. Not to say that I was treated as an outcast, but being the youngest of the three, I was always on my own a bit more while Haldir and Orophin always had each other.

Haldir knew we were coming to his home, and he was waiting for us by the time we arrived. He invited us in, and we ate and drank while sharing stories of the recent days. Haldir asked me a lot of questions about my not so new position. He just wanted to make sure I was still happy being March warden, which I was. I think he was satisfying his own question as to whether or not he made the right choice to promote me into the position.

“Everything is fine and running smoothly, Haldir. Nothing to be concerned about. I know what I am doing now,” I told him.

“Yes,” Orophin agreed quickly. “Rúmil fits in perfectly, and we haven’t even skipped a beat.”

After a little bit more discussion, Haldir asked Orophin to run to the kitchen for something. As Orophin left, he looked back at me and made a face. He wanted me to bring up the real reason we were here. Leave it to my brother to make me open the dialog while he was absent from the room.

After he left, Haldir wheeled his chair closer to me and whispered. “Are you really happy?”

I crinkled my brow. “Of course I am. Why? Have you heard differently?”

“No, but sometimes you seem distant, more than usual.”

“I could say the same about you,” I told him. Here we go, I thought.

“You know this has been difficult for me,” Haldir said, looking down at his legs. “Useless things,” he complained.

“I know, and I sense something else from you also. Haldir, I don’t mean to pry but–”

“He told you, didn’t he?” Haldir asked.

“Who?” I wanted to make sure we were discussing the same person.

“Legolas,” he answered. “Of course he would. He would never keep anything from you. So, you know about me, but let me assure you, I have it under control.”

“How long have you heard the call?” I wondered.

“It was not long after we returned from the battle. It came to me in a dream, I think. It was a confusing time back then. I was in and out of consciousness. At first there were whispers, barely audible. Come home, they were saying, relieve your anguish. They promised me my freedom back. I can be whole again, and my mind can be at ease. And I want to go, Rúmil. Oh, how I long to go, but I worry about what I leave behind.” Haldir stopped talking and looked over his shoulder when he heard Orophin enter the room. His eyes turned by to me. “Does he?”

I nodded. “Yes, I told him what Legolas told me, but you should know that he only confirmed what Orophin and I already suspected.”

Haldir sat back and looked at Orophin as he came to take a seat. “So it is true?” Oro asked and Haldir nodded. “Why do you stay then?” Orophin asked, confused. “Why torment yourself?”

“It is not torment. It does not pain me. It’s more like desire, as in you want what you can’t have,” he explained.

“But you can have it,” Orophin argued. “All you have to do is go. You’re being called home, Hal.”

“They can call all they want, but I won’t go until I am ready. I’m not to that point yet.”

“Is it because of Orophin and me?” I asked. “Do you worry about leaving us behind?”

“Of course I worry. You are my brothers. We’ve always been together. But it’s something more than that. I don’t feel that I’ve accomplished everything I should have. There’s something more, something I’m missing, and I’m just not ready to leave,” Haldir said. Then he smiled, but there was no joy in his eyes. “Do not fret, my brothers. When the time comes, I will let you know. Besides, it’s not as though I would flee in the middle of the night. I can’t exactly make the journey to the Grey Havens on my own,” he said with a sad attempt at humor.

We finished out our evening feeling better now that we all knew what was going on. I think Haldir was relieved that we finally had this conversation. Orophin still seemed concerned, but at least he was informed now. No more living in denial about Haldir’s condition. Our brother would never walk again as long as he dwelled on these shores. Perhaps when he sailed to Valinor, he would be whole again. It was still a mystery to the elves of Middle-earth as to what happened to us when we sailed to our mysterious homeland.

>>\------->

So far, after a few months, I had avoided answering Legolas’ letter. I knew he expected to hear from me by now, and I was sure he was getting antsy about it. I got my answer when a letter came. A messenger delivered it, and it had been sitting on my desk most of the day. Every time I glanced across my desk, the wax seal would catch my eye. He wanted an answer. He was tired of waiting. Eventually, I opened the letter and began reading. Just as I thought, he wasn’t overly happy. He’d been waiting for months to hear from me, just to let him know that I was still around, and still considering his proposal. He didn’t ask or demand an answer, and I was slightly relieved. However, reading into his words, I knew he wished I would let him know. I just wasn’t ready yet. It was such a huge decision. I loved him without a doubt, but I still needed to consider what I was giving up and how it would affect my brothers.

He had good news to share that came from Gondor, which we already knew about because Lady Galadriel had announced it not long before. Lady Arwen and the newly crowned King of Gondor, Aragorn, were finally to marry. He proposed the day he was crowned. Legolas said he had been there as a representative of Mirkwood, and because he was a member of the original fellowship. He was home in Mirkwood now, but he would return soon for the ceremony. Legolas spoke a little about the wonders of Gondor and the city of Minas Tirith. It had so much to offer, he mentioned. Legolas seemed mesmerized by its beauty and potential. Potential for what, I wondered. It was a human city, and I couldn’t understand what its draw might be. No place could have been more beautiful or magical than Lothlórien. Of course, I was partial since it was my begetting place. I would have thought Legolas would feel just as strongly about Mirkwood, even though it had been shrouded in darkness for so long. He would have ties to his home, and not just family. The ground in Mirkwood was the first his feet touched, and there were tendrils of longing for the familiar that would bind him to that place. Suddenly, I remembered something I overheard when he was talking with Haldir that night, the same night my brother confessed to Legolas about his sea longing. Legolas had sounded worried about not being able to find peace amongst the trees again. I didn’t know what he meant at first, but I thought it had something to do with all the horrors he’d seen during his travels, things that haunted him even now.

I returned to the letter after my brief pondering. He was asking me to accompany him to the wedding in Gondor, to either travel there together or meet him there, which ever was the most convenient for me. I knew Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn were going. They wouldn’t miss seeing their granddaughter celebrate such a joyous day. I figured, if I went, I would have to travel with the Lothlórien company. That would also mean that I’d be tied at the hip with them while visiting the White City. Again, it would be a complicated thing to achieve, putting on my usual display, and trying to find time to meet secretly with Legolas. I imagined what it might be like if we were already bound, and having to sneak around just to be together under the noses of those who would disapprove. Túron’s words came back to me. Was that really how I wanted to enter into the sanctity of bonding? My heart hurt to think about it, and I found myself beginning to sway towards a decision.

After giving it a lot of serious thought, I decided that I needed to see Legolas. I would ask for permission to join the Lórien party and go to Gondor. I would just deal with the situation, and as always, Legolas and I would find ways around it. Besides, Gondor was much bigger than Lothlórien, and we managed to slip away unnoticed here. It would probably be easier to go undetected in Minas Tirith as long as my company didn’t need my constant attendance. There were still a couple months yet, plenty of time for me to put things in place here while I was away. I knew Orophin would cover most of my duties, and for those times he couldn’t I would have other responsible elves ready to take up the slack.

I retrieved a piece of parchment and wrote back to Legolas, anxious to get this letter sent, letting him know I would meet him there. I really wished we could have traveled together, just the two of us and all the freedom in the world as we made our way to Gondor. Nights sleeping under the stars, making love beneath the boughs of the trees, the occasional stop at an inn where the innkeeper would think it odd that two males would share one room and one bed. We would leave our titles behind, and throw caution to the wind. Let those who didn’t understand keep wondering. What would we care? We would have each other, and nothing else would matter. And with those thoughts, I realized how much I longed to be with him, uninhibited. Ai, I would have to choose very soon before my emotions drove me insane. Túron was right. This time I couldn’t have it both ways.

While in the middle of writing my letter to Legolas, there was a knock on my office door, and a messenger flew in before I could tell him to enter. He was out of breath and sweating, probably from his sprint to the officer quarters. The first thing I observed was that he’d come quite a way from wherever the trouble was, and judging by the urgency on his countenance, some major event had or was happening.

“March warden, you must come quickly,” the messenger panted.

“What is it?” I asked, keeping a calm demeanor.

“A fight has broken out at the training grounds.”

“A fight? Is that all? Tell them to settle it quickly or they must report to me.” Arguments and the occasional fight happened from time to time, especially when the young soldiers started showing off in front of their competition. “Where is the Captain on duty? Why did you not report this to him?”

“Because it involves him, my lord,” he said, fearful of my reaction.

“One of my Captains?” I said with a raised voice. “Who in Middle-earth would one of my Captains be fighting with?”

“Captain Merco, the captain on duty was confronted by Captain Istya from March warden Raenor’s regiment.” The messenger began pacing nervously. “I apologize March warden Rúmil, but it is only first years on the practice field at the moment, and no one was willing to come between those two much more powerful elves.”

I was seething. What kind of example were they setting for the young soldiers by having a physical confrontation in front of them? I left my office abruptly, the messenger in tow as I marched off towards the practice field. “Whose turn was it for time on the field?” I demanded.

“Captain Merco, my lord.”

That meant Captain Istya had no business being there. Merco would have had another hour of training with his men. I wondered what would have sparked this, and the fact that it was one of Raenor’s men made me skeptical. “Has March warden Raenor been notified?”

“I didn’t think to send someone to inform him,” the messenger said hesitantly.

Just as well for now, I thought. It was probably better for me to find out what sparked this on my own before Raenor got involved and complicated matters. I rushed down to the field, messenger following on my heels. Just another day on the job, I sighed.

>>\------->

As it turned out, the argument was over an elleth … what else. It seemed both Captains had been pining for the same elleth, trying to win her over. They had been in competition for a while, each one trying to outdo the other. It wasn’t completely their fault. The elleth, from what I gathered, seemed to enjoy the attention as both elves did their best to convince her of who she should choose. Things got heated when my captain was leaving with his regiment while Raenor’s captain was just taking the field. They passed one another, words were exchanged, a challenge ensued, and that’s when I was called upon. As March warden, it is my duty to reprimand both parties, even if they are not under my direct command. However, I liked to inform the other March warden and discuss a proper discipline that would be agreeable to both sides. In this case, they were both at fault. It didn’t matter who started it, they were equally wrong. So I sent Captain Merco and Captain Istya home for the day, and demanded that neither one contact each other or the elleth involved until further notice. Now, and I wasn’t looking forward to this, I had to speak with Raenor about his officer.

It was always a chore to talk to Raenor about anything. The fact that we did not get along didn’t help matters much. Most of the time, he didn’t want to hear what I had to say, even when it was just a minor complication. I already suspected he would not be pleased to learn about his captain, and he would try to pin the blame mostly on my man. I was not the type to fold, though, and Raenor knew that about me.

As I prepared my mind to be on the offensive, I went to my office first. I wanted to write out a report while the details were still fresh in my mind. Talking to Raenor tended to scatter my thoughts as my ire dominated my emotions. I entered the room and there was Raenor sitting at my desk, feet on top, crossed at the ankles, and wearing a smug look. Great, I thought to myself. He’s already heard.

“I suppose you heard about the skirmish between our men, and you’re here because you aren’t happy with the way I handled things,” I started straight off. Might as well say it before he did.

“Actually, I’ve known about the tension between these two for a while. I was notified and thought I’d save you a trip to my office to find me. Hope you don’t mind that I let myself in,” Raenor said arrogantly.

“I don’t mind, but I do mind that you’re sitting behind my desk.” I waved him away with my hand, but he didn’t move. “Raenor,” I complained. “I don’t have time for–”

“Mind telling me what this might be?” he asked, holding a piece of parchment up.

Instantly, I knew what it was … the letter I was writing to Legolas. I had left it on my desk instead of locking it away in a drawer. But I’d been called away with urgency, and I forgot. My mind began quickly reimagining what I wrote. I didn’t think it was too incriminating. I was telling Legolas that I would meet him in Gondor. I was pretty sure I didn’t write anything that would give away our relationship. I couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, and now I was worried.

I marched over to the desk and snagged the letter from Raenor’s hand. “That is none of your business.”

“You left it out for anyone to read,” he said to make a point.

“It is in my office on my desk, and you have no right to go through my personal effects,” I complained, tucking the letter inside my tunic.

“My, my, we’re a bit defensive, aren’t we?”

“Imagine if I had gone into your office and started rifling through your things. You would be just as upset,” I countered.

“I imagine it would … ruffle a few of my feathers. However, I’ve nothing to hide.” Raenor stood from my desk and walked out in front of it, leaning against its edge. “So tell me, Rúmil, how you have been given permission to leave Lothlórien to attend the royal wedding when none of the other March wardens were invited, and by the Prince of Mirkwood no less.”

“I don’t owe you any kind of explanation.”

“No, you don’t.” His eyes narrowed on me. “But you will.”

“What are you talking about,” I said angrily.

“Well, while you were out taking care of the scuffle at the fields, I did a little investigating of my own, and I found out that as far as anyone knows, it is just Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn who are traveling to Gondor. You’ve not been given permission to leave, but in that letter you were writing, you seem very sure that you’ll be joining Prince Legolas.”

“I have developed a professional acquaintance with King Thranduil, and if I’ve been invited to attend a wedding in–”

“But it is not the King who has invited you. Why would he? Thranduil has not left his precious home in many years, and he isn’t going to leave now.” Raenor crossed his arms and stared me down. “You can see how my curiosity got the best of me, so I sent an associate to your home.”

“You what?” I almost shouted. I was losing my cool. “That is an invasion of my privacy.”

“Under different circumstances, yes, but this letter is enough to open an investigation into possible neglect of one of our military laws.” He gave me a sickly smirk. “And something I’ve suspected for a long time now. Actually, it’s something I know to be true. I just haven’t been able to produce solid evidence.”

“That’s because there is none. This is ridiculous. I demand that you leave this instant.”

“Not just yet,” Raenor said coolly. He reached into his tunic and took out another parchment. My heart dropped as adrenaline rushed through my body. No, I thought, dear Valar no. Raenor unfolded the paper and his eyes scanned it quickly. “Hmm,” he said. “Well, it was written a few months ago. Ai, Rúmil, you sure take your time in making decisions, don’t you? So tell me, did you accept his proposal? Is that why you’re running off to Gondor?” He took a couple steps forward until he was right in front of me and stared me down. “Did you say yes to Legolas?”

I was suddenly dizzy and weak in my legs. My stomach felt as though it was about to rid itself of its contents. I stumbled backwards until the back of my legs bumped into the couch on the opposite side of the room, and I collapsed. I felt like the wind was just knocked out of me. My biggest fear had finally come true. Hard evidence of my private life was now publically known. I should have burned that letter. I knew I should have. I’d always done it in the past. Why didn’t I do it this time?

I slowly lifted my eyes to him. “Raenor, please don’t do this,” I begged.

“Oh, this is much too easy. I’ve always known, Rúmil. I’ve at least suspected it, but you’ve managed to hide it, to cover it up. It was only a matter of time before you slipped up.”

“Think of what you’re doing not only to me but my brothers,” I pleaded.

He huffed a laugh. “That’s an odd thing to say. You know, your father did not take into account what might happen to my father when he exposed his secret. Lagordir made a fool of my father, and now I’m going to do the same thing to you.”

“I know you’ve always had a personal vendetta against me and my family, but I’m asking you … begging you to leave Haldir and Orophin out of this.” I didn’t know what else to do at this point. Raenor had control right now, and my head was still in a fog. I gave in to save my brothers any kind of embarrassment. “What do you want from me? Name it and I’ll do it, but please, just leave Haldir and Orophin out of this.”

“And why would I want to do that?” Raenor asked in a slow menacing voice. “Watching you squirm is rather enjoyable, but if I make this a family affair–”

“You can’t, Raenor. You don’t … you don’t know this but … Haldir … he’s … he’s heard the calling. He’ll be leaving soon, sailing to Valinor. Let him go with honor. Don’t let this black cloud hang over him.”

“And what about Orophin. He’s staying, I’m sure. Such a reputable captain, and a real stickler for the laws. I guess you know it was me who sent him to your home that time. Did he catch you in the middle of something? You know why I did that, don’t you? I knew he wouldn’t turn you in. I knew he’d let it slide, but in doing so, it made him an accomplice. So when I go to the Lord and Lady to report you, Orophin will go down with you because he knew. And then your family will be ruined just like mine was.”

I really couldn’t believe this was happening. I’d always been so careful. And now, one little slip up, and my whole life as I knew it was about to end. There had to be a way to reason with Raenor. There had to be something I could do. “Alright,” I agreed. “You can turn me in, have me ostracized from the army. You can ruin my whole family in the process, but what satisfaction will that give you? Only a temporary one. I know I’m in no position to bargain, but hear me out. Leave my brothers alone and take me instead.”

“What do you mean?” Raenor asked skeptically.

“I’ll do whatever you want. Name your price, Raenor, but don’t tarnish my brother’s good names.”

This made Raenor think a moment. “So let me get this straight. I’ve got solid proof that you and Legolas … uh, I can’t even bring myself to say it. And you want me to do nothing?”

“What I want is for you to leave them be.”

“But that would require allowing you to keep your current position. I don’t know,” he pondered.

“Anything you want, Raenor. Just tell me what to do.”

He paced back and forth a few time, taking my offer into consideration. “Anything?”

I nodded reluctantly, and I thought I saw him smile. Finally, Raenor answered. “I want you to tear up that letter in your pocket and write a new one telling Legolas you want nothing else to do with him … that he should leave you alone.”

Shit, that’s not what I had in mind, but Raenor had full control right now. Still . . . “I-I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You said anything, remember? This would be a good start,” he smiled cruelly.

“What you’re asking me to do could ruin everything I have with Legolas.”

“Or I could leave now and go to Lady Galadriel,” Raenor interrupted with little emotion.

I looked around my office, trying to think of a better way than this. If I wrote that letter, Legolas would be devastated and so would I. We’d become very close to one another. If I broke his heart now, I might never see him again. But if I didn’t do as Raenor said, my family would be the ones with broken hearts and tarnished reputations because of me. Maybe I was a fool to ever think I could actually have both lives, my military one and a love life. I’d always had to choose before. Now I was choosing again, although this time I was being forced to. Did our love span past something like this? Would Legolas seek me out for an explanation? Would he be fed up with me and be glad I was gone?

I needed time to come up with a solution to this disastrous problem, but I had to give Raenor an answer right now. The last thing I wanted to do was to let him win, but there was no other choice. “Fine,” I agreed reluctantly. “I’ll do as you say, as long as you leave my brothers out of this, and let it remain between you and me.”

“Agreed … for now anyways.” Raenor made his way to my office door, but stopped at my side and eyed me. “But if you try anything at all, everyone in Lothlórien will know your secret before the sun sets. Have that letter ready to be sent by morning. I’ll send my own personal messenger to deliver it.” He left and I could finally breathe. How was I going to get myself out of this one?


	24. Chapter 24

I wrote a letter to Legolas that I thought would be satisfactory according to Raenor’s demands. It sounded very convincing, almost too much so. When Legolas read this, he would be devastated. I imagined he would fly straight to Lothlórien to confront me, demanding answers to my sudden change of mind about our relationship. Not only did I tell him I would not bind to him, but I told him I thought we needed to end things. I basically told him that I chose a soldier’s life over a life of love and stability with him. It was sudden. It was quick. It was to the point with little explanation. Legolas would seethe as he read it. This letter would break his heart for sure. Raenor would be pleased with it.

However, I was not going down without a fight. As I wrote the letter, I also came up with a plan to somehow get a message to Legolas telling him to ignore what he was about to read. I’d have to send it separately, and it would have to get to him before the breakup letter. No one could know about it, most of all Raenor. I didn’t know what I was going to do after all this. I still had Raenor to deal with, and his blackmail. And I still needed to figure out how Legolas and I were going to move forward. I’d cross that rickety bridge when I got to it, and hope that I had all the right equipment to make it maneuverable. I couldn’t get too far ahead of myself, though. First things first, make sure Legolas knew I wasn’t going anywhere.

The first letter was finished and left unsealed, just as Raenor said. He wanted to read it, make sure I wasn’t putting any hidden messages within to give Legolas some kind of warning. Now, I was writing the secret letter, short and urgent, telling him that I was being blackmailed, to not believe what he was about to receive, and that I had things under control. When I was sure it was safe, I’d contact Legolas somehow to let him know what was happening. He’d just have to trust me with this.

“All done,” I said to myself, rolling up the small scrap of parchment and placing it within a slender tube. I tucked it inside my boot for safe keeping and headed off to Raenor’s office. On my way, I calmed my nerves as best I could. I needed to appear flustered, angry, and defeated so Raenor wouldn’t become suspicious. He thought he had me dangling over a cliff, and I needed him to believe that.

Raenor read my letter, and eyed me suspiciously. I glared back with narrowed eyes of my own, but he still smiled arrogantly. “You shouldn’t be cross with me,” he said. “After all, I’m helping you keep your position.”

“You’re blackmailing not helping me. If you wanted to help, you would have minded your own business,” I scowled.

“You didn’t actually think you’d get away with all of this, did you? How could it possibly have worked, bound to an ellon, and a Prince no less, and keep your position as March warden?”

I refused to say anything else to him. He won … for now at least.

Still, Raenor eyed me. “You know, I’m a bit surprised at how well you’re accepting this, Rúmil. I thought you would have fought harder. Makes me wonder,” he said.

“You’ve managed to destroy the one thing that means the most to me. You are forcing my hand in this. I’m not doing it willingly. However, my brothers are just as important. I would sacrifice my happiness for them time and time again if it keeps their future intact. I love my brothers, and I’d see no harm come to them in any form. That’s what family does.”

“How noble of you,” he smirked. I left before my mind convinced me to grab the feather quill from his desk and stab him in the eye with it.

* * * *

Immediately, I went to visit Haldir. I needed to get my secret note on its way. I knew Raenor would waste no time sending my letter to Mirkwood. With the royal wedding taking place soon, Legolas would be on his way before long.

I spoke with my brother for a bit before I got to the reason for my visit. I didn’t want to seem too urgent. There was no need to involve my brothers in this mess. The less they knew, the better off they were. So I worked my curiosity into the conversation. “I suppose it’s been a long time since you sent anything by way of a falcon.” It fit in perfectly for we had been talking about different people we knew, one of them being Cúnon, the falconer Haldir used to use on occasion, who had also been a friend of our father’s.

“Well, with the world in chaos as it was, it wasn’t the most secure way to send messages. The orcs watched the skies for such things. And Cúnon wouldn’t risk his birds. They were too precious to him. He’d raised them from chicks, and he had a lot of time and effort invested in them.”

“I’m surprised he still has his business,” I said, fishing for information.

“Oh yes, he didn’t completely stop sending his birds. He just wouldn’t allow them beyond the borders of Lothlórien. When I was on duty on the outskirts, I used to use his services frequently to send messages back to the city,” Haldir explained. Then, a solemnness fell over him as he reminisced. Those had been the days when he was still March warden … when he could walk and fight, and led the troops to many victories.

I needed to find out where he was keeping his business, if he still had one. I laughed as though recalling a memory. “I remember Father taking me out to Cúnon’s home, on the north side I believe, and showing me the beautiful birds. I was so little at the time, and the falcons looked more like the great eagles to me.”

Haldir smiled and looked out of his window. “Ai, yes, I remember too. You always came home so excited to tell Oro and me about it.”

“I wonder if he’s still there, and if he still has his birds.” I thought I might as well just come out with it, since we were in the middle of this memory.

“Last I heard, Cúnon moved to the westernmost area of Lothlórien. I’m pretty sure he still has them. They are trained and wouldn’t leave for the wild,” Haldir said without a clue of my inquisition.

“And now, with the world quieting once more, I suppose Cúnon will allow his feathered messengers the freedom to travel past the borders,” I continued.

Haldir looked me over with sharp eyes that I hadn’t noticed in quite some time. “Are you in need of his services?” he asked curiously.

“It’s a good thing to know in case I ever do need them,” I replied, not saying yes or no to his question. I had my information. Now I could go to Cúnon secretly, and see if he would send my message to Mirkwood.

I spent a little more time with Haldir, and finally decided it was time to go. He bid me farewell, and I told him I would see him tomorrow. I didn’t think he was suspicious of anything, which was good. Now I needed to head out to the west and see if I could locate Cúnon. I had to get word to Legolas. There wasn’t a moment to spare.

As I was moving towards the city gates, I ran into Orophin, which I didn’t need at the moment. Haldir was easier to deceive. His mind wasn’t always clear lately. Orophin would pick up on my nervousness and urgency much easier. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for deception.

“Rúmil, how are you today?” Orophin greeted with a boisterous voice. He was clearly in a good mood.

“I’m doing alright. And you?” I said just as enthusiastically, clapping a hand to his shoulder.

“I am extraordinarily good, brother.” That was obvious. He looked as though he had . . .

“Late night with your female friend?” I jostled.

“Her name is Milya, and if you must know, it was very late indeed,” he boasted.

“How long has it been now … two weeks?” I said.

“We have been seeing each other for a month now, and very soon I am going to ask to court her,” he said with joy.

This was much more serious than I had known. It seemed that love was in the air, and not just with Orophin. Elves everywhere were finding mates and beginning the ritual. War was over. Peace was on the horizon. That’s when the elves thrived, and our communities expanded. I could almost predict when the explosion of newly begotten elflings would begin to infiltrate the Golden Woods.

“You don’t waste any time, do you?” I jested.

“And not a moment too soon.” He smiled and his eyes glazed over with infatuation. “She is definitely the one, Rúmil.”

How many times had I heard that before? But who was I to take away from his moment. I smiled and congratulated him. Then, he came out of his dream state and considered me a moment. “Where are you off to?”

“Oh, I’ve some business out to the west,” I said, giving very little information.

“Want some company? I’ve nowhere to be until later,” Orophin offered.

“No, that’s all right. Spend this time with your lady. I’m sure she’ll be surprised to see you so early.”

“Milya is on duty at the moment. She is a teacher, you know. Very smart, intellectual … beautiful.” And he was in his daydream once more. I had to laugh at myself. It was good to see Orophin in this state. It had been a long time.

“If it’s all the same to you, Oro, this is something I must take care of on my own.”

He became serious, and I regretted my words. That was all it took to make him curious. “Is everything all right? Do you need me to join you?”

“Really, it is nothing serious. I just need to speak with someone, and he is not in the city. Actually,” I sang to change the subject. “I just came from Haldir’s house. He seems in better spirits, and it is such a lovely day. Maybe you can get him out of the house for some fresh air. I think it will do him some good.”

“All right, if you’re sure you don’t need me,” he said disappointedly.

“I’m sure. I’ll see you later, perhaps for the evening meal … unless you are busy.”

“That would be splendid. I am meeting Milya then. You can join us. You really should get to know her,” he suggested.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I smiled and bowed. “Until then.” Now was my chance to head out, but just as Orophin and I were saying goodbye, we were caught off guard by none other than Raenor. I didn’t need this right now.

“Ah, Rúmil … Orophin. Lovely day isn’t it?”

Orophin remained cordial, but I did nothing to hide my disdain for Raenor. I let Orophin do the talking, and remained silently attentive as I watched Raenor from where I stood.

“And what might you be up to?” Raenor asked.

“I am off to see my lady, and Rúmil has dealings of his own,” Orophin answered.

Raenor turned back to Orophin. “Yes, I hear you have a new lady friend. Milya I believe?”

Orophin’s brows creased. “Yes that is her name. Hmph,” he chortled lightly. “Word travels fast doesn’t it?”

“Faster than you might think,” Raenor said, watching me from the corner of his eye.

Orophin was no fool, and he was suspicious of Raenor, who normally didn’t go out of his way to make light conversation with anyone from our family. We usually tried to avoid each other unless it couldn’t be helped. “Is there a reason for your sudden interest in my love life?” Orophin asked accusingly.

“Just taking notice, nothing more. She is a very lucky elleth to have found an honorable elf such as yourself. It’s just nice to see the elves moving forward with our way of life, especially after so much war and heartbreak. You do know her brother perished in battle.”

“Of course,” Orophin said, his tone sounding defensive as though waiting for Raenor to make trouble.

“As a matter of fact, if I recall correctly, he was a soldier in one of your regiments, wasn’t he?” Raenor asked me.

I hadn’t known this. Orophin never mentioned it, and I didn’t know who her brother was. “Actually, I–”

“He was originally stationed at the borders. He volunteered to march to Dol Guldur, even though he wasn’t supposed to go,” Orophin interrupted and answered for me.

Raenor didn’t care about Orophin’s answer. All he noticed was that I didn’t know about this bit of information. However, I pieced it together quickly and knew which soldier he spoke of. Nestaron was one of our best border guardsmen, and was supposed to stay in Lothlórien along with a few other lead border guards. A small number of troops were ordered to keep watch over Lothlórien so we weren’t completely vulnerable while the army was away. Nestaron insisted on going with the army. Haldir, who was March warden at the time, tried to convince him to stay, and that his position in Lothlórien was just as important as those who marched to war. The young soldier wouldn’t have it, and his request was approved. Nestaron never came home.

“Yes, well,” Raenor said, waving a hand. “It’s good to see Milya holds no reservations knowing her brother was under your older brother’s command at the time of his death. Curious how you and her have developed a relationship. Some might say it is out of sympathy. Poor thing. Left here without family, a damsel in distress. Of course, you, Orophin are an honorable elf. I’m sure you would never lead an elleth on under false pretenses. It’s only something I’ve heard in whispers amongst some of the others.”

“Milya is comforted by the thought that her brother died doing exactly what he was born to do,” Orophin said.

Raenor looked at me again, that same arrogant smirk on his face. “Did you not know about this?” he asked me.

“I know of the soldier in which you speak. I was not aware he had a sister. But I do know how much Orophin cares for her and she for him,” I said.

Raenor made a tsk-tsk sound of disapproval. “I’m surprised you were not fully aware, Rúmil. It is not good to keep secrets from one another. That sort of thing will always come back to bite you in the–”

“That will be enough,” Orophin said, defending me. “I must demand that you keep out of our business from now on.”

Raenor eyed us both for a moment. He seemed pleased with himself, and whatever doubt he might have stirred between Orophin and me.

“Just as well,” he finally said, sticking a pompous nose in the air. “I must be going. I have business to attend to, and messages to send.” His eyes bore down on mine as he said it. “Again, congratulations, Orophin.” Raenor said, turning a kind eye towards my brother. 

When Raenor was gone, Orophin rounded on me. “What was that all about?”

“I don’t know,” I answered.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s trying to stir things up. Has he been threatening you again?” Orophin demanded.

“It’s just Raenor being Raenor, nothing more. When is he not stirring things up?” I said nonchalantly.

My brother’s demeanor changed as he looked to the ground. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention Milya’s family. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but apparently, from what Raenor said, some might think I am not true about my feelings for her.”

“You are not the type,” I reassured him. “If you say your heart calls out to her, then I believe you. I know you would never intentionally tie yourself to an elleth out of pity or guilt.” I clapped my hand to his shoulder. “Raenor is just trying to put a wedge between us as usual. Don’t let him get to you. This is what he does. And if others are talking as he mentioned, then they are just jealous.” I grasped his shoulder tighter and smiled. “So, I shall meet you and Milya later for dinner. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Alright. See you then,” Orophin responded, and he seemed to be comforted by my words. “Just be careful of that warg.”

* * * *

I finally arrived at Cúnon’s home after a couple wrong turns, taking note that it was a bit further out than I originally thought. I needed to get back to my office, so I couldn’t spend too much time here. His house was a rather large flet built just below a divide in the branches, close to the canopy. I imagined it was this high up because of his birds. I crossed the bridge to his porch, made my way to the front door, and knocked. Cúnon answered and looked me over curiously.

“What is it you want?” he said grouchily.

I bowed respectfully with hand over heart and gave a polite smile. “I am Rúmil, March warden of the Northern guard, and I was wondering if I might speak with you.”

His eyes narrowed as he observed me. “March warden, eh? What would you be wanting with me?”

“Actually, I’ve come to ask to render your services.”

His sight never left me, as he judged me by my face and my position. “Guess I have to let you in … March warden and all. Don’t want to be disrespectful to an officer of the Lady’s army.” He opened the door the rest of the way and waved me in.

The inside of his house was simple, kitchen, wood burning stove, dinner table, living room with a hearth. And then there was a very beautiful writing desk made of white ash with very intricate details carved into the top, inlaid with silver or perhaps mithril. It had built-in shelves and rows of small drawers, each with a set of elvish runes on it. There was a black feather quill and ink on a silver tray pushed to one side, another larger square silver tray which held sheets of parchment, and an oval basket filled with little gold tubes like the one I had in my boot that carried my note. This desk was Cúnon’s pride and joy, the place where he conducted his business. I imagined the drawers belonged to his most important clients with their initials engraved on them. To the other side was a stone oil lamp, round but flat with a long nozzle on one end and a loop handle on the other.

“Care for some tea, March warden?” Cúnon offered.

“No, I’m afraid I cannot stay long,” I said as I looked around his home. It was bringing back some lost memories. “I remember coming here on occasion, as an elfling. My father used your services back then.”

“Who is your father?” Cúnon asked.

“Lagordir, March warden at the time,” I answered.

Cúnon came over and stood in front of me. “Ai, yes. Lagordir, I remember you father. I think I remember you too. You were such a small thing then. All you wanted to do was to see my birds. You were fascinated by them.”

I smiled at the memory. “Yes, it was always the highlight of my day when I got to see them.”

“Then you must be Rúmil of the Lórien Three … Your brothers, Orophin and Haldir?”

“Yes.”

He nodded but his smile faded. “I was sorry to hear about Haldir and his ailment. He is a fine ellon, your brother. Took up your father’s position and did a mighty great thing for Lothlórien. So, you have filled his boots then.”

“Yes.” I walked over to the desk. “Haldir tells me he used to use your services too, until things became too dangerous.”

“Oh yes, Haldir was always sending by falcon. As a matter of fact, he had a drawer there,” Cúnon said, his finger running along the drawers until he found the one he was looking for. “Here it is, same place as your father’s. Lagordir had his own drawer too. After he sailed, I retired it. When Haldir took over his position and became a regular customer, I made a new drawer for him.”

“What do you do with the discarded drawers?” I asked, suddenly filled with curiosity.

“Oh, I keep them. Don’t know why. They’re of no use to me anymore, unless someone new comes along who happens to have the same initials. Guess it’s a sentimental thing. Each one of those drawers held some kind of message that was important. Some changed the course of history on a rolled up piece of parchment with only a few words written on it. Some announced births or deaths, good news or bad.”

“So you still have my father’s drawer?”

“Why yes,” Cúnon smiled. “Wait right there, and I’ll get it.” He disappeared behind a curtain that covered a doorway to a back room.

I looked at my brother’s drawer and touched the inlaid silver rune, wondering what his notes had written on them.

“Here it is,” Cúnon said, reappearing with a small wooded drawer. The silver knob was tarnished from use, but the inlaid initials were still shiny. “Why don’t you keep that?” he told me.

“Oh, well I–”

“He was your father. By right, you should have that. It’s just sitting here collecting dust anyways.”

I smiled as I held a piece of family history in my hands. “Thank you very much.”

“Anyways, you said you were in a hurry. What is it you need?”

“Haldir told me you stopped sending your birds out at one point, but I was wondering if you were open again for business. I have a vital message to get to a very important person … outside of Lothlórien.”

“Depends. Where would you be needing the message to go?” Cúnon asked.

“Mirkwood,” I said, and I didn’t like the look he was giving.

“Mirkwood, eh?” he said skeptically. “I don’t believe I can do that.”

“I understand why you are hesitant, but it is a much different land now. A great cleansing is taking place there, since the dark lord has been abolished.”

“I lost my favorite falcon to that place when the sickness was first spreading,” Cúnon reminisced.

“I can see your hesitancy, and I would agree with you, but I’ve been to Mirkwood recently, and I can safely say that–”

“Oh, it’s not because of that,” Cúnon interrupted. “I’m afraid someone has already rented my bird.”

“Someone … has … rented . . .?” I said with confusion.

“Just beat you by half an hour, unfortunately. A messenger arrived from the army offices with an urgent message for the Prince of Mirkwood. Almost didn’t accept it because it wasn’t standard size. My birds are not used to carrying the larger tubes, but he gave me extra coin for my trouble, and I’m not one to turn away a hefty payment.

I felt my heart drop as I realized who had acquired Cúnon’s bird. “Was the messenger sent from March warden Raenor’s office?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. You know, you need to communicate better. Had you known my bird was already rented, it could have saved you the long trip out here.”

“Surely you have another falcon who can take my message. I’ll pay you triple whatever the messenger gave you,” I begged, a last ditch effort to get my note to Legolas.

“Sorry March warden, but I’ve only one bird that travels to Mirkwood. The others do not know the way. They have other locations that they travel to. That’s how they are trained. One bird for each location. Now, I can take you note and hold it for you. Once my falcon comes back and has rested for the required amount of time, then I can send your message. I’m afraid that’s all I can offer.”

“It’s too late,” I said solemnly. “I needed it to go out now. Thank you anyway, Cúnon.” This was my only chance to intercept the letter Raenor forced me to write. He told me he had a messenger taking it. I didn’t think he meant for the messenger to bring it here. So, when Raenor stopped Orophin and I, it must have been a diversion to give his messenger the time to come out here before I could. He assumed I would come up with my plan, and now it was failed. Legolas would have that letter in his hands before the day was through, and then it would be over. There had to be another way, but I didn’t know what to do.

I started to leave, but Cúnon stopped me and looked at his ornate writing desk. “I suppose I should make you your own drawer now. Your brother, he will not be . . .” he wondered politely.

“No, I’m afraid not,” I said sadly. “His injury is permanent.”

“In that case, could you give him this,” Cúnon said. He went to his desk, opened Haldir’s drawer and emptied it into his hand. There was a small golden tube inside. He brought it to me and dropped it in my palm. “He left this. Told me not to send it until he gave me word. It’s been here for a long time, and since he no longer needs a drawer, I have no reason to hold it any longer. Should he still want to send it I will … free of charge, of course.”

“I’ll make sure to give it to him,” I said, examining the golden trinket in my hand. I carefully tucked it inside a pocket in my tunic.

“You’ll give him my regards?” Cúnon said.

“Absolutely,” I smiled forcefully, and then I went back home.

I laid in bed that night, and I could feel my soul emptying. I knew by now Legolas had read the letter. I imagined his shock and disappointment as he read my script, telling him that I couldn’t bond with him, and that I wanted to end our relationship all together. Would he really believe that without challenging it? I put myself in his place, and after months with no answer to his original proposal, I would probably believe it too. Legolas knew I was hesitant to begin with. He must have thought that I had finally folded and given up on ever having a future with him. It seemed apparently impossible, especially with my new position as March warden. I thought about what it meant to bond with him. The politics of it went beyond two ellyn falling in love. He was a prince in his land, and to bond to him would mean I would have partial right to Mirkwood, unless a contract was drawn up in which I would give up any right. Mirkwood would have two princes. Of course, I was only assuming that this was how it worked. After all, it was Mirkwood, and Wood elves played by a different set of rules. Thranduil would never allow it, would probably have me assassinated. I chortled at the thought, but I wouldn’t put it past the King to consider it. I would have given up each and every right just to be with Legolas, if that’s what it took. I would never know now. He probably hated me, cursed the day I ever stepped foot in Mirkwood.

* * * * *

For the next week, I avoided everyone unless it had to do with army business. I buried myself in my work to avoid grieving. But at night, I could feel the loneliness. A part of me was missing, empty. There was a void in my heart, and I knew it was Legolas. Even across all the miles, I could feel he had moved away from me, my soul. It was more than just missing him after being apart for so long. He was actually gone from my heart, and I knew he believed what he read. The pain I felt was horrible. He was a constant stabbing in my chest, dull but never letting up. Legolas had given up on me, and he took back the precious gift of his love. I wondered if he felt a similar pain within him.

So, this was what it felt like to lose someone. I had never felt such a void in all my life. Not even my failed relationships with Fandir and Túron left me feeling so devastatingly empty. I always knew I loved Legolas, and I always hoped that we would be together forever, but not until now did I realize just how strong our connection was. A part of me was ripped away, and I knew it was Legolas’ soul. Perhaps we had already bonded in some sort of way. Our link to each other was strong, but now it was broken, and I wasn’t sure how I would continue to deal with the loss. Was this similar to losing someone to death? If so, I could finally understand why one would sail. I could see why my mother left after the stillbirth of her last child. The will to go on in this world was overshadowed by the grief of loss, of knowing you would never see your loved one again. I knew now for a fact that if Legolas had died while completing his mission to destroy Sauron, I would have sailed. The only thing keeping me from hearing the sea longing was knowing that Legolas yet lived. But the devastation of knowing he possibly hated me and wanted nothing more to do with me was enough to cloud my brain.

I had to do something.

My first attempt was to send another note to Legolas. It was brief and I asked that he meet with me and allow me to explain my situation. This was something I couldn’t do in a letter. I had to see him face to face. So I made another trip to Cúnon’s home, and found his falcon free to take my message. A week later, I returned to find my new drawer with a small golden tube inside. I excitedly opened it, hoping Legolas had agreed to meet me somewhere. My fingers fumbled as my hands shook, but I somehow managed to unroll the piece of parchment. I was met with a familiar script and words that I recognized because they were my own. It was my note sent back to me, refused by the Prince. I wouldn’t give up that easily, and sent my message several more times, but each time it was sent back to Lothlórien. This wasn’t going to work. I had to find another way.

As I sat in my office, Raenor paid me a visit. My heart dropped. I hadn’t spoken to him since he first blackmailed me. He was smart to keep his distance. It was because of him that I was in this mess.

“What do you want,” I said without lifting my head from my ledger.

“A little bird has sang me a tune. You have broken our agreement,” Raenor said as he glared at me from across the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said to try and make myself vulnerable. Again, I was bad at this kind of thing. It didn’t matter much. I knew I’d been spied on.

“Multiple visits to see Cúnon, the falconer. I assume you are sending correspondence to Mirkwood,” Raenor accused. 

“I am a March warden. I have dealings with the Wood elves. How else am I supposed to–”

“Cut the shit, Rúmil. I know that you are trying to contact … him.” He said this as though the word poisoned his tongue.

There wasn’t any proof of this. All my notes had been returned and I burned them. “Search my home, my office. You’ll find nothing.”

“I don’t need to,” he said with a smirk. He pulled a folded parchment from his tunic, and I recognized it, the letter from Legolas. “This is all I need to bury you.”

I stared at the letter and its familiar wax seal. The ink on that page were the last words Legolas said to me, proclaiming his undying love and asking for my hand. It felt like a violation to see it in Raenor’s greasy hand.

“Consider this your first warning, and I suggest you make no more personal trips to the falconer,” he threatened. He tucked the note back inside his tunic and left.

Once alone, I let my head fall onto my desk. I laid there slumped over for a while as I tried to think of another way to contact Legolas. I wasn’t ready to give up, even with Raenor’s threats. My first idea was failed. Notes were turned away and came back unread. I couldn’t send a messenger. This was a private matter that would be questioned. I could only think of one other way, and that was to personally go to Mirkwood and demand an audience with the Prince. I would have to devise a plan so that Raenor’s spies couldn’t follow me. I was working alone though. My brothers didn’t know anything about my situation and I wanted it to stay that way. Haldir was in no position to worry for me. He was dealing with his own troubles. His mental state was fragile. He didn’t need to worry about me too. Orophin never did like the thought of my relationship with Legolas, and I would not drag him into the middle of this. I knew I had his love and brotherly support, but he would only be pushed so far. He would never turn me in, but his trust and faith in me would be lost, and that was more devastating to me.

“Rúmil? Are you all right?” came a voice from the door. I looked up and saw Túron. This was the last thing I needed right now.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I said, my voice dark.

“I’m not here for personal reasons. I know better than that,” he replied, and I could hear the slight ire in his words.

“I’m sorry,” I said and I forced a smile. “What brings you here?”

“My employer,” he responded. “Master Pallon of the libraries is having trouble getting permission to ship a crate of books to Mirkwood.”

“Why come to me?” I asked with suspicion. “This sounds like a problem with–”

“I know … but … I’ve tried and I have gotten nowhere with them.” Túron stepped further into my office, slowly as though it was forbidden ground, and in a way it was. “I’m sorry, Rúmil, but I wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t important. Master Pallon has given me this job, and if I fail him he will let me go. For the first time I have a place and a job that I feel I can do well. You know I was never good at soldiering and my days as a spy are behind me. There’s no demand for my services anymore. But I feel a connection with the library. It is peaceful and the people are kind to me. I haven’t exactly had the best reputation after … well, you know how that story goes.”

I stood from my desk and went to him. “Who is harassing you, Túron?”

“I don’t want to say. I don’t want you to get involved, and if you knew, you would.”

I didn’t like the idea of someone harassing him. I still felt the need to protect him. Our past may be behind us, but he was still my friend and owned a piece of my heart. However, I had my suspicion about who this mystery person was. “Is it Raenor?” I asked softly. Túron looked at the floor and would not answer. “Please tell me. I promise I will not do anything foolish.”

His eyes slowly lifted to meet mine. He sighed deep and nodded his answer. “He has turned people against me because of what happened. He blames me for that soldier’s early discharge from the army. He’s spread rumors about my unsavory ways with ellyn, how I seduce them only to tear them down.”

“That’s not true. You were used. We all were. And Raenor was the instigator,” I argued.

“I know that, and you know that, but with the cover up, the blame was easily laid upon me to bear. I think Raenor keeps my reputation begrimed in order to keep his secret. There was never any way to prove that he was involved in that whole ordeal. Fandir took all the blame for setting up the scheme with the tainted wine. Raenor probably holds something over his head too.”

“One day we will expose him for what he actually is,” I said with ire as I thought about what Raenor held over my head.

“Has something happened?” Túron asked curiously, his head cocked to the side as he waited for me to answer.

I wish I could have told him, but I didn’t want to involve him. He’d been through enough as it was, and unfortunately, some were still making his life miserable. Instead of answering, I inquired about him again. “Why do you stay, Túron? Why not leave Lothlórien and start over somewhere else.”

“Where would I go,” he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “Back to my home in Rivendell? You know I cannot go back there with my history. And I have no desire to seek residence in Mirkwood, beneath the ground like a dwarf. Not to be rude, but I don’t think I could ever live in such a confining place. Besides, I don’t think I could leave Lothlórien now.” As he said this, the color darkened on his cheeks and the corner of his sweet mouth upturned slightly.

“You have met someone, haven’t you?” I asked. If there was anything I ever wanted for him, it was to move on as I had done.

Túron blushed even deeper as he nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to be–”

“No, absolutely not. I’ve wished this for you for such a long time now. This is wonderful news, and I am so happy for you.”

“He is very special to me and I to him. It is still new, but it feels like we’ve known each other for an eternity. Lothlórien is his home, and he’d never live anywhere else. I would rather take the ridicule than to uproot him. He is the reason I stay, the reason I don’t care what others say about me, because he knows me better than anyone … except maybe you, of course.”

“I could say the same about–” I stopped before I said his name.

“You’ve asked about me, but you will not tell me about your life. I could always tell when something wasn’t sitting right with you. What is it, Rúmil?”

“It’s a lot of things, but nothing that I want to involve you in,” I said.

“You do know who you’re talking to,” he said smartly. “Out with it.”

“I guess you could say you’re not the only one having trouble with Raenor. He’s found something very personal of mine, and now he’s using it against me,” I fessed up.

“I’m sorry,” he said with true empathy. “He’s been a thorn in your side since I could remember. I wish I could do something, but I’m afraid I don’t have as much pull as I used to.”

Just then a thought occurred to me. “Túron, I know you said you don’t engage in spy work anymore, but would you be willing to come out of retirement for one last assignment?”

“Depends. Does it have anything to do with Raenor?” he asked with an impish grin.

I nodded my answer.

“When shall we start?” he said.


	25. Chapter 25

For the next couple of days, Túron and I met and discussed my plan. I came clean and told him what had happened. He knew about Legolas’ proposal and how Raenor found his letter. He knew about the blackmailing, and my failed attempt to get word to Legolas through the falconer. I now realized that I couldn’t do this alone. I couldn’t involve my brothers in my scheme, and there was no one else I trusted. Túron had no problem helping me. He said it was because his reputation was already tarnished, but I knew it was because he still cared about me and my happiness too.

As luck would have it, Túron had once been my assistant. I was only a Captain then, but he still knew how things ran around the military offices. He had sent out countless orders that I had approved, and even helped to organize meetings and such. He knew how to keep certain people at bay so that I could get work done. Túron had been an asset to me when we worked together. So the first part of my plan came together easily.

Túron needed to get approval to send a crate of books to Mirkwood, and he came to me for help. I needed to get to Mirkwood without raising suspicion. So for a few days, Túron was going to become March warden of the Northern Guard while I took his job as the librarian’s assistant.

I organized countless meetings for my Captains to have with their troops, made sure the practice schedule was full, and then gave myself a pile of work and an order not to be disturbed. I had my whole battalion keeping extremely busy for the next few days to let Túron run things with as little distractions as possible while I was gone. We even went as far as to exchange outfits. That way, at the end of the day, Túron could leave my office and it would look like me, as long as he stayed hidden beneath my hooded cloak. There were so many different things on the schedule, there shouldn’t have been any reason for interruptions, leaving Túron alone while I was gone. I knew he could handle an inquiries that came to my office, and in turn he would keep everyone away.

While Túron acted on my behalf, I would do the same for him. I would dress in his clothes, and join the traders who were responsible for delivering the crate to Mirkwood. Again, I would stay cloaked and hooded. Túron said it shouldn’t be difficult. He was a solitary elf, and he didn’t interact much with the others. In return, they found him odd and left him alone.

The traders wouldn’t have very far to go. They made their deals outside of the Rhovanion. A small band of Wood elves would meet them at their rendezvous point. My plan was to convince the Wood elves to allow me to travel with the crate all the way to the palace. When I, as March warden, gave the order to ship the crate, I made it clear that Master Pallon’s assistant must remain with the delivery to ensure nothing happened to any of the precious books within. As it turned out, there were books inside that once had a home within Mirkwood, called the Greenwood at the time. As evil and their threats grew, these books were sent to Lothlórien for safe keeping. They were one of a kind, personal ledgers of King Oropher, Legolas’ grandsire. He had documented the war up until the time of his death. His entries were an exact account of the war, and something like that couldn’t be replicated. A witness of Lothlórien would need to document the delivery to ensure it arrived as planned.

The day came, and that morning I met with my brothers at Haldir’s talan. “I’m afraid I won’t be available for the next few days. I’ll be buried in paperwork that I must get done.”

“All work and no pleasure,” Orophin jested.

“Yes, I know, but this cannot be helped. It will require long hours and late nights. Oro, I’d appreciate it if you helped to keep interruptions to a minimum.”

“Not a problem,” Orophin agreed. It wasn’t the first time I’d asked him to do this.

“I promise as soon as my time has freed up, we will enjoy one of our evenings together, but for now I must be a recluse.” They both understood, and so my plan was underway. As Oro and I were leaving, Haldir called out to me. I told Orophin to go on without me, and that I’d catch up. Haldir waited until my middle brother was gone before he spoke.

“What is this about, Rúmil?” he inquired with furrowed brows.

“Just work, nothing more,” I said.

“You are behaving strangely,” he said with suspicion. “Something is going on, and I’d like to know what it is.”

“Nothing is going on, dear brother. You are–”

“I know you Rú. You are hiding something.” He cocked his head to the side and observed me. “Have you heard from Legolas as of late?”

I tried to hide my emotions, but my eyes could never hold a secret from Haldir. “It has been a long while.”

“He prepares to leave for Gondor, I’m sure. Thranduil will be sending him as a representative for Mirkwood for the royal wedding,” he informed.

“This much I know.”

Haldir studied me a long moment. “Are you running off to Gondor to join him?”

“What? No. I would not do that.” I sounded guilty already. My voice went higher than normal.

“You’re running off somewhere. Might as well tell me now before I devise of a way to blackmail you.” He said it with humor, but the one word brought terror to my face.

“Please don’t say that,” I said somberly.

Haldir wheeled his chair to where I stood by the door. He grasped my arm and looked up at me pleadingly. “Tell me little brother,” he asked sweetly.

I gave a sigh and rolled my eyes toward the ceiling. “No one knows this, but … I’ve been found out.” Every word was a struggle to get out.

“You mean someone knows about–”

“They know everything.” I hung my head.

Haldir turned his head to the side. I could see his hands ball into fists as he uttered the name. “Raenor.”

I nodded.

“How?”

“I was careless. He found a letter … from Legolas … in which he … he proposed that we … that we become … bond mates.”

Haldir glanced up at me with shock. “He asked you to bind to him?”

“Yes.”

“And what were you going to tell him?” Haldir was more interested in this than the actual problem.

“I don’t know what I was going to say. I was still considering all my options, and finding them to be few. And then there was an emergency, and I fled my office before making sure everything was put away and–”

“And Raenor found the letter,” Haldir said.

I nodded again. “He forced me to answer Legolas in a letter that stated I wished to end our relationship. He made me give it to him to read, and then he sent it to Mirkwood. I tried to intercept it by going to see Cúnon and have a note sent to warn Legolas to disregard the letter, but Raenor beat me to it. By now, Legolas thinks I want nothing more to do with him, but that’s not true. I need to get word to him somehow and tell him that it was false. I am being blackmailed.”

“Let me guess. If you don’t do as Raenor tells you, he will turn you in to Lord Celeborn and ruin mine and Orophin’s careers as well.”

“That’s the story. Now you know. You can yell at me. Tell me how horribly I screwed things up or that I should have known better. There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already berated myself over.”

“What is your plan now?” Haldir asked without lowering his authority over me.

“I was going to go to Mirkwood and see him in person.”

“And just how did you plan to do that?” Haldir’s voice rose.

“You’re not going to like this next part either. I have enlisted Túron to–”

“Túron? You can’t … Are you actually … What kind of a failed plan is this?”

I was almost glad he couldn’t get up out of that chair and smack me in the head. He looked like he wanted to. “It is not failed. I arranged for a shipment from the library to be delivered to Mirkwood. I will go in Túron’s place, and he will take over my position. I’ve made the schedule heavy so I shouldn’t have many inquiries. Túron used to be my assistant, and he knows military procedure. Everything will be just fine.” My explanation was sketchy at best, and I could see that Haldir was confused.

“Preposterous!” he yelled. “I may not be March warden anymore, but I’m your brother, and you oldest brother at that. I forbid you to do this.”

“It’s too late. Túron is already on his way.”

“Then stop him. Stop all of this madness. You do understand that what you have conjured in that demented head of yours will not, nor shall it ever work. You might as well deliver yourself to the Lord and Lady and confess everything right now. It will be easier than trying to explain any of this.”

I flopped down on his couch, feeling defeated before I had started anything. “You don’t understand. Nobody understands. The things I was forced to write in that letter … Legolas will never speak to me again, and I don’t think I can go on knowing that. I know you think this is nothing more than some frivolous act. But I’m telling you that I’m an ellon desperate to save the most important thing in my life, and that’s my relationship with him. I can feel it, Haldir. I can feel the emptiness in my soul. He’s read that letter and he thinks I’ve abandoned him. How am I supposed to go on allowing him to think that without even trying to make it right? This isn’t how it was with Fandir or even Túron. When they were gone, I gathered the broken pieces of my heart and went on. But Legolas, he holds my heart and my soul. If he throws them away, I will not get them back. They will be gone forever and so my will to go forward does not exist. For the first time, I have found someone who wants me no matter who I am or what I do. Someone who is willing to compromise just to ensure my happiness. And in turn, I have to be willing to make certain adjustments too. This was what we were working on before Raenor ruined everything. Now, Legolas thinks I will not even try, that I’ve given up altogether. I’m not abandoning Lothlórien or my position as March warden, but I need Legolas in my life. That’s what it all comes down to.” I was exhausted after confessing the truth. No one knew just how deep my love for Legolas was. I didn’t expect Haldir to understand. I didn’t think he’d ever found true love as I had. I just wanted him to let me do what I needed to do.

“I had no idea,” Haldir said softly after a long silence. “And you said in his letter, he asked you to bind to him?”

“He did.”

“And you understand that a decision like that lasts until the ends of the worlds.”

“I do. And I know what will happen if he disappears from my life or I from his. It feels like … like we are already bound. I am desperate to get him back. I’m willing to do anything.”

Haldir went silent again. He was considering something. I thought it was about whether to let me get on with my plan or not. Time was running short, and if I wanted to head out with the traders, I needed to leave now. Finally, he looked at me from his chair. “Has Legolas ever spoken to you about the events that happened while he was gone with the fellowship?”

I wasn’t sure what this had to do with anything, but I answered. “He told me quite a bit. It was a very challenging time, but it was a success, and because of his deeds, evil has been vanquished and the world of men shall advance as it should.”

“Did he ever tell you about his time spent sailing to Gondor?”

I thought about it a moment. “Actually, yes. He told me about gaining the Army of the Dead, and capturing the Corsair ships. It was all part of their plan.”

“He didn’t tell you anything else?”

“He was a bit vague, but … why are you asking me this, Haldir?” He moved his chair backward and rolled over to a window that overlooked the many pathways in Lothlórien. He was really worrying me. What did he know about Legolas that I did not? “Hal?” I whispered, almost afraid to ask.

Finally, he glanced over his shoulder and spoke. “I will help you.”

“You’ll … help me?” I was completely thrown by this.

“Your plan is failed. Go now and tell Túron to send word to the Librarian that March warden Rúmil must go in person to deliver the books.”

“What? But–”

“Do you want to see Legolas before he leaves for Gondor?” Haldir said stern and to the point.

“Yes, of course.” I thought I better not argue lest he change his mind.

“Then tell Túron he is not needed except to send the message. Tell your Captains that you have official business in Mirkwood. I will sit in for you while you are gone, but you need to leave as soon as possible.”

I was dumbfounded and stood where I was as I tried to register what was taking place. When I could finally move again, I went to my brother and got on my knees so that we were eye to eye. “Why are you doing this? I thought you didn’t want me to–”

“I don’t,” he said, his voice cracked with emotion. “But there is no mistaking what it is you feel in your heart. I know this because … I found that very same thing once. I chose differently. You should not. Especially not with Legolas now that he’s–” Haldir cut his words short and would not finish the sentence. He looked into my eyes, and I thought I saw the glimmer of a tear, but thought better and blamed it on the lighting. “Leave today, Rúmil. Speak to Legolas before he leaves for the White City. Hopefully it is not too late. I’ll do what I can to keep Raenor at bay, but you’ll have a bloody mess on your hands when you get back. Don’t worry,” he paused to smile. “We will figure this out. We always do.”

Haldir hinted to his past, and I remembered the little gold tube that Cúnon gave to me, the one he’d taken from Haldir’s drawer. I still had it tucked away inside my tunic. Could it be that he’d meant to send this to the person he spoke of? I reached for my hidden pocket and retrieved the tube. “While I was at Cúnon’s home, he gave this to me. I’d forgotten about it. I should have given it to you sooner, but with everything happening . . .”

Haldir stared at the golden vessel, as though he was afraid to touch it. Apparently, he hadn’t thought about it in a long while, maybe he’d forgotten it was there, a piece of his past catching up to him. Slowly, he reached for it, taking it from my hand. He held it in his fingers, studying it a moment, but he didn’t open it.

“I have your drawer too,” I said to break the silent tension. “But it’s at my flet. Cúnon said you might want it.”

“He’s making you your own drawer I suppose,” Haldir said, his eyes never leaving the message container.

I nodded.

Haldir blinked several times, breaking the trance he was in. He palmed the little vessel and looked up at me. His eyes had changed, and I saw a distant light in them, the one that had always filled them before the accident. I thought that whoever that message was meant to reach held a similar light in his eyes for Haldir. I hoped that one day he would tell me his story, but now was not the time.

“You should be on your way soon. Don’t fret about things here. I will take care of it,” Haldir said.

I leaned onto my brother and hugged him. I finally had someone on my side, someone who understood what I was going through. I cupped his face and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Brother.”

“I love you too. Now hurry. There’s not much time.”

“I’m going right now,” I said as I stood.

“Take my horse if you want. She’s better for long travel. She requires fewer stops,” he said.

“All right,” I answered. Then a thought occurred to me. “But how will I explain my need to travel ahead of cargo?”

“I’ll think something up. Don’t worry about any of this here. All you need to do is get to Mirkwood quickly and talk to Legolas.”

“If you say so. All right. I’m leaving. Thank you again, Hal.”

“Go on,” he said shooing me toward the door. “And be careful navigating the Rhovanion. It is not completely devoid of the creatures just yet.”

I heard him say this as I exited his home. Then I ran back to my flet and packed for my journey. Next, I found Túron and told him about the change in plans, making sure he knew that Haldir was a part of it now. If Túron needed to go to anyone for anything, he could count on my brother to help. He wished me well and I headed for the stables, where I took Haldir’s horse, and started out on the path to my questionable future.

>>\------->

I finally broke over the border and entered the Rhovanion, finding it much the same as it was the last time I came here. It was still dark and dismal. The trees’ gnarled trunks and branches made it seem like they were weeping, and they probably were. I could not hear them. They must have stopped talking centuries ago. It still smelled of decay, but it was not as putrid as it once had been. A great number of beasts were either killed or fled from the land at the death of Lord Sauron. However, this much evil would not be vanquished easily. There were still creatures lurking in the dark places, hidden by shadows where they waited for their next victim to come by. I would make sure I was not one of them.

I couldn’t travel the trees like the Wood elves had taught me. Because I was in a hurry, I took Haldir’s horse into the forest. There was a path to follow, and as long as I didn’t meet trouble, it would cut my travel time down by half. Belan was a magnificent beast, used to dealing with difficult situations, and I felt very safe riding her. I could tell if something was close to us by the different sounds she would make. She was nervous, and that was natural, but she would not throw me like the last horse I brought here.

About an hour into my travels through the dark forest, I heard the familiar bird calls and remembered Legolas using them to signal his people. The Wood elves knew I was here. I checked to make sure I looked non-threatening. My bow was securely fastened, knives sheathed, and I took my hood down so they would know it was me. I reached up with both hands, and started to push the hood of my cape back when I felt something wrap around my waist. Before I had a moment to see what it was, I was yanked from my horse, and landed hard on the ground. My horse, trained to stay with her fallen rider, trotted irritatingly around me. I glanced down at my waist to see what pulled me down, and just caught sight of the end of a rope whipping along the forest floor. Elvish rope, I thought. Lothlórien used it too. With just a flick, it could tie itself tight and with just a tug, come loose easily. I remembered Galadriel gifting a length to one of the hobbits when Legolas’ fellowship left Caras Galadhon. I hadn’t known that Mirkwood had possession of any elvish rope. I knew it now.

She dropped down from a nearby tree, two other female elves with her. She was a sight for sore eyes … at first. And then I saw the rage on her face as she came a little closer.

“Corweth, I’m glad it’s you,” I called out as I started to get up. “I need to get to the palace as fast as we–”

“You’re not welcome here,” she said sternly.

I was afraid of this. Corweth was very protective of those she loved and cared about. She never really warmed up to me, not at first. It was her sister, Messel who I dealt with. Of course, she was gone now. It hurt my heart to think of that day, when she died in battle. But I thought Corweth and I had finally made amends after that. Not now. Now she looked like she wanted to skewer me through my gut. It was apparent to me. She knew about my letter to Legolas, and she was angry. “Please, if you give me a moment, I can explain.”

“I’m not the one you need to talk to,” she said.

“Then he is here?” I asked impatiently. “Legolas is still at the palace?” I got no response except for three sets of eyes that wished for my extermination.

She studied me carefully, her ire the most prominent emotion, but there was something underlying in her steely gaze. She was wrestling with her thoughts. “I have my orders. I am to see that you make your way back from whence you came.”

“By whose orders? The king or the prince,” I challenged her. I wasn’t going to give up now after coming all this way and risking everything in the process.

“You must leave. Now,” she said, and her two companions took a step closer to me. I was going to be escorted away no matter what.

“Corweth, please, just listen to me. I must see him. I have to explain the letter. It wasn’t me. I swear to you that is the truth.” I didn’t know anything else to do but beg. Corweth, once her mind was made, wouldn’t listen to anyone. It had always been Messel who made her see reason.

After a few nerve wrecking moments, she finally glanced over each shoulder and gave a nod to her companions, signaling for them to give us a private moment alone to talk. I’d never been so relieved. I watched the other two elves walk off into the dark woods, and waited until I was sure they were far enough away before I released the breath I was holding. Then, I let my shoulders relax and was about to speak when Corweth lunged at me and pinned me to the closest tree. Before I knew what had happened, she had two knives out, one at my throat and the other at my bollocks. I didn’t dare move a muscle.

“M-my, y-you’re much faster than I r-remember,” I stammered nervously. I was more worried about the knife below than the one at my throat.

“Do you remember what I told you when you first came to Mirkwood?” she said venomously.

“You said I was pompous and arrogant,” I answered. I felt the back of her hand press tighter against the inside of my thigh and swallowed the lump in my throat.

She leaned closer, her lips up against my ear, and whispered, “I said that if you ever hurt Legolas I would cut off your balls and feed them to the spiders. And my company and I just came across evidence of a nest. We happened to be in the middle of figuring out an approach to attacking it when you came along. Perhaps I’ll do so by distracting them with a meal . . .” She paused and glanced down at my crotch. “More like a snack … aye?”

“At least you didn’t say morsel.” That was a mistake. She was in no mood for jesting. The knife pressed against my throat, and her other hand began to tremble slightly. One false move and I’d be turned from a rooster to a hen. “All right. All right,” I said submissively. “You’re right, and I do remember your threat. But you have to know that love him, and I would never intentionally do anything to hurt him. That letter … it wasn’t … I didn’t … I was blackmailed and forced to write it. I’ve been found out, Corweth. My position in the army, my family name, mine and my brothers’ reputation is all at risk. By coming here, I’ve put it all on the line, and I’ve done it to make things right between Legolas and me. But I can only do that if you’ll let me go to the palace and make my plea. I’m begging you to let me through. Take me in as a prisoner. Tie my wrists, my legs. Drag me the rest of the way from the back of my horse. I don’t care, just let me speak to him before it’s too late.”

“It may be too late already,” she said.

“Sounds to me as though there is still a sliver of a chance,” I smiled carefully. I felt her hand relax away from my lower region, but I still didn’t move a muscle. I hadn’t gotten through to her yet, and dared to make my next statement. “Messel would have let me through.”

“Don’t,” Corweth warned dangerously.

“You know it is true. Out of all of us, she was the one who always saw the positive in any situation.” I hoped my words were softening her heart, if just a tiny bit.

She didn’t move for what seemed like forever. Finally, she lowered both weapons and took a step back. She just glared at me, unsure whether to speak to me or not. “That letter destroyed him,” she said quietly.

My stomach clenched to think of him reading it. “I tried to intervene and send a note before it arrived, but my enemy was quicker than me. There was nothing I could do to stop it. That’s why I’m here now. I can feel the emptiness in my heart. Legolas has given up on me.”

“He’s given up on a lot of things lately. He’s not himself. He hasn’t been since he came home after the war. I tried to talk to him about it, but he told me he was tired. He said it was a very difficult journey he’d been on, and it would take time to get used to being home.” The ire returned to her eyes as she narrowed them on me. “And then that letter came. I hardly see him anymore. He locks himself away in his room. Not even Thranduil can make him come out. I fear for what dark shadow has cast itself upon him. Maybe … maybe you can cast some light upon him once more. Or maybe he’ll order you to be hung.” She said the last part as though meant to be a joke, but I couldn’t help noticing the seriousness of her undertone.

“I will accept the punishment, if that is what it will take to make him whole again,” I said. “I care only for Legolas and his well-being, not for my own.” I softened the features on my face and took her hand gently in mine. “Let me at least try, Corweth.”

She tried to remain stern, and her hard stare barely faltered, but just barely. I saw it before she said it. She still believed in me and Legolas. Without taking her eyes from me, she whistled twice and her companions came back. “We will escort him to the palace.”

The female elf on her right stepped forward. “But you were told to–”

“He comes with us, and that is final,” Corweth interrupted. She reminded me of Haldir in that instant, whenever one of his captains used to question him. “I will take full responsibility for my actions. Neither of you will be reprimanded. All I ask is that both of you run on ahead and notify the king about our visitor so that there are no surprises.”

“Are you sure you trust him?” the elf on her left asked.

“I do. We will travel slower because of the horse, but we won’t be far behind. Now go on,” Corweth demanded.

I watched the two elves head off through the forest and breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. You might not like what you find once we get there,” she warned.

I called to my horse, and we took our positions. Corweth told me where to go so that we could navigate the forest safely. We didn’t speak for the longest time. I didn’t know what to say, and she wasn’t in a talking mood. Corweth was tense at this point. I thought she seemed worried about the response when she came back to the palace with me in tow. She had disobeyed her orders, and I knew Thranduil did not tolerate that kind of behavior. I was sure it was the king who gave the orders to turn me away. He never much cared for me as a companion to his son, although he never tried to stop us before. I hadn’t torn his son’s heart out then either. I knew of the king’s overbearing protectiveness towards his only son. I was now a threat, and that would not bode well in the king’s halls.

“You were right about Messel,” Corweth said, surprising me when she suddenly spoke after such a long silence. “She always did have the ability to not assume malice so quickly. She was constantly trying to teach me the same, but I always assume the worst. Without her here, I find it difficult to see both sides.”

“Even with a friend, it seems,” I said to remind her that we had once found common ground between us.

“You still see me as such?” Corweth asked lightly from behind me as my horse walked steadily along the path. We were moving at a slow pace so that roots and stones wouldn’t hurt her feet.

“Of course. Nothing has changed, at least not for me.” I needed Corweth to trust me again. I might need her support once I got to the palace.

“So, what happened, Rúmil? How did your secret get out? Did someone see you with another ellon?” Her tone was accusatory, and I wondered what she had conjured up in her mind.

“No,” I said, revolted by her idea that I would take another lover to my bed. “Absolutely not. Why would you think such a thing?”

“You have been separated for a long time, and that causes much pent up desire. Am I right?” She was looking for a reason to hate me again. It was easier for her to reject than to accept.

“You are completely off the mark. I would never do that to Legolas,” I said with defiance, wishing I could get away from her accusations. Unfortunately, we were stuck on the back of a horse together until we got to the palace. “I thought you knew what took place between Legolas and me. I thought that was why you were so angered by that letter he received.”

“All I know is that you two were head over heels the last time I saw you together, and then you sent that horrible note.”

“Did you not see the letter?” I asked.

“I saw him reading it. I saw the pure joy on his face as he broke the seal, and then the disbelief and heartbreak as he eyes scanned down the parchment. I asked him what was wrong. For a moment, I thought something happened to you … that you died in a battle perhaps. Legolas stumbled and I ran to catch him. I asked him what happened, fearing the worst, but it was more injurious than what my mind could come up with. The last thing I expected Legolas to say was that you rejected him completely. I watched his soul get crushed right in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

I felt tears well in my eyes, and I was glad she could not see my face from her position. I knew that letter would hurt him, but I guess I hoped that a part of him would question it, perhaps reject the notion that I was capable of such a thing. It hurt to know that he took it as truth without second guessing it, and I wondered if somewhere deep down Legolas feared this day would come to light.

“Did Legolas tell you about his letter to me?” I asked when I found my voice again after swallowing the tears that threatened to fall.

“No,” she said. “If you are going to try and tell me that this was Legolas’ fault–”

“It wasn’t like that. Not in the least.” I paused to catch my breath. These memories were difficult to think about at the moment. “The last time we were together, he left me a note to read after he was gone. He asked me to become his bond mate.”

“He proposed?” She seemed surprised by this. I didn’t think she knew. I nodded. “But he didn’t mention it.” She sat back and slumped away from me. “Now it makes sense,” she whispered more to herself than to me.

“What makes sense?” I asked.

“The king. He’s been rather harsh lately, more so than usual. His relationship with Legolas has been strained. They didn’t speak to each other for a couple weeks. Legolas must have told him.”

“But I didn’t give him an answer, not right away,” I told her. I didn’t want her to think that I had been a part of any falling out between father and son. “I wanted to take my time, to make sure I understood what it would mean for us, especially living in two different places.”

“But it goes much further than that. If you legally bind to Legolas, you could have claim over Mirkwood, and that is something Thranduil would never agree to,” she said.

“I don’t want anything of the sort, and I would be willing to sign a document stating as such.”

“That’s not how the king would perceive it. He would see your binding as a threat, a take over from the Golden Realm. He must have had this argument with Legolas, and it forced them apart. And then your letter came. When Legolas read it, he must have gone to his father, and now Thranduil protects him because he fears that your rejection has escalated the–” She cut herself of quickly.

“What are you talking about?” This conversation was not making sense to me.

“You do not know?” she asked. I shook my head. “It is not for me to tell you then.”

“You’re not the first person to say that to me,” I mumbled. “Just tell me if Legolas is still in Mirkwood.”

“As far as I know he is, but my companions and I have been out here on patrol for two nights.”

“Do you know when Legolas is leaving for the crowning of the new king in Gondor?”

“I don’t know. That was one of the arguments Legolas had with his father. Thranduil doesn’t want him to go, but Legolas insists. He grew very close to those he traveled with during his journey … even to the dwarf. He goes to Gondor not only to represent Mirkwood, but to honor his friendships.”

“All the more reason why we must hurry. I need to see him before he leaves,” I said desperately.’’

>>\------->

We finally arrived, and entered the underground palace. It had been a long time since I’d been here, but it still looked familiar to me. I thought that I could navigate the hallways and tunnels, and still find my way around.

We passed the kitchen and I glanced inside, seeing the shelves across the room. I remembered them with fondness. Legolas and I started our friendship there. I could remember my urgency to leave Mirkwood after I delivered a message to the king, but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with a mischievous elf who tricked me into staying much longer than I wanted to. Those were good days when we were just discovering each other. I remembered how nervous he made me with his lustful stares and suggestive behavior. I had held him off as long as I could, but soon I found that I couldn’t be away from him. I couldn’t be away from him now, but I was worried he wouldn’t take me back. That letter that Raenor forced me to send might have destroyed it all, no matter what I tried to do to make things right again.

Corweth brought me to the grand hall, and we stood outside for a moment. She paced back and forth a few times. I thought she was trying to get her story straight in her head before facing her king and explaining why she went back on his orders to send me away.

“I’m just going to tell him what you told me. That there was foul play amidst, and that you wanted the chance to make amends,” she told herself.

“I’ll take all the blame if that’s what we need to do to spare you any punishment,” I tried to reassure her. I didn’t think it was working. “Tell him I forced you to bring me.”

Corweth cocked her head and raised a brow. “You … forced me?”

“You’re right. He’ll never believe that. Why do you have to be so bullheaded,” I complained lightly.

“Whatever you do, don’t give in to the king. Make him hear your side of things. He won’t want to. He’ll try to deny you your right to speak. He’ll try and fluster you, throw you off your game, but you must keep your head,” she advised.

“I will,” I said, and thought about how many times I’d done the same thing with Legolas. They were very much alike, Thranduil and his son. All I had to remember was that my main goal was to speak with Legolas. Thranduil was just a boulder put in my path. It would be difficult to move, but not impossible. There was always a way.

I took a deep breath and gave Corweth a nod. She nodded in return and pushed open the thick double doors, marching into the King’s Hall. I heard him before I saw him.

“Ah, Corweth, finally you have returned,” Thranduil called from his throne perched high on his dais across the stone bridge. I had always admired this large cavernous room with its tall pillars carved from deep beneath the earth. I had kissed Legolas on that bridge once, in front of all his friends and acquaintances.

“I have, my lord,” Corweth said and bowed just inside the door.

“Well, come in. Tell me what news you bring from the Rhovanion,” Thranduil greeted her.

“I have brought someone with me,” she said in warning.

Thranduil moved to the edge of his throne and glared across the bridge. “I thought I told you to be rid of him.” His words were spoken in anger.

“I tried, my lord, but–”

“I’m afraid I insisted that I come here, and I think you know why,” I said, stepping inside the doorway, coming to stand next to Corweth. “She tried everything short of dragging my corpse back to the border.”

“Then she did not try hard enough,” Thranduil complained.

“Please don’t blame Corweth. Even if she had taken me back across the border, I would have found my way here eventually. I was determined to come.”

“You’re not welcome here,” Thranduil seethed slowly, each word pronounced thick like honey. “Guards!” he called out, and I saw two very tall muscular elves dressed in full Mirkwood guard uniforms come from each side of the dais and moved toward the bridge.

“Wait!” Corweth called. “My king, you know I do not take your orders lightly, and I’ve never gone against any of your commands. However, I would ask that, just this once, please hear him out. Let him speak with you first before you cast him from your sight, and then make your determination.”

It felt like an age as Thranduil glared at me from a distance. I could tell that he didn’t want to do this, and if it wasn’t for Legolas’ involvement, I would have been picked up and carried out by those two large guards by now. But the king loved his son, and sometimes that meant doing what he didn’t care to do. Finally, Thranduil nodded to each guard, and they disappeared into the alcoves at each side of the dais. Then, he raised his chin and stared down his nose at me. “Come,” was his only command.

I glanced at Corweth and she nodded. Then I made the long walk across the bridge. It felt as though I was going to my death, but I reminded myself that I was another step closer to seeing Legolas, and explaining my situation. I couldn’t really blame Thranduil for hating me at the moment. He was trying to protect his son, to spare his heart any more damage. He didn’t understand that I was here to mend Legolas’ heart as well as mine.

I was finally at the edge of the dais. Thranduil stood in the center, his long green robes draped over his shoulders, cascading over his tall body where they ended at the floor. The golden edge embroidery glimmered in the candlelight, and his crown flashed with red and green jewels. His thick dark brows angled inward making him look angry and intimidating. I could tell he didn’t want me here, and it was probably futile to think he would give consideration to anything I had to say.

“You’ve caused enough damage,” Thranduil started.

“I know, but there is an explanation for my–”

“I don’t want explanations. I want to know why. Why did you hurt him like that?”

I was shocked by the king’s tender tone. He genuinely wanted to know. I could see Thranduil hurt too, and it scared me. What kind of shape was Legolas in? “I didn’t want to hurt him. I love him more than anything. He is my life source and I don’t think I can go on without him,” I confessed.

“He told me he asked you to be his bond mate, and that you turned him down,” Thranduil explained. “I thought at first that you were wise enough to know that could never happen, and you let him down easily. And then he showed me your letter. Such a cruel thing to do to someone so close to . . .” He paused to reword his sentence. “. . . to someone who hears the distant shores.”

I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly, and I took a couple steps sideways. “He has what?” I asked with disbelief.

“You heard me. My son … he is … he is not long for this world. He has heard the calling.” Thranduil said with such sorrow.

“But when? How?” I couldn’t wrap my head around this. Legolas had the sea longing? But he was still so young, and he loved Middle-earth. He loved Mirkwood. I couldn’t imagine him suddenly wanting to sail to Valinor. “What brought this on?”

“He said he didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to worry about him. Instead, he thought that by having you as his bond mate, it would help tie him to the earth, and ease his longing. And then that letter came. He was ready to leave that day. Said he would travel to Mithlond and take up residence at the Grey Havens until a ship was available. I stopped him from doing that. I convinced him to stay here. That I still needed my son in my life because I have no desire to sail. Legolas needed to know that someone still depended on him, and that was me. But he is still fighting the song. I see him every once in a while, staring into the west. He hears them calling and he cannot turn away.” Thranduil came to his full height and flung his cape from his shoulders, tossing it onto his throne where it draped across the arms of the chair. He came toward me and glared at me from his towering position on the dais. “I am his anchor now. You will only drive him away from me, away from this land. I want you gone from this place, and never come back here again. As for Lothlórien, if we have any dealings with your kingdom, it will be handled by someone else, not you. You are no longer welcome in Mirkwood. If you care about Legolas, you will stay far away from him, and leave him alone like you told him in your letter.”

The letter. I’d almost forgot. The news of Legolas’ sea longing was such a shock. Thranduil walked away, going to his private meeting chamber, the door which was at the back of the dais. I couldn’t let him leave yet. He still needed to hear me out. “I wrote that letter. That is the truth, but I did not mean a single word put on parchment.”

Thranduil stopped and looked over his shoulder, not wanting to give me his full attention again. “Do you take me for a fool?”

“No. Rather, I was the fool. I was … I was found out by one of the March wardens. He blackmailed me, said he would ruin me and my brothers if I didn’t do as he said. You see, he found Legolas’ proposal. It was my own fault. I should have burned it like all the rest, but that one was special to me. He proclaimed his undying love for me in that note. It just didn’t feel right to set it to flame and watch his promise burn. I’ll admit, I took longer than I should have to answer him, and perhaps that’s part of the reason why he hates me. When I didn’t come back right away with my answer, he must have thought I would decline his proposal. By the time I had made my mind up, it was too late. And I tried. I tried to get word to Legolas that would arrive before that horrid letter, but as I said, it was too late. Now, I am here to set things straight, to tell Legolas that I meant none of those things, and that I’ll love him for the rest of my days. You see, your son is already a part of my soul, and he owns my heart. Whether we bind or not, it doesn’t matter. There will never be another for me. So I came here to speak with him, not to hurt him, but to tell him what I should have told him a long time ago. I don’t want Legolas to sail either, Thranduil. Perhaps if I can fix this and let him know how much he means to me, I can be his anchor too. Together, maybe we can both be that to him. Will you let me speak to him? Please?” I begged. I laid it all out for the king to see.

Thranduil thought about my question, considering my offer carefully. He was stern and intimidating, but I thought that as a father, he would not deny his son the truth. “I cannot do that,” he finally said.

I was done pleading with this stubborn elf. “I thought you said you loved your son, and that you wanted to see him happy. If you will not let me explain the reason for that letter, he will continue to fade away, and the Grey Havens will be inevitable. You will lose your son. Even if Legolas wants nothing to do with me ever again, at least let him know the truth.”

“You cannot speak with him because he is not here,” Thranduil finished explaining. “He has already left to attend the coronation in Gondor.”

“He’s gone already? But I thought there were still a couple days before he had to leave.” I couldn’t believe he’d left this soon, but then again, he might not have wanted to be confined to his father’s halls in his state. “When did he leave?” If he left yesterday or this morning, I could probably catch up to him.

“He left two days ago. He said he was meeting with his dwarf friend, and they were taking the scenic route to Gondor, keeping promises or some fool thing like that.”

My heart was shattering. I came all this way to talk to Legolas, argued with his father, who could have thrown me in the cells at any time, and spilled my deepest feelings out for all to see, just to be told that he was not here. Not only that, but he’d been gone for a couple days already. I could not catch up to him. I was already taking a risk by coming to Mirkwood. If Raenor found out he would go straight to Lord Celeborn. Following Legolas to Gondor wasn’t even an option at this point. I had to leave now so that I could get back to Lothlórien before I was found out. There was nothing I could do except one thing.

“Can you tell him what I told you today?” I said, defeated. Thranduil didn’t deny me so I went on. “Tell him the truth, and tell him that I love him. Tell him, I’m sorry.”

Thranduil gave a subtle nod and I left. I crossed the stone bridge, stopping in the exact spot where Legolas kissed me. I looked around at the great hall, and knew I would probably never step foot here again. I exited the double doors, and found Corweth waiting for me. She didn’t say anything. She could see by the look on my face that I wasn’t successful.

“What happened?” she asked.

“He’s gone already,” I said.

“He left for Gondor so soon?” She seemed surprised.

“Thranduil said he went with the dwarf, Gimli. They are journeying together to Gondor. He told me how they became friends and promised to show each other places that were special to them.” I looked at her deep in the eyes. “You knew about the sea longing, didn’t you?”

She nodded. “It wasn’t my place to say anything. Legolas didn’t want anyone to know except for a few of his closest friends.”

“Do you how it happened? Or when it first took affect?” I wondered.

“Legolas didn’t go into much detail about it. I think talking about it made it seem too real. He was trying his best to let it subside until he could tell you,” she said sadly, knowing we might not see each other again. “What will you do now?”

“I have to go home. I have to leave now before someone becomes suspicious. And then I guess I will go back to business as usual in Lothlórien.”

Corweth took my hand in hers, something she had never done before. She was not one for expressing herself. “You promised that when you came back to Mirkwood, you would visit my sister’s resting place. Will you go with me now, before you leave?”

I hadn’t thought about that, but I did indeed make Corweth that promise. “I would very much like to see her, yes,” I forced a smile.

>>\------->

Meanwhile, in the throne room . . .

 

Thranduil waited until he was certain that Rúmil was gone before he entered his private meeting chamber. He knocked three times, and a guard opened the door from within. Sitting in a chair, kept under the watchful eye of Thranduil’s three most trusted guards was Legolas, scowling at his father.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Thranduil complained.

“He came, Ada. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Can you not see how much he cares about me?” Legolas pleaded.

“It is for your own good that you do not see him again.”

“But you heard him,” Legolas said in a raised voice. “He didn’t write that letter. I told you I questioned it in the first place, but you convinced me that Rúmil had finally bent to the laws of his home.”

“You were not much more than a corpse for weeks after that letter came,” Thranduil argued. “You said you would leave. I was the one who told you to stay. I’ve been the one who’s helped you keep the longing at bay.”

“You never gave Rúmil a chance. As soon as I told you about my proposal, you shut me down,” Legolas argued.

“You don’t understand the complication your binding would cause. You are the prince, for Eru’s sake. If something should happen to me, you would be king. To bind yourself to an elf of Lothlórien would mean that kingdom would have say over Mirkwood.”

Legolas stood from his chair, and the guards closed in on him. He scowled at them. “You can call off your dogs, Father. I’ll not try anything foolish.”

Thranduil watched his son a moment and then he nodded to the guards, who stepped away. “Leave us,” he commanded, and they left the room.

Legolas waited until they were alone before he picked up his argument. “I don’t see how you come up with that idea about Lothlórien. Rúmil is not royalty. He has no blood ties to the Lord and Lady. It is just me and him. The kingdoms are not a part of that, at least not Lothlórien.” Legolas’ eyes turned to slits. “Unless it is just your prejudice against Lothlórien. Is that it?”

“There are too many complications,” Thranduil answered. “For one, Rúmil’s standing within the army. You know of their laws. And now his secret is out. How did you think you could still go through with this? How did you think you could live as a married couple while he is still March warden? And now you’ve been touched by the longing. Remember what your heart felt like moments ago when you thought Rúmil had meant the things he wrote in that letter. I watched you break. I saw you slipping away.” Thranduil went to his son and clasped a hand to his shoulder. His eyes softened as he spoke. “I saw my son fading away, and it made my own heart hurt.” Thranduil lowered his eyes and turned from his son. “When your mother died, I felt what you feel now. It is a loneliness that is indescribable. It eats away at your soul, the very thing that makes you who you are. And without something to hold you to this land, you will surely fade to nothingness. You were the one thing that held me here. My little leaf, my tiny son. It amazed me how something so small was able to help me heal. I grieved the loss of your mother for a long time, but I no longer felt the pull of death. And that time you were injured … when you died … twice . . .” Thranduil paused and slowly shook his head. “I felt the pull again, and realized that you were my anchor all along. Now I am yours. Do you see now why I fear what will happen without you here?”

Legolas suddenly felt the guilt of not considering his father’s feelings. This must be what Rúmil felt about his brothers, wanting to keep them safe, keep them apart from his affairs. Family was most important, and should always be considered first. “I’m sorry, Ada. I don’t want to cause you any grief, but I want to live my own life.”

“And I agree, but maybe now is not the right time. You need to adjust to your newfound affliction. It could be years, centuries before the pull is so demanding that you cannot ignore it anymore. Maybe by then, Rúmil will be ready to sail too, and in Valinor you can finally be together. But there are too many complications here, too many ways for disappointment to creep in and speed up the process. And I am not ready to lose you yet, my son.”

“I understand what you are saying. I don’t want to lose you either. But Ada, I don’t want to lose Rúmil. The emptiness he said he felt, I feel it too. It is true what they say about two souls perfectly balanced for each other. We are already bound. We need no ceremony to unite us. It has already been done. I know that now. I knew it the moment I read that letter. I felt the extreme loss of his connection. And hearing him just now, telling you that he was forced to write it, and that he still loves me and needs me, I feel my soul mending. I’ll not sail from these shores until he is ready. He is my stability, my mainstay. His love is the security I need to know the longing will remain dormant.”

Thranduil seemed to give in. Nothing he could do or say would keep Legolas away from the one he loved, and to try would only make his need stronger. “How will you do this?”

Legolas shook his head. “I don’t know, but I am willing to do anything it takes, and the first step is letting him know that I have not abandoned him.” Legolas hugged his father and whispered in his ear. “I will not leave you, Ada. I will remain in Mirkwood if it means your happiness. You have suffered so much loss already. I will not add to it. But please. Please, let me go to him. I cannot stand the thought of him going home, and not knowing my true feelings.”

Thranduil held his son as he hadn’t since he was just an elfling. He had tried to keep Legolas and Rúmil apart, but he now knew it was impossible. To keep them separated would cause more harm than good. “I’ve been selfish. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been a loving father who cares as much for his son as he does for his kingdom,” Legolas said.

Thranduil released Legolas and looked into his eyes. “More than for his kingdom, for without you, this place has no meaning to me.” He smiled and kissed each of Legolas’ cheeks before returning to his stern deportment. “You should hurry before he gets too far.”

“Thank you, Ada,” Legolas said with a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too, son.” Thranduil watched Legolas dash from the room. The guards were outside of the door and they started to go after him as he ran across the stone bridge. “Let him go,” Thranduil commanded his guards. They stopped and turned to their king. “It is all right. I’ve given him permission.” He watched Legolas finish crossing the bridge and disappear through the double doors of the great hall. He knew he had done the right thing, but it felt as though he might never see Legolas again. It was just a feeling. He knew his son would not disappear forever, but now Thranduil feared for his own longing. His son was always the thing that grounded him. He never thought the day would come when he’d have to worry what would happen without the boy. Thranduil used to imagine Legolas falling in love with an elleth, binding to her, giving the kingdom tine princes and princesses that would insure the future of the royal bloodline. That would never happen, and when Legolas sailed, Thranduil would have no choice but to go too. This was the reason he let his son go. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps Rúmil was his anchor now, and in turn it would mean Thranduil’s continued rule over Mirkwood, for he loved his kingdom and his people. Thranduil would hope he made the right decision, and only time would tell.


	26. Chapter 26

Legolas ran from the palace and exited the main doorway. He stopped and observed the area. Elves went here and there, but none were Rúmil. He couldn’t have gotten that far, he said to himself. Legolas had been with his father for a little while, but surely Rúmil hadn’t left that quickly. He dashed back inside, thinking that Rúmil might still be in the palace. He always did have a difficult time finding his way about. Maybe he got lost and that slowed him down. Starting to head for the caverns, Legolas bumped into Corweth. He grabbed her and picked her up off her feet, spinning her around. A few young elleth nearby watched and giggled at their prince.

“Why are you here? Your father said you left days ago.” Corweth questioned.

“You brought Rúmil here. Is he still about?” Legolas hurried to say, ignoring her question. He was out of breath from running.

“I took him to the graveyard to see Messel’s resting place, but he didn’t stay long. He’s already left,” she told him. “Legolas, what’s is going on? Your father told me that you–”

“No time to explain. I must find Rúmil and talk to him. If he just left, I can catch him up.” Legolas started to go but Corweth stopped him. 

“He left by horse, and he left in a hurry. You’ll never catch him on foot.”

“I have to try. I can’t let him go without him knowing,” Legolas said, and he looked around trying to find a better option. Nothing was coming to him at the moment.

“Know what?” Corweth asked.

“That I know the truth about the letter.”

“So you know those weren’t his words?” she asked. She was very confused by everything.

“I do. I heard his whole confession.”

“But … how? What is going on?” Corweth demanded. She hated not being informed.

Legolas shook his head and grasped her shoulders. “I was a fool, Corweth. A fool and a coward. When I read the letter, I was devastated.”

“I know,” she said. “I was there.”

“But there was a piece of me that knew Rúmil couldn’t do something like that. And then I spoke with my father, and he convinced me it was true. He smothered my doubt and fanned my pain and sorrow. He warned me that Rúmil was coming here. He filled my head with the fear of what would happen when Rúmil shattered any hope I might still have had. He spoke of the sea longing, and his own fear of losing me should I chose to sail. He persuaded me stay away, and that he would deal with Rúmil to save me any further hurt and pain.”

“And that’s why your father told us you had left for Gondor,” Corweth said as it all started to make sense.

“I resigned to my rooms and grieved. I grieved for losing Rúmil. I yielded to the sea longing. But neither of those even came close to the emptiness I felt in my heart, and the huge void of my soul. That was a loss of epic proportions, and I thought that I would rather see Rúmil once more and hear it from his own mouth that he no longer loved me. I went against my father’s wishes and went to his throne room where I would confront Rúmil in person. But again, I allowed Ada to sway me to his way of thinking. He told me to stay behind the closed door, and he would deal with Rúmil. So that’s what I did. And then, I heard Rúmil talking with my father, and his confession that he had been blackmailed into writing the letter.”

“If you heard him speak the truth, then why didn’t you go to him?” Corweth asked.

Legolas bowed his head. “My father took precautions and put guards on me so that I couldn’t leave the room.”

“Your father has gone too far this time,” Corweth seethed. “Too long has Thranduil held you back.”

“I don’t blame my father,” Legolas sympathized. “Actually, I understand his reasoning. He’s not just afraid to lose me. He’s afraid to be alone. I know that feeling all too well now.”

Corweth watched Legolas a moment. She could see the desperation in his countenance. He needed to be prepared for the worst. “Rúmil was beside himself with grief. He thinks you want nothing more to do with him. He fears it’s too late, even to explain that note. Your father did a fairly good job at convincing him that it is over. That emptiness you spoke of, Rúmil said he’d felt the same thing. He felt if even before speaking with Thranduil. I think he knew the moment you’d given up on him.”

“This is why I need to find him. I can’t let him return home without knowing that I still care. He needs to know that I still want him, and that I still love him,” Legolas said desperately.

“You’re sure about him?” Corweth asked in a serious manner. “He’s made things difficult on you. On both of you. Married to the army, that one. Constantly putting his soldiering career before his feelings. What if he actually breaks your heart? What if next time, that letter is not a fake?”

“Then that is a chance I’m willing to take, but he won’t do that to us. I know this for a fact because I feel him in here,” he said, pounding his fist on his chest. “And from what you’ve told me, he feels it too. He is the one, Corweth, and I am his. Nothing will break that.”

She didn’t seem totally convinced, but Legolas would stop at nothing to find Rúmil. “I don’t know how you’ll catch him. He flew out of here on a horse, saying he needed to get home before he was missed. He had his brother’s horse, one of the fastest in Lothlórien,” she said.

“Shit, he could be half way through the Rhovanion by now. Where did he enter the woods? Was it near Arstad?” Legolas asked.

“Yes. He came in on the Old Forest Road,” Corweth informed. “And the way he was pushing his horse, I’m sure he will need to stop there and let her rest, but he probably won’t stay the night. He is desperate to return to Caras Galadhon.”

“The town might be my only chance to stop him. I need to send word there,” Legolas said, coming up with a plan.

“Well, it won’t get there fast enough. Elves might be quick, but we can’t fly,” she jested again.

Legolas’ eyes went big and he smiled. “That’s it!” he yelled, and he grabbed Corweth’s face and kissed her on the lips. She was caught off guard for only a moment, but pushed him away and slapped him across the face.

“How dare you–”

“Yes I know. You can bitch at me later. Now tell me, where is Tethor at the moment?” he said, ignoring her complaint.

“What do you want with him?”

“I need one of his birds to send a message to Arstad.”

“I told you he won’t be there long. A message won’t do you any good,” she said, confused.

“He’ll have no choice if I order the guards to detain him.” Legolas looked quite proud of his plan. Corweth told him where he could find Tethor, and Legolas ran off in a hurry.

>>\------->

Thranduil was right. I was a fool to ever think any of this would work. What in Mordor was I thinking? How on earth could Legolas and I be bound? I wanted to believe that we could make it work. He has ever been willing to try. But his royal standing and my position as March warden wouldn’t allow us to have a normal relationship. And what if we still went through with it? One day Legolas could be king, and I, being his spouse, would have a certain amount of power. That meant if something happened to Legolas and he could not rule, I would be second in line, an elf of Lothlórien. No wonder Thranduil worried. The last thing he wanted was a Lórien elf to have control over his precious kingdom. I saw now how it could pose a problem. I didn’t care about any of that when I thought of being with Legolas forever, bound in heart and soul.

We were already partially bound, just because of our deep affection for one another. I still wondered if I would fade without him in my life. I thought it might be possible. After all, Legolas seemed to move on already, off on an adventure with his dwarf friend before attending the coronation in Gondor. Was he hurting as I was? I felt empty already, and I could tell it was not going to be easy to avoid. Not even my successful career could fill the void. I didn’t think I would ever take another lover. There was no hope of ever shedding the feeling of loss, but could I live the rest of my days in Middle-earth this way? Perhaps I would talk to Haldir about it when I got home.

Home. So far from home, and yet it would not be welcoming when I returned. At least I had my brothers. They would certainly see me through this coming grief. They were all I had now.

I exited the woods where the Old Forest Road ended and turned to a typical dirt road. Haldir’s horse had done well as she moved swiftly through the trees, but she was more tired than usual. It was a difficult trip for her because she was always on alert in that dark place. She needed rest, but I couldn’t stop for too long. I needed to get back to Caras Galadhon before I was missed. Even though Haldir helped me set up a plan to cover my sudden disappearance, I wanted to return in a timely manner so that suspicions would not be raised. Raenor still held me over a cliff. One false move and he’d drop me right at the feet of the Lord and Lady, and my life would be ruined. I wondered what other demands he would have for me. Perhaps he would force me to step down as March warden so that he could rule, or have his brother assigned. He held a severe grudge against me and my family for what my father did to his. Well, now he was having his revenge, and I was the one in which he placed all his hatred. Maybe it was what I deserved. After all, I was not completely innocent in all of this. I had broken the law of the army by taking a male lover. I had hid from it all my life. That secret had fallen into the wrong hands. I should have known it would happen eventually. I guess I did know that. I was just waiting to see when I would finally be exposed.

I rode into the town, and made my way to the stables where I would let my horse eat, drink and rest. I could spare an hour or two, but not much more than that. She was a hearty breed, and she would be ready to go by then.

The stable boy watched me as I came inside, leading my horse to one of the empty stalls. His eyes were as wide as a frightened doe, and I wondered what was wrong. Surely he’d seen elves before. My kind were no strangers to Arstad. Even the elven king of Mirkwood had dealings with this town. I smiled at the boy and handed him a coin for the stall and the food. He was hesitant, but took my offering and scurried off like he’d seen a ghost. Was it me? I raised my tunic to my nose and sniffed but nothing rancid offended me. Silly boy, I thought and went back to tending to my horse.

When I was finished, I thought I would head to the tavern and get something to eat. I wasn’t all that hungry, but I knew my body needed nourishment. A bowl of hot stew and a pint of ale, and I would be ready to get back on the road. As I crossed the yard from the stable to the tavern, I noticed two rather large men crossing toward me. They looked like guards, and from the sour expressions on their faces, they had been summoned to make an arrest. I pitied the person they were after, but he probably brought it on himself. Whoever he was, if he’d just not broken any of their laws, maybe he wouldn’t be in this troub–

I was grabbed up by these men, who I thought were only passing by. “What is the meaning of this? Release me at once!” I yelled.

“What is your name, elf?” one of the men asked. He had brown curly hair and was missing one of his front teeth. His arms were as large as a tree, and his grip was strong on my wrist.

“I am Rúmil, March warden of the Northern Guard of Loth–”

“This is him,” the second man said, and I noticed the resemblance between them. They were brothers, no doubt.

The smaller of them, and he wasn’t smaller by much, unrolled a parchment, looked me up and down once more and read. “You are hereby detained in the town of Arstad until further notice.”

“Detained? For what?”

“Says here you are wanted for questioning,” said the man with the scroll. “I don’t know nothing else. You’ll have to wait until you’re sent for.”

“Sent for? By whom?” I asked.

“Doesn’t say. The mayor and his counsel most likely,” he answered and rolled the paper back up, sticking it inside his leather vest.

“This is ridiculous,” I argued. “I am merely passing through, and stopped to rest my horse. I’m not even staying long. I paid the stable boy for the stall. There is no reason to incarcerate me. I demand that I be released immediately.” I struggled against the grip on my wrist, but I was taken control of by both men and led to the mayor’s building, which was further down the cobblestone street. Arstad wasn’t very big, there was only one road, and two story buildings lined each side. Businesses were on the bottom floors, and homes were on the top. Further down the road were nicer houses where the well-off residents lived, I supposed. The mayor’s office building divided the two sections of town.

They guided me inside the mayor’s office and shoved me onto a wing-backed chair. I looked around the room, finding a sister chair to the one I sat in, and a fireplace. There was a desk and book shelves filled with books. The desk had stacks of parchments and a candelabra with candles that were almost used up. Wax had dripped onto the desk, hardened white disks splattered all around. The room was dark now, the curtain on the one window drawn to keep out the afternoon sun.

“Where is the mayor?” I asked.

“Stay here, and don’t try anything funny,” said the smaller man. “We won’t be far.” They went back to the front door and exited, but I saw their bulky silhouettes through the side windows on either side of the wood door.

There was another door behind the desk in the room. I kept my eye on the men’s shadows, and slowly stood to make my way to the back of the room. I tried the door, but it was locked. My only other means of escape was the window, but unfortunately, it was on the same side as the front door. They would see me climbing out. I paced back and forth, wracking my brain, trying to remember if something had happened last time I was here, but there was nothing. Could it be that Raenor discovered my plan and had me detained until he showed to drag me home? I guess that was a possibility, but it seemed like a long way to go. He would wait for me to return and then make a mockery out of me. So what was this all about? It couldn’t be Thranduil. He wanted me as far from Mirkwood as possible. Mistaken identity? No, they recognized my name. Who, in the name of Mordor, had me arrested?

A couple hours must have passed before someone came to tell me what was going on. I saw a hooded figure approach the guards and send them away. The doorknob turned and I stood from my chair, ready to give the mayor, or whoever this was, a piece of my mind. The door slowly opened and someone entered. I couldn’t see who it was. He or she was covered by an old ragged brown cloak. Whoever they were, they were tall.

“Finally! Do you know how long I have been waiting here? No one has come to tell me anything about this. All I know is that I’ve been detained for some unknown reason. Never in all my long years has anyone ever treated me in such a rude manner. I should at least know what I’m being held for. I want an explanation right now or I’m going to–” I was so busy complaining that I hadn’t paid much attention to the person in the room until the hood of the brown cloak lowered to reveal . . .

“Legolas?” I said with disbelief. I closed my eyes and opened them, thinking that I’d been seeing things. He was still there.

“Hello Rúmil,” he said in the softest voice possible. He looked like he wanted to smile, but he was staying cautious.

“What … what are you doing here? Your father said you left for Gondor days ago. Why are you in Arstad?”

Legolas shook his head and took a step towards me, but stopped when I stepped back. I didn’t even know I’d done it until he hesitated. “I didn’t get as far as you’d think I would.”

There were so many questions running through my mind, I couldn’t keep my thoughts together, but one thing rose above them all. I had Legolas in front of me, and I could finally tell him why I came. “I went to Mirkwood to talk to you. You must loath me by now, but you need to know that I didn’t write that letter. Actually, no, I did write it, but I didn’t mean a word of it. I’ve been found out, Legolas. Raenor … he knows about us, and he blackmailed me into writing that letter. I had no choice. I was only trying to protect my family. And I tried so hard to get word to you and intercept that cursed letter, but Raenor beat me to it. There was nothing I could do, nothing but to put everything on the line and come to you in person. You weren’t there, though, and I thought hope was gone. But here you are, and even though I find it strange that by some coincidence you are here, I’ve never been so elated in all my life.”

As I finished talking, he rushed across the room and took me into his arms. He buried his face in my neck and held me so tight I thought I’d stop breathing. “By the gods, Rúmil, I’ve never been so happy to see you either.”

I didn’t hug him back at first. I was thrown off guard by his actions. I thought for sure I would have to beg and plead for him to hear me out. It didn’t take me long to accept him, and I relaxed in his arms. It felt so good to be like this again. I wished that we never had to break this contact. The parts of me that felt empty were instantly filled with warmth and love. He was still mine, and I his. Still . . .

“I thought you’d want nothing to do with me. I spoke to your father, and he made it sound like you–”

“I know. That’s just my father being overprotective again, but he doesn’t understand what we share,” Legolas said, his warm breath caressing my neck.

He knew? “How could you know if you were already gone?” I asked with suspicion.

“I never left Mirkwood,” he confessed.

I pushed him away from me so I could confront him face to face. “You mean … you were there the whole time? Did you know I was there?”

Legolas answered me with a nod.

“Then, why didn’t you come to me? Why did you let me speak with your father instead of you? Did he forbid it?”

Legolas shook his head this time. “I chose it. I got word that you were on your way there, and I … I just couldn’t face you. I was afraid of what else you had to tell me, but I was there. I was in my father’s office.” 

“You were there?” I knitted my brows in confusion. “Why didn’t you intervene? Why did you let me go on begging your father when it was you that I needed to speak with?”

“At first I didn’t think I could face you, but as soon as I heard your voice, I wanted to go to you. Knowing you were on the other side of the door was killing me. But my father … he knew I might change my mind. You know how he’s always disagreed with our relationship. He had his guards sent to his office to keep an eye on me, and keep me from going to you. He said it was for my sake that he did it. He feared for me … for what might happen to me now that I’ve–”

“The sea longing,” I said, remembering what Thranduil told me. Haldir and Corweth tried to tell me too, but they stopped short of their information and said it wasn’t up to them to say anything. I realized how many knew about this before me, and wondered how long Legolas kept it from me. “When? When did you know?”

“Galadriel warned me of my exposure before I left Lothlórien with my fellowship. She told me to be wary of the sea, but she spoke in riddles. I guess I didn’t listen hard enough. I didn’t remember her warning until it was too late.”

Haldir had asked me if Legolas told me about his time on the Corsair’s ships. I just thought something happened to him, or that he’d seen something that was difficult to discuss … like his time in the mines of Moria when he saw the Balrog. Now it all made sense to me. He had sailed with his companions on the Anduin in an attempt to get to Gondor before it was too late. The river is tied to the sea, and I presume it’s close enough that the sounds or smells of the ocean could trigger the longing. In an instant, I felt a clammy coldness spread across my skin. My mother had heard the longing, and she wasn’t long for this world afterwards. She sailed, leaving my father and my brothers alone. I was so young that I don’t remember her. Now, here was Legolas telling me he’d heard the call, and it just now started to register what that meant.

“Will you leave now? Will you go to Gondor and then take a ship?” I feared to ask him this, but I needed to know what was in my future, or what wasn’t in it.

“My dear Rúmil, I won’t leave, I couldn’t leave unless I knew you were ready too. I … I stay for you.” He took my face in his hands, and I couldn’t resist him any longer. I allowed him to kiss me, and suddenly everything was right in the world again. My troubles at home, my concerns about Legolas … it all faded away, and it was just me and my lover, our souls redefining each other, connecting on another level.

Legolas broke away after a long, soft, slow kiss and came to gaze longingly into my eyes. “Stay with me for a while. I need you.”

I wanted that too, but then my latest concern tapped on my brain and reminded me of why I was here in the first place. “I can’t. I … I’m not sure what’s happening, but it seems that I’ve been detained by . . .” As I tried to explain, Legolas crossed his arms and downcast his eyes so that the guilt on his face became very prominent. The last piece of the puzzled slipped into place. “It was you, wasn’t it? You did this. You told the guards to keep me here.”

“You had quite a head start with your swift horse. I had to find a way to make you wait until I could catch you up. I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“And the mayor?” I said as I cocked a brow and narrowed my eyes.

“He’s out of town, gone to Bree for a funeral, his great aunt I believe.”

“And the guards?” I said asking my last question.

“They’re not really guards. They are hunters. I saved their hounds from being eaten by a giant spider when they wandered too far into the forest and became trapped in a web. They owed me a favor.” He shrugged and smiled innocently, all part of his game, I was sure.

“You always have an answer, don’t you?”

“I don’t have your answer,” he said, his innocence turning into lust. “Will you stay, if but for a little while?”

“It’s been a difficult time lately. We have been caught in a storm, tossed about, separated, and deceived. I want nothing more than to reacquaint myself with you, to get lost in you and forget the outside world, but I’m afraid that’s too dangerous of a thing for me to do at this point.” I took his wrists and pulled him toward me. His hands clenched at my tunic, and our bodies pressed together. I could feel his need, and I’m sure he felt mine too. “If Raenor begins to suspect foul play–”

“I’ve thought about that too,” he interrupted with a sly grin. “My father mentioned a shipment from Lothlórien, something about old manuscripts?”

“Yes, that was my cover. Haldir helped me arrange it so that I personally delivered them to the king. The only thing is, I left much sooner than the package. Haldir made excuses and hid the fact that I left early, but I’ll be expected to return soon. That’s why I can’t stay much longer. I have to be on my way or I’ll be gone too long.”

“You’re really worried about this aren’t you?” he said.

I couldn’t believe he had to ask that. “You know my situation,” I stressed to him. “I’m not just hiding anymore. Raenor knows about us. He got a hold of your letter. He knows we have a very serious relationship. He has me tight in his grip, and he means to torture me and have me do his bidding.”

Legolas took a step back and gave a serious look as a heavy realization came to him. “How can you live that way? Why would you want to? Hasn’t the worst thing happened to you? Your secret is out. You should be searching for the next step, not cowering under the shadow of your nemesis. If you think it will end with him, you are wrong. His demands will never cease, and you’ll find no peace until you come clean of everything. Either that or Raenor mysteriously disappears.” The last part he whispered as he looked to the side. I thought he was already planning something.

I knew all of this. I knew the enormity of my dilemma. I hadn’t had a chance to figure a way out of it. I’d been too concerned about Legolas, and trying to set things straight between us to worry about Raenor or his blackmailing. I was beginning to see no way out of this. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Confess,” Legolas suggested.

I huffed cynically. “You know I cannot do that. I would have if it was only me that was affected, but–”

“Yes, your brothers. I know. I’m sorry. I’m just venting my frustrations.” He hugged me tighter.

It saddened me that he felt this way. He didn’t have to stay in this with me. There was nothing holding Legolas back. Sometimes I felt as though he picked the wrong person to pursue. There must have been elves in Mirkwood that would have suited him, and then there would be no trouble, no hiding, no restraints.

“Will you hear me out before you decide to go?” Legolas asked, pulling away to look at me.

“I will, but what are you thinking?” I thought he was going to suggest a plan that would alleviate some of the pressure put on me at home.

“I’m thinking that I need to feel your lips on mine. That I need the warmth of your body next to mine. Stay here with me just for one night, Rúmil. I’m not ready to let you go yet,” he pleaded.

“Iaun nín, you know that I can’t,” I said. I hated telling him no. He deserved so much more from me.

“Wait a moment before you refuse. I have an idea about that, and it involves the shipment.”

He had my attention. “Go on,” I said willingly.

“I’ll send a message to Lothlórien stating that the king wishes you to stay and help record the material so that he’s positive everything is there. He will not be satisfied until he has an account of each item,” he suggested enthusiastically.

I thought it was a good plan except for one minor detail. “That would work but for the fact that you have no such permission from your father, and for the fact that everyone thinks you are on your way to Gondor.”

“Here’s the thing. I … being the king’s son … have had years to study and practice my writing skills, but especially forging my father’s handwriting.” He smiled fiendishly. “And I still have access to the carrier falcon I used to get my message to Arstad.”

“The one that told the guards to detain me,” I said putting the pieces together.

“Let me work on it while you go to the tavern and obtain a room. It won’t take me long. The message will be on its way to Lothlórien, and you and I can forget all of this for a few more hours.”

I shouldn’t do it, I kept telling myself. I knew I should just leave and promise to see Legolas again as soon as he came back from Gondor. I had involved too many people in my scheme. I couldn’t keep asking them to make excuses for me just so that I could be with Legolas. But looking at him, his handsome chiseled face, his long hair, and those beautiful blue eyes that danced only for me, I couldn’t find the words to deny him this one request. I must have been insane to agree, and I was putting all my faith in the fact that he really could copy his father’s writing. I walked over to the desk in the room, searched a drawer for a piece of parchment, and made sure there was ink in its well. I laid everything out on the desk so that all Legolas had to do was sit down and start writing. Legolas came up behind me and nuzzled the back of my neck.

“I’ll be along soon,” he whispered with his hot breath. 

I turned and captured his lips. “I’ll be ready.”

>>\------->

The tavern owner must have misunderstood me. He gave me a room, but it had two single beds instead of one large one. I guess it was my fault for not specifying it. No matter. I would just push the beds together. I found out quickly that they were heavier than they looked. The beds made an awful noise as I wrestled with it. The people downstairs must be wondering what was happening up here. Hopefully they wouldn’t send someone to check.

Eventually I got the beds in place, and sat at a dressing table to begin taking the braids from my hair. I had ordered a bath too, thinking that it would be nice to bathe together. Legolas liked it when he could run his fingers through my hair with no obstructions. I had to admit, I liked it too, especially when he massaged my scalp as he washed my hair. It had been a long time since we could enjoy ourselves like this. I wish it could be like this every day, to have Legolas all to myself, without fear of . . .

“No, I am not going to think like that and kill the mood. I am only here for a short while … maybe until first light. Then, I must be on my way. Legolas will need to leave soon too, to Gondor. It would have been nice to go with him. I’ve never been to Minas Tirith before. So many things I wish we could do together, but … No, I already told myself I won’t do this.” Anyone who heard me talking would have thought I was mentally unstable. Lucky for me, I was alone.

“Alone, forever alone. How will you make this work? Once Legolas is back from the coronation, then what? How will we get along, especially living so far apart? More importantly, how could we ever have a relationship now that Raenor knew? He would be on my heels and looking over my shoulder for the rest of my days.” My subconscious was always trying to solve my external difficulties. It was nonstop trying to always stay a step ahead of everyone. Now I would have to stay ahead by ten in order to keep Raenor out of my personal life.

“I’m done trying to figure out a solution,” I said aloud. “Right now, I just want Legolas and I to have a nice romantic stress free moment alone.”

The door opened and Legolas came in, looking around the room. “Is someone here? I heard you talking.”

I jumped up from the table and ran to him. I didn’t hesitate, and pushed him against the closed door, assaulting his mouth. My pelvis pushed against his as I ground my hips. Legolas answered me by slipping his hands down my torso and grabbing my arse to pull me harder against him.

“I’ve drawn us a bath,” I said and he smiled against my neck.

“Good thinking. Come on. I can’t wait much longer.” He opened the door and pulled me along down the corridor.

The bathing room for the inn was at the end of the hall. Once inside, I noticed that there were several tubs of different sizes. Apparently, more than one person at a time could enjoy a hot soak, but Legolas and I wanted our privacy, and he wedged a chair to the door so no one else could enter.

I had paid the owner well, and asked for the best he had to offer. I was glad I did. The largest tub sat in the center of the room, a stack of towels on a table beside it, and steam rising from the water. There were a few small bottles lining the table, oils and soaps for the bath. There was also a wooden chair with two white robes neatly draped over the back. Everything was set up for us to have a relaxing soak. I wondered if the owner realized too late, after giving us the room with the double beds, that we were together not just friendly companions. It seemed he might have made up for it with all the extras here.

I finished observing the room and saw Legolas prowling towards me. His eyes were dark and wild, trained on me as though he meant to pounce on prey. I didn’t mind being his prey, and I would gladly do anything he wanted of me. I inched my finger to call him to me. He took the last couple steps and grabbed me by the waist. He pulled me to him roughly, and leaned in to kiss me, but stopped just before our lips touched. I moved to finish the distance, but he pulled away. A deviant smile curled his lips as he dodged more of my advances. I moved back and started to turn my head to the side, as if to give up, and he took my chin, turning me back. We came together, lips softly kissing at first, remembering what it was like to be together, and finding that we’d never really forgotten to begin with.

Legolas’ kisses set me to flame, and I felt the blood rushing to my lower region. I grew hard and pulsed with need. When I pushed myself against Legolas’ body, he moaned, his warm breath bathing my face. I reached for the buttons of his tunic and started undoing them. It felt like I couldn’t get my fingers to work right, as my hands were shaking just enough to make it difficult. I wanted to rip his clothes from his body, finding my patience thin.

“Let me,” Legolas smiled, as he took over where my fingers were having difficulty. He nodded in gesture to my clothing. “You too,” he said.

I undressed myself, which was much easier and quicker. While I did, I watched Legolas shed his clothes, tunic, undershirt, boots and leggings, until he was naked before me. His cock stood straight up, but then so did mine. We observed each other as though for the first time, becoming even more excited to know we could become so aroused with just a look. We came together, cock sliding against cock. Taking each other in our hands, we set a matching rhythm. We kissed and moaned as our excitement escalated.

“To the tub,” I whispered between heavy breaths.

“No, like this. I won’t last,” he replied, and his hand worked its magic on me.

I was close, but Legolas released first. He stopped his movements as he spent his seed between our bodies, but kept me within his hand. As soon as he came back to his senses, he finished me, and I released, throwing my head back as I did. I opened my eyes to see him watching me, and felt slightly aware of myself.

“You are beautiful in that form. I want to watch you every time,” he said, and he kissed me deep. He always knew what to say to make me feel less conscious of myself. It was the way of the Wood elves to see beauty in everything, even where others were uncomfortable.

When Legolas released me, I took his hand and led him across the bathing room to our awaiting tub. “You first,” I gestured.

He kissed me quickly and climbed in. I noticed that his cock still stood half at attention. It wouldn’t take much to ready him again, but I wanted to take a little more time now. We both needed that first release. So much pent up desire made for too quick of a release, and I wanted to enjoy a long love making session with him.

Legolas adjusted and leaned against one side of the tub. He smiled seductively, his eyes alight with desire for me. Gods, he was gorgeous. I could sit here and stare at him forever, but to know that he belonged to me was the best feeling in all eternity.

“Come on then, get in,” he said when I’d taken too long observing him.

I climbed in and sat opposite him so that we could stare into each other’s eyes from across the way. Our legs tangled together beneath the stimulating heat of the water. Legolas’ arms came out of the water and he stretched them on either side of the tub. I was reminded of our first time in the baths at Mirkwood. He had that same look in his eye then as he did now, watching me with intense concentration. The difference was, I would go to him willingly when before I resisted. I actually thought that I could do that, but I hadn’t known how my feelings would grow for him.

He sat up and moved forward, taking my legs and wrapping them around his waist. We held each other, face to face in the warm bath, just watching each other as though nothing else existed around us. I hadn’t known how much I needed this. Things had gone very wrong back home, and my nerves were frazzled. I wasn’t sure how I would be able to leave this place, knowing what waited for me back in Lothlórien.

Legolas kissed my neck, drawing flesh between his teeth and sucking. He was marking me. He often liked to do that. I remembered complaining the first time, thinking that everyone would know who I’d given my heart to. I wanted to shout it at the top of my lungs now, and let the bruise he was leaving be my proof.

I was becoming quite aroused again. I think Legolas knew this too, because he stopped what he was doing and pushed back. “Turn around. I want to wash your hair,” he said, and I obeyed. While I adjusted, he reached over the side of the tub to grab a bottle of scented soap and a wooden bowl from the table. I leaned back and he poured water from the bowl over my long blond hair. He hesitated as he poured a small amount of soap into his hand. Then he proceeded to wash my hair.

He used his fingertips, massaging my scalp as he worked the soap into a lather. I closed my eyes and gave into the luxurious feel of his touch. When he was finished with my head, he started to wash the rest of my long hair, occasionally brushing his hand along my back or up my spine. It felt wonderful, but the silence between us seemed unusual, and I felt as though he wanted to say something.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I don’t want to take away from our limited time together,” he answered.

I turned my head to the side, and spoke over my shoulder. “Tell me,” I whispered.

His hands slowed as he spoke. “I was … I was thinking about reading your letter the first time. My heart … it … it … oh, never mind. This is not a good time to–”

“Please, talk to me, iaun nín,” I encouraged. I thought it was important that we talked about this. We needed to discuss what had happened.

He reached for the bowl and I tilted backwards so he would rinse the soap from my hair. “I remember reading the words on the paper, but they made no sense to me, not at first. I stopped reading after the first couple lines and started at the beginning again, thinking that my eyes were playing tricks. Then I studied the script, and had no doubt that it was written in your hand. I forced myself to read it to the end, but with every word, a piece of me disappeared until I was numb. The only reason I knew I still existed was because Corweth was there calling out to me, asking me what was wrong. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. I was paralyzed by shock at first, but when the feeling came back to my body, I was angry. Next came despair and hopelessness. Eventually, I pulled myself together enough to join the living once again, but I was dead inside, or so I thought.”

“So you thought?” I asked. He had finished rinsing my hair and let the bowl float away from him. He was silent a moment, and I turned sideways so I could see him. He had a distant look on his face, as though the emptiness he spoke of had returned.

“It was the worst thing I’d ever experienced in my life, but … there was still something deep within me, somewhere in the furthest reaches of my soul that told me not to give up, to cast doubt on everything I thought to be true. Of course, my father repeatedly told me he knew this would happen, and that I never should have involved myself with an elf of Lórien. All he sees is politics. He cannot see the love we share. And so I shut down. I blocked out all of the emotions, distanced myself from my father and my friends. It was like hibernating. Still, that tiny light, that miniscule spark deep within remained.” He stopped now, and turned to look me in the eyes. His memories of despair that showed on his face disappeared and he smiled slightly. “It was like looking into the night sky and the endless darkness, but seeing only one star so faint it was only a flicker. I looked for it every time I felt myself slipping away, and I could always find it, though sometimes it took a while to locate. That was you. That was your soul still calling out to mine, and I knew … somehow I knew you weren’t committed to those words you wrote.”

“And now you know it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my decision. None of those things came from my heart,” I said. I smiled and moved back. “It’s your turn.” I picked up the bowl that floated to my side of the tub. Legolas turned his back to me, some of the water slushing out over the edge. I started wetting his hair, and reached for the soap, lathering him up and gently massaging his scalp as he’d done for me. His hair was so long, longer than mine by a few inches. It was the most beautiful color, lighter than mine, almost platinum, and so soft.

“Mmm, Rúmil, you’ll spoil me,” he moaned.

“Always,” I replied and started to rinse out the soap. He leaned back, his head resting on my shoulder, and looked up into my eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered with a smile.

“I love you too,” I said, and he sat forward once more. He started to turn towards me. “Wait, I’m not done yet. There’s still soap in your–” But he scooted down and disappeared under the water. Soap bubbles filled the surface of the water as they left his hair. He scrubbed his fingers, splashing the water everywhere. Some of the bubbles took flight and slowly drifted around the tub. When he came back up he looked like a mischievous water imp. Then he grabbed my legs and pulled me towards him until we met in the center of the tub. He nipped at my nose, my chin, my lips, teasing as he liked to do. I wrapped my legs around his waist, clamping him to me, and captured his mouth with mine. We kissed wantonly, desire and lust driving us, making our bodies react. He reached beneath the water and took my swollen cock in his hand. Then he took up both of our cocks and stroked them together.

“I want to be inside you,” he whispered with hot breath on the wet skin of my neck.

I grabbed each side of the tub and lifted my body. Legolas guided his cock to my entrance, and then I slid onto his lap. I was instantly filled, gloriously stretched, and sat still a moment to adjust to the suddenness of my movements. Legolas had little patience though, and thrust, making me gasp with surprise. He watched me a moment to see what I would do, and then thrust again and again. I pushed on him so that his back rested against his side of the tub and took control of our rhythm. My hands moved to the edge of the tub on each side of his head. It felt like floating above him, and I looked down onto his beautiful face. Our lips came together and I moved up and down his length. The soap made our bodies slide together easily, and the warm water was like a cocoon. This was our own little world, just me and my iaun nín.

Having Legolas inside me was magnificent. As I came down, he thrust up, going deep, and hitting me in that one special spot. We moved together this way a few more times, but then I stayed there, Legolas buried to the hilt. He knew what I wanted, and he didn’t hesitate as he began making quick thrusts deep inside me. I felt him take up my cock in his palm, sliding along my length in a matched rhythm. I closed my eyes, slipping into my own private world where all my lust and desires were being answered by his touch and his pounding thrusts. It wouldn’t be much longer before I reached climax.

“Hey. Look at me. Open your eyes. I want to see into them when you come,” Legolas told me.

I did. I opened my eyes to find him looking back at me, lips parted, chest heaving. I thought of the light he spoke of, and swore I could see it in his blue depths. To make love to someone, surrendering your body to them was such an intimate act. To look into each other’s eyes as you climaxed was more than intimate. It was a union of souls. It was a connection that could never be broken.

“You are my anchor,” Legolas said. “You are my bond, the only thing that keeps me on this earth. Without you, I am nothing. I love you. I love you so much.”

“Oh Legolas,” I cried as I climaxed. My seed burst forth, and my body went rigid. Legolas was still moving within, satisfying me until I had nothing left. He came then. I could feel his warmth purl inside me. He pulled me down onto his chest and buried his head in my shoulder. “I love you and only you from now until the last day of my existence,” I whispered into his ear as he shuttered against me.

I collapsed onto his chest and we laid there in the warm water, steam rising around us as he softened within me. When our strength returned, we kissed gently, savoring the time we had like this. It was strange to think that only a few hours ago I thought I’d lost him. I thought he hated me and would never speak to me again. Now, here we were, just the two of us, still insanely in love. Not even thoughts of Raenor and his threats could ruin this moment with Legolas. However, as much as I wish I could stay here forever, I knew the reality of my situation was waiting for me when I returned home.

Eventually, we left the tub, taking turns drying each other. I studied Legolas’ form as I toweled him off. He was perfection, masculine beauty, and he was mine. When we were dressed, we left the bathing room and headed for our bedroom. Once there, Legolas collapsed on the bed. I took a seat on the opposite side and sat cross-legged, elbows on my knees, my chin resting on my linked fingers. I watched him a moment, studying him once more, the hard lines of his jaw, the softness of his lips, his gentle eyes.

“I don’t know how we’re going to continue now that Raenor knows about us,” I said.

“Don’t talk like that, not after what we just shared,” he said, the slight ire in his voice evident.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I would run away and disappear before I would leave you,” I assured him.

He sat up on his elbows and watched me. “Would you? Disappear, I mean?” Before he let me answer, his eyes turned sad and he looked away from me. “No. You shouldn’t have to do that. It would be too much to ask.” He paused and sighed deep. “I know it is my fault that you’re in this predicament. I left you that letter and–”

“I’m the only one to blame for that. I should have burned it like I did with the others, but … it was from your heart, and it didn’t seem right.”

“I wrote it while I was in the moment, and I didn’t think it through properly. My father never would have allowed us to bind. I put unnecessary pressure upon you too, and for that I am sorry. I was looking for a way to make sure you know I’m with you in mind and spirit when we cannot be together in body.”

“I don’t need to be assured of that. Maybe I did at one time, but not now, and not ever again. Don’t you feel as though we are already bound? When I look into your eyes, I can see forever. I know I belong with you. I know I wouldn’t last without you in this world,” I told him.

He smiled. “I do know because I feel it too.”

“So you see, we don’t need a ceremony. We don’t need rings or witnesses. We don’t even need your father’s permission for it has already happened.” I finished speaking and he pulled me to him and kissed me. This was when I felt happiest, being in his arms, sharing a private moment. But I knew this would come to an end soon. The thought made me hesitate for only a split second, but it was enough that Legolas noticed my reserve. He broke the kiss and came to look into my eyes again.

“We’ll find a way to make this work. We’ll have a few months to think about it and come up with a solution while I’m away in Gondor.”

I hated the thought of him being away for that long, but maybe it was a good thing. It would give me time to deal with Raenor, and with no reason to sneak off to Mirkwood, there wouldn’t be anything he could accuse me of. Unless he somehow discovered the real reason I was gone now. I was depending on Haldir to help me out, but that didn’t mean suspicions weren’t running rampant. “We’ll figure something out.”

He smiled and laughed to cheer me up. “We always have Arstad.”

“That’s not funny … and actually not a bad idea. I’ll have to come up with different reasons for leaving Lórien. I’ll have to set time limits and be home before I’m missed. Of course, there’s always the chance that Raenor will have me followed.” One minute I was filled with hope, and the next I felt like I’d been slammed face first into the hard stone floor. “Who am I kidding? I seriously don’t know how we’ll do this.” I gave up and laid down on my side, facing Legolas.

He moved towards me, and brushed the hair from my face. It still hung loose, and now it was damp from the bath. “We’ll work this out. For now, you just make sure Raenor can’t find anything to hold against you. Maybe he’ll get bored and go away.”

“I wish it was that easy,” I murmured. Then I smiled. “All right. I’ll stop fretting, at least for the time being. Just promise me you’ll send word as soon as you return to Mirkwood.”

“I will. I promise,” he said, and his fingers worked to unlace my leggings until my cock was freed of its confined space. He looked up at me with his dark desirous eyes, and took me in his hand, stroking me to life. My breath quickened and he eased his way down my body. His glorious mouth consumed me all at once without his usual tongue teasing.

“By the gods, Legolas,” I moaned, knowing how he liked to hear me call out his name. His mouth was wet and hot, and his tongue did things that made my hips gyrate all on their own. As he sucked me, he eased my leggings down and off. Then his hand reached for something on the bed, something he must have dropped there. His hand moved underneath me, spreading me, readying me with a slick substance as he teased my entrance. He knew what I liked. He knew how to make me come about quickly, and I thought he would finish me, but he stopped and sat up, kneeling between my spread legs. We gazed at each other, speaking of our want and our love without the need for words. I reached for the buttons of my undershirt and hurriedly fumbled to undo them. Legolas undid enough of his own buttons to allow himself to pull his shirt off over his head. Then he quickly slipped out of his dark green leggings.

We were both naked, breathing heavily, staring at one another, memorizing the moment so we’d have something to recall upon in the upcoming months of our separation. He moved towards me and I lifted my legs. He entered me, filling me, completely burying himself. I lifted my hands above my head, coming to rest on either side of the pillow. Legolas started a slow but steady rhythm, kissing and nipping at my neck as he moved. He took my wrists in his hands, pinning me to the bed. I felt my whole body surrender to him, letting him drive us to our climax. He was in control of me, and I thought that maybe he always had been. His words came back to me. Would I leave everything behind to be with him? He didn’t let me answer, but he answered for me. He knew what I would say, and he was right, but could I? Would I ever make such a life altering move?

Legolas thrust deep inside me, and he brought me from those thoughts. I could feel my orgasm building. My body surrendered as he hit my special spot over and over again. His hands tightened around my wrists. He was close too. I opened my eyes to watch him come, and felt his warmth spilling inside. He was so beautiful when he was like this. One more thrust and my back arched, pushing my body against his. I tilted my head back and cried out my pleasure, not caring who heard me. He captured my mouth and kissed me, our tongues caressing each other, my moans filling his breath. We were completely one. We always would be no matter what happened or where we were. I would never give him up. I would never leave him. He was my iaun nín … my sanctuary.

Eventually, we came to rest beside one another. We had spent all our energy with our coupling, and Legolas fell asleep quickly. I laid there for a while, staring at the wood rafters above us, wishing we could float away and never be found. If only things were that simple, but this was no faerie tale. I faced real concerns and threats. I faced an uncertain future, especially for Legolas and me. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him every second of every day, but I didn’t think we would ever be allowed that luxury. Were we left with nothing more than little escapes from our lives to be with each other? Maybe my brothers were right, and we would have to wait until we met in Valinor before we could truly be a couple, and live as one too.

I never did sleep. I was worried about getting home. Even though Legolas forged a message from his father, I didn’t want to wait too long to get back. I looked over and Legolas was still asleep. I woke him with soft kisses about his face. He smiled before his eyes opened. What I wouldn’t do to wake up every day to his handsome face.

“I should be going,” I whispered reluctantly.

“No. Not yet. Stay at least until the sunrise,” he pleaded with sleepy eyes.

“I need to be home by then, and if I push Haldir’s horse, I should make it just in time, but I need to leave now.”

He sat up on one elbow and pulled me down to him, kissing me using his seductive tongue. “I guess there is nothing I can do to make you stay.” His hand slipped down to take up my cock, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“It’s best that I go now,” I told him with a smile, bringing his hand out of the covers and kissing his knuckles. “You know I’d stay if only I had enough time.”

“I know, but it never hurts to try,” he jested.

We sat up and dressed. Legolas braided my hair, surprisingly in the fashion of Lórien elves. He’d always done it as the Wood elves had, but he knew I was going home. It only made sense. When we were ready, we came together in each other’s arms, holding on for as long as we could. This wasn’t the first time we had to part ways. In fact, we’d done this same thing on several occasions. At least this time I knew where he was going and approximately how long he would be away. There was no war to fight, no enemies to slay. Legolas was attending a celebration and reuniting with old friends. He would visit for a proper length of time, and then he’d be home again. I had something to look forward to for once. It still didn’t change the fact that I would miss him terribly.

Legolas walked with me to the stables. He checked over the saddle and attached my packs. I loved how he needed to take care of me down to the simplest of things. Then he asked the stable hands to give us a moment. When we were alone, he held me and kissed me. “Take care of yourself, Rúmil. I want you in one piece when I get back.”

“I won’t be complete until I’m with you again,” I smiled.

“I love you,” he told me, burying his face in my neck, hugging me once more.

“I love you too,” I responded. We forced ourselves apart, and I mounted my horse. Legolas’ hand grasped my booted ankle and squeezed. He went to the stable door and swung it open. I rode forward, but hesitated as I passed him. I reached out with my hand, and Legolas took it up, kissing my palm. I touched the side of his face, brushing my fingers through his loose hair, smiled and rode out of the stables. I looked back once and waved. Legolas waved back, and I was gone.

“All right, horse,” I said. “Take us home swiftly.” We took off at a gallop and rode into the last hours of dark before the sun rose on another day.


End file.
